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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27197935">Still Breathing</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/DizzyBlackRaven/pseuds/DizzyBlackRaven'>DizzyBlackRaven</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Just Breathe [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Mass Effect Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gay Sex, Homophobia, Hypersexuality, M/M, Mass Effect AU, Mental Illness, Past Rape/Non-con, Suicidal Thoughts, Threesome, Underage Drinking, Unprotected Sex, heavy cursing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 17:09:35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Rape/Non-Con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>174,600</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27197935</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/DizzyBlackRaven/pseuds/DizzyBlackRaven</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>This is the third and final arc of my Mass Effect AU trilogy, Just Breathe. This arc focuses on the relationship between teenagers— John Shepard and Kaidan Alenko. </p>
<p>I highly recommend reading the previous two arcs, as there are several original characters as well as several plot points that will be revisited in this arc.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kaidan Alenko/Male Shepard, Male Shepard/Original Male Characters</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Just Breathe [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1648417</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Welcome Home</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vondergeist/gifts">Vondergeist</a>, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/aradajnam/gifts">aradajnam</a>, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liarian/gifts">Liarian</a>, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/CEproductions/gifts">CEproductions</a>, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/StanDick/gifts">StanDick</a>, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/kalona6/gifts">kalona6</a>, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Krisalt/gifts">Krisalt</a>, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Solgerd/gifts">Solgerd</a>, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zounds_I_am_undone/gifts">Zounds_I_am_undone</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This story is by far the longest I've written. I hope you enjoy it. It is written for all the lovely people that have supported my work— especially, Vondergeist— I hope you enjoy the end of my trilogy. I enjoyed writing it. Thank you all for reading— much love to you all. =)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Well, we're here. Home sweet home, eh, Shepard," Kaidan smiled as he led the young blonde into the house.</p>
<p>"Glad to be here. I thought I'd never get out of there. If I never see a hospital again, it'll be too soon," Shepard said as he carefully took a seat on the couch.</p>
<p>"We're glad to have you home, Son," Anderson grinned as he placed Shepard's pack on the floor.</p>
<p>"I got his medication from the car, so I think that's everything," Kahlee said as she closed the front door.</p>
<p>"Where's Hailey?" The blue-eyed teen asked in confusion.</p>
<p>"She's at a friend's house. We weren't sure you would get to come today, so we thought it was best to have her stay with a friend," Kahlee explained.</p>
<p>"She's missed you so much, and we really didn't want to get her hope's up. She'll be so excited to see you. In fact, we should probably go pick her up," Anderson suggested.</p>
<p>"Will you be alright until we get back," Kahlee asked as she gently brushed a stray dark-blonde hair from her son's too-blue eyes.</p>
<p>"I can stay with him," Kaidan offered, causing Shepard to cock his brow.</p>
<p>"Are you sure? You've done so much already." Kahlee asked, not wanting to burden the young man.</p>
<p>"It'll be fine. I'll just call and explain things. I'm sure they won't mind if I'm a little late," the amber-eyed teen assured with a smile.</p>
<p>"Uh, not to sound ungrateful or nothin', but I'm pretty sure I'll be fine on my own," Shepard said with a slightly annoyed look on his face, "There's no need for Kaidan to go to all that trouble. Like you said— he's done enough."</p>
<p>"Shepard, I don't mind. It's really no trouble. I'd like to stay if you'll allow it," Kaidan offered with a determined look on his face.</p>
<p>"John, honey, we know that you're probably more than capable of watching after yourself, but we would feel better if you'd allow Kaidan to stay," Kahlee insisted.</p>
<p>Shepard sighed heavily— as he rubbed his face hard with both hands. "Fine— if it makes you feel better— he can stay."</p>
<p>"Excellent," Anderson said with a grin as he took Kahlee by the hand, "We'll be back in a little while."</p>
<p>"Yeah, yeah," Shepard grinned as he rubbed his sore left shoulder. "See you soon."</p>
<p>"Be good," Kahlee chuckled as she closed the door behind her.</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>For the next half-hour or so, Kaidan watched the blue-eyed teen carefully, being sure to take note of any changes in the young blonde’s expression. After a while, he noticed that the pained look on Shepard’s face was not diminishing as it had earlier in the evening.</p>
<p>"So— How are you feeling? Is your shoulder bothering you? Do you need something for the pain?" The brunette teen asked nervously, knowing how stubborn Shepard could be.</p>
<p>"Kaidan, I'm fine," Shepard insisted, rolling his sapphire blue eyes as he spoke. "Seriously, everything has pretty much healed. It's been nearly a month since the accident."</p>
<p>"Yeah, but it wasn't a small accident. You nearly <b>died</b>, Shepard," Kaidan reminded his stubborn friend.</p>
<p>"Well, yeah— But I'm okay now," the blue-eyed teen insisted, "It really wasn't that bad."</p>
<p>"Wasn't that bad!? Shepard, you were hit by a car! You flatlined several times," Kaidan said as he shook his head at the young blonde, "If you don't think that was bad, then I'd hate to see what your idea of bad is."</p>
<p>"I dunno," Shepard shrugged, "Permanently dying, maybe."</p>
<p>"Not funny, Shepard," the amber-eyed teen scolded.</p>
<p>"Okay, okay. I'm sorry," the blonde-haired teen sincerely apologized as he rubbed his friend's shoulder.</p>
<p>"Uh-huh," Kaidan said, slightly annoyed at his injured friend. "School starts soon. Are you looking forward to it?"</p>
<p>"Not really," Shepard admitted. "I don't really do well in school. I'm looking forward to hockey, though."</p>
<p>"Are you sure you'll be able to play— will you be healed enough," Kaidan asked, a look of doubt in his whisky-coloured eyes.</p>
<p>"Oh, I'll be ready. Come hell or high water— I'm playing hockey," Shepard insisted.</p>
<p>"Stubborn as they come, aren't you," Kaidan shook his head in amusement at his bold friend.</p>
<p>"Yep. I—I, uh, I'm sorry for burdening you. When I was in the hospital, I kinda threw a lot of stuff at you, all at once. I'm sorry, yeah. I know I shouldn't have burdened you with that stuff about Aaron. I just— I needed to talk to someone, you know. It won't happen again," Shepard said softly.</p>
<p>"You never burdened me. I was happy to listen. If you ever need to talk about anything— Aaron included— I'm here." Kaidan smiled sincerely as he gently stroked the top of Shepard's hand.</p>
<p>"It's just— sometimes I wonder why you keep visiting me. It can't be pleasant, being around an annoying pussy that whines all the goddamn time," Shepard laughed bitterly. "Maybe eventually, we can talk about nice things and not all the morbid shit that's in my head. Know what I mean?" </p>
<p>"I'd like that," Kaidan smiled warmly. "And I never thought of you as whiny or annoying, and I definitely don't think of you as a pussy."</p>
<p>Shepard broke out laughing hysterically at the word 'pussy'. </p>
<p>"What? What's so funny? Did I say something odd," Kaidan asked with a cocked brow.</p>
<p>"I—I'm sorry. It's just— I never would have imagined hearing you say the word pussy," Shepard explained.</p>
<p>Kaidan couldn't help but chuckle back. "Well, normally,  I wouldn't. I was just commenting on your words. You're the one with the foul mouth, not me."</p>
<p>"Fucking right! That's why it's so goddamn funny to hear," Shepard admitted.</p>
<p>About that time, the front door opened, and in an instant, a little girl with dark skin and light-grey eyes was hugging Shepard with all of her might.</p>
<p>"Loco, you're home! I'm so happy! I missed you so much," Hailey exclaimed with tears of joy shining in her big grey eyes.</p>
<p>"I missed you too, Hailey," Shepard replied back, returning the hug in equal measure.</p>
<p>"You're all she's been talking about since we told her you were home," Anderson chuckled at his son and daughter.</p>
<p>"She couldn't wait to see you," Kahlee added as she placed her purse on the coffee table.</p>
<p>"Yeah, I've been looking forward to seeing her too," Shepard admitted, as he kissed the little angel on the forehead.</p>
<p>"Are you still hurt," Hailey asked, pointing at the sling on his left arm.</p>
<p>"My shoulder and collarbone are a little sore, but I'm alright. No worries, eh."</p>
<p>"Are you sure you're okay?" Hailey asked with a disbelieving look.</p>
<p>"I'm sure, Hailey," Shepard assured his tiny sister with a grin. </p>
<p>"Do you think you'll feel like coming to my birthday party next weekend?" Hailey asked shyly.</p>
<p>"Don't worry, Hailey— I'll be there," Shepard smiled, "I promise, yeah."</p>
<p>"Will you come too, Kaidan," the little angel asked with a bright smile.</p>
<p>"How could I say no to that smile," Kaidan grinned, "Of course, I'll be there."</p>
<p>"Thank you!" Hailey exclaimed as she kissed the brunette teen's cheek.</p>
<p>"Hailey, do you want to help me in the kitchen," Kahlee asked her daughter as she made her way to the kitchen.</p>
<p>"Okay, Mommy," the little girl agreed as she followed her mother towards the kitchen.</p>
<p>"Well, I better get home," Kaidan announced as he stood to leave.</p>
<p>"Thanks for staying," Anderson said as he shook the young man's hand.</p>
<p>"No problem. I was glad to do it," Kaidan assured with a smile. "I'll see you soon, eh, Shepard."</p>
<p>"Sure," Shepard replied simply, as he watched his friend exit the house.</p>
<p>"Do you need any help getting to your room or anything?" Anderson asked as he watched his son rise from his seat.</p>
<p>"Nah, my legs are fine— just a little sore. I can do it on my own. I'll be fine. Appreciate the thought, though."</p>
<p>"I'll let you know when dinner's ready," Anderson offered as he continued to watch his son carefully.</p>
<p>"Thanks, Dad," Shepard said as he made his way to the bedroom.</p>
<p>"Rest well, Son," Anderson whispered as he made his way to the kitchen.</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>Happy to be in his own bed, it didn't take long for Shepard to get comfortable, and while he was still sore, he soon found himself lost in sleep— </p>
<p>"STOP! STOP!" Hailey yelled as they made it to the other side of the street.</p>
<p>"What? What?" James asked, stopping dead in his tracks.</p>
<p>"Loco, I lost my keychain!" Hailey cried, pointing at the trinket lying in the street.</p>
<p>"I'll get it, Hailey," Shepard assured her as he crossed the street.</p>
<p>Bending down, Shepard grabbed the small trinket, smiling as he palmed it.</p>
<p>The next thing he heard was the sound of someone screaming his name, along with the sound of tires screeching.</p>
<p>The car never stopped, hitting Shepard hard just as he was standing, causing him to be thrown up and over the vehicle. He couldn't really focus much. He knew he was in pain, and he knew he was bleeding. He could taste the copper in his mouth, and feel it running down the side of his head. He tried to get up but only managed to turn over. </p>
<p>Once he turned over, the scene changed, and the young blonde soon found himself in the trauma bay of Vancouver General—</p>
<p>"He's flatlining," The trauma surgeon screamed as they worked frantically to save him, but all Shepard could see was a white light—</p>
<p>"Hey, J. Baby, wake up!" Aaron's voice echoed in Shepard's head as he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder.</p>
<p>"Aaron—" Shepard's intense blue eyes fluttered open as he tried to focus on the figure before him.</p>
<p>"No, Son. It's Dad," Anderson whispered as he gently ran a hand through his son's dark-blonde hair. "Dinner's ready if you feel up to eating."</p>
<p>"Y-yeah," Shepard nodded as he slowly sat up in bed, "Food sounds good, just give me a few minutes."</p>
<p>"Sure," Anderson said with a sad smile as he slowly made his way to the door. </p>
<p>"Dad," the young blonde called out nervously, "I wasn't having a nightmare, was I?"</p>
<p>"I'm not sure, Son," Anderson answered truthfully, "You were a bit restless when I came in, but you weren't calling or lashing out. Why do you ask?"</p>
<p>"I-it's nothing," Shepard said as he slowly got up from the bed. "I was just asking, that's all."</p>
<p>"Okay," Anderson nodded as he spoke. "But if you ever need to talk, I'm here."</p>
<p>"I know," Shepard said with a sincere smile.</p>
<p>"I better go see if your mother needs any help in the kitchen," Anderson grinned as he quietly left the room.</p>
<p>"Why do I keep dreaming about that day," Shepard asked himself as he rubbed his face hard with his right hand.</p>
<p><em> 'I have no idea. The dream sure don't seem to upset you. Maybe it's because the accident led to you seeing Aaron again? If that's the case, don't you dare get any ideas about trying to recreate that shit. We can't take another goddamn hit like that,' </em> the voice scolded.</p>
<p>"Yeah, yeah— I get it! No more dying," Shepard grinned as he rolled his eyes in amusement. "You wouldn't like that either, right, baby," Shepard whispered as he kissed the silver ring Aaron had given him.</p>
<p><em> 'Damn right, he wouldn't,' </em> the voice agreed as Shepard slowly made his way to the washroom.</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>"I hope you're in the mood for pasta," Kahlee said as Shepard kissed his mother on the cheek.</p>
<p>"Always, yeah," the young blonde grinned with a wink as he took his seat at the table.</p>
<p>"Mommy's pasta is the best," Hailey praised as she, too, took her seat at the table.</p>
<p>"Damn right, it is," Shepard agreed, causing his mother to halfheartedly scold him.</p>
<p>"Language, John," Kahlee said, unable to stifle a smile. God, how she had missed his foul mouth.</p>
<p>"Sorry, Mom," the blue-eyed teen said with a grin.</p>
<p>"What do you two want to drink," Anderson asked as he poured wine for the adults.</p>
<p>"Um, water's fine," Shepard said as he rose from his seat, "I can get it, Dad."</p>
<p>Anderson just nodded as he continued to help Kahlee with the food.</p>
<p>"What do you want to drink, Hailey," Shepard asked as he opened the refrigerator door. </p>
<p>"Um— Do we have any juice?" Hailey asked, cocking her head to the side.</p>
<p>"Uh— Yep, we have apple, grape, and orange. Which would you like?" Shepard asked.</p>
<p>"Hmm— Grape— so I can be like Mommy and Daddy," Hailey explained. </p>
<p>Shepard snickered a bit at his tiny sister but didn't have the heart to tell her that grape juice was not the same as wine. "Grape, it is."</p>
<p>"Thank you, Loco," Hailey said as she took the juice from her big brother. "Loco, what are you going to get me for my birthday?" </p>
<p>"Well, what do you want, Hailey?" Shepard asked with a grin as he once again took his seat.</p>
<p>"I don't know," Hailey shrugged. "I guess I want you to surprise me."</p>
<p>"I think I can do that," Shepard chuckled. "What did you ask Mom and Dad to get you?"</p>
<p>"A bike," Hailey simply stated.</p>
<p>"Good choice," the blue-eyed teen nodded as he opened his bottle of water.</p>
<p>"Dinner's served," Kahlee announced as she and Anderson took their seats.</p>
<p>"Looks delicious, honey," Anderson praised as he began to pass the food around the table.</p>
<p>"I just hope John likes it. He's been eating nothing but hospital food for nearly a month," Kahlee said.</p>
<p>"You know how much I love your pasta, Mom," Shepard assured. </p>
<p>"Good, then you can have as much as you want. I made plenty," Kahlee said with a bright smile.</p>
<p>"It's so fucking good to be home," Shepard chuckled aloud.<br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Matchmaker</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Shepard plays matchmaker—</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Shepard had been home for a little over a week when he decided it was time to leave the house. As much as he loved being home with his family, the young blonde's need for independence finally won out. </p><p>"Good morning, sweetheart." Kahlee greeted her son as he made his way to the coffee pot.</p><p>"'Morning," Shepard replied back as he poured himself a cup of coffee.</p><p>"Where's your sling," Kahlee asked in a worried tone.</p><p>"I don't really need it anymore," the blue-eyed teen explained, "It's been over five weeks, so it should be fine without the sling."</p><p>"Didn't the doctor want you to wear it for six weeks," Kahlee reminded her injured son.</p><p>"It'll be fine, really. Look— I can move it just fine. It's only a little stiff, eh," Shepard insisted, rotating his shoulder for emphasis.</p><p>Kahlee gave a deep sigh. "Alright— just don't over-do it, okay."</p><p>"I won't. I promise," Shepard said as he kissed her cheek. "Where's Hailey?"</p><p>"She had a play-date with her friend, Olivia. She'll be there until four," Kahlee replied.</p><p>Shepard nodded in understanding. "So, what did you guys get her— for her birthday, I mean?"</p><p>"A bicycle," Kahlee grinned, "With all of the safety gear, of course."</p><p>"Yeah. She'll love that," Shepard smiled as he took another drink of his coffee.</p><p>"David can't wait to teach her how to ride," Kahlee chuckled, "And I can't wait to video the entire experience."</p><p>"It'll be something to see," the young blonde agreed with a nod.</p><p>"So, what are you going to get her?" Kahlee asked curiously.</p><p>"Um, Ryan and me, kinda, have a plan. We hope she'll like it," Shepard grinned.</p><p>"Ryan's coming? Hailey will be so surprised," Kahlee chuckled, "She has such a huge crush on him."</p><p>"Yeah, he's actually in Vancouver already. It's off-season, so he's back for a while. I'm gonna meet him today. He's going apartment hunting and wants my opinion on things," Shepard explained as he finished his coffee.</p><p>"He's welcome to stay here if he'd like," Kahlee offered.</p><p>"He probably will after Hailey's party. He doesn't want her to know he's here until then. He wants to surprise her."</p><p>"Where is Ryan staying now?"</p><p>"With his parents," Shepard said with a shrug, "It's not ideal for him, but he insisted."</p><p>"Does he not get along with his parents?" Kahlee asked in a concerned voice.</p><p>"Uh, It's complicated. You know what I mean," Shepard said, hoping his mother would drop the subject.</p><p>"Okay," Kahlee nodded, knowing her son would say no more on the subject.</p><p>"Well, I'm gonna head out," Shepard said as he kissed his mother goodbye before grabbing his keys and jacket.</p><p>"Are you going to take the bus?" Kahlee asked, hoping her son wasn't thinking of taking his motorcycle.</p><p>"Nope, I'm taking my bike," the blue-eyed teen winked as he hurried out the door before his mother could argue.</p><p>"JOHN," Kahlee called out. "<em>Sigh— </em>That boy—"</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"There's my Baby Boy," Ryan called out, his grey eyes shining as he watched his beloved friend put his helmet away. "I love that friggin' bike! You have to let me drive her one day."</p><p>"You can drive her today if you want," Shepard offered as he hugged his friend tight. "We can take my bike instead of your car if you'd like."</p><p>"Seriously," Ryan exclaimed, "That would be awesome! Thanks, Baby Boy. So, how's the shoulder? Are you feeling okay?"</p><p>"I'm a little stiff, but nothing too bad," Shepard assured his worried friend, "I'll live."</p><p>"Thank fuck for that," Ryan said with a grin.</p><p>"You ready to go look at apartments, Walker," the young blonde asked with a wink.</p><p>"Hell yeah, I am," Ryan chuckled as he followed Shepard towards his bike.</p><p>"She's all yours," Shepard grinned as he handed Ryan a helmet and the keys.</p><p>"Ready, Baby Boy," the grey-eyed man asked as he started the bike.</p><p>"Always," Shepard assured as they peeled out of the parking lot.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>After three solid hours of apartment searching, Ryan and Shepard decided to take a break and grab something to eat.</p><p>Once their food was ready, the two wasted no time digging in— enjoying their meal as well as their conversation.</p><p>"So, how's it going with Kaidan," Ryan teased, wiggling his brows in amusement.</p><p>"It ain't <b>going</b> anywhere," Shepard admitted, rolling his eyes at his grey-eyed friend.</p><p>"Whattaya mean, 'it ain't going anywhere.' That guy's totally into you. It so fucking obvious when he looks at you."</p><p>"Yeah, well, apparently we both read him wrong," Shepard said as he took a bite of his sandwich.</p><p>"J, there's no fucking way we <b>both</b> read him wrong. Our gaydar can't be that fucked— can it," Ryan asked in confusion.</p><p>"I don't know, Walker. All I know is that he hasn't even hinted at anything other than friendship. Seriously, there's been <b>nothing</b>. I even leaned in to kiss him once, and he turned his goddamn head. So— yeah—"</p><p>"That doesn't make any sense, Baby Boy," the brunette said, shaking his head in confusion. "He was so into you before the accident. Hell, you guys even kissed. There's got to be something more to it than, he's just not interested."</p><p>"Yeah— Maybe it's for the best, though," Shepard shrugged.</p><p>"Why do you say that," the grey-eyed man asked with a cocked brow.</p><p>"Well, we ain't got nothin' in common. I mean, absolutely nothin'."</p><p>"I thought you both liked hockey," Ryan said, hoping his young friend wouldn't give up on his new crush.</p><p>"Yeah, but what Canadian doesn't," Shepard explained, "I think he's way out of my league anyway. He's so goddamn smart, you know, book-smart and shit. And he's so damn polite and clean. I wouldn't stand a chance in his world. I think he realized that."</p><p>"J, don't put yourself down. If he ever treats you like you're not worthy, then don't waste your time on him. You are a way better person than any of the rich-ass people where I'm from. That being said— if he really felt like you wouldn't fit in his world, then why the fuck does he go out of his way to spend time with you," Ryan asked in amusement.</p><p>"'Cause, that's just the way he is. He helps everybody. It's in his nature," Shepard insisted.</p><p>"You aren't giving up on him, are you, Baby Boy?"</p><p>"Nah, I just ain't getting my hopes up," the blue-eyed teen replied. "Ain't you got a boyfriend yet?"</p><p>"No. But I really fucking want one. I'm getting tired of never having anything more than convenient sex," Ryan admitted with a frown, "Know what I mean, Baby Boy?"</p><p>"Yeah. I get that. You gotta admit, convenient sex <b>is </b>awfully damn good, though," Shepard grinned as he winked at his beloved friend.</p><p>Ryan broke out laughing, "True enough. I might have to settle with convenient sex anyway. Dylan has a live-in-lover now."</p><p>"Seriously? That fucking sucks! I know how much you liked him," Shepard said apologetically.</p><p>"Yeah, but I could have never loved him," Ryan admitted as he finished off his meal.</p><p>"I bet I know a guy that you'd absolutely love. If you trust me enough to hook you up, that is," Shepard suggested.</p><p>"Oh, yeah," Ryan asked as his face lit up in curious interest. "Do I know him?"</p><p>Shepard couldn't help but chuckle at his grey-eyed friend. "Not personally, but I've told you about him. It's Alex."</p><p>"Alex? Your fuck-buddy Alex?" Ryan was shocked at the suggestion. "Why would you hook me up with your favourite fuck-buddy?"</p><p>"Because he's a helluva nice guy, and I love you both— and think you'd really like each other," Shepard tried to explain. "Is it really such a crazy idea?"</p><p>"Well, yeah. Most people would find it crazy, but not you. You're so fucking weird, J. But I trust you, so why the hell not? You'll have to tell me a bit about him, though. All I heard from Aaron was how much he hated Alex. We both know it was just jealousy talking, though."</p><p>"Yeah," Shepard said with a melancholic smile, "Aaron was always like that."</p><p>"Yeah, he really loved his J," Ryan said sadly. "So— tell me about Alex."</p><p>"Um— He's kinda tall, about 6'1"— so, he's around your height. He has medium-length brown hair that he keeps perfectly groomed, light-brown eyes— sexy and hot as hell. Oh, and he's the best fuck I've ever had," Shepard admitted.</p><p>"Seriously? I thought Aaron was the best you ever had," Ryan said, although he immediately regretted his words. "Jesus, Baby Boy, I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything by it. I just— Me and my big fucking mouth."</p><p>"It's okay, Ryan," Shepard assured him as he gently stroked his friend's hand. "Aaron was the best thing in my life. Sex with Aaron was different. I can't explain it— it was perfect, and I wouldn't give one night with Aaron for a thousand nights with Alex, no matter how good in bed Alex is. Know what I mean?"</p><p>"Yeah, I think I do," Ryan said, smiling at his beloved Baby Boy.</p><p>"So, yeah, as far as pure, raw sex goes, Alex <b>is </b>the best I've ever had and he probably always will be," Shepard admitted, "He's that goddamn good."</p><p>"Now I <b>really </b>wanna meet him," Ryan groaned at all the dirty thoughts that entered his mind.</p><p>Shepard laughed in amusement. "I'll see if I can hook you up. There's, uh, just one more thing—"</p><p>"What? Is it something bad," Ryan asked, hoping it wasn't anything too serious.</p><p>"He sells weed," Shepard stated plainly, "I'm pretty sure he's a college guy too, but I ain't positive."</p><p>"Hn. I think I can handle that," Ryan said slowly.</p><p>"Good," Shepard grinned, nodding his head in approval. "You gotta promise me that if my head gets weird, I can get him to, uh, <b>assist</b> me."</p><p>"You mean, you want me to let you guys fuck if your head gets messed up," Ryan said as he considered Shepard's words. </p><p>"I know it's a lot to ask, but Alex is kinda my go-to guy, but I don't want you to feel weird or nothing." Shepard could see the torn look in his friend's eyes and immediately regretted his words. "You know what, forget I said anything. Alex is all yours. It's not a problem, eh."</p><p>"If it were anyone else, I'd say hell no— But for you, J— For you, it's okay. I understand. I promised to look out for you, and that's what I'm gonna do. So, no worries, eh," Ryan agreed as he gently rubbed his friend's hand.</p><p>"Thanks. It means a lot. I'll try not to come between you," Shepard promised.</p><p>"Baby Boy, you could never do that. We're kinda jumping the gun, though, ain't we? We don't even know if Alex will be interested," Ryan reminded the young blonde.</p><p>"Well, why don't we go find out? I need to get laid anyway," Shepard joked as he paid the bill for their food.</p><p>"Seriously? You want me to go with you and wait for you to get laid," Ryan chuckled. "You are bold as brass."</p><p>"I know. I'm a fucking monster," Shepard admitted with a grin.</p><p>"You know what— I'm game. Let's go, so you can introduce me to Alex."</p><p>"Hell, yes," Shepard agreed as he followed Ryan out of the building.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>It didn't take long for the boys to arrive just outside Alex's apartment—</p><p>"A condo? Sweet," Ryan said in awe. "He sure knows how to live, huh?"</p><p>"Yep," Shepard nodded. "You ready?"</p><p>"After you," Ryan insisted as he followed his young friend into the building.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>
  <b>KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK—</b>
</p><p>"Are you sure he's home?" Ryan asked anxiously, suddenly feeling like a kid again.</p><p>"Yes, I'm sure. He's just slow. Calm down, eh," Shepard chuckled, amused by his friend's sudden nervousness, as the door slowly opened.</p><p>"Blue-eyes," Alex grinned as he quickly took the young blonde into his arms, "I've missed you so much! You look good. Is everything healed? I hope you got the flowers I sent."</p><p>"I got 'em. Thanks for thinking of me. I'm doing good," Shepard replied with a wink.</p><p>"How about a kiss, blue-eyes," Alex asked with a wicked grin.</p><p>"Thought you'd never ask," Shepard purred as he kissed the older man languidly, causing Ryan to stare in fascination.</p><p>"Well, that's hot," Ryan admitted as the couple finally pulled apart.</p><p>"Yeah, told you he was hot," Shepard said with a suggestive wink.</p><p>"Who's this, blue-eyes? Your new boyfriend, perhaps?" Alex asked as he gave Ryan a seductive smile.</p><p>"Nope, this is Ryan. I know I've told you about him," the blue-eyed teen explained.</p><p>"The hockey player. He's even more attractive than I imagined," Alex admitted as he led his guests into the apartment.</p><p>"Nice place you have here," Ryan complimented as he took in the sights of the spacious apartment.</p><p>"Why, thank you," Alex grinned as he wrapped his arms around Shepard's narrow waist.</p><p>"Ryan's been looking for a place all day, and ain't had no luck," Shepard said with a slight moan as Alex began kissing his neck slowly.</p><p>"You're welcome to stay here for a while. I have two empty guest-rooms— just take your pick," Alex offered as he continued to ravage the young blonde's neck.</p><p>"Seriously? You don't even know me," Ryan chuckled in amusement, wondering if the older man was actually serious.</p><p>"No, but Shepard knows you. That's good enough for me," Alex shrugged as he licked the shell of Shepard's ear.</p><p>"You should take him up on his offer," Shepard suggested, "I doubt you'll find a nicer place, and I'm sure you can't beat the price."</p><p>"You can stay for free— for as long as you like," Alex offered, "No worries, eh."</p><p>Ryan chewed his lip in concentration before finally making his decision—</p><p>"Uh— Sure, what the hell," Ryan agreed as he took a seat on the couch.</p><p>"Well, if you don't mind, blue-eyes and I are going to head to the bedroom. Feel free to look around. The fridge is fully stocked, so make yourself at home," Alex said as he led Shepard to the bedroom. </p><p>"Hey, do you mind if I go get my stuff while you two are, uh—" Ryan paused, unsure of what to say.</p><p>"Fucking, Ryan. We'll be fucking," Shepard teased, causing both Alex and Ryan to break out laughing.</p><p>"My keys are on the table. You can take my car— if you want. It's the black Lexus," Alex said as he closed the bedroom door. </p><p>"That has got to be the most laid back dude I have ever met," Ryan said with a grin as he grabbed the keys and headed out to collect his things.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"God, I missed you, blue-eyes," Alex said, still panting from their play.</p><p>"I missed you too," Shepard admitted as he kissed the older man deeply. "I really needed this. It's been a rough year. Hell, it's been a rough life."</p><p>"That's an understatement," Alex said as he held Shepard close and gently stroked his dark-blonde hair. "You doing okay?"</p><p>"As well as I can be," the blue-eyed teen admitted with a bitter laugh. "I'm not gonna lie, though— it's rough sometimes."</p><p>"No doubt," Alex whispered as he kissed the teen's forehead.</p><p>"This is gonna sound weird, but— what do you think about Ryan?"</p><p>"Hmm— Is he the new guy you're interested in," Alex asked curiously.</p><p>"No," Shepard chuckled, "A guy named Kaidan is the one I'm trying to get to know. Ryan's my closest friend— now that Aaron's—"</p><p>"It's alright. You don't have to say anymore," Alex assured as he held the blue-eyed teen tighter. "I think Ryan's very handsome— Hot as hell, really. Why do you ask?"</p><p>"I kinda thought you two would make a good couple," Shepard explained, "I already told him all about you, and he's cool with us. So— if you're interested, maybe you can give him a chance, yeah."</p><p>Alex chuckled warmly at the young blonde. "Matchmaking doesn't seem like something you'd be interested in. So, why set us up?"</p><p>"Well, I love you guys, and I want you to be happy. I mean, you guys are very similar— as far as personality goes anyway. You ain't exactly alike or nothin', but if you were, it'd be boring as fuck, right? So— I figured you guys would be good for each other. Besides, you guys seem kinda lonely. I know what that's like. It sucks. You guys deserve better, ya know," Shepard answered truthfully.</p><p>Alex was visibly touched by the young blonde's words. "You are an amazing person. And when you put it that way, how could I not give Ryan a chance. We're pretty damn lucky to have you in our lives."</p><p>Shepard blushed at the compliment. "I-I don't know about that."</p><p>
  <b>KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK —</b>
</p><p>"Do you guys mind if I come in, or are you still going at it," Ryan asked from behind the bedroom door.</p><p>Alex laughed as he called out, "Come on in. We're still naked, but nothing you haven't seen before, I'm sure."</p><p>"I-I'll give you guys a second," Ryan stuttered, causing Shepard to laugh and reach for his jeans.</p><p>"He's kinda shy, apparently," Shepard chuckled as he buttoned his jeans.</p><p>"I think it's adorable. Don't worry, though. I'll get him used to nudity and being naked," Alex winked as he put on a pair of sweats.</p><p>"Our dicks are covered. You can come in now," Shepard teased, "You big baby."</p><p>"I'm not a baby! I just don't want to interrupt," Ryan grinned as he entered the room. "I hate to rush you, Baby Boy, but it's getting late. Your parents are probably expecting you back, eh."</p><p>"Yeah, I guess I should head home," Shepard agreed as he kissed Alex goodbye, "I'll see you soon."</p><p>"Looking forward to it," Alex grinned before turning his attention to Ryan, "Hurry back, Ryan. I can't wait to get to know you better."</p><p>Ryan blushed before grinning at the older man. "I'll be back before you know it."</p><p>"I'll hold you to that," Alex said as he watched the two boys leave the house. "This should be fun," Alex chuckled as he headed for the washroom.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"I must be crazy," Ryan said as he parked Shepard's motorcycle. "Am I crazy, J?"</p><p>"No. I think you moving in with Alex is a great start," Shepard said as he took the helmet from Ryan.</p><p>"You don't think it's too soon. I mean, I don't even know the guy," Ryan asked nervously.</p><p>"Relax, Ryan. He's doing you a favour. I promise he's a good guy. You won't have to worry about him doing anything to make you uncomfortable. Just be honest with him if something bothers you, okay. He's a cool guy, and he'll do his best to make you comfortable. Who knows, maybe, after a while, you'll start dating," Shepard said with a wink.</p><p>"Do you really think he'll like me? I mean, he seems pretty drawn to you," Ryan admitted.</p><p>"Alex knows that we'll never be more than friends. He's accepted that, and he's cool with it. So, give him a chance. Please— for me," Shepard begged.</p><p>"Only if you promise not to give up on Kaidan," Ryan said.</p><p>"Deal. I won't give up on Kaidan, but I can't help it if he gives up on me, just so we're clear," Shepard explained.</p><p>"Understood," Ryan agreed. "When are we gonna go pick up Hailey's skates and hockey gear?"</p><p>"The guy said that everything would be ready tomorrow," Shepard replied. "We'll still have to take her and have them properly baked and fitted. So, leave a day open for that, eh."</p><p>"No problem," Ryan promised as he hugged the blue-eyed teen tight. "Be careful on your way home and text me when you get there. Love you, Baby Boy. I'll see you tomorrow."</p><p>"Love you too, Walker. Have fun with Alex," Shepard teased with a grin as he kissed his friend on the cheek.</p><p>"Oh, I will! Don't you worry," Ryan said as he made way to the car.</p><p>"That's the spirit," Shepard said as he started his motorcycle and headed home.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next Chapter:  Hailey's birthday party is coming up and guess who's in charge of decorating— ;)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Pink</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It's Hailey's birthday and Kahlee has demanded that her son decorate. A simple request, but can he do it alone?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Mild talk of sexual acts. Nothing graphic.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"John," Kahlee called out to her son as she casually retrieved her keys from the table, "Can you come here for a second?"</p><p>"Yeah, what do you need," Shepard asked, slightly out of breath, shirtless, and dripping with sweat.</p><p>Kahlee could tell from his taped hands what her son had been doing. "Seriously, John," she scolded, "It's way too early for you to be using that punching bag. Are you trying to re-injure your shoulder and collarbone?"</p><p>Shepard rolled his sapphire eyes in annoyance. "I'm fine. You worry way too much, Mom. I'm a fast healer. I always have been. You're worrying over nothing."</p><p>"I better be," Kahlee said in mild annoyance, "Anyway, David and I are taking Hailey out for breakfast. While we're gone, I want you to handle the party decorations— that way, we can surprise Hailey as soon as we get home."</p><p>"Mom, I don't know how to do that shit. It's—  it's girly. Everything's pink. How the fuck am I supposed to know how stuff's supposed to look," Shepard whined, causing Kahlee to laugh at her son.</p><p>"I'm sure you can figure it out. They're only streamers and balloons," Kahlee insisted, "I need you to pick up her cake as well. I've made a list. Please make sure to finish everything. I want this day to be special for Hailey."</p><p>Shepard's eyes grew wide when he saw the sheer length of the to-do list. "Mom, there ain't no goddamn way I can do all of this before you guys get back!"</p><p>"Sure, you can! You'll have about four hours," Kahlee said, confident in her son's ability to get things done. "If you need help, just call your friends. I'm sure Kaidan would be more than happy to help."</p><p>"I ain't calling Kaidan!" Shepard snapped.</p><p>"Fine, call Garrus or James if you want to be stubborn. Just get it done," Kahlee demanded as she kissed her son on the cheek.</p><p>"You better listen to her, Son," Anderson chuckled as he walked past the two, freezing in his tracks at the sound of his fiancée's voice.</p><p>"Stop right there! David, go get Hailey, and let's go," Kahlee scolded, "We don't have all day."</p><p>"But— I just spent hours putting her bike together. I was thinking of staying here, so you two could have a girl's day," Anderson explained.</p><p>"David, we promised Hailey that we'd both take her, so get your ass in gear," Kahlee said in a menacing tone, "<b>NOW, DAVID!</b>"</p><p>"Yes, ma'am," Anderson said as he rushed to collect his daughter, "Hailey, get your coat. Mommy says it's time to go."</p><p>It only took a few brief minutes for Anderson and Hailey to arrive by Kahlee's side.</p><p>"We're ready when you are," Anderson announced.</p><p>"Good. John, we'll be back soon. Remember what I said," Kahlee said as she took her daughter by the hand.</p><p>"Do you wanna come with us, Loco," Hailey innocently asked.</p><p>"Uh— No. I have to take a shower. Maybe next time, yeah. Have fun," Shepard said as he placed his hand on her tiny head.</p><p>"Four hours, John," Kahlee reminded as Anderson closed the door behind them, but not before shooting his son a sympathetic look.</p><p><em> 'Damn! Who woulda guessed that Mama Kahlee could be so aggressive. I felt like she could have ripped your heart out just now— Mortal Kombat style. We better do as she says, eh,' </em>the voice suggested, genuinely surprised by the blonde woman's demanding attitude. </p><p><b>"FUCK!" </b>Shepard yelled as he made his way to the washroom for a quick shower.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>Once Shepard was done with his shower, he immediately texted Ryan, begging him to pick up Hailey's birthday cake. Ryan immediately agreed, happy to oblige since the bakery was on the way.</p><p>"Thank god for Ryan," Shepard grinned as he quickly marked the cake from the list.</p><p>Shepard was determined not to bother his friends with simple things like decorating for a birthday party. That determination soon faded when he emptied the large bag of decorations. The sheer amount was staggering, and it wasn't long before Shepard was lost.</p><p><em> 'What the hell is all this crap? Seriously, I wanna know. I'm fuckin' lost here,' </em>the voice admitted, causing Shepard's brow to furrow in disappointment.</p><p>"Goddammit. I was gonna ask you what the fuck all this shit is," Shepard said aloud as he rummaged through the various products. "I know you hang the streamers, but why the hell are there three different colours? I mean, can't we use just one?" </p><p><em> 'I really fuckin' doubt it. She bought those three colours for a reason. Are those motherfuckin' holiday lights?' </em>The voice asked in confusion.</p><p>"Yeah— And there's all these goddamn flowers and fairy dolls," Shepard said in annoyance.</p><p><em> 'I don't think you should hang the dolls. I mean, could you imagine the horror— On second thought, let's hang the little bastards,' </em>the voice suggested in a joking tone, causing Shepard to break out laughing at the image in his head.</p><p>"Yeah, I don't think that would be a very good idea," Shepard admitted as he continued to look through the decorations. "There's like 500 balloons here. There's no fucking way I can blow them all up."</p><p><em> 'Oh, I don't know— you're a master at blowing,' </em>the voice teased.</p><p>"What are you, like five? That's such a dumbass joke," Shepard laughed as he opened one of the balloon packs.</p><p><em> 'It made you laugh,' </em>the voice reminded the blue-eyed teen.</p><p>"Well, yeah. I'm a dumbass, though," Shepard said as he took his phone from his pocket.</p><p><em> 'They say admitting it is the first step,' </em>the voice chuckled.</p><p>"Fuck you," Shepard grinned as he started to text both Garrus and James.</p><p><em> 'I thought you weren't gonna bother them with this shit,' </em>the voice said in amusement.</p><p>"Fuck it. If I don't get some goddamn help, I'm fucked, and Hailey will never forgive me," Shepard admitted.</p><p><em> 'Not to mention the fact that your mom will fucking kill you if you fuck this up,' </em>the voice snickered.</p><p>"That too," Shepard agreed as he awaited an answer.</p><p>
  <b>DING—</b>
</p><p>"Thank fuck! They're on their way," Shepard sighed in relief as he gathered the decorations and headed towards the kitchen.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>
  <b>BUZZ— BUZZ— BUZZ—</b>
</p><p>"Garrus! I'm so glad you're here," Shepard said as he hugged his friend desperately.</p><p>"Uh— Good to see you too," Garrus said as he awkwardly patted his blue-eyed friend on the back. "Are you feeling okay?"</p><p>"I'm fine. I just <b>really</b> need your help," Shepard admitted before glancing behind his friend, "Garrus, who the fuck are all those people?"</p><p>"Those guys? No one special— just Tali, Liara, and my older sister, Solana. I'll introduce you to her later," Garrus explained.</p><p>"Is that Kaidan getting out of Liara's car," Shepard asked anxiously. </p><p>"Of course. I figured if anyone knew how to decorate for a party, it would be Kaidan," Garrus admitted.</p><p>"Who's the girl," Shepard asked in an annoyed tone.</p><p>"That's his cousin, Ashley," Garrus replied with a chuckle. "She's no threat to you."</p><p>"Fuck you, Garrus," Shepard snapped as he rolled his eyes at his smug friend.</p><p>"Well, can we come in or not," Garrus asked in amusement, loving how flustered Shepard had become.</p><p>"<em>Sigh— </em>The decorations are in the kitchen. The entire first floor has to be decorated, and we only have three hours," Shepard explained as he ushered the people in.</p><p>"Solana, this is Shepard. Shepard, this is Solana," Garrus introduced the two before heading towards the kitchen.</p><p>Solana was a beautiful young woman. She was tall for a lady— standing around 6'1", with light blue-green eyes and long brown hair. Shepard could tell from the way she spoke that she was a good person.</p><p>"Nice to meet you, Shepard," Solana said with a smile as she shook the blonde-haired teen's hand. "I'm looking forward to seeing you on the ice this season."</p><p>"Yeah, I can't wait to be out there. The wait is killing me," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p><p>"Garrus told me how much you love hockey. Well, I should go help the others," Solana said with a slight bow. "I'll talk to you later."</p><p>"Sure, and thanks for helping," Shepard smiled.</p><p>"No problem," Solana grinned as she made her way to the kitchen.</p><p>"Yo, Loco, I can go rent us a helium tank for these balloons. It would be a helluva lot easier," James suggested.</p><p>"That's actually a great idea, James," Shepard admitted as he chanced a glance at Kaidan, who was busy concentrating on twisting the streamers. "Do you want company? I'd like to get some air."</p><p>"Sure, Loco," James said as Shepard followed him to the door. "You can help me carry in all of Hailey's gifts when we get back. My trunk's full."</p><p>"Seriously? You guys didn't have to do that," Shepard said as he opened the passenger's side door.</p><p>"Hailey's a popular girl, Loco. We all love her," James grinned as he buckled his seat belt. "You ready to go."</p><p>"Yep," Shepard said as they pulled out of the driveway and made their way down the street.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"So, where's this friend of yours? Kinda rude of him to let us do all the work. I mean, he didn't even say hi to everyone," Ashley said as she continued helping Kaidan with the streamers.</p><p>"He's, uh, shy," Kaidan lied as he continued twisting the ribbon.</p><p>"Yeah, right," Ashley said, rolling her dark-brown eyes at her cousin.</p><p>"<em>Sigh— </em>You haven't even met him yet, Ash. You could hold off on the judgment until then," Kaidan said as he and Ashley began hanging the streamers.</p><p>"Trust me, my instincts are always right, and my instincts are telling me this guy is no good," Ashley admitted.</p><p>"Because he didn't say hello to everyone— that's your reasoning," Kaidan chuckled a bit at his cousin.</p><p>"I call 'em like I see 'em," Ashley grinned as she secured her half of the streamer.</p><p>"We got helium, y'all," James called out as he and Shepard entered the house. "You guys have been workin' hard! Looks good, huh, Loco?"</p><p>"It really does," Shepard smiled as he sat Hailey's presents in the side closet.</p><p>"Shepard," Kaidan called out, causing Shepard to look in his direction. "Come here for a second."</p><p>Shepard furrowed his brow but did as he was asked and slowly made his way over to the amber-eyed young man.</p><p>"Shepard, this is my cousin, Ashley. She's visiting for the next few weeks. Ash, this is Shepard," Kaidan introduced them with a smile.</p><p>Shepard took Ashley's hand and gave her a quick handshake. "Nice to meet you."</p><p>"Same," Ashley smiled a fake smile that Shepard automatically caught.</p><p><em> 'She does not like you,' </em>the voice said in amusement.</p><p>'I can tell,' Shepard thought as he looked around the room. </p><p>"This place looks great. You guys work really fucking fast, don't you? Hailey's gonna love it," Shepard grinned.</p><p>"Is your shoulder feeling better," Kaidan asked curiously.</p><p>"Uh, yeah. It's all good now," Shepard nodded as he anxiously bounced on the balls of his feet.</p><p>"Shepard's a hockey player," Kaidan said as he nudged Ashley's shoulder, trying his best to break the awkwardness between the three of them.</p><p>"Yeah? You any good," Ashley asked casually.</p><p>"Uh, yeah. I can play," Shepard answered with confidence.</p><p>"You should watch him play. He's incredible," Kaidan praised.</p><p>"Yeah, I'll have to do that sometime," Ashley agreed.</p><p>"Maybe we can come, watch you practise," Kaidan suggested.</p><p>"Yeah. Sounds good," Shepard grinned, his sapphire eyes shining.</p><p>Kaidan couldn't help but smile at the blue-eyed beauty. "Any plans to skate this week?"</p><p>"Um— yeah, actually. We're gonna skate on Monday, but it's mostly to show Hailey how to skate. We're supposed to play a pickup game on Tuesday, though," Shepard explained.</p><p>"Well, Ash, whattaya say? Wanna go watch him play on Tuesday," Kaidan asked, hoping she would say yes.</p><p>"Sure," Ashley nodded just as a loud voice rang out—</p><p>"BABY BOY— A LITTLE HELP, PLEASE," Ryan called out as he stood in the doorway, trying his best to balance the cake along with several bags.</p><p>"Walker, if you drop that goddamn cake, I'll fucking kill you," Shepard warned as he quickly took the cake from his best friend's hand.</p><p>"Charming vocabulary," Ashley whispered under her breath, causing Kaidan to give her a disappointed look. "It's a shame, really. He's very attractive."</p><p>"So, you <b>do</b> like him," Kaidan grinned.</p><p>"Actually, no. So far, I don't like him at all. He seems— stupid. I mean, seriously, the way he talks— ugh," Ashley stated with a disgusted look on her face. "Being hot isn't enough for me. You need brains too."</p><p>"Shepard's actually very smart. He talks that way when he's anxious or nervous," Kaidan explained.</p><p>"Kaidan, what's with you? Why the hell do you care whether I like him or not?" Ashley laughed in amusement, "You got a crush on him or something?"</p><p>"What? No, of course not," Kaidan said, feeling his anxiety beginning to well and his head starting to pound. </p><p>"I was just teasing. I know you aren't gay," Ashley chuckled. </p><p>"I think I'm getting a migraine. I need to take something for it," Kaidan said as he slowly massaged his temples.</p><p>"I'll go get you a glass of water. You <b>did </b>bring your medicine, didn't you," Ashley asked.</p><p>"Yeah," Kaidan nodded. "I just need some water."</p><p>"I'll be right back," Ashley assured with a wink.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"So, anything good happen between you and Alex," Shepard asked Ryan with a grin.</p><p>"Maybe—" Ryan teased, causing Shepard to roll his sapphire eyes in amusement.</p><p>"Tell me," Shepard grinned as he gently punched his friend in the arm.</p><p>"Well, we kissed, made out a bit, you know— stuff like that," Ryan grinned.</p><p>"Did you at least suck his dick," Shepard asked bluntly.</p><p>"I fuckin' love you, Baby Boy," Ryan said in amusement, loving his best friend's boldness. "Yes. I sucked his dick, and it was good."</p><p>"Did you get yours sucked?"</p><p>"Hell yeah, I did! It was so fucking good," Ryan admitted.</p><p>"He is pretty great at it," Shepard winked.</p><p>"I can't wait to get him in bed. I don't wanna rush him, though," Ryan explained.</p><p>"Trust me, you won't have to," Shepard promised. "So, are you guys dating, or—"</p><p>"We talked about it, and we agreed to try it. So, yeah— we're a couple, I guess."</p><p>"Congratu-fucking-lations," Shepard said as he hugged his friend tight. "You deserve to be happy, yeah."</p><p>"It's all thanks to you, Baby Boy," Ryan said truthfully. "I love you, J."</p><p>"I love you too, Ryan," Shepard grinned as a noise caught their attention.</p><p>"Hn. I was wondering if I could get a bottle of water for my cousin. He's getting a migraine and needs to take his medicine," Ashley said, trying her best to avoid their gaze.</p><p>"Uh, sure," Shepard nodded as he handed her a bottle of water from the fridge, "Here you go."</p><p>"Thanks," Ashley simply said as she rushed out of the room.</p><p>"What an odd girl. She wouldn't even look at us," Ryan said in confusion.</p><p>"She don't like me much," Shepard explained.</p><p>"Why? What the hell did you ever do to her?" Ryan asked in annoyance.</p><p>"Eh, you know some people— they hate me on sight. Elise comes to mind," Shepard shrugged as he rubbed his left shoulder in nervous habit.</p><p>"She'll change her mind once she gets to know you," Ryan assured his young blue-eyed friend.</p><p>"Maybe. It don't matter," Shepard said with a crooked grin. "Let's go see how the decorations are going."</p><p>"Lead the way," Ryan said as he slapped his friend playfully on the shoulder.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"Here's your water," Ashley said as she quickly handed the bottle to Kaidan. "You are not going to believe the conversation I overheard."</p><p>Kaidan frowned as he took his much-needed medication. "Were you spying on people?"</p><p>"What? NO! It was a total accident. I couldn't help but overhear," Ashley explained.</p><p>"Fine. I'm going to regret this, but what did you overhear?"</p><p>"That Ryan guy— he's gay. I mean, hardcore gay. I think Shepard might be too," Ashley whispered, "The way they talked— it was disgusting."</p><p>"What was so disgusting about it," Kaidan asked curiously.</p><p>"Ryan was talking about sucking a guy's— you know what," Ashley explained, her face turning bright red as she spoke.</p><p>"Ash, straight people talk that way too. It was a private conversation. I'm sure Ryan wouldn't talk like that in public. So, what's the problem? I know you can't be that uptight," Kaidan said as he continued to drink his water.</p><p>"Kaidan, it's a major sin! You know that. You go to the same church I do," Ashley said anxiously.</p><p>"Ash, I think you're overreacting. Even if you think it's a sin, that's no reason to look down on them," Kaidan said truthfully, "Love thy neighbour, remember?"</p><p>"I get that, Kaidan. I really do. It just makes me super uncomfortable," Ashley admitted.</p><p>"Ash, if I were gay, would you think any less of me," Kaidan asked, seriously wanting to know the answer.</p><p>"I don't know, Kaidan. I want to say no, I wouldn't— but I honestly don't know," Ashley replied sadly, "I just wasn't raised that way."</p><p>"Would you still love me? What if one of your sisters came out? Would you still love them," Kaidan asked seriously, hurt that his cousin may not want anything to do with him.</p><p>"Of course, I would," Ashley said, "But at the same time, I wouldn't like it— not one bit. I wouldn't avoid them or you. I guess I would pray for you— and them. Do you think that makes me a bad person?"</p><p>Kaidan sighed. "No, Ash, it doesn't make you bad. I just wish you would at least try to be friendly towards Shepard and Ryan."</p><p>"I’ll try. Wait— you said <b>Shepard </b>and Ryan, so— Shepard's gay too? What a waste," Ashley frowned.</p><p>"Look, Ash, I don't know if he's gay or not. Hell, I don't even know if Ryan's gay. But just in case, don't tell anyone about what you heard. Ryan's a professional hockey player, and he doesn't need the drama," Kaidan warned, trying his best to protect Shepard and his friend.</p><p>"Kaidan, trust me, Ryan's gay. There's no way I misunderstood that," Ashley insisted, "Don't worry, though, I won't tell anyone."</p><p>"Thanks, Ash," Kaidan grinned as he hugged his cousin tight.</p><p>"I love you, Kaidan," Ashley said as she kissed him on the cheek. "You aren't really gay. Are you?"</p><p>"No, Ash," Kaidan said, afraid to tell her about his feelings for Shepard, "I'm not."</p><p>"Didn't think so," Ashley chuckled.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"I have to say, Shepard, the place looks great," Garrus said, nodding in approval.</p><p>"It really does," Shepard agreed. "I'd like to thank everybody. You guys really saved my ass. And it'll really make my little sister's day. So, again, I thank you."</p><p>"Yo, Loco, it looks like guests are arriving," James said as he noticed the people walking up the drive.</p><p>"Well, we should get going," Solana said as she and the other girls made their way to the door. "Garrus, are you good to ride home with James?"</p><p>"Yeah, that's the plan," Garrus said as he kissed Tali goodbye. "I'll call you tonight."</p><p>"You better," Tali warned as she followed Solana, "Are you coming with us, Ash?"</p><p>"Nah, I think I'll stay and hang with Kaidan," Ashley said with a grin.</p><p>"Later, everyone. Tell Hailey 'Happy Birthday' for us," Liara called out as they exited the house to allow room for the guests.</p><p>"What are you waiting for, Baby Boy? Go and greet the guests," Ryan suggested.</p><p>"I—I don't know these people, Ryan. I'll fuck it up," Shepard said nervously, "You know my mouth, I'll offend them. I know I will."</p><p>"I'll handle it. You can go to your room if you want," Ryan offered, rubbing Shepard's back gently. "I'll come, get you when your family gets here, eh."</p><p>"Thanks, Ryan," Shepard said quietly, "I appreciate it."</p><p>"No problem, J," Ryan assured the young blonde as he kissed his forehead.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p><em> 'You feeling alright?' </em>The voice asked in concern.</p><p>"I feel wrong," Shepard nervously admitted.</p><p>
  <em> 'Whattaya mean, 'wrong'?' </em>
</p><p>"I—I just don't wanna be here no more— too many people, maybe," Shepard explained, unsure as to how to explain the feeling he had. "I feel like something wants to hurt me. I'm acting fucking weird, I know."</p><p><em> 'You need to take a nap,' </em> the voice suggested, <em> 'You ain't been sleeping much lately. And we both know, that ain't good.' </em></p><p>"Yeah, I think you're right. Sleep would be good," Shepard mumbled as he crawled into his bed and closed his sapphire-blue eyes.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next Chapter:  Hailey's surprise party. Things don't go quite as planned—</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Crash & Burn</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It's Hailey's birthday, but it doesn't quite go as planned—</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>***WARNING***<br/>SUICIDAL THOUGHTS</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Baby Boy, it's time to wake up," Ryan whispered as he gently shook Shepard from his sleep.</p>
<p>"Aaron," Shepard mumbled as he pulled Ryan in and kissed him deeply.</p>
<p>Ryan's eyes went wide as he gently pulled away from his confused friend. "No, Baby Boy. It's me, Ryan," Ryan sadly whispered, his grey eyes full of sadness.</p>
<p>"Ryan? W—where's Aaron," Shepard asked anxiously as his memory returned in slow flashes.</p>
<p>"J, please try to remember," Ryan pleaded, unwilling to traumatize his young friend by having him re-live Aaron's death. "You're home, Baby Boy. It's your little sister's birthday. Do you remember?"</p>
<p>Shepard's brow furrowed in concentration as he struggled to remember. "Aaron— he's— Aaron's—" The blue-eyed teen's eyes closed tight as he began to sob uncontrollably.</p>
<p>Ryan immediately pulled Shepard close and held him tight. "It's okay, J. I'm here. It's okay. Just breathe."</p>
<p>Ryan held Shepard close until, eventually, the young blonde calmed down enough to speak—</p>
<p>"I'm sorry, Ryan. I don't know what the hell's wrong with me," Shepard apologized. </p>
<p>"No problem, Baby Boy," Ryan assured as he rubbed his friend's back gently. "Are you feeling okay?"</p>
<p>"I—I don't know," Shepard admitted, shaking his head for emphasis, "I feel wrong, but I don't know why. I think I'm just tired."</p>
<p>"Are you seeing things?" Ryan asked softly, afraid for his beloved friend. "Hearing things, maybe?"</p>
<p>"No," the young blonde answered truthfully, "Everything's normal on that front."</p>
<p>"I'll tell you what, you just stay here and get some sleep, and I'll explain to your parents why you're not up," Ryan offered with a gentle smile.</p>
<p>Shepard shook his head slowly. "No. I don't wanna ruin Hailey's birthday. I—I'll be fine. I'll go straight to bed when the party's over," Shepard promised.</p>
<p>"Okay," Ryan agreed, trusting his friend to know best. "You ready to party?" </p>
<p>Shepard laughed a bit at his friend before rising from his bed. "I guess so."</p>
<p>"Just stand near me. I'll make sure to keep the strangers away," Ryan said with a wink as he led the anxious teen from the room.</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>"It's about time you got your ass up, eh, Loco," James teased.</p>
<p>"Y—yeah— wouldn't miss it," Shepard smiled nervously.</p>
<p>"Here, they come! Everyone get ready to surprise Hailey," Garrus instructed as they waited patiently for the door to open—</p>
<p><b>"SURPRISE!" </b>Everyone shouted in unison, causing Hailey's light-grey eyes to light up in wonder.</p>
<p>"Is this for me," Hailey asked, mesmerized, as she took in the sights around her. Beautiful three-tone streamers hung in the air, along with several bouquets of beautiful flowers, with tiny fairies, and tons of multicoloured balloons, all accentuating the fantastical décor.</p>
<p>"Oh, John, it's absolutely beautiful," Kahlee praised as she hugged her son tightly.</p>
<p>"You really outdid yourself, Son," Anderson grinned.</p>
<p>"You did this for me, Loco," Hailey asked, grateful to have a big brother like Shepard. "Thank you! I love it, and I love you," Hailey said as she hugged her brother's waist.</p>
<p>"I love you too, Hailey, but I have to admit— I didn't do this. It was Garrus and his friends. James and Kaidan helped too. I didn't really do much."</p>
<p>"He didn't do anything," Ashley whispered under her breath, causing Kaidan to elbow her in disapproval.</p>
<p>"Ash," Kaidan scolded.</p>
<p>"Fine! I'll be good," Ashley promised as she rubbed her sore arm.</p>
<p>"Oh—" Hailey whispered, her brow furrowed in disappointment, causing Shepard's heart to drop.</p>
<p>"Hailey, shouldn't you thank Garrus and the others for all their hard work," Kahlee suggested.</p>
<p>"Thank you all. It's really pretty," Hailey smiled.</p>
<p>"You're welcome, baby girl," James said with a wink and a grin.</p>
<p>"Uh— Hailey, I, uh, I have a surprise for you," Shepard said nervously, hoping to cheer her up just a bit.</p>
<p>"Yeah," Hailey asked, cocking her little head to the side.</p>
<p>"Yeah," Shepard grinned, "Close your eyes."</p>
<p>Once the little angel's eyes were closed, Ryan came out from behind the crowd and knelt in front of the precocious birthday girl.</p>
<p>"You can open them now," Shepard instructed as he awaited his little sister's reaction.</p>
<p>"RYAN," Hailey gasped in surprise as she hugged the young man tightly.</p>
<p>"Happy Birthday, princess," Ryan said as he returned the hug.</p>
<p>"Look, Mommy! My Ryan came to my party," Hailey said, unable to stop smiling, causing Shepard to grin.</p>
<p>"Your Ryan," Anderson asked, amused by his tiny daughter.</p>
<p>"I can see that, Hailey," Kahlee chuckled. "Thank you for coming, Ryan. It made her day."</p>
<p>"Wouldn't miss it for the world," Ryan said with a wink. "Shall I escort you to your party, Princess Hailey?"</p>
<p>"You shall," Hailey replied as she took the young man by the hand.</p>
<p>"You wanna join us, Baby Boy," Ryan asked, feeling a little guilty about leaving Shepard's side.</p>
<p>"Nah. I'll be okay. Make sure she has fun, eh, Ryan," Shepard requested as he leaned against the wall.</p>
<p>"Will do," Ryan assured his friend as he led Hailey towards the kitchen.</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>Shepard watched from a distance as Hailey enjoyed herself— playing with her friends and laughing whenever Ryan picked her up and spun her 'round-and-'round.</p>
<p><em> 'She's having fun, eh, Shepard,' </em>the voice said in an amused tone.</p>
<p>The voice was alarmed by Shepard's silence and tried once again to get his attention—</p>
<p>
  <em> 'Shepard? Earth to Shepard— Are you listening?' </em>
</p>
<p>"Huh? Did you say something," Shepard asked aloud, forgetting that he was in a room surrounded by strangers.</p>
<p><em> 'I think you need to lie down. You ain't acting right,' </em>the voice suggested, uneasy about how Shepard was acting.</p>
<p>"I don't wanna ruin Hailey's party," Shepard said as he rubbed his face in frustration. "I need some air."</p>
<p><em> 'Yeah, that might help,' </em>the voice agreed as Shepard started to make his way to the door.</p>
<p>"Shepard," Kaidan called out, causing Shepard to look his way. "Where are you headed? Don't you want to stay and watch Hailey open her gifts?"</p>
<p>"I—I'm not going far. I'm just getting some air," Shepard explained, "I'll be back in a few minutes."</p>
<p>"Want some company," Kaidan asked, secretly hoping for some time alone with the blue-eyed blonde.</p>
<p><em> 'Let him join you. It might make you feel better,' </em>the voice suggested, causing Shepard to nod in agreement.</p>
<p>"Sure."</p>
<p>Kaidan smiled as he followed the blonde outside.</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>Once outside, Shepard took a deep breath— letting the fresh air fill his lungs and revitalize him. </p>
<p>"It's a beautiful day," Kaidan said as he looked towards the horizon, smiling as he looked in the blue-eyed teen's direction. "Pretty crowded in there, huh."</p>
<p>"I guess," Shepard shrugged as he stretched his arms over his head. "How's your head? Are you still in pain?"</p>
<p>"A little, but it's not a bad one," Kaidan admitted truthfully.</p>
<p>"Headaches fuckin' suck," Shepard said sympathetically. "I get cluster headaches, and they hurt like a motherfucker. It's like a hot poker going through my goddamn eye socket. I'm tough, but those goddamn things damn near kill me," Shepard admitted.</p>
<p>"They're even worse than migraines, aren't they," Kaidan asked, feeling sorry for the boy.</p>
<p>"I dunno. I figure having migraines is worse, 'cause, you know, you get 'em all the time. With cluster headaches, they only come in episodes. I usually get a couple of months where I don't have any," Shepard explained, rocking back‐and-forth on the balls of his feet as he spoke.</p>
<p>"How long have you suffered from them," Kaidan asked curiously,  taking note of Shepard's restlessness, "Do you have one now?"</p>
<p>"Um— No, I ain't in any pain. I'm just— restless, I guess. And I've had 'em since I was eleven," Shepard replied. "I think stress triggered it. Hell, I think stress triggered a lot of my issues."</p>
<p>"What happened when you were eleven— if you don't mind me asking," Kaidan asked nervously, afraid of coming off as nosy to the beautiful boy.</p>
<p>"Ah, I don't— I don't know you well enough to say," Shepard admitted nervously. "I'm sorry. You're a great guy and all, but—"</p>
<p>Shepard's words were cut short when the side-door suddenly flew open—</p>
<p>"Kaidan, there you are," Ashley said as she grabbed her cousin by the arm, "You left me all alone in there, you ass! I think it's high time you re-joined the party."</p>
<p>Kaidan sighed hard as he allowed himself to be pulled towards the door. "Well, I guess I should get back to the party. Are you coming?"</p>
<p>"Um— No. I think I'll stay here a while," Shepard said, quietly, as he continued to fidget and tug at his shirt.</p>
<p>"You gots ants in your pants or something," Ashley asked as she raised her brow at the blue-eyed teen.</p>
<p>"What?" Shepard asked anxiously. "I—I'm just feeling a bit warm."</p>
<p>"Uh-huh," Ashley said skeptically. "Well, whatever. Let's go, Kaidan."</p>
<p>"Alright, Ash," Kaidan said as he gave Shepard an apologetic look, "See you inside, Shepard."</p>
<p>"Uh-huh," Shepard simply stated as he turned and walked to the edge of the driveway, ignoring the two cousins as they re-entered the house.</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>"Is your new friend a drug addict," Ashley asked quietly once they were inside the house.</p>
<p>"What? Why would you even think that?" Kaidan asked, confused by Ashley's train of thought.</p>
<p>"You don't find his behaviour even the least bit odd? The way he can't sit still, and the thing about feeling hot, those are all signs of drug abuse," Ashley explained, not wanting her cousin to get mixed up in anything that might hurt him.</p>
<p>"Ash, he's just nervous," Kaidan insisted. "I get that you don't like him, but you don't have to be so cynical about everything he does."</p>
<p>"<em>Sigh— </em> Alright. I'll <b>try </b>to lay off," Ashley promised. "You know I can't help it, right? I just want to keep you safe. I'm a protector," Ashley grinned as she laid her head on her cousin's shoulder.</p>
<p>"I know," Kaidan chuckled as he kissed the top of her head, "And I love you for it."</p>
<p>"Okay, everyone," Anderson called out, getting everyone's attention, "It's time for Hailey's birthday cake. Everybody gather 'round and let's sing Happy Birthday to my baby girl."</p>
<p>"Well, let's go join the birthday girl," Ashley said as she took Kaidan by the hand.</p>
<p>"Shouldn't we go get Shepard," Kaidan asked, not wanting his friend to miss anything.</p>
<p>"Kaidan, he's a big boy. He'll come in when he's ready. Now, let's go," Ashley said in annoyance, dragging Kaidan along with her.</p>
<p>The lights were dimmed as Kahlee brought in the birthday girl's cake. A beautiful creation, with shimmering pink and purple icing. It had intricate roses and a beautiful fairy topper that was designed to look just like the little angel, with six candles sparkling. It was a work of art.</p>
<p>"Wow, that is one beautiful cake," Ashley said with a grin. "It must have cost a fortune."</p>
<p>"They really went all out," Kaidan chuckled as they all joined in to sing Happy Birthday to the tiny six-year-old.</p>
<p>"Make a wish, Hailey," Ryan said with a grin as the little girl took a deep breath and blew the candles out.</p>
<p>"She looks like me," Hailey said happily, as she clapped her hands in delight.</p>
<p>"Do you like it, sweetheart," Kahlee asked as she gently stroked her daughter's long dark-brown hair.</p>
<p>"I love it," Kahlee giggled. "Thank you, Mommy! Thank you, Daddy!" </p>
<p>"You're welcome, baby girl," Anderson smiled as he kissed his daughter on the top of her head.</p>
<p>"Well, time to cut the cake," Kahlee announced as everyone gathered around the table.</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>Once the guests had enough cake and ice cream, it was time for Hailey to open her presents—</p>
<p>"Okay, gather 'round everyone," Kahlee instructed, "It's time for Hailey to open her gifts."</p>
<p>Hailey took her time opening gifts from her many friends. She received several beautiful dolls, a few lovely dresses, as well as a stuffed panda. All in all, it was a pretty good haul. All of which she was grateful for.</p>
<p>"Time for the family gifts," James said as he placed a massive box in front of the little girl.</p>
<p>"It's so big. Look, Mommy," Hailey said, eyes wide in wonder. </p>
<p>"I see that," Kahlee grinned as she encouraged her daughter to open the gift.</p>
<p>Hailey's eyes lit up when she saw what was underneath the wrapping. It was a large play castle, complete with figurines of elven fairies.</p>
<p>"Oh, I love it, Vega! Thank you so much," Hailey beamed as she hugged James as tight as she could.</p>
<p>"You are welcome, baby girl," James said as he hugged the tiny girl back.</p>
<p>"A castle, Jimmy? Really? You just had to make my gift look bad, didn't you," Garrus whined as he handed Hailey the gift he brought. "It's not as nice as what Jimmy got for you, but I hope you like it."</p>
<p>Hailey opened the box quickly and giggled at what she found— It was a beautiful makeup kit, complete with its own carrying case.</p>
<p>"You did good, Scars, I like it," Hailey said as she hugged Garrus and thanked him for the gift.</p>
<p>"Kaidan's up next," James announced as he handed Hailey the gift from Kaidan.</p>
<p>"I hope you like it," Kaidan said with a warm smile as the little girl unwrapped the gift.</p>
<p>"Look, Mommy, it's a tea set! It's so pretty," Hailey grinned, hugging the box to her chest.</p>
<p>"A brass tea set," Ashley chuckled, "Fancy."</p>
<p>"Yeah, I thought she would enjoy it," Kaidan grinned.</p>
<p>"Oh, I will! Thank you, Kaidan," Hailey said as she hugged him in thanks.</p>
<p>"You're welcome," Kaidan said softly.</p>
<p>"I guess we're up next," Ryan said as he called out for his best friend. "Okay, Baby Boy, let's show her what we got."</p>
<p>Ryan's smile faded when he noticed that Shepard was nowhere to be found. </p>
<p>"Where'd that boy go now," Anderson asked, shaking his head in disappointment.</p>
<p>"Uh— He wasn't feeling well earlier. He probably went to lie down for a bit," Ryan said, hoping to salvage the situation. "I'll go see if I can wake him."</p>
<p>"Don't bother," Ashley spoke without thinking.</p>
<p>"E-excuse me," Ryan asked, wondering what Ashley had meant.</p>
<p>"H—he's outside," Ashley said in embarrassment.</p>
<p>"Actually, I think I saw him going towards the washroom earlier," one of the other guests offered.</p>
<p>"See, he's probably in his room," Ryan insisted, "I'll go get him."</p>
<p>It only took Ryan a few seconds to get to Shepard's room. He took a deep breath and slowly opened the door. </p>
<p>"Goddammit, J," Ryan called out to an empty room.</p>
<p>He returned to the kitchen where he, quietly, asked to speak with Anderson in private.</p>
<p>Anderson's brow furrowed as a sense of dread filled him. "What's going on," Anderson asked once they were alone.</p>
<p>"J's gone," Ryan simply stated.</p>
<p>"What do you mean he's gone," Anderson asked in a serious tone, fear bubbling deep inside him at those words.</p>
<p>"I think he wandered off," Ryan explained, "He does that all the time when he's not feeling well. He always comes back. After the party, I promise, I'll go out and look for him."</p>
<p>"Hailey's going to be so upset. He really let her down this time. Just once, I wish that boy would think of somebody other than himself," Anderson snapped, immediately regretting the words.</p>
<p>Ryan visibly paled, biting his tongue, before walking past Anderson and making his way to the kitchen, refusing to comment on Anderson's harsh words.</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>"Hailey, I'll tell you what, why don't I video you opening the gifts J and I got you, and we'll watch it with Baby Boy later, eh," Ryan suggested. </p>
<p>"Where's Loco? Didn't he want to be here," Hailey asked with tears in her light-grey eyes.</p>
<p>Ryan sighed hard as he struggled to explain Shepard's absence. "Of course he did, but he wasn't feeling well and had to leave for a while. You know he loves you, don't you, Hailey?"</p>
<p>"I guess so," Hailey shrugged as she wiped her eyes.</p>
<p>"Let's open some more gifts, yeah," Ryan said as he handed her a large box. "Here. J and I got you a whole bunch of stuff. We hope you like what we got you."</p>
<p>Hailey slowly opened the box, and a smile slowly crossed her face. "Skates— you and Loco got me skates. Thank you, Ryan. I always wanted to skate with you and Loco."</p>
<p>"And you will— this Monday, we're gonna take you skating. We even got you some special gear. I hope you like it," Ryan said as he handed the little girl another large box.</p>
<p>The box contained a tiny set of protective hockey gear, the perfect size for Hailey.</p>
<p>"Look, Mommy! I'm gonna get to play hockey with Ryan and Loco," Hailey said, the smile returning to her face as she showed her mother the tiny chest protector.</p>
<p>"That's great, baby," Kahlee said, a melancholic smile on her face.</p>
<p>"Well, that only leaves one more gift," Anderson called out as he picked his daughter up and carried her to the side door, making sure to invite the guests to join them.</p>
<p>Once everyone was in the garage, Anderson had Hailey pull a sheet off of a very large gift.</p>
<p>Hailey's eyes lit up as she took in the sight of her brand new bike. </p>
<p>"A bike! It's just what I wanted! Thank you, Daddy," Hailey squealed in delight as she hugged her father, kissing him on the cheek, before doing the same to her mother. "Thank you, Mommy."</p>
<p>"You're welcome, baby," Kahlee said as she watched her daughter closely, happy to see the joy in her light-grey eyes.</p>
<p>"Can I ride it now," Hailey asked, eager and excited to try out her new bike.</p>
<p>"I don't see why not," Anderson chuckled as he opened the garage door.</p>
<p>The entire group fell silent at the scene before them— Shepard was staggering in the middle of the road as if he were drunk. He was shirtless and shaking as if he were freezing.</p>
<p>"J!" Ryan called out as he quickly ran to his Baby Boy's side. "Baby Boy, what's wrong? Talk to me, eh."</p>
<p>"They're gonna hurt me, Ryan," Shepard whispered.</p>
<p>"Who? Who's going to hurt you," Ryan asked, hoping to calm his anxious friend.</p>
<p>"I—I don't know," Shepard admitted.</p>
<p>"Okay. I won't let anyone hurt you. I promise you, Baby Boy," Ryan said. "J, where's your shirt?"</p>
<p>"I—it's too hot, Ryan. I can't breathe," Shepard explained as he started unbuttoning his jeans.</p>
<p>"No, J. Don't do that," Ryan pleaded as he tried to re-button Shepard's jeans.</p>
<p>"They're all looking at me, Ryan," Shepard sobbed, shaking violently, as he noticed the onlookers.</p>
<p>"Calm down, J," Ryan whispered, holding the boy tight, taking note of how hot Shepard's body felt and how incredibly fast his young heart was beating. 'What the fuck has he been doing? His heart feels like it's gonna explode!'</p>
<p>"Baby Boy, what have you been doing? You're burning up," Ryan asked anxiously.</p>
<p>"I—I don't know. I had to get away," Shepard said truthfully, "I ain't right, Ryan. Something's fucking wrong with me, and I don't know what it is."</p>
<p>"Are you seeing things or hearing things, maybe," Ryan asked, trying his best to help his fragile friend, "Did you take anything?"</p>
<p>"NO, goddammit! I ain't seeing shit, and I ain't on drugs. I just FEEL fucking wrong! I can't explain it, Ryan," Shepard admitted.</p>
<p>"Okay. I think you need to sleep. Let's get you to the house," Ryan said as he tried to lead the young blonde towards the house.</p>
<p>"No! They're all staring at me, Ryan! KAIDAN is staring at me. I don't want them to see me no more," Shepard pleaded.</p>
<p>"Okay," Ryan whispered as he touched his forehead to Shepard's. "I'll be right back."</p>
<p>"Don't leave me, Ryan," Shepard cried.</p>
<p>"I'm just going a few steps," Ryan promised before calling out, "Can someone please bring me a sheet from the house?"</p>
<p>"Why?" James asked in confusion.</p>
<p>"Don't fucking ask why! Just get me a goddamn sheet," Ryan yelled, quickly losing patience with the onlookers. "The rest of you can go back into the house now."</p>
<p>It didn't take James long to return with a sheet. "Is he okay," James asked, concern evident on his face.</p>
<p>"I'm not sure," Ryan answered truthfully. "Do you think you can get those people to go back into the house?"</p>
<p>"Yeah, most of them are getting ready to leave."</p>
<p>"I wish they'd hurry the fuck up," Ryan admitted.</p>
<p>"Yeah, you and me both," James agreed as he returned to the house.</p>
<p>Ryan carefully wrapped the sheet around his friend's shivering body.</p>
<p>"Are you cold, Baby Boy," Ryan asked as he gently rubbed the boy's back.</p>
<p>"No," Shepard explained, "I just can't stop shaking. My head hurts, Ryan."</p>
<p>Ryan waited patiently, doing everything he could to try and relax the blue-eyed teen— hoping the guests would hurry and leave.</p>
<p>"Fuck this," Ryan cursed as Shepard began to shake even more. "I won't let them see you, J, but we need to get you home, okay."</p>
<p>Shepard's brow furrowed in contemplation. "Okay," Shepard mumbled as he allowed Ryan to lead him towards the house.</p>
<p>Ryan was careful, making certain that Shepard was well-covered as they passed the onlookers and finally made their way into the house.</p>
<p>"Do you still believe he isn't doing drugs," Ashley asked, causing Kaidan to snap at her.</p>
<p>"Now's not the time, Ash," Kaidan said, obviously worried for his friend, as he took his phone from his pocket. "I'm calling my mom. She can come, pick us up."</p>
<p>"Good. I think I've had enough for today," Ashley admitted as she and Kaidan waited for their ride.</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>"We're here, Baby Boy— safe in your room," Ryan insisted as he removed the sheet from Shepard's body.</p>
<p>"I'm burning up," Shepard whined as he took off the remainder of his clothes until he was totally naked.</p>
<p>"Go ahead and get into bed," Ryan instructed. "I'll go get you something to drink."</p>
<p>Shepard immediately grabbed Ryan's arm. "Don't leave me, Ryan."</p>
<p>"Okay, J, I'll stay," Ryan promised as he spread the sheet over Shepard's naked body.</p>
<p>"I don't feel right," Shepard softly whispered.</p>
<p>"Is it a seizure, Baby Boy," Ryan asked, knowing how bad they could make Shepard feel.</p>
<p>"I don't know. I ain't never felt this strange before," Shepard admitted.</p>
<p>"Just tell me what to do," Ryan begged, "'Cause I am totally lost here, Baby Boy."</p>
<p>"Will you lay with me for a while," the blue-eyed teen asked nervously.</p>
<p>"Sure," Ryan said as he crawled beside the young blonde. "Is that better, J?"</p>
<p>"Uh-huh," came Shepard's quick reply.</p>
<p>Everything was quiet when Anderson and Kahlee checked in to see how their son was doing.</p>
<p>"Is he okay," Kahlee asked quietly.</p>
<p>"I guess so. He's sleeping sound enough," Ryan replied. </p>
<p>"It's time for his medication," Kahlee said as she glanced at the clock on Shepard's nightstand.</p>
<p>"I'll get it," Anderson said, wanting nothing more than to escape the tension in the room.</p>
<p>"Do you have any idea what's going on with him," Kahlee asked softly.</p>
<p>"No, I really don't. I've never seen this before. He's not having a break, I'm sure of that— but he <b>is</b> sick. I don't know the cause, though," Ryan admitted.</p>
<p>"I think he needs stronger medication," Kahlee said, just as Anderson returned with their son's much-needed dosage.</p>
<p>"I think you're right about that," Anderson agreed as he handed Ryan the medication along with a glass of water.</p>
<p>"Baby Boy, wake up. I need you to take your medicine," Ryan coaxed until he finally got the groggy boy to take his dose. "There's a good boy."</p>
<p>Ryan handed Anderson the glass, but still refused to speak to the man. "Let us know if anything changes," Anderson instructed as he and Kahlee exited the room.</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>Shepard slept soundly until around two in the morning when Ryan was awakened by a violent jerk.</p>
<p>Ryan woke with a start as he bolted upright in the bed, trying his best to focus as Shepard seized violently on the bed. </p>
<p>"Fuck! I'm here, Baby Boy. You're gonna be okay," Ryan said anxiously, as he began timing the seizure. </p>
<p>Ryan had seen Shepard seize many times before, but this one was different. He had never seen a more violent seizure, and it scared the hell out of him.</p>
<p>"Hey, I need a little help in here," Ryan screamed, trying his best to wake Shepard's parents.</p>
<p>A few minutes later Shepard's bedroom door opened—</p>
<p>"Oh, my God," Kahlee gasped as she moved to stroke her son's sweat-soaked hair.</p>
<p>"Shepard, Son, it's Dad. We're here, Son," Anderson called out, wanting his son to know he was not alone.</p>
<p>Shepard's body finally stopped seizing, and Ryan quickly looked at the clock to see how long it had lasted.</p>
<p>"Fuck!" Ryan cursed as he looked towards Shepard's parents with a look of worry on his face. "I need you to dial 911. J's seizure was over five minutes."</p>
<p>Kahlee immediately grabbed the phone and made the call. As she was giving them the details, Shepard seized yet again, causing Kahlee to break down crying.</p>
<p>"Goddammit," Ryan whispered as he began to time the latest seizure.</p>
<p>This one only lasted around two minutes, much to the relief of everyone in the room. The relief turned to anxiety as they all patiently waited for the blue-eyed teen to recover. Twelve minutes later, Shepard finally began to stir. </p>
<p>"Son, are you okay," Anderson asked as he gently stroked his son's dark-blonde hair.</p>
<p>"Tired," Shepard mumbled as he tried to sit up. </p>
<p>"Whoa, Baby Boy, not so fast," Ryan scolded as he eased the young blonde onto his back.</p>
<p>"I don't feel good," Shepard admitted just as the EMTs arrived.</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>Once Shepard was assessed by the EMTs, they quickly recommended that the boy be taken to the emergency room for evaluation. </p>
<p>"I—I'll be fine in a minute," Shepard insisted, dreading another hospital stay.</p>
<p>"John, honey, they need to find out why you're seizing so much. You already admitted to not feeling well," Kahlee insisted.</p>
<p>"I ain't going to no goddamn hospital! I just got out. I don't wanna go through no more fucking tests," Shepard screamed.</p>
<p>"That's enough! Don't yell at your mother. I'm so goddamn sick of your selfish attitude! Try thinking of others for once in your goddamn life. Think of your mother and how she feels. She's only trying to help. So, stop acting like an ungrateful brat and cooperate for once," Anderson yelled, causing Kahlee to gasp in shock and Ryan to snap.</p>
<p>"It's not his fault! He's sick, goddammit! You ever stop to think that maybe he's scared. His own body is trying to fucking kill him, and he can't control it. So stop fucking yelling at him and talk to him like a goddamn person!" Ryan yelled, causing Shepard to burst into tears.</p>
<p>"Just let me die. Please, just let me go," Shepard cried, "All I ever do is cause trouble. I don't wanna do it no more. I love you, Ryan, but I love my mom and dad too, and I ain't doing nothin' but causing them pain. I'm tired, so let me go."</p>
<p>The EMTs stood in shocked silence as they awaited a decision.</p>
<p>Anderson grabbed his son and held him as tight as he could. "I'm sorry, Son. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it," Anderson pleaded as tears streamed down his face. "I love you, so please, please let us help you. I'm begging you."</p>
<p>"Please, Daddy, let me go," Shepard whimpered.</p>
<p>"No, Son. I can't. I'm sorry," Anderson said as he wiped the tears from his son's sad blue eyes. "Go ahead and take him. Sedate him if you have to. I'll sign any forms that are needed."</p>
<p>"David," Kahlee called out, unsure of what was best for her son.</p>
<p>"Kahlee, if we don't do this, he'll die," Anderson stated plainly, "You heard him, Kahlee. He's sick, and he needs help. I want him to live."</p>
<p>"O—okay," Kahlee finally agreed. "Please, sweetheart, don't fight the EMTs. Let them help you."</p>
<p>"Please, don't make me go back," Shepard pleaded as one of the EMTs quickly sedated the young blonde. "R—Ryan, don't leave me alone. I don't wanna die alone."</p>
<p>"Never, Baby Boy. I'll never leave you. I promise you, I won't," Ryan said as he wiped the tears from his own eyes. "But you're not gonna die, J. I'll be right there when you wake up."</p>
<p>"T—thank you—" Shepard mumbled as he slowly drifted into unconsciousness.</p>
<p>"I'd like to ride with him too," Ryan requested. "Please. I'm sorry for what I said, so, please, let me go with him."</p>
<p>"Everything you said was true, son," Anderson admitted as he continued to watch his son closely. "There's no reason to apologize for it."</p>
<p>"We're ready to move him," the EMT announced as they finished securing the unstable blonde.</p>
<p>"I'd like for Ryan to ride along as well. If that's alright with you," Anderson requested, hoping they would allow it.</p>
<p>"That's fine," the EMT smiled, "We'll get him there ASAP."</p>
<p>"Thank you," Anderson nodded as he turned his attention to Kahlee, "Once you get a sitter for Hailey, you can follow us. I love you."</p>
<p>"I love you too, David," Kahlee whispered as she kissed him goodbye. "Make sure they take care of our son."</p>
<p>"Will do," Anderson promised as he followed Ryan and the EMTs out of the house.</p>
<p>"God, please let John be okay," Kahlee prayed as she watched the ambulance pull out of the driveway.</p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next Chapter:  Shepard gets a diagnosis—</p>
<p>I hope you're enjoying it so far. Thanks for reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Diagnosis</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Shepard gets diagnosed and has lunch with his father.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>***WARNING***<br/>SUICIDAL THOUGHTS/FATALISTIC IDEALS</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Vancouver General, five days later—</b>
</p>
<p>"We have adjusted your son's seizure medication. With this regimen, he should be back to normal soon. It's a stronger drug, but so far, he's tolerated it well, with no visible side-effects. He's already showing great improvement," Shepard's neurologist, Doctor Bhatia, explained as he handed Anderson a folder, "This folder contains all the pertinent information about the regimen, as well as any follow-up information available. Are there any questions?"</p>
<p>"That seizure was so much more violent than his usual ones. Is that what my son has to live with now? Will this be his new normal?" Kahlee asked with obvious concern for her child.</p>
<p>"Sadly, we can't be 100% sure. But, my professional opinion is:  No, this won't become a normal occurrence for him. This seizure was rare because it started in the temporal lobe area of the brain before spreading to the rest of his brain, causing the massive grand mal seizure.  Usually, Shepard's seizures begin in the frontal lobe, so this was quite a new experience for him— and not a very pleasant one," Doctor Bhatia replied confidently.</p>
<p>"Why did the seizure start in his temporal lobe? What caused it?" Kahlee asked, desperate to understand the circumstances of her son's illness.</p>
<p>"The seizure started there because of the lingering trauma caused by the mild skull fracture he experienced just last month," Doctor Bhatia explained, "His brain hasn't fully healed. There was a small insignificant bleed that wasn't present on the last set of CT and MRI scans. The bleed caused a bit of excess pressure to be placed on his temporal lobe. Thus, throwing him into a massive seizure. The bleeding has stopped on its own, however, and he's no longer showing any signs of distress."</p>
<p>"I still don't understand the whole bleed thing. When they told us he had a bleed, I was in shock. I just don't understand how that's possible. It's been over a month now— isn't that way too long to have an undetected bleed without showing any debilitating symptoms. He never even complained of a headache," Anderson said, still confused by the diagnosis.</p>
<p>"I believe the bleed was recent. It most likely started about a week or so ago. He could have accidentally hit his head without noticing the damage, or he may have just over-exerted himself, causing the severely bruised tissue to bleed," Doctor Bhatia speculated. </p>
<p>"How long before his brain fully heals," Kahlee asked anxiously.</p>
<p>"Given his ability to heal quickly, I would say three to four months," Doctor Bhatia informed her.</p>
<p>"Once he's fully healed, what are the chances he'll grow out of the seizures? Will they ever end completely?" Anderson asked, hoping for a light at the end of the tunnel.</p>
<p>"He could, but I seriously doubt it," the neurologist replied truthfully, "I don't think he'll experience them every day. In fact, he may go an entire year without a single seizure— providing he takes his medication and avoids hits to the left side of his head, of course."</p>
<p>"Why the left side," Anderson asked curiously.</p>
<p>"That seems to be where most of the damage is. He has a history of injury to that side of his head, leaving him vulnerable to concussion, bleeding, and seizure," Doctor Bhatia explained.</p>
<p>"Okay, so basically, if he stays on his medication, everything will go back to normal, no more ultra-violent seizures," Kahlee asked, hoping for the best.</p>
<p>"Not exactly," the neurologist said, shaking his head for emphasis, "The likeliness of multiple temporal lobe seizures is highly unlikely. In fact, they would be rare in Shepard's case. However, I cannot guarantee a zero probability— there <b>is </b>always a small chance that he'll experience other major seizures within his lifetime. There's also the possibility of memory issues. There's a good chance that he'll have to be reminded to do things— simple things, like remembering to take his medication, or do his homework. He may also need help remembering appointments— things of that nature. Driving is also out of the question for at least six months. After that, he must be seizure-free for at least six weeks after every seizure in order to drive again."</p>
<p>"What about hockey? Can he play?" Anderson asked nervously, knowing how important hockey was to his son.</p>
<p>"That would be up to the team, but I wouldn't allow it unless he was seizure-free for at least three months. This would be a very good sign that his brain has healed and that his medication is working beautifully," Doctor Bhatia explained. </p>
<p>"We understand," Anderson nodded as he squeezed Kahlee's hand.</p>
<p>"When can we take him home?" Kahlee asked, eager for their son's return.</p>
<p>"Hopefully, he'll be released today," Doctor Bhatia assured them. "He's currently being examined by Doctor Smith. Once he has completed his evaluation and gives us the green light, Shepard will be discharged."</p>
<p>"Thank you so much for explaining things," Anderson said in appreciation.</p>
<p>"Just doing my job," Doctor Bhatia said with a warm smile, "I'd like to see Shepard for a follow-up in two weeks, then I'd like to see him regularly, once every three months, at the very least."</p>
<p>"We'll make sure he keeps his appointment," Kahlee promised as she shook the man's hand. "We'll see you soon, I guess. Thank you again for explaining everything."</p>
<p>"No problem," Doctor Bhatia smiled as he led the couple to the door. "Good luck."</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>"How are you feeling today?" Doctor Smith asked as he continued to observe his nervous young patient.</p>
<p>"Better," Shepard said quietly, "I don't feel wrong no more. That weird feeling's gone."</p>
<p>"That's good. I'm glad to hear that everything's returning to normal. You still seem nervous, though. Is something bothering you?" The doctor asked, hoping the blue-eyed teen would open up.</p>
<p>"N-no, not really," Shepard mumbled, doing his best to avoid the doctor's gaze.</p>
<p>"I see. Can you tell me what happened before the seizure?" Doctor Smith asked, interested in every detail.</p>
<p>"I fucking ruined my six-year-old baby sister's birthday! I lost my goddamn shit in front of the ENTIRE group. Do you know how fucking traumatizing that could be for Hailey? I guarantee over half the parents there thought I was tripping balls— high as fuck. I mean, would you want your kid coming around someone like me? Hailey might lose some of her friends, all because of me! That's more than enough to stress out the entire goddamn family right there," Shepard explained, angry at himself for ruining Hailey's special day. </p>
<p>"You do realize that wasn't your fault? You were very sick. There was no way you could have stopped what happened," Doctor Smith explained calmly. "I'm sure Hailey understands that."</p>
<p>"Maybe," Shepard whispered as he glanced out the window.</p>
<p>"When you were admitted, your father signed a document stating that you may be suicidal. Are you still having those feelings?" Doctor Smith softly asked.</p>
<p>Shepard sighed as he rubbed his hand over his face in annoyance. "I wasn't suicidal. Dad just misunderstood what I was trying to say."</p>
<p>"So, you didn't want to die," Doctor Smith asked curiously. </p>
<p>"No— I mean, for a long time, I really wanted to die. When I lost Aaron, I wanted to go with him. I was lost here without him. Hell, I still am— but I keep going. Besides, Aaron would be pissed if I ended it, so— No, I ain't suicidal," the young blonde explained.</p>
<p>"It's great that you're moving ahead for Aaron, but you need to move ahead for yourself as well— live a little for you, not just for Aaron's memory. Trust me, we all miss him," Doctor Smith replied, hoping his patient would take his words to heart.</p>
<p>"Yeah— Look, I don't really want to talk about Aaron. This shit had nothing to do with him. Like I said, my dad just misunderstood my words." Shepard insisted, wanting to drop the subject.</p>
<p>"Fair enough. What exactly did you say to your father?" Doctor Smith asked, trying his best to get to the heart of the matter.</p>
<p>"I told him to let me go— to let me die," Shepard admitted truthfully, his sapphire eyes serious.</p>
<p>"And you don't think that's a bit suicidal," Doctor Smith chuckled.</p>
<p>"It ain't— it's more fatalistic than anything," the young blonde replied.</p>
<p>"What made you say those words to him? What triggered your reaction," Doctor Smith asked, trying to uncover the underlying issue.</p>
<p>Shepard shrugged, "Hell if I know. I just said what I felt. He and Mom would be better off if they'd just let me go— just let the seizures take me, or my mental illness— whichever comes first. When I forget who and where I am, it would be best if they just let me fade away. That way, I don't trouble them no more."</p>
<p>"What makes you think you're troubling them?" Doctor Smith asked, furrowing his brow in confusion.</p>
<p>"You know what a great guy my dad is, right? I mean, he's a really nice guy, but he don't lie. He's sick of the way I am. He's tired— and as much as I know he loves me, I know that sometimes he just don't want me around no more," Shepard sadly explained. "I don't blame him, though. I mean, look at him— he looks so fucking worn down. All the constant worrying, and the constant pain I put him and Mom through,  it's starting to show, and they need a goddamn break. But as long as I'm alive, they'll never get one— they'll constantly worry."</p>
<p>"What exactly did your father say?" Doctor Smith inquired.</p>
<p>"I didn't wanna go to the hospital. I spent a month here already, so I didn't want to be here. I lashed out and yelled at Mom. I wasn't really yelling at <b>her</b>, I was yelling at everybody, but Dad thought I was disrespecting Mom, and I probably was. Anyway, he said I was being an ungrateful brat, and that, just once, he wanted me to stop being selfish and to think of somebody other than myself. And he was right— but I was scared. I didn't want to die in a hospital. Ryan went off on Dad— told him to stop yelling at me. I could tell how tired my dad was, and I couldn't take it no more. So, I asked Dad to let me die. See, I'm not suicidal. I'm just tired of fighting the inevitable," Shepard replied truthfully.</p>
<p>"What was your father's reaction to this?" Doctor Smith gently asked.</p>
<p>"He, uh, he hugged me— he hugged me tight and apologized to me. He told me he loved me and that he couldn't just let me go. That's when he gave the EMTs permission to sedate me. When I woke up, I was here."</p>
<p>"It sounds like you mean more to your parents than you think," the doctor suggested, causing Shepard to roll his eyes in annoyance.</p>
<p>"I fucking <b>know </b>they love me. That was never in question. But the sad truth is, they would be better off without me, but they refuse to let me go. I know I mean a lot to 'em. It's just not fair for 'em to keep suffering because of me," Shepard explained.</p>
<p>"You need to look at things from a different perspective. Put yourself in their place for a minute. Let's say you had a son with the exact same issues as you— would you be willing to let him go? Would you be willing to give up on him?" Doctor Smith asked curiously.</p>
<p>"Well— I don't know— probably not," the young blonde admitted.</p>
<p>"Then you understand how your parents feel," Doctor Smith stated with a soft smile.</p>
<p>"I—I guess," Shepard said with a nod.</p>
<p>"You said you were tired of fighting the inevitable. The inevitable, being death. Why do you feel as if your death is inevitable?" </p>
<p>"Is that a serious question," Shepard laughed bitterly. "Look at my track record for fuck's sake. It don't take a genius to see how fucked up I am. I'm one goddamn seizure away from never waking up. If that don't get me, my mental health will. Old age ain't lookin' very likely for me."</p>
<p>"That's a very pessimistic attitude you have there, young man," Doctor Smith chuckled, shaking his head in amusement.</p>
<p>"Yeah, well— I'm a realist," Shepard grinned.</p>
<p>"A fatalist, you mean. I think you need to start dating more," Doctor Smith suggested with a grin.</p>
<p>"I don't need to date," Shepard said with a shrug.</p>
<p>"I think your outlook would be drastically different if you weren't so lonely," the doctor said plainly.</p>
<p>"But I ain't lonely. I got laid right before I got sick," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p>
<p>"Shepard, you can have sex every day and still be lonely. You know that. In fact, you have mentioned several times in the past how you loved sex, but hated how it never seemed to help with your loneliness," Doctor Smith reminded his patient.</p>
<p>"Okay, fine! I'm lonely. So fucking what? I've been lonely most of my goddamn life. I'm used to it," Shepard admitted, hating how right the man was, "It ain't my fault he don't want me!"</p>
<p>"Who's 'he'?"</p>
<p>"What?" Shepard asked, confused by the question.</p>
<p>"You said it wasn't your fault that <b>he</b> doesn't want you. Who's 'he'?" Doctor Smith asked in a firm tone.</p>
<p>"No one. Can we just forget I said it?" Shepard shrugged as he turned his gaze towards the window.</p>
<p>"It's Kaidan, isn't it?" Doctor Smith asked with a sympathetic look.</p>
<p>"Why the fuck did you ask if you already knew the goddamn answer," Shepard pouted as he nervously bounced his knee.</p>
<p>"I have to be sure. Besides, you need to open up more— be more honest with me. It would make you feel better and make my job much easier," Doctor Smith said with a smile.</p>
<p>"I hate when you make me tell you shit," Shepard said in annoyance.</p>
<p>Doctor Smith laughed a bit. "I know. So, about Kaidan—"</p>
<p>"What about him?" Shepard asked anxiously.</p>
<p>"What makes you think he's lost interest in you?" Doctor Smith asked simply.</p>
<p>"Do I really have to say?" Shepard whined.</p>
<p>"No. You don't <b>have</b> to say anything, but you're going to because you <b>want </b>to," Doctor Smith said with a smug look on his face.</p>
<p>"I fucking hate you sometimes," Shepard said with a sigh before speaking again, "You know me and Kaidan kinda kissed once— and it was good. I could've sworn that he liked it too. I mean, he sure as hell seemed to like it. Then, when that fucking car hit me, he was there for me, helping me through it all. And so, one day, after one of my therapy sessions, I leaned in to kiss him."</p>
<p>"And—"</p>
<p>"And— he turned his friggin' head. He obviously didn't want to kiss me again," Shepard explained with a sad look on his face. "I don't know why, but he don't want me."</p>
<p>"Perhaps he had a good reason to pull away," Doctor Smith suggested. "Have you spoken to him about it?" </p>
<p>"What? No! What the hell would I say?" Shepard asked in annoyance.</p>
<p>Doctor Smith couldn't help but shake his head at the young blonde. "Have you spoken to him since the incident?"</p>
<p>"Yeah, of course," Shepard said quickly. "I mean, we're still friends. We just don't talk as much as we used to."</p>
<p>"I see. Do you still hang out together?" Doctor Smith asked, already knowing the answer.</p>
<p>"No, not really," Shepard admitted, "But we never really hung out to begin with— not until my accident anyway. Even then, he was probably just trying to help me out. He likes to help people."</p>
<p>"How often did you see him during your hospitalization?" Doctor Smith asked curiously.</p>
<p>"Um— Every day, I guess," Shepard replied truthfully, "He didn't talk as much after I tried to kiss him though. I think maybe he realized he was straight."</p>
<p>"Hn. Perhaps he did," Doctor Smith said as he continued to observe Shepard. "Or— perhaps he felt you needed time to heal before you jumped into a relationship. You've been through a lot this year, after all."</p>
<p>"Yeah— So, what do you suggest I do? Call him up and ask him out, 'cause, fuck that, I ain't doing it. If he wants more than friendship, he can be the one to make the first goddamn move," Shepard insisted.</p>
<p>"You are the most stubborn person I have ever met," the doctor laughed in both amusement and frustration. "I suggest you <b>talk </b>to Kaidan. It doesn't have to be about anything serious, just some friendly banter— anything to let him know that you enjoy his company."</p>
<p>"I'll talk to him when I see him, but I ain't asking him out for a chat," Shepard warned, "I don't do that shit. It's too fuckin' awkward and weird."</p>
<p>"How is asking him out for a chat awkward?" Doctor Smith asked, amused by Shepard's logic.</p>
<p>"It just is," Shepard insisted, "If he ain't interested, he'll think I can't take a goddamn hint, and it'll be awkward as fuck. So, no, thank you."</p>
<p>"Very well. I won't press the issue. How are you sleeping?" Doctor Smith asked, going into full doctor mode. </p>
<p>"Okay, I guess," Shepard shrugged.</p>
<p>"And your mood? Have you had any periods of mania lately?"</p>
<p>"Well, I tried to strip naked in the goddamn street, but apparently that was because of that friggin' bleed," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p>
<p>"No other episodes I should know about?" Doctor Smith asked while taking notes.</p>
<p>"Nah. Not really," Shepard said in a bored tone. "I was feeling fine until last Saturday."</p>
<p>"That's good," Doctor Smith smiled as he stopped taking notes. "As you know, all too well, stress often triggers episodes in schizoaffective patients, and you have been under a tremendous amount of stress lately."</p>
<p>"So, you're saying I'm fucked," Shepard groaned.</p>
<p>"Well, yes and no. I think you're on your way to having some issues. But, on the bright side, we know they're coming, so we can be vigilant and take extra precautions. The minute you start feeling off, you need to call me ASAP. If we catch it early, we can minimize your pain and suffering as well as your hospitalization time," Doctor Smith explained.</p>
<p>"Hospitalization? I really am fucked," Shepard said as he rubbed his face with both hands. "Can't I avoid that part, altogether."</p>
<p>"Probably not. You'll need to be hospitalized in order to be monitored," Doctor Smith replied sympathetically, "It sucks— I know— but I promise, if we catch it early enough, you'll only be hospitalized for a few days."</p>
<p>"Yeah? Well, thanks for the heads-up, I guess," the blue-eyed teen said with a shrug. "You got a time estimate for me?"</p>
<p>"Sorry. There's no way of knowing for certain. Every case is different. But considering all that you've been through lately, as well as your medical history, I wouldn't be surprised if you called me within the next few weeks," Doctor Smith said truthfully. </p>
<p>"Will you do me a favour?" Shepard asked quietly.</p>
<p>"Hn?"</p>
<p>"Will you keep this between us? Please don't tell my parents— I worry them enough. I promise I'll call when I start feeling off. I'll even admit myself, just please, don't tell my parents," Shepard pleaded with tears in his sapphire-blue eyes.</p>
<p>"<em>Sigh— </em>Alright. I won't tell them anything. You've proven yourself to be quite capable of dealing with your own medical issues," Doctor Smith agreed as he offered his hand to Shepard.</p>
<p>Shepard smiled as he shook the man's hand. "Thanks. I appreciate it."</p>
<p>"I'm continuing your regimen. I may have to increase the dosage soon, but for now, everything looks good. I'll tell them you're free to go home," Doctor Smith said with a grin.</p>
<p>"Thank fuck! I hate this goddamn place," Shepard said, relieved to be going home. "I guess I'll see you soon, Doctor Smith."</p>
<p>"Shepard, call me Michael."</p>
<p>"Okay. I guess I'll see you soon, Michael," Shepard said with a chuckle as he made his way back to his hospital room.</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>"Are you ready to go home, Son," Anderson asked as he rubbed his son's back gently.</p>
<p>"Where's Mom," Shepard asked, his brow furrowed in confusion. "She was here earlier."</p>
<p>"She had some errands to run," Anderson explained, "Besides, I told her I wanted to be the one to drive you home."</p>
<p>"Oh," Shepard said in a surprised tone, "That's cool, I guess."</p>
<p>"Do you have everything? Don't forget your phone and your MP3 player," Anderson reminded, knowing how forgetful his son could be.</p>
<p>"Thanks for reminding me. I probably would have left them," Shepard admitted anxiously, as he followed his father out of the building.</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>"Do you want to stop and get something to eat while we wait for your prescriptions," Anderson asked nervously.</p>
<p>"Uh— Sure, that's fine," Shepard answered quietly, unsure what to make of his father's nervousness.</p>
<p><em> 'Is he gonna throw us away like all the others?' </em> The voice asked anxiously. <em> 'That ain't really fair if he is. You couldn't help what happened. You had a fucking bleed for chrissakes.' </em></p>
<p>'Daddy wouldn't do that. So, stop worrying about shit like that. There's probably something else wrong with my brain, and they ain't told me yet,' Shepard thought anxiously.</p>
<p>"SHEPARD!" Anderson called out loudly. </p>
<p>"Huh?" Shepard asked as he finally snapped back to reality. </p>
<p>"Don't scare me like that, Son. I thought you were about to have another seizure," Anderson said anxiously, as he touched the side of his son's face.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry, Dad," Shepard apologized, feeling guilty when he saw the worried look on his father's face.</p>
<p>"It's alright. Where do you want to eat?" Anderson asked again, now that he had his son's attention.</p>
<p>"Anywhere's fine," Shepard assured his father as he leaned his head against the window.</p>
<p>"How about some Japanese food? You like sushi, don't you?" Anderson asked with a sad smile.</p>
<p>"Uh— Dunno, I ain't never tried it before," Shepard admitted, "But it sounds good. Sushi's fine."</p>
<p>"Sushi it is," Anderson said with an amused chuckle, squeezing his son's hand once, before pulling into the restaurant parking lot.</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>Shepard was amazed at the beauty of the food placed before him. He spent several seconds just staring at the plates, causing his father to smile fondly.</p>
<p>"It's almost too pretty to eat," Shepard whispered as he rubbed his chopsticks together in preparation.</p>
<p>"It tastes as good as it looks," Anderson assured him with a grin.</p>
<p>"Dad, can you show me how to eat this? There's so much here. What do I do?" Shepard asked as he watched his father in fascination.</p>
<p>"Just do as I do. Oh— and be careful with the green stuff. It's wasabi, and it's hot as hell," Anderson warned as he watched his son take his first bite.</p>
<p>"It's really good. I fucking love it," Shepard said with a huge smile on his face.</p>
<p>"I'm glad you like it, Son. Sushi's good for your brain. It helps to heal the damage," Anderson smiled as he continued to enjoy his meal.</p>
<p>Towards the end of the meal, Anderson noticed his son starting to become very lethargic.</p>
<p>"Are you getting tired, Son," Anderson asked anxiously.</p>
<p>"A little," Shepard admitted as he quietly put down his chopsticks.</p>
<p>"Before we head out, there's, uh, there are some things we need to talk about," Anderson said nervously, as he took his son's hand in his.</p>
<p>"I know I let you down, and I'm so sorry. I'll do better, I promise. And everything you said was true. I'm selfish— but I'll try to think of others more," Shepard said as he started to nervously bounce his knee.</p>
<p>"Son, listen to me, <b>you</b> <b>are not selfish</b>. I was tired, and I took it out on you. So, please don't give it a second thought. You just be you, and don't worry about anything else," Anderson said sincerely.</p>
<p>"Okay— Is something wrong with me, Daddy?" Shepard asked anxiously.</p>
<p>"Yes, and no. The doctor said that you might have some trouble remembering things from now on— simple things, like your medication, or your homework, appointments— things like that," Anderson explained.</p>
<p>"Daddy, I've always been like that. I can't even remember what day of the week it is. I'll be okay," Shepard assured his father.</p>
<p>"Son, the seizures aren't ever going to completely stop," Anderson informed his son in a melancholic voice.</p>
<p>"They told me that these goddamn things would stop. They promised me, Dad," Shepard said anxiously with tears in his eyes.</p>
<p>"That was before the skull fracture," Anderson explained, "You have more damage now. The good news is that you can control them with medication. You'll still have them, but not very often. You may even go a year or more without one."</p>
<p>"Really," Shepard asked, feeling a little better about the situation. "And I won't have no more of the big ones?"</p>
<p>"Well, there's a chance that you'll have other big ones, but not many," Anderson explained.</p>
<p>"I guess I can handle that," Shepard said quietly. "Thanks for telling me."</p>
<p>"Son, you can't drive for six months. Then, after that, you have to be seizure-free for six weeks after an attack before you're allowed to drive again," Anderson explained slowly.</p>
<p>"Six months," Shepard repeated. "I can't ride my bike for six months. What about hockey? The season starts in four months, Dad. I can't miss it."</p>
<p>"It's up to the team, but your doctor says that as long as you're seizure-free for three months, you're good to go," Anderson assured his anxious son. "That gives you a month for the medicine to kick in."</p>
<p>"Thank god," Shepard said with a yawn. "I'm really tired, Dad. Can we go home now?" Shepard asked anxiously.</p>
<p>"We still have to pick up your medication, remember? But we'll go straight home after. I promise," Anderson said as he led his son to the car.</p>
<p>"Do you mind if I sleep on the way home?" Shepard asked as he slowly buckled his seatbelt.</p>
<p>"Of course not, Son," Anderson said as he stroked his son's dark-blonde hair. "You go ahead and get some rest."</p>
<p>"Daddy, I'm sorry. I don't mean to make you worry," Shepard admitted truthfully, "I love you, but I'm okay, yeah. Even if I die, I'll be okay, yeah. So, please don't worry so much about me."</p>
<p>"I really wish you wouldn't talk like that," Anderson scolded his son as he started the car. "When you do, it makes me worry more."</p>
<p>"Okay. I understand. No more talk of death," Shepard agreed as he squeezed his father's hand. "Where's Ryan?"</p>
<p>"He's at our house— staying in your room. He's getting everything ready for you. He's been watching Hailey the last few days as well. He really didn't want to leave you. I'm surprised you talked him into it," Anderson chuckled.</p>
<p>"Yeah, it took me a while. I think Hailey had a lot to do with it," Shepard admitted. "How long will the little seizures last before the medicine kicks in enough to stop 'em?"</p>
<p>"The doctor says it might take a week or two. So, don't be surprised if you have a few," Anderson informed his young son.</p>
<p>"I understand," Shepard whispered as he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.</p>
<p>"I love you, Son," Anderson whispered as he kissed his son's hand gently.</p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next Chapter:  Shepard returns home—</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. A Sort of Homecoming</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Shepard returns home, but Hailey is none-too-happy about it.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ryan could hear the sound of a vehicle pulling into the garage, and he knew his Baby Boy was home. </p><p>"Hailey, Loco's home," Ryan happily announced, hoping Hailey would be excited to see her brother. </p><p>"I'm going to my room. Tell Loco that I hate him, and I never wanna see him again!" Hailey yelled as she stomped her way up the stairs to her bedroom before slamming the door violently behind her.</p><p>"Come on, Hailey! That isn't fair," Ryan called out in disappointment, "Hailey—"</p><p>Ryan just sighed as he quietly made his way towards the kitchen. Eager to welcome his best friend home, Ryan quickly opened the side-door wide for Shepard and his father.</p><p>"Welcome home, Baby Boy," Ryan said with a grin as he hugged his best friend tight. "I got your room all ready for you— complete with fresh sheets and new pillows."</p><p>"Ryan, that's great, and I appreciate it, but you really didn't have to go to all that trouble. My old things were good enough," Shepard said with an amused smile on his face.</p><p>"Trust me, J, it was no trouble at all," Ryan insisted, "I was happy to do it."</p><p>"Where's Hailey?" Shepard asked nervously— as he looked around the room for his beloved little sister.</p><p>"She's, uh, she's with your mom," Ryan lied, not wanting to upset Shepard with the truth— that Hailey was angry and just plain didn't want to see her brother.</p><p>"How's that possible? Mom was alone when she left the hospital. Hailey wasn't with her," Shepard inquired, knowing deep down his friend was lying. "Is she here? I'll bet she just doesn't want to see me. It's okay if that's the case, Ryan— really, it is."</p><p>"Uh— Nope, she's definitely with your mom. She dropped by the house for a second, and Hailey decided to go with her," Ryan lied, wanting to spare Shepard as much pain as he could.</p><p>Anderson lifted a brow to Ryan, knowing full-well the young man was lying. </p><p>"Ryan, why don't you take Shepard to his room and get him settled, " Anderson suggested. "I'll get some water and bring it to him."</p><p>"Thanks, Dad," Shepard said as he followed Ryan down the hall.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"That's a lot of flowers," Shepard chuckled as he placed his pack on the floor.</p><p>"Yeah, Alex may have gotten carried away. He brought them this morning," Ryan explained.</p><p>"Did you get some before he left?" Shepard teased as he elbowed his friend gently on the arm.</p><p>"I wish! Hailey was here, remember," Ryan reminded his cheeky friend. </p><p>"Pity— I was gonna get you to tell me all the dirty details," Shepard said with a fox-like grin.</p><p>"You're wicked! You know that, right," Ryan chuckled as he adjusted the pillows for his blue-eyed friend.</p><p>"You fuckin' love it," Shepard snickered. "Did he get to meet Hailey?"</p><p>"Um— Yeah. He did, actually. She really likes him— well, not as much as she likes me, but she likes him," Ryan replied with a smug grin.</p><p>"You know, one day, I might have to kick your ass because of her," Shepard explained.</p><p>"Now, why's that?" Ryan asked in amusement.</p><p>"If she don't find another crush, she'll end up with a broken heart, and I'll have to kick your ass. I hope you understand," Shepard joked with a smile and a wink.</p><p>"OH— I totally understand. If that ever happens, I'll take that ass-kicking. No worries, eh," Ryan grinned, grey eyes shining with amusement.</p><p>"Did she have fun at the rink? You didn't let her fall, did you?" Shepard asked anxiously.</p><p>"She had a blast! She missed you, though. I didn't <b>let</b> her fall, but she <b>did</b> fall— twice," Ryan admitted truthfully.</p><p>"She wasn't hurt, was she," Shepard asked anxiously, his eyes going wide in fear.</p><p>"No, Baby Boy, of course not," Ryan assured his paranoid friend. "She already knows how to skate. She only fell because she was trying to mimic me. I told her to hold off on stuff like that, and she never fell again."</p><p>"That's good. Did she like playing hockey," Shepard asked curiously.</p><p>"She did! She was adorable. I took a few videos. We can watch them later," Ryan suggested with a grin.</p><p>"I know she's home, Ryan," Shepard informed him quietly, causing Ryan to frown. "Thanks for trying to protect me, but I kinda expected her to be pissed at me."</p><p>"She wasn't pissed at you at first," Ryan explained, "It wasn't until a few of the mothers got together and decided to tell Kahlee that their daughters wouldn't be playing here anymore, at least not until you were out of the house. Apparently, they all think you're a goddamn junkie. Kahlee tried to explain things to them, but they wouldn't listen. One of the girls that can't come over anymore was Hailey's best friend, Olivia. After that, Hailey started blaming you. She'll get over it, Baby Boy. She just needs time."</p><p>"You said 'was' Hailey's best friend— are they not friends anymore?" Shepard asked, sadness evident in his sapphire eyes.</p><p>"Apparently not," Ryan answered truthfully as he gently rubbed Shepard's back. "If you feel up to it, we can take her to the rink next week, and you two can spend some time together. How does that sound?"</p><p>"It <b>sounds </b>great, but Hailey won't wanna go with me," Shepard said truthfully.</p><p>"Sure she will," Ryan promised, "She loves you. Trust me on this, and stop worrying so damn much."</p><p>Shepard rubbed his face hard with both hands. "Okay, I'll try. Did, uh, did Kaidan happen to call?"</p><p>"Uh— No. Was he supposed to?" Ryan asked curiously.</p><p>"No. I was just wondering," Shepard shrugged, disappointment evident in his sapphire-blue eyes.</p><p>"I'll bet he's been texting you like crazy— wondering how you're doing," Ryan teased with a grin, immediately regretting it when he saw the sad look in his best friend's eyes. "He hasn't been texting you, has he?"</p><p>"Nope— not even once," Shepard admitted sadly. </p><p>"Yeah? Well— fuck him," Ryan said angrily. "I think you should forget about him and try to find somebody that actually knows what the fuck they want."</p><p>"There's no reason to be mad at Kaidan, Ryan. He didn't do anything wrong. He probably had an attraction to me, but in the end, decided he was straight— it happens— you know that. He's a nice guy, and I like him, even if he don't like me back," Shepard explained. "Friendship is better than nothin', so please don't be cold to him."</p><p>"<em>Sigh— </em>I won't. I'm sorry for speaking ill of him," Ryan apologized sincerely.</p><p><b>KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK—</b> </p><p>"Come in," Shepard said as he straightened himself up in the bed.</p><p>"Hey, sweetheart," Kahlee softly replied as she made her way to his bedside, "How are you feeling?"</p><p>"I feel alright," Shepard assured her with a smile. </p><p>"I brought your medicine," Kahlee said as she handed him his dosage as well as a bottle of water.</p><p>"Appreciated," Shepard replied as he gratefully swallowed the medication.</p><p>"Did Doctor Smith give you your depot shot yet, or do we have to make an appointment for you?" Kahlee asked, wanting to make sure her son was properly taken care of.</p><p>"Yeah. I took it two days ago. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I forgot," Shepard apologized.</p><p>"That's okay. I'm just glad you were able to get it," Kahlee smiled as she kissed her son's forehead. "I love you. If you need anything, let us know. Goodnight, John."</p><p>"Goodnight, Mom. I love you too," Shepard said with his warmest smile.</p><p>"Your dad will probably check in to say goodnight," Kahlee grinned as she made her way to the door, "Goodnight, Ryan. Please, keep an eye on him for me."</p><p>"Always. Goodnight, Kahlee," Ryan assured her with a smile.</p><p>"David," Kahlee said as she accidentally bumped into her soon-to-be husband. "Are you coming to bed soon?"</p><p>"Just as soon as I check on John, I'll be there," Anderson promised as he kissed her cheek.</p><p>"Did Hailey finally fall asleep?" Kahlee asked curiously.</p><p>"Yep, she's fast asleep," Anderson grinned.</p><p>"That's good," Kahlee chuckled, "Hurry to bed, love."</p><p>"I'll be there before you know it," Anderson winked as he walked into Shepard's room.</p><p>"Getting lucky tonight?" Shepard teased, causing his father to blush.</p><p>"You heard that, huh," Anderson grinned. "I might be, but let's not talk about that. I just came in to say goodnight."</p><p>"Goodnight, Dad. I love you," Shepard said as his father kissed his forehead.</p><p>"I love you too, Son. Goodnight, Ryan. Take care of my boy," Anderson instructed as he made his way to the door.</p><p>"Always," Ryan promised with a smile as he closed the door behind Anderson.</p><p>"So, you ready for bed, Baby Boy," Ryan asked as he removed his own shirt and jeans.</p><p>"I guess," Shepard shrugged as he removed his shirt as well. "Do you always sleep in underwear?"</p><p>"Not always," Ryan chuckled, "Why?"</p><p>"I dunno. I was just curious. Aaron used to sleep in his underwear, unless I was there, of course. I've slept naked since I was fourteen. I fuckin' hate clothes in bed."</p><p>"Yeah, sleeping naked is great," Ryan agreed.</p><p>"You can sleep naked if you want," Shepard offered as he finished taking off his clothes, "I don't mind."</p><p>"I don't know, J," Ryan chuckled, "What if Hailey or your parents come in?"</p><p>"So, what if they do? I sleep naked all the time. Mom and Dad already know that."</p><p>"Aren't you afraid Hailey will walk in on you naked?" Ryan asked curiously.</p><p>"I lock the goddamn door, Ryan," Shepard said as he rolled his eyes at his grey-eyed friend.</p><p>"Fine. You win. I'll sleep buck naked, but if I get hard, you're just gonna have to deal with it," Ryan said as he quickly removed his underwear.</p><p>"You got a nice lookin' dick, Ryan," Shepard said casually, as he stifled a yawn.</p><p>"Why, thank you. I like it, myself," Ryan chuckled as he locked the door before taking his place beside his blue-eyed friend.</p><p>"Hey, Ryan," Shepard called out quietly.</p><p>"Yeah, Baby Boy," Ryan replied lazily.</p><p>"How old were you when you lost your virginity?" Shepard asked plainly.</p><p>"Which one? I've pretty much lost 'em all," Ryan chuckled.</p><p>"All of 'em, I guess," Shepard said with a shrug.</p><p>"Uh— I was fourteen when I lost my virginity to Maddie. I didn't know what the hell I was doing. It lasted maybe three minutes. It was her first time too, so it wasn't all that pleasant for her. I'm pretty thick, so it hurt her a lot. I did everything I could to try to make it easier for her— to try to make it good, but it was still painful for her. I felt so bad after. But she said it was okay— that she didn't regret it. She still says that she cherishes that night. I guess I do, too," Ryan admitted truthfully.</p><p>"It sounds like you really loved her," Shepard said softly.</p><p>"I did. Hell, I still do. I'll always love that girl. It just wasn't the kind of love you have for a lover. Know what I mean," Ryan tried his best to explain.</p><p>"Did you know you were gay before you slept with her?" Shepard asked curiously.</p><p>"I did," Ryan admitted, "I tried desperately to make myself straight— for my family, you know. But I was always drawn to guys. I had a big crush on Aaron back then."</p><p>"Really?" Shepard asked in amusement. </p><p>"Yes, really, " Ryan laughed. "Aaron was easy to love."</p><p>"Yes, he was," Shepard agreed with a melancholic smile.</p><p>"Anyway, I came out to Aaron when I was thirteen. We were wrestling around, and I started staring at him, and eventually, I got hard. I obviously, freaked out and pushed him away. He tried to calm me down by saying it wasn't my fault— it was just a bodily reaction from the friction. I told him it wasn't— that I liked him more than I should. Aaron said he understood but that he didn't think of me that way. I thought I was about to lose my best friend, but he just held me tight and told me he loved me and that it was okay if I liked guys," Ryan smiled fondly at the memory. "If it wasn't for Aaron, I would probably still be living a lie and hating myself."</p><p>"Aaron was the best of us," Shepard softly whispered.</p><p>"That he was, Baby Boy," Ryan agreed with a nod. </p><p>"What about your first kiss? Was it a guy or a girl?" Shepard asked curiously.</p><p>"It was a girl, and I regret the hell out of it," Ryan admitted truthfully.</p><p>"Why do you regret it?" </p><p>"Because it was done on a dare when I was twelve, and it was with a girl I despise now," Ryan explained.</p><p>"Oh, my god— your first kiss was Elise," Shepard broke out laughing hysterically.</p><p>"Yeah, yeah— Laugh it up! It was a stupid dare! I didn't want the guys to think I was a pussy!"</p><p>"Were you her first kiss?" Shepard asked curiously.</p><p>"I don't think so. I think Elias was," Ryan replied.</p><p>"I fucking hate that guy, but he and Elise would make a good couple," Shepard admitted.</p><p>"They really would," Ryan laughed.</p><p>"What about guys?" Shepard asked.</p><p>"Well, the first time I touched a guy was when I was fifteen. His name was Trevor— I think. I didn't really know him. He was eighteen, and we met online. Stupid, I know, but I was desperate. We hooked up at his place a few times, but we never had full-blown sex. He was the first guy I gave head to and the first guy I got head from. Maddie gave me head all the time, but it wasn't the same. I still like it better with a guy," Ryan admitted with a grin and a wink. "The first time I had sex with a guy was that same year, so I was fifteen then too. It was with Dylan. I topped, and it was the best fucking thing I had ever experienced up until that point. I didn't bottom until I was sixteen. The guy was twenty-six years old. His name was Shane. I met him at a club. It wasn't as bad as it could have been for my first time bottoming. He had a small dick— so it wasn't all that painful. I didn't enjoy it all that much. I thought it was because I was a top, but that wasn't the reason. The guy just sucked in bed."</p><p>"Do you consider yourself a top, bottom, or vers?" Shepard asked curiously.</p><p>"Vers— definitely," Ryan answered without missing a beat, "Dylan taught me how fucking good bottoming could be. I love to flip-fuck."</p><p>"Me too," Shepard groaned, "It's so good! And fun as hell."</p><p>"Alex loves it, but you already know that," Ryan chuckled. "Thanks again for introducing us. It's been really great so far."</p><p>"No problem," Shepard grinned.</p><p>"Do you ever miss Elliot?" Ryan asked curiously.</p><p>"Where the hell did that come from? Hell no," Shepard answered quickly before reconsidering his answer, "Well— that's not completely true. I miss him whenever I think of the good times I had with him, but then I remember how dark he got. If we had stayed together, I would have killed him. I am 100% sure of it."</p><p>"Yeah, he wasn't good for you, that's for sure," Ryan said honestly. </p><p>"You ever had a threesome," Shepard asked nonchalantly.</p><p>"No," Ryan answered simply.</p><p>"You ever think about it," Shepard asked curiously.</p><p>"Yeah. I'd be lying if I said I didn't," Ryan admitted truthfully, "I used to wonder what it would have been like to be with you and Aaron. Is that weird?"</p><p>"Not to me," Shepard admitted, "We thought about it too. We even talked about it a few times."</p><p>"Really?" Ryan asked in shocked surprise. "Who brought it up first?"</p><p>"Aaron did. He had a dream about it. I told him it sounded hot. He seemed to be really interested in trying it, but he was so afraid he'd get jealous. He didn't want it to end in a fight between you," Shepard admitted truthfully. "We were gonna talk to you about it, but—" </p><p>"You don't have to say anything, Baby Boy. I understand," Ryan smiled as he took Shepard's hand and gently kissed the knuckles he found there.</p><p>"I love you, Ryan. Always," Shepard admitted as he gently kissed his grey-eyed friend.</p><p>"I love you too, Baby Boy," Ryan smiled as he touched his forehead to Shepard's. "You ready to get some shut-eye?"</p><p>"Definitely," Shepard agreed with a yawn. "I might have a few seizures in the next couple of weeks. It's normal, eh,  so don't panic if I have a few."</p><p>"I'll try my best to stay calm," Ryan promised as he held his friend close. "Goodnight, J."</p><p>"'Night, Ryan," Shepard mumbled as he allowed sleep to claim him.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>For the next week, Hailey had done everything in her power to avoid her big brother. Whenever Shepard said hello to the little angel, she would turn her tiny head or storm off in the opposite direction. And though Shepard understood her reasoning, it still broke his heart every time it happened.</p><p>"So, are you and Ryan taking Hailey to the rink this afternoon?" Kahlee asked as she poured her son a cup of coffee.</p><p>"Ryan will probably have to take her. I don't think she wants me to go," Shepard explained as he took a bite of his eggs.</p><p>"Don't think like that, Baby Boy," Ryan scolded as he continued to eat his breakfast, "You have to go. Kaidan and his cousin are coming to watch us play a little hockey."</p><p>"John, I'd rather you not play hockey yet. It's only been a week. There's no way your brain is healed yet," Kahlee reminded, hoping he would see reason.</p><p>"I'll be super careful, Mom," Shepard promised.</p><p>"<em>Sigh— </em>Call me if anything happens," Kahlee insisted. "I'll go get Hailey ready to go."</p><p>
  <b>Thirty minutes later—</b>
</p><p>"Hailey, are you ready to go?" Ryan called out as he prepared the hockey bags for travel.</p><p>"I'm ready," Hailey grinned, high ponytail bouncing, dressed in her brand new London Knights jersey, "We can go anytime you're ready."</p><p>"Ready to head out, Walker," Shepard said as he helped Ryan with the bags.</p><p>"You can't go! I don't want you there," Hailey demanded.</p><p><em> 'Goddamn! That was harsh. What's her problem anyway? This ain't like Hailey, at all,' </em>the voice said anxiously.</p><p>"Hailey, come on," Ryan pleaded, "Just let him come with us, eh."</p><p>"It's okay, Ryan. You can take her," Shepard insisted with a sad look on his face. "I'll just stay here and sleep. Sleep is good for my brain."</p><p>"Baby Boy," Ryan called out as Shepard just waved his hand and started walking slowly towards his bedroom. "Hailey, that wasn't very nice. He loves you, yeah. Don't you feel bad, making him sad like that?"</p><p>"No. I don't! He's the reason I don't have any friends! I hate him! I wish he was dead!" Hailey screamed, loud enough for Shepard to hear, causing him to freeze in his tracks.</p><p>"Yeah, Hailey. I kinda wish I was," Shepard whispered apologetically— as he slowly closed his bedroom door.</p><p>"How could you say that, Hailey!?" Ryan yelled.</p><p>"I say it because I mean it!" Hailey yelled, challenging Ryan's authority.</p><p>"You know what, I don't feel much like skating today. The trip's cancelled, " Ryan said as he placed the hockey bags in the side closet.</p><p>"You can't do that! You promised! I wanna skate," Hailey screamed.</p><p>"And people in hell want ice water! It ain't happening, Hailey," Ryan insisted, ignoring the little girl's tantrum as he made his way to the kitchen. </p><p>"What the hell's going on here?" Kahlee asked, demanding to know why her daughter was screaming.</p><p>"I told Hailey that we wouldn't be skating today, and she threw a fit," Ryan admitted truthfully.</p><p>"Why aren't you skating? You promised you'd take her. If John doesn't feel well, you can just take her," Kahlee suggested, not understanding the issue.</p><p>"You don't get it," Ryan said, shaking his head for emphasis, "J wanted to go. Hailey refused to let him. J was cool with that, but I didn't want us to leave without him. So, I told Hailey that she was hurting her brother's feelings. She said she didn't care and that she wished J was dead. So, NO, I'm not taking her anywhere."</p><p>"She said she wished he was dead," Kahkee repeated in shock.</p><p>"Yeah, she did. She says she means it," Ryan said sadly.</p><p>"I'll talk to her," Kahlee assured the young man.</p><p>"You do that. Hopefully, you can get her to realize the weight of her words," Ryan suggested as he retrieved a bottle of water from the fridge. "I'm thinking of taking J away from here for a while. Somewhere quiet, so he can heal. I hope you'll let me. I'm gonna go check on my Baby Boy."</p><p>"Ryan— please don't take him away," Kahlee pleaded, "I'll talk to Hailey. Things will get better here. I promise."</p><p>"I don't think J has that much time," Ryan answered truthfully— as he made his way to Shepard's bedroom.</p><p>"Hailey, come here this instant," Kahlee demanded, causing her daughter to come running. "Why did you say those horrible things about your brother? How could you wish for his death?"</p><p>"He messed everything up! I haven't got any friends anymore, and it's all his fault," Hailey pouted.</p><p>"Hailey, that's no reason to wish death on anyone," Kahlee scolded. </p><p>"If he wasn't here, then my friends could come back. So I want him gone!" Hailey insisted.</p><p>"Hailey, John would do anything in the world for you. You know that! If he could have stopped what happened, he would have, but he couldn't, Hailey. Think of everything he's done for you. Think of how much he loves you," Kahlee pleaded, "Please, Hailey, give him a chance to make it up to you."</p><p>Hailey chewed her lip in contemplation before finally making her decision. "Fine! He can come, but I don't want him to talk to me!"</p><p>Kahlee sighed hard. "It's a start, I guess. I'll go tell Ryan the trip's back on."</p><p>
  <b>KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK—</b>
</p><p>"Come in," Ryan called out as he gently stroked Shepard's dark-blonde hair.</p><p>"Hailey's agreed to allow Shepard to come with her. She just doesn't want him to talk to her," Kahlee explained.</p><p>"It's up to you, Baby Boy," Ryan said as he continued stroking Shepard's dark- blonde hair.</p><p><em> 'Like Ryan said, it's up to you,' </em> the voice calmly stated.</p><p>"I'll go," Shepard agreed with a nod.</p><p>"Alright. Let's get going, eh," Ryan suggested as he helped the young blonde get up from his bed.</p><p>"I think I'm getting a cluster headache. I can feel the ghost of one," Shepard admitted as he followed his friend into the kitchen.</p><p>"You wanna take your shot with you, just in case," Ryan asked as he retrieved the bags from the side closet.</p><p>"I think I'd better," Shepard agreed as he retrieved his medication from the cabinet. "Ready to go when you are."</p><p>"Come on, Hailey," Ryan called out, "It's time to go."</p><p>"Okay, Ryan," Hailey said as she took Ryan by the hand, letting him lead her to the car. "I can't wait to skate!"</p><p>"Yeah, it should be fun, eh," Ryan said as he gently buckled her in. "You ready to go, Baby Boy?"</p><p>"Yep," Shepard answered simply— as he leaned his head against the window.</p><p>"We'll be on the ice in no time, Baby Boy. Don't you worry," Ryan grinned as he started the car, "It's gonna be fun!"</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next Chapter:  Shepard hits the ice again—</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Like a One-Man Army</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Shepard takes the ice again as the rift between he and Hailey grows—</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>***WARNING***<br/>SUICIDAL THOUGHTS</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Okay, Hailey, what do you want to learn today?" Ryan asked with a bright smile as he led the little girl onto the ice.</p><p>"I wanna learn how to skate fast," Hailey insisted as she slightly adjusted her helmet.</p><p>"You wanna work on speed, huh," Ryan grinned in amusement. "Okay, just stand right there and watch. Baby Boy and I are gonna have a little race to show you just how fast we can go."</p><p>Hailey just nodded in understanding.</p><p>"You ready, Baby Boy," Ryan asked as he took his place beside the young blonde. </p><p>"Always," Shepard grinned as he waited for the starting signal.</p><p>"We'll go on your word, Hailey," Ryan announced as he concentrated on the task at hand.</p><p>"Ready— Set— GO!" Hailey called out as she watched the two skaters make their way to the net and back again. She had never seen anyone move so fast on the ice before. She was amazed at the way they seemed to flow like water across the ice. In the end, Ryan was fast, but Shepard was faster.</p><p>"I swear, J, you just get better-and-better. I ain't never seen anyone faster," Ryan praised with a grin as he kissed his friend on the cheek.</p><p>"It feels good to be on the ice," Shepard admitted with a genuine smile.</p><p>"Hailey, if it's speed, you want— J's your guy," Ryan said with a wink. "He can show you all the tricks. Whattaya say?"</p><p>"No. I don't want him to teach me," Hailey pouted, shaking her head for emphasis. "I want you to show me. He can go skate somewhere else."</p><p>Shepard's smile quickly turned to a frown, and Ryan could see the hurt in his sapphire eyes.</p><p>"Hailey, if you really want to learn, let Baby Boy teach you, yeah. You won't regret it," Ryan said as he tried his best to mend the rift between the two siblings.</p><p>"NO! I want you to teach me, Ryan," Hailey demanded. "He can go away."</p><p>"Hailey!" Ryan scolded.</p><p>"It's okay, Walker," Shepard said as he gently slapped his friend on the back, "You teach her. I'll go skate around on the other side of the rink."</p><p>"Baby Boy—" Ryan called out as Shepard began skating away.</p><p>"It's what she wants, Ryan," Shepard called back, "I just want her to be happy, so— just do as she says."</p><p>Ryan sighed hard as he took Hailey by the hand and began to teach her the basics.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>After about twenty minutes of practising, Hailey was finally tired enough to call it a day.</p><p>"I called your mom and told her you were ready to come home," Ryan explained as he helped the tiny angel with her gear. "She's gonna meet us at Tim's in about an hour. Since you did such a great job today, I'm gonna get you a treat. How about a nice warm donut or some Timbits? Sound good, Hailey?"</p><p>"Yay! I love the chocolate filled ones that Daddy always buys," Hailey said with excitement in her grey-coloured eyes.</p><p>"You ready to go, Baby Boy," Ryan asked as he rubbed his friend's back gently.</p><p>"Does he <b>have </b>to go with us? Can't he just wait here?" Hailey asked sadly.</p><p>"I'll just hang back, Ryan. And get ready for the pickup game," Shepard suggested as he glanced sadly at his little sister.</p><p>"Alright, if that's what you want," Ryan nodded as he led Hailey to the door.</p><p>"I love you, Hailey. Be good, yeah," Shepard called out, hoping Hailey would reply back— she did not. "Watch after her, Ryan."</p><p>"You got it, Baby Boy! I'll be back soon. Do you want me to pick you up anything— something to eat, maybe?" Ryan asked.</p><p>"Nah. I'm good. You two have fun," Shepard replied with a fake smile that Ryan immediately caught.</p><p>"Later, J," Ryan said as he quietly led Hailey out of the building.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>Shepard spent his time waiting for Ryan, alone in the locker room— his mind going a million miles a minute— with Hailey's words replaying in his head— over-and-over— like a song stuck on repeat:  "I hate him! I wish he were dead! I don't want him to teach me. He can go skate somewhere else. Does he have to go with us? Can't he just wait here? I hate him! I wish he were dead—"</p><p><em> 'Hey, this ain't your fault. Hailey's just pissed. She'll get over it. So, don't beat yourself up over it, eh,' </em>the voice said, trying to help stop the endless cycle in Shepard's head.</p><p><em> 'Maybe you should listen to her,' </em> a familiar female voice called out in Shepard's mind, <em> 'Wouldn't the world be a better place without you? Just think of how happy you would make everyone. Your so-called parents would finally have peace, and your precious little angel would get everything she wished for. You want to make her happy, don't you?' </em></p><p><em> 'Not this shit again! Oy, bitch, get the hell outta here! You ain't welcome here, and you fucking know it,' </em>the voice raged against the unwelcomed visitor now trying to invade his space.</p><p>"She has a point! If I die, Hailey gets her friends back, Dad stops worrying so goddamn much, and Mom will finally stop crying," Shepard said, his brow furrowed in thought.</p><p><em> 'Shepard, you know goddamn well that ain't true! All your death would do is bring unnecessary pain to your family. Don't believe me— just think about all the hell Aaron's death caused,' </em>the voice scolded, hoping to snap the blue-eyed blonde out of his suicidal thoughts.</p><p>"That was different! Aaron was special! Everyone loved him, and he always did his best to help others," Shepard explained, "I ain't half the man Aaron was, so don't you dare try to compare my life to his—"</p><p>"Baby Boy?" Ryan called out in concern for his beloved best friend, "Is everything okay?"</p><p><em> 'Thank fuck! Ryan's back! Maybe he can talk some sense into you,' </em>the voice said anxiously.</p><p><em> 'Don't listen to Ryan. He doesn't understand you. He'll never understand. You know what needs to be done,' </em> the female voice taunted the young blonde mercilessly.</p><p>"I—I'm not sure. I don't know what to do! I want Hailey to be happy," Shepard admitted truthfully, "Maybe it would be for the best. Dying wouldn't be so bad. I'd be with Aaron again, so— it's okay, isn't it?"</p><p>Ryan's eyes grew wide as he immediately rushed towards his blue-eyed friend, slapping him hard across the face.</p><p>Shepard staggered from the sudden sting, a look of utter confusion on his face. "Where am I?" Shepard asked, his sapphire eyes cloudy and unfocused.</p><p>"Oh, J," Ryan sadly whispered as he hugged his friend tight. </p><p>"R-Ryan?" Shepard whispered, still lost as to what had actually happened. "Did I do something wrong?"</p><p>"No, not yet anyway," Ryan admitted as he held Shepard's head steady in his hands, searching his sapphire eyes for any signs of distress. "Are you okay now, Baby Boy?"</p><p>"I—I think so," Shepard mumbled. "Where are we?"</p><p>"We're at the rink. We brought Hailey here for a lesson. Do you remember now?" Ryan asked, hoping his beloved friend would remember.</p><p>Shepard furrowed his brow in concentration before— finally, his blue eyes lit up in understanding. </p><p>"You took her to Tim's for a snack and to wait for Mom," Shepard said, causing Ryan to smile in relief.</p><p>"That's right, Baby Boy," Ryan smiled brightly at his friend. "You stayed here to get ready for the pickup game, remember? Do you still feel up to playing, or do you wanna head home instead?"</p><p>"I— no, I'll stay. Garrus is probably already on his way," Shepard explained, "Besides, I think I need this. Being on the ice makes me feel better."</p><p>"Yeah. Okay, as long as you're certain," Ryan nodded in agreement as he started to get ready for the game. </p><p>"Ryan, what was I doing when you came in?" Shepard asked, anxiously, a sense of dread building inside him.</p><p>"It— it's not important, J," Ryan assured his anxious friend, "You came back to me, so it's all good, eh."</p><p>"I guess," Shepard said with a crooked grin just as Garrus made his way into the locker room.</p><p>"Hello, ladies," Garrus teased as he began to get ready for the game.</p><p>"Hey, Garrus," Ryan chuckled, shaking his head in amusement. "Is the other team here yet?" </p><p>"Yeah, they're here. They're getting dressed in the other locker room," Garrus explained as the rest of their teammates entered the locker room. "Gentlemen, this is Shepard. Get to know him well, 'cause he'll be our top forward-centre this season."</p><p>"Vakarian, there's no way you can know that for sure," a well-built brunette kid, with hazel eyes and a small scar above his right brow, called out with a grin.</p><p>"Trust me, Jake, I know," Garrus insisted as he continued to get dressed. "You'll know too when you see him play."</p><p>"We'll see— Walker? Ryan Walker!? You play for the London Knights," Jake called out in awe of the man before him.</p><p>"Yep, that's me," Ryan chuckled as he shook the boy's hand firmly.</p><p>"I can't believe you're playing," Jake grinned, unable to hide his excitement.</p><p>"Are you kidding? I love pickup games," Ryan admitted truthfully, "I play as often as I can with Baby Boy. He keeps me sharp."</p><p>"Baby Boy?" Jake asked in confusion.</p><p>"Ah— Shepard. I meant Shepard," Ryan corrected with a grin.</p><p>"So— you like to be called 'Baby Boy'?" Jake snickered at the affectionate nickname. </p><p>"Nope— not by you anyway. Just call me Shepard, and we're gold," the blue-eyed teen replied.</p><p>"A little pissy, aren't ya," Jake asked as he rolled his eyes at Shepard. "Man, I hope you don't have an attitude."</p><p>"Whatever. I earned my goddamn attitude," Shepard mumbled as he slammed his locker and walked towards the locker room door, away from the crowd.</p><p>"He's gonna be fun to be around," Jake said sarcastically as the others all nodded in agreement.</p><p>"Look, you don't have to like him, but he's the best goddamn hockey player I've ever seen," Ryan lectured, "So, if you wanna win, you better goddamn listen when he talks."</p><p>"Is that an order?" One of the other teammates called out in amusement.</p><p>"No, just some friendly advice," Ryan admitted as he made his way towards his Baby Boy.</p><p>"I can already tell this Shepard guy's gonna be an asshole," Jake said as he shook his head in disapproval.</p><p>"Give him a chance, Jake," Garrus pleaded, "And if you don't like him, that's fine— but you need to respect him. He really is as good as Ryan says he is. If we listen to him, we'll win easy enough."</p><p>"We'll see," Jake whispered in doubt.</p><p>"You feeling okay?" Ryan asked as he slapped his best friend on the shoulder.</p><p>"I'm fine," Shepard assured his grey-eyed friend. "Was I really that big of an ass to that guy? I wasn't trying to be. I just told him what to call me."</p><p>"Trust me, Baby Boy, you didn't say anything wrong. That kid has thin skin. He'll get over it— or he won't," Ryan said with a shrug. "Who cares either way? Just do what you always do. And if they don't wanna fall in line— fuck 'em."</p><p>"I guess," Shepard agreed with a nod. "You wanna hit the ice early— maybe warm up a little? I'm sick of this place."</p><p>"Hell yeah, " Ryan grinned mischievously at his beloved friend, "Lead the way, Baby Boy."</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>Ryan and Shepard fooled around on the ice until it was time for the game. The opposing team looked to be in prime shape, causing Shepard and Ryan to bubble with excitement.</p><p>"I hope they play as good as we think they do," Shepard said with a crooked grin, "I could use the rush."</p><p>"Me too! It's been a while since I played a rough game," Ryan admitted with a wink, "I could use the exercise."</p><p>"So— you like it rough, eh," Shepard teased, "I'm sure Alex would be willing to oblige you."</p><p>"Yeah, yeah. Fuck you too, Baby Boy," Ryan chuckled as he gently nudged his mischievous friend.</p><p>"Hmm… Maybe one day," Shepard winked, causing Ryan's jaw to drop at the blue-eyed teen's shameless flirting.</p><p>"Boy, you are the devil!" Ryan said as he followed Shepard to their side of the ice.</p><p>"So I've been told," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p><p>"It's about time you guys got over here," Jake scolded as he continued to fidget nervously. "The game's about to start!"</p><p>"Relax," Ryan replied as he rolled his eyes at the uptight kid, "You need to loosen up, or you won't be able to focus on the game."</p><p>"Yeah— okay. I'll try to calm down," Jake promised.</p><p>"Good," Ryan nodded in amusement.</p><p>"Alright— like I said before— Shepard's the boss on the ice. Listen to him and do whatever he says," Garrus instructed his teammates.</p><p>"Shouldn't we be listening to the pro?" Jake asked in confusion, "I mean, we don't know shit about this guy."</p><p>"Fair enough, but I <b>do know</b> about Shepard. And he's the best of us," Garrus replied in annoyance, "But if you want Ryan to lead us, that's just fine with me."</p><p>"Uh— I'm flattered, but no," Ryan said, shaking his head for emphasis. "I am not a leader. I suck at stuff like that. Besides, Baby Boy's hockey sense is leagues better than mine."</p><p>"Come on— do we really have to listen to everything he says," Jake asked one last time, hoping to avoid dealing with Shepard.</p><p>"You know what, fuck this," Shepard yelled, fed up with the constant back-and-forth, "Stop the fucking whining and just play the goddamn game. I'll pick up the slack if we start slipping."</p><p>"But, Shepard, they need to learn to—" Garrus's words were cut short by a very annoyed Shepard.</p><p>"Enough! If they don't want to fall in line, I'll do it my goddamn self," Shepard insisted as he skated away from the group.</p><p>"Goddamn! I love how assertive he is," Ryan grinned as he watched his friend skate away from them, "That, my friends, is a leader. You guys are gonna look pretty fucking stupid when this game's over if you don’t listen to him."</p><p>"He can't be that great," the team goalie insisted.</p><p>"You'll see," Ryan grinned as he skated towards his beloved friend. </p><p>"I hate to say it, but if these fuckers are my teammates this season, I'm gonna lose my shit," Shepard admitted to his grey-eyed friend. "This petty bullshit ain't got no place on the ice."</p><p>"Agreed," Ryan nodded as he gently rubbed his friend's back. "Fuck 'em, eh. We'll just concentrate on our game, and if we lose because they won't fall in line— well, that's on them."</p><p>"Yeah," Shepard grinned, "I'll do my job. I always do."</p><p>"Look up there— the second row to the left," Ryan grinned as he nudged his best friend's arm.</p><p>"What?" Shepard asked as his sapphire eyes scanned the area. "Kaidan—"</p><p>"Yep, Kaidan's here. He came to watch you play," Ryan said with a teasing wink.</p><p>"Yeah, but he brought that girl with him," Shepard pouted, and Ryan thought it was adorable.</p><p>"You are so friggin' cute when you pout," Ryan snickered.</p><p>"Yeah? Well— fuck you," Shepard chuckled back. </p><p>"Players take your positions, and prepare for the faceoff," the designated referee called out, causing the players to take their places.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>Ryan was furious with the messy performance of the team, becoming increasingly more agitated with the sheer amount of work his beloved friend had to put in just to save their sorry asses.</p><p>"How're you holding up, Baby Boy?" Ryan asked, knowing his blue-eyed friend had to be running out of gas.</p><p>"I'll be alright," Shepard replied, breathing hard as he tried to catch his breath. "I can't tell if they're awful players or just plain goddamn lazy. Maybe they're doing it on purpose, trying to run my ass into the ground to teach me some kind of lesson. I dunno, but I'm fucking gassed," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p><p>"I don't know how you're still standing, to be honest," Ryan said with admiration apparent in his voice,  "I would have been done in the second period."</p><p>"Yeah— Do you think I padded our lead enough to half-ass it the last two minutes?" Shepard asked, exhaustion evident on his handsome face.</p><p>"We're up by four. I'm pretty sure we're safe," Ryan chuckled in amusement.</p><p>"I dunno— our goalie fucking sucks. It's like he's asleep out there," Shepard said, the doubt evident in his voice as the goal light lit up, causing Shepard to groan. "See what I mean— now we only got a three-point lead. I better get in there and help Garrus play keep away before they piss away the game."</p><p>Shepard slowly rose to his feet, quickly grasping his left eye in excruciating pain. </p><p>"Goddammit! Motherfucking son-of-a-bitch," Shepard cursed loudly, causing Ryan to panic slightly.</p><p>"You okay, Baby Boy!? Is it your head? You don't think you're bleeding again, do you? I can call 911 if you need me to," Ryan offered.</p><p>"NO! It's a goddamn cluster headache," Shepard yelled, fidgeting nonstop to try to ease the pain. "I think my fucking eye is starting to swell."</p><p>"Let me see the damage," Ryan insisted as he coaxed Shepard's hand from his left eye. "Yeah, it's swelling a little— your eyelid's starting to droop a bit too."</p><p>"Fuck my life," Shepard cried out as he glanced towards the scoreboard to see how much time remained in the game. "There's still a minute thirty to go. Go, help Garrus. If they tie the game, we're fucked."</p><p>"Baby Boy, fuck the game," Ryan said in annoyance. "You're what's important."</p><p>"NO, RYAN," Shepard screamed. "I refuse to let these fucks down. I promised I'd pick up the slack, and that's— exactly— what I'm gonna do. So, get your ass out there and help Garrus!"</p><p>"Yes, Sir," Ryan said with a mock salute, his smile full of pride for his beloved friend.</p><p>Shepard sat back down and started rocking back and forth, trying his best to deal with the pain.</p><p>The end-of-game buzzer finally sounded, and Shepard was relieved to see that they had indeed managed to win by just one point.</p><p>"Thank god," Shepard whispered as Ryan and the rest of the team made their way off the ice.</p><p>"We did it, Baby Boy," Ryan said as he allowed the young blonde to lean against him. "Let's get you to the locker room."</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"We won! I can't believe it," Jake said with a huge smile on his face, "We were awesome! I can't wait for this season!"</p><p><strong>"'We' won?</strong> What the fuck do you mean <strong>'we'</strong>?" Garrus asked, pissed at his fellow teammates for their lack of appreciation. "Shepard carried your sorry asses all game. And here you are, taking all of the credit. You should be ashamed."</p><p>"He didn't do all that much," Jake said with a shrug.</p><p>"Didn't do— Are you fucking serious?" Garrus growled as he slammed his locker shut.</p><p>"For fuck's sake! SHUT THE HELL UP!" Shepard's voice rang out loud throughout the locker room. "My goddamn head is killing me, and I don't give a fuck what these assholes think of me. I did what I said I was going to do, and that's the motherfucking end of it!"</p><p>The entire locker room fell silent as they watched Shepard continue to pace back and forth like a caged animal. The entire locker room jumped as Shepard brutally punched his locker several times in an attempt to stifle the pain.</p><p>"Easy, Baby Boy," Ryan said, trying to calm his sick friend.</p><p>Shepard bit down on the fleshy part of his hand, hard enough to draw blood.</p><p>"Is that really necessary, J," Ryan asked as he gently rubbed the blue-eyed boy's back, trying his best to soothe him.</p><p>"Pain cancels pain. You gotta know that, Ryan." Shepard explained. </p><p>"Yeah, I know, but— Wait a minute, Baby Boy. Didn't you bring your pen with you?" Ryan reminded his beloved friend.</p><p>Shepard never said a word— he just rushed to his locker and retrieved the kit from his hockey bag. It only took a minute for Shepard to prepare the medication. Once the injection was prepared, Shepard quickly pulled down one side of his pants— just far enough to expose his naked thigh.</p><p>The entire locker room watched in fascination as Shepard stabbed his outer thigh with the pen, quickly injecting the medication.</p><p>"How long before the medicine kicks in?" Ryan asked anxiously.</p><p>"About ten minutes," Shepard replied as he continued to fidget restlessly.</p><p>Ryan and Garrus watched Shepard like a hawk until, eventually, he stopped fidgeting.</p><p>"Feeling any better?" Garrus asked as Shepard started taking off his gear.</p><p>"Yeah. I dread the next few weeks, though," Shepard admitted as he continued to undress.</p><p>"Why? What happens in the next two weeks?" Garrus asked curiously.</p><p>"Cluster headaches come in waves until they stop, and I go back into remission," Shepard explained, "My episodes always come and go for at least two weeks, then they stop for a few months."</p><p>"I thought you were supposed to be this big, bad tough guy," Jake teased with a smug grin, "But you must be a real pussy to let a little headache fuck you up."</p><p>Shepard snapped, and it took everything Ryan and Garrus had to keep him away from the cocky boy.</p><p>"You don't know shit, you dumb fuck! So don't you dare sit there and judge me, you goddamn cunt," Shepard growled, trying desperately to get a hold of the mouthy kid.</p><p><em> 'You know, normally, I would encourage you to kick this little fucker's ass, but he </em> <b> <em>is </em> </b> <em> going to be your teammate soon. Do you really want to turn everyone against you before the season even starts?' </em>The voice asked, trying his best to calm the blue-eyed blonde.</p><p>"Ryan, let me go," Shepard calmly demanded. "I need to get out of here before I take this fucker's head off."</p><p>Ryan slowly loosed his grip on Shepard and nodded for Garrus to do the same.</p><p>Once Shepard was free, he grabbed his hockey bag and quickly stormed out of the locker room.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"Shepard," a familiar voice called out, causing the blue-eyed teen to seek out the speaker.</p><p>"Kaidan," Shepard said as he quickly made his way over to the amber-eyed teen.</p><p>Kaidan immediately frowned as he noticed Shepard's bloodshot left eye.</p><p>"Has your headache eased any," Kaidan asked, surprising Shepard.</p><p>"How did you—"</p><p>"Your left eye is watering, and it's bloodshot," Kaidan explained, motioning to his own left eye as he spoke.</p><p>"Uh— Yeah. I took some medicine for it," Shepard assured the amber-eyed teen. "Thanks for asking."</p><p>"What the hell happened to your hand? Is that a bite mark?" Ashley asked curiously.</p><p>"Yeah. Pain eases pain," Shepard replied with a shrug.</p><p>"Uh-huh," Ashley said, cocking her brow in amusement.</p><p>"You need to clean that up. You don't want to get an infection," Kaidan suggested with a concerned look on his face.</p><p>"Yeah. I'll take care of it when I get home," Shepard promised with a smile.</p><p>"That was a pretty rough game, huh," Kaidan said, deciding to change the subject.</p><p>"Yeah," Shepard admitted with a smile, "It was. I had fun, though."</p><p>"Yeah, I gotta admit, you were really good," Ashley chimed in, causing Shepard to look her way. </p><p>"Thanks," Shepard said with a nervous smile. "I did my best."</p><p>"It was, uh, impressive," Kaidan said with a fox-like grin.</p><p>Shepard smiled that crooked smile that Kaidan loved so much, and it went straight to his heart.</p><p>"I'm glad you liked it," Shepard grinned, his blue eyes shining mischievously. "I should get you on the ice someday. It'd be fun, eh."</p><p>"Kaidan's horrible on the ice. He can skate, but his stick-handling sucks," Ashley said, effectively ruining the moment.</p><p>"My stick-handling is just fine. Thank you very much," Kaidan growled in annoyance, much to the amusement of Shepard.</p><p>"I'll bet," Shepard teased with a wink.</p><p>The wink was not lost on Ashley— her eyes going wide in disbelief.</p><p>"You wanna go grab something to eat with us," Shepard asked, never taking his eyes off the whisky-eyed teen.</p><p>"Sure. I'd like that," Kaidan smiled, absentmindedly licking his lips.</p><p>"Yeah, that sounds great and all— but Kaidan can't go," Ashley informed Shepard, causing the young blonde's brow to furrow in disappointment.</p><p>"Ash, what are you doing?" Kaidan whispered, confused by his cousin's words.</p><p>"We promised your mom we'd help decorate for that fundraiser she's in charge of, remember?" Ashley replied, eager to get Kaidan away from Shepard.</p><p>"I forgot about that," Kaidan admitted with a frown. "Can we take a rain check?"</p><p>"Sure," Shepard assured the amber-eyed beauty with a nod. </p><p>"Well, it was nice seeing you again, Shepard. Great game, by the way," Ashley said as she quickly led Kaidan towards the car, "Time to go, Kaidan. We don't want to be late."</p><p>"Goodbye, Shepard," Kaidan called out as he was being shoved into his car by a very determined Ashley. "I'll call you."</p><p>"You do that," Shepard called back with a wave as he watched them drive away.</p><p><em> 'That chick is the epitome of a cock-blocker,' </em> the voice growled in annoyance.</p><p>"She really is," Shepard agreed with an annoyed sigh.</p><p>"You ready to go, Baby Boy," Ryan asked as he and Garrus made their way towards him.</p><p>"Sure," Shepard nodded as they walked towards their respective cars.</p><p>"Jimmy's gonna meet us at the restaurant. He had to take his mom shopping and couldn't be here for the game. He's gonna be pissed he missed it," Garrus grinned.</p><p>"He missed a good one," Ryan agreed as he opened his car door. "Baby Boy really shined out there."</p><p>"I worked my ass off for sure," Shepard chuckled as he opened the passenger's side door.</p><p>"You really did," Garrus grinned as he got into his car. </p><p>"Let's head out," Ryan said as he started the car, following Garrus to the restaurant. </p><p>"I talked to Kaidan," Shepard suddenly spoke, causing Ryan to grin.</p><p>"So that's why you're in such a good mood," Ryan teased.</p><p>"Yeah, yeah— Laugh it up," Shepard said, shaking his head in amusement. </p><p>"And— how'd it go?" Ryan asked curiously.</p><p>"We flirted a bit. It was good," Shepard admitted with a fond smile. "His cousin's a major cock-blocker, though."</p><p>"Explain," Ryan instructed as he kept his eyes on the road.</p><p>"I asked Kaidan to join us for food, and she just shot it down. She made up some lame-ass excuse to drag him away from me," Shepard explained. "It wouldn't have been so bad if he hadn't said yes first. He asked for a rain check, though. It's better than nothin'."</p><p>"I'd say that's pretty damn good," Ryan grinned. "You know, it could be a blessing in disguise."</p><p>"Whattaya mean," Shepard asked curiously.</p><p>"Well, not to be rude, but you are <b>rank</b>, Baby Boy. Whew!" Ryan teased with a grin.</p><p>"Fuck you, Walker," Shepard said with a chuckle, unable to hide his amusement. "I didn't really have time to take a shower like you and Garrus. You ain't wrong, though. I <b>am</b> pretty ripe. I guess I'm lucky Kaidan was still interested enough to flirt back with me."</p><p>"Baby Boy, there's nothing sexier than a hard-working man, and you are the epitome of a hard-working man. It's only natural for him to be attracted to you. I mean, who wouldn't be?" Ryan grinned, "Anyway, I think you need to try to get him alone. It's obvious you aren't going to get anywhere as long as his cousin's around."</p><p>"Yeah. I wonder what her deal is?" Shepard wondered aloud.</p><p>"Maybe she likes you and is jealous of Kaidan," Ryan suggested.</p><p>"Nah. That girl can't stand me. Believe me, I can tell," Shepard replied truthfully.</p><p>"Hn. I don't know then. Maybe she's just a bitch?" Ryan said with a crooked grin.</p><p>Shepard couldn't help but laugh. "Maybe. I guess I'll have to think of a way to get Kaidan alone, eh."</p><p>"Looks like it," Ryan agreed with a smile.</p><p>"Easier said than done," Shepard admitted as he leaned his head against the window, hoping he could find a way to finally be alone with his crush.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next Chapter:  Hailey's hate comes to a head—</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Hate</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hailey's hate comes to a head, and Shepard gets laid—</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>***WARNING***<br/>GRAPHIC SEXUAL CONTENT</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Hey, Mom," Shepard greeted his mother as he entered the house from the garage side-door.</p><p>"Hey, sweetheart," Kahlee smiled warmly at her son. "Where's your hockey bag?"</p><p>"Um— It's in the garage. I'm letting it air out. I gotta clean up my gear," Shepard informed his mother, "You know the routine after a game."</p><p>"It smells awful," Kahlee complained as she scrunched her nose in irritation.</p><p>"That might actually be me," Shepard admitted with an embarrassed grin, "I didn't get to shower before I left. I'm pretty rank."</p><p>"Oh. Do I even want to know why you skipped the showers?" Kahlee asked with a chuckle.</p><p>"Nope— probably not," Shepard grinned as he kissed his mother on the cheek. "I should head to the washroom and take a quick shower."</p><p>"Yeah, you do that," Kahlee agreed wholeheartedly.</p><p>"Oh, before I forget— I used the last cartridge in my headache kit," Shepard informed his mother as he rubbed his shoulder in nervous habit. "Can you remind me to refill it after dinner? I'll probably need another dose tonight." </p><p>"Are you okay? Was it a bad one?" Kahlee asked, feeling sorry for her son.</p><p>"You know how it is— all cluster headaches suck, but it's nothing I haven't dealt with before. I'm fine."</p><p>"Alright," Kahlee said as relief washed over her, "Go ahead, take your shower, then bring your hockey gear to the laundry room, and I'll take care of it."</p><p>"Thanks, Mom," Shepard smiled as he made his way to the washroom for a much-needed shower.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Later that evening—</b>
</p><p>"Hailey, can you, please, go tell your brother dinner's ready?" Kahlee requested as she continued to set the table.</p><p>"No, I'm not talking to him," Hailey pouted.</p><p>"<em>Sigh— </em> Hailey, hasn't this went on long enough? Don't you think it's time to forgive and forget?" Kahlee asked, hoping her daughter would see reason.</p><p>"No. I'd rather help you set the table than speak to him," Hailey said truthfully.</p><p>"There's no use arguing with her," Anderson explained, "I had the same conversation with her this afternoon. I'll go get John. Hailey can help you put the food on the table."</p><p>"Alright," Kahlee agreed with a nod. "Hailey, come on in the kitchen and help Mommy bring the food to the table."</p><p>"Okay," Hailey said with a smile, happy to get her way, as she followed her mother into the kitchen.</p><p>It only took Anderson a few seconds to get to Shepard's bedroom door. "Son, are you awake? It's time for dinner."</p><p>"Yeah. I'll be right there," Shepard called out from his bed, stretching his arms over his head before rising to his feet.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"The salmon looks delicious, honey," Anderson praised as he took a fillet and passed the dish to Shepard.</p><p>"Fish again," Hailey pouted, clearly not a fan of the menu, "We had fish on Tuesday."</p><p>"Salmon is good for you, Hailey. It's good for your brain and helps with memory," Kahlee explained as Shepard attempted to pass the dish to Hailey.</p><p>After several seconds of Hailey ignoring him, Shepard finally spoke, "Don't you want a piece of salmon, Hailey? It's really good."</p><p>The young girl continued to ignore her brother until Shepard finally gave up and sat the dish back onto the table.</p><p>"Daddy, can you, please, pass the salmon?" Hailey requested, still refusing to look at her brother.</p><p>Anderson sighed a heavy sigh and passed the dish to his daughter.</p><p>"Thank you, Daddy," Hailey said with a smile.</p><p>"How did Hailey's lesson go? Did she do well?" Anderson asked, trying to make his son feel a bit more welcome at the table.</p><p>"I dunno," Shepard admitted, "You'd have to ask Ryan. I skated on the opposite side of where they were."</p><p>"Why would you do that?" Kahlee asked in confusion.</p><p>Shepard glanced briefly at his little sister before answering. "I just wanted to be alone, I guess," Shepard lied, trying his best not to get Hailey in trouble.</p><p>"You know, John, you could put in a little more effort when it comes to Hailey," Kahlee said in a scolding tone that made Shepard's brow furrow in uneasiness.</p><p>"Yes, ma'am," Shepard quietly spoke, causing Anderson to catch his son's lie.</p><p>"Hailey didn't want you there, did she?" Anderson softly asked, not wanting to cause an argument but wanting to know the truth.</p><p>Shepard's sapphire-blue eyes flicked up to meet his father's brown ones, silently pleading for him to let it go. "No, sir. It was my choice."</p><p>"<em>Sigh— </em> Just try harder to get along with her. Please, John— for me," Kahlee pleaded as she gently touched his hand.</p><p>"I understand," Shepard mumbled as he continued to pick at his food.</p><p>"Mommy, can we have mac-and-cheese tomorrow?" Hailey asked, hoping for a change-up in their dinner routine. "I'm getting tired of fish and chicken."</p><p>"No, I'm sorry, baby," Kahlee said apologetically.</p><p>"Why not?" Hailey asked as she picked at her salmon.</p><p>"John can't have things like that right now. Maybe in a week or two— is that alright with you?" Kahlee asked, hoping her daughter would understand.</p><p>"It's not fair," Hailey pouted. "We shouldn't have to eat stuff just because he has to eat it."</p><p>Shepard's frown deepened as he began to bounce his knee, growing more anxious by the second.</p><p>"Hailey, that's enough," Anderson said in a firm but gentle tone.</p><p>"How about a compromise? I'll make you some mac-and-cheese for your lunch tomorrow. How does that sound?" Kahlee asked with a smile.</p><p>"Okay, but I still think it's not fair," Hailey said as she begrudgingly took a bite of her salmon.</p><p>"I'm going to Ryan's," Shepard announced as he abruptly rose from his seat at the table and bolted out the side-door without another word.</p><p>"<em>Sigh— </em>that boy," Anderson said aloud as he continued to eat his meal.</p><p>"David," Kahlee said in an annoyed voice, "Aren't you going to stop him?"</p><p>"He's alright," Anderson insisted as he tried to finish his meal in peace. "He just needs some space. He'll be back."</p><p>"How come he gets to leave the table without asking?" Hailey asked, upset with the entire situation. </p><p>"That's a very good question, sweetie," Kahlee agreed as she looked in her fiancé's direction, "Well, David? Are you going to answer your daughter?"</p><p>"Nope," Anderson simply replied as he continued to eat his meal. </p><p>"David, I know he's sick and probably not feeling well, but he was very rude," Kahlee said truthfully.</p><p>"He wasn't the only one rude tonight. I got a feeling that's why he felt the need to take off," Anderson replied honestly.</p><p>Kahlee's brow furrowed as she considered what her husband had said. "You have a point, but he can't keep running away. He needs to at least try to make things better."</p><p>"I'll talk to him," Anderson promised as he finally finished his meal. "Do you need any help with the dishes?"</p><p>"No, not tonight. Hailey offered to help. We're making sundaes after we do the dishes. Do you want one?" Kahlee asked as she started clearing the table.</p><p>"Sure," Anderson said with a grin as he helped his fiancée gather the plates.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p><em> 'I don't know how much longer you can take that kinda shit,' </em> the voice said truthfully, <em> 'It's leaving your mind wide open for the trash to settle in. And there ain't no room in here for squatters. You need to get laid.' </em></p><p>"Yeah, I really fuckin' do, but I can't go to Alex's place. He and Ryan are having a special dinner, and there ain't no way in hell I'm messing that up for them," Shepard replied anxiously.</p><p><em> 'I hate myself for suggesting it, but you could go to a club,' </em>the voice suggested.</p><p>"Yeah— I reckon that's my only option. Something quick and dirty, I guess," Shepard said with a heavy sigh, "It wouldn't be the first time I had sex with a random dude, and I doubt it'll be the last. I really fucking hate myself sometimes."</p><p><em> 'Yeah, I know,' </em> the voice said sympathetically, <em> 'But the alternative ain't really an option. We both know what'll happen if you don't clear your head.' </em></p><p>"True enough," Shepard admitted as he made his way to the nearest club.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>Shepard had only just arrived outside the club when an attractive young Asian approached him. The young man was quite a bit shorter than Shepard, with light-brown eyes and short dark-brown hair. His build was slight, and he had an arrogant air about him that Shepard immediately disliked.</p><p>'I already wanna punch this fucker out, and he's only checking me out,' Shepard admitted silently, 'I've seen his kind before— a bored rich kid looking to slum-it up.'</p><p><em> 'Remember, you don't gotta like him to fuck him. If he gets your dick hard, that's good enough,' </em>the voice reminded the blue-eyed teen, not wanting Shepard to punch the guy out.</p><p>'Yeah, yeah— I know the drill,' Shepard replied silently.</p><p>"You are one fine looking dude," the young man grinned as he licked his lips in appreciation of Shepard's physique.</p><p>"Uh-huh," Shepard said simply.</p><p>"Not a big talker, huh," the young man said, "I like that. You look like a DTES guy. I'll bet you're local."</p><p>"Now, what makes you say that," Shepard asked curiously, slightly annoyed by the observation.</p><p>"You look like you know how to have a good time— not like those uptight pussies where I'm from. You got an edge to you the rich fucks just don't have," the young man explained as he continued to look up and down Shepard's body.</p><p>"Is that right? Let me guess, you're from West Vancouver," Shepard surmised.</p><p>"Very good," the young man grinned, pleased with Shepard's skills of observation.</p><p>"I hate you rich fucks," Shepard admitted with a smirk. "You think you're so goddamn special. Well, you people ain't shit."</p><p>The young man laughed heartily at the blue-eyed beauty— loving his fiery spirit. "I fucking love that about DTES boys, always so bitter. It gives your kind flavour, and all that hate makes the sex so much better," the young man said with a wicked grin as he gently touched Shepard's chest, running his hand slowly up the blue-eyed teen's chest— admiring the muscularity of it.</p><p>"So, you wanna fuck or not?" Shepard asked, growing tired of the man's game. "I'm a vers, so top or bottom don't matter to me. I'm sick of your shit, and I ain't got all goddamn night, so hurry up and make a decision."</p><p>"Wow, that was blunt. I don't think I've ever had anyone talk to me that way— I think I like it," the young man smirked, his light-brown eyes shining in a mixture of lust and amusement.</p><p>"Whatever," Shepard said, rolling his sapphire-blue eyes in frustration as he started to walk away.</p><p>"Wait! Follow me if you wanna fuck," the young man instructed as he turned and walked away with Shepard following close behind.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"Do you mind if we fuck in my car?" The young man asked as he hit the button on his keychain, effectively unlocking the door. </p><p>"We can fuck in the goddamn alley for all I care," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p><p>"Seriously," the young man laughed lightheartedly, "I hit the motherlode tonight."</p><p>"Yeah, it's your lucky night. It ain't gonna be as good in the car, though. I'm a tall motherfucker, and your car's backseat is fucking tiny," Shepard explained truthfully, "But if that's where you wanna fuck, that's fine."</p><p>"You wanna get a hotel room?" The young man asked curiously.</p><p>"I don't care one way or the other. I just wanna fuck and be on my way," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p><p>"You better be as good as you act like you are," the young stranger said as he motioned for Shepard to get into the passenger's seat.</p><p>"I'm better," Shepard said with a cocky grin.</p><p>"We'll see," the young man grinned as he drove towards the closest hotel.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>As soon as they closed the hotel room door, the two young men were all over each other, biting, licking, and sucking their way down each other's bodies.</p><p>Shepard quickly removed his shirt, tossing it aside, before quickly reaching for the smaller man's shirt, removing it as well.</p><p>"Tattoos— Nice," the young man grinned wickedly, as he began unbuttoning Shepard's jeans. "Time to see what you're packing."</p><p>Shepard just laughed a bit as the young man slowly exposed Shepard's semi-erect cock.</p><p>"That's impressive," the young man said, eyes wide in appreciation. "A nice size for sure. Can you use it?"</p><p>"You're about to find out," Shepard grinned as he kissed the young man hard, letting his tongue explore the depths of his mouth. </p><p>"I can't wait for you to fuck me," the young man said as he hastily removed the rest of his clothing— moaning, loudly, when Shepard fell to his knees, taking the young man's cock into his mouth. "Oh, fuck!"</p><p>"You wanna cum before I fuck you?" Shepard asked as he gently mouthed the head.</p><p>"If you let me fuck your throat, then the answer's yes," the young man replied with a wink.</p><p>"Done— but you better not cum down my throat," Shepard warned as he allowed the young man to use his throat until he was on the verge of cumming.</p><p>"Fuck, I'm so close. I'm gonna cum down your goddamn throat," the young stranger groaned— attempting to hold Shepard in place, causing the blue-eyed blonde to forcibly push him away just in time to avoid the brunt of the other man's orgasm.</p><p>"I fucking told you not to cum in my mouth," Shepard growled as he spat in annoyance, "You're fucking lucky I pulled away before you fucking exploded. Ugh— I still got some of it in my goddamn mouth."</p><p>The young stranger laughed at the blue-eyed beauty. "Relax. I'm clean— my cum won't get you sick."</p><p>"Yeah, sure it won't," Shepard said sarcastically, as he rolled his eyes at the cocky young man.</p><p>"Aw— don't be like that. It was such a good blowjob. You looked so damn good with my cock down your throat that I just couldn't resist trying to flood your throat. You know how it is," the young man said with a smile.</p><p>"Fucking rich, entitled asshole," Shepard growled as he grabbed the young stranger —kissing him hard before— eventually— taking the man's bottom lip into his mouth, biting hard enough to draw blood.</p><p>"Ow! What the fuck!? That hurt, dude," the young man complained.</p><p>"Shut the fuck up and get on the goddamn bed," Shepard demanded. "Get your ass in the air. You want fucked, you're gonna get fucked."</p><p>Shepard's sudden aggressiveness aroused the young man to no end. "This is gonna be so fucking good."</p><p>Shepard wasted no time— preparing the young man quickly and efficiently. Wasting no time, Shepard hastily opened the condom. Once the condom was in place, Shepard quickly added more lubricant before entering the young man in one swift motion— burying himself to the hilt inside the young man.</p><p>"Ow! Fuck! Slow down— you're too goddamn big. Ease up, eh." The young man pleaded with tears streaming down his face.</p><p>"Shut the fuck up. I know what I'm doing. That was just a little payback. Trust me— I'll have you begging for more in a few minutes," Shepard assured the young man as he slowly started to move— adjusting his angle slightly until—</p><p>"Oh, god! There! Right there! It feels so fucking good," the young man squealed in delight as Shepard began thrusting harder into the young man.</p><p>Shepard remained fairly quiet as he continued to use the young man's body— thrusting even harder than before, a rough and brutal pace— desperately chasing his release.</p><p>"Oh, fuck! I'm fucking cumming again," the young man screamed as he gripped the sheets tighter, cumming hands-free as Shepard continued to assault that spot deep within him.</p><p>Shepard couldn't help but laugh at how easy it had been to make the cocky young man come undone. </p><p>Shepard continued pounding into the young man until finally, his body stilled, and his hips jerked in satisfaction. Once he was fully spent, he allowed himself to fall atop the smaller man.</p><p>"Fuck, that was good," the young man said as he slowly came down from his high, "I can already tell I'm going to be sore as fuck, but it was SO worth it. I don't think I've ever had it so rough. I never thought I'd like it, but you— you are something else. You really know how to use your cock."</p><p>"Hn," Shepard said nothing more as he disposed of the condom and began to redress.</p><p>"Are you in a hurry?" The young man asked with a chuckle.</p><p>"Yep," Shepard simply stated as he sat back down on the bed to put on his shoes.</p><p>The young man took the opportunity to kiss Shepard's neck slowly, causing Shepard to pull away.</p><p>"What? No goodbye kiss?" The young man grinned in amusement. </p><p>Shepard continued to ignore the man as he finished with his shoes.</p><p>"You wanna do this again sometime?" The young stranger asked, confident that this wouldn't be their only encounter.</p><p>"Nope," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p><p>"Oh, come on! You know you wanna do me again," The young man insisted, "After the mindblowing sex we just had— you know you want more."</p><p>Shepard ignored the man as he finished getting dressed.</p><p>"So strong and stoic," the young man said, smiling as he licked his lips, "Such a perfect mix. I'm Jin Leng, by the way."</p><p>"Don't care," Shepard said as he moved to open the door.</p><p>"Stop! You had your dick my ass less than fifteen minutes ago. The least you can do is give me your name," Jin insisted.</p><p>"Look, Jin, or whatever the fuck your name is, I ain't interested in you AT ALL! We hooked up, it's over, and now I'm leaving," Shepard explained. "I'm sorry if that bothers you. Have a nice life."</p><p>"Just tell me your name— that's all I'm asking of you," Jin pleaded once more.</p><p>"Dude, get help," Shepard suggested as he finally exited the room, slamming the door shut behind him.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p><em> 'Damn— that rich boy caught feelings fast, didn't he? You must have a magic dick,' </em>the voice joked, causing Shepard to snicker.</p><p>"Nah, he didn't catch feelings. His type ain't capable of it. He just wants a DTES boy to be his own personal plaything," Shepard corrected the voice in his head.</p><p><em> 'Was the sex good, at least,' </em>the voice asked curiously, cause it didn't feel like anything special to me.</p><p>"It felt good, but even bad sex feels good when you're horny," Shepard admitted truthfully, "My head ain't as fucked now, so it was good enough, I guess."</p><p><em> 'So, in the end, it was really just so-so,' </em>the voice inquired.</p><p>"Yep," Shepard answered with a nod as he made his way back home.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>Shepard got home at around ten, just in time to overhear Hailey talking to their mother and father.</p><p>"We really had fun tonight, didn't we?" Hailey asked her mother and father as she stifled a yawn.</p><p>"We sure did, baby girl," Anderson replied with a proud smile.</p><p>"We should do it more often," Kahlee suggested as she kissed her daughter on the top of her tiny head.</p><p>Shepard smiled from the shadows as he quietly observed the family he had grown to love so very much.</p><p>"We could do even more stuff like this if Loco wasn't here," Hailey pouted, causing Shepard's smile to turn to a frown.</p><p>Unable to take it anymore, Shepard snapped— bursting from the shadows to confront his little sister. "Hailey, if you want me dead so goddamn much, consider me gone! You want me to be a ghost— I'm a goddamn ghost! You'll never hear another fucking word from me! That I can promise you," Shepard called out, his voice cracking as he tried to hold back the tears.</p><p>"John! You need to calm down," Kahlee called out, trying her best to diffuse the situation.</p><p>"Listen to your mother, Son," Anderson stated softly.</p><p>"No, Dad! I'm sick of it! If she wants me dead, then I'll be a ghost. I won't bother her no more," Shepard promised as a few tears finally escaped his too-blue eyes.</p><p>"Good! I don't ever wanna talk to you again anyway! All you do is make things worse. You're a bad person," Hailey yelled with tears in her eyes as she ran to her room.</p><p>"Yeah, maybe I am," Shepard admitted quietly as he slowly walked to his room, leaving his stunned parents alone in the living room.</p><p>"Oh, David, what are we going to do? Things can't keep going like this. You need to talk to John," Kahlee insisted.</p><p>"I don't think I do. I think John has the right idea," Anderson admitted truthfully.</p><p>"David, how can you say that!?" Kahlee asked in shocked surprise.</p><p>"It might teach Hailey a valuable lesson," Anderson explained, "It may even show her just how lonely and hard life would be without her big brother."</p><p>"I hope you're right," Kahlee said as she hugged her fiancé tight. </p><p>"Me too, honey. Me too," Anderson said as he kissed his wife's forehead.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next Chapter:  Shepard receives a visit from someone very dear—</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Ghost</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Shepard receives a visit from someone very dear—</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"John, can you please go tell Hailey that breakfast is ready?" Kahlee asked as she poured herself a cup of coffee.</p>
<p>"Nope," Shepard replied as he grabbed a bottle from the fridge.</p>
<p>"John, you've been ignoring her for three days now. It's time to stop, don't you think?" Kahlee asked, tired of her son's attitude.</p>
<p>"Nope," Shepard replied again as he swallowed his morning medication.</p>
<p>"ENOUGH, JOHN! It's time to grow up and stop acting like a spoiled child," Kahlee demanded, her anger getting the better of her.</p>
<p>"Why do you always do that!? You always call me a kid and make me out to be the bad guy. You blame <b>me</b> for everything! I can't stand it no more. Your precious Hailey is the one always pushing me away, and— when I finally give her what she wants— you still get pissed at <b>me</b>! So tell me— what the fuck am I supposed to do?" Shepard screamed, no longer able to ignore his mother's words.</p>
<p>"You don't think that— maybe— if you acted more like an adult and tried to actually <b>talk</b> to her that things might get a little better," Kahlee replied, trying to get her son to see things her way. "John, I love you— and this might be difficult for you to hear— but you're running away— just like you always do. You never try to talk things out like a normal human being— you just get angry and run like a scared little boy."</p>
<p>"Whatever! I'm going to Ryan's," Shepard announced as he made his way towards the side‐door.</p>
<p>"See! You're doing it now! You're running away," Kahlee insisted as she followed him to the door.</p>
<p>"I'm leaving before I take somebody's goddamn head off," Shepard growled as he opened the side-door and made his way into the garage.</p>
<p>"Do you want me to call Doctor Smith? Do you want to be hospitalized again? Because it certainly feels like that's what you're aiming for," Kahlee asked anxiously.</p>
<p>"I don't give a fuck who you call! You want me gone that bad, just say the word, and you won't see me no more," Shepard yelled back as he continued on towards the street.</p>
<p>"John, I never said that! Stop twisting my words," Kahlee said in frustration. "John!"</p>
<p>Shepard never said another word. He just headed on towards his destination.</p>
<p>"<em>Sigh— </em> What the hell are we gonna do with that kid? " Kahlee whispered to herself as she made her way back into the house.</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p><em> 'What the hell was her problem? Does she not see how Hailey instigated all of this?' </em>The voice asked in confusion. </p>
<p>"Hailey is her baby. Kahlee thinks her little angel can do no wrong— of course— she's gonna take her side," Shepard explained truthfully. "And that's fine— I don't mind. It's just— she obviously don't want me around no more, whether she admits it or not. I think that's partly the reason Kahlee's siding with Hailey— Or maybe she's right, and I'm just pouting like a goddamn child."</p>
<p><em> 'I noticed you didn't call her Mom. You ain't giving up on your family, are you?' </em> The voice asked curiously.</p>
<p>"No, but it sure as hell feels like they're ready to give up on me," Shepard admitted truthfully— as he boarded the bus heading for Keefer Street.</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK—</b>
</p>
<p>"Hey, Baby Boy," Ryan greeted as he hugged his beloved friend tight. "I was just on my way to get you. Is something up?"</p>
<p>"Yeah, you could say that," Shepard admitted as he fidgeted slightly, rocking back-and-forth on the soles of his feet. "Can I come in?"</p>
<p>"Oh, my bad," Ryan apologized as he motioned for Shepard to enter the apartment. "You look very stressed out. Did something happen?"</p>
<p>"Yeah, you could say that. I think I just fucked things up with Kahlee. I mean, <b>REALLY</b> fucked things up," Shepard said sadly.</p>
<p>"What happened?" Ryan asked in a sympathetic tone as he and Shepard took a seat on the couch.</p>
<p>"You know how Hailey's been treating me, right? Well, a few days ago, I came home, and there was Hailey— sitting with our parents— having a great time. It made me happy— then, about two minutes later, she says that they could have fun like that more often if I wasn't around," Shepard explained, his sapphire eyes growing sadder by the minute, "It hurt so fuckin' bad to hear that. I—I just lost it. I went off on Hailey and told her that if she wanted me dead that bad, I'd become a ghost. I haven't spoken to her since."</p>
<p>"Okay. I don't see as you did anything wrong there. I think it might actually be a good thing. It might wake her up a bit," Ryan said as he gently patted his melancholic friend on the back.</p>
<p>"Yeah, that's what I was hoping for, but so far, nothing's changed. And Kahlee's blaming me for everything— saying I'm acting like a childish brat and that I need to grow up," Shepard continued, "She made me so goddamn angry! It's like she doesn't see the way Hailey treats me. I just couldn't take it no more, Ryan. I yelled at her and told her I was coming here. She accused me of running away like a scared little boy, but I had to get out of there. I felt so angry— like I was gonna snap any goddamn minute. When I was leaving, she threatened to call Doctor Smith and have me admitted to the hospital again."</p>
<p>"That's rough," Ryan admitted, feeling sad for his best friend's predicament. "Are you sure you can't talk things out with her?"</p>
<p>"I talk, but she just don't hear me, Ryan," Shepard said as he rubbed his face hard. "I told her how I felt, but she just didn't seem to understand what I was saying. That's probably on me, though. I ain't good at talking."</p>
<p>"You wanna stay here tonight?" Ryan asked, hoping it would give his friend a reprieve from his troubles.</p>
<p>"Nah. I appreciate the offer, but I think it would just piss her off more," Shepard said with an appreciative smile.</p>
<p>"Yeah, you're probably right," Ryan admitted with a grin. "You look tired. Are you sure you're feeling okay?"</p>
<p>"I admit, I ain't feeling the best right now," Shepard replied honestly. </p>
<p>"Is it a seizure?" Ryan asked as he gently rubbed his friend's back.</p>
<p>"I don't think so. I'm pretty sure my seizure meds are doing their job now," Shepard explained, "I think I'm just getting another goddamn headache."</p>
<p>"Did you bring your kit?" Ryan asked anxiously.</p>
<p>"No," Shepard replied, "I didn't have any signs of it before I left."</p>
<p>"Do you want to lie down?" Ryan offered.</p>
<p>"Nah. I need to get home before it starts," Shepard said as he stretched his arms above his head.</p>
<p>"Do you want me to drive you? You'll get there faster," Ryan said with a wink.</p>
<p>"Sure," Shepard agreed as he followed his friend out of the building.</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>"We're here, Baby Boy, " Ryan announced as he pulled into the drive. "It looks like your mom's here. Do you need me to come in and hang for a while?"</p>
<p>"Nah. I'll be alright. Tell Alex I said hey. Be careful on your drive back. Love you, Walker," Shepard called out as he made his way toward the door.</p>
<p>"Will do," Ryan assured his friend as he pulled out of the drive. "Call me tonight, J. I love you. Don't forget to take your shot!"</p>
<p>"I won't," Shepard promised with a grin as he made his way inside.</p>
<p>"Where have you been?" Kahlee asked anxiously. "I've been worried sick about you."</p>
<p>"Yeah, I'm sorry. I was at Ryan's, like I said," Shepard answered truthfully.</p>
<p>"John, please don't ever walk away while I'm talking to you. It's disrespectful. You understand that, right?"</p>
<p>"Yes, Kahlee, I understand. I'm not five," Shepard said in a grouchy tone as he headed to the kitchen to retrieve his headache pen.</p>
<p>Kahlee's heart sank when Shepard called her by her given name rather than Mom. "A-are you feeling okay? You'd tell me if something was wrong, wouldn't you?"</p>
<p>"Yes. I'd tell you. I'm just getting a headache. That's all," Shepard explained as he retrieved the kit from the cabinet.</p>
<p>Kahlee could tell her son was in pain, and it broke her heart to know there was nothing she could do for him.</p>
<p>She watched— closely— as Shepard loaded the pen and quickly injected the medication into his upper arm.</p>
<p>"Do you want to lie down?" Kahlee asked, trying her best to be helpful.</p>
<p>"No, that don't work on a cluster headache. Fuck!" Shepard cried out as another stabbing pain shot straight through his eye. "It'll ease off in a few minutes."</p>
<p>Kahlee nodded as she continued to watch her son as he paced the floor in agony.</p>
<p>Once the medication kicked in, Shepard's behaviour changed drastically— he stopped pacing and appeared less stressed than he had been. </p>
<p>It was about that time that Hailey entered the kitchen, trying her best to ignore her brother as she retrieved a bottle of juice from the fridge.</p>
<p>"Mommy, can you open this for me?" Hailey asked with a smile.</p>
<p>"Get your brother to open it," Kahlee instructed her daughter, determined to get her children to interact with one another.</p>
<p>"Do I have to?" Hailey pouted.</p>
<p>"Yes. You have to," Kahlee demanded in a firm tone.</p>
<p>"Open this for me," Hailey mumbled as she tried to hand Shepard the bottle.</p>
<p>Shepard said nothing. He just turned his head to the side, refusing to acknowledge her presence.</p>
<p>"Mommy, Loco won't open my juice!" Hailey whined as she stomped her tiny feet in irritation.</p>
<p>"John, stop acting like a child and open the juice," Kahlee insisted, causing Shepard to walk away from them both and head for his bedroom. "JOHN DEVON SHEPARD! DON'T YOU DARE WALK AWAY FROM ME!"</p>
<p>Kahlee sighed in frustration as she hastily opened Hailey's juice. "Here, sweetie. You need to look over your brother— he's acting a bit childish."</p>
<p>"He's a brat!" Hailey insisted as she took a drink of her juice.</p>
<p>Kahlee chuckled a bit at her daughter. "Yes, I suppose he is."</p>
<p>"Mommy, can we order pizza for dinner?" Hailey asked, giving her mother her best angelic look.</p>
<p>"Sure. I'll text Daddy and tell him to pick one up for us," Kahlee agreed as she texted away on her phone. "Do you want to help me fix something for John? He's not really supposed to have pizza just yet."</p>
<p>"Can't he just eat leftovers?" Hailey asked with a whine.</p>
<p>"No, he can't just eat leftovers. We'll make him a nice salad. It's simple and doesn't take too long to make," Kahlee explained, hoping her daughter would help.</p>
<p>"Okay, I'll help— but no pizza for him," Hailey insisted, causing her mother to laugh in amusement.</p>
<p>"Whatever you say, sweetie," Kahlee said as she began to prepare the salad.</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>One hour later—</b>
</p>
<p>"Pizza's here," Anderson called out as he made his way into the dining room. "I brought soda as well. I got everyone's favourites— meat lovers for me, pepperoni and cheese for Hailey, Margherita for Kahlee, and deluxe for Shepard."</p>
<p>"Loco can't have any. He has to eat a salad," Hailey announced with a snicker.</p>
<p>"I think he can skip the diet for one night," Anderson insisted.</p>
<p>"David, I don't think that's a good idea. He's still experiencing mood swings," Kahlee explained as she retrieved some paper plates from the pantry.</p>
<p>"Something smells good," Shepard said as he made his way into the dining room.</p>
<p>"It's pizza, but you can't have any," Hailey said, sticking her tongue out at her brother.</p>
<p>"Hailey! That's enough. Behave, or leave the table," Anderson warned.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry, Daddy," Hailey apologized as she glared at her big brother.</p>
<p>"David, I told you, John can't have pizza right now," Kahlee insisted as she started serving up the pizza.</p>
<p>"A few slices isn't gonna hurt him," Anderson insisted. </p>
<p>"No. And that's final," Kahlee stated firmly.</p>
<p>"It's fine. I ain't hungry no more. I'm gonna go tinker with my bike," Shepard said as he headed to the garage.</p>
<p>"Would it have killed you to let the boy eat something other than brain food?" Anderson asked, slightly annoyed by his fiancee's behaviour.</p>
<p>"No. I think there's still too much damage. I don't want to risk him getting worse," Kahlee explained as she took a bite of her pizza.</p>
<p>Anderson just sighed as he began to eat. "How was your day?"</p>
<p>"Awful," Kahlee admitted, "John and I fought— again. He's being childish and lashing out— becoming a bit more violent. I think we should call Doctor Smith."</p>
<p>"Let me talk to him before you start trying to have him hospitalized," Anderson insisted. </p>
<p>"Why do you always defend him?" Kahlee asked curiously.</p>
<p>"I don't always defend him," Anderson said with an amused chuckle, "In fact, I come down pretty hard on him sometimes."</p>
<p>"No, you don't," Kahlee chuckled. "You always let him storm off whenever he wants. You never make him stay and talk things out like a normal, rational adult. You just allow him to run away."</p>
<p>"See, the thing is, I <b>know </b>my son. You can't treat him the way you do normal, rational people— because he's not normal or rational. His brain doesn't work like ours. He's not running away when he storms off— he's trying to calm down so he won't hurt anyone," Anderson explained, "Once he calms down, everything goes back to normal, and he's as gentle as a lamb again."</p>
<p>"But he doesn't learn anything, and nothing ever gets fixed. The problem just lingers under the surface until it festers again," Kahlee explained, hoping her fiancé would understand her point of view.</p>
<p>"Is this about Hailey?" Anderson asked curiously.</p>
<p>"He's mean to me," Hailey said with a pout as she continued to eat her food.</p>
<p>"What did he do?" Anderson asked, dreading the answer.</p>
<p>"He refuses to acknowledge her existence," Kahlee answered truthfully.</p>
<p>"Kinda like how Hailey ignored him," Anderson reminded his fiancée.</p>
<p>"That's different! Hailey's a baby— she doesn't know any better. She's only venting. John's seventeen years old— He's acting like a child," Kahlee insisted.</p>
<p>"I don't think what John's doing is wrong, but if you want me to talk to him, I will," Anderson promised as he continued to eat his pizza.</p>
<p>"He called me Kahlee today— instead of Mom," Kahlee informed her fiancé casually as she took a bite of her pizza.</p>
<p>"I'm sure he doesn't mean anything by it," Anderson said, hoping he was speaking the truth.</p>
<p>"I think he's really angry at me for scolding him," Kahlee said with a sad grin. </p>
<p>"He'll get over it. I'll put away the leftovers. You can go get Hailey's bath ready," Anderson suggested as he disposed of the used paper plates.</p>
<p>"Thanks, honey," Kahlee said gratefully, as she took her daughter by the hand, "How about a bubble bath. Does that sound good, Hailey?"</p>
<p>"Yay! I love bubbles," Hailey happily replied.</p>
<p>"Have fun, baby girl," Anderson called out as they exited the dining room.</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>Anderson quietly opened the side-door to the garage and peeked inside. Shepard was sitting on the ground next to his bike— alone in the dark. Anderson entered the garage and made his presence known to the young blonde.</p>
<p>"You ready to call it a night?" Anderson asked, noticing how tired the boy looked.</p>
<p>"In a minute," Shepard said with a sad smile that broke Anderson's heart.</p>
<p>"Here. I know you must be starving," Anderson said as he handed the small box of pizza to his son, as well as a bottle of water.</p>
<p>"I don't want Kahlee to get mad. She already hates me enough," Shepard quietly replied as he sat the box to the side.</p>
<p>"Son, Kahlee doesn't hate you. She loves you. She just doesn't understand you," Anderson explained, trying to get his son to understand. "Maybe you should try to talk to her about how you feel— help her to see your side of things."</p>
<p>"I tried, but she just don't hear me," Shepard said in frustration, "She just blames everything on me— like Hailey ain't never done nothin' wrong. No matter what I do to make Hailey happy, I end up being labeled the bad guy. So, I don't know what to do! I just ain't good enough or smart enough to figure it out. What the hell do they want from me? I can't take it no more, Daddy. It makes me not wanna be here."</p>
<p>Anderson listened closely to his son. He could see the turmoil inside— and it scared him to no end.</p>
<p>"Do you want to go stay with Ryan for a while? Is that what you're trying to say?" Anderson asked, unsure of what his son actually wanted.</p>
<p>Shepard laughed bitterly. "You want me gone too?"</p>
<p>"What!? NO! Never! Why would you think that?" Anderson asked anxiously.</p>
<p>"Kahlee— Mom threatened to call Doctor Smith and have me hospitalized again. But I ain't manic, Daddy. I swear, I ain't. And I ain't seeing shit. So she must just want me gone. There ain't no other explanation, is there?" Shepard asked nervously, afraid of the answer.</p>
<p>"She only said that because she was worried about you. She thought you were going to hurt yourself," Anderson said as he gently rubbed his son's back.</p>
<p>"No, Daddy— she was afraid I was gonna hurt her. I could see it in the way she looked at me," Shepard admitted truthfully. "But, I wouldn't hurt her. I'd kill myself before I'd ever let myself do something like that. She's my mom— I love her."</p>
<p>"I know, Son," Anderson said as he tried to comfort his son. "It's getting late, and you look exhausted. So, why don't you try to eat something— then head to bed."</p>
<p>"I don't want Mom to be mad at me," Shepard said as he handed the pizza back to his father.</p>
<p>"I'll tell her I ate it," Anderson chuckled as he insisted his son take the box.</p>
<p>"O—okay. Thanks for this," Shepard said, motioning to the small box of pizza, "I appreciate it."</p>
<p>"No problem, Son," Anderson smiled as he kissed his son on the temple. "I love you. Get some rest."</p>
<p>"Will do," Shepard promised with a smile. "I love you, Daddy. And, uh, thanks for the talk." </p>
<p>"Anytime, Son," Anderson smiled with a nod before making his way into the house.</p>
<p>"Thanks for understanding me," Shepard whispered as he took a bite of his pizza.</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>"John, I have to leave Hailey with you today. So, please, try not to upset her," Kahlee pleaded as she collected her things. "I have a meeting and won't be home until six. Don't worry about dinner. I have everything ready— all you have to do is heat it in the microwave."</p>
<p>"Understood," Shepard simply stated as he bounced back and forth on the balls of his feet.</p>
<p>"Are you okay?" Kahlee asked, noticing the nervous energy surrounding her son.</p>
<p>"I'm fine," Shepard assured her with a crooked smile.</p>
<p>"Be good. I love you. You know that, don't you?" Kahlee said as she gently touched his cheek.</p>
<p>"I love you too, Mom. Be careful, eh," Shepard replied with a smile.</p>
<p>Kahlee just smiled as she exited the house, leaving Shepard and Hailey all alone in the house.</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>The day was quiet, for the most part. Shepard did his best to avoid Hailey, letting her come and go as she pleased throughout the day. Everything was normal— right up until there was a knock on the door—</p>
<p>
  <b>KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK—</b>
</p>
<p>"I wonder who that could be?" Shepard asked aloud as he answered the door.</p>
<p>"Hello, J."</p>
<p>Shepard's heart nearly stopped at the sight of the older man—</p>
<p>"Mr. Hayes? Uh— P-please, come in," Shepard greeted as he motioned for the man to enter the house.</p>
<p>"J, you know you can call me Andrew. In fact, I would prefer it," Andrew insisted as he sat a rather large box onto the floor— next to the couch. </p>
<p>"What brings you here?" Shepard asked nervously.</p>
<p>"Are you not happy to see me, J?" Andrew asked with a smile.</p>
<p>"No, it's not that! I'm very happy to see you. It's just a surprise is all," Shepard assured the black-haired man. "Would you like something to drink?"</p>
<p>"Water's fine," Andrew answered with a smile. "You haven't texted me in a while. I thought maybe you had forgotten about me."</p>
<p>"Never," Shepard answered, truthfully, as he handed Andrew a bottle of water. "You're family, yeah."</p>
<p>"I'm glad you still feel that way. I was worried about you— Ryan said you had another bleed."</p>
<p>"Yeah. It stopped on its own, so I didn't need surgery or anything. It threw me into some pretty bad seizures, though," Shepard admitted.</p>
<p>"Have the seizures subsided?" Andrew asked, obviously concerned for the boy.</p>
<p>"Yeah. They have. I should be good to go by the time hockey season starts." Shepard said with a smile.</p>
<p>"That's great. I'll bet you can't wait," Andrew said with a knowing grin.</p>
<p>"You know me. I fucking love hockey," Shepard grinned. "Would you— would you be interested in coming to a few of our games? It would really mean a lot."</p>
<p>"I'd love to," Andrew agreed with a loving smile. "I really don't want to upset you, but I— well, I brought a few of Aaron's things— things that I know Aaron would want you to have. I'll understand if you choose not to look at them. I know how much you loved him."</p>
<p>"No. I'd like to see what you brought," Shepard replied— nervously— as he took a seat beside the man.</p>
<p>"Alright," Andrew smiled as he opened the top of the box. "Here's a few of Aaron's jerseys. I gave Ryan one, then decided to give the other three to you. I know how much you liked to wear them."</p>
<p>Shepard carefully took one of the jerseys from the man, treating it as if it were made of glass. He took his time with the jersey, slowly running a hand across the front before bringing it to his nose, closing his eyes, and inhaling the scent. "It smells like Aaron."</p>
<p>Andrew gave Shepard's hand a gentle squeeze. "I know."</p>
<p>The next thing he showed Shepard was a very large photo album, full of photos— photos of Aaron from every stage of life. There were several of Aaron and Ryan, goofing around and generally just being the rambunctious kids they were. Shepard couldn't help but smile at them. </p>
<p>"Is that Aaron as a baby?" Shepard asked, curiously, as his eyes lingered on the image.</p>
<p>"Yep. That's my baby boy," Andrew said proudly.</p>
<p>"He was a beautiful baby. I guess some things never change, huh," Shepard said with a melancholic smile.</p>
<p>"Indeed," Andrew agreed as he stared lovingly at the boy his son had loved so very much.</p>
<p>"These should be yours," Shepard insisted. "He was your son, after all."</p>
<p>"J, it's alright. I've already made copies. Please, son, I want you to have them," Andrew insisted as he flipped to another section of the book.</p>
<p>Shepard's eyes grew wide at the images he saw— there were tons of photos of Aaron and Shepard, dating back from the time when Shepard was just a six-year-old boy— tiny and determined.</p>
<p>"I didn't know he had these," Shepard whispered.</p>
<p>"Yeah, the rest of the album is filled with pictures of Aaron and his J," Andrew said with a smile. "That brings us to another album, a more <b>personal</b> album that Anna stumbled across."</p>
<p>"How personal?" Shepard asked nervously.</p>
<p>"Let's just say Anna no longer doubts that Aaron loved you," Andrew replied with a crooked grin, causing Shepard's face to turn red in embarrassment.</p>
<p>"Don't worry. These ones aren't dirty," Andrew snickered as he opened the album. "They're— mostly— of the two of you hugging, kissing, or just looking at each other. You made my son very happy."</p>
<p>"Not half as happy as he made me," Shepard said as he glanced through the album. "Ryan took these. Some of them I've never seen before."</p>
<p>"Ryan said he used to sneak and take pictures of the two of you for Aaron," Andrew explained. "Ryan said Aaron always lit up whenever he looked at them."</p>
<p>"I'm glad," Shepard said with tears in his eyes.</p>
<p>"I also have Aaron's phone. I assume you know the passcode," Andrew smiled, knowingly, as he handed the phone to Shepard.</p>
<p>"Yeah, it's 0411— my birthdate," Shepard replied softly.</p>
<p>"I know. It took Allie and me two hours to crack that code. We felt pretty stupid when we did. It was so obvious— all we had to do was think of the one thing Aaron loved most in this world," Andrew explained as he looked fondly on the boy. "There's some pretty, uh, intimate stuff on there. Allie and I were shocked, to say the least."</p>
<p>"I-I'm so sorry! That was all on me, I swear! Please don't think poorly of Aaron," Shepard pleaded.</p>
<p>"J, it's alright. You can calm down now. There's nothing wrong with what you two did in the privacy of your own bedroom. It was just unexpected for us to see. We know it was never meant for anyone else's eyes. That's why we wanted you to have the phone," Andrew explained.</p>
<p>"Your wife didn't see any of those, did she?" Shepard asked nervously.</p>
<p>"No. I don't think her heart could've taken it," Andrew chuckled as he handed Shepard a small box. "These are more intimate photos. Aaron apparently liked to watch you sleep. There are tons of you sleeping in there as well as things we won't mention. The box also contains some of Aaron's cologne and old jewelry— some old gauges, rings, things like that. He also kept your hospital bracelet from the night you nearly died."</p>
<p>"Why did he keep that?" Shepard asked in confusion.</p>
<p>"If I know my son, it was to remind him of just how close he came to losing you."</p>
<p>"Hn. Sorry for asking, but do you know what happened to his keychain— the old Canucks one," Shepard asked quietly.</p>
<p>"I put it in his trophy case. That keychain meant the world to him during the time you were separated. Whenever he missed you, he would sit and stare at it. He damn near wore it out," Andrew replied with a melancholic smile. "Do you want the keychain back? It's fine if you do. You got it for him, after all."</p>
<p>"No, that's alright. It should be with his trophies," Shepard said as he wiped the tears from his eyes.</p>
<p>"I have one more thing to give you," Andrew said as he handed the gift to Shepard.</p>
<p>"Aaron's laptop?" Shepard asked curiously. "This is— this should be yours."</p>
<p>"No, J. Trust me. This should definitely be yours," Andrew replied as he encouraged Shepard to start it up. "You know the passcode, I'm sure."</p>
<p>"Yeah," Shepard replied as he typed in the code.</p>
<p>"Aaron and I used to talk online all the time and, for whatever reason, he recorded our talks— and uploaded them to his laptop. There's one I want you to watch now," Andrew explained as he loaded the video, fast-forwarding to a certain point—</p>
<p>
  <b>***START OF VIDEO***</b>
</p>
<p>"I'm gonna ask J to marry me, Dad," Aaron said softly.</p>
<p>"I see— when?" Andrew asked curiously.</p>
<p>"Whattaya mean when? Now— like today, or a week from now when I get the ring," Aaron replied with a bright smile that melted Shepard's heart.</p>
<p>"Aaron, he's too young," Andrew explained. "He's still a baby."</p>
<p>"J's not a baby, Dad," Aaron argued. "He's old enough to know what he wants."</p>
<p>"Aaron, he's barely sixteen. There's no way his parents will allow it. Can't you at least wait until he graduates high school?" Andrew asked, trying to tell his son not to rush things.</p>
<p>"I love him, Dad. And I know he loves me. A few years isn't gonna change that. J can go to school from my apartment. Everything will be fine. Trust me, yeah," Aaron assured his father.</p>
<p>"What about your schooling? You can't drop out, Aaron— not now— not when you're so close to achieving what you want," Andrew pleaded, hoping his son would see reason.</p>
<p>"Dad, I'm not gonna drop out," Aaron chuckled, amused by his father's anxiousness. </p>
<p>"How do you plan on taking care of him? We both know, once you marry J, Anna will cut you off financially.  And even on the off-chance she doesn't cut you off, I doubt you can support him on the allowance we give you," Andrew explained. </p>
<p>"I'll get a part-time job. Trust me, Dad. I can do this. I can support my J just fine," Aaron insisted.</p>
<p>"Aaron, he's sick. You do remember that, don't you? His medication is expensive, and if you two marry, J will lose his father's insurance. You won't be able to afford his medication," Andrew replied anxiously.</p>
<p>Aaron thought on his father's words before answering—</p>
<p>"Okay. You win. I'll wait— but only to make sure I can give my J everything he needs," Aaron informed his father. "I love him, and I want what's best for him, yeah."</p>
<p>"You're doing the right thing, Son," Andrew assured Aaron with a smile. "I have to say, though— I am definitely looking forward to J becoming my new son-in-law. He's a fine young man, and I couldn't be prouder of your choice. So, when the time comes, I'll stand by you against Anna." </p>
<p>"Thanks, Dad. It means a lot," Aaron said with a warm smile.</p>
<p>
  <b>KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK—</b>
</p>
<p>"I gotta go, Dad. My baby's here. I'll tell him you said hi, yeah," Aaron said with a grin as he rose to turn off the camera. "Love you, Dad."</p>
<p>
  <b>***END OF VIDEO***</b>
</p>
<p>Shepard's eyes were full of tears as he stared at the blank screen.</p>
<p>"I was wrong, J. I should have let him do as he wished. The two of you deserved that much. I made an awful mistake, and now I'll never see my boy as a groom or watch his first dance with his new husband. Not only did I take that from Aaron, but I took it from you as well. Can you ever forgive me, J?" Andrew pleaded with tears pouring down his face as Shepard just broke down.</p>
<p>Shepard hugged the man as hard as he could— both of them crying for what might have been. </p>
<p>"You couldn't have known," Shepard cried.</p>
<p>"Forgive me, J," Andrew sobbed as he held the young blonde tight. "You'll always be a son to me. You know that, don't you?"</p>
<p>"I do," Shepard replied, truthfully, as Andrew kissed his forehead.</p>
<p>"I didn't mean to hurt you. I just thought you should know," Andrew explained as he wiped the tears from Shepard's sapphire-blue eyes.</p>
<p>"I'm glad. It made me happy. It really did," Shepard admitted, "And I ain't been too happy lately. So— thank you."</p>
<p>"You forgive me, then?" Andrew asked as he wiped a stray tear from Shepard's cheek.</p>
<p>"There ain't nothin' to forgive," Shepard said as he pressed his forehead to the older man's head. "Thank you for giving me this. I'll cherish it for as long as I live."</p>
<p>"I'm glad," Andrew said as a wave of relief washed over him.</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>The two talked for several more hours before Andrew had to take his leave.</p>
<p>"You be sure to call or text me at least once a week. I want to make sure that you're doing alright. And if you ever need anything— you call me, and I'll do whatever I can to help. I love you, J," Andrew said as he kissed Shepard on the forehead.</p>
<p>"I'll be sure to call you. I promise, yeah. I love you too. Drive safe, eh," Shepard said with a wave as he watched the older man pull out of the drive.</p>
<p>Once the older man was out of sight, Shepard returned to his place on the couch. Mentally exhausted, Shepard picked up one of Aaron's jerseys— breathing in the familiar scent before breaking down completely— wailing in agony, weeping uncontrollably for his lost love.</p>
<p>Shepard's cries were so loud that Hailey couldn't help but search out the source. Hailey's eyes grew wide at the condition of her brother—</p>
<p>Shepard was lying on the couch, holding one of Aaron's jerseys, and crying uncontrollably.</p>
<p>"Loco, are you alright," Hailey asked with tears in her big grey eyes.</p>
<p>"My Aaron's gone," Shepard cried as Hailey climbed next to him on the couch— wrapping her tiny arms around his neck— trying her best to comfort him.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry. I wish I could make it stop hurting," Hailey said as she kissed her big brother's cheek.</p>
<p>"I love you, Hailey. You know that, right?" Shepard said as he kissed her tiny forehead.</p>
<p>"I love you too, Loco. Please, don't cry. It'll be okay. I promise," Hailey whispered as she hugged him even tighter.</p>
<p>Shepard held his little sister tight as he continued to weep— grateful to have her by his side.</p>
<p>Hailey remained by her brother's side, curled up against his chest for the rest of the evening— doing her best to soothe him as they cried themselves to sleep. That was how Anderson and Kahlee found them when they returned home later that evening.</p>
<p>"What do we have here?" Kahlee wondered in amusement.</p>
<p>"It looks like they made up," Anderson replied, smiling fondly at his son and daughter.</p>
<p>"Should we wake them?" Kahlee asked, unsure whether or not they should break this moment of serenity.</p>
<p>"Nah. Let them sleep. They look too peaceful to disturb,"  Anderson whispered as he quietly followed his fiancée up the stairs.</p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next Chapter:  Shepard indulges in his desires—</p>
<p>This was a difficult chapter to write, but I think it's the one I'm most proud of.</p>
<p>I hope you are enjoying it so far. Thank you so much for reading.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Three's Company</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Shepard indulges in his desires—</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>***WARNING***<br/>STRONG SEXUAL CONTENT &amp; HYPERSEXUALITY</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next morning, Kahlee and Anderson were greeted with an unexpected scene:  Hailey laughing as she cheerfully watched her big brother attempting to make pancakes— and failing miserably.</p><p>"Good morning, Mommy. Good morning, Daddy," Hailey greeted her parents as she continued to watch her big brother in amusement. "Loco's making me some pancakes, but he isn't very good at it."</p><p>"Gimme a break, eh. I'm trying my best," Shepard admitted as he burned yet another batch. "Mom, can you please help me before Hailey starves to death?"</p><p>"Sure. I'll take over from here. You can go have a cup of coffee," Kahlee insisted with a grin.</p><p>"Thank fuck," Shepard said as he took a seat beside his little sister.</p><p>"Language, John," Kahlee scolded as she continued to prepare the food. "The batter is quite good. You just have the burner up too high. It's easier to use the griddle pan."</p><p>"The what now?" Shepard asked, cocking his brow in confusion.</p><p>Anderson couldn't help but laugh at his son. "You really don't know anything about cooking, do you, Son?"</p><p>"Not a goddamn thing. I'm totally fucking lost when it comes to cooking," Shepard admitted. "I just know enough to keep me from starving to death. I'm good at laundry, though. That was my usual job in the group home."</p><p>"Did you like it?" Hailey asked curiously.</p><p>"I guess. It was better than cleaning toilets," Shepard said with a shrug.</p><p>"What's in the box?" Anderson called out from the living room.</p><p>Shepard quickly rushed to his father's side.</p><p>"That's mine! Andrew dropped it off yesterday," Shepard explained nervously.</p><p>"Hn. What's in it?" Anderson asked curiously.</p><p>"Some of Aaron's things— things Andrew thought I should have," Shepard replied softly.</p><p>Anderson's teasing smile faded. "I see. Do you want me to bring the box to your room?"</p><p>"Nah. It's not heavy," Shepard said as he carried the box to his room.</p><p>Anderson smiled as he decided to join his girls in the kitchen.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"Where'd John go?" Kahlee asked as she poured Hailey a glass of juice.</p><p>"He's putting some things away in his room. He'll be back shortly," Anderson explained as he poured himself a cup of coffee. "Those pancakes look delicious."</p><p>"They are," Hailey informed her father as she took another bite.</p><p>"Better than mine, eh," Shepard grinned as he rejoined his family in the kitchen, quickly retrieving his medication from the cabinet.</p><p>"How many pancakes do you want, sweetheart?" Kahlee asked as she watched her son swallow his medication.</p><p>"Um— none, actually," Shepard admitted as he grabbed a banana from the counter. "I gotta get going. I promised a guy I'd take a look at his bike, and I don't wanna be late."</p><p>"Can I go?" Hailey asked as she finished her breakfast.</p><p>"I don't know, Hailey. It'll be pretty boring, and I won't be able to play with you," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p><p>"I promise I won't complain, and I'll do everything you ask. I won't be a pest," Hailey pleaded.</p><p>'Whattaya think? Should we let her?' Shepard asked silently.</p><p><em> 'Why not? I don't see the harm in it,' </em>the voice replied.</p><p>"Sure, Hailey— if Mom and Dad say it's alright," Shepard agreed with a smile.</p><p>Kahlee looked at Anderson, a look of doubt on her face.</p><p>"It's up to you, Kahlee," Anderson insisted.</p><p>"Are you sure you'll have time to watch her? I mean, you'll be distracted. I don't think it's a very good idea," Kahlee insisted.</p><p>Shepard's smile turned to a frown as he headed out the side-door.</p><p>"Mommy, that's not fair. I wanna spend time with Loco," Hailey pouted with tears in her eyes.</p><p>"I'm sorry, baby— but John just isn't healthy enough right now. His brain is still healing. You understand, don't you, baby?" Kahlee explained.</p><p>"I guess," Hailey said as she made her way out the side-door.</p><p>"Kahlee, when are you going to stop using John's brain injury as an excuse and just say what you mean?" Anderson asked in annoyance.</p><p>"I don't know what you're talking about," Kahlee insisted as she cleared the table.</p><p>"You know damn well what I mean," Anderson said calmly. "You're afraid of John."</p><p>"David, I promise you, I'm not afraid of him. I just feel like he's not responsible enough to watch over Hailey under those circumstances," Kahlee explained, "He'll be concentrating on the motorcycle, and Hailey will be ignored. You know I'm right, David."</p><p>Anderson considered her words and saw the truth of them. "Alright. I see your point. I just don't want you to push John away."</p><p>"I won't, David. I promise you— I won't," Kahlee assured her fiancé with a kiss.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>Hailey quietly looked around the garage for traces of her big brother when she noticed him leaning against the wall. As she moved closer, she could hear the familiar sound of her brother crying.</p><p>Not knowing what else to do, the little angel did the only thing she could— she took his hand in hers and leaned her tiny head against his body.</p><p>"I'm okay, Hailey. Don't worry about me, yeah," Shepard promised as he gave her tiny hand a squeeze.</p><p>"I wish I could go with you," Hailey softly whispered.</p><p>"Me too," Shepard admitted as he knelt down in front of her, "I'm sorry for the way I am, Hailey. I wish I was normal, but I ain't, and I never will be. No matter what happens, I want you to know I love you— I want you to remember that, yeah." </p><p>Shepard kissed his sister on the crown of her head before moving to leave the garage.</p><p>"I love you too, Loco," Hailey called out as she watched her big brother walk further away.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p><em> 'That was unfair— to say the least,' </em>the voice commented in annoyance.</p><p>"Yeah— It really felt that way, didn't it? But maybe it was for the best? I ain't feeling right anyway," Shepard admitted as he headed to his client's house.</p><p>It only took Shepard forty-five minutes to reach his destination. </p><p>"Hey, Shepard," Shepard's client called out with a big smile on his face. "It's good to see you!"</p><p>"Hey, Jake. It's good to see you too," Shepard grinned as he shook the man's hand.</p><p>"I'm glad to see you're feeling better. I have a new bike that's in dire need of your expertise," Jake informed the young blonde as he motioned for Shepard to follow him into the garage.</p><p>"Oh, wow! She's a beauty, ain't she," Shepard grinned as he made his way towards the bike. "I really love these old Heritage Softails. This one is in pristine condition too. What seems to be the trouble with her?"</p><p>"She backfires like a motherfucker and smokes something awful. I'm assuming it's an easy fix, but I suck at the mechanical stuff," Jake admitted, scratching his beard as he spoke.</p><p>"It sounds like an intake leak. I'll check the carburetor. I'll probably need to clean and rebuild it for you," Shepard informed the man as he continued to examine the bike. </p><p>"Okay. You go ahead and do your thing. Once you know for sure what parts are needed, let me know, and I'll get them ASAP." Jake said as he made his way back into the house.</p><p>It didn't take Shepard long to diagnose the issue, and within the hour, he was handing Jake a list of things he would need for the repair.</p><p>"Here's the list," Shepard said as he handed Jake the small piece of paper. "Just text or call whenever you have everything, and I'll be right over to repair her."</p><p>"Sounds good," Jake said with a nod as he shook the young blonde's hand. "I'll try to have everything within the next two weeks."</p><p>"That'll be fine," Shepard agreed with a smile. "I guess I'll see you soon. Have a good one."</p><p>"You too, Shepard," Jake said with a wave as Shepard took his leave.</p><p><em> 'So, is it gonna be an easy job, or is it gonna be a pain in the ass?' </em>The voice asked curiously.</p><p>"It should be easy enough," Shepard said with a shrug as he continued to walk down the street, "As long as I don't run into any unforeseen issues, that is."</p><p><em> 'Easy money,' </em>the voice chuckled.</p><p>"Yep," Shepard agreed with a grin. "I'm hungry. I think I'll get something to eat."</p><p><em> 'Sounds good to me,' </em>the voice said as Shepard made his way to the nearest restaurant.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>The minute Shepard set foot in the restaurant, he started feeling anxious. The place was crowded and noisy, causing Shepard to fidget restlessly.</p><p>The blue-eyed teen wasted no time, quickly ordering his food to go— eager to be alone. </p><p><em> 'Sure is crowded today,' </em> the voice observed, knowing how uncomfortable the young blonde was becoming. <em> 'Maybe we should forget about the food, eh,' </em>the voice suggested.</p><p>"Yeah. I don't really wanna be here no more," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p><p>"Order up for Shepard," the young woman behind the counter replied as she placed his order on the counter.</p><p><em> 'Hn. That was convenient,' </em>the voice said as Shepard retrieved his order.</p><p>"Keep the change," Shepard called out as he handed payment to the young woman before rushing out of the restaurant.</p><p><em> 'You wanna eat by the water,' </em> the voice asked, <em> 'That usually calms you down.' </em></p><p>"I guess," Shepard shrugged as he made his way towards the beach.</p><p>Once there, Shepard ate his lunch slowly, taking the time to admire the beautiful view— letting the sound of the waves calm and relax him.</p><p>"I feel a little better now," Shepard admitted as he threw the takeout bag into the nearby trash bin.</p><p><em> 'You're still anxious as fuck. You can't seem to sit still. Maybe you need to get laid,' </em>the voice suggested.</p><p>"I ain't manic," Shepard argued, annoyed by the insinuation.</p><p><em> 'I never said you were! I just said you're anxious, and you know I ain't lying,' </em>the voice insisted.</p><p>"Maybe— I dunno. I just don't wanna be hospitalized," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p><p><em> 'Hey, as long as you ain't seeing shit or hearing shit, you should be gold,' </em> the voice assured the young blonde. <em> 'So, don't worry about that shit right now— just concentrate on making yourself feel better.' </em></p><p>"Yeah— you're right— I'm sorry for snapping at you," Shepard apologized as he began walking in the direction of Keefer Street. "I wonder if Alex is home?"</p><p><em> 'Are you sure Alex is an option? I mean, Ryan's probably there too. Do you think it'll be too awkward for you?' </em>The voice asked curiously.</p><p>"Ryan said he was cool with it— and I don't think Ryan would lie to me," Shepard explained as he furrowed his brow in contemplation.</p><p><em> 'I guess we'll find out soon enough,' </em>the voice said anxiously, as Shepard continued on his way.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>By the time Shepard arrived outside Alex's door, he had become even more restless, fidgeting nonstop until Ryan answered the door—</p><p>"Hey, Baby Boy," Ryan smiled as he quickly invited the blue-eyed teen into the apartment. </p><p>"Hey, Walker," Shepard grinned as he hugged his grey-eyed friend tight. "Is Alex home? I was kinda hoping he could help me out. I'm kinda feeling a bit— affectionate— and a bit anxious, and I don't really know what to do with myself. You know what I mean?" Shepard spoke quickly, and it was a struggle for Ryan to keep up.</p><p>'Is he manic or just a bit anxious?' Ryan asked himself, unsure of his young friend's condition.</p><p>"Whoa, whoa, whoa— slow down, J," Ryan said with a smile as he gently brushed a stray blonde hair out of Shepard's sapphire-blue eyes. "Take your time and tell me what you need, eh."</p><p>"I need to clear my head," Shepard replied quickly. "All these thoughts, they just keep running through my head. I can't keep up. I need to feel something— know what I mean, Ryan?"</p><p>"I—I <b>think</b> I understand," Ryan said, nodding his head as he spoke. "Alex isn't here right now. He had to work. He'll be home soon, though."</p><p>"Do you wanna play around, Walker?" Shepard asked with a wicked grin. "We can play if you want."</p><p>Ryan couldn't help but chuckle at the wild teen. "Boy, you are the devil— I think we should wait for Alex. He'll be here in a few minutes."</p><p>Shepard clicked his tongue in disappointment before taking a seat on the couch. "You know, you ain't no help at all, Walker."</p><p>Ryan just laughed as he headed towards the kitchen. "You want a beer, Baby Boy?"</p><p>"Yeah— Yeah, beer's good," Shepard nodded as he bounced his knee nervously.</p><p>"Here ya go," Ryan said as he handed the blue-eyed teen the bottle.</p><p>"Appreciated," Shepard said as he took a long drink.</p><p>"Easy, J. Don't drink too fast, eh," Ryan scolded as he brushed a stray dark-blonde hair from the boy's too-blue eyes.</p><p>"One beer ain't gonna get me drunk, Ryan. You fucking know that, " Shepard whined as he finished the beer off. "Can I kiss you, Walker?"</p><p>Ryan was becoming more-and-more nervous with Shepard's behaviour. 'This boy is so goddamn hard to resist! What do I do, Aaron? Do I give in? Would you hate me if I did?'</p><p>"Goddammit, Ryan, answer me! Aaron won't be mad— I promise. I need it, Ryan— so fucking bad. The longer I wait, the more wrong I feel," Shepard explained.</p><p>"You know, it's freaky how you do that. Okay, Baby Boy," Ryan chuckled as he touched the anxious teen's cheek. "One kiss. Alex will be here soon. He'll take really good care of you, eh."</p><p>Shepard grinned as he kissed Ryan with an insatiable hunger that threatened to devour them both in its ferocity.</p><p>"Ryan, baby, I'm home," Alex called from the front door, causing Ryan to break the kiss.</p><p>"J, I'll be right back, so just sit tight, eh," Ryan instructed as he made his way to his lover.</p><p>"Hey, babe," Ryan greeted his lover with a kiss. "Baby Boy's here, but something's wrong. He's acting strangely."</p><p>"What do you mean? How is he acting?" Alex asked, curiously, as he furrowed his brow in concern.</p><p>"He— Um, he's very— affectionate," Ryan admitted truthfully. </p><p>Alex just laughed at his lover. "That's normal, Ryan. He's just horny. Blue-eyes gets that way when he wants to fuck."</p><p>"<em>Sigh— </em>It— it's not just that. He's wide-open— fidgeting like crazy— talking super fast, you know, things like that," Ryan tried his best to explain.</p><p>"He's manic?" Alex asked with a serious look on his face.</p><p>"I'm not too sure. He doesn't seem as bad as I've seen him in the past, but I feel like it's definitely heading in that direction," Ryan admitted truthfully.</p><p>"Then he needs to get laid. If it's not too bad yet, sex can actually bring him out of it." Alex said as he put away his coat.</p><p>"I told him you'd help him," Ryan said as he led his lover to the front room. "Baby Boy, Alex is here."</p><p>Ryan barely got the words out when Shepard rushed the older man, kissing Alex passionately as he tore the shirt from the man's chest.</p><p>"Damn, Baby Boy, give him a minute, eh," Ryan snickered in amusement.</p><p>"You in a hurry, blue-eyes?" Alex asked in amusement as he continued to kiss the young blonde's neck.</p><p>"Uh-huh," Shepard admitted as he started leading Alex towards the bedroom, only to stop in his tracks. "Ryan?"</p><p>"Don't worry about me, Baby Boy," Ryan assured his anxious friend, "I'll just stay here and play some video games. You two have fun. Alex, take care of him, yeah."</p><p>"Always," Alex grinned as he nibbled Shepard's right ear.</p><p>"Ryan, come with us, yeah," Shepard suggested as he leaned into Alex's chest.</p><p>"I dunno, J. I don't wanna make things weird for you," Ryan replied honestly.</p><p>"It won't be weird for me. I want you to watch," Shepard explained, shocking both Ryan and Alex.</p><p>"You want him to watch," Alex repeated in disbelief.</p><p>"Yeah. Does that bother you, Alex?" Shepard asked in confusion. </p><p>"Uh, no. It doesn't bother me at all. If that's something you want, and if Ryan is open to the idea, I'm game," Alex admitted— truthfully— as he gazed into Ryan's light-grey eyes for an answer.</p><p>"Are you sure this is what you want, Baby Boy? I mean, I can wait out here if it makes you feel wrong," Ryan insisted.</p><p>"I dated Elliot, remember. I fucking love for people to watch me," Shepard admitted, making Ryan wonder if Shepard was— maybe— just a little high. "Besides, this way, you can make sure we don't cross the line. I don't want us to do anything you don't approve of. Know what I mean, Walker?"</p><p>"Well, babe, it's your call," Alex looked to Ryan with a gentle smile.</p><p>Ryan considered it for a few seconds more before making up his mind—</p><p>"You win, J," Ryan mumbled as he allowed Shepard to take his hand and lead him and Alex towards their bedroom.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>Ryan watched in heated fascination as his lover and his best friend— slowly— began to enjoy each other's bodies. </p><p>Ryan couldn't help but touch himself, growing increasingly more aroused with every act he witnessed.</p><p>Shepard grinned as he fell to his knees before Alex, quickly taking him into his mouth— making sure to give Ryan a perfect view of the action.</p><p>"Mmm, you're so fucking good at this blue-eyes," Alex moaned in approval as he tangled his hand in Shepard's dark-blonde hair.</p><p>"Fuck my throat," Shepard quietly instructed— his sapphire eyes hazy with lust.</p><p>"Yeah. You want it rough, blue-eyes?" Alex asked in amusement.</p><p>"Uh-huh," Shepard mumbled as Alex began to pick up the pace, fucking Shepard's throat at a brutal pace.</p><p>"Fuck!" Ryan groaned as he continued to rub himself through his pants.</p><p>"You take my cock so well, blue-eyes," Alex praised as he continued his brutal thrusts, occasionally holding Shepard's head still— causing the young blonde to gasp for air.</p><p>"Hey, baby, ease up a little," Ryan said, growing uneasy with the rough play. </p><p>"No worries, babe. He likes it this way when he's feeling a bit too anxious," Alex assured his lover as he continued his assault on the blue-eyed teen's throat.</p><p>"Please, baby," Ryan pleaded, frightened by Shepard's gasping. "He's struggling a bit too much, eh."</p><p>"Okay, babe," Alex relented as he slowed his hips before pulling Shepard off him.</p><p>"<em>Cough— Cough— </em>Why'd you stop?" Shepard whined as he looked up at Alex with a pout.</p><p>"Ryan wasn't a fan," Alex admitted as he gently rubbed Shepard's left cheek. "Besides, you wouldn't want me to cum before I get to properly fuck you now, would you?"</p><p>Shepard groaned at the thought of Alex fucking him. "What are you waiting for then," Shepard teased as he climbed on the bed, "Come and fuck me already," Shepard demanded as he got on all fours, making sure to face Ryan's direction.</p><p>Alex wasted no time preparing Shepard for what was to come, and within minutes, he was sliding into Shepard's tight heat.</p><p>"Mmm— Your cock's so goddamn good. It feels fucking amazing," Shepard admitted as he thrusted back against Alex.</p><p>"You're always such a great little fuck— always ready for all I have to give," Alex grinned as he kissed the space between Shepard's shoulderblades.</p><p>"Show Ryan how good you can fuck me," Shepard insisted as he bit his lip while staring into his best friend's light-grey eyes.</p><p>Ryan was painfully aroused and could resist a moan as he continued to rub himself harder.</p><p>"Do you like it, babe?" Alex asked Ryan as he continued to steadily fuck their young blonde friend.</p><p>"It's fucking hot! Fuck him harder, baby," Ryan quietly requested as he continued to watch Shepard's face light up in ecstasy.</p><p>"Ryan— I—I need you," Shepard whined, causing Ryan to come closer.</p><p>"What do you need, Baby Boy," Ryan softly asked as he gently stroked Shepard's sweat-soaked dark-blonde hair. "Just tell me what you need."</p><p>"I—I need you— in my mouth," Shepard pleaded as he hastily unbuttoned Ryan's jeans— freeing his friend's cock before greedily taking him into his mouth.</p><p>"Fuck, Baby Boy! That feels so motherfucking good," Ryan admitted as he quickly removed his own shirt.</p><p>"That's a beautiful sight," Alex chuckled as he began to fuck Shepard harder.</p><p>Shepard loved the dual sensation of being taken from both ends. It wasn't something he indulged in often, but when he did— he milked the hell out of it, doing everything in his power to make that feeling last.</p><p>"Do you wanna fuck me, Ryan?" Shepard asked anxiously, afraid of his beloved friend's answer.</p><p>"I—I don't know, J," Ryan admitted truthfully, "I don't want to take advantage of you."</p><p>"You wouldn't be— I swear, you wouldn't," Shepard promised as Alex slowed his movements.</p><p>"It's what he wants, babe," Alex said with a sincere smile as he continued to languidly thrust into Shepard's willing body.</p><p>"Alright, Baby Boy," Ryan smiled as he kissed Shepard gently on the mouth, taking his time tasting the sweetness of the young blonde's mouth.</p><p>Alex pulled out slowly before removing his condom and kissing Ryan deeply.</p><p>"You ready, babe," Alex asked Ryan as he placed a new condom on his lover. </p><p>"As ready as I'll ever be," Ryan chuckled nervously. "I hope he doesn't regret this later."</p><p>"He loves you, babe," Alex reminded his grey-eyed lover, "Blue-eyes could never regret anything when it comes to you."</p><p>Ryan smiled at his lover, kissing him softly before turning to kiss his beloved friend.</p><p>Alex joined them briefly for a three-way kiss before Ryan took his place behind Shepard.</p><p>"Wait," Shepard whispered as he turned onto his back. "I wanna see you."</p><p>Ryan's eyes grew wide in shock, but he quickly adjusted to the new positioning— taking his place between Shepard's spread legs.</p><p>"Are you ready, Baby Boy?" Ryan asked— softly— as he prepared to take his best friend for the very first time.</p><p>Shepard pulled his grey-eyed friend down and kissed him hard enough to steal Ryan's breath. "Fuck me, Ryan. Fuck me as hard as you want. I'll take whatever you wanna give." </p><p>"Goddamn, J! The things you say— it goes straight to my cock, yeah," Ryan admitted with a groan, causing Shepard to laugh in amusement.</p><p>"You gonna use my mouth, Alex?" Shepard asked as he tilted his head back to look at his friend.</p><p>"Of course," Alex said with a wink, "But I think I'll watch a bit first."</p><p>Shepard just grinned as he turned his attention towards Ryan. "Ready when you are, Walker."</p><p>Ryan took his time entering his friend, loving the feel of Shepard's heat as he sank ever deeper into the young blonde. </p><p>"You feel so good, Baby Boy," Ryan whispered as he bottomed out inside the blue-eyed beauty.</p><p>Shepard kissed his friend slowly as he wrapped his long legs tight around Ryan's waist. "You can fuck me now. Don't hold back, eh."</p><p>Ryan touched his forehead to Shepard's as he started to move inside his best friend. "I've wanted this for a long time," Ryan admitted, causing Shepard to smile sweetly at him.</p><p>It didn't take long for Ryan to find his rhythm, and before long, the room was filled with the sounds of skin slapping on skin. </p><p>"Harder, Ryan," Shepard pleaded, crying out when Ryan hit that spot deep within him, "There, Ryan! Keep fucking me just like that!"</p><p>Alex could tell both men were getting close and decided it was time to join them—</p><p>"Hey, blue-eyes, you ready for me," Alex asked as he stroked himself in anticipation.</p><p>"Uh-huh," Shepard said as he tilted his head back, giving Alex access to his willing throat.</p><p>Alex picked up the pace— fucking Shepard's throat with wild abandon.</p><p>"I'm gonna cum, blue-eyes," Alex warned as Shepard prepared to take all he had to give.</p><p>Shepard groaned in agreement as Alex's body stilled— his cock swelling as he erupted in Shepard's throat.</p><p>Shepard hummed in satisfaction as he swallowed all Alex had given him before taking his time to clean the cum from Alex's spent cock— kissing the head gently as he finally let him go.</p><p>Shepard immediately pulled Ryan close, kissing him deeply, allowing the grey-eyed man to taste his lover on his tongue. "Tastes good, eh," Shepard teased with a wicked grin and a quick wink.</p><p>"Fuck, that was hot," Ryan grinned as he licked his lips.</p><p>"It's your turn, babe," Alex grinned as he kissed his lover slowly. </p><p>Ryan moaned as he continued to fuck Shepard hard. "Take him in your mouth, babe," Ryan suggested as he continued to pick up the pace.</p><p>"Fuck yes," Shepard moaned as Alex took him into his mouth— gently mouthing the head before taking Shepard further into his throat. "So goddamn good!"</p><p>"Fuck, J, you got a beautiful cock," Ryan grinned as he continued to watch his lover's head bob up and down on Shepard's cock.</p><p>"Fuck, I'm close! Are you close, Walker," Shepard asked as tried his best to fuck Alex's throat.</p><p>"Yeah, Baby Boy," Ryan replied as sweat poured down his body, "I'm close— Fuck! I'm gonna cum—"</p><p>Shepard's entire body spasmed as he came hard into Alex's throat— his orgasm causing him to effectively milk Ryan.</p><p>"Oh, fuck!" Ryan whined as he continued to cum violently.</p><p>"Fuck yeah, Ryan," Shepard grinned, loving the feel of Ryan spasming inside him.</p><p>Once Ryan was totally spent, he collapsed atop Shepard's young body—</p><p>"That was <b>SO </b>fucking good," Ryan admitted as he buried his face in the hollow of Shepard's neck.</p><p>"You liked it, then," Shepard asked softly, hoping he had brought pleasure to his best friend. </p><p>"Liked it? I fucking loved it! Thanks for this, Baby Boy. I'll never forget it," Ryan said as he kissed his friend softly.</p><p>"Alex, what about you? Did you like it?" Shepard asked with a yawn— his body feeling hot and exhausted.</p><p>"I loved it, blue-eyes," Alex whispered as he stroked Shepard's sweat-soaked dark-blonde hair, "Let's get you ready for bed. I think it's  time for you to sleep some, eh."</p><p>"I'll call his parents," Ryan said as he disposed of his condom. "Let them know he's here."</p><p>"I'll get him comfortable," Alex said as he gave Ryan a quick kiss. "I hope this helped his state of mind."</p><p>"Me too, babe," Ryan agreed as he went to make the call.</p><p>"You mind sleeping in the middle, blue-eyes?" Alex asked as he adjusted the sheets on the large king-sized bed.</p><p>"It's fine," Shepard mumbled, barely able to keep his eyes open.</p><p>"Well, that's done," Ryan announced as he took his place on the bed. "They're good, Baby Boy. No worries, eh."</p><p>"Thanks, Walker," Shepard said with a yawn. "Love you, yeah."</p><p>"I love you too, Baby Boy," Ryan said as he kissed Shepard's forehead.</p><p>"You ready to call it a day, babe?" Alex asked as he stretched his arms over his head.</p><p>"Yeah, I think it's about that time," Ryan grinned as he kissed Alex goodnight. </p><p>"Goodnight, babe," Alex whispered as he turned out the light.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Early that morning—</b>
</p><p>
  <em> 'Wake up! Wake up, you whore!' </em>
</p><p>Shepard's sapphire-blue eyes flew open as he bolted upright in bed— his heart beating rapidly.</p><p>"Who— What?" Shepard mumbled, trying his best to focus.</p><p><em> 'Of course, </em> <b> <em>you</em> </b> <em> would allow two men to use you at once. You being the useless whore you are. You really are a disappointment, aren't you?' </em>The familiar female voice called out, causing Shepard to strike his head violently in an attempt to silence her.</p><p>"Go away. I don't want you here," Shepard whispered, clenching his blue eyes tight as he spoke.</p><p>
  <em> 'Why are you still alive? It's not fair! Why do you get to live? Your very existence has ruined my life! The things you did to my body— to my mind! You are a demon! A sickness to be purged. Because of you, I can never be happy!' </em>
</p><p>Shepard's eyes opened wide as his nightmare came to life before him— the dark spectre of his mother standing over him, threatening to take his breath with her cruel words.</p><p>"Go away! You're not real," Shepard demanded, closing his eyes, tight, trying his best to will her away.</p><p><em> 'Shepard, it's me. I think it's time you called Doctor Smith, eh,' </em>the voice suggested.</p><p><em> 'Don't listen to him! He's only holding you back with his lies,' </em>a strange male voice whispered.</p><p>"Please leave me be," Shepard begged as he slowly opened his eyes.</p><p>The phantom spectre was still there staring at him, causing Shepard's heart to race even faster. </p><p>"Ryan," Shepard called out as he nervously shook his friend awake, "Ryan, I need you. Please, wake up—"</p><p>"Hn. What's up?" Ryan asked as he wiped the sleep from his eyes.</p><p>"I need you to take me to the hospital," Shepard admitted truthfully, as he continued to stare at the phantom.</p><p>"Why? What's going on? Are you in pain, Baby Boy?" Ryan asked anxiously, obviously worried about his friend.</p><p>"My head ain't right, Ryan," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p><p>"Oh, okay— Just let me get dressed real quick, and I'll take you," Ryan promised as he got up from the bed.</p><p>Shepard moved slowly, staring out into space as he collected his clothing.</p><p>"What are you seeing, J?" Ryan asked when he noticed Shepard's strange behaviour.</p><p>"My mother," Shepard said as he slowly got dressed.</p><p>"Do you wanna call Doctor Smith?" Ryan asked as he continued to dress.</p><p>"Yeah— I guess I should. My phone's in the living room. I'll call from there," Shepard assured his friend as he made his way out of the bedroom.</p><p>"Alex, baby, wake up," Ryan said as he shook his lover awake. </p><p>"Hmm. What's wrong, baby?" Alex asked as he kissed Ryan's hand.</p><p>"I gotta take J to the hospital. He's having an episode," Ryan explained as he grabbed his keys from the nightstand.</p><p>"Do you want me to come along?" Alex asked as he sat up in bed.</p><p>"No. That's alright. I can handle it. You have work today, remember," Ryan reminded his lover with a quick kiss.</p><p>"Yeah, but if you guys need me, I'm there," Alex insisted.</p><p>"I know, baby— and if we need you, we'll call. I promise," Ryan said with a smile as he started towards the door, "I'll call you once he's been admitted."</p><p>"Wait— Admitted? What do you mean, admitted?" Alex asked curiously.</p><p>"Don't worry. It's standard procedure. J's gonna be fine," Ryan assured his lover. "This is most likely stress-related, so he won't be there for long."</p><p>"That's a relief," Alex said with a smile, "You guys be safe. Keep me updated. I love you both."</p><p>"Love you too, baby," Ryan admitted with a smile as he made his way to Shepard's side.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"You ready to head out, Baby Boy?" Ryan asked as he rubbed his friend's back gently.</p><p>"Yeah. Doctor Smith's gonna meet me there," Shepard explained nervously.</p><p>"Did he give you an estimate for how long you'll be admitted for?" Ryan asked as he led Shepard out of the apartment.</p><p>"Yeah, three days or so. No longer than five, unless I have a bad episode while I'm there." Shepard explained as he followed his friend.</p><p>"Sounds good," Ryan said with a nod. "Now, let's get you to the hospital, eh."</p><p>"Thanks for this, Ryan," Shepard said, feeling bad that he was asking so much of his friend.</p><p>"No problem, Baby Boy! It's my job to watch over you, remember?" Ryan reminded his blue-eyed friend as they made their way to the car.</p><p>"Yeah— I guess. I can't wait to get there and get this over with," Shepard smiled gratefully.</p><p>"Don't worry, Baby Boy! We'll be there before you know it," Ryan insisted as they made their way to Vancouver General.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next Chapter:  Shepard's time in the hospital—</p><p>Yes, Shepard is very hypersexual. He really enjoys sex. Ugh— I suck at sex scenes. Forgive the poor writing. =)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Unexpected Things</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Shepard's mental health has a setback as he is hospitalized. He gets a surprise visit that raises his spirits.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>***WARNING***<br/>This chapter deals with mental illness.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"You all settled, Baby Boy?" Ryan asked as he brushed a stray dark-blonde hair from Shepard's brow.</p><p>"Yeah— I guess so," Shepard shrugged nervously.</p><p>"I'll stay with you until you see Doctor Smith," Ryan promised, "I won't leave your side, so go ahead and try to get some rest."</p><p>"I don't think sleep's an option," Shepard mumbled as he continued to fidget in his hospital bed.</p><p>"Yeah, you look pretty anxious. Are you sure you don't want me to call your parents?"</p><p>"I don't need them here, Ryan. And I sure as hell don't want 'em here!" Shepard snapped.</p><p>"Okay— you win. I won't call them yet," Ryan said, throwing his hands up in defeat. "I noticed that you refused the sedative— any reason why?"</p><p>"I just didn't want it. I'll sleep when I'm ready. I don't need their fucking assistance," Shepard said in an irritated tone.</p><p>"Fair enough, I guess," Ryan nodded as he took a seat next to Shepard's bedside.</p><p>"Hello, Ryan," Doctor Smith called out with a warm smile as he entered the room. "How have you been?"</p><p>"I've been good, Michael. Thanks for asking— And you?" Ryan asked as he casually made small talk.</p><p>"Oh, I can't complain. I just got married, so I'm on top of the world," Michael grinned as he reviewed Shepard's chart.</p><p>"Oh, yeah? Congratulations! Love is a great thing," Ryan chuckled, thinking of Alex as he spoke.</p><p>"You in love, Ryan?" Michael asked curiously.</p><p>"I think so, but everything's fairly new, so I can't be 100% sure just yet," Ryan admitted with a genuine smile, "I am happy, though."</p><p>"And that's all that matters," Michael grinned as he turned his attention to his anxious patient. "And how are you feeling today, Shepard?"</p><p>"Is that a serious question? I'm in the goddamn hospital— I obviously feel like shit," Shepard replied in annoyance.</p><p>"Point taken," Michael sighed as he made a note on Shepard's chart. "I guess I'll start with the usual questions— if you don't mind."</p><p>"I've been taking my meds. The only dose I missed was last night's. I didn't go home, and I forgot to bring 'em with me," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p><p>"You know you shouldn't do that," Michael gently scolded.</p><p>"Trust me, missing that one dose ain't the reason I ain't feeling right," Shepard explained, "This shit's been building for a while— just like you said it would. I tried to stifle it, but nothing worked this time— not even really great sex could stop it. I ain't so far gone that I don't realize something's fucking wrong with me. That's a good sign, right?"</p><p>"It's a very good sign. It means you're starting to recognize the subtle changes in your mind when an episode is about to occur," Doctor Smith explained. "What is the main issue you're having right now? Are you having auditory hallucinations— are you hearing things?"</p><p>"No," Shepard lied, not wanting to go through a medication change.</p><p><em> 'Tell the truth, goddammit! He can't help you if you lie,' </em>the voice scolded Shepard causing him to frown and furrow his brow.</p><p>"That's good. Are you seeing anything now? Shadows perhaps, or strange people you've never seen before?" Michael asked as he continued to take notes.</p><p>"No," Shepard lied once more as he glanced towards the spectre of his mother.</p><p>"He's lying," Ryan admitted causing Shepard to roll his eyes in annoyance.</p><p>"Shut the fuck up, Ryan! Nobody asked you," Shepard snapped, unable to look his doctor in the eye.</p><p>"Is that true?" Doctor Smith asked, getting nothing but a shrug in response. "I see. Has he told you any details, Ryan?"</p><p>"Yeah. He said it was his mother. He was talking to himself too, but it was different than usual— he seemed upset and confused," Ryan explained, giving his beloved friend an apologetic look, "I'm sorry, J— he needed to know, eh."</p><p>Shepard said nothing— he just continued to stare at his hands in silence.</p><p>"Is there a reason you felt the need to lie to me?" Michael asked softly.</p><p>Shepard just shrugged, causing the doctor to sigh.</p><p>"I know you hate having your medication changed, but the regimen is obviously not working as well as it once was. It's totally normal. You're still growing, after all," Michael said, trying to ease the young blonde's anxiety.</p><p>"I just know you're gonna give me something that's gonna make me feel wrong. I'd rather be sick than feel that way. I hate feeling like a goddamn zombie," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p><p>"Actually, I wasn't planning on changing anything," Michael reassured the young blonde, "I'm only planning to up the dosage— that's all. This regimen has proven effective in the past, and it has minimal side-effects— so, in my opinion, it's the best option. So, what do you think? Are you willing to try a higher dosage?"</p><p>"Nothin' will change," Shepard asked skeptically.</p><p>"Nothing will change. I promise," Doctor Smith assured his patient. </p><p>"I'll try it," Shepard agreed with a nod.</p><p>"Excellent! We'll up the dosage starting this morning and continue to monitor you for the next three days or so," Michael explained with a pleased grin.</p><p>"Why do I gotta be monitored if it's the same damn thing I always take? That don't make no fuckin' sense," Shepard asked in annoyance.</p><p>"It's strictly a precautionary measure— just in case the higher dosage triggers a reaction," Michael explained.</p><p>"What kind of reaction?" Ryan asked anxiously.</p><p>"The higher dosage could trigger a few side-effects, but it isn't very likely," Michael assured the grey-eyed man.</p><p>"Oh, okay," Ryan said with a nervous smile.</p><p>"Is there anything else you want to talk about before I leave for the day?" Doctor Smith asked with a smile.</p><p>"Um— I can't sleep. I ain't slept much in the past week or so," Shepard admitted as he turned his gaze to the specter in the room. "And if you can give me something to make that bitch go away, I'd appreciate it," Shepard pleaded as he pointed to the empty corner.</p><p>"Is she there now?" Michael asked seriously.</p><p>"Yep. The bitch has been there the whole goddamn time."</p><p>"I'll get you a sedative and order some medication to ease your hallucinations," Doctor Smith promised as he made a note on the chart. "Try and get some rest, Shepard. It was great to see you, Ryan. Have a good one, eh."</p><p>"Same to you," Ryan smiled with a wave as he watched Michael leave the room. "Hard to believe he's Elise's dad. He's so nice, and she's—"</p><p>"A goddamn cunt," Shepard curtly finished his friend's sentence.</p><p>"I was gonna say bitch, but cunt works too," Ryan laughed as he turned his full attention to Shepard. "Can I please call your parents now?" </p><p>"It can wait," Shepard insisted.</p><p>"Whatever you say, Baby Boy," Ryan agreed with a sigh.</p><p>"You can go home now, Ryan. Everything's all settled. I'll see you in a few days, yeah," Shepard instructed as he turned on his side, away from Ryan's view.</p><p>"If that's what you want," Ryan said with a frown. "I'll text you when I get home to check on you, eh."</p><p>"That's fine. Thanks for bringing me here. I appreciate it, Walker." Shepard said softly.</p><p>"Anything for you, Baby Boy," Ryan said as he made his way to the door. "Don't be mad, but I'm calling your parents when I get home. I don't think they should have to worry about you unnecessarily."</p><p>"Whatever," Shepard mumbled just as the nurse entered the room.</p><p>"Take care of him, eh," Ryan requested as he nodded towards the nurse.</p><p>"We'll do our best," the nurse smiled as she quickly administered the sedative to the irritable young blonde.</p><p>"I love you, Baby Boy," Ryan called out.</p><p>"I love you too, Ryan," Shepard mumbled as he waited for the sedative to kick in.</p><p>Ryan smiled at his best friend once more before leaving the hospital and heading home.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p> <b>Later that day—</b></p><p>"He's sleeping now," the young brunette nurse explained with a smile. "He was having trouble relaxing, so he was given a mild sedative. It's nothing serious, just a touch of insomnia. Doctor Smith will be here at around five. He can give you a full report on him."</p><p>"Can we see him?" Anderson asked anxiously, eager to see his son.</p><p>"Not until he's fully awake. We don't want him to be confused when he wakes up." The nurse replied— motioning to the waiting area, "I'll notify you when he's able to have visitors."</p><p>"Okay. Thank you," Kahlee said as she led Hailey to the waiting area— with Anderson following close behind.</p><p>The Andersons waited for several hours, growing more-and-more restless with each passing minute.</p><p>"Shouldn't he be awake by now? This makes no sense," Anderson complained as he paced anxiously.</p><p>"Mommy, I'm hungry," Hailey said as she tugged at her mother's arm.</p><p>"I know, baby," Kahlee said sympathetically. "David, I'm going to take Hailey to the cafeteria for a snack. Do you want anything?"</p><p>"Yeah— coffee would be nice," Anderson said as he took a seat.</p><p>"Okay. We'll be back soon," Kahlee promised as she led Hailey to the elevator.</p><p>"Mr. Anderson," the nurse called out, immediately catching his attention.</p><p>"Yes? Is my son awake? Can I see him?" Anderson asked eagerly.</p><p>"Yes, he's fully awake now and is familiar with his surroundings. Follow me, and I'll show you to his room. The room isn't private, so you'll only be able to see him for a few minutes— we don't want to upset the other patients," the nurse insisted as she led Anderson down the hall.</p><p>The room was quiet when Anderson arrived, but Anderson knew from experience that the silence would not last long.</p><p>"Hey, Son. How are you feeling?" Anderson asked as he took his son's hand gently.</p><p>"I'm alright. It ain't bad. I'm only here as a precaution," Shepard assured his father with a squeeze of his hand.</p><p>"What kind of precaution? Do they think you'll get worse?" Anderson asked nervously.</p><p>Shepard laughed a bitter laugh. "No, Dad. My dosage changed— they’re just making sure I ain't gonna have any weird side-effects."</p><p>"So far, so good, eh," Anderson said with an optimistic grin.</p><p>"Yep. So far, I feel the same as always. I ain't had but one dose, though," Shepard replied truthfully, "And I've been out cold for most of the duration. They'll know more about it tomorrow."</p><p>There was a sudden scream, followed by incoherent words and uncontrollable laughter— making Anderson very uneasy.</p><p>"That's one of my roommates. He's schizophrenic— but refuses his medication. I think he's got other issues too. The poor guy's way worse off than me," Shepard said with sincerity. </p><p>"Do you want me to see if I can get you moved to a new room?" Anderson asked, wanting his son to be comfortable.</p><p>"Nah. I'm used to it," Shepard admitted. </p><p>"Alright," Anderson said as he continued to watch the wailing man.</p><p>"Don't stare at him. It'll just make it worse," Shepard explained as he fidgeted in his bed.</p><p>"Hn. Are you nervous, Son?" Anderson asked, noticing how fidgety his son was.</p><p>"Nah. I'm just bored. I didn't bring my MP3 player, and my phone's dead— forgot my charger," Shepard replied with a crooked smile.</p><p>"Do you want me to drop them off tomorrow?" Anderson asked, wanting his son to be as relaxed as possible.</p><p>"I ain't gonna be in here that long," Shepard laughed in amusement. "I'll be out in a few days."</p><p>"Your mother's here, along with Hailey," Anderson informed his son with a broad smile.</p><p>"I don't want them to see me here," Shepard said— quietly— as he turned his eyes from his father's.</p><p>"Why? Are you angry?" Anderson asked in confusion.</p><p>"No. It's nothing like that! Look around— do you really think this is the best place for Hailey to visit?" Shepard explained with a bitter tone.</p><p>Anderson saw the truth in Shepard's words. "I understand, but I don't think I can stop your mother. She's worried and really wants to see you."</p><p>"If Mom sees me here— with my roommates— she'll start to worry about me even more. It ain't happening," Shepard insisted, "She don't need that kinda stress."</p><p>"I'll try to get her to understand," Anderson said with a nod, "But— I make no promises."</p><p>"I'm sorry, but it's time for you to go," the nurse informed Anderson as she handed Shepard his mediation.</p><p>"I understand. I guess I'll see you soon, Son," Anderson said as he kissed his son's forehead. "I love you."</p><p>"I love you too," Shepard said with a smile, "Tell Hailey and Mom I said hi and that I love them."</p><p>"Will do," Anderson nodded with a smile before making his way out of the room.</p><p>"Do you need anything to help you sleep tonight?" The nurse asked as she fluffed Shepard's pillows.</p><p>"No. I'm fine," Shepard assured her as he laid back against the pillows.</p><p>"I'll bring your dinner in shortly," the nurse said with a smile as she moved to check the other two patients.</p><p>"I can't wait to get the hell outta here," Shepard admitted aloud as he continued to fidget restlessly.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"David, they wouldn't let us see him," Kahlee said in annoyance, "Something about disturbing the other patients. Is he alright?"</p><p>"He's fine. He sends his love to you and Hailey. Apparently, they're only keeping him for a few days," Anderson explained.</p><p>"Should we wait for Doctor Smith? He's running pretty late, and Hailey's starving," Kahlee said as she continued to watch her restless daughter.</p><p>"I suppose we could just call him," Anderson suggested, "I guess we could all use something to eat. Are you ready to go, Hailey?"</p><p>"Uh-huh," Hailey nodded in agreement, "I'm starving!"</p><p>Kahlee and Anderson couldn't help but laugh in amusement at their daughter as they made their way out of the hospital.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The next day—</b>
</p><p>"Shepard, you have a visitor," the nurse announced as she opened the privacy curtain.</p><p>Shepard's eyes grew wide at the sight of the person before him—</p><p>"Kaidan," Shepard said in disbelief.</p><p>"Hey," Kaidan smiled, his whisky eyes shining brightly.</p><p>"What— How? How did you know I was here?" Shepard asked nervously, uneasy about Kaidan's presence.</p><p>"I kept texting you, but I never got a reply. That's not like you, so I called your mother, and she told me you were in the hospital," Kaidan explained as he took a seat beside Shepard's bedside.</p><p>"How did you get her number?" Shepard asked curiously.</p><p>"She's a counselor at school. Anyone can get her number if they want it," Kaidan replied with an amused grin. "Didn't you know that?"</p><p>"Uh— No. I mean, I knew she worked with kids, but I never knew where she worked. I never had a reason to ask," Shepard admitted with a shrug.</p><p>"You're not much of a people person— are you?" Kaidan said with a teasing grin.</p><p>"No. I really ain't," Shepard admitted with an amused laugh.</p><p>"So, what's up? How are you feeling?" Kaidan asked as he leaned closer to Shepard.</p><p>"Uh— Not much. I'm doing okay. I'm getting released tomorrow," Shepard explained as he started to fidget nervously.</p><p>"Yeah. Hopefully, this will be the last time you have to be here," Kaidan said with a warm smile— his words confusing Shepard.</p><p>"I—I guess," Shepard shrugged, his brow furrowed in confusion.</p><p>"Brain injuries and skull fractures can take a while to heal, but soon, you'll be good as new," Kaidan assured his friend. </p><p><em> 'He thinks you're here because of the accident,' </em> the voice said in amusement, <em> 'That's friggin' hilarious! Good thing your roommates aren’t here. That would have been a major red flag, eh.' </em></p><p>'That is definitely a good thing! I don't want Kaidan to know about me— not yet, anyway,' Shepard admitted silently.</p><p>"Yeah— I should get the green light for hockey. That's good enough for me, yeah," Shepard said with a grin.</p><p>"That's good. So, are you ready for school? It starts in a few weeks," Kaidan asked casually.</p><p>"Eh— not really. I kinda dread it. I just know I'm gonna fall behind," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p><p>"Nah. You're way too smart for that," Kaidan grinned with a wink.</p><p>Shepard smiled, shaking his head in amusement. "You really don't know me. I'm dumb as fuck."</p><p>"I don't believe that." </p><p>"It's true, though. So— I noticed you're here alone. Did your cousin finally go home?"</p><p>"Uh, no. She's actually waiting in the car. We're going to the street fair that my Mom organized," Kaidan explained. "It's a shame you can't come. Today's the last day. I was gonna ask you, but— well, you never answered my texts."</p><p>"My phone died. I didn't bring a charger," Shepard explained nervously.</p><p>"Yeah, I was hoping it was something like that," Kaidan said with a look of relief on his face.</p><p>"I like talking to you, Kaidan. You know that, right?" Shepard said softly.</p><p>"Yeah," Kaidan said as he took Shepard's hand in his. "I like talking to you too."</p><p>"I—I wanna get to know you. I know it might seem like I've been avoiding you lately, but I ain't. I swear, I ain't," Shepard tried hard to explain, "It just seems like I never got the time. I've been so busy, and I ain't felt the best lately, you know what I mean?"</p><p>"I think I understand," Kaidan said with a grin. </p><p>"I'm sorry, but time's up," the nurse informed the young man with a smile.</p><p>"Yeah, I should probably get going anyway. Ashley's probably bored stiff," Kaidan said with a sigh as he reluctantly let go of Shepard's hand. "I'll be waiting for your text," Kaidan whispered as he hugged Shepard goodbye— surprising the young blonde with a kiss on the cheek.</p><p>"I'll text you sometime tomorrow. I promise," Shepard smiled as he watched his friend exit the room.</p><p>"See ya, Shepard," Kaidan waved before disappearing down the hall.</p><p>"I guess I'm back in the game," Shepard whispered aloud with a happy grin.</p><p><em> 'That guy is the epitome of hot-and-cold,' </em>the voice snickered in amusement.</p><p>"Yep. He really is," Shepard agreed with a nod, "But I'm stupid enough to try."</p><p><em> 'You really are, aren't you,' </em>the voice teased in amusement.</p><p>"Yeah. I really am," Shepard agreed. "I guess we'll see what happens, eh?"</p><p>
  <em> 'I guess we will—' </em>
</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"It's about time you got back," Ashley scolded her cousin as he entered the vehicle. "Did you have a nice visit?"</p><p>"I did, actually," Kaidan admitted with a smile. "He's doing well and should be going home tomorrow."</p><p>"That's good, I guess," Ashley said with a shrug. "So, can I ask you something?"</p><p>"Shoot," Kaidan replied as he started the car, preparing to exit the parkade.</p><p>"Why are you so determined to be this guy's friend? What makes him so special?" Ashley asked curiously.</p><p>"I don't know. He's just— he's different. He's not from around here. So, I figured he could use a friend," Kaidan replied with a shrug.</p><p>"So, he's not from Vancouver. Where's he from?" Ashley asked as she started messing with the radio.</p><p>"He <b>is</b> from Vancouver. I'm sorry if I confused you. He's from the Downtown Eastside," Kaidan admitted as he continued on towards their destination. "You know he's a foster kid, so life hasn't been the easiest for him."</p><p>"Oh, I get it now," Ashley replied with a bright smile, "He's a charity case for you. You feel bad, so you're showing him a little kindness. Very noble of you."</p><p>"Do you have to say it like that? I mean, my heart goes out to him, but that's not the reason I want to be friends— well, not the <b>only</b> reason anyway," Kaidan explained in mild irritation. </p><p>"You are so adorable! I gotta say, you make a great white knight," Ashley teased as she settled on a music station.</p><p>"Uh-huh," Kaidan said with an amused smile.</p><p>"So, I heard Rahna's coming back," Ashley said casually— making Kaidan shift uneasily in his seat.</p><p>"Who told you that?" Kaidan asked quietly.</p><p>"She did," Ashley answered with a smug grin. "She also told me that she misses you. I think she wants to fix things between you."</p><p>"I doubt it, Ash. Nothing is going to change the fact that she left. I got in one stupid fight, and she painted me as a violent thug that she couldn't trust anymore," Kaidan bitterly reminded his cousin, "I still have no idea what her logic was."</p><p>"Did you ask her about it?" Ashley asked curiously.</p><p>"Of course, I did," Kaidan said with a nod, "She just shot me down and refused to talk about it."</p><p>"Well, maybe she's ready to talk now," Ashley suggested with a grin. </p><p>"Maybe," Kaidan shrugged, skeptical of the situation.</p><p>"You <b>do </b>still love her, don't you?" Ashley asked, cocking her brow at her beloved cousin.</p><p>"Of course, I do," Kaidan admitted truthfully, "It's just— I don't wanna get my hopes up."</p><p>"Yeah, I get that," Ashley said with a nod. "Just promise me,  you'll give it a chance. I always liked Rahna, and I think you guys are perfect together."</p><p>"We'll see, Ash," Kaidan whispered as he continued to drive— feeling more confused than he had in months, "We'll see—"</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next Chapter:  James is bombarded with hockey pucks as the guys have some good-natured fun. Shepard and Kaidan have an intimate moment—</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Blow Me Away</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Shepard and the boys train James to be a goalie. And Shepard and Kaidan share an intimate moment—</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>***WARNING***<br/>SEXUAL CONTENT</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"John, we're taking Hailey out to pick up a few things for school. Do you want to come with us?" Kahlee asked as she picked up her purse from the kitchen counter.</p><p>"Nah. I don't really feel like shopping," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p><p>"Are you feeling okay? It's only been a couple of days since you were released from the hospital. You aren't feeling any adverse side-effects, are you?" Kahlee asked anxiously.</p><p>"I'm fine, Mom. I just ain't a fan of shopping," Shepard assured his mother with a crooked smile.</p><p>"Okay. You win. Do you need anything— school supplies, maybe— pens, pencils, paper?" Kahlee asked as she rubbed her son's back gently.</p><p>"Um— I'm not sure. I ain't used to public school," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p><p>"I'll pick up some extra things— just in case," Kaylee said before calling for her daughter, "Hailey, it's time to go!"</p><p>"Coming, Mommy," Hailey replied as she came running to her mother's side.</p><p>"You be good, squirt," Shepard teased as he playfully yanked her braid.</p><p>"I'm always good," Hailey grinned mischievously.</p><p>"Uh-huh," Shepard nodded skeptically.</p><p>"Any plans for today, Son?" Anderson asked as he picked up his baby girl.</p><p>"I promised Garrus I would help him out with James," Shepard explained, "Apparently, Garrus thinks James would make a great goalie."</p><p>"Huh? I didn't know James could skate?" Anderson said, cocking his brow in doubt.</p><p>"Yeah, I didn't either," Shepard grinned at his father.</p><p>"Well, we better get going," Anderson said as he herded his family to the door. "We'll see you later tonight. Be good! Love you, Son."</p><p>"Love you guys. Be safe, eh," Shepard said as he saw his family off.</p><p><em> 'I hope Garrus gets here soon. It's boring as fuck here,' </em>the voice complained.</p><p>"He'll be here— just give him a few minutes," Shepard chuckled as he made his way back to his bedroom.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Twenty minutes later—</b>
</p><p>Shepard could hear the sound of a horn blaring, and he knew Garrus had arrived. Wasting no time, Shepard gathered his things and hastily made his way outside.</p><p>"Hey, Shepard! Are you ready to help create the best goalie ever?" Garrus asked as Shepard took his seat on the passenger's side.</p><p>"Oh, yeah. I can't hide my enthusiasm," Shepard deadpanned as he quickly changed the radio station. "How'd this come about anyway? I mean, can you even skate, Vega?" </p><p>"Of course, I can— just not well," James admitted from the back-seat.</p><p>"Uh-huh," Shepard said in doubt.</p><p>"Come on, Shepard— you <b>know </b>how horrible our goalie is. You saw it with your own eyes," Garrus reminded his blue-eyed friend.</p><p>"He's a mess," James said in agreement.</p><p>"Yeah, I know— but what makes James a better choice? He's never even played before," Shepard pointed out as he put a piece of gum in his mouth.</p><p>"I want a piece!" James whined, causing Shepard to roll his eyes as he handed him a piece.</p><p>"Garrus?" Shepard offered as he held out the pack to his friend.</p><p>"Nah, I'm good. Anyway, to answer your question— look at him. He's a big guy. Hell, he takes up most of the net. If we can teach him some common saves, I think he'll be great," Garrus explained with a grin.</p><p>"You are a big motherfucker. That ain't no lie. Do you think you can take it? Getting hit by pucks— it fucking sucks," Shepard asked his friend seriously— wanting his friend to know, exactly, what he was getting into.</p><p>"I can take it. No problem, Loco. I got this. Besides, I gotta be better than what we got now," James reminded them.</p><p>"He has a point," Shepard admitted before nodding his head in agreement, "This is a crazy idea, but I like it. We can do this."</p><p>"That's what I like to hear," Garrus chuckled. "Is Ryan going to assist us, or is he busy today?"</p><p>"He's supposed to meet us there," Shepard informed his friends. "Is anyone else coming?"</p><p>"Tali's coming to watch. She can't resist a good laugh," Garrus snickered.</p><p>"Yeah, yeah— laugh it up, Scars," James said as he flipped his friend off.</p><p>"Hn," Shepard mumbled.</p><p>"Kaidan's supposed to be there too," Garrus said with a knowing grin.</p><p>"Is he?" Shepard asked curiously.</p><p>"Yep," Garrus explained, "He's supposed to be bringing Joker with him."</p><p>"Who's Joker?" Shepard asked in confusion.</p><p>"He's an asshole, but a really good guy," James replied truthfully.</p><p>"How the fuck can he be an asshole <b>and</b> a good guy? Is that even possible?" Shepard asked, his brow furrowed in confusion.</p><p>"With Joker,  it's 100% possible. You'll understand when you meet him. He has some kind of bone disease, so he walks kinda funny," Garrus explained.</p><p>"His girlfriend's hot as fuck, by the way," James chimed in with a grin.</p><p>"Yeah— so what," Shepard shrugged.</p><p>"Oh, I forgot— you're, uh— you," James said awkwardly, causing Shepard to break out laughing.</p><p>"I fucking love how adorably awkward you can be, James," Shepard admitted.</p><p>"Well, we're here. Time for class, Jimmy," Garrus informed his well-muscled friend as he parked the car.</p><p>"Let's do this," James said enthusiastically, as he put the goalie mask over his face in anticipation.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"What took you guys so goddamn long," Ryan asked as he threw his arm around Shepard— kissing his cheek hard in greeting.</p><p>"Yeah, sorry about that," Garrus said apologetically. "It took a while to get the gear in the car."</p><p>"So, James, has your skating improved?" Ryan asked with a cheeky grin.</p><p>"Whoa, hold up— when did you see James skate?" Shepard asked in confusion.</p><p>"He was with Hailey and me when I took her out to skate. You were hospitalized and couldn't join us. Remember?" Ryan explained as he casually rubbed his best friend's back.</p><p>"Aw— I can't believe I missed it," Shepard pouted in disappointment.</p><p>"Hold on— I got a video," Ryan said as he scrolled through his phone.</p><p>"Not cool, Ryan," James pouted as Ryan waited for the video to load.</p><p>Once they were all gathered 'round, Ryan pushed play—</p><p>The entire group burst into laughter at the image of James flailing on the ice while Hailey skated circles around him.</p><p>"Are you okay, Vega? Do you need some help?" Hailey asked as she continued to skate in a circle around her awkward friend.</p><p>"Nope. I'm fine— I got this, baby girl," James insisted as he attempted to get up from the ice before falling once more, "¡Mierda!"</p><p>"Ryan, you better come get him," Hailey called out— giggling as she continued skating 'round-and-'round her fallen friend. "You look like a beached whale," Hailey snickered.</p><p>"Oh, my god! That's fucking hilarious!" Garrus said as he bent over laughing.</p><p>"Please tell me you've been practising," Shepard grinned.</p><p>"Of course, I have," James informed his friend in annoyance. "Okay, fun's over. Let's get down to it."</p><p>"First of all, you need to go get geared up," Shepard instructed his friend. "Then, we can start getting you used to pucks flying at your face."</p><p>"Uh-huh," James said skeptically, "And how are you gonna do that?"</p><p>"You'll see," Shepard insisted as he pushed James towards the locker room.</p><p>Once James was geared up, he took his place in front of the net—</p><p>"He looks like the goddamn Stay Puft Marshmallow Man," Ryan snickered, causing Garrus to burst into laughter.</p><p>"The what now," Shepard asked, brow cocked in confusion.</p><p>"Jeez, J, you really didn't have a childhood, did you," Ryan said with a sigh.</p><p>"I really fucking didn't," Shepard admitted with a laugh.</p><p>"Okay, I'm here. Whattaya want me to do?" James asked, feeling a bit out of his element.</p><p>"Who wants the first shot?" Shepard asked, causing James to tense up slightly.</p><p>"First— shot?"</p><p>"Relax, Jimmy. We won't kill you— at least, I hope we won't anyway," Garrus teased.</p><p>"I'll pop his cherry," Ryan offered as he took his place in front of the puck.</p><p>"Not too hard, eh," Shepard reminded his grey-eyed friend.</p><p>"Don't worry, Baby Boy— I'll be a perfect gentleman," Ryan teased as he took his shot, sending the puck flying directly at James— hitting him right in the face.</p><p>The hit knocked James flat on his ass, causing the rest of the guys to flinch in sympathy.</p><p>"Nice," Shepard said as he playfully slapped Ryan on the back.</p><p>"I do my best," Ryan grinned as they skated over to check on their friend.</p><p>"Get up, you pussy!" A short young man with reddish-brown hair and green eyes called out, causing Shepard to look his way.</p><p>"Who the fuck is that?" Shepard asked curiously.</p><p>"That would be Joker," Garrus snickered as he knelt down beside their fallen friend.</p><p>"You okay, Jimmy," Garrus asked as James rose to a sitting position. </p><p>"What the fuck was that!? I thought it was gonna take my goddamn head off," James admitted as he allowed Garrus to help him to his feet.</p><p>"Nah, I didn't hit the puck that hard. Besides, your gear did its job. The face mask protected you. It'll get easier once you get used to it," Ryan promised.</p><p>"Yeah, I don't think I can take another hit like that," James said as he adjusted his facemask.</p><p>"He's fucked when you take a shot, Baby Boy," Ryan said with a knowing grin. </p><p>"Whattaya mean?" James asked nervously.</p><p>"Shepard's shots are really— robust. Even his regular shots are strong," Garrus explained.</p><p>"Then, I vote we skip him," James suggested with a nervous whine.</p><p>"Nope, you need to get used to it," Garrus said as he took his place in front of the puck. "Ready, Jimmy? Here it comes!" </p><p>"No, wait," James pleaded, but it was too late.</p><p>Soon, James was being bombarded by pucks on all sides, but instead of trying to swat them away, he was curling into a ball— trying his best not to get hit.</p><p>"Yo, James! Stop acting like a little bitch and take one for the team!" Joker teased from the stands, causing Shepard to shake his head in amusement.</p><p>"Fuck you, Joker," James yelled back, flipping the heckler off for emphasis.</p><p>"He's right, though," Shepard admitted with a crooked grin. "This ain't gonna work if you keep cowering like a goddamn pussy. You're covered in protective gear, dude. You have nothing to worry about. So, suck it up."</p><p>"Yeah, I'd love to, Loco— but I just can't. My reflexes kick in, and I curl into a ball. It's totally automatic with me," James explained.</p><p>"Hmm— Hey, J, I got an idea that just might work," Ryan said with a mischievous grin.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"Are you guys fucking kidding me!?" James asked as he struggled against his restraints, "How the hell am I supposed to block the puck if I can't move?"</p><p>"Well, in order to block the puck, you first have to get over your fear of the puck," Ryan insisted with a smirk.</p><p>"So— what? Are you gonna keep hitting me until I stop flinching?" James asked nervously.</p><p>"Uh, yeah. That's about the size of it," Shepard said as he took his place behind the puck.</p><p>"You're loco! You're all loco!" James whined as his three friends peppered him with pucks. </p><p>This went on for another ten minutes before James finally broke. </p><p>"Okay! That's it! I've had it! The next one that sends a puck in my direction is getting it back with interest," James promised with a growl.</p><p>"Now, that's what I like to hear," Shepard grinned as he released James from his restraints. "You ready to get serious?"</p><p>"Hell yeah! Bring it on," James insisted as Shepard gave Ryan a nod.</p><p>Ryan sent the puck flying at maximum velocity in the hopes their friend would deflect it—</p><p>And defect it— he did—</p><p>"I think he's got it," Garrus praised as he watched James deflect all they had to give.</p><p>"I'm calling time," Ryan said, slightly out of breath as he spoke.</p><p>"Yeah, we've been at it a while," Garrus agreed with a nod.</p><p>"James, I think you'll make a fine goalie. You should have no trouble making the team," Shepard praised his friend as he gave him a pat on the back.</p><p>"Thanks, Loco," James said appreciatively. "You guys really came through. Gracias."</p><p>"No problem," Shepard assured his friend. "Now, I think we all need a shower."</p><p>"Amen to that," Ryan agreed as they made their way to the locker room.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"You guys did the impossible," Joker teased, "You taught this meathead how to be a half-way decent goalie."</p><p>"You never shoulda doubted me, Joker," James grinned, proud of his accomplishment.</p><p>"Yeah, yeah. I take it this pretty boy's the guy you've all been talking about," Joker asked, motioning towards Shepard.</p><p>"Yep, this is Shepard. Shepard, meet Joker," Garrus introduced the two as he gave Tali a quick kiss.</p><p>"Nice to finally meet you. You better hope you're as good as they say, or the students will eat you alive— no matter how pretty you are," Joker warned the young blonde.</p><p>"Huh?" Shepard asked, cocking his head to the side in confusion.</p><p>"Jeff means well. He just explains things poorly," Liara said as she took her place beside Tali. </p><p>"You guys already told everyone that you had a ringer on the team," Ryan surmised, brow raised in disappointment. "That's gonna make things hard on J. You know that, don't you? The first time you guys lose a game, Baby Boy's gonna get all the blame. It's not very fair— you know that, right?"</p><p>"Yeah, we didn't really think that far ahead. Sorry, Shepard," James apologized.</p><p>"It's fine. I'll just have to work a little harder, that's all," Shepard assured with a grin.</p><p>"That's my Baby Boy," Ryan praised as he kissed the side of his best friend's head.</p><p>"Jeff, shouldn't you be more supportive of your friends," a beautiful young lady with blonde hair— cut just above her shoulders and blue eyes scolded Joker before taking a seat beside him.</p><p>"Yeah, sure thing, Mom," Joker said sarcastically.</p><p>"Shepard, this is Edi— Joker's girlfriend. Edi, this is Shepard," Garrus introduced them with a smile.</p><p>"Hello, Shepard," Edi greeted in the most attractive voice Shepard had ever heard on a woman.</p><p>"Hello," Shepard replied back with a nod.</p><p>"Nice job out there, James," Kaidan praised as he took his place beside Edi. "You're a very quick learner."</p><p>"Yeah. I didn't have much choice once they tied me to the goal," James said with a grin.</p><p>"Yeah. Whoever came up with that idea deserves a freaking medal! That was honestly the funniest thing I've seen in a while," Joker admitted.</p><p>"Ryan came up with it, actually," Shepard said proudly, "All praise should go to him."</p><p>"Aw— thanks, Baby Boy," Ryan hugged Shepard's shoulders."You're so good to me."</p><p>Kaidan couldn't help but feel jealous of the closeness of the two friends.</p><p>"Do you want a ride home?" Kaidan asked suddenly, causing Shepard to grin and cock his head to the side in contemplation.</p><p>"I dunno. I came here with Garrus, but if you're going my way— I'll ride with you," Shepard agreed with a grin.</p><p>"Well, it would save me and Jimmy some time," Garrus admitted with a knowing smirk.</p><p>"You sure it won't be any trouble?" Shepard asked curiously.</p><p>"No trouble at all. Joker's going to catch a ride back with the girls, so— yeah—"</p><p>Ryan noticed the look of arousal in Kaidan's amber eyes and couldn't help but smile.</p><p>"Well, I guess we should all head out. It's getting kinda late," Ryan announced as he put his arm around Shepard, "I need to talk to you in private for a second, Baby Boy."</p><p>"Sure," Shepard grinned as he followed Ryan outside.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"Kaidan <b>really </b>wants to be alone with you," Ryan informed his friend with a wink.</p><p>"You can't possibly know that," Shepard chuckled in amusement.</p><p>"Trust me, Baby Boy," Ryan insisted, "He's definitely into you. If he wasn't so reserved, he'd be all over you."</p><p>"Do you think I should try to make a move on him?" Shepard asked, desperate for his friend's input.</p><p>"That depends— do you <b>want </b>to make a move on him?" Ryan asked curiously.</p><p>"God, yes," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p><p>"Then I say— go for it! But call and let me know what happens," Ryan grinned— mischievously— as he kissed Shepard on the forehead before turning to see the entire group heading to their cars. "I guess it's time to go. Love you, Baby Boy! Text me when you get home, and— good luck!"</p><p>"Thanks, Walker. Love you! Be safe," Shepard called out as he watched Ryan get into his car.</p><p>Shepard waved and said his goodbyes to all the others— until, finally, he and Kaidan were alone.</p><p>"You ready to head out," Kaidan asked suddenly, causing Shepard to jump slightly. "Did I startle you?"</p><p>"Eh— maybe a little. Don't worry about it. I'm ready when you are," Shepard replied as he followed Kaidan to his car.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>The drive to Shepard's house was quiet and full of sexual tension. Shepard could feel it hanging in the air, and it excited him to no end. </p><p>"Do you wanna come in?" Shepard asked quietly— hoping Kaidan would accept.</p><p>"Are you sure? I don't want to be an inconvenience," Kaidan replied nervously.</p><p>"You could never be an inconvenience, Kaidan," Shepard assured the whisky-eyed teen as he tugged at the brunette's sleeve, "Come on in, yeah."</p><p>"Sure," Kaidan agreed anxiously.</p><p>"So, I didn't see your cousin. Is she not here anymore?" Shepard asked as he led Kaidan to his bedroom.</p><p>"Uh— yeah— actually. She had to go back for school," Kaidan replied honestly.</p><p><em> 'Thank god! The cock-blocker is gone,' </em>the voice snickered, causing Shepard to grin mischievously.</p><p>Once Shepard had Kaidan in his room, he quickly locked the door.</p><p>"Do you always lock your door?" Kaidan asked in nervous amusement.</p><p>"Yep. It keeps Hailey and my Mom from walking in on me when I'm changing and doing other— stuff," Shepard admitted, licking his lips wickedly.</p><p>"I see," Kaidan said, unable to take his eyes off the charismatic blue-eyed blonde.</p><p>"Do you mind if I change my shirt?" Shepard asked casually, "This one's burning me up."</p><p>"Uh, no— of course not— by all means," Kaidan replied, giving Shepard the go-ahead.</p><p>Shepard immediately took the shirt off, throwing it in the nearby hamper.</p><p>Kaidan was instantly turned on by the sight of the blue-eyed blonde's chest— all lean muscles, with broad shoulders, and a narrow waist, with a perfectly sculpted set of abs. That alone would have been enough, but the attraction was made even greater by the many tattoos that covered the young man's body.</p><p>"Are those maple leaves?" Kaidan asked as he noticed the colourful artwork that ran along the right side of the blue-eyed blonde's body.</p><p>"Yep. Do you like 'em?" Shepard asked, moving closer so his friend could get a better look.</p><p>"They're beautiful," Kaidan whispered as his eyes followed the line of the leaves.</p><p>"You can touch 'em— if you want," Shepard said with a seductive grin.</p><p>Kaidan swallowed— thickly— as he traced the leaves with his fingers, loving the feel of Shepard's skin under his fingertips.</p><p>"H—how far down do they go?" Kaidan asked, unable to deny his arousal.</p><p>"I'll show you," Shepard whispered as he slowly unbuttoned his jeans, pulling them low, revealing just enough skin to make Kaidan's heart race in anticipation of more.</p><p>As if taken by a sudden compulsion, Kaidan closed his eyes and began to kiss the leaves on Shepard's body, shocking the young blonde with his boldness.</p><p>"Fuck," Shepard whispered under his breath. "Come here," Shepard instructed as he pulled the brunette up to his feet, kissing him slowly— letting their tongues dance wildly as their hearts raced with excitement.</p><p>'What the hell am I doing? I'm in love with Rahna! I'm not even gay. Why can't I resist him?' Kaidan thought to himself as Shepard gently pushed him onto the bed.</p><p>Shepard grinned as he slowly began to kiss the whisky-eyed brunette's neck.</p><p>"You smell so good," Shepard mumbled as he inhaled the young man's scent, "And you taste even better."</p><p>Kaidan just moaned as Shepard slowly worked his way down his body. </p><p>Before long, Shepard was mouthing Kaidan's clothed sex, causing the whisky-eyed teen to tangle his fingers in Shepard's dark-blonde hair.</p><p>"Hmm— that feels so good," Kaidan whispered aloud as Shepard slowly unbuttoned his jeans.</p><p>"What are you doing?" Kaidan mumbled as Shepard freed Kaidan's sex from the confines of his jeans. </p><p>"I'm gonna make you feel really fucking good, " Shepard promised as he took Kaidan into his mouth.</p><p>"Oh, god," Kaidan whined as he held on tight to Shepard's hair— trying his best to thrust himself further into Shepard's hot mouth.</p><p>Shepard took his time with Kaidan, enjoying all the little sounds coming from the amber-eyed beauty.</p><p>"More," Kaidan whined, causing Shepard to grin— wickedly— as he took Kaidan deep into his throat. "Oh, my god!" Kaidan whined in unexpected pleasure as he started thrusting himself roughly into the blue-eyed blonde's throat.</p><p>Shepard was beyond aroused but ignored the throbbing of his own cock in favour of concentrating on Kaidan's impending orgasm.</p><p>Kaidan was totally mesmerized by the young blonde's sexy wild-blue eyes staring intently at him. With Kaidan's cock filling his beautiful mouth— his lips red and slightly swollen as he continued to deep-throat the whisky-eyed brunette— Shepard was a beautiful sight.</p><p>"Cum for me, K," Shepard pleaded before taking Kaidan back into his mouth, swallowing him to the hilt.</p><p>Shepard's words were enough to send Kaidan over the edge, causing him to cum hard into the blue-eyed teen's velvety throat. His body shook in pleasure— his hips stuttering uncontrollably.</p><p>Shepard smiled around Kaidan's dick, tasting the young man's cum on his tongue as it flooded his mouth and throat.</p><p>'He tastes good,' Shepard admitted as he tried his best to swallow all Kaidan had given him.</p><p><em> 'Hot damn! The boy cums like a motherfucker! Sex with him is gonna be fun!' </em>The voice admitted with a pleased laugh.</p><p>'It's so good. I can't— I can't stop cumming,' Kaidan thought to himself as his body continued to spasm in pleasure.</p><p>A few moments later, Kaidan's body finally stilled, as Shepard gently eased Kaidan's cock from his mouth.</p><p>"You taste good, baby," Shepard said with a wink as he kissed Kaidan deeply— allowing the whisky-eyed teen to taste himself on Shepard's tongue.</p><p>Kaidan couldn't help but moan at the taste.</p><p>"Was it good for you?" Shepard asked with a smile.</p><p>"Uh-huh," Kaidan replied hazily before finally realizing the implications of what had just happened.</p><p>'What have I done? I let a guy suck my dick! But not just <b>any</b> guy— it was Shepard. OH, MY GOD! I LET SHEPARD SUCK MY DICK! What the hell is wrong with me!' Kaidan thought as he bolted up-right on the bed as panic began to set in.</p><p>"I—I should go," Kaidan said nervously, causing Shepard's brow to furrow in confusion.</p><p>"Kaidan, it's okay. You don't have to be upset. I did what I did 'cause I wanted to. You don't gotta do nothin' to me in return. And if you don't want nobody to know— I won't tell nobody. I swear, I won't. It'll be our little secret," Shepard pleaded, afraid of losing his friend, "Please, Kaidan, don't freak out on me."</p><p>"You don't understand! This makes no sense! What happened here— what you did to me— I never should have allowed it," Kaidan replied anxiously, "It's not like me. I'm not gay! But whenever I'm around you, you make me wanna do things I'd never do. I just— I can't. I'm sorry, Shepard. I can't deal with this right now."</p><p>"Kaidan, please don't go. Just stay and talk to me, please. I won't do anything to make you uncomfortable— not ever again, just don't leave," Shepard pleaded one last time.</p><p>"I'm sorry, Shepard," Kaidan whispered as he adjusted his clothing before unlocking the door and rushing out of the house.</p><p>"What the fuck did I do wrong!" Shepard screamed from the top of his lungs.  "He was so goddamn into it, and he never once asked me to stop— so, please, tell me what I did to fuck it all up!"</p><p>
  <em> 'You didn't do anything wrong. He's just confused. He likes you and doesn't know how to handle it,' the voice surmised, 'Just give him some time, eh. Let him figure out what he wants.'  </em>
</p><p>"Yeah. I guess that's all I can do," Shepard agreed with a sigh. "I wasn't too forward, was I? I mean, I didn't force myself on him or anything, did I?"</p><p><em> 'Of course not! Don't ever think that! You hear me,' </em> the voice replied sternly. <em> 'This shit is all on him!'  </em></p><p>"Maybe, but it still fucking hurts," Shepard admitted aloud. "I'm scared. I don't wanna lose my friend over a goddamn blowjob."</p><p>
  <em> 'Let him calm down for a few days, and everything will be fine. You'll see.' </em>
</p><p>"God, I hope you're right," Shepard groaned as he plopped down on his bed, covering his too-blue eyes with his arm.</p><p>
  <em> 'Me too, kid. Me too— </em>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next Chapter:  Kaidan pushes Shepard away, and hockey tryouts begin—</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Mixed Signals</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Kaidan pushes Shepard away. Jack and Shepard are reunited as hockey tryouts begin.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Time passed quickly, and before Shepard knew it— school was in session. The first few days were stressful, to say the least. It was taking Shepard forever to adjust to his new schedule. The building was overly large, making it a nightmare for Shepard to navigate. He found himself becoming lost and disoriented more often than he would like to admit. And the students— they only made Shepard realize just how out of place he really was.</p><p>"Good morning, Son," Anderson greeted the blue-eyed teen with a smile as he poured Shepard a cup of coffee.</p><p>"'Morning," Shepard mumbled as he took the cup from his father.</p><p>"I take it school isn't going as well as you had hoped it would," Anderson said with a concerned frown.</p><p>"I hate it," Shepard answered truthfully.</p><p>"Uh-huh. Care to elaborate," Anderson asked with an amused grin.</p><p>"I just don't belong there. It's so fucking obvious. They're all high-class— and it shows. I swear you can smell the goddamn money coming off them," Shepard explained, "Most of 'em avoid me like the plague, and that's just fine with me. That ain't the problem, though."</p><p>"What's the problem, Son?" Anderson asked curiously.</p><p>"It's the building— it's so goddamn big. I keep getting lost. I can't seem to remember the layout, no matter how hard I try. And sometimes I'm late for class because of it. I've gotten in trouble so many times for being late. It's fucking embarrassing," Shepard anxiously admitted.</p><p>"Do you have any friends in your classes? Maybe they can help you out," Anderson suggested.</p><p>"I—I ain't got a lot of classes with them. I didn't test well. I got a few remedial classes," Shepard explained, afraid of what his father might think.</p><p>"Well, that makes things difficult. Hopefully, things will get easier. I think we need to get you a doctor's note. It will explain things to your teachers," Anderson suggested.</p><p>"Whattaya mean?" Shepard asked, totally confused by his father's suggestion.</p><p>"You're having trouble remembering things— and the layout of the building just happens to be one of those things. It's a side-effect from your brain injury," Anderson explained with a sad smile.</p><p>"I—I dunno— I'm weird enough. I don't want nobody to know I'm having trouble," Shepard admitted nervously.</p><p>"No one would know— well, no one except the teachers and staff of the school," Anderson promised.</p><p>"I'll think about it," Shepard said as he finished off his cup of coffee.</p><p>"About your classes— did you get held back a year?" Anderson asked casually.</p><p>"NO! I'm still a senior. I just— I ain't in the normal classes. I mean, I got a few normal classes— easy things— like shop, or math— I do okay in math— shocking, I know— but I pass. And I got James and Garrus with me then, so it's a bit better. I just don't do good in classes where I gotta read a lot. My Language Arts teacher wants me to get a tutor, but I don't know nobody."</p><p>"Maybe your mother could find someone to help?" Anderson suggested with a grin.</p><p>"No. I don't want to bother her with my shit. I'll take care of it," Shepard insisted as his mother and sister entered the kitchen.</p><p>"Hey, Loco," Hailey said as she hopped onto Shepard's lap. </p><p>"Hey. You're in a good mood this morning," Shepard chuckled as he bounced her on his knee.</p><p>"Yep. We get to go on a field trip today," Hailey informed her brother with an excited smile.</p><p>"Yeah? Where to?" Shepard asked curiously.</p><p>"The museum," Hailey simply answered as she took a piece of toast from her mother's hand. "It's gonna be fun."</p><p>"Yeah, sounds like it," Shepard grinned.</p><p>"Anything fun happening for you today?" Hailey asked, cocking her tiny head to the side.</p><p>"Hockey tryouts are this evening," Shepard said with a grin. "That should be fun."</p><p>"I had almost forgotten about that," Kahlee said with an amused laugh. "Do you want me to keep your hockey bag in my office? I don't think it'll fit in your locker, and I don't think you have enough time to come all the way back here before tryouts start."</p><p>"Yeah. That sounds like a good idea. Thanks, Mom," Shepard admitted gratefully.</p><p>"You should be on your way before you miss your bus," Anderson reminded his son as he rose from the table.</p><p>"Yeah," Shepard agreed with a nod as he kissed the top of his sister's head before removing her from his lap. "Love you, Hailey. Love you, Dad. Mom."</p><p>"We love you too," Kahlee replied as she finished preparing Hailey's lunch. "I'll see you at school."</p><p>"I'm gonna put my gear in your car— if that's alright," Shepard informed his mother.</p><p>"That's fine," Kahlee assured her son as she watched him exit the house.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>The first few classes went well for Shepard. He had somehow managed to make it to all of them without being late— a feat Shepard was proud of. Everything was fine, right up until lunch—</p><p>"So, tryouts start at three-thirty. You can ride with Jimmy and me if you'd like," Garrus offered as he continued to eat his lunch.</p><p>"Sounds good," Shepard agreed with a nod as Tali made her way towards their table with her friends in tow.</p><p>'Oh, great— more people,' Shepard thought with a sigh.</p><p>"So, are you guys looking forward to tryouts? I hear the team prospects are looking great this year," Tali commented with a smile.</p><p>"Some of them are looking better than others," A beautiful young woman with dark-brown hair, blue-eyes, and an Australian accent, chimed in as she passed by their table— winking at Shepard as she passed.</p><p>Shepard couldn't help but grin at her boldness. "Who's that?"</p><p>That's Miranda Lawson. She's perfect, or she thinks she is anyway. In reality— she's a bitch," Tali explained casually.</p><p>"Ah, I see," Shepard said with a nod.</p><p>"Don't get me wrong— I respect her. She's very intelligent and gets things done— but she's still a bitch. I think she knows it, though," Tali admitted.</p><p>"Miranda's known for her taste in men. Her interest in you could help boost your popularity," Liara offered with a bright smile.</p><p>"Yeah, I ain't interested in popularity contests," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p><p>"Fair enough," Liara said with an understanding nod.</p><p>"Kaidan! Rahna! Over here!" Tali called out as she motioned them over. "Shepard, that's Rahna. You are going to love her! She's the sweetest person ever!"</p><p><em> 'Yeah, I highly doubt it,' </em>the voice said knowingly.</p><p>Shepard's smile faded as he began to feel anxious. 'I really don't want to meet nobody today, especially not one of Kaidan's ex-girlfriends.'</p><p>Rahna was a pretty Turkish girl with dark-brown hair, tanned skin, and warm brown eyes. She had an air of kindness about her, and Shepard could see why Kaidan had been interested in her. They were probably perfect for each other— and that thought made Shepard sick to his stomach. </p><p>"Hey, how's everyone doing?" Kaidan asked with a smile, careful to avoid Shepard's gaze.</p><p>"We're good— just looking forward to hockey tryouts. Are you coming to watch the action?" Garrus asked as he finished off his sandwich.</p><p>"Well, that depends on Rahna, actually," Kaidan replied with a hint of nervousness in his voice.</p><p>"I would love to!" Rahna said with a bright smile. "Kaidan, who's your new friend? He wasn't here last year, was he?" </p><p>"Uh— No, he wasn't. This is Shepard. Shepard, this is Rahna— my girlfriend," Kaidan introduced them quickly, still managing to avoid Shepard's intense sapphire-blue eyes.</p><p><em> 'YOUR WHAT!?' </em>Shepard and his inner voice thought in perfect unison.</p><p>Shepard's heart sank as he became nauseous at the thought.</p><p>"Hello," Rahna said warmly— as she waved at the young blonde.</p><p>"Hi," Shepard mumbled as he gave a half-wave. "I—I gotta go get something. I'll see you guys later."</p><p>Shepard never said another word— he just took off, leaving the rest of the table in awkward silence.</p><p>"He's— odd. Isn't he?" Rahna asked in mild amusement.</p><p>"Yeah. Loco's different for sure," James admitted with a grin.</p><p>"Maybe I should go check on him," Kaidan offered aloud.</p><p>"Nah. I think he'll do just fine on his own," Garrus said, giving Kaidan a look that told him to stay away from his friend. "He's better off alone in times like this."</p><p>Kaidan couldn't help but shiver at the coldness of Garrus's words. 'Does he know? Did Shepard tell him about that day?'</p><p>"KAIDAN! The bell rang. We need to get to class, you silly boy," Rahna teased as she took her boyfriend by the hand, leading him out of the cafeteria.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>Shepard struggled desperately with his locker— the stress from seeing Kaidan with Rahna making him forget the combination.</p><p>"Open up, you goddamn piece of shit," Shepard growled as he tried once more to remember the combination.</p><p>He hit the locker several more times with his fist before trying one last time to open the offending locker. Finally— it clicked open— just in time for the tardy bell to ring.</p><p>"Fuck my life!" Shepard yelled as he slammed the locker door.</p><p>Shepard stood silently in the middle of the now-empty hall, confused as to what direction his class was in.</p><p>"Hey, you alright there, buddy," a Black teen with a muscular build and medium-brown eyes called out from further down the hall.</p><p>"Uh— Yeah. Do you happen to know where Mr. Solus's class is? I'm new here, and I'm a bit lost," Shepard admitted.</p><p>"Yeah. I'll show you. It's on my way. I've got Computer Science this period and was picking up a message for the teacher. You're lucky I passed by," the young man said with a grin as he led Shepard to the classroom. "My name's Taylor— Jacob Taylor. You can call me Jacob."</p><p>"Shepard— just Shepard," Shepard replied as he followed the young man up the stairs.</p><p>"Well, here we are. I think you're in the clear with Mordin. He's not exactly interested in punishing people for being tardy— as long as you don't make a habit of it, of course," Jacob explained as he made his way to the classroom next door.</p><p>"Thanks, Jacob," Shepard said appreciatively— as he opened the classroom door.</p><p>"No problem, Shepard," Jacob replied as he entered his class.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"Late! You're late! If this continues, it could become— problematic," Professor Solus scolded as he pointed to an empty desk. "Take a seat. Today's lesson is underway."</p><p>Shepard took his seat, relieved that he hadn't gotten into trouble.</p><p>"Yo, Loco— I took notes so you wouldn't fall behind," James assured him with a smile.</p><p>"Thanks, James. I appreciate it," Shepard whispered as he took out his notebook and began to take notes. </p><p>Halfway through the rest of his classes, Shepard gave up trying to concentrate on his work— the image of Kaidan and Rahna refusing to leave his mind.</p><p>
  <strong>Final class of the day—</strong>
</p><p>'I can't believe this shit! It's only been a few weeks. Did he really just forget about me? Am I really that forgettable?'</p><p><em> 'He's just confused. We see this kinda shit all the time. Give him time to make up his mind. And if he still chooses that girl– then fuck him! It's his loss,' </em>the voice said with a sympathetic tone.</p><p>"I wish the goddamn bell would ring," Shepard mumbled aloud, causing his teacher to take notice.</p><p>"Is something wrong, Shepard?" The young red-haired woman asked, her green eyes shining curiously.</p><p>"No, Miss. Chambers," Shepard replied softly.</p><p>In that second, the final bell rang, signalling the end of a very long day for the young blonde.</p><p>"Shepard, may I speak with you for a moment?" Miss. Chambers requested as Shepard quietly made his way to her desk.</p><p>"You wanted to see me," Shepard said anxiously, eager to be on his way.</p><p>"I had a lovely talk with your mother today at lunch, and we think we have the perfect tutor for you," Miss. Chambers informed him with a smile. "Your mother can tell you all about it. I feel really good about the plan we've created for you. Remember to read the next chapter for tomorrow. I know you can be forgetful at times. You can go now. Good luck at tryouts," Miss. Chambers said with a wink as she turned her attention to the stack of papers on her desk.</p><p>"Thanks," Shepard mumbled as he made his way to his locker.</p><p>"Does my Mom just tell everybody she sees all about what's going on in my goddamn life?" Shepard asked aloud, slightly pissed at his mother's casual talk.</p><p><em> 'I don't think she means to upset you, but I can see why you'd be pissed,' </em>the voice admitted.</p><p>"I <b>know </b>she doesn't mean anything by it. But it makes me anxious when my teachers know shit about me," Shepard vented as he closed his locker, making his way down the hall, moving towards the parking lot.</p><p>"John! Sweetheart, you forgot your gear," Kahlee called out as she held his hockey bag out for him to see.</p><p>"Thanks, Mom," Shepard said as he retrieved the bag.</p><p>"Want me to take your pack home with me?" Kahlee offered, knowing how troublesome it would be for her son to carry both.</p><p>"Sure," Shepard agreed as he quickly collected his phone and MP3 player from the pack before handing it to his mother.</p><p>"Good luck, baby," Kahlee said as she kissed her son's cheek.</p><p>"Thanks, Mom. Love you, yeah," Shepard said as he made his way to the parking lot.</p><p>"Love you too!" Kahlee called out just as Shepard exited the building.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"Shepard! Would you like to ride with us?" Rahna called out from the passenger's side of Kaidan's car.</p><p>"No. I got a ride already. Thanks anyway," Shepard replied back as he quickly made his way over to Garrus's car.</p><p><em> 'Can you believe the set of stones on Kaidan?' </em>The voice asked in amusement. </p><p>"Kaidan wasn't the one that offered a ride— it was Rahna, remember? Besides, I ain't mad at Kaidan," Shepard insisted aloud.</p><p><em> 'If you ain't mad, then why the fuck are you avoiding him?' </em>The voice asked curiously.</p><p>"Because— fuck you, that's why," Shepard called out in frustration as he approached the trunk of Garrus's car.</p><p>"What did I do?" Garrus asked with a chuckle.</p><p>"Sorry, Garrus," Shepard grinned, "I was talking to myself. Ignore me, eh."</p><p>"If you say so. About Kaidan— I'm sorry things happened the way they did. I thought for sure he and Rahna were over for good," Garrus said sympathetically— as he slapped his friend lightly on the back.</p><p>Shepard shrugged. "It is what it is. He was just curious. It's over now. That kinda shit happens. It's ain't a big deal. I ain't good with relationships anyway. It's probably for the best," Shepard insisted as he placed his gear in the back.</p><p>"I guess," Garrus said with a sigh as he took his place in the driver's seat.</p><p>"You can ride shotgun if you want," Shepard told James as he opened the back-seat of the car.</p><p>"Seriously? That's new. You fucking hate the back-seat," James said with a suspicious look on his face.</p><p>"I'm gonna stretch out a bit," Shepard informed his friend as they both took their respective seats.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>It only took them twenty minutes to arrive at the rink where the tryouts were being held—</p><p>"You ready for this, Shepard?" Garrus asked with a grin.</p><p>"Always," Shepard assured him with a smile. "Let's go get geared up."</p><p>Once they were dressed, the three boys made their way to the ice.</p><p>"The name's Zaeed Massani, and I'll be your goddamn coach for the season— if you make the team, that is." </p><p>Zaeed was an intimidating man with a British accent and a large scar on the right side of his face, surrounding his eye— causing his damaged right eye to appear whitish-blue, while his left, unscathed eye appeared dark-green in colour.</p><p>Noticing one of the younger players staring, Zaeed immediately spoke— </p><p>"If you're staring at the scar— get used to it. Take a goddamn picture if you have to, but get it out of your system. This is what the blade of a goddamn skate can do when things go south," Zaeed explained in annoyance. "So— get the hell over it— because this could be you one day, pretty boy. Speaking of pretty boys— you must be Shepard. I've heard good things about you. I guess we'll find out if they were telling the truth or not." </p><p>"Oh, I <b>know</b> how to play hockey," Shepard insisted as he rolled his shoulders in anticipation.</p><p>"Confidence. I like that," Zaeed said, nodding in approval as he officially began the tryouts.</p><p>He had the boys play a small scrimmage game, wanting to see firsthand how they handled themselves under the pressure of a game—</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"Oh, wow! Your friend is really very good— isn't he, Kaidan," Rahna commented with wide eyes.</p><p>"Yeah, he's— uh— he's something else," Kaidan said with a melancholic tone that made Rahna feel uneasy. </p><p>"Did something happen between you? Did you two have a fight," Rahna asked curiously.</p><p>"Something like that," Kaidan admitted truthfully.</p><p>"Aw, that's too bad. I could tell by the way you talked about him that he was a good friend to you," Rahna said sympathetically.</p><p>"Yeah. He was. I hope he still is— but things are complicated right now. But, it'll work itself out— somehow," Kaidan reassured his girlfriend.</p><p>"I hope so. He seems to be a lonely sort of person. I think he needs all the friends he can get," Rahna said as she continued to watch the game.</p><p>"A lonely sort, huh," Kaidan repeated as he furrowed his brow in contemplation.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"Number seven's a demon out there. You'd be crazy not to pick him," a distinctly female voice called out, causing Zaeed to look her way.</p><p>"It's about goddamn time you got here. School ended over an hour ago. You sure took your sweet-arse time getting here," Zaeed scolded his foster daughter, causing her to roll her warm brown eyes in annoyance.</p><p>"Whatever, Pops. I stopped for a bite to eat. I picked you up something while I was at it— not that you deserve it," his foster daughter said with a smug grin as she handed him the bag of food.</p><p>"That's okay then," Zaeed said with a grin as he called the players to stand before him.</p><p>"Jack!" Shepard called out as he picked the young girl up and hugged her tight, causing Zaeed to cock his brow in amusement. </p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"Is that Shepard's girlfriend," Rahna asked curiously— as she continued to watch the two teens.</p><p>"No. Shepard doesn't have a girlfriend," Kaidan replied in a harsher tone than necessary.</p><p> 'Who the hell is that girl!? Get a grip, Kaidan! Shepard's gay, remember!' Kaidan reminded himself, trying, unsuccessfully, to curb the jealousy bubbling up within him.</p><p>"Oh. They just seem so close that I just assumed they were dating," Rahna explained.</p><p>"Well, they aren't. She's not his type," Kaidan stated firmly, causing Rahna to raise her brow at her distraught boyfriend.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"What the hell are you doing here!? You first!" They said in unison, making them both break out into laughter.</p><p>"Shepard! You look good! I was worried about you. I heard some shit after— well, you know. I thought you were really sick. I'm glad to see the rumour was mostly false," Jack said with a grin.</p><p>"Yeah, I'm okay. What are you doing here?" Shepard asked curiously.</p><p>"Zaeed's my foster dad. I've been with him for about two years now. I was gonna tell you, but things weren't going the best for you— I didn't want to upset you," Jack explained with a shrug.</p><p>"You could have told me, Jack," Shepard grinned as he shook his head at his beloved friend.</p><p>"I hate to interrupt this touching little reunion, but we really need to get on with the goddamn tryouts." Zaeed insisted, amused by his daughter's behaviour.</p><p>"Yeah, yeah, old man," Jack complained as she rolled her eyes at her father. "We'll talk later, Shepard."</p><p>"Definitely," Shepard agreed as he took his place in line.</p><p>"I'm going to be perfectly honest— some of you show great potential, others— not so much— in fact, a goddamn trained monkey could skate better than some of you. I'll make my decisions and post the results online tomorrow. Those of you that make the team will be expected to show up at practice on time. The captain and alternate captain will be selected then," Zaeed explained. "Now, go hit the goddamn showers. You fucking stink!"</p><p>The boys all laughed as they made their way to the locker room.</p><p>"You did great out there, James," Shepard praised as he began to collect his things for the shower.</p><p>"Gracias, Loco," James said with a grin.</p><p>"We all know Shepard's a shoo-in," Garrus said with a grin.</p><p>"Yeah, he's a shoo-in, alright! The coach's daughter has a crush on him— of course, he's in," Jake said with an amused laugh.</p><p>"Fuck you! I earn everything I get," Shepard growled as he made his way to the showers.</p><p>"Sure, you do," Jake whispered under his breath as he rolled his eyes. "It's gonna suck having him on the team."</p><p>"Well, you better get used to it— because without him— we ain't shit," James informed the young man as he headed to the showers with Garrus following close behind.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>Once the boys were clean and fully clothed, they made their way out to Garrus's car.</p><p>"Shepard, wait up," Jack called out as she ran towards her friend. "Here's my number. Call me tonight, and we'll catch up."</p><p>"Will do," Shepard promised with a wink.</p><p>"I need another one of your shirts, fucker," Jack teased as she punched Shepard's arm playfully.</p><p>Shepard couldn't help but laugh at his wild friend. "Here," Shepard said as he quickly took his shirt off, handing it to Jack.</p><p>"Hell, yes!" Jack said as she inhaled the scent. "Same sweet smell. Thanks, Shepard. Talk to you soon. Later, Muscles," Jack teased as she winked at James before returning to the rink.</p><p>"Muscles?" Garrus asked, cocking a brow as he spoke. "Did she just flirt with you, Jimmy?"</p><p>"What can I say? When you got it, you got it," James smirked as he took his seat on the passenger's side.</p><p>"Uh-huh," Garrus said in amusement. "I guess it's time to go. You ready, Shepard?"</p><p>"Yep." Shepard agreed as he got into the back-seat, eager to get home and call his friend.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"See ya tomorrow, Shepard," Garrus called out as he pulled out of the driveway.</p><p>"Later," Shepard called back with a wave before heading into the house.</p><p>"Hey, Son," Anderson greeted his son, totally ignoring the fact that Shepard was shirtless, "How did it go? Did you make the team?"</p><p>"Everything went well enough. I won't know if I made the team until tomorrow," Shepard explained as he headed towards his bedroom. "I'm gonna go call my friend. Can you come, remind me about my homework in an hour or so?"</p><p>"Sure," Anderson agreed with a nod.</p><p>"Thanks, Daddy," Shepard grinned as he entered his bedroom door, closing it behind him.</p><p>Shepard made himself comfortable on the bed before calling his friend—</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"Hey, Jack," Shepard greeted his friend as he turned on his stereo. "What's been going on with you?"</p><p>"Nothing really new on my end. My dad's cool as fuck. He even gives me cash for tats. Other than that, my life hasn't changed much," Jack explained, "I'm less angry and shit. I haven't been hospitalized since I got placed with Zaeed. He nags me about taking my meds, but I love the hell outta him for it. He helps keep my bipolar ass in check."</p><p>"That's good," Shepard agreed with a nod.</p><p>"How about you? You like being somebody's kid?" Jack asked casually.</p><p>"I guess. It's different— but in a good way. I'm a big brother now too. I like it. I love my new family. I just feel sorry for them— having to deal with my crazy-ass. It ain't easy on 'em," Shepard admitted with a chuckle.</p><p>"Are things really that bad? When was the last time you were hospitalized for your mental shit?" Jack asked curiously.</p><p>"Um— maybe a month or so ago," Shepard replied, struggling to remember the date. "It was just before school started. I fucking suck at remembering dates."</p><p>"Shit. I was hoping things were getting easier for you on that front," Jack said sympathetically.</p><p>"It <b>is</b> better. Trust me— I feel a lot better than I used to. Things were going great— then I lost Aaron. After that, everything went to shit. Then, just when everything was starting to turn around, I got hit by a goddamn car. It fucked up my brain some more, so yeah— my luck ain't the best," Shepard admitted.</p><p>"You still have seizures?" </p><p>"Yep. I'm probably stuck with 'em. I had a really bad one not too long ago. It was caused by a bleed," Shepard explained, "Hopefully, I won't have no more of the big ones. They fucked me up good."</p><p>"How the hell are you allowed to play hockey?" Jack asked, cocking her brow in confusion.</p><p>"I ain't had a seizure in three months. As long as my meds work, I'm gold," Shepard explained.</p><p>"Oh, so it's a time thing," Jack replied in understanding.</p><p>"Pretty much," Shepard admitted with a chuckle. "You seeing anybody, Jack?"</p><p>"Nah. I was fucking around with an older guy, but it got boring," Jack said honestly. "What about you? Did you finally hook up with that Kaidan guy?"</p><p>"I sucked his dick," Shepard admitted with a bitter laugh. "But he's back with his girlfriend now, so apparently, I ain't what he wants."</p><p>"Hn. A closet case, huh," Jack said with a slight hint of annoyance.</p><p>"Maybe," Shepard said with a shrug. "Don't tell nobody about me sucking his dick. I don't want to out him or nothin'."</p><p>"Yeah, I won't tell," Jack promised. "So, what's the deal with Muscles?"</p><p>"Muscles?" </p><p>"Yeah, Muscles," Jack repeated the word. "You know, the big guy— the goalie with all the muscles— does he have a girlfriend?"</p><p>"Why? Are you interested in James? If you are, I'll see what I can do, " Shepard offered.</p><p>"Nah, I'll let you know when I want you to help. I think I'll just flirt for a while first," Jack said with a laugh.</p><p>"Why haven't I seen you in school?" Shepard asked curiously.</p><p>"I don't go to public school. I do the online program. It's easier for me. I help my dad with the hockey stuff, so it's just easier for both of us," Jack explained.</p><p>"Yeah, my parents think I've been homeschooled enough and insist I finish my senior year at a real school," Shepard said with a disappointed tone. "I hate it, though. I ain't used to being around so many people. It's unnerving."</p><p>"You'll be fine," Jack assured him. "Well, I gotta go help Pops with dinner. I'll talk to you later. By the way, I won't out you to the team. So, don't worry about that, eh."</p><p>"Thanks. I appreciate it," Shepard said with a fond smile. "Love you, Jack."</p><p>"Love you too," Jack said as she finally ended the call.</p><p>"Son, it's time for you to do your homework," Anderson called out from behind the bedroom door.</p><p>"Thanks, Daddy," Shepard gratefully replied as he opened his English book.</p><p>
  <b>BUZZ— BUZZ— BUZZ—</b>
</p><p>"I wonder who that could be," Shepard asked aloud as he checked his messages. "Kaidan?"</p><p>– <b>Kaidan:  </b>"I know you might not want to talk to me, but I had to let you know that you were great at the tryouts. I'm proud of you!" –</p><p>Shepard couldn't help but smile at the text.</p><p><em> 'You ain't gonna text him back, are you?' </em>The voice asked in annoyance.</p><p>"Yep. I'm texting him back," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p><p><em> 'You are a glutton for punishment! You know that, don't you? He has a fucking GIRLFRIEND— for fuck's sake!' </em>The voice reminded the blue-eyed blonde.</p><p>"I know that— and, I don't give a fuck! He texted first. I ain't gonna ignore him," Shepard explained as he texted his friend back.</p><p>–<b> Shepard:  </b>"Thanks. I'm glad you watched the tryouts. It makes me happy. I'm glad you're talking to me. I missed you." –</p><p>– <b>Kaidan:</b>  "I miss you too. I think about you a lot, and I want you to know— I don't regret that day. I'm just not ready to deal with all the feelings that came with it. I hope you understand what I'm trying to say." –</p><p>"He thinks about me," Shepard smiled as he continued to text the amber-eyed teen.</p><p>– <b>Shepard:  </b>"I think about you too— all the time. I'm glad it's a good memory for you. I was so afraid it was gonna be something you wished hadn't happened. I still remember the feel of you in my hand and my mouth. I can still feel your pulse on my tongue. I just wish it hadn't been the end for what we might have been. I ain't no good at words, and I just know I'm gonna fuck up and scare you away— but, I miss you, baby— so goddamn much! And if we can't be nothing more than friends, I'll understand. But, please— don't ever stop talking to me." –</p><p>Once Shepard hit send, he immediately regretted the action—</p><p>Fifteen minutes passed, and Shepard just knew he had scared the whisky-eyed teen away— perhaps for good this time.</p><p>"Well, I just scared him off— AGAIN! I'm so fucking stupid!" Shepard growled at himself as he waited nervously for a reply.</p><p>Shepard could feel the tears beginning to sting his eyes as he placed his right arm over his eyes. "Goddammit! I'm gonna start fucking bawling again. I'm such a fucking pussy," Shepard whispered as a tear ran down his face.</p><p><em> 'Don't cry, Shepard. I know things have been rough lately, and I know how lonely and rejected you must feel, but there ain't nothing you can do about shit like this,' </em>the voice insisted.</p><p>"I know that, but—"</p><p>
  <b>BUZZ— BUZZ— BUZZ—</b>
</p><p>Shepard immediately checked his messages—</p><p>– <b>Kaidan: </b>  "The things you say— it makes me want you more than I should, and it scares the hell out of me. I don't know what to say. I have to admit— I think of you every night. I lie in bed thinking of you— thinking of that day. Those thoughts always lead to me touching myself, wishing it was your hand instead of mine— I wish I understood this hold you seem to have on me— this overwhelming feeling of longing I get whenever I see your face or hear your voice— but I don't, and it's maddening. It's like you're a supernatural force of nature — half-angel/half-demon— impossible to resist. I can't promise you anything more than friendship, but I <b>would</b> like to become closer to you— if you'll allow it." –</p><p>– <b>Shepard: </b> "I'd like that, Kaidan. I really would. Just let me know what you want. I'll do anything for you, K." –</p><p>– <b>Kaidan:  </b>"I'll talk to you soon. I promise. Just, please, give me some time to think. Goodnight, Shepard. I hope you sleep peacefully." –</p><p>– <b>Shepard:  </b>"Goodnight, baby." –</p><p><em> 'God, I hope you're not setting yourself up for more heartache,' </em> the voice warned, <em> 'I mean, Rahna's STILL his girlfriend, and he ain't said jack about her. Don't let him have his cake and eat it too!'  </em></p><p>"I know what you're saying, but when it comes to Kaidan— I'm a weak motherfucker," Shepard admitted with a grin as he went back to trying to concentrate on his homework. "I can't wait to hear from him again."</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next Chapter:  Shepard finds out whether or not he made the team—</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Oh, Captain! My Captain!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Shepard learns whether or not he made the team—</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Shepard woke early, feeling hopeful for the first time in weeks, as he quickly made his way to the kitchen.</p><p>"Good morning," Shepard called out with a lopsided grin as he took a seat at the table. </p><p>"Good morning, sweetheart," Kahlee greeted with a smile as she handed him a plate of scrambled eggs. "I take it you slept well."</p><p>"Yep," the blue-eyed teen replied with a nod.</p><p>"You're awfully cheerful this morning," Anderson teased his son playfully, "I take it you made the team?"</p><p>"Um— I dunno yet," Shepard admitted with a shrug, "The results haven't been posted yet. I'm refreshing the hell outta the page, though."</p><p>"You'll make the team. I have faith in you," Anderson assured his son with a confident grin.</p><p>"Thanks, Dad," Shepard said as he continued to eat his breakfast.</p><p>"I've arranged for a Language Arts tutor for you," Kahlee informed her son as she poured Hailey a glass of milk.</p><p>"When do they start?" Shepard asked anxiously.</p><p>"No need to be anxious, John," Kahlee insisted with an amused smile, "I'm 100% certain you'll get along just fine."</p><p>"Are you gonna tell me who it is?" Shepard asked curiously.</p><p>"No. You'll see, soon enough. They'll be starting this Friday," Kahlee explained, "They're even willing to work around your hockey schedule."</p><p>"I don't even know if I'll make the team or not," Shepard reminded his mother.</p><p>"You'll make it," Hailey insisted as she finished off her milk.</p><p>"Yeah," Shepard said, amused by his little sister.</p><p>"Yeah," Hailey repeated with a nod.</p><p>"I have to agree with Hailey on this one— you are definitely making the team," Kahlee said with a wink.</p><p>"Well, I gotta get going. Love you guys," Shepard called out as he grabbed his pack and quickly exited the house.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"Good morning, Shepard," Rahna called from the passenger's side of her boyfriend's car, "Would you like to ride with us?"</p><p><em> 'Are you seriously considering this?' </em>The voice asked in irritation.</p><p>"Sure." Shepard grinned as he made his way to the backseat of the car. "Thanks for the offer," Shepard said with a nod as he made himself comfortable in the backseat.</p><p>"It's no problem. Any friend of Kaidan's is a friend of mine," Rahna assured the blue-eyed teen with a warm smile.</p><p>"'Mornin', Kaidan," Shepard said with that sideways grin that always melted Kaidan's heart.</p><p>"Uh, good morning," Kaidan said, his eyes intense in the rear-view mirror as he stared directly into Shepard's sapphire-blue eyes. "You slept well, I hope."</p><p>"Yep— best I've slept in a while actually," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p><p>"So, did you make the hockey team?" Rahna asked, obviously excited to hear the news.</p><p>"Um— I dunno. He hasn't posted the results yet," Shepard replied with a shrug. "Are you a hockey fan, Rahna?</p><p>"Oh, very much so. I like going to the games at Rogers Arena with my father. I'm more of a casual fan, though," Rahna explained, "I do know enough to realize how extremely talented you are. I look forward to seeing where your career leads."</p><p>"That's very kind of you to say, but people like me— we don't go much further than the junior league," Shepard replied honestly.</p><p>"What do you mean— people like you?" Rahna asked, confused by the young blonde's comment.</p><p>"I ain't from the West Side. I never went to hockey camp or played for any organized teams. I just don't fit the mold of what they look for in a successful prospect," Shepard admitted with a shrug.</p><p>"I see. That seems like such a waste, though," Rahna said sadly.</p><p>"It really would be a waste. He's phenomenal on the ice— that should be enough. The system is obviously flawed when a guy like Shepard isn't even considered," Kaidan agreed with a disgusted frown on his face.</p><p>Shepard smiled in appreciation for Kaidan's words but remained silent.</p><p>"You said you weren't from the West Side. Where exactly are you from?" Rahna asked casually.</p><p>"Um— the DTES," Shepard replied simply.</p><p>"Oh, my! That must have been an awful place to grow up. I'm sorry for you," Rahna said with a sympathetic tone.</p><p>Shepard's brow furrowed in annoyance. "You don't gotta be sorry for me. I do just fine. The DTES ain't so bad. In fact, I prefer it," Shepard replied in a defensive tone.</p><p>"She didn't mean anything by it, Shepard," Kaidan assured the blue-eyed beauty. "It's just her way of saying she wished things had been easier for you."</p><p>"Uh-huh," Shepard said skeptically.</p><p>"I'm sorry if I offended you," Rahna apologized sincerely.</p><p>"It's fine," Shepard shrugged as he turned his gaze to the window.</p><p>"When did your parents move to the West Side?" Rahna asked, trying to make conversation.</p><p>"What?" Shepard asked in a confused tone.</p><p>"Your parents— they live on the West Side now, don't they," Rahna asked curiously.</p><p>"Er— I guess. We ain't far from the East Side, though," Shepard explained.</p><p>"You don't remember when your parents moved there?" Rahna asked in confusion.</p><p>"I ain't been living with them long. It's only been about a year," Shepard answered truthfully.</p><p>"I—I don't understand," Rahna admitted.</p><p>"You didn't tell her?" Shepard asked Kaidan, raising his brow as he spoke.</p><p>"I didn't think it was important," Kaidan shrugged as he continued to focus on the road.</p><p>"What wasn't important? I am totally lost," Rahna chuckled.</p><p>"I'm a foster kid. I wasn't a part of the family until about a year ago," Shepard explained simply.</p><p>"So, they didn't raise you," Rahna said in understanding. "Did you live with your biological parents until then?"</p><p>"No," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p><p>"Why? What happened to them?"</p><p>"Rahna, I don't think—" Kaidan's words were cut short by Shepard's voice.</p><p>"It's okay, Kaidan," Shepard assured his friend, "I don't mind. I ain't got no parents— never did. I was a safe-haven baby."</p><p>"That's so sad. Why weren't you adopted? You must have been an adorable baby. You're quite handsome, after all." Rahna smiled— brightly— as she spoke.</p><p>"Rahna, I really don't think you should ask so many questions," Kaidan anxiously suggested.</p><p>"I just want to get to know your friend. Is that so bad?" Rahna asked with a slight pout.</p><p>"It's fine. Really, Kaidan, I'm fine with it," Shepard assured his anxious friend. "Rahna, the truth is, I ain't sure why. I guess nobody wanted me. It don't bother me no more. I'm over it."</p><p>"I didn't mean to— I'm so sorry," Rahna apologized.</p><p>"It's cool— like I said, it don't bother me no more," Shepard admitted truthfully. "So, Rahna, where are you from? I mean, what neighbourhood?"</p><p>"Shaughnessy— Kaidan lives there as well. Did you not know that?" Rahna asked, cocking her head to the side.</p><p>"Yeah. I dropped him off there once," Shepard said, chancing a glance at the whisky-eyed teen.</p><p>"Really? Did you like it there?" The brunette girl asked curiously.</p><p>"Honestly, I didn't really pay much attention. I just dropped K off and went straight home," Shepard explained with a shrug.</p><p>"K? I didn't know you had a nickname, Kaidan," Rahna said with an amused grin.</p><p>"I don't. Shepard just calls me that sometimes," Kaidan admitted.</p><p>"I think it's cute. Can I call you 'K'?" Rahna asked teasingly, making both Kaidan and Shepard go tense.</p><p><em> 'No, you clueless bitch! You can't call him 'K'! I mean, seriously, that's our pet-name,' </em>the voice fumed, and Shepard agreed with every word.</p><p>"No," Kaidan replied with a frown, causing Rahna's teasing smile to fade.</p><p>Shepard couldn't help but smirk at Kaidan's reply.</p><p>The car became uncomfortably silent, and Shepard began to fidget nervously.</p><p>'I shouldn't be here,' Shepard thought to himself.</p><p><em> 'Yeah. I told you not to accept the ride, but did you listen— no,' </em>the voice scolded.</p><p>"Shut the fuck up," Shepard growled aloud.</p><p>"Excuse me," Rahna said, feeling a little insulted by the blue-eyed blonde's sudden outburst.</p><p>"Huh?" Shepard replied in confusion.</p><p>"He wasn't talking to you, Rahna," Kaidan assured his girlfriend as he turned into the school parking lot.</p><p>"Then— who was he talking to?" Rahna asked in annoyance.</p><p>"Myself," Shepard answered truthfully.</p><p>"I see," Rahna said – skeptically – as Kaidan parked the car.</p><p>"Well, we're here," Kaidan announced as he unfastened his seat belt.</p><p>"Yeah. I'm gonna go find Garrus. Thanks for the ride, K. I appreciate it," Shepard said as he anxiously exited the vehicle.</p><p>"Anytime," Kaidan called out, causing Shepard to turn around.</p><p>Shepard smiled that crooked smile that Kaidan adored before giving him a quick wink.</p><p>The wink wasn't lost on Rahna, her delicate brow arching in suspicion of the two boys.</p><p>"He really likes you, huh," Rahna surmised as she took her boyfriend's hand.</p><p>"I guess. He can be a pretty warm guy when you get to know him," Kaidan explained as he walked with Rahna.</p><p>"I'll bet," Rahna commented under her breath as they made their way inside the building.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>The day went by fairly quickly, and it wasn't long before Shepard found himself eating lunch with the usual suspects.</p><p>"Coach Massani finally updated the roster," Garrus informed his fellow players.</p><p>"Really!?" James said as he frantically searched the page.</p><p>"Well— did you make it?" Garrus asked, excited to see the look on his friend's face.</p><p>"Hell yeah! I'm in," James exclaimed, pumping his fist in celebration.</p><p>"Congratulations," Tali and Liara said in unison before turning their attention to Garrus and Shepard, "Well?"</p><p>"You know I'm in," Garrus bragged as Tali gave him a congratulatory kiss.</p><p>"Shepard," Liara asked as she watched the blonde teen nervously.</p><p>"Hn. I guess I'm in," Shepard replied as he continued to stare at his phone.</p><p>"Oh, come on! You can't be surprised," Kaidan called out, causing Shepard to look up from his phone.</p><p>Shepard couldn't help but smile— there stood Kaidan with the biggest grin Shepard had ever seen plastered on his face.</p><p>"I dunno— It still feels like I'm dreaming," Shepard admitted as Kaidan took his seat along with Rahna.</p><p>"Congratulations, Shepard. I'm sure you'll do well," Rahna said with a smile.</p><p>"Thanks," Shepard said with a nod.</p><p>"Did you remember to bring your gear— practice is right after school," Garrus reminded his blue-eyed friend.</p><p>"Goddammit," Shepard groaned as he hit the side of his head repeatedly, "I'm so fucking stupid!"</p><p>"Hey, don't do that," Kaidan spoke softly as he gently took Shepard's hand, effectively stopping the young blonde from striking himself. "Everything's going to be fine. I can take you to pick up your gear if you need me to. It's not a problem."</p><p>"Thanks, but I'll take care of it," Shepard insisted with a halfhearted smile. "I should go find my mom and tell her I fucked up. I'll see you guys later."</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>
  <b>KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK—</b>
</p><p>"Come in," Kahlee said as she sat her lunch aside.</p><p>"Mom, are you busy?" Shepard asked nervously.</p><p>"No, sweetheart. Is everything alright? Are you feeling okay?" Kahlee asked anxiously.</p><p>"I'm fine. I just— I made the team," Shepard said with a shrug.</p><p>"That's great news! Why aren't you more excited?" Kahlee asked curiously.</p><p>"Because I fucked up. I forgot to bring my hockey bag. I ain't got my gear and practice is right after school," Shepard explained anxiously, "I won't have time to go get it. If I show up without it, the coach is gonna be beyond pissed."</p><p>"I'll go pick it up for you," Kahlee promised, "So, don't worry. I'll leave now."</p><p>"Thanks, Mom. My bag's in the closet on the middle shelf," Shepard explained in relief.</p><p>"No problem, baby," Kahlee chuckled as she kissed her son on the cheek. "Go on to class and try not to worry so much. Everything will be fine."</p><p>"Okay, I'll try. Love you, Mom," Shepard said with a smile as he turned to leave.</p><p>"I love you too, John," Kahlee smiled back as she watched her son exit the room.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"Is everything good, Loco?" James asked as Shepard returned to his friends.</p><p>"Yeah. My mom's gonna go pick up my gear for me," Shepard assured his friend.</p><p>"Thank god," Garrus said with a look of relief on his face.</p><p>"That's very generous of her. You're very lucky to have her," Rahna said in an accusing tone, making Shepard cock his brow at the girl.</p><p>"Uh— yeah. My mom's great," Shepard agreed, confused by the brunette girl's venom.</p><p>Kaidan stared at his girlfriend, wondering what had gotten into her when the bell rang, signalling the end of lunch.</p><p>Kaidan grabbed Shepard's arm and softly whispered into the blue-eyed blonde's ear, "I'm sorry for the comment Rahna made. She didn't mean anything by it."</p><p>"It's not your fault, baby," Shepard whispered back, quickly licking the shell of Kaidan's ear, causing the whisky-eyed teen to shiver.</p><p>"You are as bold as brass," Kaidan whispered, swallowing hard as Shepard laughed warmly.</p><p>"Later, K," Shepard grinned with a wink as he walked away from his slightly amused friend.</p><p>"That boy is very strange," Rahna said with a pout as she took Kaidan's hand— squeezing it tight as she watched Shepard disappear from view.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The Anderson household—</b>
</p><p>"Now, where did he say— Ah, the closet— middle shelf," Kahlee reminded herself as she quickly made her way to her son's room.</p><p>"There you are," Kahkee grinned as she carefully took the bag from the shelf, accidentally knocking over a small box. "What the hell?"</p><p>Kahlee looked at the spilled contents carefully— a look of concerned shock on her face.</p><p>"Is that pot? What's in these little bottles? Please don't be drugs, please don't be drugs," Kahlee chanted over and over as she rattled one of the small bottles, "It's empty. I need to talk to David about this."</p><p>Kahlee carefully replaced the contents of the small box and placed it back upon the shelf.</p><p>"John is going to have some major explaining to do," Kahlee insisted as she collected her son's gear and made her way back to campus.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>The rest of the day passed quickly, and soon the final bell rang out, signalling the end of the school day.</p><p>"We'll be waiting outside. We don't want to be late the first day on the job— so, be quick, eh," Garrus teased as Shepard made his way to his mother's office.</p><p>"Hey, Mom. Did you get my gear?" Shepard asked with a broad smile.</p><p>"Y—yeah. I got it. Here you are," Kahlee said as she handed her son the hockey bag. "We need to talk after practice."</p><p>"Huh? About what?" Shepard asked anxiously. "I ain't in trouble in any of my classes, am I? I ain't fallin' behind?"</p><p>"No, it doesn't have anything to do with school," Kahlee assured her son, "Just concentrate on your practice, and we can talk later."</p><p>"O—okay," Shepard nodded, furrowing his brow in worry. "I ain't sick again, am I," Shepard asked nervously, tears beginning to form in his too-blue eyes.</p><p>"No, sweetheart," Kahlee promised, "It's just something that your father and I need to talk to you about."</p><p>"Alright," Shepard softly whispered. "I love you, Mom."</p><p>"I love you too, baby," Kahlee replied with a smile. "John, you would tell me if something was wrong, wouldn't you. You wouldn't keep it inside."</p><p>"Huh? I don't understand what you're getting at," Shepard admitted, becoming increasingly more anxious by his mother's odd behaviour.</p><p>"It's nothing. Forget I said anything," Kahlee insisted. "Good luck at practice— Have fun, baby."</p><p>"I—I will," Shepard nodded as he made his way to the parking lot.</p><p><em>'That was goddamn weird,' </em>the voice admitted.</p><p>"It really was. I wonder what's up with her," Shepard spoke aloud as he made it to Garrus's car.</p><p>"You look troubled by something," Garrus noticed as he helped Shepard put his gear in the back. </p><p>"My mom's acting funny. She said that she and Daddy needed to talk to me later— but she won't tell me what about, " Shepard explained, "It's fucking weird."</p><p>"Hmm— Well, try not to think about it. You have other things to worry about. First practices are always filled with drama," Garrus informed his friend with a grin as he slapped Shepard on the back.</p><p>"Yo, it's time to get movin', Scars," James announced from the backseat of the car.</p><p>"Yeah, yeah. We're on our way, Jimmy," Garrus assured his anxious friend as both he and Shepard took their places.</p><p>"Practice or bust," James joked as Garrus pulled out of the school parking lot— heading towards their destination—</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>After an extremely physical practice, the players were ordered to line up and stand before Coach Massani—</p><p>"Not bad. It could be better, but— all-in-all— not bad," Zaeed said in mild approval. "Now's the time to announce the leader of our little group— along with his right-hand man. Now, some of you may be a bit disappointed with my decision— Well, too goddamn bad. When you become head coach, you can choose whoever you like, but as long as I'm in charge, what I say goes. So, this year's Captain will be the player with the best hockey sense, and that player is number 7, John Shepard."</p><p>The second Shepard's name was announced, about half the players groaned in disapproval.</p><p>"Shut the hell up! Stop your whining. You sound like a bunch of goddamn bitches. Shepard is the best of you, and you <b>will</b> show him respect. I don't give a rat's arse whether you like him or not— just do your goddamn job and listen when he speaks. Am I understood?"</p><p>"Yes, Sir," the players said in a whiny tone.</p><p>"I said, AM I GODDAMN UNDERSTOOD!"</p><p>"SIR! YES, SIR," the players agreed as they fell in line.</p><p>"Now, for the Alternate Captain— I don't think this is any surprise to anyone— Garrus Vakarian. You'll be wearing the A this season," Zaeed announced with a grin. "Your uniforms will be available on Monday. You'll each get one home and one away jersey. If you want more, that'll have to come out of your own goddamn pocket. Those of you that still attend school, you'll be dismissed at noon in order to practise and for games and such. Make no mistake— this is a full-time job that requires a full-time commitment. Is that understood?"</p><p>The players all nodded in understanding.</p><p>"Good. Welcome to Junior League hockey, gentlemen. Now, hit the showers," Zaeed said as he dismissed the players from his sight.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"I can't believe Shepard's our Captain! Is that even allowed? I mean, he's totally new. I thought you had to have played for a while before you could even be considered as Captain," Jake complained as he started to remove his gear.</p><p>"Were you not listening? Coach told us why he picked Shepard, and it makes total sense," a young blonde player with light brown eyes spoke up.</p><p>"Seriously, Paul? How does it make total sense?" Jake asked, cocking his head in amusement.</p><p>"Look— love him or hate him, he's the best damn player I've ever seen. His hockey sense is off the charts. We could learn a lot from him, so— it makes perfect sense for him to be Captain."</p><p>"I guess," Jake shrugged. "I still feel like he's gonna be a pain in the ass."</p><p>"Only if you push him. He seems like the type that could end you if he ever snapped. So, I'd lay off, eh," Paul suggested as he closed his locker and headed for the showers.</p><p>Once Shepard was done with his shower, he quickly got dressed— eager to be on his way.</p><p>"Hey, Captain," Jake called out, causing Shepard to roll his eyes in frustration.</p><p>"Yeah," Shepard answered simply.</p><p>"Aren't you gonna give us a speech? You know, tell us what you expect from us and shit."</p><p>"I expect you to work hard— to do your best, and when we're on the ice, I want you to listen when I talk. That's all. Simple." Shepard replied with a shrug as he turned and left the locker room.</p><p>"He sounds so superior," Jake said, rolling his eyes in annoyance. "It makes me want to smack him."</p><p>"All the dude said was for us to work hard and do our best— I don't see how that equates to him acting superior," Paul retorted as he finished getting dressed.</p><p>"He expects us to work our asses off," Jake whined.</p><p>"Well, yeah. In case you haven't noticed— that guy works his ass off on the ice. So, it's only natural for him to expect no less from us," Paul explained, shaking his head in disappointment at his teammate.</p><p>"Maybe," Jake shrugged as he slammed his locker shut.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"Oh, Captain! My Captain," James grinned as he congratulated his friend on his new position.</p><p>"Thanks," Shepard grinned. "I appreciate it. I don't feel like I'm a very popular choice."</p><p>"Ah— fuck 'em," Garrus grinned as he playfully punched Shepard in the arm.</p><p>"Listen to him, Shepard. They'll fall in line, or my dad will make their life a living hell. Zaeed doesn't take any bullshit from anyone," Jack assured her friend as she hugged him tight— kissing him on the cheek. "Congratu-fucking-lations! You deserve it."</p><p>"Thanks, Jack," Shepard said as he hugged her tight.</p><p>"We need to hang out soon, eh," Jack said as she wrapped her arm around his narrow waist.</p><p>"Definitely! How does Saturday sound?" Shepard asked, hoping she would have the time.</p><p>"Sounds good! Are you free Saturday, Muscles? Maybe you could join us," Jack asked as she winked mischievously at James.</p><p>"Uh— S-sure. I'm free," James stuttered— his face turning red in embarrassment.</p><p>"See you then," Jack grinned at James before grabbing Shepard and kissing him hard on the mouth. "Goddamn! I love your mouth."</p><p>Shepard just laughed at his wild friend as he watched her head back towards the building.</p><p>"I'll see you guys on Saturday," Jack called out as she disappeared behind the door.</p><p>"Are you sure you aren't bi?" James asked, cocking a brow at his blue-eyed friend.</p><p>"I'm positive, James. Jack was just playing," Shepard assured him with a grin. "You know she likes you, right?"</p><p>"W—well, of course! I'm a good lookin' guy," James insisted— his face turning an even darker shade of red.</p><p>"Uh-huh," Shepard nodded as he put his gear in the back.</p><p>"So, am I invited to the party Saturday?" Garrus asked with a cheeky grin.</p><p>"Sure. The more, the merrier," Shepard chuckled as they got into the car.</p><p>"You know, your parents are gonna be so proud of you," Garrus grinned.</p><p>"You think so," Shepard asked quietly.</p><p>"For sure," James reassured the anxious blonde.</p><p>"I—I dunno. I hope so," Shepard admitted as he continued to fidget, growing more and more anxious by the second.</p><p>"You okay, Loco?" James asked, noticing Shepard's nervous behaviour.</p><p>"Yeah. I just dread talking with my parents. That's all," Shepard explained.</p><p>"I'm sure it's nothing. You just worry too much," Garrus insisted as he pulled out of the parking lot.</p><p>"I really hope you're right," Shepard whispered as he leaned against the window.</p><p>'I really fucking hope so—'</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next Chapter:  Kaidan makes a bold move—</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. So Close, Yet So Far</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Kaidan becomes bold—</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>***WARNING***<br/>SEXUAL CONTENT</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I'm home," Shepard called out as he entered the side-door.</p><p>"John, honey, we're upstairs. Can you join us, please?" Kahlee called out from the second floor.</p><p>Shepard suddenly became very nervous— his mind going a million miles a minute as he tried to figure out what he had done to warrant a talk.</p><p>"I—I made the team. Coach Massani made me Captain," Shepard announced, hoping to cut through the obvious tension.</p><p>"That's great, Son," Anderson stated proudly, as he hugged his son tight.</p><p>"I'm so proud of you," Kahlee said as she kissed his cheek.</p><p>"Thanks," Shepard said with a smile.</p><p>"We're both very happy for you," Kahlee said as an awkward silence filled the room.</p><p>"What did I do?" Shepard asked with a heavy sigh.</p><p>Anderson remained silent as he sat a small grey box on the reading table. "Your mother found this earlier today when she was retrieving your hockey gear."</p><p>Shepard's sapphire eyes went wide before he furrowed his brow in disappointment. "You looked through my stuff?"</p><p><em> 'Nosy little thing, ain't she?' </em> The voice teased. <em> 'Seriously, though, you might be fucked.' </em></p><p>"No. I swear to you, John, I <b>did not </b>go through your things. The box fell over as I was taking your bag from the shelf," Kahlee explained, hoping her son would understand.</p><p>"Okay," Shepard replied nervously. "And—"</p><p>"And, the lid just happened to fall off. Are you going to tell us how long you've been abusing drugs?" Kahlee asked anxiously.</p><p>"What?" Shepard asked in confusion. "Are you fucking serious, right now?"</p><p>"Kahlee, it's just a little weed. I wouldn't say he's abusing drugs," Anderson said, defending his son from her allegations.</p><p>"David, we don't know how often he uses it. He could very well be abusing it," Kahlee explained.</p><p>"That's true, but shouldn't we ask him before we accuse him of abusing it," Anderson suggested, causing Kahlee to reconsider her stance.</p><p>"That's a fair point," Kahlee admitted as she allowed her fiancé to take over.</p><p>"How often do you smoke, Son?" Anderson asked casually.</p><p>"I dunno— not a lot. I only smoke when my head ain't right or when I'm anxious. It calms me down, eh," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p><p>"That's what I thought," Anderson said with an understanding nod. "We'll have Doctor Smith write you out a prescription. That should take care of everything if it ever shows up in your system during a random drug test."</p><p>"Yeah? You'd do that," Shepard asked in surprise.</p><p>"Of course, I would. You're my son, and if a little weed improves your mental health, then I'm all for it," Anderson admitted with an amused laugh.</p><p>"David! Shouldn't we talk about this?" Kahlee asked in annoyance. </p><p>"Kahlee, baby, he's obviously not abusing it. So, isn't it better he get it from a doctor," Anderson suggested.</p><p>"That's true. The pot isn't what scares me anyway— it's whatever the hell those little black bottles were," Kahlee admitted as she turned her attention towards her son, "Care to tell us what those are?"</p><p><em> 'Oh, this should be good!' </em>The voice laughed in amusement.</p><p>'I knew I should have thrown those old bottles away,' Shepard thought to himself.</p><p>"John! Are you going to answer me?" Kahlee asked, growing increasingly more frustrated with her son.</p><p>"Daddy, can I talk to you in private, please?" Shepard pleaded nervously.</p><p>"No, David! I want to hear his explanation. You're way too lenient with him," Kahlee insisted.</p><p>Anderson sighed as he rubbed his face hard. "Well, Son," Anderson replied sympathetically, "You heard your mother."</p><p>Shepard shook his head slowly. "I'm sorry, but no. I ain't talking to Mom about that. It's you or nothin'."</p><p>"Kahlee, if we want to know what it is, you need to let me talk to him alone," Anderson insisted.</p><p>"That boy is so stubborn! Fine! But you'd better tell me everything. I mean it, David. He's my son too," Kahlee demanded as she finally agreed for her boys to talk alone.</p><p>"Agreed," Anderson promised as he led his son down the hall to the master bedroom.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>Once the door was closed, Anderson turned his attention to his son—</p><p>"Okay, Son, it's just you and me. You can tell me anything, so please, be honest," Anderson pleaded as he directed his son to sit beside him.</p><p>"They're for sex," Shepard stated bluntly, trying to avoid his father's gaze.</p><p>Anderson's eyes grew wide as his brain processed his son's words.  </p><p>"Okay— You're going to have to explain that one," Anderson said, feeling totally out of his element.</p><p>"They're old popper bottles. I've had 'em for a while. Do you know what poppers are, Daddy?" Shepard asked, wanting to be thorough in his explanation. </p><p>"Hn. I know what they are," Anderson admitted, "And I also know they're considered a party drug."</p><p>Shepard couldn't help but roll his eyes. </p><p>"That might be true, but they ain't as bad as you think. In fact, you can buy 'em in any sex shop outside of Canada," Shepard explained.</p><p>"Uh-huh. How did you get them? They're illegal in Canada— you obviously know that," Anderson asked curiously.</p><p>"Yeah. That dumbass law. I ordered 'em," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p><p>"Why did you feel the need to order an illegal substance? I don't understand the reasoning. I mean, if you need to get high to enjoy sex, you probably shouldn't be having it," Anderson stated seriously.</p><p>"You don't understand! You ain't gay. You ain't ever had sex with a guy. I don't <b>need</b> it to enjoy sex. That ain't the reason I bought it," Shepard explained.</p><p>"Then, why?" Anderson asked in confusion.</p><p>"Daddy— I like rough sex sometimes. Poppers help with the discomfort. I only take a few hits. The high only lasts like thirty seconds— if that. And I never use them more than a few times a session. I'm sorry if that's TMI, but you wanted me to tell you the truth. Well— that's the truth," Shepard admitted nervously. </p><p>Anderson's brow furrowed in contemplation. "I understand why you used them, but I don't want you using them anymore," Anderson insisted, "They cause an increase in heart rate, and we both know how rapid your pulse can get."</p><p>Shepard furrowed his brow in confusion. "I don't use it enough for it to hurt me."</p><p>"Shepard, no more— do you hear me? This isn't negotiable," Anderson insisted.</p><p>"Okay," Shepard agreed, "I ain't got no more anyway."</p><p>"Good," Anderson said as he hugged his son tightly. "I don't like the idea of you having risky sex either. I don't want you hurt, Son."</p><p>"Daddy, I ain't made of glass. You don't gotta worry about me— And I don't have risky sex. I know how to be safe, yeah," Shepard said with an amused voice.</p><p>"I know. But, I'm your Daddy— it's my job to worry," Anderson explained as he kissed his son on the forehead. "You're free to go."</p><p>"Thanks," Shepard smiled as he made his way to the door— stopping just before exiting, "Daddy, does it bother you?"</p><p>"Does what bother me?" Anderson asked, confused by his son's question.</p><p>"That I have sex with men— does it bother you— me being gay," Shepard asked nervously, "I ain't never asked."</p><p>"Son, why are you asking me that now?" Anderson asked, trying to understand his son's way of thinking.</p><p>"I just— I don't want you to feel uncomfortable around me. Like, just now, I probably said a lot of stuff that you really didn't wanna hear. I'm sorry if I said anything that grossed you out. I'll try not to talk about stuff like that no more," Shepard explained, his anxiety growing more with each passing minute. "I guess what I'm trying to say is— well, I'm sorry, Daddy."</p><p>Anderson's eyes were filled with sadness for his young son as he slowly made his way towards him.</p><p>"I love you, Son," Anderson insisted as he held his son tight, noticing just how nervous Shepard had become, "You never have to apologize for being yourself. And nothing you ever say to me in confidence would ever gross me out, so if you ever need to talk about sex or anything else— I'm here."</p><p>"Thanks," Shepard whispered as he moved to open the door, "I love you, Daddy."</p><p>"I love you too, Son," Anderson called out with a grin as Kahlee entered the room just as Shepard was leaving.</p><p>"Is everything alright?" Kahlee asked her husband as she watched their son silently until he was out of sight.</p><p>"Yeah. It's taken care of— no more little black bottles," Anderson assured her.</p><p>"That's great, but what were the little black bottles? Did he tell you?" Kahlee asked curiously.</p><p>"Yep— he told me. But I'm not sure you wanna know?" Anderson teased his wife.</p><p>"David, don't tease me! I wanna know what he was taking," Kahlee insisted.</p><p>"It was used for sex— gay sex to be more specific," Anderson explained, laughing when he saw the shocked look on his fiancée's face. "I told you, you didn't wanna know."</p><p>"I don't understand. Where'd he get such a thing?" Kahlee asked curiously.</p><p>"It doesn't matter. He promised he wouldn't use it again. Everything's fine now," Anderson insisted with a wink.</p><p>"Uh-huh," Kahlee replied skeptically, "You two are impossible."</p><p>"Yep," Anderson agreed as he took Kahlee by the hand. "Come on— I'll help with dinner."</p><p>"You will? What a wonderful man I have," Kahlee chuckled as she allowed herself to be led to the kitchen.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>Once Shepard was alone in his room, he immediately texted Ryan to tell him the good news—</p><p>– <b>Shepard:</b>  "Made the team— Coach Massani even made me Captain—" –</p><p>– <b>Ryan:</b>  "That's great, Baby Boy! I'm so proud of you! I can't wait to see you play. We'll celebrate before I leave for Ontario, eh. Love you, Baby Boy!" –</p><p>– <b>Shepard:  </b>"Love you too, Walker!" –</p><p><em> 'So, Ryan has to go back soon, huh,' </em> the voice said in a contemplative voice, <em> 'That's gonna suck. I know how much you're gonna miss him.' </em></p><p>"Yeah— it sucks, but he's got a career now, and a damn good one. I might miss him, but it's totally worth it. I'm proud as hell of him," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p><p><em> 'True enough,' </em>the voice agreed as Shepard's phone began to buzz, causing Shepard to quickly check his texts. </p><p>"It's Kaidan," Shepard grinned as he quickly opened the text.</p><p>– <b>Kaidan:</b>  "How was practise?" –</p><p>– <b>Shepard:</b>  "Things went pretty good. I made Captain." –</p><p>– <b>Kaidan:</b>  "Seriously? That's great! I can't wait to watch you play." –</p><p>– <b>Shepard:</b>  "You can watch me anytime, baby." –</p><p>– <b>Kaidan:</b>  "You really are bold, aren't you? Anyway, I just wanted to see how things went. I'm glad everything went well. I'm proud of you. You deserve it!" –</p><p>"Did he really just text me to see how practise went? I was kinda hoping for more flirting?" Shepard pouted.</p><p>– <b>Shepard:</b>  "Thanks— So, what are you wearing?" –</p><p>– <b>Kaidan:</b>  "Are you flirting with me, Shepard?" –</p><p>– <b>Shepard:</b>  "I'm trying too, but you ain't making it easy, and I ain't no good at it. I usually just say what I like. That don't make casual flirting easy." –</p><p>– <b>Kaidan:</b>  "I see— Out of curiosity, why don't you say what you like, and we'll see where it goes from there." –</p><p>"Kaidan wants to play," Shepard grinned as he started to type.</p><p>– <b>Shepard:</b>  "You asked for it. I want you in front of me. I wanna tear off all your clothes and take my time— devouring every single inch of your olive skin." –</p><p>– <b>Kaidan:</b>  "Keep going—" –</p><p>Shepard couldn't help but chuckle at Kaidan's response.</p><p>– <b>Shepard:</b>  "I would tease you with my tongue until I had you begging for more. And just when you think you couldn't take anymore, I'd take you into my mouth— slowly at first, just enough to keep you on edge. Then, when I had you bucking into my mouth, I'd take you deep into my throat— giving you exactly what you wanted." –</p><p>– <b>Kaidan:</b>  "God, the things you say— I can almost feel your mouth on my sex." –</p><p>– <b>Shepard:</b>  "Are you touching yourself, baby?" –</p><p>– <b>Kaidan:</b>  "Yes." –</p><p>– <b>Shepard:</b>  "That's good. I can feel the sensation of your cock fucking my throat. I taste you on my tongue, and it's pure ecstasy. My cock's dripping— my body's twitching in anticipation of having your beautiful dick deep inside of me. You wanna fuck me— don't you, K?" –</p><p>– <b>Kaidan:</b>  "God, yes! I want to be inside you so bad. I can only imagine the heat. The thought of bending you over— of taking you hard from behind. Fucking you so hard that your body trembles, and you beg me to let you cum." –</p><p>"Goddamn! I never thought he'd actually play along," Shepard admitted as he stroked himself slowly.</p><p><em> 'I'll bet he's a freak in bed. It's always the uptight quiet ones,' </em>the voice snickered.</p><p>"Kaidan ain't uptight, he's just— proper," Shepard said with a shrug.</p><p><em> 'Uh-huh— it's the same damn thing, and you know it,' </em>the voice insisted as Shepard typed his reply.</p><p>– <b>Shepard:</b>  "Baby, you got me so close. I can feel your cock stretching me— it feels so good! I want you to fuck me! Fuck me as hard as you can. Open me up wide, baby. Fucking wreck me." –</p><p><em>'Laying it on a little thick, ain't</em> <em>ya?' </em>The voice asked in amusement. <em>'You better watch what you say. Mr. Proper might think you're a slut and stop texting you.'</em></p><p>"Shut the hell up! I'm trying to cum here," Shepard snapped as he continued to touch himself.</p><p>The voice couldn't help but laugh in pleased amusement.</p><p>– <b>Kaidan:</b>  "I'm so close—" –</p><p>– <b>Shepard:</b>  "You gonna cum, baby? I want it, baby. Fill me up. I wanna feel you hot inside me. I want you to cum so hard that I'm overflowing with it. Are you cumming, baby— 'cause you got me cumming like a motherfucker—" –</p><p>Shepard's body jerked as he found his release, pooling on his well-muscled abdomen.</p><p>"That was good," Shepard grinned, breathlessly, as he ran his fingertips lazily through the remnants of his orgasm before bringing his fingers to his mouth, cleaning them slowly. "I wonder if K would like my taste?"</p><p>
  <b>BUZZ— BUZZ— BUZZ—</b>
</p><p>– <b>Kaidan:</b>   "That was <b>so </b>good! I really needed the release." –</p><p>– <b>Shepard:</b>  "You came, then?" –</p><p>– <b>Kaidan:</b>  "Yes. Did you?" –</p><p>– <b>Shepard:</b>  "Yep, and it tasted so good." –</p><p>– <b>Kaidan:</b>   "You <b>tasted </b>it?" –</p><p>– <b>Shepard:</b>  "Uh-huh. Does that bother you?" –</p><p>– <b>Kaidan:</b>   " <b>No! </b>I think it's— sexy." –</p><p>– <b>Shepard:</b>  "Maybe one day, you can taste me too." –</p><p>Shepard waited patiently for Kaidan's reply. The reply finally came ten minutes later—</p><p>– <b>Kaidan:</b>  "I really hate to cut this short, but I have to go. My parents are calling me for dinner.  Have a good night, Shepard." –</p><p>– <b>Shepard:</b>  "'Night, K." –</p><p>Shepard groaned as he tossed his phone aside. "I sure hope I ain't fucking things up with Kaidan."</p><p><em> 'Well, if you are, at least you had a good time,' </em>the voice said.</p><p>"It was pretty fun," Shepard admitted with a grin as there was a sudden knock on the door.</p><p>"Loco, dinner's ready," Hailey called out from behind the door.</p><p>"I'll be there in a minute," Shepard replied back as he slipped on a pair of old sweats before throwing on an old Canucks t-shirt. "I wonder what's for dinner?"</p><p><em> 'Yeah— you already had dessert,' </em>the voice snickered as Shepard made his way to the door— laughing hysterically at the voice in his head.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>Shepard and Kaidan continued their nightly sexting. Every night— without fail— the two boys would sext back and forth until both were fully spent and left wanting for more.</p><p>Despite their obvious attraction, Kaidan could never quite bring himself to do anything more than glance at Shepard whenever they met in school. </p><p>Kaidan's forlorn gazes weren't lost on Rahna. Her suspicions were growing, and it was only a matter of time before her suspicions would be proven true—</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Friday evening—</b>
</p><p>"Mom, I'm home," Shepard called out as he entered the house.</p><p>"How was practise?" Kahlee asked with a warm smile.</p><p>"It was good," Shepard replied as he kissed his mother's cheek.</p><p>"Your tutor is here," Kahlee informed her blue-eyed son, "They're in the den."</p><p>Shepard groaned as he turned towards the den. "I totally forgot about that. I hope they don't think I'm stupid."</p><p>"Oh, I doubt they'd think that," Kahlee said with a knowing smile as her son made his way up the stairs.</p><p>"Kaidan? You're my tutor?" Shepard asked, totally surprised to see his crush.</p><p>"Uh— yeah. I would have told you, but I only found out today who it was I agreed to tutor. If this is too awkward, I can leave," Kaidan insisted.</p><p>"No, you can stay. I mean, if you want," Shepard replied nervously. "Do you wanna go to my room?"</p><p>Kaidan thought about it for a second before answering. "Sure."</p><p>"Cool," Shepard grinned as they made their way to Shepard's room.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"Okay, first things first— we focus on your work— no flirting or playing around while studying. If you can't accept that— I'll go," Kaidan stated firmly.</p><p>"Understood. I'll be good," Shepard promised as he took a seat beside the amber-eyed teen.</p><p>"Show me one of your papers," Kaidan instructed as he opened Shepard's Language Arts book.</p><p>"I can already see one problem," Kaidan said as he casually skimmed over the paper.</p><p>"I write like a girl— if that's what you mean," Shepard shrugged.</p><p>Kaidan couldn't help but chuckle at the blue-eyed beauty. "Your penmanship is actually great. It's very neat and— well, pretty."</p><p>"Yeah, like I said," Shepard grinned. "If it ain't the way I write, then what is it?"</p><p>"Well, you write the way you speak," Kaidan explained, "That's a problem."</p><p>"What's wrong with the way I talk?" Shepard asked, furrowing his brow in confusion.</p><p>"Nothing— there's nothing wrong. It's just improper English," Kaidan informed his confused friend.</p><p>"But— I don't see why I can't write it the way I would say it. I mean, people understand me just fine," Shepard pouted.</p><p>Kaidan laughed a bit at Shepard's words. "Because that's not how it works. You have to write in proper sentences, using proper English."</p><p>"Alright," Shepard agreed as he began to edit his paper. "K, do you think I talk funny?"</p><p>"Uh— no. I like the way you talk," Kaidan admitted, "It's different."</p><p>"So— you don't think I sound stupid? Once, when I was younger, I overheard a teacher say she could tell I wasn't very smart by the way I talked," Shepard explained with a shrug.</p><p>"That was very rude of her. I don't think you sound stupid at all. You're actually very smart. You learn things at a very fast pace— faster than anyone I've ever met. You should be more confident," Kaidan insisted.</p><p>"Yeah. I learn stuff quick— when somebody tells me how to do it. I don't read too good. I'm too goddamn slow. It takes me forever to read the material, and I end up falling behind. It fucking sucks," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p><p>"Then, I'll just have to read things to you. It's as simple as that," Kaidan insisted as he continued to help Shepard with his paper.</p><p>The two worked on Shepard's paper for nearly an hour before it was finally finished—</p><p>"I think that should do it. You should have no problem passing this assignment. Your paper's really good," Kaidan praised as he gave Shepard a pat on the back.</p><p>"I hope it ain't too good. The teacher won't believe it's mine," Shepard joked as he put his things away.</p><p>"You'll be fine," Kaidan chuckled as he stretched out on Shepard's bed.</p><p>"You tired, K?" Shepard asked as he crawled up beside the whisky-eyed brunette.</p><p>"A little— it's been a long day," Kaidan admitted, "I had a migraine earlier. It wore me out."</p><p>Shepard moved onto his side to get a better look at his friend. "Is it better now," Shepard asked as he brushed a stray hair from Kaidan's brow.</p><p>"Yeah. It's gone now," Kaidan replied lazily.</p><p>Shepard decided to be bold and ran his tongue gently over the shell of Kaidan's ear. The whisky-eyed teen softly moaned before turning to kiss the mischievous blue-eyed blonde.</p><p>Their tongues mingled as Shepard ran his hands down Kaidan's body— enjoying the way the brunette's muscles danced under his fingertips. </p><p>Kaidan became bolder— beginning to grind against Shepard, grabbing onto Shepard's ass and pulling him even closer.</p><p>Shepard could feel Kaidan's sex hardening, and it excited him to no end.</p><p>"Do you wanna fuck me, K?" Shepard whispered, his breath hot against Kaidan's ear.</p><p>Kaidan groaned as he began to grind himself even harder against Shepard's clothed sex.</p><p>"Yes— but not yet," Kaidan replied— hazily— as he kissed the young blonde deeply.</p><p>"Do you wanna cum, baby?" Shepard asked as he continued to kiss his way down Kaidan's well-formed body.</p><p>"Please—" Kaidan whined as he laced his fingers in Shepard's dark blonde hair.</p><p>Shepard grinned, wickedly, as he freed Kaidan's erection— softly kissing the tip before taking the head in his mouth.</p><p>"You're so damn good at this," Kaidan praised as he started to thrust deeper into Shepard's hot mouth.</p><p>Shepard allowed Kaidan to use him for as long as he needed— until finally—</p><p>"I'm cumming," Kaidan whined as he spilled into Shepard's waiting mouth.</p><p>Shepard wasted no time, milking the man for all he was worth, before allowing Kaidan to slip from his mouth.</p><p>"Was it good, baby?" Shepard asked as Kaidan struggled to catch his breath.</p><p>"In—incredible— it was incredible," Kaidan admitted as he kissed Shepard languidly.</p><p>The two kissed until they both ran out of breath. Shepard smiled against Kaidan's mouth as he rubbed up against Kaidan's leg.</p><p>"You can grind on me until you finish," Kaidan shyly offered.</p><p>"Yeah," Shepard grinned wickedly, "Do you want me to cum in my jeans?"</p><p>Kaidan swallowed thickly at the thought. "I—if you want."</p><p>"Nope, you gotta tell me what you want. 'Cause this ain't about me— it's about you. So tell me, K— what do you want?"</p><p>"I want you to rub against me until you cum," Kaidan admitted truthfully.</p><p>"See— that wasn't so hard, now was it," Shepard whispered as he began to rub himself roughly against Kaidan's leg.</p><p>Kaidan watched in heated fascination as Shepard chased his release— thrusting harder and harder until—</p><p>"Cum for me, Shepard— and look me in the eye when you do," Kaidan instructed as Shepard's sapphire-blue eyes met Kaidan's amber ones before the young blonde came with a grunt, effectively ruining his clothes.</p><p>"You're so beautiful," Kaidan whispered as he kissed Shepard softly, allowing his tongue to gently explore the depths of Shepard's mouth.</p><p>
  <b>BUZZ— BUZZ— BUZZ—</b>
</p><p>Kaidan reluctantly pulled away. "That's my phone."</p><p>Shepard hummed as he suckled Kaidan's neck.</p><p>"Hello," Kaidan replied, doing his best to stifle a moan as Shepard continued to nip at the soft skin of his neck.</p><p>"Hey, Rahna. I'm getting ready to head out. I'll be there to pick you up in about twenty minutes," Kaidan replied, letting a small moan escape his lips. "It was nothing. I'm on my way. Love you too."</p><p>Kaidan sighed as he ended the call.</p><p>"Do you really have to go? " Shepard asked quietly.</p><p>"Yeah. I'm sorry," Kaidan whispered as he kissed Shepard lightly on the lips before standing to gather his things.</p><p>"Do you fuck her?" Shepard asked curiously.</p><p>"What?" Kaidan asked, shocked by the question.</p><p>"DO YOU FUCK HER? It's a simple yes or no question," Shepard insisted.</p><p>"I really don't think that's any of your business," Kaidan replied with a shrug.</p><p>"Oh, come on! Don't give me that bullshit! Just answer the goddamn question. I ain't gonna be mad. I just wanna know," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p><p>"Fine! If you want to know so badly, I'll tell you— yes, we have sex. Does that bother you?" Kaidan asked in annoyance.</p><p>"Not really," Shepard shrugged, "I was just curious. Do you wanna stop what we're doing?"</p><p>"What?" Kaidan asked nervously, a sense of fear in his voice.</p><p>"You said you loved her, so— I'm giving you an out. You don't gotta humour me no more," Shepard said— sadly— as he turned his too-blue eyes away from his beloved friend.</p><p>"I— What if I don't want an out?" Kaidan asked as he gently touched Shepard's face, forcing the young blonde to look him in the eye. "You've got me so confused. I'm not gay, or at least I never thought of myself that way— until I met you. The first time I saw you— you were on the ice— I couldn't even see your face, but I was drawn to you. I know it sounds crazy, but it's true. From that day on, I haven't been able to stop thinking of you. You're like a force of nature, and it scares the hell outta me. I love Rahna— I really do, just not the way I should."</p><p>"Yeah— I get that. Just so you know— I'll be right here waiting if you ever wanna give me a try," Shepard said sincerely.</p><p>"I won't lie to you," Kaidan admitted, "I <b>really </b>do wanna give you a try. I'm just not sure I'm brave enough yet."</p><p>"I understand," Shepard said with that crooked smile that Kaidan loved. "Don't be mad, but I kinda accidentally gave you a love-bite."</p><p>"You did what?" Kaidan asked in mild irritation.</p><p>"Yep. It's pretty noticeable," Shepard admitted as he touched the bruised flesh of Kaidan's neck. "Are you mad?"</p><p>"A little," Kaidan admitted with an annoyed frown. "What am I supposed to tell Rahna?"</p><p>"Hell, I dunno. Tell her it's a bug bite— or just pretend you have no idea how it got there," Shepard suggested as he unbuttoned his jeans.</p><p>"What the hell are you doing?" Kaidan asked, brow cocking in confusion.</p><p>"I'm changing. I came in my jeans, remember? It's sticky, so—" Shepard replied in an amused tone.</p><p>"Oh, yeah— I forgot about that." Kaidan couldn't help but stare as Shepard pulled off his jeans and underwear— revealing his naked backside.</p><p>"You have a perfect ass," Kaidan said aloud as he continued to stare.</p><p>Shepard broke out laughing as he quickly put on a pair of sweats. "Yeah— it's the hockey. My ass isn't nearly as big as some of the other players. To be totally honest, I think you have a way nicer ass than me."</p><p>"Uh-huh," Kaidan nodded in amusement, "I should probably head out. I'm already late. I guess I'll see you soon."</p><p>"Definitely," Shepard promised as he kissed his friend goodbye, "Want me to text you later?"</p><p>"Always. I— uh— love your texts," Kaidan grinned as he kissed Shepard one last time before making his way to the door. "Later, Shepard."</p><p>"Later, K. Drive safe, eh," Shepard said with a wink as he watched his friend disappear from sight.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"Hey, Rahna. I'm sorry, I'm late. The tutoring session lasted a little longer than usual," Kaidan explained as he opened the car door for his girlfriend.</p><p>"I take it Shepard had some trouble understanding things," Rahna replied casually.</p><p>"What makes you say that?" Kaidan asked, furrowing his brow in confusion.</p><p>"Well, it's obvious he isn't as smart as most people," Rahna explained with a gentle smile. "It shows in the way he talks."</p><p>"What do you mean?" Kaidan asked, feeling very uneasy with the conversation.</p><p>"Well, you've heard him speak— it's very— what's the right word— uneducated. You can obviously tell where he's from," Rahna said as she placed her hand on Kaidan's.</p><p>"You shouldn't judge people based solely on the way they talk. It's rude and often-times inaccurate. Shepard's actually very intelligent. He just has trouble reading," Kaidan explained with a sigh.</p><p>"He's illiterate? That's so unfortunate. I feel sorry for him," Rahna replied sadly.</p><p>"He isn't illiterate! He can read just fine. He just has trouble with speed. He's a slow reader, that's all," Kaidan snapped at his girlfriend as he suddenly moved his hand away from hers, choosing to focus on the road ahead.</p><p>"It's still a learning disability, Kaidan. I know he's your friend, but you need to admit that he's just not as smart as the rest of us," Rahna insisted with a pout.</p><p>"You're wrong. He's probably smarter than all of us combined. He just has trouble showing it. He's an auditory learner. If he had someone to read all the material to him, he'd probably be an A student," Kaidan replied, defending his friend until the bitter end.</p><p>"Fine. He's smart. Forgive me for offending you," Rahna apologized as she glanced solemnly at her boyfriend, eyes going wide when she noticed the love-bite on his neck—</p><p>"What?" Kaidan asked, suddenly noticing that his girlfriend was staring.</p><p>"Are you cheating on me?" Rahna asked anxiously.</p><p>"What? Why would you ask me that?" Kaidan asked nervously.</p><p>"Maybe because you have a fucking hickey on your neck! I'm not stupid, Kaidan. I see the way he flirts with you. The way you look at him— it's not lost on me. So, just be honest with me. Do you like him too, or is it a one-way street?" Rahna asked anxiously.</p><p>"It— It's complicated," Kaidan mumbled as he continued to keep his eyes on the road.</p><p>"Complicated? Was it him that gave you that love-mark?" Rahna asked calmly.</p><p>"Yeah. It was," Kaidan admitted.</p><p>"So, you're sleeping with him?" Rahna laughed bitterly.</p><p>"No! It never went that far," Kaidan replied anxiously.</p><p>"Did you <b>want </b>it to go that far?"</p><p>"I don't know—" Kaidan sighed.</p><p>"Don't lie to me, Kaidan! You know how you feel, so answer the damn question," Rahna demanded.</p><p>"Fine, I'll answer— YES! I want him! I think about him all the time! Is that what you want to hear," Kaidan screamed in frustration as he answered the question truthfully.</p><p>Rahna couldn't help but cry. The tears started flowing uncontrollably from her sad brown eyes.</p><p>"Why?" Rahna asked.</p><p>"I don't know why, Rahna— it's just how I feel," Kaidan admitted.</p><p>"Why did you pursue me again if you realized you were gay? Why would you do that to me, Kaidan," Rahna asked sincerely.</p><p>"Because I'm not gay! I still like girls! I just happen to like guys too. And I do love you, but not in the way I should," Kaidan admitted truthfully, "I never meant to hurt you, Rahna. You have to believe that."</p><p>"I do believe you, Kaidan. I really do— but it still hurts," Rahna admitted as she looked away from her soon-to-be ex-boyfriend. "Does Ash know you're bisexual?"</p><p>"Are you kidding me? Of course not. She'd freak out. I tried to tell her when she was visiting, but I could tell by the way she talked that she would have trouble accepting it. I don't want to lose my family, so I never told her," Kaidan replied anxiously.</p><p>"I—I understand. I won't out you, so don't worry about that. I love you, Kaidan. I always will. You were my first, and I'll cherish our time together, but after tonight— we're just friends. So, let's pretend— just for one more night— that everything's perfect and that we're a happy couple. Because I don't want to ruin your family dinner, and I want just one more happy memory. Is that too much to ask?" </p><p>"No, Rahna— it's not too much to ask. I'd like that, actually," Kaidan agreed as he took her hand and kissed it gently. "You are one special lady, and I'll love you forever."</p><p>Rahna smiled sweetly at her former love. "Shepard is a lucky man."</p><p>"No, Rahna. I'm the lucky one," Kaidan replied honestly.</p><p>"He's that special?" Rahna asked curiously.</p><p>"He really is," Kaidan replied with the sweetest smile Rahna had ever seen.</p><p>"I wish you both the very best," Rahna whispered as she kissed Kaidan's hand.</p><p>"Thanks, Rahna. It means a lot," Kaidan smiled as he turned into the driveway.</p><p>'More than you'll ever know—'</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next Chapter:  Shepard throws a party at Alex and Ryan's place—</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Stargazer</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Shepard throws a party—</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The only warning for this chapter would be for underaged drinking—</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Saturday afternoon—</b>
</p>
<p>"Yo, hurry up, Scars! We ain't got all day," James shouted as he paced the floor in anticipation.</p>
<p>"Relax, Jimmy! I'm sure your little girlfriend will still be there, even if we are a little late," Garrus assured him as he finished styling his hair.</p>
<p>"I swear, you take all damn day to get ready! Can't you be just a little bit faster," James pleaded.</p>
<p>"Calm down, Jimmy! I'm all set. I'm assuming we're taking your car today," Garrus said as he put on his jacket.</p>
<p>"Yeah. I thought it would be a nice change of pace," James shrugged as he followed Garrus to the car.</p>
<p>"Uh-huh. So— you're trying to impress Jack," Garrus teased as he got into the passenger's seat.</p>
<p>"Don't be ridiculous," James said, rolling his eyes in annoyance as he started the car.</p>
<p>"Right— Are we supposed to meet Shepard somewhere, or what," Garrus asked curiously.</p>
<p>"Yeah, he texted me the address. It's on Keefer Street. I think it's Ryan's address," James explained.</p>
<p>"Curious— I wonder what he's up to?" Garrus thought aloud.</p>
<p>"With Loco, you never know," James chuckled as he pulled out of the drive. "Are we picking up Tali?"</p>
<p>"Of course," Garrus explained, "I think Liara's coming too. And— maybe— Joker and Edi as well."</p>
<p>"My car isn't big enough for that many people, Scars," James said in annoyance.</p>
<p>"Yeah, I think I'll text Samantha and have her and Diana pick up Joker and Edi," Garrus replied as he began texting.</p>
<p>"Does Loco even know who Samantha and Diana are?" James asked, shaking his head in amusement.</p>
<p>"No, but that's not important. I'm sure they'll hit it off," Garrus insisted as he finally got a reply. "They're cool with bringing Joker and Edi. They'll meet us at Tali's and follow us from there."</p>
<p>"You really shouldn't invite people without asking him," James warned.</p>
<p>"Don't worry so much, Jimmy," Garrus assured his nervous friend, "It'll be fine."</p>
<p>"I hope so," James said with a sigh as he continued on towards his destination.</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>"Your bike is badass," Jack praised as she removed her helmet.</p>
<p>"Yeah, she's something else," Shepard grinned as he gently rubbed the gas tank.</p>
<p>"So— is Muscles gonna be here?" Jack asked as she popped her gum in nervous habit.</p>
<p>"Yep," Shepard assured his friend, "He's so fucking excited to see you. There's no way he won't show."</p>
<p>"Yeah," Jack grinned wickedly, "Good to know."</p>
<p>"Somebody wants to get laid," Shepard teased in a sing-song voice.</p>
<p>"Fuck yeah, I do," Jack admitted. "Speaking of getting laid— is Kaidan coming?"</p>
<p>"I dunno. I invited him, but I don't know if he'll come," Shepard explained.</p>
<p>"He's fucking crazy if he doesn't show," Jack insisted, "I mean, you are a sexy motherfucker, and only an idiot would pass up a chance to hook up with you."</p>
<p>"Thanks, Jack," Shepard grinned as he kissed his friend playfully on the lips.</p>
<p>"Hey, someone's coming," Jack informed her blue-eyed friend with a nod.</p>
<p>"That's James. I think Garrus is with him. I don't know the other car, though," Shepard said, brow furrowed in confusion.</p>
<p>"You think it's Kaidan?" Jack asked curiously.</p>
<p>"Nah, Kaidan drives a friggin' BMW," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p>
<p>"Seriously? He really is a rich boy, huh," Jack said in surprise.</p>
<p>"Yep. He really is," Shepard said with a grin.</p>
<p>"If he drives a BMW, then that must be him," Jack said as she pointed at the BMW driving towards them. </p>
<p>"Yep, that's him," Shepard said with an air of excitement in his voice.</p>
<p>Jack couldn't help but notice the smile on her friend's face, and it warmed her heart.</p>
<p>"Looks like we both might get some, eh," Jack said with a mischievous wink.</p>
<p>"Here's hoping," Shepard agreed with a laugh.</p>
<p>Shepard's smile soon faded as Rahna exited the passenger's side. </p>
<p>"I thought they split," Jack stated in confusion.</p>
<p>"So did I. I mean, that's what he told me," Shepard explained anxiously.</p>
<p>"I swear to god if he hurts you—" Jack's words were cut short by Shepard's reply.</p>
<p>"It's okay, Jack. I'm okay. It is what it is," Shepard said as he gave her hand a gentle squeeze.</p>
<p>"Hey, Shepard," Garrus called out as he led a rather large group of people towards the blue-eyed blonde.</p>
<p>"Garrus, who the fuck are these people?" Shepard asked in irritation.</p>
<p>"Don't worry, Shepard. You're amongst friends. This is Samantha, you can call her Sam, and this is her girlfriend— Diana," Garrus explained.</p>
<p>"Hello, Shepard," Sam said as she quickly shook his hand.</p>
<p>"We're happy to finally meet you," Diana chimed in as she, too, shook his hand, "We've heard so much about you."</p>
<p>"Uh-huh," Shepard mumbled as he began to fidget nervously.</p>
<p>"Hey, Shepard! Where's this party at?" Joker asked with Edi following close behind.</p>
<p>"My friend's place. So, do me a favour and try not to trash his place," Shepard pleaded.</p>
<p>"We would never," Joker teased.</p>
<p>"Uh-huh," Shepard grinned as he watched James nervously make his way towards Jack.</p>
<p>"H—hey— You look nice," James said awkwardly.</p>
<p>"You are too damn cute," Jack grinned as she kissed him gently on the mouth. "Muscles, we are gonna have so much fun— you're never gonna wanna leave my side."</p>
<p>"Sounds like it's my lucky night," James grinned, trying his best to act cool.</p>
<p>"Luckier than you think— if you play your cards right," Jack teased as she took the nervous boy by the hand.</p>
<p>"Try not to break him, Jack. We need him for the game on Tuesday," Shepard reminded his wild friend with an amused laugh.</p>
<p>"Don't worry, I'll keep him primed," Jack assured him with a wink.</p>
<p>"Hello, Shepard. Kaidan invited me— I hope that's not a problem," Rahna said with a smile.</p>
<p>"Uh— No. It's not a problem at all," Shepard assured the girl while giving Kaidan a confused look.</p>
<p>Kaidan said nothing as he did his best to avoid Shepard's gaze.</p>
<p>"So, can we go in, or what?" Garrus asked as he took Tali by the hand.</p>
<p>"Yeah, I guess so," Shepard replied with a sigh, "Just follow me."</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK—</b>
</p>
<p>"Are you sure they're home?" Liara asked curiously.</p>
<p>"Yeah, they're home. It just takes Alex a minute," Shepard explained.</p>
<p>"Whoa, whoa, whoa— I thought we were going to a party at Ryan's place," Garrus asked in confusion.</p>
<p>"This is Ryan's place, you idiot," Shepard explained in annoyance. </p>
<p>"So, Alex is his roommate?" Garrus asked curiously.</p>
<p>Shepard gave Garrus a disbelieving look. "Use your brain, Garrus," Shepard replied as he knocked once more.</p>
<p>"Oh— OH! I get it," Garrus nodded with a grin.</p>
<p>"Blue-eyes! Come on in! I take it these are your guests," Alex said as he kissed Shepard on the cheek before motioning for the crowd to enter.</p>
<p>"Where's Walker?" Shepard asked curiously.</p>
<p>"He's in the bedroom getting dressed. Feel free to go get him," Alex grinned as he walked towards the stereo. "I'll get the music started. Everyone— make yourselves comfortable— drinks on ice, and the bar's open."</p>
<p>"I'll go get Walker," Shepard grinned as he made his way to the bedroom.</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>"Nice ass, Walker," Shepard teased, causing a very naked Ryan to jump in surprise.</p>
<p>"Baby Boy, you scared the hell outta me! Come over here," Ryan insisted as he hugged his best friend tight, kissing him softly in greeting. "Congratulations on becoming Captain."</p>
<p>"Why, thank you. You taste good tonight. Alex is a lucky guy," Shepard admitted as he kissed Ryan once more.</p>
<p>"So, you want to help me pick out something to wear?" Ryan asked with a wink. "I wanna look nice for Alex."</p>
<p>"Why don't you wear one of his dress shirts? They're sexy as hell, and he'd be pleasantly surprised," Shepard suggested.</p>
<p>"Yeah. Okay, I'll give it a try. What about underwear?" Ryan asked as he opened the underwear drawer.</p>
<p>"Why bother? Think of how hot Alex'll get when you whisper that you aren't wearing any— he'll be all over you," Shepard grinned mischievously.</p>
<p>"You think?" Ryan asked in amusement. "I'll go for it. You haven't let me down yet, Baby Boy."</p>
<p>"Nope, and I never will," Shepard promised as he watched his best friend dress.</p>
<p>"Well, whattaya think?" Ryan asked as he finished getting dressed.</p>
<p>"You're fucking gorgeous, Walker," Shepard assured the grey-eyed man. </p>
<p>"Thanks, Baby Boy," Ryan asked as he ran a hand along his chin, "Should I shave?"</p>
<p>"Nope. Your stubble is sexy as fuck," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p>
<p>"Yeah," Ryan grinned as he ran a hand through his hair, "Is my cologne good— not too heavy, is it?"</p>
<p>"It's perfect, Ryan! YOU'RE PERFECT," Shepard reassured his friend. "Alex isn't going to be able to keep his hands off you." </p>
<p>"That's what I'm going for," Ryan admitted with a wink.</p>
<p>"Heads up, though. There's a few people here I don't know, but I don't think they have any idea who you are— so, I don't think they'll out you. I can ask them to leave if you want," Shepard offered, not wanting his friend to be uncomfortable in his own home.</p>
<p>"You don't have to do that, Baby Boy. I'll take my chances. I don't mind. But— what about you? They might out you if they see you and Kaidan together," Ryan reminded his beloved friend.</p>
<p>"Yeah, I don't think I gotta worry about that," Shepard said with a frown.</p>
<p>"Whattaya mean, J?" Ryan asked in confusion. </p>
<p>"He brought Rahna with him," Shepard explained.</p>
<p>"What the fuck? Didn't he tell you they split?" Ryan asked in concern.</p>
<p>"Yeah— that's what he said," Shepard admitted with a bitter laugh. "But knowing Kaidan, he probably got back with her."</p>
<p>"J, I love you, and I don't want to piss you off— but you gotta stop sucking that guys dick when you ain't getting anything in return," Ryan said firmly.</p>
<p>"Yeah— I know," Shepard admitted with a nod, "But it's hard because I really like him."</p>
<p>"I know, Baby Boy," Ryan said with an understanding smile. "Let's head out to the party. And, who knows, maybe we're reading the whole  Kaidan and Rahna situation wrong."</p>
<p>"Maybe— I sure hope so," Shepard smiled as he followed Ryan to the living room.</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>"Damn, baby! You look fine," Alex complimented his lover as he took the grey-eyed man by the waist, kissing him deeply in appreciation, "You're so sexy! Is that my shirt? You wear it so well, baby."</p>
<p>"Why, thank you," Ryan grinned as he let his hands roam down his lover's back.</p>
<p>"Told you he'd love it," Shepard winked as he made his way towards Garrus.</p>
<p>"Thanks, J," Ryan chuckled as he kissed his brown-eyed lover once more.</p>
<p>"No problem," Shepard called back as he took a seat next to Garrus.</p>
<p>"This is a nice place they got here," Garrus commented as he handed Shepard a beer.</p>
<p>"Yep. Alex has great taste," Shepard said, nodding as he took a swig of his beer.</p>
<p>"So— what's up with Kaidan? I thought you said he and Rahna were done," Garrus asked casually.</p>
<p>"Yeah— that's what he told me. I swear, he confuses the hell outta me," Shepard admitted.</p>
<p>"Shepard, you're my friend, and I love you— but, please, stay away from Kaidan. It's obvious he doesn't know what he wants— messing with him is just going to fuck with your head," Garrus pleaded in concern for his friend.</p>
<p>"I thought Kaidan was your friend too. That's a pretty harsh view of him," Shepard said with a disappointed frown.</p>
<p>"He is. And he's a great guy— but I don't think it would be fair of me to lie to you. In my honest opinion, unless Kaidan gets his shit together, you should steer clear of him— for your own mental health," Garrus explained truthfully.</p>
<p>"Garrus, I ain't gonna lose my shit over Kaidan," Shepard said, rolling his eyes in annoyance.</p>
<p>"Uh-huh," Garrus said skeptically.</p>
<p>"Fuck you, Garrus," Shepard grinned in amusement as he downed the rest of his beer.</p>
<p>"You planning on getting drunk tonight?" Garrus asked, cocking his brow in amusement.</p>
<p>"Dunno. I ain't decided yet. If I do, I'll just crash here. No need for you to worry, bud," Shepard assured his friend.</p>
<p>"Whatever you say," Garrus said, shaking his head in silent disapproval.</p>
<p>"Shouldn't you be dancing with your girlfriend or something?" Shepard asked in mild irritation.</p>
<p>"I think I will," Garrus agreed with an amused laugh. "Later, Shepard."</p>
<p>"Later," Shepard waved as he opened himself another beer.</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>Shepard was in the kitchen drinking when the alarm on his cell phone went off, signalling it was time for his medication.</p>
<p>"Fuck," Shepard cursed as he retrieved a few small bottles from the inside pocket of his leather jacket.</p>
<p>About that time, Rahna wandered into the kitchen.</p>
<p>"Hello, Shepard," Rahna called out— startling Shepard, causing him to drop one of his bottles— the contents spilling onto the floor.</p>
<p>"Goddammit," Shepard yelled as he knelt down to pick up the spilled pills.</p>
<p>"I—I'm so sorry! Please, allow me to help," Rahna offered, feeling awful for startling the blue-eyed teen.</p>
<p>"It's fine. I got it," Shepard insisted as he quickly scooped up the medication.</p>
<p>"I really am sorry," Rahna apologized once more.</p>
<p>"It's fine," Shepard mumbled as he hastily put the bottles back into his jacket— quickly grabbing his bottle of beer before leaving Rahna alone in the kitchen.</p>
<p>"That was curious," Rahna stated as she grabbed a bottle of water before returning to Kaidan's side.</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>"Kaidan, I'm back," Rahna called out as she handed him the bottle of water.</p>
<p>"Thanks. My migraine isn't bad, so I'm hoping my meds will stifle it," Kaidan explained as he took his medication.</p>
<p>"Kaidan— is your friend sick?" Rahna asked nervously.</p>
<p>"Which friend? Do you mean Shepard?" Kaidan asked curiously.</p>
<p>"Uh-huh," Rahna nodded.</p>
<p>"Hmm. Well— you know about the accident he was in— why do you ask?" Kaidan asked in confusion.</p>
<p>"I saw him with some pill bottles. I accidentally startled him, and he spilled them onto the floor," Rahna explained, "He seemed to be upset that I interrupted him."</p>
<p>"It was probably just something for his head. He has headaches too," Kaidan explained with a shrug.</p>
<p>"Oh. That makes sense," Rahna smiled uneasily, "Kaidan, why haven't you spoken to him tonight?"</p>
<p>"I don't want to be rude. I brought you, remember," Kaidan reminded her with a nervous grin.</p>
<p>"I know— but we aren't together anymore. And from what you've told me— you're more than a little interested in him. So— go! Go find him— let him know you're here for <strong>him</strong>, not for me," Rahna suggested with a knowing smile.</p>
<p>"I don't know if that's a very good idea," Kaidan replied nervously.</p>
<p>"KAIDAN! Go to him," Rahna insisted. "He seems so lonely. You could at least keep him company."</p>
<p>"Fine! I'll go," Kaidan finally agreed as he kissed Rahna on the forehead.</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>Kaidan looked everywhere for the blue-eyed beauty— but to no avail. He was just about to give up when he turned his gaze to the terrace—</p>
<p>There was Shepard— alone— sitting on his ass, staring up at the sky— leather jacket abandoned and tossed to the side.</p>
<p>"There you are," Kaidan mumbled to himself as he made his way to Shepard's side.</p>
<p>Upon hearing the glass door opening, Shepard quickly glanced towards the sound.</p>
<p>"Kaidan," Shepard said quietly.</p>
<p>"Yeah— it's me," Kaidan replied with a nervous smile. "Do you mind if I sit with you?"</p>
<p>"Huh? I mean, no— not at all," Shepard assured his friend as he turned his gaze to the sky. "I was just watching the stars."</p>
<p>"You like watching stars?" Kaidan asked curiously.</p>
<p>"I do," Shepard nodded, "I usually go to the beach and watch them. The sound of the water calms me and makes the stars seem so much brighter. I know that sounds stupid, but it's just how I feel."</p>
<p>"That doesn't sound stupid at all," Kaidan assured the young blonde. "It's a beautiful sentiment, actually."</p>
<p>"I guess," Shepard shrugged. "So— I take it, you and Rahna are back together."</p>
<p>"Uh— No, actually, we're not," Kaidan replied, shaking his head for emphasis, "I just invited her here as a friend."</p>
<p>Shepard nodded. "Can I ask you something?"</p>
<p>"Sure," Kaidan replied with a smile.</p>
<p>"Why are you avoiding me?" Shepard asked anxiously.</p>
<p>"I'm not avoiding you," Kaidan insisted, "I'm here now, aren't I? I was only giving you a little space."</p>
<p>"I don't want space," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p>
<p>"Well— what <b>do </b>you want?" Kaidan asked casually.</p>
<p>"You," Shepard answered, simply, as he leaned in and kissed the amber-eyed teen.</p>
<p>Kaidan's breath hitched in surprise, but it didn't take long for Kaidan to return the kiss. Before long, their tongues were dancing their familiar dance.</p>
<p>"Come with me," Shepard whispered as he took Kaidan by the hand. </p>
<p>Kaidan said nothing as he allowed himself to be led to one of the guest bedrooms.</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>Shepard quietly locked the door before removing his shirt and tossing it to the side. He never said a word— he just motioned for Kaidan to come closer.</p>
<p>Like a moth to the flame, Kaidan was drawn to Shepard's arms. Shepard wasted no time— kissing Kaidan slowly as he quickly removed the whisky-eyed brunette's shirt.</p>
<p>"Do you want me, Kaidan?" Shepard asked, anxiously, as he pressed his forehead against Kaidan's.</p>
<p>"Yes," Kaidan whispered truthfully.</p>
<p>"You can have me. I'm yours to do with what you please," Shepard said as he offered himself up to the whisky-eyed teen.</p>
<p>"I just want to touch you," Kaidan replied quietly.</p>
<p>"Okay," Shepard agreed with a nod. "Anything you want, baby."</p>
<p>Shepard led Kaidan to the bed, and they sat side by side as Shepard allowed Kaidan to slowly touch his body.</p>
<p>"Your skin— it's so warm," Kaidan whispered as he kissed his way down Shepard's chest— taking his time tracing Shepard's tattoos with his tongue.</p>
<p>"You make me warm," Shepard admitted as he allowed the whisky-eyed teen to do as he pleased with his body.</p>
<p>Kaidan kissed his way down to Shepard's belly button before stopping suddenly.</p>
<p>"What is it, baby? Is something wrong?" Shepard asked nervously.</p>
<p>"I— C—can I hold you?" Kaidan asked shyly.</p>
<p>"You want to— hold me?" Shepard asked in confusion.</p>
<p>"Yes," Kaidan admitted. "Has no one ever just wanted to hold you?"</p>
<p>"Aaron—" Shepard whispered sadly.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have—" Kaidan apologized.</p>
<p>"Shh— It's okay, Kaidan. You can hold me if you want," Shepard whispered with a warm smile.</p>
<p>Shepard tensed ever so slightly as Kaidan wrapped his arms firmly around Shepard's chest.</p>
<p>"It's okay, Shepard. I'm not going to hurt you," Kaidan whispered as he kissed Shepard's temple.</p>
<p>"I know. It's just— no one's held me like this since Aaron. It brings back memories, yeah," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p>
<p>"Relax, baby," Kaidan whispered as he gently stroked Shepard's dark-blonde hair.</p>
<p>Shepard finally willed his body to relax as he leaned into Kaidan's touch. </p>
<p>"How do you feel, baby?" Kaidan asked softly.</p>
<p>"I'm good," Shepard whispered. "It feels warm."</p>
<p>"Lie down with me," Kaidan instructed as he pulled Shepard down onto the bed, wrapping his arms firmly around Shepard's narrow waist— holding him close. </p>
<p>Kaidan placed a hand over Shepard's heart, smiling at the steady rhythm he found there.</p>
<p>"You have a strong heart," Kaidan whispered as he kissed Shepard's cheek.</p>
<p>Shepard said nothing— he just smiled as he allowed himself to be held by the man he had grown to care about so very much.</p>
<p>It didn't take long for the two boys to eventually drift off to sleep.</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>"Liara, have you seen Kaidan? It's getting late, and I don't want to anger my parents by staying out past curfew," Rahna asked nervously.</p>
<p>"No, I haven't seen him. Perhaps he and Shepard stepped out for a bit. I haven't seen either of them in a while," Liara replied truthfully.</p>
<p>"Yes, that's— probably— what happened. I've tried texting him, but I've had no luck," Rahna said as she texted Kaidan one last time.</p>
<p>"I can drop you off. I'm heading out, and we're practically neighbours," Liara suggested.</p>
<p>"Are you sure it wouldn't be any trouble?" Rahna asked anxiously.</p>
<p>"I'm sure," Liara smiled brightly as she and Rahna collected their jackets. "We can go now if you'd like."</p>
<p>"I'm ready," Rahna smiled as she put on her jacket. "Just give me a second— I'm going to leave a message for Kaidan with Mr. Walker."</p>
<p>Rahna casually walked to the bar where Alex and Ryan were sitting—</p>
<p>"Excuse me, Mr. Walker," Rahna said quietly, "I'm sorry for the interruption, but may I ask you a favour?"</p>
<p>"Uh— Sure, but next time— call me Ryan, okay," Ryan answered with a smile.</p>
<p>"I can't seem to find Kaidan anywhere, and Shepard has disappeared as well. Liara thinks they must have stepped out for a minute. You see, I have to be home soon, so there's just no way I can wait for him. Can you please tell Kaidan that I caught a ride with Liara? I don't want him to worry," Rahna explained.</p>
<p>"Sure. No problem," Ryan assured her with a warm smile. "Do you want me to have him text you— or call you, maybe?"</p>
<p>"That would be great! Thank you so much," Rahna said with a slight bow. "I had a really nice time tonight. Thank you for your hospitality."</p>
<p>"Anytime. I'm glad you enjoyed yourself," Ryan replied with a grin as Rahna made her way out of the building.</p>
<p>"She's a lovely girl," Alex grinned in amusement, "Very polite, and a bit naive."</p>
<p>"She really is," Ryan agreed with a nod. "Well, it looks like our guests are clearing out. Wanna go play around when they're gone?"</p>
<p>"Now, how could I ever pass up an invitation like that, Mr. Walker," Alex teased with a seductive grin.</p>
<p>"Good to hear, Mr. Mann," Ryan replied with a kiss.</p>
<p>"Yo, Ryan," Jack called out from beside the door. "Tell Shepard I left with James."</p>
<p>"Speaking of my Baby Boy— have you seen him?" Ryan asked curiously.</p>
<p>"Uh. Nope," Jack answered truthfully, "Maybe he got laid. Have you checked the guest rooms?"</p>
<p>"No, not yet, but you're probably right," Ryan chuckled, shaking his head in amusement.</p>
<p>"Tell him to text me," Jack said as she led James out of the building.</p>
<p>"Well, that's all of them," Alex grinned as he kissed his lover's neck. "I think we can wait until morning to clean up."</p>
<p>"Agreed," Ryan hummed as Alex continued to kiss his neck. "Let's turn off the lights and the stereo and head to bed— unless you wanna do it right here."</p>
<p>"Hmm— Now there's a thought," Alex chuckled playfully, as he tore the dress shirt from Ryan's body.</p>
<p>"Easy tiger! You in a hurry or something," Ryan grinned.</p>
<p>"Hell, yes! I'm in a hurry. I've wanted you all night," Alex admitted as he led Ryan to the couch.</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>"That was good," Alex sighed as he tried to catch his breath.</p>
<p>"So fucking good," Ryan agreed as he buried his face in the hollow of Alex's neck. "J's still not back. Do you think Jack was right? Do you think he's in one of the guest bedrooms with Kaidan?"</p>
<p>"I really hope so. Blue-eyes didn't look too good this evening. He looked sad and tired. I hate seeing him that way," Alex admitted, "It doesn't suit him."</p>
<p>"Yeah. He has a right to be tired, though. Their first game's coming up, and Coach Massani is working them hard. And J works harder than most. I just hate seeing him upset. The sadness is what kills me," Ryan explained, frowning as he thought of the sad look in his Baby Boy's eyes.</p>
<p>"Maybe we should go check the bedrooms," Alex offered as he kissed the top of Ryan's head.</p>
<p>"Yeah. I think we should," Ryan agreed as he retrieved their pants. "Put those on, just in case J's not alone."</p>
<p>"Yeah, I guess seeing two naked men <b>would</b> freak poor Kaidan out," Alex said with a teasing grin.</p>
<p>"No doubt," Ryan agreed with a laugh as they made their way towards the bedrooms.</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK—</b>
</p>
<p>"The door's locked, so someone's in there," Ryan said as he knocked once more.</p>
<p>"I might have to go get the key," Alex suggested as Ryan knocked once more.</p>
<p>"Wait, I think I hear some movement," Ryan said, his brow furrowed in concern.</p>
<p>Kaidan drowsily rose from the bed, walking slowly to the door— wiping the sleep from his eyes before unlocking it.</p>
<p>"Yeah," Kaidan mumbled as he opened the door wide.</p>
<p>Alex's brow cocked in amusement as he noticed Kaidan's naked chest. "I'm sorry if we interrupted something, but it's three in the morning, and your friend Rahna left hours ago. We didn't know where you were, but we were told to tell you that Rahna's safe. She went home with Liara. You should probably text her."</p>
<p>"Yeah— I should get going," Kaidan mumbled as he walked past the two men.</p>
<p>"Eh-hm—" Ryan cleared his throat to get the young whisky-eyed brunette's attention, "You might wanna put your shirt back on."</p>
<p>Kaidan's face turned bright red as he quickly retrieved a shirt from the floor before hastily collecting his things and running out of the house.</p>
<p>"He's cute when he's flustered," Alex teased as he turned his attention to Shepard, who was shirtless and sound asleep on the bed. "Do you think they fucked?"</p>
<p>"Nah. Baby Boy wouldn't be half-dressed— he'd be buck-naked," Ryan explained as he walked towards the bed. "J probably took care of Kaidan again. It's not fair that he doesn't get anything in return."</p>
<p>"Yeah. It's certainly not fair," Alex agreed as he, too, made his way over to the bed. "He's sleeping pretty soundly, huh?"</p>
<p>"Yeah— It's weird. Baby Boy, wake up," Ryan whispered as he gently shook the boy's broad shoulders. </p>
<p>"Blue-eyes, it's time to wake up," Alex called out loudly as he gently stroked Shepard's dark-blonde hair.</p>
<p>"Something's wrong," Ryan said as a sense of dread filled him, "J, baby, wake up!"</p>
<p>Alex began to slap Shepard's face gently, trying desperately to get the young man to stir. "Ryan, baby, he's not breathing properly. It's shallow. We need to wake him up— NOW!"</p>
<p>"J, listen to me— you gotta wake up! Please, Baby Boy! Wake up," Ryan pleaded. "Alex, go turn the shower on. I'm gonna put him under the water."</p>
<p>Alex moved quickly to the guest washroom, turning on the shower before giving Ryan the right of way.</p>
<p>Ryan quickly lifted the prone teen from the bed, rushing to place the unconscious boy underneath the flowing water.</p>
<p>Shepard slowly began to stir as the water rushed over him. </p>
<p>"Baby Boy, talk to me, eh," Ryan begged as he gently slapped Shepard on the cheek.</p>
<p>"What happened?" Shepard mumbled in confusion, causing both Ryan and Alex to sigh in relief.</p>
<p>"Thank god! You weren't breathing right. We couldn't get you to wake up," Ryan explained.</p>
<p>"I—I'm okay now," Shepard assured the two men as he tried to stand.</p>
<p>"Take it easy, blue-eyes," Alex scolded as he turned the water off and helped the wobbly boy out of the shower.</p>
<p>"My jeans are soaked," Shepard whined as he slowly unbuttoned his jeans and tried to remove them.</p>
<p>"Let me help you, J," Ryan offered as he assisted Shepard.</p>
<p>"I'll go get him a pair of sweats," Alex said as he turned to leave.</p>
<p>"Don't bother. I'm tired as fuck. I'm just gonna sleep anyway," Shepard explained as he staggered to the bed.</p>
<p>"J, baby, you can't sleep now. We have to figure out what's going on," Ryan pleaded.</p>
<p>"Ain't nothin' goin' on. I feel fine," Shepard insisted as he crawled onto the bed.</p>
<p>"J, how much did you drink tonight?" Alex asked firmly.</p>
<p>"I dunno. A lot, I guess. But I ain't wasted," Shepard said as he curled onto his side. "I'm just tired."</p>
<p>"Baby Boy, please try to stay awake— just for a few more hours, eh," Ryan suggested.</p>
<p>"I'm tired, Walker. I just wanna sleep," Shepard insisted.</p>
<p>"J, did you have a seizure?" Ryan asked in concern.</p>
<p>"I didn't have no seizure," Shepard argued as he closed his eyes to sleep.</p>
<p>"Baby Boy, I really think you had a seizure. You're too tired. That's a sign of seizure activity," Ryan explained, hoping Shepard would agree to stay awake for just a little longer.</p>
<p>"I didn't have a goddamn seizure! Now leave me the fuck alone and let me sleep," Shepard growled.</p>
<p>"Ry, baby, I think we should let him sleep. We'll stay up and watch over him if we have to," Alex said as he rubbed Ryan's back gently.</p>
<p>"I think he drank too much and had a seizure on top of it," Ryan surmised as he gently stroked Shepard's damp dark-blonde hair.</p>
<p>"That's most likely what happened, but he isn't going to admit it. It would keep him from playing on Tuesday. We both know he'd rather die than miss a game," Alex replied honestly.</p>
<p>"Yeah. J's the most stubborn creature there is," Ryan admitted with an amused smile.</p>
<p>"We'll watch over him. He'll be fine," Alex assured his lover as he made himself comfortable on the other side of the bed.</p>
<p>"I'll take first watch, babe," Ryan insisted as he took his place on the side of the bed.</p>
<p>"He's going to be fine, Ry. He always is," Alex reassured his love.</p>
<p>"I hope so. I don't think I could stand to lose him too," Ryan admitted sadly, as he kissed the young blue-eyed blonde softly on the temple— all the while, praying for his best friend's health.</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Monday evening—</b>
</p>
<p>"So, are you ready for the first game of the season?" Garrus asked with a grin as he took a drink from his water bottle.</p>
<p>"I guess so," Shepard shrugged as he wiped the sweat from his brow. "I'm kinda worried about how we'll do as a team. I hope we gel, but I ain't holding my breath. Jake fucking despises me. I'm afraid he and his little buddies won't fucking listen to me, and I'll have to pick up the slack for 'em again. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind doing it if they're doing their best, but these fuckers are so goddamn lazy."</p>
<p>"I hear you," Garrus said sympathetically, "I'll help all I can."</p>
<p>"I know," Shepard grinned as he took a swig of his water.</p>
<p>"Shepard and Vakarian— you're up," Zaeed called out as he motioned for the two boys to return to the ice.</p>
<p>Shepard and Garrus never said another word as they returned to their place on the ice.</p>
<p>Practise was long and brutal, with Coach Massani pushing the boys harder than usual— doing his best to prepare them for their very first game of the season.</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>"I'm calling time," Zaeed announced as he instructed his players to hit the showers.</p>
<p>Once the team finished with their showers, they were given specific instructions for each member to follow—</p>
<p>"Pre-game warm-up begins at 1 p.m.— don't be late," Zaeed warned as he dismissed them for the day.</p>
<p>"So, what do you think their chances are?" Jack asked her father as she playfully slapped him on the back.</p>
<p>"With Shepard— pretty goddamn good," Zaeed admitted, "That boy's something special— I've never seen better."</p>
<p>"Do you think he's got a chance at getting scouted to the NHL?" Jack asked curiously.</p>
<p>"Pretty goddamn good, unless his health becomes an issue," Zaeed answered truthfully.</p>
<p>"You really think that could happen?" Jack asked solemnly.</p>
<p>"Yeah. It's a possibility. It'd be a goddamn shame if it happened, though," Zaeed admitted as he turned his attention to his daughter, "Are you ready to get the hell outta here. I'm starving."</p>
<p>"Yep. So, where are we eating?" Jack asked as she followed her father out of the building. </p>
<p>"I was thinking Thai food," Zaeed said with a grin.</p>
<p>"Sounds good— but you're buying, Pops," Jack grinned as she made her way to the car.</p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next Chapter:  First game of the season—</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. That's Game</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The first game of the season— Shepard is reunited with the first mother he ever knew—</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>***WARNING***<br/>GRAPHIC SEXUAL CONTENT</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Tuesday afternoon:  Game Day—</b>
</p><p>"David, I'm going to go pick Hailey up and meet you at the rink," Kahlee informed her fiancé as she collected her purse and keys. "Are you sure you'll be able to watch the entire game? I know you're on night shift tonight."</p><p>"It shouldn't be a problem unless it goes into overtime," Anderson assured his worried love. "John will probably hang out with the boys after the game. So, don't be surprised if he doesn't want to come straight home."</p><p>"I know— but I wish he <b>would</b> come home. He seems so tired lately. I think it would do him some good to come home and relax after the game," Kahlee said, her voice full of concern for her son.</p><p>"Kahlee, promise me you won't push the notion. If he says he's staying with his friends, then just let him— please. There's no sense upsetting him," Anderson pleaded.</p><p>"I promise, David. We should get going. Hailey and I might be just a few minutes late. I have to stop and get her something to eat," Kahlee explained. "Wish John luck for us and give him a kiss for me."</p><p>"Will do, love," Anderson grinned in amusement as he locked the front door. "I'll see you at the game. Drive safe!"</p><p>"Will do. Love you, honey," Kahlee called out as she pulled out of the driveway.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"The game's about to start," Zaeed announced as he spoke to his players one last time before they took the ice. "Listen to Shepard. If he tells you to do something, then you better goddamn do it. He's your Captain, and you don't have to like him, but you damn well better respect him. Now, go out there and do your goddamn job!"</p><p>The players took their place on the ice, and before long, the game was underway—</p><p>"How's it going out there?" Jack asked her father as she took her place by his side.</p><p>"Pretty goddamn good," Zaeed announced with a grin. "It could be a helluva lot better, though."</p><p>"Whattaya mean?" Jack asked in confusion.</p><p>"They're still not listening to Shepard. He's been having to do twice the work all goddamn night. That'll work against these piss-poor teams, but against an elite team— they'll be fucked," Zaeed explained.</p><p>"I take it you've been screaming your head off at them— telling them to straighten the fuck up," Jack surmised with a grin.</p><p>"All goddamn night. I'm gonna lose my voice if I'm not careful," Zaeed admitted as he rubbed his throat in irritation.</p><p>"Looks like a ton of people showed up to watch. That ain't normal, is it," Jack asked curiously.</p><p>"No, but I've been posting some highlights of our scrimmages, and it seems to have piqued the interest of the people," Zaeed said with a sneaky grin.</p><p>"They're here to see Shepard?" Jack asked with a grin.</p><p>"Yep. And hopefully, they'll take notice of a few other players as well. Shepard's the best, but Vakarian and Miller aren't bad either," Zaeed admitted with a shrug.</p><p>"Yeah. You got an eye for talent, Pops. I always said you shoulda been a scout for the NHL," Jack praised with a grin.</p><p>"Fuck that! I should be a goddamn head coach," Zaeed grinned as he winked playfully at his daughter.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"So, your name is Shepard," Jin grinned, talking to himself as he continued to study the young blue-eyed hockey player. "Kai is not going to like you. You play like a goddamn demon."</p><p>Jin immediately began to record Shepard's performance—</p><p>'You and I— we are destined to meet again. You'll see, Shepard. You can't elude me forever,' Jin thought to himself, licking his lips in anticipation of meeting Shepard again.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"How's he doing?" Kahlee asked as she took a seat beside her fiancé. </p><p>"He's playing great! He's really hitting his stride. I wish some of his teammates would try to assist him a bit more— but other than that, he's shining tonight," Anderson grinned, proud of his son.</p><p>"He's going to be so tired tonight," Kahlee thought aloud as she watched him assist Garrus with a goal. "That's my son!"</p><p>"Yay, Loco," Hailey called out, clapping her tiny hands in approval. "Look, Ryan— Loco's so good!"</p><p>"Yes, he is, Princess! He's showing them all how it's done," Ryan grinned, cheering on his best friend. "So, Alex, what do you think of Baby Boy's talent on the ice?"</p><p>"He's incredible. How the hell does he know where the puck is without seeing it?" Alex asked, cocking his head in confusion.</p><p>"I have no idea. I've asked myself that same question for years. J's just that goddamn good," Ryan praised as he continued to watch his beloved friend.</p><p>
  <span>"It's a gift for sure. Little J's all grown up. I'm so proud of him," Andrew said with a melancholic smile. "Thanks for inviting me, Ryan."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's what J wanted. He loves you, yeah. You're family," Ryan insisted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"True enough," Andrew chuckled, "I think I'll bring Allie next time. She's been wanting to see J play for a while now."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You should definitely bring her," Ryan agreed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"J's doing great, but they're really pushing him out there," Andrew said in a concerned voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm with you, Andrew— they need to let him rest a bit," Kahlee said sympathetically,  as she watched the sweat pour off her son's face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I agree with you both. It's time for a shift change. I think Shepard has done more than enough," Anderson said in concern for his son's health.</span>
</p><p>"Excuse me, but did I hear you correctly? Did you say 'Shepard'?" An amber-haired woman with warm hazel eyes asked curiously.</p><p>"Yes. Yes, I did. He's our son— number 7— the forward centre," Anderson replied, pointing him out on the ice.</p><p>"He's your son?" The woman asked curiously, a strange twinkle in her eye as she smiled.</p><p>"Yes, he is, and we couldn't be prouder," Kahlee insisted with a smile.</p><p>"He's quite an exceptional young man," the amber-haired woman smiled— fondly— as she spoke.</p><p>"That he is," Anderson agreed as Shepard scored another goal. "That's my boy!"</p><p>"Shepard—" The amber-haired lady smiled.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>The game finally ended, and it was no surprise when Shepard's team won—</p><p>"That was a great first game," Jake grinned as he started taking off his gear.</p><p>"What are you bragging about? You didn't do jack! Shepard had to cover your side all damn night," Paul snapped as he removed his chest piece.</p><p>"Miller's right," Zaeed called out, causing the locker room to become silent. "What the hell were you thinking? Shepard told you several times to get closer to the net, and what did you do? You just stood there like a goddamn zombie."</p><p>"Coach, nobody wants to listen to anything Shepard says. He's a prick," Jake whined.</p><p>"I don't give a fuck what you think! He's your Captain, and you will respect him," Zaeed demanded. "He carried your sorry arse all night. He completed more shifts than any of you, and he hasn't said a goddamn word— not one complaint. So, suck it up, Jake. Get over yourself and do your goddamn job. Now, all of you hit the showers and get the fuck out of here. Practise starts at noon tomorrow. Don't be late."</p><p>The locker room remained eerily quiet as the team quietly showered and dressed.</p><p>"You ready to go, Loco," James asked quietly, as Shepard gathered his hockey bag.</p><p>Shepard just nodded as he followed Garrus and James from the room.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"There's my baby," Kahlee called out as she hugged her son tight.</p><p>"Good game, Son," Anderson praised as he shook his son's hand before hugging him tightly.</p><p>"You did great, Loco," Hailey praised as she tugged on his t-shirt.</p><p>"Thanks, Hailey," Shepard grinned as he picked up his little sister and kissed her on the cheek.</p><p>"You look exhausted, Baby Boy," Ryan said as he gently rubbed Shepard's back.</p><p>"Ah— I'm alright," Shepard assured his friend with a wink.</p><p>"I have to say— I was impressed," Alex admitted truthfully.</p><p>
  <span>"I'm proud of you, son," Andrew grinned as he hugged Shepard tight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm glad you guys could come," Shepard smiled gratefully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I had to see at least one game before I left for Ontario," Ryan insisted with a grin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I appreciate it, Walker," Shepard grinned with a wink.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Are you coming home with us, or are you staying behind?" Kahlee asked as she took Hailey from Shepard's arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm gonna hang back," Shepard said with a shrug. "I kinda need the air."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We understand," Anderson nodded as he hugged his son goodbye. "Don't stay out too long."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I won't," Shepard promised as he kissed his mother and sister goodbye. "Drive safe. Love you guys."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, I better be on my way too," Andrew sighed as he hugged his would-be son before kissing his forehead. "I love you, J."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I love you too, Andrew. Be safe, yeah," Shepard said with a smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Always," Andrew grinned as he got into his car.</span>
</p><p>"We better get going too," Ryan said with a pout. "I gotta pack, and Alex is willing to help."</p><p>"Really? You hate packing," Shepard reminded Alex with an amused grin.</p><p>"I do, but I'm willing to do anything for my baby," Alex admitted truthfully.</p><p>"Aw— he's so good to me," Ryan laughed as he hugged Shepard goodbye. "I'll see you tomorrow. I gotta get my farewell kiss, after all."</p><p>"Damn right, you do," Shepard agreed as he kissed his friend lightly on the lips before doing the same to Alex. "Be safe! Text me when you get home. Love you guys."</p><p>"We love you too, Baby Boy," Ryan called out as he and Alex made their way to their car.</p><p>Shepard waved as they pulled out of the parking lot—</p><p>"Shepard," the familiar voice of a woman called out, causing Shepard to freeze in his tracks— eyes wide in shock.</p><p>"Mommy," Shepard whispered as he closed his eyes—</p><p>Images flashed through the young blonde's mind. Images of a tiny blue-eyed boy and a kind amber-haired woman with warm hazel eyes. Images of his first time on the ice— of his first hockey game— and finally, of the lady's face covered in tears as little Shepard was taken from her arms.</p><p>'It can't be,' Shepard thought as a tear ran down his cheek. 'She isn't real, is she? I made her up, right. She was just a thought in my head— RIGHT!?'</p><p><em> 'No, Shepard. She ain't fake. She's real. That's Bakara— the first woman you ever called Mommy,' </em>the voice explained as Shepard slowly opened his eyes.</p><p>"Mommy," Shepard called out, causing Bakara to hug him tightly.</p><p>"Shepard! Look at you! My baby's gotten so big," Bakara said as the tears fell from her hazel eyes.</p><p>"I can't believe it's you! I used to think I made you up— that you were just a figment of my imagination," Shepard explained nervously.</p><p>"No, baby, I'm not a figment of your imagination. I'm real. I tried to find you, but once the Stevensons took you in— I lost all access to you. Tell me, baby, how did you end up here? Why aren't you still with the Stevensons?"</p><p>"It's a long story. They kept me for a few years, but then Dani got pregnant, and they couldn't afford two kids, so they sent me back," Shepard explained as best he could.</p><p>"I've been so worried about you. I was so afraid you would end up hurt. But, you're adopted now, right, baby?" Bakara asked, hoping her baby was finally happy.</p><p>"Um— yeah. Anderson adopted me about a year ago. He's a good man and a hell of a father. His fiancée Kahlee is a great mom. I have a little sister too. Everything's good," Shepard assured Bakara with a smile.</p><p>"I saw the game. You haven't lost any of your talent— if anything, you've gotten better," Bakara smiled.</p><p>"W—would you like to come get something to eat with me? I'll pay," Shepard offered nervously.</p><p>Bakara smiled warmly at the blue-eyed blonde, still as proud of him as she ever was. "I'd love to, baby."</p><p>"Do you mind if we walk? I was so excited to see you that I totally forgot that I didn't drive here," Shepard admitted sheepishly. "I came with my friends."</p><p>"I drove. We can take my car if you'd like," Bakara assured the nervous teen.</p><p>"That sounds good. Let me just tell my friends what's going on. I'll be right back," Shepard assured the amber-haired lady as he made his way over to Garrus's car.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Twenty minutes later—</b>
</p><p>"Were you in the system this whole time?" Bakara asked curiously.</p><p>"Um— No. I was in a few foster homes. None of them ever worked out," Shepard shrugged as the waiter placed their food on the table.</p><p>"How many homes— if you don't mind me asking," Bakara asked in a concerned tone.</p><p>"A few," Shepard grinned as he took a bite of his food. </p><p>"A few, huh," Bakara repeated in an amused tone. </p><p>"You know how I am. I don't do good with people. Most people think I'm cold, and they ain't wrong. I just ain't a model kid, ya know," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p><p>"Shepard, you are not cold. You are the warmest person I know. Would a cold person have offered to take me to dinner?" Bakara asked seriously.</p><p>"I dunno. I <b>know </b>you. It ain't the same," Shepard explained.</p><p>"That just means you take longer to trust people. That doesn't mean you're cold. It means you're cautious," Bakara corrected the blue-eyed teen.</p><p>"Maybe," Shepard shrugged as he took a drink of his water. "How's Rose?"</p><p>"She's doing well. She's still working as hard as ever. I still work, but I mostly deal with paperwork," Bakara replied as she continued with her meal, "When I lost you, I lost the will to deal with people."</p><p>"I'm sorry," Shepard sadly apologized.</p><p>"It wasn't your fault, baby," Bakara assured him as she squeezed his hand in assurance. "Did you have any trouble with the families you were placed with?"</p><p>"Uh— No. Everything was fine. It just never worked out," Shepard lied, bouncing his knee nervously.</p><p>"Uh-huh," Bakara said, doubting the truth of the boy's words.</p><p>"Baby, where did you get that scar?" Bakara asked, motioning to the crescent-shaped scar near his hairline.</p><p>"A mirror broke, and I was sitting underneath it," Shepard half-explained. "It happened a long time ago. I was eleven— well, I was almost twelve when it happened."</p><p>"How on Earth did that happen?" Bakara asked, genuinely interested in what had happened to the young man.</p><p>"Ah, it was an accident," Shepard lied as he continued to bounce his knee nervously. "I have a lot of accidents."</p><p>"You were very accident-prone as a child," Bakara remembered with a fond smile.</p><p>"Yeah, I guess I never quite grew out of it," Shepard grinned.</p><p>
  <b>BEEP— BEEP— BEEP—</b>
</p><p>Shepard's phone chimed— his evening reminder to take his medication—</p><p>"Fuck," Shepard mumbled as he turned off the reminder.</p><p>"I guess some things never change," Bakara chuckled, amused by the familiarity of Shepard's colourful language.</p><p>"Huh?" Shepard asked in confusion.</p><p>"It's nothing, baby," Bakara assured the young blonde as he fidgeted nervously. "Is something wrong?"</p><p>"I— Do you mind if I take my medication?" Shepard asked quietly, obviously embarrassed by the situation.</p><p>"Of course not, baby," Bakara smiled.</p><p>"Appreciated," Shepard smiled as he removed a few pill bottles from his jacket.</p><p>Bakara watched him carefully as the teen quickly took the medication.</p><p>"Are you ill, baby?" Bakara asked in concern.</p><p>"Um— I had an accident a few months back. I got hit by a car. It— um— it fractured my skull. I take medicine so I won't have seizures. It works really good, though. So— I don't mind," Shepard explained, purposefully leaving the psych meds out of the conversation.</p><p>"Is it serious?" Bakara asked, worry evident in her tone.</p><p>"Nah. As long as I take my meds— I'm good," Shepard assured her.</p><p>"Your hair has gotten darker. It's still blonde, but much darker," Bakara mused as she studied the young man's face.</p><p>"Yeah. It gets lighter in the sun," Shepard admitted as he ran a nervous left hand through his hair.</p><p>"It's still beautiful," Bakara smiled, "Your eyes are still as impossibly blue as ever, though."</p><p>"Yeah. I guess that'll never change, huh," Shepard smiled as he finished off his meal.</p><p>"Probably not. You haven't really changed all that much. I could still see my tiny little baby when I looked in your eyes," Bakara said wistfully.</p><p>"Yeah. But, I ain't so little anymore," Shepard grinned in amusement.</p><p>"No, you are not, and that is a fact. I never thought you'd get so tall. You were so very tiny," Bakara mused, shaking her head in amusement.</p><p>"Yeah. I was super tiny for a really long time— right up until I was about nine years old," Shepard admitted truthfully, "Once I hit nine, I just started growing like a motherfucker. Oh, I'm sorry! My language— I ain't got no filter. My brain can't seem to stop those words from leaving my mouth."</p><p>"It's fine, baby. I understand," Bakara assured the blue-eyed teen.</p><p><em> 'Same old Bakara,' </em>the voice laughed in amusement.</p><p>"Same old Mommy," Shepard smiled as he accidentally thought aloud.</p><p>"I'm surprised you still call me Mommy," Bakara admitted truthfully.</p><p>"Why? I mean— I love my new mom, Kahlee's great— but you'll always be a Mommy to me. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be who I am today. And I'm grateful to you. I like who I am," Shepard explained nervously. </p><p>"I was so afraid you'd hate me. I know I let you down, baby. But there wasn't anything I could do. Believe me, I tried— but in the end— I lost you. Can you forgive me, baby?" Bakara asked with tears in her eyes.</p><p>"There ain't nothin' to forgive. I made it. I'm alive and still breathing. You don't gotta worry no more, Mommy," Shepard assured Bakara with a smile, "I love you, you know that, right? I never stopped loving you, even when I thought I made you up— I still loved you. I'll always love you."</p><p>"I love you too, baby. More than you'll ever know," Bakara replied with tears in her eyes.</p><p>The two continued to talk for another twenty minutes, taking their time— getting to know one another—</p><p>"I'll pay," Shepard assured Bakara as he took some colourful bills from his wallet.</p><p>"Thank you, baby," Bakara smiled as she let Shepard lead her out of the restaurant.</p><p>"Did you like your meal," Shepard asked quietly, as he led Bakara to her car.</p><p>"Very much so," Bakara assured the blue-eyed blonde. "Do you want me to drive you home, baby?"</p><p>"Nah, that's okay. I like to walk, and it's not far from here. I had a good time. Do you mind if I give you my number and my address? That way, we can keep in touch— if you want to, that is," Shepard offered nervously.</p><p>"I would like that very much, baby," Bakara agreed with a smile as she handed Shepard her cell phone, "Can you add your number to my phone?" </p><p>"Sure. I'm adding my address too. Feel free to stop by whenever you want," Shepard said as he handed her back her phone.</p><p>"I'll be sure to stop by often, baby," Bakara promised. "I'm proud of you, Shepard."</p><p>"Thanks. It means a lot, Mommy," Shepard whispered as they hugged each other farewell. "I'll see you soon, yeah."</p><p>"I promise, baby," Bakara smiled as she blew him a kiss before getting into her car.</p><p>Shepard waved as he watched Bakara fade from sight.</p><p>"See you soon, Mommy," Shepard whispered aloud as he began the long walk home.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>Shepard's phone started to vibrate when he was halfway home—</p><p>"Kaidan," Shepard grinned as he opened the text.</p><p>– <b>Kaidan:</b>  "I saw the game. You were incredible! I was going to stick around to see you, but you had your family with you— and I didn't want to interrupt. Are you home?" –</p><p>– <b>Shepard:  </b>"Thanks for the compliment. You didn't have to leave. I woulda made time for you, K. I ain't home yet. I'm about halfway there. I'm close to Shaughnessy. If you want, I can come, meet you somewhere."</p><p><em> 'Are you seriously thinking of walking all the way to Shaughnessy? Are you fucking crazy?' </em>The voice asked in annoyance.</p><p>"I can't help it! I wanna fuck! And there ain't nobody around that I can hook up with," Shepard explained aloud, pouting at the voice in his head.</p><p><em> 'Shepard, all you ever get from Kaidan is bruised knees. He says he wants to fuck, but he never follows through. You end up sucking his dick while he watches you masturbate. It ain't fair!' </em>The voice complained truthfully.</p><p>"Yeah, but what if tonight is the night he really wants to fuck?" Shepard asked aloud.</p><p><em> 'Hn. We'll see,' </em>the voice huffed.</p><p>– <b>Kaidan:  </b>"I can't. I really want to, but I have to finish my paper. I'll be over to tutor you tomorrow evening. I can meet you after practise if you want."</p><p>"Goddammit! He can't come, which means I can't cum," Shepard growled in annoyance as he texted the brunette teen back.</p><p>– <b>Shepard:  </b>"That sucks! I really wanted to see you. I'd love for you to meet me after practise— we can take our time going home."</p><p>– <b>Kaidan:  </b>"You are a very suggestive guy. I can't wait to see you. I'll text you later tonight after my paper's finished."</p><p>– <b>Shepard:  </b>"I'm looking forward to it!"</p><p>"I guess I'll just keep heading home," Shepard sighed as he put his phone away.</p><p>He made it to the end of the block when he ran into a familiar face—</p><p>"Well, well— if it isn't the gorgeous blonde with the intense blue eyes," Jin greeted as he blocked Shepard's path.</p><p>"I remember you," Shepard said in an unamused tone.</p><p>"I watched your game earlier. You are one great hockey player, SHEPARD," Jin grinned, being sure to emphasize the name.</p><p>Shepard rolled his eyes in annoyance. "You learned my name— good for you. Now, what the fuck do you want?"</p><p>"A bit grouchy this evening, aren't you," Jin teased as he walked closer to the blonde-haired teen.</p><p>"What can I say— I'm a goddamn bastard. Now, if you don't have anything to say, please, get the fuck out of my way," Shepard instructed, growing more agitated by the second.</p><p>"You are so goddamn feisty. I like that. Look, I won't waste any more of your time— I'll just get to the point. I have a hotel room, just around the corner. Follow me if you wanna fuck."</p><p>Shepard watched silently as the young Asian man turned the corner.</p><p><em> 'Well, you did say that you wanted to fuck,' </em>the voice reminded him.</p><p>"Goddamn, rich boy," Shepard growled as he eventually followed the arrogant young man.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"There you are! I almost thought you weren't coming," Jin grinned as he motioned for Shepard to follow him into the building.</p><p>Once they were alone in the room, Shepard immediately began kissing the cocky young man.</p><p>"Off— now," Shepard demanded as he practically ripped the shirt from Jin's body.</p><p>"I fucking need this," Jin whispered as he hastily removed his clothes. </p><p>Shepard quickly followed suit, and before long, both young men were naked and wanting.</p><p>It didn't take long for Shepard to fall to his knees before the young Asian.</p><p>"You better not cum in my mouth. I mean it— if you try to pull that shit again— I swear to god I'll bite your dick off," Shepard warned as he took the young man into his mouth.</p><p>"I don't know where you learned to suck cock, but you are definitely a pro," Jin praised as he began to thoroughly fuck Shepard's throat.</p><p>It didn't take long for Jin to near his peak—</p><p>"Fuck! Stop! I'm gonna fucking cum," Jin announced as Shepard quickly pulled back and used his hand to bring the young man to completion.</p><p>"So good," Jin grinned lazily, as Shepard kissed him roughly.</p><p>"Get on the bed," Shepard instructed as he retrieved a condom from his wallet. "Do you have any lube?"</p><p>"Yeah, in my coat— inside-pocket," Jin replied as he made himself comfortable on the bed.</p><p>"Lie back," Shepard whispered as he took his place between the young man's legs. "Spread your legs a bit more."</p><p>Jin did as he was asked and was pleasantly surprised by the gentleness of Shepard's touch.</p><p>"I didn't know you could be so considerate. It feels good," Jin admitted as he stroked himself in time with Shepard's fingers. "Your fingers are so long— they feel so good inside me."</p><p>Shepard never said a word— he just continued preparing the young man until he was satisfied he was stretched enough.</p><p>"Let me know if I hurt you," Shepard said as he lifted the young man's legs— slowly entering him in the process.</p><p>"Oh, god! I'd almost forgotten how big you are," Jin whined as Shepard stilled within him.</p><p>"You need to relax," Shepard whispered as he gently rubbed the muscles of Jin's abdomen— trying his best to soothe the young man beneath him.</p><p>Jin couldn't help but smile at the man above him.</p><p>"I—I'm fine. You can move again," Jin whispered as he touched the side of Shepard's face gently.</p><p>"You sure," Shepard asked, studying the man's face before gently thrusting a little further.</p><p>"Yes— I—it's good," Jin gasped as Shepard continued his entry.</p><p>Before long, Shepard was fully seated inside of the young man—</p><p>"Let me know when you're ready," Shepard whispered as he continued to study his partner's face.</p><p>"I—I'm ready," Jin replied with a nod as Shepard began to move slowly, gradually gaining speed until he was properly fucking the young man.</p><p>"You're tight— feels good," Shepard admitted as he angled his hips in search of the spot he knew would drive his partner insane.</p><p>"FUCK! I'm gonna cum if you keep doing that," Jin cried out, making Shepard grin wickedly as he continued to assault that spot deep within his young partner.</p><p>Jin could feel the grin and the feel of Shepard's breath, hot against his neck as the blue-eyed blonde continued to give his partner all he had.</p><p>"Cum for me," Shepard whispered in the young man's ear, and that was all it took—</p><p>Jin's young body drew tight as his cock began to spasm, erupting violently against his toned abdomen. </p><p>Shepard just laughed as he continued to chase his own release. </p><p>"I'm close," Shepard whispered as his thrusts became increasingly more violent— each thrust going deeper than the last.</p><p>"I—I can't— It's too much," Jin whined as his cock began to stir once more.</p><p>"You gonna cum again," Shepard asked in disbelief and slight amusement.</p><p>"I—I can't! Please—" Jin pleaded as his whole body shook from the intensity— his oversensitized body screaming in both pleasure and pain.</p><p>Shepard's body finally found its release as he came with a quiet grunt. His body shuddered as he continued to cum until his body was finally spent.</p><p>Shepard collapsed atop his young partner. He took a few breaths before gently rolling off to the side.</p><p>"Are you alright," Shepard asked quietly, as he disposed of the condom.</p><p>"I— I—I'm hard again. That's never happened," Jin admitted as he wiped the moisture from his eyes before covering them with his arm.</p><p>"You didn't take any of that Viagra shit, did you?" Shepard asked in concern.</p><p>"No— It's the way you were fucking me. You overstimulated me," Jin admitted.</p><p>"Did I hurt you?" Shepard asked, brow furrowed in concern.</p><p>"No— I'll be fine. I might have to cum again, though. My dick is painfully hard," Jin admitted, jumping in surprise when he felt Shepard's hot mouth on his sex. "What?"</p><p>Jin watched in fascination as Shepard took him deep within his throat. It didn't take long until Jin was ready to cum for the third time that night—</p><p>"Stop! I'm gonna cum," Jin whined as he tried to push Shepard off his sex.</p><p>Shepard just hummed as he continued to swallow the young man's length— the contractions of his throat— along with the tightness— proving too much for Jin to handle. Jin came violently, deep into Shepard's throat.</p><p>Shepard said nothing— he just swallowed all that Jin had given him before gently removing Jin's now flaccid cock from his mouth.</p><p>"Why did you—" Jin asked in confusion.</p><p>"I owed you that. You were painfully uncomfortable because of me. Now, we're even," Shepard shrugged as he moved to collect his clothing.</p><p>"You are such a strange man. Tonight was so different from that first night. Don't get me wrong, it was still great— hell, it was probably even better— but—" Jin left the word hanging in the air as if he was trying to figure out a way to state how he felt.</p><p>"But?" Shepard asked curiously as he slowly buttoned his jeans. </p><p>"Well, you were different. It was like being with a different man. You were caring, almost gentle," Jin tried desperately to explain. "It was nice. I enjoyed it very much."</p><p>"Look, don't try to read too much into it. I'm a moody motherfucker. You just caught me on a good day," Shepard admitted as he pulled his shirt over his head. </p><p>"I think I'd like to see all your moods," Jin grinned as he rose from the bed to kiss the blue-eyed beauty.</p><p>"I don't think you'd like that," Shepard replied as he removed the young man's arms from his neck.</p><p>"Oh— Why not?" Jin asked curiously.</p><p>"Because I ain't normal. My head ain't right. Besides, I ain't interested," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p><p>"Why not? What are you scared of?" Jin asked curiously.</p><p>Shepard just shook his head in frustration. </p><p>"Talk to me," Jin demanded.</p><p>"I ain't scared. I just ain't interested. Look, you seem like an okay guy— I just don't want a relationship," Shepard explained truthfully.</p><p>"It's because I'm not from the DTES, isn't it," Jin asked in a disappointed voice.</p><p>"NO! It ain't got nothin' to do with where you're from! Why aren't you hearing me!? I AIN'T INTERESTED IN A RELATIONSHIP! If you can't handle casual sex, then don't proposition me again," Shepard yelled as he put on his leather jacket before heading for the door.</p><p>"Wait! If casual sex is what you're into— I can handle that. So, please, let me give you my number. We can hook up whenever you're interested," Jin pleaded.</p><p>Shepard chewed his lip nervously before making a decision—</p><p>"Gimme your phone. I'll add my number. You can add yours to mine," Shepard suggested as they took each other's phones.</p><p>"You won't regret it," Jin grinned happily.</p><p>"I can't promise I'll show up whenever you call or text. I'm a busy guy, and I ain't got a lot of time," Shepard informed the young man.</p><p>"Understood," Jin nodded. </p><p>"I gotta get going. Later," Shepard waved as he opened the door.</p><p>"Wait!" Jin called out loudly.</p><p>"Huh?" Shepard asked in confusion.</p><p>Jin said nothing— he just kissed Shepard languidly.</p><p>"See you around, wild boy," Jin grinned as Shepard exited the room.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p><em> 'So— you got another fuck buddy,' </em>the voice asked in amusement.</p><p>"I guess. I don't think I'll be seeing him much. He really ain't what I usually look for in a fuck buddy," Shepard admitted as he walked in the direction of home.</p><p><em> 'Yeah. You like to get fucked some too, and so far, this guy seems to be a full-on bottom,' </em> the voice agreed. <em> 'I'll bet you still got that itch.' </em></p><p>"I do! And it's fucking annoying! The sex was good, but it wasn't what I fucking needed," Shepard admitted truthfully, "I love to top, but I also love to bottom— So, now— even though I got laid— I'm still fucking frustrated. I really wish Kaidan would fuck me."</p><p><em> 'Yeah— Me too,' </em> the voice said sympathetically, <em> 'I feel like it would do wonders for your mood.' </em></p><p>"You think," Shepard laughed as he continued on his way.</p><p>
  <em> 'Good luck, Shepard. I feel like you're gonna need it—' </em>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next Chapter:  Kahlee gets sentimental as she looks at some old photos of her son—</p><p>I just had to have Shepard and Bakara meet once more. I couldn't resist. I hope you are enjoying the story so far. Thanks for reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Photographs</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Kahlee gets sentimental when she sees photos of Shepard as a child—</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Shepard woke a little later than usual. Still exhausted from the previous day's activities— he slowly dressed before making his way to the kitchen.</p><p>"Hey," Anderson greeted his son with a smile as he took a sip of his coffee.</p><p>"Hey," Shepard replied back as he poured himself a cup of coffee before taking a seat next to his father. "Where's Mom and Hailey?"</p><p>"They've already left. You're running a bit late, Son," Anderson explained with a sympathetic look.</p><p>"How late am I? Did I miss the bus?" Shepard asked nervously.</p><p>"Yeah. You missed it by about fifteen minutes now," Anderson said as he checked his watch for certainty.</p><p>"Goddammit," Shepard groaned as he rubbed his face hard in frustration.</p><p>"Do you want me to drop you off, or do you want to take a day and visit Doctor Smith?" Anderson asked casually.</p><p>"Why the hell would I want to see Doctor Smith?" Shepard asked in confusion. "I ain't feeling strange or nothin' like that."</p><p>"Son, it's time for your shot. Don't you remember?" Anderson asked quietly.</p><p>"Are you sure? I added the date to my phone. The reminder never popped up. See— it's right—" Shepard's brow furrowed in confusion as he noticed the blank calendar. "I could have sworn I added it in."</p><p>"It's okay, Son. You just forgot to type it in. It's bound to happen sometimes. I told your mother I'd take you. So, are you ready to head out?" Anderson asked as he finished off his coffee.</p><p>"Uh— yeah. What about my classes? What do I do about the assignments?" Shepard asked, anxiously, as he put on his jacket.</p><p>"Your mother picked up your assignments yesterday. You can work on them when you get back from your appointment," Anderson explained as he led his son to the door.</p><p>"Mom comes through again," Shepard smiled fondly. "Remind me to thank her when she comes home."</p><p>"Will do," Anderson laughed as they made their way to the car.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"How are you feeling today?" Michael asked as he prepared Shepard for the injection.</p><p>"I'm alright— just tired. Last night's game wore me out," Shepard admitted.</p><p>"I'm not surprised. You worked your ass off most of the night. Pulling two shifts in a row— in each period— with little to no rest— it takes its toll, doesn't it," Michael said as he quickly injected the medication.</p><p>"You watched the game?" Shepard asked curiously.</p><p>"I did. You were very impressive," the doctor grinned as he disposed of the used needle.</p><p>"Thanks," Shepard smiled as he adjusted his shirt.</p><p>"So— are you looking forward to your parents' wedding?" Michael asked with a grin.</p><p>"I was, but now I'm not so sure," Shepard admitted nervously.</p><p>"What's changed? Are you arguing with your mother again?" Michael asked seriously.</p><p>"Ah, I always argue with Mom. She don't understand me and probably never will. I'm okay with that, though. Nah, I just don't wanna go to no wedding," Shepard shrugged.</p><p>"Why not? I figured you would be excited to see your parents finally tie the knot," Michael said, confused by his young patient's train of thought.</p><p>"I'm happy for them. It's great, but— I just don't think I'll be a very good guest. I don't wanna ruin their day, ya know what I mean," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p><p>"I see. Why do you feel that way? Is it because of what happened at your sister's birthday party?" Michael asked curiously.</p><p>"No. It's nothing like that. It's just— Andrew brought me some of Aaron's things— things he thought I should have. He showed me a video— a conversation he had with Aaron. Aaron was gonna ask me to marry him. Andrew talked him into waiting. So— yeah, I don't really feel like attending a wedding right now. I'm afraid it'll break me— and I really can't break right now. I ain't got time for it," Shepard explained, his voice cracking as tears threatened to fall.</p><p>Michael said nothing— he just hugged the young man tight.</p><p>"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to— I'm such a fucking pussy. I cry at the stupidest things. Hell, I cry all the goddamn time. It's fucking embarrassing," Shepard apologized as he wiped the tears from his eyes.</p><p>"Honestly, with all that you've been through, I would be more concerned if you didn't," Michael said as he rubbed the blue-eyed teen's back gently.</p><p>"Yeah," Shepard said quietly.</p><p>"If you're still feeling anxious when it's time for the wedding, call me. I'll make an appointment for you, and I'll give you something to ease your anxiety," Michael insisted. </p><p>"Yeah. I'll do that. I really don't want to fuck up their big day," Shepard said with a slight grin. "I don't look like I've been crying, do I? Daddy's pretty perceptive, and I don't wanna have to talk about this shit again— not yet anyway."</p><p>"You're fine— he'll never know. Is there anything else you need?" Michael asked with a smile.</p><p>"Yeah. Can you write me a prescription for weed? Mom accidentally found some in my room, and kinda got pissed. Daddy said he'd get you to write me a prescription, but I figured I'd go ahead and ask," Shepard explained nervously.</p><p>"Sure. How much do you usually smoke?" Michael asked as he got out his prescription pad.</p><p>"Not a lot," Shepard admitted. </p><p>"Okay," Michael replied as he handed the prescription to the young man. "Let me know if you run out, and I'll adjust the prescription."</p><p>"Thanks," Shepard nodded as he put the prescription in his pocket. "When is my next appointment?"</p><p>"Two weeks," Michael informed the young blonde.</p><p>Shepard's brow furrowed in confusion. "I thought it was every four weeks."</p><p>"It was— until we changed your dosage. It's a larger dose, so— to be safe— we changed it to every two weeks. It's perfectly normal for you to forget things from time to time. Try not to stress over it," Michael insisted, noticing the turmoil in Shepard's too-blue eyes.</p><p>"Yeah. I'll try not to," Shepard said as he made his way to the door. "I guess I'll see you in two weeks."</p><p>"Call me if you need me. You have all my numbers," Michael reminded his patient.</p><p>"Will do."</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"So, how did it go?" Anderson asked as Shepard buckled his seat belt.</p><p>"Fine. Can you type in my appointment for me? I already forgot the friggin' date and time," Shepard said in frustration as he handed the phone to his father.</p><p>"Sure," Anderson replied with a sad smile as he typed in the time and date, "There you go— all set."</p><p>"Thanks, Daddy," Shepard mumbled as he put the phone away. "I got that prescription— you know, the one you suggested I get."</p><p>"Ah— the one for weed," Anderson laughed in amusement, "Your mother still isn't pleased with that one."</p><p>"Yeah. I don't mean to piss her off— or worry her for that matter. I just ain't what she pictures when she thinks of a good son. And— that's on me. I know I should try harder, but sometimes— I'm just tired— you know," Shepard admitted as he leaned his head against the car window.</p><p>"Son, you're doing fine. Don't worry so much. Your mother will love you no matter what, so try not to dwell on it," Anderson insisted as he pulled out of the parking lot. "Are you hungry?"</p><p>"Not really," Shepard shrugged.</p><p>"You haven't eaten anything all day. Are you feeling okay? You're not feeling sick, are you?" Anderson asked anxiously.</p><p>"Nah. I'm just tired," Shepard admitted.</p><p>"You still need to eat. I'll drive-thru and pick you up something," Anderson insisted, "Do you want a burger, or chicken—"</p><p>"Chicken salad— I don't wanna piss mom off by breaking my diet," Shepard explained as he fidgeted in his seat.</p><p>"Yeah— she's pretty obsessed with your diet. It's only 'cause she cares," Anderson assured his son. "So, are you looking forward to being my best man?"</p><p>"Yeah. Of course," Shepard assured his father with a fake smile. "I'm nervous about the toast, though. I ain't good with words."</p><p>"Just say whatever you like," Anderson insisted. "You know, I'm looking forward to watching you walk down that aisle. I know it won't be for a while yet, but I'm really looking forward to it."</p><p>"I ain't never getting married," Shepard said quietly.</p><p>"Huh? What do you mean, you're never getting married? Sure, you will! I know you aren't seeing anyone right now, but that'll change," Anderson assured his son.</p><p>"It ain't that. I just ain't never getting married," Shepard insisted.</p><p>"Why?" Anderson asked sadly.</p><p>"I just ain't. It ain't something I want no more," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p><p>"But it's something you <b>did </b>want? What changed, Son?" Anderson asked quietly.</p><p>"He died," Shepard replied truthfully.</p><p>Anderson never said a word— he just focused on the road ahead.</p><p>The rest of the drive home was quiet, and it wasn't long before Anderson pulled into the drive.</p><p>"Well, we're home. Do you want me to put your salad in a bowl, or are you going to eat it from the takeout container?" Anderson asked, his eyes going wide when he looked at his son.</p><p>"The container's fine," Shepard mumbled, cocking his head to the side in confusion at the look on his father's face. "Daddy, why are you staring at me like that? Is there something on my face?"</p><p>Anderson immediately retrieved a napkin from the takeout bag, pressing it firmly to his son's nose.</p><p>"Your nose is bleeding," Anderson explained as he continued to apply pressure.</p><p>"Huh? I didn't notice," Shepard admitted, eyes going wide when he glanced down and noticed the blood on his shirt. "What the hell?"</p><p>"Are you feeling okay? You don't have a headache, do you?" Anderson asked in concern.</p><p>"I'm just tired. My head don't hurt," Shepard assured his father, "This is probably from the game last night. Maybe I got hit, or my nose got irritated from the cold air. I was on the ice for a long time."</p><p>"Maybe. I think I might need to take you to the hospital— just to be sure," Anderson suggested nervously.</p><p>"Daddy, I'm fine! It's just a simple nosebleed. See, it's already stopping," Shepard insisted as he removed the napkins for emphasis.</p><p>"Alright— but if the bleeding starts again— we are going to the ER," Anderson said sternly.</p><p>"Okay. If it starts back, we'll go. I promise, Daddy," Shepard agreed. "Can we go in now? I'm kinda getting hungry."</p><p>"Sure," Anderson smiled as he followed his son into the house.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"How was the salad?" Anderson asked with a smile.</p><p>"It was good," Shepard replied with a nod. "I better go get my gear."</p><p>"You're going to practise?" Anderson asked, his brow cocking in disapproval.</p><p>"Yeah. I don't wanna piss off Coach Massani. I'm already gonna be late," Shepard explained anxiously.</p><p>"Shepard, you're exhausted. You need to rest. I can call Zaeed and tell him you had an appointment today and won't be able to make it to practise," Anderson suggested, hoping his son would see reason.</p><p>"No, Daddy. I'm Captain of the team— I can't be missing practise," Shepard insisted. "If you don't wanna drop me off— I'll walk."</p><p>"Son, you can't walk— it's too far away," Anderson explained truthfully.</p><p>"Watch me," Shepard replied as he began walking to his room.</p><p>"Fine! You win! Go get your gear and meet me in the driveway," Anderson sighed as he gathered his keys.</p><p>"Thanks, Daddy," Shepard grinned as he rushed to collect his gear.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"Shepard, you're late," Zaeed scolded as Shepard made his way to the ice.</p><p>"Sorry about that. I had an appointment. I'll try to keep it from happening again," Shepard replied anxiously.</p><p>"See that it doesn't. We have an important game coming up. I intend to have us on the winning side of things," Zaeed insisted as he motioned for Shepard to take his place on the ice.</p><p>"You doing okay, Shepard? We weren't sure you were gonna make it," Garrus said as he slapped his friend playfully on the back.</p><p>"Yeah. I was gonna text you and James, but I kinda ran outta time," Shepard explained with a shrug.</p><p>"Where were you today? We missed you at school," Garrus asked curiously.</p><p>"I had an appointment. It's nothing, really," Shepard insisted as he waited for the next drill.</p><p>"If you say so," Garrus shrugged as they concentrated on the tasks before them.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"Nice practise," Zaeed said with a grin. "The next game's tomorrow night. We won't have time for a pre-game warm-up, so come prepared."</p><p>Once Zaeed left the locker room, Jake decided to vocalize his displeasure with Shepard's tardiness—</p><p>"You think you can make it on time, oh, great Captain," Jake said sarcastically, as he began to dress.</p><p>Shepard never said a word, choosing instead, to ignore the obnoxious young man.</p><p>"It's really discouraging, you know— to have a Captain that doesn't even bother showing up for practice on time."</p><p>"Lay off, Jake! Shepard wasn't even that late, and he more than made up for it. So— just let it go, eh," Paul scolded the arrogant teen.</p><p>"Why are you always defending him?" Jake asked, rolling his eyes in annoyance.</p><p>"Why are you always talking shit about him?" Paul retorted.</p><p>"Whatever," Jake huffed as he slammed his locker shut before exiting the locker room.</p><p>"Don't let Jake get to you. He's just a spoiled ass," Paul insisted as he gave Shepard a pat on the back. "See ya at the game, Captain."</p><p>"Thanks, Paul," Shepard said with a grateful smile as he quietly closed his locker.</p><p>Paul just gave Shepard a nod before exiting the locker room.</p><p>"You ready, Loco?" James asked as he grabbed his hockey bag.</p><p>"Yeah. Kaidan's supposed to be waiting for me," Shepard said with a grin.</p><p>"Oh, yeah," Garrus asked, disapproval evident in his voice.</p><p>"What?" Shepard asked, rolling his eyes at his friend.</p><p>"Nothing. I didn't say anything," Garrus insisted with a shrug.</p><p>"I know what I'm doing, Garrus," Shepard said, furrowing his brow in disappointment.</p><p>"Uh-huh," Garrus said as he opened the door for Shepard.</p><p>"Am I missing something?" James asked, obviously confused by the conversation.</p><p>"It's nothing, James. Don't worry about it," Shepard said with a shrug.</p><p>"Yo, Muscles— wait up," Jack called out as she ran to his side. "You wanna go grab something to eat?"</p><p>"With you— always," James grinned as he kissed the tattooed girl.</p><p>"You two dating, Jack," Shepard asked in amusement.</p><p>"Yeah. You got a problem with that?" Jack asked with a pout.</p><p>"Nope. I think it's great," Shepard admitted with a wink.</p><p>"Yeah," Jack grinned in approval.</p><p>"Yo, Loco, Kaidan's here," James announced as he pointed in the amber-eyed brunette's direction.</p><p>"Thanks, James. You guys have fun, yeah," Shepard smiled as he made his way towards Kaidan.</p><p>"Hey," Kaidan greeted Shepard with a smile. "Let me put that in the back," Kaidan insisted as he took Shepard's hockey bag and placed it in the trunk.</p><p>"I didn't know if you'd come," Shepard admitted as he took his place in the passenger's seat.</p><p>"I told you I would," Kaidan replied with an amused chuckle.</p><p>"Yeah, but I missed school," Shepard reminded his beloved friend.</p><p>"I figured you had a good reason. I knew you wouldn't miss practise. Your work ethic's too strong for that," Kaidan replied with a wink as he got into the driver's seat.</p><p>"You know me well," Shepard admitted with a chuckle.</p><p>"I'm learning," Kaidan smiled as he pulled out of the parking lot, heading towards Shepard's house.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"I'm home," Shepard called out as he and Kaidan entered the house. "Kaidan's here to tutor me."</p><p>"John, can you come here, please," Kahlee called out from the kitchen.</p><p>"What did I do now," Shepard mumbled as he made his way to the kitchen.</p><p>"A lady named Bakara stopped by to see you," Kahlee informed him with a small smile.</p><p>"Oh— I forgot to tell her my schedule," Shepard admitted with a fond smile.</p><p>"You also forgot to mention her at all. I had no idea who she was. You could have told your father and me about her. It was— awkward, to say the least," Kahlee said honestly.</p><p>"Yeah. I just assumed I'd be here when she stopped by. I'm sorry about that. Is her visiting me a problem?" Shepard asked nervously.</p><p>"No. Of course not," Kahlee insisted. "She just caught me off-guard. She's a lovely woman. We had an interesting talk."</p><p>Shepard's heart began to race. "W—what did you talk about?"</p><p>"You, mostly," Kahlee said with a shrug.</p><p>"You didn't tell her anything personal about me, did you?" Shepard asked anxiously.</p><p>"What do you mean, sweetheart?" Kahlee asked in confusion.</p><p>"Like— personal stuff. You didn't tell her that I ain't— normal, did you?" Shepard asked anxiously, afraid of what Bakara might think of him.</p><p>"No. Of course not. John, I would never do that to you," Kahlee insisted. "We mostly just talked about your love for hockey. She told me all about how beautiful you were as a baby. She even showed me a lock of your hair."</p><p>"My hair?" Shepard asked in confusion.</p><p>"Yes— your hair. She carries it with her. At first, I couldn't believe how unbelievably golden it was. But the more she spoke, the more I could imagine it. You must have been a breathtakingly, beautiful baby."</p><p>"I dunno. I don't think I've ever seen a picture of me as a baby," Shepard shrugged as he avoided his mother's sad eyes.</p><p>"She said she has a few. She's supposed to bring them over one day," Kahlee said with a smile. "She loves you very much. And, I suspect, you love her just as much."</p><p>"Well, yeah, but— I love you too. You know that, right, Mom?"</p><p>"Of course, I do," Kahlee assured her son with a smile. "I just envy her a bit."</p><p>"Why?" Shepard asked in confusion.</p><p>"She's seen you as a baby. She got to watch you grow for the first six years of your life. I've only been blessed to see you as a young man. Meeting Bakara just made me realize how much of your life I've missed," Kahlee explained sadly. "It's a foolish thought. I know."</p><p>"No. It's not," Shepard insisted. "Wait right here. I'll be back in a second."</p><p>Kahlee watched in confusion as her son disappeared into his room.</p><p>A few minutes later, Shepard returned with a large photo album.</p><p>"This was Aaron's. The first half are photographs of him— from birth until—" Shepard let the word fade on his tongue. "Anyway, the second half— they're photos of me— from the time I was six. They're not baby photos, but they're all I got," Shepard explained as he turned to the first images of himself.</p><p>"Where did you get this?" Kahlee asked in wonder.</p><p>"Andrew. He brought some of Aaron's things to me— things he thought I should have. This was included," Shepard explained nervously.</p><p>"You were so tiny," Kahlee whispered as she touched the photograph tenderly.</p><p>"Yeah. I didn't start growing until I was nine," Shepard admitted with a shrug.</p><p>"You're so beautiful," Kahlee said as a tear fell from her crystalline-blue eyes.</p><p>"I— uh— I'll leave you to it. Just let me know when you're finished," Shepard instructed with a smile. "I'm gonna go do my homework. I love you, Mom."</p><p>"I love you too, baby," Kahlee said as she hugged her son tight, kissing his cheek in appreciation. "Thank you for showing me these."</p><p>"No problem," Shepard smiled as he turned his attention to Kaidan, "We better get started, eh."</p><p>"Lead the way," Kaidan nodded in agreement.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"You really don't have any baby photos?" Kaidan asked as he sat down on the bed.</p><p>"It ain't such a strange thing for foster kids," Shepard shrugged. "Hell, I didn't even know a photo of me existed as a little kid until Andrew showed me that album."</p><p>"That just seems so sad," Kaidan admitted as he opened one of Shepard's books.</p><p>"It ain't a big deal. I don't ever think about stuff like that," Shepard admitted as he sat down beside Kaidan </p><p>"Well, once you have children, you'll probably wish you had a baby picture. Parents love comparing their photos to their kids. They like to argue about who the kid resembles the most," Kaidan explained.</p><p>"I ain't having kids, so that's a moot point," Shepard laughed in amusement.</p><p>"Why do you say that?" Kaidan asked, brow furrowed in confusion.</p><p>"I'm gay, remember. Ain't no way I'm having a kid," Shepard reminded his beloved friend.</p><p>"Shepard, gay couples have kids all the time. You know, through surrogacy," Kaidan explained in amusement.</p><p>"I know, but that just ain't for me. If— and that's a big if— I ever want a kid, I'll adopt," Shepard explained truthfully.</p><p>"What about your partner? What if they want a biological child?" Kaidan asked curiously.</p><p>"If that's the case, maybe they shouldn't be my partner. I don't think I'd ever change my mind about it," Shepard admitted.</p><p>"Seriously? What if Aaron had wanted kids?" Kaidan asked without thinking.</p><p>Shepard tensed at the question. "Why ask me that? He's gone, so why?" Shepard asked quietly, the hurt apparent in his voice.</p><p>"I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. Please, forget I said anything. What I was trying to say was that it would be a shame if your bloodline ended with you," Kaidan replied honestly.</p><p>"Kaidan, my bloodline's the very reason I don't want kids," Shepard admitted nervously.</p><p>"What do you mean?" Kaidan asked in confusion.</p><p>"It's nothing. I just— maybe one day I'll be able to explain it to you," Shepard said with an air of hopefulness in his voice.</p><p>"Do you know who your birth parents are— their names, maybe?" Kaidan asked, genuinely interested in the blue-eyed blonde.</p><p>"Um— No, not really. I glanced at my file once. They thought my mother was a girl named Hannah— but it had a question mark beside it. I don't know what the question mark meant, but it was there. There wasn't anything written for the name of the father," Shepard explained with a shrug.</p><p>"Have you ever considered looking for her?" Kaidan asked, taking Shepard's hand in his.</p><p>"No. She hates me. I know she does. There ain't no reason to cause anymore unnecessary pain. And honestly, I don't wanna know her. I know that sounds cold, but I fucking don't," Shepard replied with a bitter laugh.</p><p>"You can't know that she hates you. She must have loved you a little. She left you at a hospital after all," Kaidan reminded his beloved friend.</p><p>"Maybe," Shepard sighed, "We better concentrate on my schoolwork or we ain't gonna get nothin' done."</p><p>Kaidan laughed warmly. "True enough."</p><p>The rest of the evening went by fairly quickly, and before they knew it, it was getting late.</p><p>"It's getting pretty late. I should probably go," Kaidan said as he looked at his watch.</p><p>"And here I was, hoping to suck your cock before you left," Shepard grinned as he wrapped his arms around Kaidan's waist— before quickly moving his hands to massage the brunette's well-muscled ass.</p><p>"You are not normal," Kaidan chuckled as he kissed Shepard slowly. </p><p>"I say what I like," Shepard shrugged as he bit the delicate skin of Kaidan's neck.</p><p>"Please, don't give me another hickey," Kaidan pleaded with a slight moan.</p><p>"Why? You ain't back with Rahna, are you?" Shepard asked nervously.</p><p>"No. My mother notices everything. It'll be difficult to explain a hickey when I'm not dating anyone," Kaidan explained with a grin.</p><p>"You could just tell her you're dating me," Shepard suggested with a mischievous grin.</p><p>Kaidan tensed at Shepard's words, causing Shepard's grin to fade.</p><p>Shepard gently removed his arms from Kaidan's body.</p><p>"Look, Shepard—" </p><p>"It's fine. I understand. You don't gotta say nothin'. I was only joking," Shepard lied, "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."</p><p>"Shepard, it's— it's complicated. I'm not saying, never. It's just—" Kaidan tried desperately to explain himself, afraid that Shepard might lose interest in him.</p><p>"K, it's okay. Really. I'm okay with what we got. I like taking care of you," Shepard assured the nervous young man, "I like sucking your cock. So— no worries, eh."</p><p>Kaidan blushed at the bluntness of Shepard's words.</p><p>"You're a very sexual person, aren't you," Kaidan replied with a smile.</p><p>"I guess. I mean— I love sex. Is that a bad thing?" Shepard asked, cocking his head in confusion.</p><p>"No. It's not bad. It's just— different than what I'm used to. You're— different," Kaidan admitted truthfully. "I like it."</p><p>Shepard smiled sweetly.</p><p>"I should really go," Kaidan admitted as he kissed Shepard once more. "I'll text you when I get home."</p><p>"Okay," Shepard nodded as he watched Kaidan make his way to the door. "See ya, baby."</p><p>"Later, Shepard."</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Twenty minutes later—</b>
</p><p>
  <b>BUZZ— BUZZ— BUZZ—</b>
</p><p>Shepard checked his phone, only to find a text from Jin Leng.</p><p>– <b>Jin:  </b>"Do you wanna meet up tonight?" –</p><p>– <b>Shepard: </b>"I can't. I got a game tomorrow night, and I'm pretty tired." –</p><p>– <b>Jin:  </b>"I can make you sleep like a baby. All you have to do is meet me at the hotel— the one from last night." –</p><p>"What is it with this guy? It's like he doesn't understand the word no," Shepard mumbled as he texted the persistent man back.</p><p><em> 'He might be a wee bit needy,' </em>the voice suggested in an amused tone.</p><p>"I know, right. I hope I didn't fuck up by giving him my number," Shepard said with a sigh.</p><p>– <b>Shepard:  </b>"I CAN'T! If you're still interested, text me tomorrow— after the game." –</p><p>– <b>Jin:  </b>"Fine. If I must, I'll wait. See you tomorrow." –</p><p>"Finally," Shepard tossed the phone to the side as he waited patiently for Kaidan's call.</p><p>"God, I wish Kaidan would fuck me already," Shepard groaned as he idly began touching himself.</p><p><em> 'Horny again, huh,' </em> the voice chuckled, <em> 'It's a shame you couldn't hook up with Jin.' </em></p><p>"I don't want Jin! I want Kaidan! It's driving me insane," Shepard admitted as he freed himself from his jeans.</p><p><em> 'I hope he lives up to the expectations— because you are horny as fuck,' </em>the voice stated in amusement.</p><p>
  <b>BUZZ— BUZZ— BUZZ—</b>
</p><p>"There's my baby," Shepard grinned as he read the text.</p><p>– <b>Kaidan:  </b>"I'm home. You should probably get some rest. You have a big game tomorrow." –</p><p><em> 'Aw— ain't that sweet! He wants you to get some rest,' </em>the voice teased.</p><p>"Laugh all you want— I think he's fucking adorable," Shepard admitted as he texted the courteous teen back.</p><p>– <b>Shepard:  </b>"I will. I just wanna send you a pic— if you're interested—" –</p><p>– <b>Kaidan:  </b>"What kind of pic is it?" –</p><p>– <b>Shepard:  </b>"K, it's me— what kind of pic do you think it is? It's a dirty pic, of course! I won't send it if you don't want me to, though." –</p><p>Shepard waited several minutes for a reply.</p><p>"God, tell me I didn't fuck up again," Shepard groaned, "I'm too goddamn forward!"</p><p><em> 'You shouldn't feel bad for shit you can't help. You're a forward type of guy, and there ain't nothin' wrong with that,' </em>the voice assured the nervous blonde.</p><p>
  <b>BUZZ— BUZZ— BUZZ— </b>
</p><p>– <b>Kaidan:  </b>"You have my undivided attention. I can't wait!" –</p><p>"You asked for it, baby," Shepard grinned as he took a quick snap of his very impressive erection.</p><p>– <b>Kaidan:  </b>"Is that really you!?" –</p><p>Shepard couldn't help but laugh. </p><p><em> 'I love that reaction. Wait until he sees it in person,' </em>the voice laughed in amusement.</p><p>– <b>Shepard:  </b>"Yep. All me." –</p><p>– <b>Kaidan:  </b> "That's <b>impressive</b>!" –</p><p>– <b>Shepard:  </b>"Do you like it?" –</p><p>– <b>Kaidan:  </b>"I do. It's a beautiful sight." –</p><p>– <b>Shepard:  </b>"You wanna show me yours?" –</p><p>– <b>Kaidan:  </b>"You already know what I look like." –</p><p>– <b>Shepard:  </b>"Aw— Please— Play with me, K." –</p><p>– <b>Kaidan:  </b>"Maybe one day— when I'm braver." –</p><p>– <b>Shepard:  </b>Well— I hope that pic gives you something good to dream about." –</p><p>– <b>Kaidan:  </b>"Are you still hard?" –</p><p>– <b>Shepard:  </b>"Yeah. Why?" –</p><p>– <b>Kaidan:  </b>"Can you take another pic, but one that shows your face too?" –</p><p><em> 'That's kinda hot. I never thought Kaidan would've had the nerve to ask for that,' </em>the voice mused.</p><p>"Me either, but I'm pleasantly surprised," Shepard admitted as he took another photo, trying his best to look as sexy as possible. "What do you think? Does it look like I'm trying too hard?"</p><p><em> 'Nah. You actually look hot as fuck,' </em>the voice admitted truthfully.</p><p>"Good enough," Shepard grinned as he sent the pic.</p><p>– <b>Kaidan:  </b>"Now, that is a perfect photo!" –</p><p>– <b>Shepard:  </b>"I'm glad you like it, baby. I'm gonna go take care of this. I'll be thinking of you the whole time— just so you know."</p><p>– <b>Kaidan:  </b>"I'll be dreaming of you too. Thanks for the photo. Sweet dreams, Shepard. I'll talk to you later." –</p><p>– <b>Shepard:  </b>"Goodnight, baby." –</p><p>It didn't take Shepard long to reach his peak—</p><p>"I needed that," Shepard admitted as he quickly cleaned himself up. "I gotta admit, that wore me out. I think I'll just go to sleep now."</p><p><em> 'Yeah. You could use the rest,' </em>the voice half-joked as Shepard turned out the light and curled up on his bed. </p><p>
  <em> 'Sleep well, Shepard. You deserve it.' </em>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next Chapter:  Jin introduces Shepard to Kai Leng—</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Hellhound</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Jin introduces Shepard to his cousin— Kai Leng. Kai makes Shepard an offer—<br/>Jin tries to get to know Shepard better—</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>***WARNING***<br/>SEXUAL CONTENT</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>BUZZ— BUZZ— BUZZ—</b>
</p><p>"I'll get it," Kahlee called out as she made her way to the door.</p><p>"Ryan! What brings you here so early? Is everything alright?" Kahlee asked as she kissed the young man's cheek in greeting.</p><p>"Everything's fine. I have to head back to Ontario today and wanted to say goodbye," Ryan explained as he hugged her tight. "Do you mind if my friend comes in?"</p><p>"No, of course not," Kahlee replied with an amused grin. "Please, come in."</p><p>"Kahlee, you remember Alex," Ryan smiled.</p><p>"Of course. It's nice to see you again, Alex," Kahlee said as she offered her hand to the man.</p><p>"Likewise, ma'am," Alex said as he shook her offered hand. </p><p>"Is Baby Boy awake yet?" Ryan asked as he glanced around the room.</p><p>"No, not yet. He's been tired lately and doesn't get up until the last minute," Kahlee explained, a hint of amusement in her tone.</p><p>"Blue-eyes never was a morning person," Alex mused, causing Kahlee to look at him in confusion.</p><p>"Do you know John well?" Kahlee asked curiously.</p><p>"Quite well, in fact," Alex grinned.</p><p>"J's the one that introduced us," Ryan admitted with a nod.</p><p>"I see," Kahlee said, feeling even more confused.</p><p>"Ryan! Is that you?" Hailey asked as she came running to the grey-eyed man.</p><p>"Well, hello, Princess," Ryan greeted as he picked her up and kissed her softly on the cheek.</p><p>"Hello, Alex," Hailey waved happily.</p><p>"Hello, baby girl," Alex waved with an award-winning smile.</p><p>"I'm glad I got to see you, Princess. I've gotta head back to Ontario— but I'll see you soon, eh," Ryan explained.</p><p>"Aw— I wish you didn't have to go. I'll miss you," Hailey pouted as she hugged him tightly.</p><p>"I know. I'll miss you too, baby girl," Ryan admitted as he kissed her tiny forehead. "I gotta go tell J goodbye. Do you mind waiting here with Alex while I go check on my Baby Boy?" </p><p>"I don't mind. He locks his door, though. Good luck getting in," Hailey grinned as she went to Alex.</p><p>"That might be a problem," Ryan sighed.</p><p>"David has the key. I'll go get it," Kahlee explained as she made her way upstairs.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"Ryan, it's good to see you, son," Anderson greeted the young man with a hug. "I see you brought your friend."</p><p>"Yeah. You know Alex. Alex, you remember David Anderson," Ryan re-introduced them with a smile.</p><p>"Hello," Alex nodded as he bounced Hailey on his hip.</p><p>"Hello," Anderson grinned knowingly. "Here's the key, Ryan. He might be a little grouchy. He's not a morning person."</p><p>"Believe me, I know," Ryan chuckled as he headed towards Shepard's room.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>It only took a few seconds for Ryan to open the door. He couldn't help but smile at his beloved friend. Shepard was lying on his side, his hands slightly curled into a ball beside his head— his dark-blonde hair falling over his closed eyes. He looked so peaceful, and Ryan almost felt guilty for what he was about to do—</p><p>Ryan shut the door quietly before gently crawling in beside the young blonde. Ryan gently kissed Shepard's neck before whispering softly in his ear—</p><p>"Baby Boy, it's time to wake up."</p><p>Shepard never moved— he just continued to sleep soundly.</p><p>"Come on, Baby Boy. It's time to wake up," Ryan spoke louder as he gently shook the boy's shoulders.</p><p>"Hn," Shepard grunted as he began to stir.</p><p>"There's my boy," Ryan grinned as he kissed Shepard softly on the mouth.</p><p>"Ryan?" Shepard asked as he struggled to focus.</p><p>"Yeah, Baby Boy— it's me," Ryan admitted with a smile as Shepard kissed him slowly. </p><p>"Sorry for the morning breath," Shepard mumbled as he sat up in bed.</p><p>"It's fine. I gotta leave soon. I wanted to see you before I left," Ryan explained.</p><p>"Yeah. I hope your season goes well," Shepard smiled a sad smile. "I'll miss you, yeah."</p><p>"Yeah. I'll miss you too, Baby Boy— more than you know," Ryan admitted as he brushed a stray hair from Shepard's too-blue eyes. "What's this about you being tired?"</p><p>"Ah— It's just hockey. I'll be fine. My team ain't exactly helpful on the ice. No matter how much Coach scolds them, they still refuse to listen to me. It's only three or four players, though. I'll carry 'em as long as I can," Shepard replied with a shrug.</p><p>"J, you can't keep playing double shifts. It's just not physically possible. Massani knows that. Something's gotta give, and I don't want it to be you," Ryan scolded his blue-eyed friend.</p><p>"I know— but I'm fine, Ryan. Really, I am," Shepard assured the grey-eyed man as he decided to get out of bed.</p><p>"Uh-huh," Ryan said skeptically. "Alex is coming with me. He'll only be gone for a few weeks."</p><p>"That's great! You won't be so lonely in Ontario," Shepard approved with a grin.</p><p>"I tried to talk him out of it," Ryan admitted.</p><p>"What? Why?" Shepard asked in confusion.</p><p>"I wanted him to be here with you. I don't like the idea of leaving you here all alone. It was hard enough the last time," Ryan explained anxiously.</p><p>"Ryan, I'm fine. Everything's okay. I'll let you know if I start feeling wrong. I promise. Now, do me a favour and stop pushing Alex away for my sake," Shepard insisted.</p><p>"Baby Boy, I'm not pushing him away. Alex knows that. He knows I'm just worried about you," Ryan assured the young blonde.</p><p>"Yeah— well, stop worrying so much. I'll be fine. Trust me," Shepard grinned as he gave Ryan a peck on the lips. "I'm gonna take a quick shower. I'll see you when I'm done."</p><p>"Okay," Ryan nodded in agreement. "I'm gonna go play with Hailey a bit. Alex is probably going crazy, trying to think of a way to keep her amused."</p><p>"Alex is here?" Shepard asked, curiously, as he picked out some clothes.</p><p>"Yep. I tried to drop a few hints to your mom, but I still don't think she caught on. I think your dad caught on right away, though," Ryan grinned in amusement.</p><p>"Yeah. Mom don't really catch stuff like that. I don't think Daddy would, but he's so damn used to me that it comes naturally to him now," Shepard shrugged as he made his way to the door.</p><p>"Baby Boy, you're buck-naked. You might wanna cover-up— in case Hailey's within eye-shot," Ryan laughed warmly.</p><p>"Huh?" Shepard looked down. "Shit. Hand me those," Shepard instructed, pointing at the jeans lying discarded on the floor.</p><p>"Here ya go," Ryan grinned as Shepard quickly pulled them on. "Aren't you gonna button them?"</p><p>"Why the hell would I do that," Shepard asked, brow cocked in confusion.</p><p>"Because I can still see the base of your cock," Ryan teased.</p><p>"Really, Ryan? It ain't showing enough to worry about," Shepard groaned, wanting nothing more than to get on with his day.</p><p>"I'll button you up," Ryan insisted as he gave Shepard a peck on the lips. "There— I only buttoned them halfway."</p><p>"Thanks. I'll see ya in a few minutes," Shepard said as he hurried to the washroom.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>Once Shepard was ready for the day, he slowly made his way into the kitchen.</p><p>"I see Mom has talked you guys into having breakfast," Shepard grinned as he kissed his mother on the cheek.</p><p>"Yeah, you know me— I'm always hungry," Ryan admitted as he took another bite of his bacon.</p><p>"That's an understatement," Alex teased with a wink.</p><p>"Steady, now," Ryan chuckled as he took a drink of coffee.</p><p>"I don't mind cooking for Ryan. It makes me happy that he enjoys it so much," Kahlee admitted with a pleased grin. "What do you want to eat, sweetheart?"</p><p>"I'll just grab a piece of fruit and eat it on the way," Shepard replied as he poured himself a cup of coffee.</p><p>"John, it's game day! You should eat something more substantial," Kahlee scolded the blue-eyed blonde.</p><p>"She's right, Baby Boy. You need to eat something besides a piece of fruit," Ryan agreed with a nod.</p><p>"Fine. I'll eat," Shepard finally relented as his mother handed him a plate of scrambled eggs and bacon.</p><p>"The toast is on the table," Kahlee said as she added a banana to Hailey's lunchbox.</p><p>"Are you feeling better today?" Anderson asked his son.</p><p>"Uh— yeah. I guess. I better be anyway," Shepard joked as he picked at his food.</p><p>"Yeah. They're a pretty rough team— I think they're ranked second overall," Ryan said with a concerned look on his face.</p><p>"Yeah. Hopefully, we'll do well. I don't really expect us to win, but maybe we can at least compete," Shepard replied honestly.</p><p>"Well, you guys still have a shot at winning, but only if they use you for half the night. And, I gotta admit, I hate the idea. It's wearing you down, and that's a surefire way to leave yourself wide open for injury," Ryan explained.</p><p>"I agree with you, Ryan— but my boy is so damn stubborn. He'll play until he hits the wall," Anderson informed Ryan, the concern evident in his voice.</p><p>"Can we not talk about this?" Shepard whined as he pushed his plate aside.</p><p>"That's all you're going to eat?" Anderson asked, cocking his brow in disbelief.</p><p>"Yeah. I ain't very hungry," Shepard shrugged. </p><p>"Ry, I hate to rush you, but we're gonna be late if we don't leave now," Alex said with an apologetic smile.</p><p>"Yeah. You're right," Ryan agreed as he rose from the table. "Kahlee, thanks for breakfast. It was delicious. I'll see you guys again soon."</p><p>Ryan kissed Kahlee on the cheek before turning his attention to Hailey. </p><p>"You be good, Princess. I'll see you soon," Ryan promised as he kissed her on the cheek.</p><p>"You'll be at the wedding, won't you?" Anderson asked as he shook the young man's hand.</p><p>"Wouldn't miss it," Ryan said with a grin.</p><p>"Alex, you're more than welcome to come. You can be Ryan's plus-one," Anderson grinned with a teasing wink.</p><p>"I'd be happy to come. Thank you," Alex grinned as he waited for his lover.</p><p>"You wanna walk us out, Baby Boy?" Ryan asked as he scratched his chin lazily.</p><p>"Yeah. Mom, I'm gonna put my bag in your car— if that's alright," Shepard informed his mother.</p><p>"Sure. I'll put it in my room at school," Kahlee insisted.</p><p>"Alright. I'm gonna head on out. I'll see you guys tonight," Shepard said as he grabbed his backpack and followed Ryan out the door.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"I'll meet you in the car," Alex whispered as he kissed Ryan gently on the mouth. "I'll see you soon, blue-eyes," Alex winked as he kissed the young blonde goodbye, "Try not to get into trouble, and stay healthy."</p><p>"I'll try," Shepard chuckled as Alex took his place in the driver's seat of the car.</p><p>"Well— I guess it's getting about that time," Ryan said with a sad laugh. "I'm gonna miss you, Baby Boy— but, well, you already know that. You call and text me every day. I mean it, J— every day. And face-time me at least twice a week. I love you, Baby Boy."</p><p>"I love you too, Walker," Shepard admitted truthfully, as he kissed Ryan slowly. "Come back soon, yeah."</p><p>"Real soon," Ryan assured his best friend as he kissed him slowly once more. "I better get going. Later, Baby Boy."</p><p>"Later, Walker," Shepard waved as he watched his friends drive off in the distance—</p><p>"I miss you already," Shepard mumbled as he began walking down the street.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Later that night—</b>
</p><p>"What did I tell you? He's positively incredible, isn't he?" Jin said with a grin as he turned his attention towards his cousin.</p><p>"He does seem more than capable on the ice," Kai Leng, a young Asian man with long midnight-black hair and even darker eyes commented, as he continued to study the blue-eyed blonde. "Why is he playing for such a subpar team?"</p><p>"I'm not sure. You know how those DTES boys are, Kai— they're stubborn to a fault. But maybe he's just never been offered a better deal," Jin explained.</p><p>"Perhaps we should make him an offer. He could be a very valuable asset for Team Cerberus," Kai suggested with a wicked grin.</p><p>"The Hellhound jersey would look awfully good on him, wouldn't it?" Jin grinned in amusement.</p><p>"Where did you meet him?" Kai asked curiously.</p><p>"Oh, nowhere special— I just happened to run into him," Jin shrugged.</p><p>"I see," Kai nodded as he witnessed Shepard being rammed mercilessly into the boards, but not before the young blonde managed to assist Paul with a goal. "He's tough. He reminds me of myself. Introduce us tonight. I have a proposition for him."</p><p>"Consider it done," Jin assured his cousin as they continued to watch the game.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"Are you doing alright, Shepard," Garrus asked as he watched Shepard struggle to catch his breath.</p><p>Shepard just nodded as he continued to struggle.</p><p>"That was a pretty hard hit," Paul said in concern.</p><p>"I'm fine— just need a— minute," Shepard leaned his head back, closing his eyes— trying his best to relax and prepare for another shift.</p><p>"I don't know how you did it, but we're actually winning. We only got about three minutes to go. I think Garrus and me can hold 'em off. You should try to relax. You're pretty gassed," Paul suggested as he rubbed his Captain's back.</p><p>"Shift change," Zaeed called out, signalling for Shepard's return to the ice.</p><p>"Coach, there's just no way Shepard can go again. He's gassed and can barely catch his breath," Garrus pleaded.</p><p>"Well, what about it, Shepard? Are you in or out?" Zaeed asked, cocking his head to the side as he spoke. "It's up to you, Captain."</p><p>"I'm in," Shepard grunted as he made his way back onto the ice.</p><p>"Now, that's a goddamn Captain," Zaeed grinned— proudly, as he watched the final minutes tick away.</p><p>"Hey, Pops— You know Shepard can't keep this up, right? Those four guys are gonna have to start listening to Shepard, or they're never gonna pull their weight," Jack said with a serious look on her face.</p><p>"Shepard's strong. He'll lead them— they'll fall in line— eventually," Zaeed replied with a shrug.</p><p>"Look, I know Shepard goes like a fucking machine, but even machines can break down. He's my friend, and I don't wanna see him hurt," Jack admitted truthfully.</p><p>"Then you shouldn't be watching him play. Hockey is a goddamn brutal sport. There's no guarantee he won't be hurt. You know that, Jack." Zaeed reminded her.</p><p>"Yeah, I get that— but this ain't the same thing! This is watching him wear himself down. If you keep playing him like this, he ain't gonna have nothing left for the goddamn finals! I know you're a better coach than this. So, why? Why are you overusing him?" Jack asked, knowing full-well her father would never ignore the well-being of one of his players.</p><p>"The owners want a win. They want to see their team in the finals, and this is the only way they'll get there. I'll ease up on Shepard once our standings are better. Besides, he's drawing a lot of attention— some much-needed attention. Look at the gentlemen in the third row— they're scouts— every goddamn one of them. And who do you think they're here to see—" Zaeed asked casually.</p><p>"Shepard," Jack replied simply.</p><p>"That's right— Shepard," Zaeed grinned. "Trust me, Jack. I know what I'm doing."</p><p>The end-of-game buzzer sounded, and Shepard's team, the Renegades, won by a surprising three-point margin.</p><p>"Well done," Zaeed grinned as he revelled in their victory.</p><p>"Yo, Loco— where are you going?" James asked as he noticed the blue-eyed blonde exiting the ice. "Aren't you gonna celebrate?"</p><p>"Nah. I'm gonna hit the showers and head home. I'm pretty gassed, eh," Shepard waved as he headed towards the locker room.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>Shepard quickly showered before exiting the building— leaving his team behind to celebrate their victory.</p><p>"Hey, sweetheart. Are you ready to head home?" Kahlee asked as Shepard placed his hockey bag in the trunk of her car.</p><p>"I'm not sure. Kaidan was supposed to meet me after the game. Have you seen him?" Shepard asked just as his phone began to vibrate.</p><p>
  <b>BUZZ— BUZZ— BUZZ—</b>
</p><p>"Can you excuse me for a sec," Shepard asked as he quietly checked his messages.</p><p>– <b>Kaidan:  </b>"Hey, I recorded the game. I'm going to watch it later. How did you guys do? I know I'm just wasting time, so I'll just tell you— I'm so sorry, but I'm stuck at my mom's benefit dinner, and I won't be able to see you tonight. Please forgive me, eh." –</p><p>"Never mind, Mom. Kaidan wasn't able to come," Shepard said as he typed his reply—</p><p>– <b>Shepard:  </b>"That sucks, but I understand. So, no worries, eh— We won, by the way. I'll talk to you later." </p><p>"That's unfortunate— so, are you coming home now, or—" Kahlee's words were cut off as the familiar sound of a vibrating phone was heard— </p><p>
  <b>BUZZ— BUZZ— BUZZ—</b>
</p><p>"Sorry about that," Shepard mumbled as he quickly checked his messages.</p><p>– <b>Jin:  </b>"I have a cousin who's very interested in meeting you. He's a fellow hockey player. He saw your game tonight and was very impressed. He wants to talk shop. We'll meet you at the convenience store across the street."</p><p><em> 'I wonder what that's all about?' </em>The voice wondered.</p><p>'Don't know— but I guess we'll find out,' Shepard replied silently.</p><p>"Well? Are you coming home?" Kahlee asked, hoping for a yes.</p><p>"I think I'll hang back for a while. I shouldn't be too late, though," Shepard said with a smile.</p><p>"Are you sure? You look exhausted, sweetheart. And I just know you're starving. Please, come home with me," Kahlee pleaded, hoping her son would agree.</p><p>"I'm fine, Mom. I got a protein bar in my pocket and— I promise— I'll pick up something to eat. I got a friend that wants to introduce me to his cousin. Apparently, he wants to talk about hockey. It shouldn't take long," Shepard explained. "Besides, you have to pick Hailey up from the party she went to. It'll give you guys more time to talk about Hailey's dress for the wedding. I know you guys have been trying to come to an agreement for weeks. You need all the time with her you can get," Shepard grinned knowingly.</p><p>"I suppose you're right. I hate the way you do that," Kahlee chuckled.</p><p>"The way I do what?" Shepard asked in confusion.</p><p>"The way you can talk me into anything. It's unnerving," Kahlee teased as she hugged her son tightly. "You took a hard hit tonight. Are you sure you're feeling okay?"</p><p>"I'm right as rain, Mom. I'll be home before you know it," Shepard promised as he kissed her softly on the cheek.</p><p>"If you say so," Kahlee said with a sigh as she kissed her son goodbye. "Be safe. I love you."</p><p>"Love you too," Shepard said as he opened the driver's side door for his mother. "Drive safe."</p><p>"I will. I'll see you at home," Kahlee smiled as she pulled out of the parking lot.</p><p>Shepard waved as his mother's car drove out of sight. Once he could no longer see her, Shepard quietly retrieved the protein bar from the inner pocket of his leather jacket. He opened the bar quickly— taking a bite before walking towards the nearby convenience store—</p><p>"There he is," Jin grinned as he pointed to the young blonde-haired man crossing the street.</p><p>"Hn. Are you sure that's the same man? He looks like one of those pretty-boy model types," Kai complained as he continued to stare at the young blonde.</p><p>"Trust me— looks can be deceiving. He's tough— there's no doubt about that," Jin insisted as he and his cousin exited the store.</p><p>"We'll see," Kai shrugged as Shepard made his way towards them.</p><p>"Hello, Shepard," Jin greeted with a grin.</p><p>"Hey," Shepard replied as he took another bite of his protein bar.</p><p>"Well, Jin, don't just stand there— introduce us," Kai insisted as he studied the blue-eyed teen closely.</p><p>"Right— Shepard, this is my cousin, Kai Leng. Kai, this is Shepard," Jin introduced them, hoping the two would hit it off.</p><p>"Shepard," Kai greeted as he offered his hand to Shepard.</p><p>Shepard cocked a brow as he put his protein bar between his teeth just long enough to shake the young man's hand.</p><p>"What did you wanna talk to me about?" Shepard asked as he continued to eat his protein bar.</p><p>"Eager, aren't you?" Jin asked in amusement.</p><p>"I guess," Shepard shrugged as he finished off his protein bar before putting the empty wrapper in his pocket.</p><p>"I watched your game tonight. I must say— I was quite impressed with your performance. You really carried your team," Kai informed Shepard with a grin.</p><p>"Yeah. It was a tough game. They're ranked second or third in the standings," Shepard admitted as he rubbed his left shoulder in nervous habit.</p><p>"They're second, I believe— or they were. You may have knocked them down a peg or two with that performance tonight," Kai grinned in approval.</p><p>"It was a team effort," Shepard insisted.</p><p>"Bullshit! <b>You</b> carried them. The rest were pathetic," Kai said with a look of disdain on his face.</p><p>"I agree that there's three or four guys that don't pull their weight, but the rest of my team is solid," Shepard explained, cocking his head in annoyance.</p><p>"Uh-huh— We both know that isn't true. If it was, the coach wouldn't have to overuse you. It's sad, really— using up all your talent just to keep that second-rate team alive in the standings. It's a waste of your talents," Kai insisted.</p><p>"Maybe. It don't matter. I'm their Captain— and they're my team. I'm proud of 'em— well, I'm proud of most of 'em. Most of 'em play their goddamn hearts out. They may not be elite players, but they do their best. That's good enough for me," Shepard explained honestly.</p><p>"That's a lovely sentiment, but in the end— a stupid one. You have a very good shot at playing for the NHL," Kai admitted truthfully, "All you need to make it happen is the one little thing you're missing."</p><p>"And what exactly am I missing?" Shepard asked curiously.</p><p>"A championship-caliber team," Kai smirked.</p><p>"Really? And I assume you have some thoughts on how I can remedy that," Shepard replied in an annoyed tone.</p><p>"I do, actually," Kai insisted with a grin. "You see, I happen to be the Captain of the top team in the division. You may have heard of us— the Cerberus Hellhounds—"</p><p>"Yeah. I've heard of your team— you're probably the dirtiest players in the league. I feel like I need a goddamn shower after watching you play," Shepard replied, refusing to hold anything back.</p><p>"Feisty, isn't he," Jin chuckled.</p><p>"Ah, yes— the infamous DTES attitude. Do you have any idea how lucky you are to be playing at this level? Trash like you normally fade away in obscurity— resigning themselves to beer league heroes. You should be grateful I took an interest in you at all," Kai snapped, his arrogance making Shepard sick to his stomach.</p><p>"Unlike you arrogant little rich boys that get by on Daddy's money— I actually earn my goddamn place. And I do it with hard work. You see, <b>this</b> piece of trash don't quit. When I have a goal, I complete it. Come hell or high water— I get it done. So, you can just go fuck yourself, you rich fucking cunt," Shepard fumed as he rapidly clenched and unclenched his hand in anticipation of a fight.</p><p><em> 'Shepard, as much as I hate this arrogant cunt— PLEASE, don't start a fight,' </em> The voice pleaded, <em> 'He obviously has connections, and if he complains to the powers that be, you could get into major trouble for </em> <b> <em>conduct unbecoming of a player</em></b><em>. </em><em>If that happens, it could cost you your spot on the team. Don't let this prick bait you into a fight.' </em></p><p>Kai Leng laughed in amusement. "Oh, I like you! We are very similar— you and I. That's why I'm willing to forget your transgression and offer you a very lucrative position."</p><p><em> 'Is this fucker serious?' </em>The voice asked in confusion.</p><p>"What?" Shepard asked in disbelief.</p><p>"I want you to join Cerberus. You would fit right in with us. You're an incredibly talented player— an elite— if you will. And we both know elite players belong with elite teams. So— what do you say? Are you ready to become a Cerberus Hellhound?"</p><p>"Why in the hell would I ever want to join you?" Shepard asked, cocking his brow in confused amusement.</p><p>"For the glory, of course! With you on our side, we can easily defeat all comers. The finals would be a breeze. The cup would be as good as ours," Kai explained, "And if that isn't enough for you— we can pay you a hell of a lot more than the Renegades ever could."</p><p>"I ain't interested," Shepard stated simply.</p><p>"What if they could guarantee you a spot on a professional NHL team?" Jin asked, trying to sway the young blonde.</p><p>"We can do that, you know," Kai insisted, "Jin's not lying. Think about it, Shepard— by this time next year, you could be playing for any team in the NHL. I know that's what you want. We can make it happen."</p><p><em> 'Are you really considering this?' </em>The voice asked anxiously.</p><p>"Hell no," Shepard answered aloud. "I ain't abandoning my team. I'm their Captain and win-or-lose I play for them. I ain't like you. I don't throw people away. And I sure as hell can't be bought. So, no— I won't be playing for Cerberus. I got my pride. That might not mean much to you rich-boy— but pride is all I got."</p><p>"That pride will ruin you. Trust me, you don't want to be my enemy," Kai warned, his voice growing darker as he spoke.</p><p>Shepard laughed in amusement. "I ain't scared of you. Besides, what the fuck do you care? If my team really is as pathetic as you say, then you ain't got shit to worry about. I'm pretty sure little old me can't possibly be enough to take down your entire team," Shepard teased.</p><p>"You are making a huge mistake. I offered you an out, and you refused. When we meet on the ice, we will destroy both you and the Renegades. In fact, you've just placed a target on your back. We won't let anyone stand in our way— no matter how small of a threat they pose," Kai growled, growing increasingly more frustrated with the stubborn young blonde.</p><p>"So— you <b>do</b> see us as a threat? Good to know," Shepard smirked, causing Leng to turn bright red in frustration.</p><p>"Jin, I'll see you later. I've had enough of your— friend," Kai said as he took his leave.</p><p>"You know, you really should reconsider. It's a great offer, and it would benefit you to no end," Jin pleaded, hoping that Shepard would see reason.</p><p>"Look— you wanna fuck or not? I ain't interested in talking about hockey, and I think your cousin is a massive cunt— So, can we please just get a goddamn room," Shepard asked, too tired to argue with the young man.</p><p>Jin laughed warmly at the blue-eyed blonde. "I do love your attitude. Sure, we can get a room. What hotel would you like?" Jin asked as he led Shepard to his car.</p><p>"It don't matter to me. Somewhere close would be good, though. I'm tired as fuck, so— if you're interested, you can be the top tonight," Shepard offered as he buckled his seat belt.</p><p>"Seriously? You're going to let me fuck you?" Jin asked in disbelief.</p><p>"I told you the first night we hooked up that I was a vers— so, is it really such a surprise?" Shepard asked with a yawn.</p><p>"Actually— it is. Most tall guys don't like to get fucked by a noticeably shorter guy. It messes with their masculinity," Jin explained truthfully.</p><p>"My masculinity is just fine. I don't care how tall or short a guy is— either they can fuck or they can't— simple. You <b>can </b>fuck, can't you?" Shepard asked, cocking a brow as he spoke.</p><p>"Of course," Jin chuckled as he took Shepard's left hand in his. "You are unlike anyone I've ever met. You're like some kind of alien."</p><p>"Does that bother you?" Shepard asked as he glanced lazily at the young driver.</p><p>"Not at all. I find it irresistibly sexy," Jin admitted truthfully, as he kissed the palm of Shepard's hand.</p><p>"Hn."</p><p>"How do you feel about this place?" Jin asked as he pulled into the parkade of an overpriced hotel.</p><p>"This place is a bit much, isn't it," Shepard whispered as his brow furrowed in confusion.</p><p>"What do you mean?" Jin asked as he picked a parking space.</p><p>"I mean— ain't it a bit too expensive. We're only gonna be using the bed. We'll be outta here in an hour at most. It just seems like a waste," Shepard explained anxiously.</p><p>"Well, I was hoping you could spend the night," Jin suggested with a wink.</p><p>"Look, that's a generous offer, but I can't. I'm sorry," Shepard apologized, shaking his head for emphasis.</p><p>"Why not?" Jin asked, cocking his head to the side in curiosity.</p><p>"I got school," Shepard replied truthfully.</p><p>"So? I'm sure your professors wouldn't mind. They're not in the habit of giving a damn about attendance," Jin chuckled in amusement.</p><p>"Professors?" Shepard couldn't help but ask, "How old do you think I am?"</p><p>"Hmm— Nineteen, twenty— maybe," Jin replied with a grin.</p><p>Shepard laughed in amusement. "Dude, I'm only seventeen."</p><p>"What? Seventeen? Are you serious?" Jin asked in shock and confusion.</p><p>"Yep," Shepard replied simply. "Does that piss you off?"</p><p>"Why didn't you say something?" Jin asked in annoyance.</p><p>"Why the hell would I? I'm legal to have sex," Shepard shrugged. "If it bothers you— we can stop." </p><p>"It doesn't bother me," Jin assured the blue-eyed beauty, "It just surprises me. Where the hell does a seventeen-year-old learn to fuck like that?"</p><p>"Years of practice," Shepard admitted with a crooked grin. </p><p>"I can't tell if you're serious, or if you're messing with me," Jin replied, cocking a brow in contemplation.</p><p>"Does it really matter?" Shepard asked as he turned his gaze away from the confused man. "I'll just go. You don't gotta drive me anywhere. I'm sorry if I pissed you off."</p><p>Shepard smiled— sadly— as he moved to exit the car.</p><p>"STOP," Jin called out, causing Shepard to look in his direction. "Don't go. I don't regret anything, and I don't want to stop. So, please— stay."</p><p>"Alright," Shepard nodded in agreement. "Do you still wanna get a room here, or—"</p><p>"I don't mind paying. The beds here are quite comfortable," Jin admitted with a wink.</p><p>"I'll bet," Shepard grinned as he waited for Jin's next move.</p><p>"Are you ready?" Jin asked as he grabbed his wallet from the console.</p><p>"Yep. Lead the way," Shepard said as he followed the man into the hotel.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>Once they were in the spacious room, Shepard was eager to get things started, but Jin had other plans.</p><p>"Easy there," Jin chuckled as Shepard eagerly unbuttoned the young man's shirt.</p><p>"Look— I don't mean to rush you, but I really don't have much time," Shepard explained as he began sucking gently on Jin's neck.</p><p>"I was hoping we could talk a bit first. I'd like to get to know you better," Jin admitted, causing Shepard to stop what he was doing.</p><p>"I don't think that's a good idea," Shepard said, brow furrowing in disapproval.</p><p>"Why not?" Jin asked as he kissed Shepard languidly. "What's the harm?"</p><p>"There's no point. It's just sex— that's all there is between us. So— what the hell does it matter?" Shepard asked anxiously.</p><p>"Well— if I knew you better, I would know more about what you liked. It would— in turn— make the sex better," Jin tried to explain.</p><p>Shepard gave a heavy sigh before finally giving in—</p><p>"What do you wanna know?" Shepard asked anxiously.</p><p>"Excellent! When did you lose your virginity?" Jin asked with a smug grin.</p><p>"Eleven— next question," Shepard replied honestly.</p><p>"Eleven," Jin repeated in shock. "Explain."</p><p>"No. Next question," Shepard insisted.</p><p>"Did you enjoy it?" Jin asked curiously.</p><p>"No— Stop asking me about it. Next question," Shepard replied.</p><p>"Sorry— I didn't mean to—"</p><p>"Next question or I walk," Shepard threatened.</p><p>"Don't do that! I'll let it go," Jin promised.</p><p>"Well?" Shepard asked anxiously, wanting the young man to get on with it.</p><p>"Have you ever had sex with a woman?" Jin asked quickly.</p><p>"No, and I never wanted to. I've always been gay. I ain't never doubted my sexuality.  And no, my teammates don't know. It ain't their business anyway. Is that everything you wanted to know?"</p><p>"Interesting. Are you psychic or something? You actually answered all of my questions. Well, all but two," Jin admitted.</p><p>"Well— go ahead," Shepard insisted, wanting the Q&amp;A to be over.</p><p>"Do you have a boyfriend?" </p><p>"No," Shepard replied simply.</p><p>Jin smirked as he spoke, "Good to know. Have you ever been in love?"</p><p>"None of your goddamn business," Shepard replied.</p><p>"That hit a nerve. Does it have anything to do with that tattoo you have on your wrist?" Jin asked curiously.</p><p>"I'm leaving," Shepard announced as he pulled away from the inquisitive young man.</p><p>"Don't do that! I'll drop it. I promise." </p><p>"Are you done? I'm getting really tired of playing twenty-questions," Shepard asked in irritation.</p><p>"I'm done. Is there anything you want to ask me?" Jin asked with a big smile on his face.</p><p>"Nope. I just wanna get laid and go home. I'm tired as fuck, and if you don't hurry the hell up, the sex is gonna suck. 'Cause I'm fucking gassed, and I ain't gonna have anything left to give," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p><p>"Don't you even want to know my age?" Jin asked, slightly annoyed by Shepard's lack of interest in him on a personal level.</p><p>"Fine. How old are you?" Shepard asked, totally uninterested in the answer.</p><p>"I'm twenty-five. Does that bother you?" </p><p>"Nope," Shepard replied as he began kissing the young man languidly.</p><p>"You really are in a hurry, huh," Jin chuckled. "Just tell me how you want it, baby."</p><p>"Hard and fast," Shepard instructed as he quickly removed all his clothing. "Hurry up and strip. If you ain't ready, I'll get you there."</p><p>Jin did as he was told, and— within seconds— Shepard was on his knees, taking Jin deep within his throat.</p><p>"I think this is my favourite form of foreplay," Jin admitted with a light laugh. "You're so fucking good at this."</p><p>"Um-hum," Shepard hummed as he continued to work the young man.</p><p>Once Shepard had gotten Jin as hard as he possibly could, he took his mouth away, causing Jin to whine in frustration. </p><p>"I wish you were fucking me instead," Jin admitted truthfully. "Your cock is so fucking good."</p><p>"I would, but I just ain't got the energy tonight. If you don't wanna fuck me, we can just 69 instead," Shepard offered, not wanting Jin to feel uneasy about their encounter.</p><p>"No— don't get me wrong, I <b>want </b>to fuck you. I just wish you could do me after," Jin explained as he retrieved a condom and some lube from his coat.</p><p>"Maybe next time," Shepard shrugged as Jin handed him the lubricant.</p><p>"I'll look forward to it," Jin admitted as he rolled the condom on his sex. "Do you want me to prepare you?"</p><p>"Nah. I got it," Shepard assured the man as he leaned back on the bed.</p><p>"Fuck, that's hot," Jin said as he stroked himself to the sight of Shepard fingering himself.</p><p>"I'm ready," Shepard announced as he rolled onto all fours.</p><p>"Just let me know if you're not comfortable," Jin spoke softly as he slowly entered Shepard's body.</p><p>Shepard couldn't help but moan a bit at the familiar sensation.</p><p><em> 'Does it feel good, Shepard?' </em>The voice asked in amusement.</p><p>"It's been too fucking long," Shepard replied aloud.</p><p><em> 'You know, it ain't really been that long,' </em> the voice said in amusement, <em> 'I think you really might be a sex addict.' </em></p><p>"Are you okay?" Jin asked in uncertainty.</p><p>"I'm good. You're good, keep going," Shepard assured the smaller man as he stroked himself in anticipation.</p><p>"Shit! You are so fucking tight! It feels so good. It makes me want to fuck your brains out," Jin admitted as he bit Shepard playfully on the shoulder.</p><p>"What's stopping you," Shepard whispered seductively, as he turned his head to kiss the young man who was now buried deep within him.</p><p>"You asked for it," Jin grinned as he began fucking Shepard hard and fast, just as the blue-eyed blonde had requested.</p><p>"It's good," Shepard whispered as he began to stroke himself faster and faster, desperately chasing his release.</p><p>"You feel so fucking good! I'm gonna fucking cum," Jin announced as his hips began to stutter, signalling the beginning of his orgasm.</p><p>Shepard could feel Jin pulsing within him, and worked himself even harder to find his release.</p><p>"Un," Shepard grunted as he finally found his release, his body milking Jin dry.</p><p>"Fuck! It's so fucking good," Jin whined as he collapsed against Shepard's back, causing the young blonde to collapse on the bed.</p><p>The two remained in a heap until Jin finally stirred. </p><p>"Are you okay? Your heart's still beating out of your chest. Was it that good?" Jin asked with a look of satisfied accomplishment on his face.</p><p>"I'm fine. There ain't no need to worry," Shepard mumbled as he slowly moved to his feet.</p><p>"What are you doing?" Jin asked in amusement.</p><p>"I need to get home," Shepard said as he collected his clothing from the floor.</p><p>"You know, you never answered me," Jin said as he watched Shepard dress.</p><p>"Huh?" Shepard asked, brow furrowed in confusion.</p><p>"Was it good?" Jin asked again.</p><p>"Oh— Yeah. It was good. Thanks," Shepard replied with a shrug as he sat down on the bed in order to tie his shoes.</p><p>"Do you really have to leave?" Jin asked as he brushed Shepard's dark-blonde hair from his sapphire-blue eyes.</p><p>"Yeah. I <b>really</b> gotta leave," Shepard insisted as he rose from the bed.</p><p>"Do you want me to drive you home?" Jin asked, hoping Shepard would take him up on the offer.</p><p>"Sure. I'm tired as all hell, so a ride would be much appreciated," Shepard admitted as he put on his leather jacket.</p><p>"It's no problem," Jin assured the blonde as he quickly got dressed.</p><p>"I need some air. I'll be waiting by the car," Shepard announced as he made his way out of the hotel.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"I'm so fucking tired," Shepard groaned as he leaned against Jin's car. </p><p><em> 'No kidding,' </em> the voice teased, <em> 'You worked your goddamn ass off tonight." </em></p><p>"Yeah, but it was worth it. We won, after all," Shepard replied aloud.</p><p><em> 'True enough,' </em>the voice admitted.</p><p>"Are you ready to go?" Jin asked, startling Shepard just a bit. "Did I startle you?"</p><p>"It's fine. I'm ready if you are," Shepard nodded as he got into the passenger's seat.</p><p>"Do you want to grab something to eat before I take you home— my treat," Jin offered with a smile.</p><p>"Nah. I'm too goddamn tired to eat," Shepard replied with a crooked smile.</p><p>"You know, if I were you— I'd think about joining Cerberus. You would feel a lot better. You'd be less tired and have more energy for— other things," Jin explained as he ran a hand up Shepard's thigh— stopping to rub the flesh he found there.</p><p>"Yeah. I ain't you, though. I'm a glutton for punishment," Shepard joked with a wink.</p><p>"You joke, but something tells me there's a lot of truth in that statement," Jin grinned as he continued to rub Shepard through his jeans.</p><p>"Can you please stop doing that? I really don't feel like being hard right now," Shepard admitted, causing Jin to reluctantly remove his hand.</p><p>"So, where do you live?" Jin asked curiously.</p><p>"Just drop me off on the corner. I can walk the rest of the way. It's not far," Shepard requested as he glanced out the window.</p><p>"It's no trouble, you know. I can take you all the way," Jin offered.</p><p>"You already did," Shepard said with a cheeky grin.</p><p>"Funny— you're a funny guy," Jin smiled in amusement. "Okay. We're here. I still don't understand why you won't allow me to take you home."</p><p>"I like to walk," Shepard admitted with a shrug as he opened the car door.</p><p>"Wait! Don't I get a goodbye kiss?" Jin asked with a pout.</p><p>"Not tonight," Shepard replied, causing Jin to grab his arm harshly.</p><p>"One kiss isn't going to kill you," Jin said in a demanding tone.</p><p>"Fuck you, rich-boy," Shepard growled as he yanked his arm free of Jin's grip. "You don't get to boss me around. I ain't your fucking toy! And I sure as hell ain't your goddamn boyfriend. If you ever touch me like that again, I'll tear your goddamn arm off. Are we clear?"</p><p>Jin's eyes went wide in surprise at Shepard's words. "Y—you're right. I apologize. I was too forward. It won't happen again," Jin assured the blue-eyed blonde.</p><p>"No— it won't," Shepard said as he slammed the car door behind him. </p><p>"I'll text you soon," Jin called out, causing Shepard to shrug as he continued to make his way down the street. </p><p>"FUCK! Goddamn DTES boys," Jin yelled as he hit his steering wheel in frustration. "Calm down, Jin. He's just white-trash. He'll forget all about this little incident, and you'll have him in bed again in no time." Jin tried his best to calm himself before finally driving away.</p><p>"That fucker better never try that shit again," Shepard growled as he continued on his path home.</p><p><em> 'If I were you, I'd forget he even exists. He's bad news, and you fucking know it,' </em>the voice seriously suggested.</p><p>"I'm seriously considering it. The sex ain't even that good. And I swear to god— he doesn't seem to fucking hear me when I talk. He ain't worth it. I'm just fucking done," Shepard admitted as he finally made it home.</p><p>Shepard wasted no time unlocking the door, eager to be home.</p><p>"I'm home," Shepard announced as he made his way towards his room.</p><p>"Did you eat anything?" Kahlee asked, catching him just before he turned the doorknob to his room.</p><p>"Uh, yeah. I ate a chicken salad," Shepard lied— not wanting his mother to worry, "I didn't break my diet."</p><p>"That's good," Kahlee smiled in approval. "Do you wanna watch a movie with us?"</p><p>"Not tonight. I'm gonna take a shower and then go straight to bed," Shepard explained nervously.</p><p>"Are you sure you're okay? That hit tonight really scared me," Kahlee admitted as she made her way to her son's side.</p><p>"It wasn't that bad, really. It just knocked the breath out of me," Shepard explained truthfully.</p><p>"Okay. I love you," Kahlee said as she kissed her son's cheek. </p><p>"I love you too," Shepard said as he hugged his mother tight.</p><p>"Goodnight, sweetheart," Kahlee said as she made her way down the hall.</p><p>"Goodnight, Mom," Shepard smiled as he closed his bedroom door.<strong><br/>
</strong></p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next Chapter:  Shepard's team meets Kai Leng's team on the ice for the first time—</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Defeated</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The Renegades meet the Hellhounds for the first time on the ice—</p><p>Shepard runs into someone he never thought he'd see again—</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A few weeks had passed since Shepard's last encounter with Jin, and even though the young man was persistent— Shepard chose to ignore him indefinitely—</p><p>"John, are you awake? You're going to be late if you don't hurry," Kahlee called out to her from behind his locked door. "John?"</p><p>Shepard groaned a bit as he finally found the will to get up from the bed.</p><p>"I'm up," Shepard replied— loudly, as he rubbed his face hard with both hands.</p><p>"Breakfast is on the table," Kahlee informed her son, "We won't be able to be at your game tonight. Your dad has to work, and I promised Hailey we would go dress shopping."</p><p><em> 'Again? That girl really can't make up her mind, can she?' </em>The voice said in amusement.</p><p>"Hailey's always been like that," Shepard shrugged before answering his mother, "That's okay. We'll probably get annihilated anyway. Nothing to see, really."</p><p>"Poor choice of words, John," Kahlee scolded from behind the door. "Anyway, I'm going on ahead. I'll see you at school. Try not to be too late. I love you, sweetheart."</p><p>"Love you too, Mom," Shepard called back as he slowly got dressed. </p><p><em> 'What— no shower? I'm shocked,' </em>the voice teased with a playful tone.</p><p>"I took a shower late last night. I think I'm good," Shepard replied as he made his way to the empty kitchen—</p><p>"I must <b>really</b> be running late," Shepard mumbled as he sat down in front of his breakfast plate. "It looks good."</p><p><em> 'It </em> <b> <em>is </em> </b> <em> good— now eat,' </em>the voice demanded as Shepard began to eat his breakfast.</p><p>He ate about half before he decided he'd had enough.</p><p><em> 'What the hell's wrong with you? You ain't eating nearly enough lately. Are you feeling okay?' </em> The voice asked in concern.</p><p>"I'm fine— and I eat plenty. I just ain't hungry right now," Shepard admitted as he threw the leftovers out. "I guess I could wash the plate for Mom, huh?"</p><p><em> 'If you must— but make it quick, eh. You're already late,' </em>the voice reminded the blue-eyed teen.</p><p>"I think I'll take my bike. It'll be easier for me since I gotta carry my hockey bag," Shepard thought aloud as he grabbed his keys and made his way to the garage.</p><p><em> 'You do know that your mother is going to throw an absolute fit when she realizes you drove to school,' </em>the voice warned.</p><p>"She's too busy thinking of the wedding to even notice. Trust me— it'll be fine," Shepard shrugged as he put on his helmet before pulling out of the driveway— heading straight to his destination.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Lunchtime—</b>
</p><p>"So, Loco— be honest— what do you think our chances are tonight?" James asked in a serious tone as he took a bite of his food.</p><p>"Seriously— we're fucked," Shepard replied— truthfully, as he bit into an apple.</p><p>"Come on, Loco! You're supposed to say things like:  'Don't worry, Vega, we got this! We can handle anything!' You know, inspirational shit like that," James whined to his Captain.</p><p>Shepard grinned. "You wanted me to be honest."</p><p>"Do we really not stand a chance against these guys?" Garrus asked curiously.</p><p>"Honestly, Garrus— I have no fucking idea. All I can tell you is— from what I've seen— they're a great team— dirty as fuck, but a great team," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p><p>"I think we're pretty damn good, though," Paul proudly chimed in, "And I know we have the better Captain."</p><p>"Thanks, Miller," Shepard grinned as he continued to eat his apple.</p><p>"Is that all you're going to eat?" A voice called out, causing Shepard to turn his head.</p><p>"I had a big breakfast," Shepard lied with a wink as Kaidan took a seat next to the blue-eyed blonde. "Here— let me move that outta your way," Shepard insisted as he moved his half-eaten sandwich to the side.</p><p>"Thanks," Kaidan smiled as he slowly began to eat his lunch.</p><p>"Are you gonna be able to make it to the game?" Shepard asked, his knee bouncing nervously.</p><p>"I don't know yet. I don't want to promise you something, then not follow through on it. It isn't fair to you," Kaidan whispered as Shepard let his hand brush Kaidan's leg underneath the table.</p><p>"I understand," Shepard smiled halfheartedly. "Honestly, I got a bad feeling about tonight's game. I don't think I can cover for Jake and his buddies— not against this team. They're too goddamn good. And Kai Leng's a fast motherfucker. Hell, he's probably faster than me."</p><p>"Maybe— on an off day," Kaidan admitted with a shrug. "I don't think anyone's as fast as you when you're at your best."</p><p>Shepard couldn't help but grin. "You think so, huh?"</p><p>"Absolutely," Kaidan said with a wink.</p><p>"You wanna come over tomorrow? We can hang out— maybe talk a little," Shepard asked, making sure not to speak too loud.</p><p>"I'd like that," Kaidan agreed with a smile. "I'll text you tonight, and we can decide on a time."</p><p>"Sounds good," Shepard nodded as Garrus rose from the table.</p><p>"Well, I hate to rush you boys, but we better head out," Garrus suggested, tapping on his watch for emphasis.</p><p>"Well— Kaidan, if I don't see you tonight, hopefully, I'll see you tomorrow," Shepard grinned as he slowly got up from his seat at the table.</p><p>"Good luck tonight," Kaidan called out, causing Shepard to turn around. "And <b>try</b> to stay safe, eh."</p><p>"I shall do my best," Shepard grinned with a mock salute— giving Kaidan one last wink as he followed his teammates out of the cafeteria.</p><p>"Is it just me, or do you think Shepard's lost a little weight?" Rahna asked, her face showing her concern.</p><p>"Maybe a little," Kaidan shrugged, unwilling to entertain the thought of Shepard being anything less than perfect, "It's definitely not a lot. In fact, it's probably intentional. He might be trying for a little extra speed on the ice."</p><p>"I suppose. You <b>would</b> know better than I," Rahna teased, loving the beautiful shade of red that crossed Kaidan's face.</p><p>"Yeah— I don't know as much as I'd like," Kaidan admitted truthfully.</p><p>Rahna couldn't help but laugh. "And just whose fault is that?"</p><p>"Guilty— I know," Kaidan put his hands up in defeat.</p><p>"Seriously, Kaidan— make a move already— a <b>real </b>move," Rahna suggested. </p><p>"I will— eventually," Kaidan replied with a shrug as he continued to eat his lunch.</p><p>"You are impossible," Rahna sighed as she waited patiently for the bell to ring.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"Tonight's game is going to be— by far— the toughest goddamn game you've ever played this season. That being said— I think we can win this goddamn thing," Zaeed said as he continued to scan his players— looking for any obvious signs of distress. "As long as you do as you're told, we should do just fine. Shepard, you do what you've been doing all year, and we just might win this thing."</p><p>"I'll do my job," Shepard promised as he adjusted his gear.</p><p>"I know you will. You always do," Zaeed nodded in approval. "Face-off is in twenty. Feel free to hit the ice early— maybe get your goddamn blood flowing. Let's show these Cerberus bastards that we can hang with the big boys."</p><p>Once Zaeed was safely out of earshot, Jake began his usual ranting—</p><p>"So, great Captain— how are you planning on handling things tonight? You gonna hog the puck— like you always do?" Jake asked in a disrespectful manner.</p><p>"I'll do whatever I have to," Shepard replied calmly. "Since you refuse to get off your ass and actually <strong>do </strong>something, I guess I'll just have to do your goddamn job for you. You know— like I <b>always </b>do. Reed, Evans, Pearson, and Adler— you think you're so goddamn great— you four ain't shit! All you guys do is stand around and watch as the game passes you by. The only man on your entire string that's worth a damn is Vale. He's a fine defenseman. It's a goddamn shame that he's stuck with such a shitty line."</p><p>"Fuck you, Shepard! We've put up with your smartass mouth long enough," Jake growled as he moved towards Shepard.</p><p>James immediately held Shepard in place.</p><p>"Reed, step the fuck back! Loco didn't say anything that wasn't the goddamn truth," James admitted truthfully.</p><p>"Vega's right," Miller nodded as he took his place beside his Captain. </p><p>"Are you guys seriously taking his side?" Jake asked in disbelief.</p><p>"Yeah, we really are," Vale replied as he too took his place by Shepard's side.</p><p>"Nick Vale, you are a goddamn traitor," Jake screamed in irritation.</p><p>"No, Jake Reed— <b>you're </b>the traitor. All four of you. You guys have done nothing but bitch this entire season. We're sick of it," Nick admitted truthfully.</p><p>"That's enough arguing," Shepard announced. "Let's just <b>try</b> to salvage the rest of the night. The game hasn't even started, and we're already divided. And that's on me— I let him bait me. If we lose tonight— I'll take full responsibility. So, can we please just focus?" Shepard suggested as he put his helmet on.</p><p>"You heard the man," Garrus grinned, "Let's just focus on the task at hand. I'm sure we can all agree to do our best. So— let's do our best, eh."</p><p> The entire locker room— sans the infamous four— erupted in cheers as they made their way to the ice.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>Jack couldn't help but flinch every time her friend was slammed hard into the boards—</p><p>"Oh, come on! It's like they're going out of their way to hit him," Jack yelled as she paced the sidelines with her father.</p><p>"That's, <b>exactly</b>, what they're doing. They see him as a threat, so— they're trying their damndest to take him out of the equation. The Hellhounds are nothing more than a bunch of goddamn pussies," Zaeed told his daughter as he continued to assess the situation.</p><p>"It fucking sucks! They need to lay off him," Jack complained in irritation.</p><p>"Yeah, but they ain't doing anything illegal, Jack. So far, they've all been clean hits. They're brutal, but they're fair. Shepard's tough, though— they're little attacks won't stop him," Zaeed stated proudly.</p><p>"True enough. I just hope they don't do something desperate and dirty," Jack said as Shepard broke away with the puck, racing towards the net. "Goddamn, he's fast!"</p><p>They watched with a pleased expression as Shepard scored another goal.</p><p>"Take that, you goddamn bastards," Zaeed yelled proudly.</p><p>"Hey, we really got a shot here. Shepard's put us up by two. As long as they don't pull any shady shit, we might squeeze a win outta this," Jack grinned as Zaeed called for a shift change. </p><p>"Hell of a shot, Shepard, " Zaeed praised as Shepard took a drink from his bottle.</p><p>"Thanks. So far, so good," Shepard grinned.</p><p>"Sorry to put you on double duty," Zaeed sincerely apologized. "It seems those goddamn brats still refuse to pull their weight."</p><p>"So far, they've pretty much ignored me," Shepard shrugged, "So— it's just business as usual."</p><p>"Yeah. You got that right," Zaeed grinned as Garrus and Paul changed shifts. "Good job out there, you two. Miller, you did a helluva job getting that puck to Shepard."</p><p>"Thanks, Coach. It wasn't easy. They're pretty quick," Paul admitted as he took a drink from his bottle.</p><p>"Leng's the real problem. He's so freaking fast that I can't catch him when he breaks away," Garrus explained in frustration. "Shepard's the only one that even has a chance at hanging with him."</p><p>"I feel pretty good, right now," Shepard assured his fellow teammates, "Hopefully, we can pad our lead before the third. That's, usually, when I start to falter a bit, especially when it comes to speed. By then, I'm just too goddamn tired—  so, it reasons to say that there'll be no way I can catch him in the third."</p><p>"That makes sense," Zaeed agreed, "I think in the third, we'll have to concentrate on keeping the puck the hell away from Leng."</p><p>"It's better than nothing," Garrus agreed.</p><p>"Win or lose— I'm goddamn proud of you boys." Zaeed praised as he motioned Shepard back onto the ice.</p><p>Everything went well for about thirty seconds—</p><p>Shepard managed to knock the puck from the opposing team's control— sending it flying towards Garrus. And just a few seconds later, Shepard was rushed by none other than Kai Leng.</p><p>Shepard was knocked hard into the boards— the violent shock causing the young blonde's breath to leave his body.</p><p>As he struggled to his feet— desperately gasping for air— Shepard felt a sharp pain come down on his left side as he was hit once again.</p><p>"What the fuck!? That's bullshit," Jack screamed as she watched her friend hit the ice— all the weight falling on Shepard's left shoulder.</p><p>"Goddammit!" Zaeed yelled as he waited to see if Shepard could stand.</p><p>Kai Leng skated towards Shepard— stopping to loom over the now injured blonde.</p><p>"You should have joined us, Shepard. This is all on you," Leng grinned as he quickly skated away, announcing to the Hellhounds's coach that Shepard was done for the night.</p><p>Shepard could already diagnose the problem— he had successfully managed to dislocate his left shoulder— again.</p><p>"Goddammit," Shepard whispered as he finally managed to stand— shocking Leng with his tenacity.</p><p>Shepard could hear the snickering of his fellow teammate, Jake, but decided to ignore it as he made his way off the ice.</p><p>Garrus started to follow when his path was blocked by a very serious looking Jack.</p><p>"Sorry, Vakarian, but you know the rules. There's still a game going on, and if I know my pops, he's about to be ejected. You're the goddamn Alternate Captain, so it'll be up to you to finish the fucking game."</p><p>"Fuck that! Shepard's my friend, and he's hurt," Garrus explained anxiously, "I need to know how he's doing."</p><p>"I'll check on Shepard. He walked off under his own power, so I'm pretty sure it ain't that bad," Jack explained, hoping to ease Garrus's mind.</p><p>"Yeah— Fine. I'll go see what the hell's going on with the gameplay," Garrus said as he headed back to the sidelines.</p><p>"Where's the goddamn penalty? That was an intentional goddamn hit with the intent to harm. You'd have to be goddamn blind not to see it! So do your fucking job and put his arse in the box," Zaeed demanded, growing more-and-more angry by the second.</p><p>"Look, you refuse to calm down and see things objectively, so I have no choice but to eject you from the game. Have fun in the locker room," the referee stated smugly.</p><p>"You goddamn weasel! I should kick your arse right here," Zaeed threatened as Paul and Nick led him from the ice.</p><p>"We know how you feel, Coach— but we can't lose you. These assholes would just love a reason to ban you for the rest of the season," Paul explained, causing Zaeed to calm down a bit.</p><p>"You're right," Zaeed agreed as he rubbed his face hard in frustration. "I'm gonna go check in on Shepard and see what the damage is."</p><p>Zaeed sighed hard as he made his way to the locker room—</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"How bad is it?" Zaeed asked anxiously.</p><p>"We don't know yet. The doctor's taking his sweet-ass time getting here. Shepard swears it's not bad, though," Jack replied quietly.</p><p>"Why don't you go help Vakarian," Zaeed instructed his anxious daughter. "He's gonna need all the help he can get. I'll let you know if it's anything serious."</p><p>"Sure thing, Pops," Jack nodded as she spoke. "Hang in there, Shepard."</p><p>"Will do," Shepards winked— giving Jack a reassuring grin.</p><p>"How painful is it?" Zaeed asked in concern. "Can you move it?"</p><p>"It ain't bad. I can move it, but it hurts like a bitch when I do. My shoulder is dislocated. Once they pop it in place, I'll be good to go."</p><p>"I highly doubt that," Zaeed said with an amused grin, "I'm pretty sure you're done for the night. Let's just hope it's only for the rest of the game, eh."</p><p>"Sorry it took me so long— I went out for a bite to eat after the first period, and ended up getting stuck in traffic," the sports medic explained as he quickly got to work. "Can you tell me exactly what happened?"</p><p>"Nothin' to tell, really," Shepard replied, "I took a dirty hit, and the guy landed on my shoulder. It dislocated when I landed."</p><p>"You're certain it's dislocated?" The medic asked as he gently removed Shepard's chest protector.</p><p>"I'm positive. It's nothing new. It happens sometimes," Shepard admitted truthfully. "I should be good to go once you pop it back in."</p><p>"Well, it's <b>definitely</b> dislocated. I'm going to need some assistance to try and get it back in place," the medic announced.</p><p>"I'll help— just tell me what to do," Zaeed volunteered as he moved to stand next to Shepard.</p><p>"Two people ain't necessary," Shepard informed them, "I can put it back in myself. The only reason I haven't, yet, is because they wouldn't let me."</p><p>"Are you sure you want to try it on your own? It's going to hurt quite a bit," the medic warned.</p><p>"Nah. It ain't gonna be too bad," Shepard insisted as he grabbed his left arm and pulled it forward until the joint suddenly popped back in place. "See, that wasn't too bad," Shepard insisted as the medic began taping his shoulder.</p><p>"You'll need to rest the arm. Ice it when you get home. You know the drill," the medic grinned.</p><p>"How long will he be out?" Zaeed asked, dreading the answer.</p><p>"Just a few weeks," the medic assured them with a smile. "It isn't bad, and Shepard seems to be familiar with this type of injury.</p><p>"See, I won't even miss a game. We're on leave for the next couple weeks, so I should be good to go for the next game," Shepard explained.</p><p>"Lucky," Zaeed admitted with a grin as the end-of-game buzzer sounded. "Well, I guess we're about to see how they did without you, Captain."</p><p>It didn't take long for the players to begin filling up the locker room— their faces long and disappointed with Jack following close behind.</p><p>"Well, how bad was it?" Zaeed asked, already knowing they had been defeated.</p><p>"They lost by three. They just fell apart without Shepard. Vakarian and Miller did great, but they didn't have the stamina for double shifts," Jack admitted truthfully, "Muscles did his job, but they were too goddamn fast. He needs to work on his blocking speed."</p><p>"Yeah. I figured they'd fall apart. Shepard's fine, by the way. He'll be good to go after the long break— so, no worries, eh," Zaeed assured his daughter before turning his attention to the team—</p><p>"Shepard, you can go ahead and hit the showers. Feel free to head on home when you're done," Zaeed insisted as Shepard reluctantly did as he was told.</p><p><em> 'Oh, man, they are gonna get their asses chewed out," </em>the voice surmised.</p><p>"Yeah— I can't help but feel like I should be there too," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p><p><em> 'Why? You didn't do anything wrong,' </em>the voice reminded the blue-eyed teen.</p><p>"I'm sure most of the guys didn't do anything wrong," Shepard explained, "That's why I feel like I should be there too."</p><p><em> 'Massani knows what he's doing. So, do me a favour, and trust him for chrissakes,' </em>the voice insisted as Shepard stepped into the shower.</p><p>"I'll try," Shepard sighed as he let the water flow over his tired body.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>Once Shepard was done with his shower, he decided to bypass the locker room— not wanting to deal with Jake and his friends.</p><p><em> 'You rode your bike here. How the hell are you gonna get home?' </em>The voice asked curiously.</p><p>"My shoulder ain't that bad. I can drive just fine," Shepard insisted as he made his way to his motorcycle.</p><p><em> 'I hope you're right. You need to eat something, by the way,' </em>the voice reminded the young blue-eyed blonde.</p><p>"Yeah— I know. I'll stop and get something before I head home," Shepard said as he pulled out of the parking lot.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p><em> 'A friggin' chicken wrap? </em> <b> <em>That's</em> </b> <em> what you're getting,' </em>the voice teased lightheartedly.</p><p>"Are you really teasing me about my food choices?" Shepard asked, shaking his head in amusement as he waited at the drive-thru window for his order.</p><p><em> 'If I didn't tease you, you'd go insane with worry,' </em>the voice joked.</p><p>"True enough," Shepard grinned as the cashier handed him the takeout bag. "Thanks."</p><p>Once Shepard received his order, he drove to a quiet area to eat.</p><p><em> 'That club's new. I wonder what kind it is,' </em> the voice asked curiously.</p><p>"Dunno. If I wasn't tired, I'd check it out," Shepard admitted as he took a bite of his wrap.</p><p>Shepard sat in silence as he continued to eat his dinner. </p><p>"Well, I'm done," Shepard announced as he put the mostly eaten wrap into the takeout bag before tossing it into the nearby trash can.</p><p>"The stars are out," Shepard smiled as he sat on top of the picnic table to stare up at the stars. "They're pretty."</p><p>"Not as pretty as your eyes, beautiful," the nostalgic words rang out, causing Shepard to immediately search out the speaker.</p><p>"Elliot," Shepard whispered, eyes going wide in surprise.</p><p>"Yep. It's me," Elliot laughed as he nodded towards the empty spot beside Shepard, "Do you mind if I sit next to you for a while?"</p><p>"Uh, no," Shepard replied as he bounced his knee nervously.</p><p><em> 'Wow— So, that's Elliot. He grew up a bit, huh,' </em> the voice said awkwardly. <em> 'Honestly, I'm surprised he even spoke to you. I mean, the last time you two saw each other, you broke his goddamn nose and cracked his eye-socket.' </em></p><p>"Um— I—I'm surprised you spoke to me. We didn't exactly part on good terms," Shepard admitted as he continued to bounce his knee.</p><p>"Yeah. That hurt for a while. But— I deserved it. Me and my big mouth, eh," Elliot chuckled bitterly. "I'm not mad at you, Shepard. Hell, I missed you like crazy when you were taken away."</p><p>"For what it's worth— I'm sorry I hurt you," Shepard apologized quietly.</p><p>"Ah, don't worry about it," Elliot grinned. "I— uh— I heard about Aaron. I'm sorry— that must have been rough. I never liked him, but I know how much you loved him."</p><p>"Yeah," Shepard mumbled as he looked to the stars once more.</p><p>"I watched a few of your games," Elliot said as he elbowed Shepard gently. "You're still the best. I'm glad you're playing on a real team."</p><p>"So— what have you been up to? It's been a while," Shepard inquired.</p><p>"Well, I've been working as a bartender for a little over a year now. Before then, I was doing what I always do," Elliot replied honestly.</p><p>"Do you like your job?" Shepard asked curiously.</p><p>"I do," Elliot admitted. "It suits my lifestyle. So, are you seeing anyone nowadays?"</p><p>"Same old Elliot," Shepard laughed, shaking his head in amusement. "No. I'm talking to a guy, but I don't know if anything will ever come of it."</p><p>"What is he, an idiot," Elliot asked with an amused grin. "Most guys would jump at the chance to get with someone as beautiful as you."</p><p>"You'd be surprised," Shepard chuckled as he chanced a glance at Elliot.</p><p>"You still have the most beautiful sapphire-blue eyes," Elliot whispered as he continued to stare into Shepard's eyes.</p><p>"What are you up to, Elliot?" Shepard asked anxiously.</p><p>"You know me well, beautiful," Elliot admitted with an amused chuckle. "When I saw you— sitting here— I wasn't even sure it was you. You're so much bigger than I remember."</p><p>"Well, yeah. I was thirteen back then," Shepard reminded the shady man.</p><p>"That is an excellent point," Elliot laughed. "Anyway— there was something familiar about you, so I took a closer look. When I saw you staring at the stars, I knew for sure— it was you."</p><p>"That's great and all, but you still didn't answer my question," Shepard reminded him.</p><p>"Right. My bad. We didn't part on the best of terms, and well, I'd like to remedy that," Elliot said as he continued to stare at the blue-eyed blonde.</p><p>"Ah, I get it now— you wanna fuck me," Shepard replied in an amused tone.</p><p>"Just one more time— for old time's sake. It'll give us something nice to remember whenever we think of each other," Elliot explained, hoping to sway his ex-lover.</p><p><em> 'You are seriously considering this. I know he'll always be a part of you— first relationship and all that— but this fucker can't be trusted,' </em>the voice reminded the blue-eyed blonde.</p><p>'He might have changed. I mean— it's been four years. Besides, I would like to have one last memory with him— one that isn't filled with that lingering feeling of hurt and betrayal. So, yeah— I'm considering it,' Shepard admitted truthfully.</p><p>"Well, whattaya say, beautiful? You wanna dance one last time?" Elliot asked, hoping Shepard would agree.</p><p>"Just you and me? Nobody else? I ain't letting nobody watch this time, Elliot," Shepard warned.</p><p>Elliot laughed in amusement, his chocolate-brown eyes glittering in the moonlight.</p><p>"Just you and me— I promise," Elliot assured the nervous blonde. "This time, I'll do it right— no games."</p><p>"You better keep your word, 'cause I ain't in the mood for games, Elliot," Shepard admitted.</p><p>"Is that a yes, beautiful?" Elliot asked, feeling hopeful about the answer.</p><p>"Sure— you and me— one last dance," Shepard nodded in agreement as he hopped down from the table. "You can choose where we do it."</p><p>"There's a pretty nice place near here. It's nothing fancy, but it's comfortable," Elliot suggested.</p><p>"Sounds good. I can pay if you want me to," Shepard offered as he made his way to his bike.</p><p>"Is this your bike?" Elliot asked with an approving grin.</p><p>"Yep," Shepard replied simply.</p><p>"She's a beauty," Elliot said with a wink.</p><p>"Do you want to take my bike?" Shepard asked, cocking his head to the side in amusement.</p><p>"Hell, yes! I mean— if you don't mind, that would be great?" Elliot said, the excitement evident in his voice.</p><p>Shepard couldn't help but laugh. "Just tell me where we're going, and we'll be on our way," Shepard instructed as he handed Elliot a helmet. "You might feel a bit uncomfortable. My hockey bag is on the back, so you'll probably have to sit pretty close to me."</p><p>"That shouldn't be a problem. I have no problem getting closer to you," Elliot said as he suggestively wrapped his arms around Shepard's narrow waist.</p><p>"You really haven't changed, huh," Shepard grinned as he moved to take his place on the bike. "Well— where are we going?"</p><p>"There's a hotel just around the corner from here. You can't miss it. They have a big neon red vacancy sign out front— you can't miss it," Elliot assured him as he took his place behind Shepard.</p><p>"Are you ready?" Shepard asked as he started the bike.</p><p>"Whenever you're ready— I'm game," Elliot grinned.</p><p>"Hold on tight," Shepard instructed as he pulled out of the parking lot.</p><p>"Don't worry, beautiful— I'll hold on real tight," Elliot mumbled as he held Shepard even tighter as they made their way to their destination.</p><p>"Where are you going now?" Jin asked aloud as he quietly followed the two young men, making sure to keep his distance in order to prevent suspicion.</p><p>Once the two young men had parked— and had disappeared into the hotel— Jin parked his car on the opposite side of the parking area— making sure his view of Shepard's bike was unobstructed.</p><p>"Elliot had better get some good photos. He didn't give me anything to work with at the rest area," Jin complained as his phone chimed— </p><p>"Jin here." … "Hello, Kai." … "Are you sure? I think you've been misinformed." … "I just saw Shepard, and, believe me, he looks fine. There wasn't any sign of distress. Your team may have injured him, but it obviously wasn't very serious." … "Forgive me. I wasn't trying to disrespect you— I just thought you should know the truth." … "Actually, I have an idea that might take care of your problem. I'm working on it now. If it doesn't pan out, I'll use more extreme measures— either way, he won't be a problem for long." … "I'll keep you updated. We'll meet for lunch. How does tomorrow sound?" … "Excellent. I'll see you then." </p><p>Once Jin ended the call, he waited patiently in his car— a high-end camera sitting at the ready.</p><p>"Elliot, you better come through, or so help me, you aren't getting a dime," Jin growled aloud as he made himself comfortable.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next Chapter:  Shepard and Elliot dance one last time—</p><p> </p><p>I just had to have Shepard and Elliot meet again. Thanks for reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. One Last Dance</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Shepard and Elliot have one last dance—</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>***WARNING***<br/>GRAPHIC SEXUAL CONTENT</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"It's a nice room," Shepard whispered as he put his hockey bag down next to the door. "It's very— spacious."</p><p>"I told you it was a nice place— way better than that flea-bag place we used to go to," Elliot said with a fond smile.</p><p>"That is very true," Shepard admitted as he took his leather jacket off and tossed it on the nearby sofa. "There's even a couch."</p><p>"We could do it there too— if you want," Elliot suggested— wiggling his eyebrows for emphasis.</p><p>"We'll see," Shepard grinned as he sat down on the couch.</p><p>"Well— is it comfy?" Elliot asked as he made his way to the mini-bar.</p><p>"Very," Shepard replied as he watched Elliot closely. "What are you doing?"</p><p>"I'm raiding the mini-bar," Elliot chuckled as he looked at the selection on hand.</p><p>"Don't touch anything in that goddamn refrigerator," Shepard scolded, causing Elliot to quickly close the refrigerator door.</p><p>"Uh— okay. We won't drink," Elliot replied nervously.</p><p>"That's not what I meant," Shepard explained, shaking his head for emphasis. "If you want to drink, we can go to the liquor store and pick up something. It'll be a hell of a lot cheaper than the goddamn mini-bar."</p><p>"You'd be willing to go with me to pick something up?" Elliot asked skeptically.</p><p>"Sure," Shepard shrugged, "Is that so surprising?"</p><p>"Kinda," Elliot admitted. "I figured you'd be in a hurry to get this over with."</p><p>"Not at all. I figure if we're going to do this— we should do it right," Shepard explained seriously.</p><p>"I'm pleasantly surprised," Elliot smiled. "Can you stay the night?"</p><p>'What do you think? Should I stay,' Shepard asked silently, his brow furrowed in contemplation.</p><p><em> 'You really want this, don't you?' </em> The voice asked in a sympathetic tone. <em> 'I don't think things will turn out quite the way you think they will— but I think you should do what your heart tells you.' </em></p><p>"Can I give you my answer later?" Shepard asked anxiously.</p><p>"Sure," Elliot agreed with a nod. "You wanna head out to the liquor store now?"</p><p>"Sure," Shepard nodded as he stood up to stretch his arms over his head, wincing at the twinge in his left shoulder.</p><p>"Are you okay?" Elliot asked, noticing Shepard's small wince.</p><p>"I'm fine. I dislocated my shoulder earlier tonight during a hockey game. It's still a little sore is all," Shepard explained with a shrug. </p><p>"I hope your team won, at least," Elliot said with a wink.</p><p>"We did not," Shepard chuckled. "We actually got our asses kicked."</p><p>"They fell apart without you, huh?" Elliot surmised.</p><p>"Why do you say that?" Shepard asked, cocking his head to the side in confusion.</p><p>"You're way too good to ever lose," Elliot praised.</p><p>"Even the greats can't win all the time. I'm only human, Elliot. I lose— it happens, and it happens often," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p><p>"Look, beautiful, I've been following your team all season. This is the only game you guys have lost," Elliot reminded the blue-eyed beauty.</p><p>"I meant in life, Elliot— not just in hockey. Nevermind, it ain't important," Shepard replied as he looked towards the washroom. "I'm gonna go take a piss before we go. I'll be right back."</p><p>"I'll be waiting," Elliot grinned as Shepard disappeared behind the washroom door.</p><p>Shepard immediately got his phone out and quickly dialed his father's number—</p><p>"Anderson here," Anderson's voice rang out loud-and-clear.</p><p>"Hey, Daddy— it's me," Shepard quietly spoke. "Are you home yet?"</p><p>"Not yet— but I'm on my way. I'm picking up dinner for the family. What's up? Do you need a ride?" Anderson asked as he awaited his order.</p><p>"Not exactly. Did you hear anything about the game?"</p><p>"No. I was trying to avoid it. I'd much rather watch the game later," Anderson said, the pride obvious in his tone.</p><p>"Don't bother— we lost," Shepard admitted anxiously.</p><p>"I'm sorry to hear that, Son— but you can't win 'em all. Don't let it get you down," Anderson said, trying his best to be supportive. </p><p>"I won't. I kinda expected that outcome. We were up by two or three at one point, but I took a bad hit and dislocated my shoulder," Shepard explained nervously.</p><p>"How bad is it? Are you okay? You aren't at the hospital, are you?" Anderson asked anxiously, the concern evident in his voice.</p><p>"I'm fine, Daddy. I didn't fuck it up too bad. It just popped out— you know, just like it does sometimes when I'm at home," Shepard assured his father. "I don't want to worry Mom. Can you, please, try to talk her out of watching that goddamn game? The hit looked a lot worse than it was. I don't want her to worry about nothing."</p><p>"I understand. I'll try my best. Is that why you called— because you wanted me to handle Mom," Anderson asked in curious amusement.</p><p>"That was one reason," Shepard replied, fidgeting nervously with the edge of the sink.</p><p>"Okay. What's the other reason?" Anderson asked, dreading the reply.</p><p>"I— um— I'm not coming home tonight. I met an old friend. He wants me to hang out with him tonight," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p><p>Shepard waited nervously for his father to say something—</p><p>"Daddy? Are you there?" Shepard asked nervously.</p><p>"I'm here, Son. You know I'd rather you came home," Anderson replied truthfully.</p><p>"I know— but this is important to me. I can't explain it, Daddy," Shepard explained as he chewed his lip nervously.</p><p>"Who is this man?" Anderson asked curiously.</p><p>"Just a friend," Shepard replied simply.</p><p>"Shepard, WHO IS HE?" Anderson insisted.</p><p>"My first boyfriend," Shepard admitted truthfully. </p><p>"I see," Anderson replied in confusion. "I thought Aaron was your first boyfriend."</p><p>"No— Things didn't end so good between us— so, I never talk about him," Shepard explained nervously, knowing his father would ask questions that he would never answer.</p><p>"What happened? Did he hurt you?" Anderson asked, a sense of dread rising in his chest.</p><p>"Daddy, please don't ask me that," Shepard pleaded, "You know I ain't got no answer."</p><p>"Son, you <b>have </b> an answer. You <b>know</b> whether he hurt you or not. So— which is it," Anderson asked in an insistent tone.</p><p>"It ain't that simple, Daddy," Shepard said quietly.</p><p>"You aren't going to change your mind on this, are you?" Anderson said with a heavy sigh.</p><p>"No— I'm sorry, Daddy," Shepard apologized to his father.</p><p>"If you need me, just call or text. Be sure to be safe— wear a condom," Anderson said in a fatherly tone.</p><p>"I always do. I love you, Daddy," Shepard said, a fond smile on his handsome face.</p><p>"I love you too, Son. I'll see you tomorrow," Anderson softly replied.</p><p>"Goodnight, Daddy."</p><p>"Goodnight, Son," Anderson said as he ended the call.</p><p>
  <b>KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK—</b>
</p><p>"Are you okay in there? You ain't changing your mind, are you, beautiful," Elliot asked through the door.</p><p>Shepard took a deep breath before opening the door.</p><p>"I'm ready. Let's get going," Shepard insisted with a wink.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"That was quick," Jin grinned as he picked up his camera, eager to take some photos.</p><p>Elliot and Shepard were walking side-by-side, laughing loudly, as Elliot whispered something into the young blonde's ear—</p><p>"Do you mind if I hold your hand? We used to do that a lot, remember?" Elliot asked with a sweet smile.</p><p>"I don't mind," Shepard shrugged as Elliot took his left hand, holding it tightly in his own.</p><p>"The liquor store is at the end of the street," Elliot replied with a smile.</p><p>"I know," Shepard nodded.</p><p>"Damn, you're tall. I'm like 6', and I still have to look up at you," Elliot grinned, noticing just how much Shepard had changed. "How tall are you anyway?"</p><p>"Um— I'm almost 6'3"— not quite, though," Shepard answered with a yawn.</p><p>"You aren't getting sleepy on me, are you," Elliot asked, brow cocked in concern.</p><p>"Nah. I'm good. I've been a bit tired lately. Don't worry, though— I'll be good to go," Shepard assured the shorter man with a crooked grin.</p><p>"Good to know," Elliot chuckled. "It's odd to see your hair so long. Don't get me wrong— it looks good."</p><p>"I ain't had time to cut it. It makes for a damn good flow, though," Shepard joked as they walked into the liquor store.</p><p>"So— pick your poison," Elliot said as he looked at the various liquors on offer.</p><p>"It don't matter to me. Whatever you're craving is fine," Shepard said with a shrug.</p><p>"What about vodka? We're less likely to feel like shit tomorrow if we drink that," Elliot suggested.</p><p>"You really are a bartender, huh?" Shepard said in an amused tone.</p><p>"I told you I was," Elliot laughed as he took a bottle from the shelf.</p><p>"Grab two— just in case," Shepard grinned as they made their way to the counter.</p><p>Elliot quickly paid for the liquor before turning to leave.</p><p>"You ready to go, beautiful," Elliot asked, noticing how Shepard was staring out the window.</p><p>"Hey, beautiful," Elliot repeated, taking Shepard's hand in his, causing the young blonde to break his stare.</p><p>"Huh?" Shepard asked in confusion. "Did you say something?"</p><p>"I just asked if you were ready to go yet," Elliot said with a look of concern on his face. </p><p>"Yeah. I'm ready to go," Shepard grinned, trying to reassure the brown-eyed man.</p><p>The two made their way down the street hand in hand as Jin continued to take photos of the young couple.</p><p>"What were you staring at back there?" Elliot asked curiously.</p><p>"I thought I saw somebody I knew," Shepard admitted.</p><p>"Who?"</p><p>"Just some guy that won't leave me alone. We fucked a few times, but he got way too clingy," Shepard explained honestly.</p><p>"Yeah. I know the type," Elliot laughed. </p><p>"No doubt," Shepard snickered as they passed by a convenience store. "Do you have any condoms? I forgot to put any in my wallet."</p><p>"Do we need them? We never used them before," Elliot reminded his blue-eyed friend.</p><p>"Elliot, I ain't thirteen, and we ain't together no more— we haven't been for a very long time now," Shepard explained seriously.</p><p>"I'm still clean. I got tested two weeks ago," Elliot informed the young blonde. "When's the last time you got tested?"</p><p>"About a month ago," Shepard answered truthfully.</p><p>"And— are you clean?" Elliot asked curiously.</p><p>"Yeah— but— well, the truth is, I don't trust you no more, Elliot. I know that sounds cold, but I don't trust nobody no more. Hell, I ain't barebacked in well over a year. Not since Aaron. And we got tested first— just to be sure. You know damn well how much I loved Aaron— how much I'll always love Aaron, and I still made him get tested— so, you know I ain't gonna bend on this," Shepard explained, "If that's a problem, I'm sorry. But it ain't negotiable."</p><p>"Yeah. I understand. After the shit I pulled— I don't blame you," Elliot admitted, "I probably fucked you up good. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."</p><p>"Elliot, don't worry about it. It ain't important no more," Shepard insisted. "Do you have condoms, or should we stop in and get some? I need to pick up a toothbrush anyway."</p><p>"Sure. We'll stop and get a few things," Elliot agreed as they entered the store.</p><p>Once they picked up a few things, the two young men finally made their way back to the hotel room.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"Well, beautiful, would you like some vodka?" Elliot asked as he poured himself a drink.</p><p>"Sure," Shepard nodded as he made himself comfortable on the couch.</p><p>"Do you want room service or anything?" Elliot asked as he handed the vodka to Shepard.</p><p>"Nah. I already ate earlier. You can order yourself something, though," Shepard said as he drank the vodka, finishing it quickly.</p><p>"Are you nervous?" Elliot asked in amusement.</p><p>"Surprisingly, no. Why do you ask?" Shepard asked curiously.</p><p>"The way you drank that vodka straight down— it made me think that— maybe— you were a little bit nervous," Elliot explained.</p><p>"Nah. It's nothing like that," Shepard laughed as he drank some vodka straight from the bottle before offering it to Elliot.</p><p>"When in Rome—" Elliot said as he too drank straight from the bottle. "It ain't the best brand, is it?" Elliot said, scrunching his nose in disapproval.</p><p>"Nope," Shepard chuckled as he suddenly removed his shirt.</p><p>"Hot damn! You're hot as hell," Elliot praised as he licked his lips in anticipation. "I love your tattoos, by the way. I can't wait to trace them with my tongue."</p><p>Shepard couldn't help but smile at the eagerness of the young brunette. </p><p>"Feel free," Shepard replied as he took the bottle from Elliot's hand before taking another long drink.</p><p>Elliot wasted no time as he joined Shepard on the couch— kissing him deeply before tracing the words on Shepard's left side.</p><p>"You taste even better than I remember," Elliot whispered as he continued his exploration.</p><p>Shepard laughed as he pulled Elliot up for another kiss.</p><p>"Are you gonna take that shirt off, or are you waiting for me to do it for you?" Shepard asked in amusement.</p><p>"Oh— right," Elliot grinned as he quickly shed his shirt.</p><p>"Nice," Shepard grinned as he pulled Elliot closer.</p><p>They continued to kiss, taking their time with each other until Elliot grew impatient—</p><p>"Let's get these jeans off you," Elliot suggested as he began to unbutton Shepard's fly.</p><p>Once the brown-eyed man had fully unbuttoned Shepard's jeans, he quickly removed them along with the blue-eyed blonde's underwear.</p><p>"Goddamn! You are packing! I knew you'd be big— you always were," Elliot grinned as he gently kissed the tip before taking the head into his mouth. "You taste so damn good— just like I remember."</p><p>"Elliot, stop," Shepard whispered, causing Elliot to freeze in his tracks. "Take your clothes off. I wanna taste you too."</p><p>"You scared me for a second," Elliot admitted as he began taking his jeans and underwear off. "I thought you were gonna back out on me."</p><p>"Never," Shepard promised as he quickly took Elliot's sex into his hand. "I think we're both a little bigger than we used to be."</p><p>"I guess so," Elliot chuckled as he leaned in to kiss the blue-eyed beauty.</p><p>"You wanna 69," Shepard asked as he gently sucked on Elliot's neck.</p><p>"God, yes," Elliot said, moaning at the thought.</p><p>The two immediately got into position— eagerly taking each other into their wanting mouths— pleasuring each other for several minutes.</p><p>"Mmm— I'm close, babe. You were always so fucking great at this," Elliot announced before taking Shepard back into his mouth.</p><p>Shepard grinned around Elliot's cock as he took him deep into his throat, causing Elliot to jerk and spasm in pleasure.</p><p>"Fuck! I'm cumming," Elliot gasped as he continued to jerk his hips, Shepard holding him steady until he was fully spent.</p><p>Shepard slowly released Elliot's spent cock from his mouth, softly kissing the head before letting it slip from his hand.</p><p>"Did I do good," Shepard asked quietly, as Elliot lay panting by his side.</p><p>"Better than good, beautiful," Elliot admitted as he finally caught his breath. "Are you ready to cum? I can't take all of you, but I'll do my best."</p><p>"Just keep doing what you were before you came, and it won't take long," Shepard assured him as he took Shepard back into his mouth.</p><p>Just as Shepard predicted, it wasn't long before he was cumming hard. </p><p>Elliot tried desperately to swallow all Shepard had to give, but was unsuccessful, as the remnants leaked from the corners of his mouth.</p><p>"Sorry about that," Shepard apologized as he licked the cum from the edges of Elliot's mouth.</p><p>"It's fine, beautiful. You taste good," Elliot insisted as he kissed Shepard languidly.</p><p>Shepard grinned before taking another swig of vodka. </p><p>"Want some," Shepard asked as he offered the bottle to Elliot.</p><p>"I don't mind if I do," Elliot winked as he took the bottle from Shepard's hand.</p><p>A few moments later, Shepard's phone began to chime, causing the blue-eyed blonde to frown in disappointment.</p><p>"Can you hand me my jacket?" Shepard asked, motioning to the discarded jacket, now lying on the floor.</p><p>"Here you go," Elliot grinned as he handed the jacket to his former love.</p><p>"Thanks," Shepard replied as he quietly took the bottles from his inner pocket.</p><p>"Are you sick?" Elliot asked softly— afraid of the answer.</p><p>"It ain't important," Shepard shrugged as he popped the pills into his mouth before chasing them with a swig of vodka.</p><p>"You shouldn't mix prescriptions with alcohol," Elliot warned in disapproval, "They could end up making you really sick."</p><p>"I know— but I've done it before. It'll be fine," Shepard said with a shrug.</p><p>"I hope so, beautiful," Elliot whispered as he took another drink of vodka.</p><p>The two decided to finish off the bottle before making their way to the bed.</p><p>"Are you feeling okay?" Elliot asked as he brushed a strand of dark-blonde hair from Shepard's brow.</p><p>"Elliot, for the hundredth time— yes. I'm fine. Really, I am," Shepard assured the worried man before kissing him slowly.</p><p>"God, I've missed this," Elliot admitted as he kissed his way down Shepard's body.</p><p>"So, are you gonna fuck me or what?" Shepard asked with a wicked grin.</p><p>"Oh, I'm definitely going to fuck you," Elliot assured him with a smirk.</p><p>"I can't wait to feel your cock pulsing deep inside me," Shepard whispered seductively, as he licked the shell of Elliot's ear.</p><p>"And I can't wait to feel your heat again," Elliot grinned as he continued to touch Shepard all over. "Lie back on the bed, beautiful."</p><p>Shepard did as he was told, spreading his legs wide as he stroked himself slowly in anticipation.</p><p>Elliot placed two of his fingers into Shepard's mouth, loving the feel of his soft lips. "Suck them. Get them nice and wet for me."</p><p>Shepard smiled before gently sucking the fingers— his sapphire eyes blazing with lust as he stared deep into Elliot's eyes.</p><p>"You're so goddamn sexy. But— you already know that— don't you, beautiful?" Elliot whispered as he slowly removed his wet fingers from Shepard's mouth.</p><p>"How do you want me?" Shepard asked softly.</p><p>"You're perfect right where you are. Just pull your knees back against your chest," Elliot instructed as Shepard pulled his knees up tight against his chest, fully exposing himself to the young brunette.</p><p>"Beautiful," Elliot grinned as he slowly began to prepare the blue-eyed blonde— slowly adding more lubricant as he went. "You're so fucking tight. It feels amazing."</p><p>"Hn," Shepard grunted as he relaxed into the touch.</p><p>It didn't take long for Elliot to become impatient— wanting desperately to be buried deep inside the one he had always loved.</p><p>"I'm gonna fuck you now, beautiful," Elliot whispered as he retrieved a condom, quickly rolling it on before adding more lubricant to both himself and Shepard.</p><p>Elliot took his time, moving until just the head was in. "How does it feel, baby," Elliot asked, wanting Shepard to be as comfortable as possible.</p><p>"Elliot, I ain't made of glass," Shepard said in annoyance, "Don't just put the head in and stop. Give me the rest of your goddamn cock. I want you to fuck me— so fuck me, goddammit!"</p><p>Elliot couldn’t help but laugh. "You really haven't changed, have you, beautiful? You still like it rough."</p><p>"Hell, yes, I do," Shepard admitted as he kissed Elliot hard.</p><p>"Here, beautiful. Take a hit of this. It'll make me feel better. I don't want to cause you any pain," Elliot explained as he handed Shepard the tiny bottle.</p><p>"You are such a goddamn pussy sometimes," Shepard snickered as he opened the bottle and inhaled deeply through one nostril, then once more through the other.</p><p>"Better," Elliot asked with a pat to Shepard's well-muscled abdomen.</p><p>"Yep. I'm good," Shepard assured the brown-eyed man as he pulled him deeper into his body.</p><p>"That's it, baby," Elliot moaned as he slowly bottomed out, "Your ass feels so good. I can't wait to fuck you hard."</p><p>"Feels good," Shepard admitted as he wrapped his long legs around Elliot's waist. "Fuck me as hard as you want, Elliot."</p><p>Elliot kissed Shepard passionately as he continued to thrust in-and-out of Shepard's tight body— loving the feel of Shepard's body pulling him deeper-and-deeper in— the tight heat feeling incredible on his cock. </p><p>"Fuck me harder, Elliot," Shepard demanded as he pulled Elliot close to his chest, kissing the brunette as hard as he could.</p><p>Elliot began to pick up the pace, changing the angle of his thrusts just enough to hit that spot deep within Shepard's body.</p><p>"Fuck! Don't stop," Shepard whispered as his legs tightened even more around Elliot's waist,  pulling him even deeper in.</p><p>"Oh, fuck! It's so fucking good," Elliot whined as he began to fuck Shepard as hard as possible. "I'm gonna cum. I'm gonna fucking cum."</p><p>"Yeah— cum for me, baby. Show me how much you love my ass," Shepard growled, knowing just what to say to bring Elliot over the edge.</p><p>Elliot cried out as his hips began to stutter as he finally reached his peak.</p><p>Shepard just grinned as he felt Elliot swell and convulse deep within his body.</p><p>"Don't stop, Elliot. Keep cumming for me," Shepard whispered as he stroked himself hard, his hand a blur as he chased his peak.</p><p>Once Elliot caught his breath, he pushed Shepard's hand away, replacing it with his own.</p><p>"Let me be the one to make you cum, beautiful," Elliot insisted as he began to pump Shepard rapidly. </p><p>"I'm close," Shepard admitted as he struggled to reach his peak. "Finger me, Elliot. Please—"</p><p>Elliot gently pulled out of the young blonde before adding a few fingers to Shepard's well-fucked body. "There you go, baby. Does it feel good?"</p><p>"Harder, please," Shepard whined as the sweat poured off his body. "I'm so fucking close."</p><p>"Is this better, beautiful?" Elliot asked as he fingered Shepard as hard as he could, being sure to stroke the young blonde's prostate with each in-and-out motion until, finally, Shepard cried out.</p><p>Shepard's hips raised from the bed as he whined in ecstasy— his stomach becoming drenched with cum.</p><p>Elliot watched in fascination as Shepard's body finally calmed.</p><p>"Are you okay, beautiful?" Elliot asked as he took note of Shepard's erratic breathing.</p><p>"I—I'm fine," Shepard assured the nervous man as his breathing began to normalize.</p><p>"You sure," Elliot asked, obviously concerned for his ex-love.</p><p>"Yeah," Shepard promised as he slowly sat up in bed. "I'm just tired."</p><p>"Yeah," Elliot whispered as he moved to brush the damp dark-blonde hair from Shepard's sapphire-blue eyes. "You wanna call it a night."</p><p>"Nah. I'm alright," Shepard reassured him as he reached for the second bottle of vodka.</p><p>"You know— I was thinking, that maybe, you could fuck me sometime tonight," Elliot suggested with a smile. "When I'm a little more buzzed, of course. You're too damn big for me to take sober."</p><p>"You don't gotta do that, Elliot. It's alright. I don't need to fuck you. I know you ain't a huge fan of bottoming. I like getting fucked. It feels good to me," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p><p>"You are an amazing man. I really fucked up when I lost you," Elliot said as he kissed Shepard softly on the lips. "You think maybe we can go again— later on, of course."</p><p>"Sure," Shepard agreed as he kissed Elliot languidly. </p><p>"Can I take a photo of you, and maybe one of us? Nothing dirty— just from the chest up," Elliot asked nervously.</p><p>"I don't see why not," Shepard shrugged as Elliot reached for his phone.</p><p>"I really appreciate this. It means a lot to me," Elliot said as he took a quick photo of the blue-eyed beauty. "Here, I want you to see it."</p><p>"It looks fine," Shepard said with a nod before handing the phone back to his ex-love.</p><p>"Okay— just one more," Elliot whispered as he took his place beside Shepard before quickly taking the photo. "It turned out great— see."</p><p>Shepard couldn't help but smile at the photo. "It really did. Can you send this to me? I'd like to have it— to remember, yeah."</p><p>"Sure," Elliot nodded as Shepard gave him his number. "I'll delete your number if you want me to."</p><p>"That's alright," Shepard assured him with a smile.</p><p>"Look, beautiful— there's something I gotta tell you, and I don't want you to get upset— at least not until I've explained everything. Please, promise me that you'll listen," Elliot pleaded nervously.</p><p><em> 'I knew it. It wouldn't be Elliot unless he did something stupid,' </em> the voice teased with a sigh, <em> 'Alright, let's hear it.' </em></p><p>Shepard's brow furrowed as he noticed the ring on Elliot's left hand.</p><p>"Does it have anything to do with that ring?" Shepard asked quietly.</p><p>"What?" Elliot asked in confusion.</p><p>"You're wearing a goddamn wedding ring, Elliot," Shepard said with a disappointed frown.</p><p>"Oh— this," Elliot said as he spun the ring around on his finger. "Yeah, I ain't married. Well, not anymore, anyway.  I got divorced a few months ago. We were separated for a year before that. I just wear the ring to hide the goddamn tattoo the bitch made me get when I was drunk. I have a tattoo appointment next week to get it covered," Elliot explained as he showed Shepard the tattoo that read:  Deidre. </p><p>"Deidre, huh," Shepard said aloud.</p><p>"I know, you probably don't believe me, but I swear— I'm telling the truth. I'm not lying. I even have a little girl— Angelina. She's only two. Obviously, Deidre has custody of her— but I see her every other weekend," Elliot explained as he quickly showed Shepard a photo from his phone.</p><p>"She's beautiful. She looks like you," Shepard whispered as he touched the image with his fingertips. "Why didn't you tell me earlier?"</p><p>"I was afraid you wouldn't have agreed to be with me— that you wouldn't trust me," Elliot admitted truthfully. "It looks like I was right, huh?"</p><p>Shepard said nothing— he just surprised Elliot by kissing him passionately before pressing his forehead to Elliot's.</p><p>"Nothing's changed, Elliot— but you should have told me, eh." Shepard scolded the brunette.</p><p>"I know— I'm sorry. But— well, that's not what I was trying to tell you," Elliot explained nervously.</p><p>"Then what is it, Elliot?" Shepard asked in confusion.</p><p>"Tonight, just before I got off work, a guy offered me a job. It was a simple job, and he paid me damn well," Elliot admitted anxiously.</p><p>"What kind of job?" Shepard asked as a sense of dread filled him.</p><p>"It was quite easy— something I had done a hundred times over. All I had to do was meet up with a guy, seduce him and take photos of the encounter. That's it— simple," Elliot explained honestly.</p><p>"So— What? You only talked to me so you could get pictures of me naked. That's really fucked up, Elliot! Why!? Are you still that fucking pissed at me?" Shepard asked with tears in his too-blue eyes.</p><p>Elliot's heart was broken by the sight of Shepard's sad blue eyes. "Baby, please, listen to me— I didn't know it was you. The guy just pointed you out. You were sitting on the picnic table, eating your dinner when I saw you. Your hair is so much longer, and you looked so much bigger than I remembered. I swear to god I didn't realize it was you until I heard you talk about the stars. The second I heard those words, I knew it was you. And— I couldn't do it. I couldn't hurt you like that," Elliot sincerely explained as his brown-eyes filled with tears.</p><p>"Then why tell me about it now? I don't understand," Shepard asked, confused by Elliot's behaviour.</p><p>"Because I thought you should know— somebody wants to ruin you, beautiful— somebody with a lot of money and a lot of connections. I don't know what you did to piss them off, but they're pissed. I want you to be careful," Elliot replied honestly.</p><p>"Who paid you? What was their name?" Shepard asked anxiously.</p><p>"I don't know his name. He was an Asian guy, that's all I know," Elliot admitted truthfully.</p><p>"Jin Leng," Shepard said with a sigh. "Thanks for telling me. I'll handle it. There ain't no need to worry about it."</p><p>"Are you sure?" Elliot asked, still feeling uneasy about the entire situation.</p><p>Shepard took another long drink from the bottle of vodka. "Let's not let that cunt ruin the rest of our night. I think it's time we started making each other feel better, don't you?"</p><p>"Yeah. I'd like that," Elliot agreed with a warm smile.</p><p>"You promised to fuck me again, so let's get to it, eh," Shepard said with a suggestive wink as he pulled Elliot closer.</p><p>The two fucked well into the night— going until both men were truly spent— bordering on the edge of exhaustion before collapsing in a heap of limbs—</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>Elliot was the first to stir at around noon the following morning—</p><p>"Hn—" Elliot yawned as he moved to look at the beautiful figure sleeping beside him. "My angel," Elliot whispered as he kissed the blue-eyed beauty's temple.</p><p>Elliot took a chance and carefully wrapped his arm around Shepard's narrow waist before moving to place his hand on the center of the young blonde's chest— eyes going wide at the rhythm he found there.</p><p>"Shepard, beautiful, wake up! Come on, Shepard, wake up," Elliot called out as he slapped Shepard hard, trying desperately to wake him. "Please, wake up! You're gonna have a goddamn heart attack."</p><p>Realizing that nothing was working, Elliot grabbed a glass. He filled it with cold water and quickly threw it on the sleeping young man.</p><p>"Goddammit, Elliot," Shepard mumbled as he slowly sat up in the bed. "What the hell did you do that for?"</p><p>"You scared the hell out of me, Shepard! In case you haven't noticed, your goddamn heart rate is through the motherfucking roof," Elliot yelled, still in a panic.</p><p>"What?" Shepard asked, obviously confused by the young brunette's ranting.</p><p>Elliot's eyes went wide as he ran into the washroom— returning with a wet cloth, he gently placed it on Shepard's nose.</p><p>"Your nose is bleeding. It's bleeding pretty bad," Elliot whispered, his hands shaking in fear.</p><p>"Huh?" Shepard mumbled as he glanced down at his chest. </p><p>Streaks of blood covered his naked chest, dripping onto the white sheet, soaking it with crimson.</p><p>"Goddammit!"</p><p>"That's all you have to say?" Elliot laughed a nervous laugh. "I think I should take you to the ER."</p><p>"NO," Shepard growled as Elliot continued to apply pressure to his nose.</p><p>"Look— you're bleeding like a stuck pig, and your heart rate is all fucked up. You're obviously sick," Elliot scolded as his hands continued to tremble.</p><p>"It's just a nosebleed. I'll be fine," Shepard insisted as he waited for the bleeding to stop. </p><p>"Shepard, this is NOT a normal nosebleed. Please, baby, let me take you to the ER," Elliot pleaded once more, hoping the man he loved would see reason.</p><p>"El, I swear to god if you don't stop mentioning the hospital, I'm gonna punch you in the goddamn throat," Shepard warned his ex-love.</p><p>"God, I missed you," Elliot smiled as he nervously checked the blood flow, "It's still pouring, babe. Are you feeling okay?"</p><p>"Yeah— just a little tired," Shepard admitted truthfully, "I'd really like to go back to sleep— at least for a few more hours."</p><p>"Well, as soon as your nose stops bleeding, I'll let you, but until then— forget it," Elliot insisted as he continued to monitor the bleeding. "This cloth is soaked through. Can you hold it until I get a bowl of water and some extra ones?"</p><p>Shepard just nodded as Elliot moved to retrieve the necessary supplies.</p><p>Upon his return, the young man immediately began to rinse the bloodied cloth. Elliot's brow furrowing as the crystal clear water turned a bright red hue the moment the once-white cloth touched the water.</p><p>"Here's a fresh one," Elliot explained as he pressed it to Shepard’s nose.</p><p>By the time Shepard's nosebleed had ended, they had used up four new cloths— causing Elliot to become nauseous at the thought.</p><p>"Sleep— now," Shepard mumbled as he curled onto his side, looking just a shade paler than he had been the night before.</p><p>"Okay, beautiful—you can sleep a while. I'll watch over you, I promise," Elliot whispered as he kissed Shepard softly on the cheek.</p><p>Elliot watched Shepard closely for about three hours when the young blonde began to stir.</p><p>"What time is it?" Shepard asked with a yawn, trying his best to wipe the sleep from his eyes.</p><p>"It's about 4:30," Elliot replied as he gently stroked Shepard's dark-blonde hair.</p><p>"Is it really that late?" Shepard asked anxiously.</p><p>"Yeah. You were so tired after your nosebleed," Elliot explained, "I didn't want to disturb you— so, I let you sleep."</p><p>"Thanks for taking care of me. I know you didn't have to," Shepard said with a grateful smile.</p><p>"I didn't mind. I love taking care of you," Elliot admitted as he kissed Shepard slowly.</p><p>"I need to pee," Shepard mumbled as he slowly made his way to the washroom.</p><p>Elliot waited patiently for Shepard's return, when— suddenly— the washroom door opened.</p><p>"I'm gonna take a quick shower. You can join me if you want," Shepard said with an insinuating wink.</p><p>"I'll be right there," Elliot grinned as he quickly grabbed a condom and the lubricant.</p><p>After the shower, the two found themselves in the bed once more.</p><p>"I <b>really </b>gotta get home," Shepard groaned as he slowly began to dress.</p><p>"Do you ever think about us?" Elliot asked as he too began to dress.</p><p>"Sometimes," Shepard said with a shrug.</p><p>"Do you ever think that— maybe if I hadn't screwed up— that maybe we'd still be together?" Elliot asked, already knowing the answer.</p><p>"No," Shepard answered truthfully.</p><p>"Yeah. I didn't think so. Aaron would have eventually taken you from me," Elliot said, his smile bittersweet.</p><p>"Aaron always had me, even if we didn't know it at the time," Shepard admitted.</p><p>"I knew. I just hoped I could steal you from him. I guess I was wrong," Elliot grinned.</p><p>"El, what are you getting at?" Shepard asked anxiously.</p><p>"Aaron's gone. And I'm sorry. I really am— but—" Elliot let his voice trail off, unsure of how to proceed— or even if he should.</p><p>"But?" Shepard asked anxiously.</p><p>"Never mind," Elliot said with a sigh.</p><p>"Elliot," Shepard insisted. "Please, don't do that! I hate it when you do that. If you wanna say something, then say it, goddammit."</p><p>"Why? I know there's no point! I know how much it irritates you when I drop things, but I can't help it. I don't think things through before I talk," Elliot explained.</p><p>"El," Shepard said in a demanding voice, causing the brunette man to give in.</p><p>"Fine! I was just wondering if we could start over— try it again. I'm older now— I wouldn't mistreat you for anything— not ever again. I would never do anything you weren't 100% comfortable with. I swear, I wouldn't," Elliot promised, hoping for a second chance.</p><p>"It wouldn't work, El," Shepard shook his head for emphasis, "We'd end up driving each other crazy— and you know it."</p><p>"Shepard, baby, we were fine. It was that one goddamn mistake that ruined us. I swear on my daughter's life, I would NEVER do anything like that again, especially not to you. Things between us could be good again. Every night could be like last night. Please, think about it," Elliot pleaded.</p><p>"Elliot, we were never fine! We were toxic at our worst and dysfunctional at our best. I was thirteen, and so goddamn dependent on you— so goddamn afraid of doing something to displease you— that I did things for you that made me feel like I was less than nothing. And on the rare days when you realized how I felt— you tried to fix it, but you couldn't because it <b>always</b> ended in a goddamn fight— sometimes with words and other times with our fists. A lot of that was on me. My mood swings would hit so goddamn hard that even the slightest word from you made my skin crawl. Even when you were kind to me, I couldn't let go of that feeling. I began to resent you, but I never could admit it. Hell, even now I'm scared to death that any minute you're gonna change, and that same guy is gonna walk through that door— and it's gonna be that night all over again. I love you, El. I'll always love you. You were my first— the one I <b>chose</b>, and I'll never forget it. And I'll never regret it, but we ain't right for each other. Too much has been broken, and there ain't no way to fix it," Shepard admitted as a tear fell from his sad blue eyes.</p><p>Elliot found himself shedding tears of his own— the truth of Shepard's words hitting him hard.</p><p>"I love you too. I always have— and I guess I always will," Elliot admitted as he hugged Shepard tight.</p><p>"I should go," Shepard whispered as he kissed Elliot softly.</p><p>"Yeah. I'll walk you to your bike. I need to check out anyway," Elliot admitted truthfully.</p><p>"Okay. I'll pay," Shepard insisted as he grabbed his hockey bag.</p><p>"You sure? I can take care of it," Elliot offered.</p><p>"It's fine. I got it," Shepard grinned as they made their way to the lobby.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"I can't believe they're still in there," Jin complained as he parked his car in the same spot as the night before. "That bastard better be getting some good photos."</p><p>About that time, Jin noticed the two young men walking towards Shepard's parked bike.</p><p>"Finally," Jin sighed as he began to take photos.</p><p>"I had an incredible time last night," Elliot admitted as he released Shepard's hand.</p><p>"It <b>was</b> pretty great," Shepard grinned as he pulled Elliot close.</p><p>"I don't suppose we could do this again," Elliot asked, hoping for a friends-with-benefits situation with Shepard.</p><p>"One last dance, remember," Shepard reminded him. "We can still be friends, though. I wouldn't mind."</p><p>"Hey, I'll take what I can get," Elliot chuckled. "I fucking love you. You know that, beautiful?."</p><p>"Yeah. I love you too, you ass," Shepard said with a cheeky grin.</p><p>"I'll text you some time," Elliot promised as he kissed Shepard languidly.</p><p>"You do that," Shepard said with a smile. "Do you want a ride anywhere? I can take you home if you want."</p><p>"Nah. I think I'll walk. It looks like a nice evening," Elliot informed the young blonde. "I hope last night will be a better memory for you— when you think of me, I mean."</p><p>"I hope it's a better one for you than me biting you when I was two," Shepard teased.</p><p>"Hey! I love that memory," Elliot laughed as he gave Shepard one last kiss.</p><p>"I guess I'll see ya around," Shepard said with a wink as he put on his helmet and peeled out of the parking lot.</p><p>Elliot watched as the man he loved disappeared one last time before turning his attention to the man in the expensive sports car.</p><p>"I guess I might as well get this over with. He is definitely not going to be happy with what I have to tell him," Elliot whispered to himself as he made his way over to the car—</p><p>"Hey," Elliot greeted Jin nervously. "Have you been here all night?"</p><p>"No— un-like you," Jin replied in obvious disapproval. "I told you to fuck him, not spend the entire fucking night with him! Who the hell gave you permission to do that?"</p><p>"Look, dude— I don't need your goddamn permission. I happen to know that guy, and he isn't your lover. You're a goddamn liar! The deal's off— here's the money you gave me up-front," Elliot said as he handed the man the cash.</p><p>"Since when do you give a fuck about such things? You've done this sort of thing for me before, so what's the issue?" Jin asked, growing irritated with the young man.</p><p>"It's like I said, I know the guy. He's a good man, and I refuse to help you hurt him. I never took any photos, so this conversation is pretty much over. I've got nothing for you," Elliot explained, wanting nothing more than to end the conversation.</p><p>"I never thought I'd see the day," Jin laughed in amusement. "You think you're protecting him? Please. You're only delaying the inevitable. I'll get what I want. And I don't need your help to get it."</p><p>"Good luck with that," Elliot said— sarcastically— as he walked away from the cocky young man.</p><p>"I'll get what I want! I <b>always </b>get what I want," Jin called out as Elliot flipped him off for emphasis. "Always," Jin growled as he pulled out of the parking lot.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next Chapter:  Shepard and Kaidan have a date night—</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Date Night</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Shepard invites Kaidan out for a date night—</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>"I'm home," Shepard announced as he entered the house.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's about time! You had us worried," Kahlee scolded as Shepard plopped down on the couch. "Where were you?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Didn't Dad tell you?" Shepard asked in confusion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He said you were staying at a friend's house, but we were expecting you back earlier. It's already past seven," Kahlee explained in annoyance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I slept late," Shepard shrugged.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Did you drink last night?" Kahlee asked, thinking that maybe her son had a bit of a hangover.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What makes you think that?" Shepard asked curiously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Just answer the question, John," Kahlee insisted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No," Shepard lied, not wanting to be lectured. "We just talked and hung out."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"All night?" Kahlee asked skeptically. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We hadn't seen each other in four years— we had a lot to talk about," Shepard insisted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Alright, but why didn't you answer our texts?" Kahlee asked, obviously upset with Shepard's lack of communication. "Your Dad and I have texted you all morning, and you never replied. I have to call him in a few minutes and let him know you finally made it home."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I never got any texts," Shepard replied, brow furrowed in confusion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"John, don't lie. Your father and I have texted you all morning," Kahlee insisted, growing increasingly upset with her son.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm not lying! My goddamn phone hasn't buzzed once this whole fucking day," Shepard answered truthfully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't believe you," Kahlee replied calmly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't give a fuck whether you do or not— it's the truth," Shepard shrugged as stood up quickly— his head swimming from the sudden movement, causing him to stagger before falling back onto the couch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"John," Kahlee called out as she quickly rushed to aid her son. "Are you alright?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I—I'm fine," Shepard insisted as he held his head in his hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're hungover, aren't you? Why didn't you just tell me the truth," Kahlee asked with a sigh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I ain't hungover. I just got up too fast," Shepard admitted truthfully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Uh-huh," Kahlee said in disbelief.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Do you want me to check my goddamn phone in front of you to show you that I ain't got any texts?" Shepard asked in annoyance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I never asked that of you," Kahlee said, shaking her head as she spoke.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm tired of being called a goddamn liar! So, here, I'll show you that I ain't fucking lying." Shepard's brows furrowed in confusion when his phone didn't come to life when he clicked the button. "What's wrong with the goddamn thing?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kahlee gently took the phone from her son's hand and held the power button until, finally, the phone came to life.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You had it turned off," Kahlee softly explained, her eyes full of sadness for her son.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That's not right. I </span>
  <b>never</b>
  <span> turn my phone off. I would have remembered if I did. I mean— I would have— right?" Shepard could feel the anxiety rising up inside him. "Why didn't I remember turning it off? I don't remember turning it off."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's okay. The doctors said there would be times when you would forget certain mundane things. You just forgot. It's normal. I apologize for not trusting you," Kahlee said softly, as she moved the long dark-blonde hair from his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No— I'm sorry. It was my stupid mistake. That's on me. I should have called or texted you guys. I—I'm gonna go to my room. I— uh— need to clear my head for a minute," Shepard admitted as he slowly made his way to the bedroom.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kahlee sat alone for several minutes, contemplating the health of her son before finally heading to the kitchen to prepare dinner.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>'Don't be so hard on yourself, eh. You were drinking vodka like it was water. You were probably drunk when you turned it off,'</span>
  </em>
  <span> the voice said, trying to get the blue-eyed teen to stop dwelling on the issue.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I wasn't that fucking drunk! I can remember everything else that happened— every goddamn thing— so, why the hell can't I remember this?" Shepard asked in frustration.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>'Well— there are three possibilities I can think of:  one— you were too damn drunk to remember, two— it's just a side-effect of the brain injury, and there's not much you can do about it, and— last, but not least, three— Elliot turned it off so you wouldn't be interrupted,' </span>
  </em>
  <span>the voice suggested.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That </span>
  <b>does</b>
  <span> sound like something Elliot would do, but I'm not sure. I don't think he even touched my phone last night," Shepard insisted as he scrolled through the many missed texts. "Half the goddamn team texted to ask if I was alright. They're gonna think I'm a massive prick for not replying."</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>'Just reply now,' </span>
  </em>
  <span>the voice replied calmly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah. I think I will. I'll text Garrus and James first, then work my way down the list," Shepard said as he continued to type.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>'Any other texts, or is that about it?' </span>
  </em>
  <span>The voice asked curiously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kaidan texted me— a lot," Shepard said with a look of worry on his young face. "He's gonna be so pissed at me."</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>'Yeah. I suggest calling instead of texting," </span>
  </em>
  <span>the voice snickered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Do you have to sound so happy about it?" Shepard groaned as he called Kaidan's cell.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>'Are you kidding? I love how awkward you get on the phone,' </span>
  </em>
  <span>the voice teased in amusement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I fucking hate you sometimes," Shepard sighed as he waited for Kaidan to answer his call.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hello," Kaidan's smooth, calming voice came through the phone, causing Shepard to smile fondly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey, it's Shepard," the blue-eyed blonde replied.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey. How's the shoulder?" Kaidan asked curiously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's not bad— maybe a tiny bit sore," Shepard explained, "I'm so sorry I didn't text you back last night. Stupid me turned off my phone."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah. I was worried about you. You were supposed to call or text me last night. You wanted to hang out today. I just assumed you changed your mind because your shoulder was giving you trouble," Kaidan said with a sense of disappointment lingering in his tone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I can't believe I forgot! Kaidan, please forgive me. I still want to hang with you. Do you want to go grab something to eat? I know it's short notice, so I'll understand if you say no." Shepard held his breath in anticipation of Kaidan's reply.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sure," Kaidan said with a chuckle. "Do you need me to meet you somewhere or—"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I can come, get you. I'll even take the car," Shepard replied with a grin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm surprised. You usually only ride your bike," Kaidan said honestly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's a little chilly out. I want you to be comfortable, eh," Shepard admitted truthfully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That's very thoughtful of you," Kaidan replied with a warm laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm on my way— all I have to do is change. I'll see you soon," Shepard informed Kaidan with a grin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'll be ready. Drive safe, eh."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Always," Shepard promised as he scrambled to get dressed.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>'So— you got another date. You're a popular bastard, aren't ya,' </span>
  </em>
  <span>the voice chuckled in amusement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I guess so," Shepard nodded as he quickly finished getting dressed. "I hope Mom doesn't get mad about me using the car."</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>'Yeah. Anderson's not home, so if she says no— you're screwed,' </span>
  </em>
  <span>the voice reminded him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"True enough," Shepard shrugged as he made his way to the kitchen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey, sweetheart. Are you hungry?" Kahlee asked as she and Hailey sat the food on the table.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I kinda got a date— with Kaidan," Shepard explained as he rubbed the back of his neck nervously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I see. Why didn't you tell me about it earlier?" Kahlee asked in irritation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I didn't know about it. It just sorta came up," Shepard admitted truthfully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"John, you </span>
  <b>just </b>
  <span>got home. You were gone all night, and now you want to take off again. I would appreciate it if you would spend a little time at home. I mean, would it kill you to stay in?" Kahlee asked with a sigh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Mom, I </span>
  <b>really </b>
  <span>like Kaidan. If I back out, he might not ever talk to me again," Shepard said anxiously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kaidan's really pretty, Mommy. Loco has good taste," Hailey said as she placed the breadbasket on the table.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard couldn't help but snicker at his little sister.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"John, don't encourage her," Kahlee scolded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I wasn't," Shepard said, feigning innocence. "Can I go, Mom— please?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kahlee sighed as she shook her head in amusement. "Okay— but only because you asked first. You haven't done that lately— I appreciate it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Can I take the car?" Shepard asked nervously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I wish you wouldn't drive yet, but since you seemed to do fine driving that damn motorcycle, I'll let you. The keys are on the table by the door," Kahlee explained as she studied her son's face—</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"John, are you feeling okay?" Kahlee asked in concern.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Uh— yes. Why?" Shepard asked, not liking the way his mother was staring.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Your colour is off. Hailey, does your brother look pale to you?" Kahlee asked anxiously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hailey cocked her tiny head to the side as she studied her brother's face. "Yep. He's pale, alright."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Traitor," Shepard teased as he pulled her high ponytail.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"John, it isn't funny! Are you feeling well or not?" Kahlee insisted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm fine, Mom. You worry too much," Shepard said as he kissed his mother's cheek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Remember to take your medication with you," Kahlee reminded the young blonde.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I got it in my pocket. I missed my morning dose. I figured I'd better tell you. I feel fine, though," Shepard assured her as he turned to leave.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"John, what am I going to do with you? Don't make it a habit, okay. Be careful, sweetheart. Don't stay out too late. I mean it, John— be home by eleven," Kahlee insisted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I will. Love you, Mom. Love you, Hailey," Shepard grinned as he exited the house.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard arrived outside of Kaidan's house at around eight-thirty, and much to the blue-eyed blonde's surprise— Kaidan was waiting by the curb.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey, have you been waiting long?" Shepard asked anxiously, hoping that he hadn't already managed to make his date upset.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Not long," Kaidan assured him with a smile as he got into the passenger's seat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That's good. So— where would you like to eat? We can go anywhere you'd like— just name the place," Shepard assured the whisky-eyed brunette with a grin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Anywhere's fine. I'm happy just spending time with you," Kaidan admitted with a warm smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Me too," Shepard said, quietly, as he placed his right hand on Kaidan's left, giving it a gentle squeeze as he continued to drive. "There's a pretty nice restaurant near here. It's casual, but the food is really good, and it's a beautiful place to eat— if that's alright with you?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It sounds great," Kaidan replied with a nod as he continued to watch the blue-eyed blonde carefully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It only took about ten minutes to reach their destination—</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, here we are. I would have taken you to a nicer place, but I ain't really dressed for it," Shepard admitted as he motioned to his body.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's fine," Kaidan assured him, "I like you in jeans— it suits you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah— I ain't really suit material, you know what I mean," Shepard laughed as he led Kaidan into the restaurant.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, I don't know," Kaidan shrugged, "I think you'd look just fine in a suit."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Maybe, but I sure as hell wouldn't be very comfortable," Shepard admitted as he picked a table furthest in the back, far away from the other diners.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You really don't like people, do you?" Kaidan said with a hint of amusement in his voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No— I really don't. I never have. People make me uncomfortable," Shepard admitted, truthfully— as he took his seat at the table.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why is that?" Kaidan asked curiously as he too took his seat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I dunno. It's just how I am," Shepard explained as he looked around the semi-crowded restaurant.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Fair enough," Kaidan shrugged, deciding to drop the subject once he noticed how nervous Shepard looked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It only took a few brief moments for the waiter to appear with the menus and some glasses of crisp ice water.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"How are you this evening?" The waiter asked as he handed them each a menu.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We're doing well— thank you," Kaidan replied with a courteous smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That's good to hear. Would you like to order now, or do you need time to decide?" The waiter asked with a cordial smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We're going to need a few minutes. Thank you," Kaidan said with a nod.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Very well. I'll be back to take your order soon," the waiter smiled as he continued on with his work.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So— you've been here before. What's good?" Kaidan asked as he glanced through the menu.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Um— The salmon is good. That's what I ordered last time I was here. The steak is good too— or at least my dad said it was," Shepard replied as he bounced his knee nervously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You didn't have the steak? I thought you loved steak," Kaidan said, remembering the steak sandwiches they had the very first time they went out together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I do, but Mom basically picked what I ate last time. She's pretty strict about my diet. I mostly only eat things that are good for my brain," Shepard explained with a shrug.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So, you never eat steak?" Kaidan asked in mild shock.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard chuckled a bit at his whisky-eyed friend. "I can still eat steak, but in moderation."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, how do you feel about steak tonight? I can help with the bill," Kaidan offered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard's brow furrowed in contemplation. "I can pay, Kaidan— I have money. I wouldn't have asked you out if I thought I couldn't cover it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry. That must have come across as me being condescending. That wasn't my intention," Kaidan assured the young blonde, wishing he had remained silent instead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's fine. I'm used to it," Shepard admitted with a shrug, his sapphire-blue eyes gazing beyond Kaidan as if he were staring behind the young brunette.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You shouldn't be," Kaidan said with a sad look in his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Huh?" Shepard asked, his gaze returning to Kaidan's amber eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Are you okay?" Kaidan asked in concern.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah. I'm fine. So— what do you want to drink?" Shepard asked as if nothing was wrong.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Uh— How about the Cabernet?" Kaidan suggested as he put the menu down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"The what, now?" Shepard asked in confusion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"The Cabernet— it's red wine. I'm not really a wine drinker, but it goes great with steak," Kaidan explained with a grin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kaidan, we're underage. They'll card you, and you'll be screwed," Shepard reminded his date with an amused grin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shepard, I'm nineteen," Kaidan replied with an amused chuckle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You are? That don't make sense," Shepard admitted curiously. "We're both seniors. I'm only seventeen. I won't be eighteen until April. There's no way you could have failed a year. You're too goddamn smart."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I didn't fail," Kaidan laughed in amusement. "My birthday is in November, so— because of how the school year comes in— I've always been older than most of my classmates. And on top of that, I had to skip a year when I was a kid for my migraine problems. I started getting them at a fairly young age, so they started running tests to see what was really going on. It turns out I had a malformed vessel in my brain— well, two actually. They operated and fixed the bad one. The other one wasn't life-threatening, so they left it alone. It helped cut down on the frequency and intensity of the migraines. It's not all bad, though. I take college classes— So I didn't </span>
  <b>really</b>
  <span> fall behind."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hn. I didn't know that," Shepard replied in understanding.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Does that change anything?" Kaidan asked curiously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Nope. I like older guys. In fact, I don't think I've ever been with anyone that wasn't older than me," Shepard admitted as he continued to bounce his knee.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That's interesting. Is it intentional?" Kaidan asked, wondering if Shepard had a fetish.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Nah. It just always seems to work out like that," Shepard replied truthfully. "I thought you were my age. I guess I was wrong."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I guess you were," Kaidan grinned in amusement. "So, about the wine—"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard couldn't help but laugh. "Wine would be fine. I don't think they'll serve me any, though."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I guarantee that once they card me, they'll ignore you altogether. You look legal enough," Kaidan said with a wink.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We'll see," Shepard smiled as the waiter made his way back over.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes, we'll have the steak and a bottle of Cabernet," Kaidan ordered for them both.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Two steaks and a bottle of Cabernet— may I see your ID?" The waiter asked with a smile as Kaidan handed him the ID. "And you, sir?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard gave Kaidan an 'I told you so' look. "I won't be drinking. I'll just have water."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Very well, sir. I'll return shortly with your order," the waiter said as he smiled and walked away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I told you so," Shepard grinned as he took a drink of his water.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I was sure they'd let you slide," Kaidan admitted, shaking his head in amusement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We should just take what's left of the wine with us when we leave," Shepard suggested.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We should," Kaidan nodded with a smile. "So, I saw the game. Are you in any pain from the injury?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No, not really," Shepard shrugged. "We lost pretty spectacularly. Didn't we?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, you guys did fine— until you went down. They kinda fell apart without you," Kaidan grinned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah. I need to think of a way to get everyone working together," Shepard admitted as he continued to fidget nervously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah. I think it'll take a miracle for some of them to actually work," Kaidan replied with a hint of distaste.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You ain't kidding," Shepard chuckled as the waiter arrived with their meal. "Thanks."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thank you," Kaidan nodded as the waiter placed the food on the table.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The waiter quietly uncorked the wine and poured a glass for Kaidan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Would you like more water, sir?" The waiter asked Shepard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No, thanks," Shepard shook his head as he spoke.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"If you need anything else, just let me know," the waiter said as he left them alone to enjoy their meal.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's very good. You were right," Kaidan praised as he took another bite of his steak.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm glad you like it," Shepard said with a soft smile. "So, what have you been up to lately?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Not much. I've just been helping my mother with her various hospital functions," Kaidan replied as he took a sip of his wine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What do you mean? What functions?" Shepard asked curiously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, fundraisers, mostly. She does a lot of charity work for Vancouver General Hospital— as well as for the Women's and Children Centre. Her official job title is the head of PR for the hospital. She's also a lawyer," Kaidan explained.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"She's a bit of an overachiever, ain't she? What does your dad do?" Shepard asked curiously. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, she really is," Kaidan chuckled as he continued to speak, "My father is a surgeon. He's a Cardiothoracic Surgeon— his specialty is the heart."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Goddamn, I'm outta my league, ain't I," Shepard admitted nervously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Don't say that," Kaidan softly replied as he touched Shepard's hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's true, though," Shepard shrugged with a nervous grin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It isn't," Kaidan chuckled, shaking his head in amusement. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"If you say so," Shepard shrugged as he picked at his half-eaten food.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Are you not hungry?" Kaidan asked, his brow furrowing in worry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm fine," Shepard smiled as he forced another bite.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Once they had finished their meal, Shepard paid the cheque before he and Kaidan left the restaurant with the leftover wine in hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Can you pop the trunk, please?" Kaidan requested with a smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Uh, sure," Shepard replied in confusion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm putting the wine in the trunk. It's the law," Kaidan grinned as he placed the bottle in the trunk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh," Shepard smiled as he got into the driver's seat, waiting patiently for Kaidan to get into the passenger's seat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once Kaidan returned, he quickly buckled his seat belt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Did you enjoy your meal?" Shepard asked nervously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I did. It was very good. It's a shame you didn't finish yours," Kaidan replied with a grin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I wasn't very hungry. I actually ate a little before I called you," Shepard lied as he started the car.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I can't believe the night's almost over," Kaidan replied with a regretful look in his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It doesn't have to be," Shepard said, the nervousness clear in his voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What do you mean?" Kaidan asked curiously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You could stay at my place— if you want. I promise not to do anything to make you uncomfortable," Shepard suggested anxiously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't know if my parents would like that," Kaidan chuckled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why?" Shepard asked, his brow furrowing in confusion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well— they don't know you," Kaidan explained with an amused chuckle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're nineteen, though," Shepard reminded the whisky-eyed brunette. "They really can't stop you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaidan gave a hard sigh, "True— but I live with them."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So— you're basically saying no," Shepard said quietly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No— that's not what I'm saying. I'll call and tell them I'm staying with a friend, then we'll see how it goes," Kaidan explained as he dialed his home number.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>'Man, he's a real boy-scout, huh?' </span>
  </em>
  <span>The voice teased with a snicker.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>'So. I like it. It's— different,' Shepard said silently.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>'He's certainly different from you, you delinquent,' </span>
  </em>
  <span>the voice teased playfully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>'Yeah. We're good for each other. I let him be bad, and he—'</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>'Makes you feel good,' </span>
  </em>
  <span>the voice finished Shepard's sentence for him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>'Well, yeah,' Shepard replied to the voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>'Except, he hasn't been making you feel good,' </span>
  </em>
  <span>the voice corrected, </span>
  <em>
    <span>'I sure hope you get a little tonight— just a little. A blowjob would be nice.'</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>'Would you please just shut the fuck up?' Shepard begged silently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"SHEPARD," Kaidan yelled, finally getting the blue-eyed blonde's attention.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Huh?" Shepard asked, turning his blue eyes to glance briefly at the young whisky-eyed man.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I was just trying to let you know that I accept your offer," Kaidan replied with a look of concern on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh— Good. I guess we're heading to my house. We can drink the rest of the wine there," Shepard grinned with a wink.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Won't your parents mind?" Kaidan asked curiously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kaidan, I meant we'll drink it in my room. What they don't know— won't hurt 'em," Shepard insisted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaidan couldn't help but laugh. "If you say so."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Relax, Kaidan," Shepard grinned as he made his way home— eager to spend the night with the whisky-eyed brunette he had grown to adore—</span>
</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Once they made it to Shepard's house, Kaidan quietly handed Shepard the mostly-full bottle of wine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Good luck getting that past your parents," Kaidan teased as Shepard took the bottle in his hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Watch and learn," Shepard winked as he disappeared behind the house before returning empty-handed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What did you do with it?" Kaidan asked curiously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You'll see," Shepard chuckled as he took Kaidan by the hand and led him in the house—</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm home. I brought Kaidan with me," Shepard called out loudly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hello, Kaidan," Kahlee greeted as she made her way down the stairs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hello," Miss. Sanders," Kaidan replied quietly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kaidan, call me Kahlee," Kahlee insisted just as Shepard's phone alarm went off. "Time for your meds, sweetheart."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I know," Shepard said with an awkward smile as he retrieved the bottles from the inside pocket of his leather jacket.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'll go get you a glass of water," Kahlee said as she disappeared into the kitchen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"They still have you on a lot of meds, huh?" Kaidan asked in a sympathetic tone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah— for my seizures," Shepard halfway told the truth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Are they working?" Kaidan asked curiously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"If they weren't, I wouldn't be playing hockey," Shepard admitted truthfully as his mother returned with a glass of water.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Here you are, sweetheart," Kahlee smiled as she handed Shepard the glass.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thanks," Shepard said as he quickly took his medication.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're welcome," Kahlee said as Shepard handed her the empty glass.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Is Daddy home?" Shepard asked curiously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes. He worked overtime tonight, so he went straight to bed," Kahlee explained as she brushed Shepard's long dark-blonde hair from his sapphire eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kaidan's staying over. I hope you don't mind," Shepard informed her anxiously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh— okay. I take it he's sleeping in your room," Kahlee surmised with a hint of disapproval.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yep," Shepard said as he took Kaidan by the hand and started leading him towards his bedroom. "Goodnight, Mom. Love you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"John," Kahlee sighed as she heard Shepard's bedroom door shut and his door lock, "That boy!"</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next Chapter:  Kaidan spends the night with Shepard—</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Stay with Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Kaidan spends the night with Shepard—</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>***WARNING***<br/>SEXUAL CONTENT<br/>PAST SUICIDE ATTEMPT<br/>SUICIDAL THOUGHTS</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Make yourself at home," Shepard said as he placed his leather jacket over the chair in the corner.</p>
<p>"I've been meaning to ask— what's going on with that punching bag," Kaidan asked curiously, as he placed his jacket beside Shepard's leather one on the chair.</p>
<p>"It was here when I moved in. It's why I picked this room," Shepard explained truthfully.</p>
<p>"Okay— you must use it to work out," Kaidan surmised as he continued to glance around the room.</p>
<p>"Yeah, I guess. I mainly use it when I'm feeling upset. It gives me an outlet for my rage," Shepard admitted with a shrug.</p>
<p>"Your rage," Kaidan questioned nervously.</p>
<p>"Yeah. Ain't you ever wanted to punch something?" Shepard asked curiously.</p>
<p>"Well, yeah— I guess," Kaidan admitted honestly.</p>
<p>"Do you wanna use it?" Shepard asked as he put his right arm around the bag.</p>
<p>"Not right now," Kaidan chuckled, " Maybe later."</p>
<p>"Um— do you wanna use the shower? There's an extra toothbrush in the washroom if you wanna use it," Shepard offered as he stretched his sore shoulder.</p>
<p>"Sure," Kaidan said with a grin. "Do you wanna go first?"</p>
<p>"Nope— guests first," Shepard insisted as he retrieved a few plush towels from his very large closet.</p>
<p>"I love your closet," Kaidan said in wonder. "It's very spacious."</p>
<p>"Yeah. I told Daddy that he should have just turned this into a washroom or another bedroom," Shepard smiled as he remembered the conversation.</p>
<p>"I'm surprised you chose a room that doesn't have a washroom," Kaidan grinned.</p>
<p>"Well, the washroom is just outside my door, so I don't mind. Daddy was gonna have a contractor come in and make the washroom accessible from my room, but I told him not to bother," Shepard explained with a shrug.</p>
<p>"That was very considerate of him," Kaidan said with a smile.</p>
<p>"Yeah— Daddy's like that," Shepard said with a fond smile. "Do you want to borrow some of my clothes?"</p>
<p>"I actually have one of your shirts," Kaidan admitted with a sheepish grin.</p>
<p>"Really? How'd you manage that?" Shepard asked curiously.</p>
<p>"The night of Ryan's party— I picked up the wrong shirt when I left," Kaidan explained.</p>
<p>"That must mean I have one of yours," Shepard said in amusement.</p>
<p>"I guess it does," Kaidan laughed.</p>
<p>"Do you want it back? I'm sure it's in my closet," Shepard offered.</p>
<p>"Nah. You can keep it. I'm keeping yours, after all," Kaidan informed the blue-eyed blonde with a wink.</p>
<p>Shepard couldn't help but smile at his friend's words. "You're welcome to it."</p>
<p>Kaidan just chuckled as he came to stand next to Shepard. </p>
<p>"So— do you want a pair of sweats to wear? They're probably way more comfortable than slacks," Shepard said with a grin.</p>
<p>"Okay— sweats are fine," Kaidan agreed with a nod.</p>
<p>"Here," Shepard said as he handed the young man the pair of sweats. "The towels are on the bed. Let me know if you need anything."</p>
<p>"Sure," Kaidan said with a nod as he made his way to the washroom.</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>"Your turn," Kaidan announced as he came into Shepard's bedroom— shirtless with his thick, curly hair wet and dripping tiny beads of water onto his well-toned chest.</p>
<p>Shepard couldn't help but stare, licking his lips subconsciously at the sight of the sexy brunette. </p>
<p>"Shepard— Earth to Shepard," Kaidan teased with a chuckle, obviously pleased by the blue-eyed blonde's reaction.</p>
<p>"Oh— yeah, I'll be right back," Shepard winked as he went to take his turn in the shower.</p>
<p>"I'll be here," Kaidan assured him as he continued to dry his hair with a towel.</p>
<p>Kaidan began to walk around the room, taking his time, trying to learn more about his beloved friend by studying the young man's belongings.</p>
<p>Eventually, Kaidan's eyes landed on Shepard's leather jacket, causing the whisky-eyed man to smile as he carefully picked up the jacket— lifting it to his nose before deeply inhaling the scent that was Shepard. </p>
<p>He ran his fingers over the soft leather before feeling the slight bulge in the inner pocket—</p>
<p>"His medication," Kaidan whispered softly to himself.</p>
<p>'I wonder what the side-effects are,' Kaidan thought to himself as he slowly reached into the inner pocket— carefully taking out the bottles— one-by-one, his brow furrowing as he read the names of the various drugs—</p>
<p>"I only recognize one of these as antiseizure medication. The others are— Nah, that can't be right," Kaidan mumbled aloud as he carefully returned the bottles to their rightful place. Kaidan could hear the doorknob twisting as he quickly placed the jacket over the chair— trying his best to make it look undisturbed.</p>
<p>"Hey— I'm back," Shepard grinned as he continued to dry his long dark-blonde hair.</p>
<p>Kaidan couldn't help but stare at the young blonde. Shepard's sweats were hanging extremely low on his narrow hips— the base of his cock slightly visible, causing Kaidan to grin in approval.</p>
<p>"I— uh— like the way you're dressed," Kaidan admitted as he walked towards the grinning blonde. </p>
<p>Once the gap between them was closed, Kaidan took Shepard's face in his hands and kissed him slowly.</p>
<p>Shepard returned the kiss with fervor as he wrapped his arms around Kaidan's waist before letting his hands roam to the whisky-eyed brunette's perfectly shaped ass.</p>
<p>Shepard took his time, gently massaging Kaidan's glutes as they continued to kiss.</p>
<p>"Do you wanna play tonight?" Shepard asked softly.</p>
<p>"Maybe later. I wanna talk a bit first," Kaidan admitted as Shepard smiled sweetly.</p>
<p>"Sure," Shepard nodded as he led Kaidan to the bed. "Whattaya wanna talk about?"</p>
<p>"Well, lots of things. I want to get to know you better," Kaidan admitted truthfully.</p>
<p>"Okay. We'll do this— we'll <b>both </b>answer any question that's asked, that way we can learn more about each other," Shepard suggested.</p>
<p>"That sounds fair. Who gets the first question?" Kaidan asked curiously.</p>
<p>"Um— I guess you do," Shepard shrugged as he awaited his beloved friend's question.</p>
<p>"Okay— where were you born?" Kaidan asked with a smile.</p>
<p>"Vancouver— I ain't never been anywhere else— well, unless you count, going somewhere for a hockey game. I reckon I was born at St. Paul's, but my mom left me in the lobby of Vancouver General," Shepard admitted.</p>
<p>"Why didn't she leave you at St. Paul's?" Kaidan asked curiously.</p>
<p>"I dunno," Shepard shrugged, "I always figured she didn't want no questions to be asked."</p>
<p>"I suppose," Kaidan mumbled, deciding to drop it.</p>
<p>"Where were you born?" Shepard asked, cocking his head to the side.</p>
<p>"Vancouver General Hospital— but I was conceived in Singapore," Kaidan grinned.</p>
<p>"Singapore? What the hell were your parents doing in Singapore?" Shepard asked in confusion.</p>
<p>Kaidan laughed in amusement. "My dad was stationed there. He was a military surgeon, for a while, before returning to civilian life and his practise."</p>
<p>"Oh— makes sense, I guess," Shepard nodded. "I almost forgot," Shepard called out as he moved to the nearby window, opening it briefly to retrieve the bottle sitting on the sill. "Here's the wine."</p>
<p>"I think we'll need an opener," Kaidan mused.</p>
<p>"I'll go open it— I'll be right back," Shepard assured him as he quickly left the room.</p>
<p>True to his word, Shepard returned within a few minutes with the opened bottle of wine in hand.</p>
<p>"What— no glasses," Kaidan teased as Shepard handed him the bottle.</p>
<p>"If we use glasses, Mom will find out for sure," Shepard explained, "So, it's better to just drink from the bottle."</p>
<p>"Cheers," Kaidan smiled as he took a drink from the bottle before handing it to Shepard.</p>
<p>Shepard nodded his head in appreciation as he took a drink from the bottle. "I gotta admit— this ain't my cup of tea."</p>
<p>Kaidan laughed at his beloved friend. "Does it taste that bad to you?"</p>
<p>"Nah— it ain't that bad. I just ain't a fan of the mouth-feel," Shepard admitted.</p>
<p>"I understand. Are you ready for the next question?"</p>
<p>"Shoot," Shepard replied quickly.</p>
<p>"How many girlfriends or boyfriends have you had— that includes the harmless schoolyard ones from elementary school," Kaidan explained with a grin.</p>
<p>"No girlfriends— and two boyfriends," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p>
<p>"You and Jack never—" Kaidan's words were cut short by Shepard's laughter.</p>
<p>"What the hell made you think that," Shepard asked in-between his laughter.</p>
<p>"You just seem close," Kaidan shrugged.</p>
<p>"We are, but I ain't never been interested in girls. They just never were my speed. I have kissed Jack, though— for fun," Shepard admitted. </p>
<p>"Is that all?" Kaidan asked skeptically.</p>
<p>"Well— no, but I ain't ever fucked her. We just played around with our hands— you know what I'm saying, right," Shepard asked, hoping Kaidan wouldn't need any more explanation than that.</p>
<p>"Are you sure you're not bisexual?" Kaidan asked in confusion.</p>
<p>"Positive. I never even got excited when I helped her out. I was just doing a friend a favour— that's all," Shepard shrugged.</p>
<p>"You're a very strange man," Kaidan admitted.</p>
<p>"I know," Shepard agreed.</p>
<p>"So— basically you've only had two boyfriends— just two," Kaidan replied in doubt, "I don't believe it. You're way too handsome— and way too sexual."</p>
<p>"Yeah, so—" Shepard asked, unsure of Kaidan's point. "Sex and relationships aren't exactly the same. I've only had two boyfriends, but I've been with other guys too."</p>
<p>"Oh— how many more," Kaidan asked anxiously, afraid of the number.</p>
<p>"Do you want the truth?" Shepard asked nervously.</p>
<p>"Of course. We can't build a relationship on lies," Kaidan insisted.</p>
<p>"The truth is, I don't know— but it's a lot," Shepard admitted as he bounced his knee nervously.</p>
<p>"Define a lot," Kaidan insisted. "Is it less than five?"</p>
<p>"No— it ain't even less than ten," Shepard admitted, unable to look Kaidan in the eye.</p>
<p>"Are you promiscuous?" Kaidan asked anxiously.</p>
<p>"Yeah— I guess. I mean— I <b>love</b> sex, but I'm always careful, and I get tested every three months. I ain't irresponsible," Shepard explained.</p>
<p>"I don't know how to feel about that," Kaidan admitted truthfully.</p>
<p>Shepard didn't say a word— he just stared off into space, looking sad and a bit lonely.</p>
<p>"Are you a sex addict?" Kaidan asked, furrowing his brow in disappointment.</p>
<p>"NO," Shepard insisted. "I ain't a goddamn addict."</p>
<p>"Do you cheat?" Kaidan asked curiously, his voice sounding more and more judgmental as he spoke.</p>
<p>Shepard shook his head as he spoke, "No— I ain't never cheated on purpose."</p>
<p>"What the hell do you mean by that?" Kaidan asked in irritation. "You can't accidentally cheat. It's impossible."</p>
<p>"I can," Shepard mumbled, thinking back to the rare times he woke up confused, lying naked beside a stranger— too scared to call anyone, and too damn sore to make it home.</p>
<p>"What the hell does that mean? You aren't making any sense," Kaidan insisted.</p>
<p>"I'm sick," Shepard replied quietly.</p>
<p>"What?"</p>
<p>"My head— it ain't right. It never was," Shepard admitted as his voice cracked under the strain of trying to hold back the tears.</p>
<p>"Does it have anything to do with those pills you have to take?" Kaidan asked anxiously, knowing deep down what they were really for, "Are you depressed— bipolar maybe?"</p>
<p>"How did you—"</p>
<p>"I looked at them when you were in the shower. I knew I shouldn't have, but I did," Kaidan admitted in embarrassment.</p>
<p>Shepard's heart started to race as he stood and began to pace nervously.</p>
<p>'What do I do now!? He ain't gonna want to be around me no more,' Shepard panicked.</p>
<p><em> 'It had to happen sooner or later. He needs to know what he's getting into. It ain't gonna be easy being with you, and you know it,' </em> the voice replied, <em> 'If he gives a damn about you at all, he'll at least try to understand you and your sickness.' </em></p>
<p>"I know, but what if I scare him away? I don't want him to leave," Shepard said aloud, causing Kaidan to tense at the sight of the blue-eyed blonde.</p>
<p>"Shepard, what's wrong? Please, tell me what's wrong," Kaidan whispered.</p>
<p>"I— uh— I got schizoaffective disorder. I take an antipsychotic depot shot once every two weeks. Besides my anti-seizure medication, the other pills are mood stabilizers and a few other things to help me manage it. I usually do good, but sometimes— no matter what I do— I have episodes. Sometimes I'm so goddamn manic that I can't function. There's times when I don't know where the fuck I am or what the hell I'm doing. As long as I take my meds, it don't happen often," Shepard explained nervously.</p>
<p>Kaidan said nothing— he just stared in shock as his brain slowly processed what Shepard had just told him.</p>
<p>"You don't gotta say nothin'. I understand," Shepard smiled sadly before grabbing his leather jacket from the chair. "I'll— uh— sleep on the couch. You can have the bed. I'm sorry, K. I should have told you sooner." </p>
<p>Kaidan tried desperately to find his voice, but he just couldn't. He just continued to stare as Shepard quietly left the room. </p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p><em> 'Don't cry, Shepard. It ain't your fault, and if Kaidan can't accept the way you are, then you really don't need him. It's best you know now,' </em>the voice said sympathetically.</p>
<p>"I wish I was dead," Shepard cried, "Ain't nobody ever gonna love me. Aaron was the only one. He was the only one to see <b>me</b> and not this goddamn sickness. I feel so fucking tired. I just ain't got the will to keep pushing through. Kaidan was the only thing I had to look forward to, and I fucked it all up."</p>
<p><em> 'Don't talk like that,' </em> the voice insisted. <em> 'I know you're tired, but you didn't fuck anything up. You can't help that you're sick, you know that, right.' </em></p>
<p>"I hate how I am," Shepard said as he continued to weep, pulling his jacket tight around himself as he rocked back-and-forth in the darkness of the garage.</p>
<p>Kaidan slowly opened the side-door to the garage— his heart, breaking when he heard the muffled sound of someone crying— </p>
<p>"Shepard," Kaidan whispered quietly.</p>
<p>Shepard said nothing— he just covered his mouth in an attempt to stifle his cries.</p>
<p>"Shepard, I know you're here. I want to talk to you," Kaidan insisted as he tried desperately, in the dark, to make out where exactly the young blonde was hiding. </p>
<p>Growing tired of the dark, Kaidan finally turned on his phone's light— slowly scanning the room until he found Shepard sitting on the floor with his long dark-blonde hair covering his face— his shoulders shaking with every breath.</p>
<p>"John," Kaidan called out as he made his way over to the upset young man, kneeling in front of him to try and gauge the blue-eyed teen's condition.</p>
<p>Kaidan's eyes grew wide at the vision before him— Shepard had his hand clamped firmly over his mouth— his breathing laboured as he continued trying— as hard as he could— to stifle his emotions.</p>
<p>"John, don't do that," Kaidan pleaded as he gently pried Shepard's hand free from his face. "It's okay."</p>
<p>Shepard still refused to look Kaidan in the eye— hanging his head, hoping to hide behind the curtain of dark-blonde hair.</p>
<p>"John, your breathing is way too erratic. You need to calm down, baby," Kaidan instructed, causing Shepard to glance up at the whisky-eyed brunette.</p>
<p>"Don't— worry— about— me," Shepard replied, struggling to catch his breath as he spoke.</p>
<p>"Take your time— just concentrate on your breathing. Just breathe for me," Kaidan whispered as he touched Shepard's left cheek.</p>
<p>Shepard couldn't help but lean into the touch as he tried his best to do as he was told. Once his breathing had calmed, Kaidan wiped the tears from Shepard's sad blue eyes.</p>
<p>"You don't gotta pity me, K. It's okay. I wouldn't wish me— on anyone. It was selfish of me— not telling you about me. I just wanted a little time— just a little," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p>
<p>"Shepard, look at me," Kaidan whispered as he held Shepard's face in his hands, "Nothing's changed. It just took me a minute to process everything you said. I don't wanna stop getting to know you."</p>
<p>"Really? You ain't scared I'll do something stupid," Shepard asked anxiously.</p>
<p>"John, as long as you're honest with me— I think we can handle it," Kaidan replied with a small laugh.</p>
<p>"Why are you calling me, John?" Shepard asked curiously.</p>
<p>"Because it's your name, and it felt more intimate to me. Do you want me to stop?" Kaidan asked softly.</p>
<p>"No. I don't mind," Shepard shrugged as he chanced a look at his beloved friend. "You must think I'm a huge pussy, huh?"</p>
<p>"No, I think you're amazing and beautiful," Kaidan whispered as he kissed Shepard slowly.</p>
<p>Shepard pressed his forehead to Kaidan's as he spoke, "Please, don't give up on me— not yet. I promise I'll be good. I'll do everything I can to make you happy."</p>
<p>"John, you don't have to do anything special— just be yourself," Kaidan replied with a sweet smile. "Come on, let's go back to your room, eh. I wanna get to know you a little more."</p>
<p>"Okay," Shepard nodded as he allowed Kaidan to help him up off the floor and lead him back to the bedroom.</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>Once they returned to the bedroom, the two decided to finish off the wine before continuing their interrogation of each other—</p>
<p>"How many foster homes have you been in?" Kaidan asked as he sat the empty wine bottle on the floor next to the nightstand.</p>
<p>"Hell, I ain't too sure. I can't remember stuff too good lately. Let me think— I was fostered twice before I was a year old, then the first foster parents that I actually remember were the Stevensons, that was when I was six. They kept me until I was eight. I met Aaron when I was in their home," Shepard explained truthfully.</p>
<p>"What made them send you back?" Kaidan asked curiously.</p>
<p>"They were gonna have a kid— a biological one. They couldn't afford to raise two, so— I had to go," Shepard shrugged.</p>
<p>"That's awful," Kaidan said with an air of disgust.</p>
<p>"I didn't mind. I didn't like it there. It just hurt because I was separated from Aaron. I didn't see him again until my eleventh birthday. We met again after I was fostered by a guy named Robert Friesen. He started fostering me when I was at the tail end of ten," Shepard's demeanor immediately changed, almost as if he was far away— his brow furrowed in what looked to Kaidan like pain.</p>
<p>"You mentioned before that something happened when you were eleven. What was it?" Kaidan asked, dreading the answer.</p>
<p>"It ain't important," Shepard whispered as he cleared his throat and began to speak again,  "The next ones were when I was twelve— a temporary placement type deal— the McDonalds. They had a son that liked me. He was a sweetheart. He wasn't my type, but he was nice. After that— when I was about fourteen— I was placed with a couple, the Whites. They turned out to be drug dealers. They had me selling for them."</p>
<p>"You were a drug dealer?" Kaidan asked in disbelief.</p>
<p>"Yeah. I ain't proud of it. I fucking hated it, but I didn't have a choice. They threatened to have me institutionalized for not taking my meds. The thing is, they wouldn't give 'em to me. It wasn't long after that I had my first psychotic break. That's when I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder."</p>
<p>"Did they send you back because you got sick?" Kaidan asked curiously.</p>
<p>"Nope. When I got out of the hospital, they immediately had me selling again. Anyway, long story short— everything went to hell, and I was hospitalized. I was also looking at jail-time for drug possession. That's how I met Daddy. He kept me from going to jail. Instead of jail, I had to attend rehab."</p>
<p>"You're a former addict," Kaidan asked in shock.</p>
<p>"No, nothing like that. I had a high amount of fentanyl in my system when I was hospitalized, so they assumed I was a junkie. And— before you ask— I tried to kill myself with fentanyl, that's the reason I had so much in my system. Aaron found me before it was too late," Shepard half-explained.</p>
<p>"Why did you do that?" Kaidan asked with a hint of sadness in his voice.</p>
<p>"I don't really wanna talk about it— maybe, one-day, eh," Shepard replied with a smile. "Anyway, once that was over, they placed me with a couple— named Grant. Things didn't go too good there, and I was beaten pretty bad— left in an alley to rot. After that, I lived on the street for nearly a year before I got caught breaking into a hockey rink. A short time after, I ended up with an extremely religious family named the Tylers. They found out I was gay and nearly beat me to death— you know, to get the devil out of me. Once I came to, I wandered out of the house. Daddy found me the next morning, leaning against an old apartment  building. He said enough was enough and agreed to foster me. And that, as they say, is that."</p>
<p>"Your life hasn't been an easy one," Kaidan admitted with a sympathetic tone. "Mine is rather simple by comparison."</p>
<p>"Simple is good, K. I would have loved for things to have been simple," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p>
<p>"I can imagine," Kaidan nodded in understanding. "My childhood was pretty dull— nothing to tell, really. So, I guess we can move on to the next question."</p>
<p>"Fair enough. Do you find other men attractive— other than me, I mean," Shepard asked curiously.</p>
<p>"Hmm— I suppose I do, but not enough to pursue any of them. I don't know why I feel that way, but I do. You're the only man that I've ever wanted to pursue," Kaidan admitted truthfully.</p>
<p>"So— I guess that means I'm the first guy you've ever kissed," Shepard asked with an approving grin.</p>
<p>"Uh— yes, you're the first and only guy I've ever kissed," Kaidan replied with a smile.</p>
<p>"Was it as good as kissing a girl?" Shepard asked curiously.</p>
<p>"It was better, actually. You're a great kisser," Kaidan grinned.</p>
<p>"Yeah. I'm good with my mouth," Shepard winked suggestively.</p>
<p>"That you are," Kaidan chuckled in amusement. </p>
<p>"So, how many girls have you dated?" Shepard asked, cocking his head to the side as he spoke.</p>
<p>"Oh, I never did answer that first question, did I," Kaidan replied with a grin, "I've had seven girlfriends, but most were harmless puppy-love-type situations. Only three were actually official. I had two in middle school. They never went any further than kissing. Then in high school, I started dating Rahna. She was my first."</p>
<p>"So— you've only slept with one person?" Shepard asked in disbelief.</p>
<p>"Yes. Is that really so hard to believe? I don't take sex lightly," Kaidan explained.</p>
<p>Shepard studied his beloved friend's face before answering. "Not really. I can tell you're a good guy."</p>
<p>"Thank you. Would you like to ask me anything else?" Kaidan asked curiously.</p>
<p>"Yeah— I'm just gonna ask one more question— you don't have to answer if you don't want to. I won't be mad if you refuse," Shepard promised.</p>
<p>"Alright. What's the question?" Kaidan asked, preparing himself for anything.</p>
<p>"Why are you so afraid to touch me?" Shepard asked nervously, obviously afraid of the answer.</p>
<p>"I'm not afraid— I'm nervous," Kaidan answered truthfully.</p>
<p>"Okay. Do you mind if I ask why?" </p>
<p>"I'm not sure— it's, probably, because I've never touched another guy like that before. That, and the fear of disappointing someone," Kaidan explained nervously.</p>
<p>"K, baby, there's no way you could ever disappoint me," Shepard assured the whisky-eyed brunette.</p>
<p>"I know— but it's not just you— it's my parents. I don't want to disappoint them," Kaidan admitted truthfully.</p>
<p>"Are they homophobic?" Shepard asked nervously.</p>
<p>"No— they really aren't. It's just— it's always different when it's your own kid. No matter how open-minded people are, sometimes they have trouble accepting things when it hits that close to home. I worry that it may be an issue for them," Kaidan explained.</p>
<p>"Why do you think it would be an issue?" Shepard asked curiously.</p>
<p>"Well, my mother is from a pretty religious family. I can't help but think that maybe, just maybe, some of those beliefs might still exist in her heart. My cousin, Ashley, reminded me of just how strong their beliefs were on the subject. I'm just not sure where my mother stands," Kaidan admitted truthfully.</p>
<p>"If you're that certain, then we just won't tell anyone until you're ready," Shepard suggested, hoping to alleviate some of Kaidan's worries.</p>
<p>"Yeah. That's one way to handle it, I guess," Kaidan agreed with a nod.</p>
<p>"Come here," Shepard motioned for Kaidan to come closer.</p>
<p>Once Kaidan was close enough, Shepard began to kiss him gently— taking his time, trying his best to show Kaidan how he truly felt.</p>
<p>The two began to grow more desperate as they continued their exploration of each other's bodies.</p>
<p>It didn't take long until Shepard had Kaidan fully nude, begging for Shepard's touch.</p>
<p>"Please, more," Kaidan whined as Shepard took him into his mouth. "Yes—"</p>
<p>Kaidan moaned as Shepard took him deeper into his throat. Shepard continued to pleasure the whisky-eyed brunette until Kaidan was just on the verge of cumming before Shepard took the young man from his mouth, causing Kaidan to whine in frustration—</p>
<p>"Tell me what you want, K," Shepard demanded, wanting Kaidan to voice his desires.</p>
<p>"I wanna cum," Kaidan admitted as he tried his best to thrust back into Shepard's hot mouth.</p>
<p>"Where? Where do you wanna cum?" Shepard asked as he gently teased the tip of Kaidan's cock with his tongue.</p>
<p>"In your mouth. I want to cum in your mouth," Kaidan replied— his face turning red in embarrassment.</p>
<p>Shepard just smiled as he took Kaidan back into his mouth, allowing the older man to use his throat with reckless abandon.</p>
<p>It didn't take long until Kaidan was cumming down Shepard's waiting throat. </p>
<p>Once Kaidan's body was fully spent, Shepard quickly kissed the whisky-eyed brunette deeply, allowing Kaidan to taste himself with every swipe of his very talented tongue.</p>
<p>"Do you like how you taste, baby?" Shepard asked with a loving smile.</p>
<p>"I do. John?"</p>
<p>"Hn?"</p>
<p>"How do you taste?" Kaidan asked nervously.</p>
<p>"Do you wanna taste me, K?" Shepard asked quietly.</p>
<p>Kaidan nodded, slowly, as he placed his hand over Shepard's clothed cock, gently stroking him through the thin fabric.</p>
<p>"Do you wanna touch me first, baby?" Shepard asked as he continued to study his lover.</p>
<p>"Yes," Kaidan answered simply.</p>
<p>Shepard rose from the bed to quietly remove his sweatpants— fully exposing himself to Kaidan's watchful eye.</p>
<p>Kaidan's eyes went wide before dilating in lust. "Can I touch you?"</p>
<p>Shepard said nothing— he just nodded as he returned to his spot on the bed— getting close enough for Kaidan to take him in hand.</p>
<p>"You're well-endowed for sure," Kaidan whispered, looking into Shepard's sapphire eyes as he continued to stroke the hardening flesh, "How big do you get?"</p>
<p>"It depends," Shepard shrugged. "You can taste me if you want."</p>
<p>"Shouldn't you get a bit harder first?" Kaidan asked nervously, unsure of what to do next.</p>
<p>"Don't worry, baby. I'll grow plenty in your mouth," Shepard grinned— his grin quickly fading when he saw the sheer look of fear in Kaidan's whisky coloured eyes. "K, if that scares you, you can just keep touching me— or we can just stop. You don't have to do anything you don't want to."</p>
<p>"I— I want to. I'm just— I'm not sure what to do," Kaidan admitted. "Do I try to do what you do?"</p>
<p>"NO," Shepard said with a firm voice. "You don't have to do anything I do. You just do whatever <b>you </b>feel like doing. Experiment all you want, baby. I'll let you know if anything makes me uncomfortable."</p>
<p>"You'd let me— I mean, it wouldn't bother you," Kaidan asked in disbelief.</p>
<p>"Not at all. I want to be your first K, but I want you to be totally comfortable when we finally take that step. I want you to figure out what you want, so please, do whatever you want to me," Shepard assured the whisky-eyed brunette.</p>
<p>Kaidan looked deep into Shepard's too-blue eyes before kissing him passionately. </p>
<p>'What made you so willing to give yourself away like this?' Kaidan thought to himself as he reluctantly made his decision—</p>
<p>Kaidan slowly stroked Shepard's impressive length before gingerly licking the tip.</p>
<p>'It's not what I expected. It isn't bad at all,' Kaidan thought to himself as he became just a bit braver— kissing his way gently down the length before taking the head into his mouth.</p>
<p>Shepard's breathing began to speed up as Kaidan continued to grow bolder.</p>
<p>It wasn't long before Kaidan attempted to take Shepard deeper into his mouth, causing the older man to gag just a bit before Shepard gently stopped him.</p>
<p>"That's enough, baby," Shepard whispered as he kissed Kaidan softly.</p>
<p>"I wanna know what you taste like," Kaidan insisted.</p>
<p>"You will— just take it slow and don't try to overdo it," Shepard said as Kaidan once again took Shepard into his mouth.</p>
<p>Once Kaidan got the hang of it, he used his hand as well as his mouth to bring Shepard to the edge.</p>
<p>"K, I'm gonna cum, Are you ready? If you ain't you need to stop now," Shepard warned as Kaidan continued to pleasure the blue-eyed blonde until— finally— Shepard came with a muffled cry.</p>
<p>Kaidan struggled at the sheer amount of semen that began to flow from Shepard— no matter how hard he tried— he just could not manage to swallow it all—</p>
<p>"<em>Cough— Cough— </em>I'm sorry. I just can't," Kaidan apologized as he stroked Shepard to completion.</p>
<p>Shepard groaned as his body finally calmed. Looking down, he couldn't help but grin at the sight—</p>
<p>"Your face— I accidentally got cum on you," Shepard admitted as he bent down to lick the stray strands of cum from his lover's face.</p>
<p>Kaidan surprised Shepard by pulling him into a fierce kiss—</p>
<p>"You taste good," Kaidan grinned as he kissed Shepard once more.</p>
<p>"You like my taste?" Shepard asked curiously.</p>
<p>"I do. It surprised me. I thought it would taste like bleach," Kaidan admitted, "But you're sweet."</p>
<p>Shepard couldn't help but laugh a bit. "Why, thank you. Why did you think I'd taste like bleach?"</p>
<p>"I read it somewhere," Kaidan admitted with a shrug.</p>
<p>"You've been doing your homework. That's good. You gotta know that you don't taste like bleach either. I know you've tasted yourself on my tongue," Shepard reminded the inexperienced man.</p>
<p>"I thought maybe it tasted salty because it wasn't straight from the source. I thought, maybe, your mouth somehow changed the flavour," Kaidan explained. "So, I guess the bleach thing is a myth?" </p>
<p>"I've actually been with guys that taste like bleach. It just depends on the person. A guy's diet can affect the taste too," Shepard explained. "Have you ever tasted your own, like after you masturbate?"</p>
<p>"Not yet," Kaidan admitted. "I'm afraid to taste myself. If I taste bad, then I'll feel bad about cumming in your mouth."</p>
<p>"K, you don't taste bad— you're just a tad bit salty. I would have let you know if I didn't like the taste," Shepard assured him.</p>
<p>"Okay. That's good," Kaidan said as he gave a sigh of relief. "Why are you so sweet tasting?"</p>
<p>"My diet, probably," Shepard admitted. "I eat a lot of sweet fruit."</p>
<p>"Sweet fruit?" Kaidan asked skeptically.</p>
<p>"Yep. And cranberry juice," Shepard explained.</p>
<p>"Cranberry juice," Kaidan repeated, cocking his brow in amusement.</p>
<p>"Don't worry about it," Shepard laughed. "I love your taste, eh."</p>
<p>Kaidan smiled as he kissed Shepard softly. "I can't wait to be inside you, but I'm still not ready yet. I know I must be driving you crazy. Forgive me."</p>
<p>"You know, we can have simulated sex," Shepard suggested.</p>
<p>"Simulated sex? You've lost me," Kaidan admitted.</p>
<p>"We could just grind against each other. You can thrust against me without actually penetrating me," Shepard explained.</p>
<p>"You mean like frottage?" Kaidan asked as understanding finally dawned on him.</p>
<p>"Yep. Do you wanna try it with me?" Shepard asked quietly.</p>
<p>"Sure," Kaidan quickly agreed— eager to experiment with his beloved.</p>
<p>"Lie back, baby," Shepard instructed as he slowly straddled Kaidan's naked waist— moving until their penises lined up. Shepard wrapped his hand around both and stroked them until they were fully erect.</p>
<p>Kaidan moaned as Shepard began to grind against him. Shepard made certain to keep their cocks well-aligned as he continued to increase the friction.</p>
<p>Kaidan's breath heightened with every thrust of Shepard's hips. It wasn't long before Kaidan was moving with the blue-eyed beauty— grabbing onto Shepard's hips so tight that he was certain there would be a bruise tomorrow.</p>
<p>"You feel so good," Kaidan whispered as the sweat began to pour from both their bodies.</p>
<p>"Does it feel good, baby?" Shepard asked as he continued to thrust against the whisky-eyed brunette.</p>
<p>"God, yes," Kaidan admitted as he kissed Shepard hard before grabbing the blonde's ass firmly— pulling Shepard tight to his body.</p>
<p>The two continued on for several minutes until finally—</p>
<p>"I'm so close," Kaidan moaned as Shepard increased the tempo just a bit.</p>
<p>"Me too, baby. You wanna cum together," Shepard asked as he slowly ground their oversensitized cocks together.</p>
<p>"Yes," Kaidan moaned as Shepard vigorously increased the friction until they ultimately reached their peak.</p>
<p>The two came nearly simultaneously, leaving their stomachs covered in the sticky heat of their release.</p>
<p>"That was incredible," Kaidan praised as Shepard laughed into the hollow of his neck.</p>
<p>"Yep. And this ain't half as good as anal," Shepard informed his lover with a grin.</p>
<p>"Really? I hope I can survive the orgasm," Kaidan chuckled as he kissed Shepard's sweat-soaked dark-blonde hair.</p>
<p>Shepard laughed as he removed himself from Kaidan's spent body. </p>
<p>"Where are you going?" Kaidan asked curiously.</p>
<p>"I'm gonna get a washcloth. We're a bit sticky," Shepard admitted as he quickly retrieved a washcloth from the closet. "I'll be right back."</p>
<p>Kaidan nodded as he stretched his arms over his head. "I never thought non-penetrative sex so could be so good," Kaidan thought aloud.</p>
<p>"I'm back," Shepard announced as he gently cleaned the semen from Kaidan's chest. "There— all-clean. Do you want new sheets?"</p>
<p>"Nah. I think we managed to keep them clean— well, mostly clean, anyway," Kaidan grinned as he kissed Shepard once more. </p>
<p>"I'll be right back. I'm just gonna toss this in the hamper," Shepard said as he made his way to the closet, only to stagger a bit on his way back to the bed.</p>
<p>"Shepard," Kaidan called out as he rushed to steady his lover. "Are you alright?"</p>
<p>"Y-yeah— my head is spinning," Shepard admitted as Kaidan led him to the bed.</p>
<p>Shepard sat down and immediately placed his head in his hands.</p>
<p>"Do you want anything to drink?" Kaidan asked, unsure of what to do.</p>
<p>"Yeah. Do you mind getting me a bottle of water?" Shepard asked as a wave of nausea hit him.</p>
<p>"No problem," Kaidan replied as he hastily put on a pair of sweatpants before leaving to retrieve the water.</p>
<p><em> 'I think it's time you went to the goddamn hospital,' </em>the voice said in a tone that was more demanding than suggestive.</p>
<p>"It's just the wine disagreeing with me. That's all," Shepard insisted.</p>
<p><em> 'Uh-huh,' </em> the voice said in annoyance, <em> 'You are a stubborn ass!' </em></p>
<p>It wasn't long before Kaidan came rushing through the door, carrying an ice-cold bottle of water. "Here you go," Kaidan said as he handed Shepard the freshly opened bottle of water.</p>
<p>"Thanks," Shepard took a sip before his stomach began to lurch. "I need to go to the washroom. I'm gonna fucking puke."</p>
<p>"Let me help you," Kaidan insisted as he steadied the sick blonde— quickly leading him to the nearby washroom—</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>Kaidan could hear the sound of Shepard gagging from outside of the washroom, and it frightened him to no end. Then, finally, after ten-minutes of gagging, Shepard finally emerged from the washroom. </p>
<p>"Sorry it took so long," Shepard apologized with a grin. "I had to brush my teeth."</p>
<p>"Are you okay?" Kaidan asked in concern.</p>
<p>"I'm fine. It was just the wine. It didn't agree with me. My body got overheated, and it made me a bit nauseous," Shepard said as he took Kaidan by the hand, "I'm exhausted— let's go to bed, eh."</p>
<p>"Sure," Kaidan smiled, fully content with Shepard's explanation.</p>
<p>"What side of the bed do you like?" Shepard asked as he stood at the foot of the bed.</p>
<p>"Uh— the right, from this angle," Kaidan grinned, hoping Shepard wouldn't mind sleeping on the left.</p>
<p>"Well, that worked out great. I sleep on the left," Shepard grinned as he made his way to the left side of the bed.</p>
<p>"Do you mind if I hold you again?" Kaidan asked as he made himself comfortable in the bed.</p>
<p>"I don't mind. I like it when you hold me," Shepard admitted as he turned out the lights before climbing into bed.</p>
<p>Kaidan immediately pulled Shepard close— until Shepard's back was flush against Kaidan's chest. Kaidan placed his hand over Shepard's heart.</p>
<p>"Are you nervous, baby," Kaidan asked in confusion.</p>
<p>"No, why do you ask?" Shepard asked with a yawn.</p>
<p>"Your heartbeat seems a little fast," Kaidan explained quietly.</p>
<p>"It does that sometimes— especially after sex. I'll be fine," Shepard promised as he turned to face his worried lover. "Don't worry about me, eh," Shepard said with a gentle smile as he kissed Kaidan softly.</p>
<p>"Alright. I'll try not to worry," Kaidan promised as he pulled Shepard close— holding him tight. "Goodnight, John."</p>
<p>"Goodnight, K," Shepard whispered as he closed his eyes and let himself drift off to sleep.</p>
<p>Kaidan waited patiently for Shepard's heartbeat to return to a semi-normal rhythm before allowing himself to drift off to sleep.</p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next Chapter:  Shepard meets his grandfather—</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Grandfather</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Shepard meets his grandfather— Jon Grissom—</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Good morning, honey," Anderson said as he greeted his fiancée with a kiss.</p><p>"Good morning, babe. Did you sleep well?" Kahlee asked as she poured him a cup of coffee.</p><p>"Yep. I slept like the dead. Overtime had me totally exhausted. What time did Shepard come home? Did his date go well?" Anderson asked as he took a sip of his coffee.</p><p>"He came in at around ten-thirty last night. And the date must have exceeded all expectations because Kaidan's here too." Kahlee explained in a disapproving tone.</p><p>"Kaidan's here? Where did he sleep?" Anderson asked, cocking his brow in amusement.</p><p>"You know damn well where he slept," Kahlee said with a small laugh. "Are you going to talk to John about his behaviour?"</p><p>"Kahlee, just because Kaidan stayed in John's room doesn't mean they had sex," Anderson reminded his love.</p><p>"David, this is John we're talking about. You know damn well they had sex— or some form of it anyway," Kahlee insisted in annoyance.</p><p>Anderson couldn't help but laugh at his fiancée. "Kahlee, be honest— would you rather John spend the night in some random guy's bed or be safe in his own bed with a nice guy like Kaidan? Personally, I'd rather have him be here with Kaidan."</p><p>"That <b>is </b>true. I just don't want Kaidan's parents to be upset with us," Kahlee explained,  "I'm almost certain they wouldn't allow John to sleep in Kaidan's bed."</p><p>"I understand. So— does this mean they're finally a couple?" Anderson asked, wagging his eyebrows for emphasis.</p><p>"I don't know. I hope so. I'm worried about John, and I think Kaidan could be good for him," Kahlee admitted truthfully.</p><p>"I'm worried about him too, but he insists that he's doing fine," Anderson admitted with a frown.</p><p>"I know. He's a stubborn one. I wonder how he's going to react when I tell him my parents are coming for the wedding, and that they'll be staying with us for a few weeks. He's not exactly keen on meeting new people," Kahlee said anxiously.</p><p>"That's true, but this is different— he'll be meeting his grandparents for the first time. He'll be nervous for sure, but once he gets used to the notion, I think it'll make him quite happy," Anderson grinned.</p><p>"About that— I need John to kind of keep a lid on the gay thing— just until they get to know him," Kahlee explained nervously, knowing that David would never agree to such a thing.</p><p>"Kahlee, I can't believe you would ever consider asking him to do that," Anderson said in disbelief, "He's our son. He shouldn't have to hide who he is in his own home. I'm against it. If they can't love John for who he is, then maybe John doesn't need them in his life. He has enough to deal with."</p><p>"David, you can't mean that! They're his grandparents, and they should be a part of his life. I just want them to get to know him for who he is first before they judge him based on his sexuality. Is that so wrong?" Kahlee asked anxiously.</p><p>"Kahlee, Jon Grissom never once struck me as a man that would give a damn about anyone's sexuality, so what in the hell makes you think he'll judge Shepard?" Anderson asked in confusion.</p><p>"It's not Daddy I'm worried about— It's my mother. She's a hardcore Southern Baptist. She's the one that'll turn on him in a heartbeat. I hope that once she gets to know John, she'll be able to see past his sexuality and love him for who he is. That's what I'm hoping for," Kahlee explained, "Hell, it took her well over a year to accept you, and now she loves you more than anything— you're like her favourite person. I'm hoping she'll come around for John as well."</p><p>"Kathleen was always a hard woman to get close to. And, if she's that set in her ways, I don't think waiting to tell her will help— but it's up to John. If he agrees, then I won't say anything either. But it's <b>his</b> choice, Kahlee," Anderson insisted.</p><p>"Okay. I'll make it his choice. Do you want to go see if the boys are ready for breakfast?" Kahlee asked as she placed the food on the table. "I made a fruit salad for John. Hopefully, he'll eat it. He hasn't been eating like he usually does."</p><p>"Yeah. I think it might be hockey-related— trying to lose a few pounds to gain a little speed," Anderson said, hoping his hunch was correct.</p><p>"Well, it's working. I can tell he's lost weight, and frankly, he's lost enough, and it needs to stop," Kahlee insisted as she turned her attention to Hailey, who had just entered the room. "Hey, baby. What do you want for breakfast?"</p><p>"I want cereal and a banana," Hailey replied as she took her seat at the table. "Where's Loco? I wanna show him my dress."</p><p>"He's still asleep. Daddy's on his way to wake him. Aren't you, David," Kahlee reminded him with a wink.</p><p>"Oh— I almost forgot," David grinned as he made his way to his son's room.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>
  <b>KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK—</b>
</p><p>Anderson could hear movement from behind the door.</p><p>"Kaidan, if you can— wake Shepard and join us for breakfast," Anderson called out with a hint of a smile on his face.</p><p>"Understood, Sir," Kaidan replied through the door.</p><p>Anderson just shook his head in amusement before returning to the kitchen.</p><p>"Shepard, baby, wake up," Kaidan whispered as he nuzzled Shepard's neck.</p><p>Shepard never moved a muscle— he just continued sleeping peacefully.</p><p>"John, honey, wake up," Kaidan spoke louder than before, shaking the sleeping teen's shoulder in an effort to rouse the young man.</p><p>Shepard still refused to wake—</p><p>"Okay, now you're just acting stubborn," Kaidan said, brow furrowed in annoyance. "John, wake up. I'm not kidding, babe— wake up!"</p><p>Kaidan began slapping Shepard softly on the cheek— until, finally, Shepard's beautiful sapphire-blue eyes fluttered open— a smile slowly forming on his handsome face.</p><p>"Hey," Shepard mumbled as he gave Kaidan a quick kiss.</p><p>"Hey, back," Kaidan grinned as he kissed Shepard slowly.</p><p>"You wanna take a shower with me?" Shepard asked as he rubbed the sleep from his blue eyes.</p><p>"Is that a good idea? I mean, your parents are home," Kaidan informed the young blonde.</p><p>"Relax, K. We'll be quick. I promise, they won't say anything," Shepard explained as he rose from the bed— naked as the day he was born.</p><p>"You really are a beautiful creature," Kaidan whispered as he ran his hand along Shepard's back, stopping to give Shepard a playful slap on the ass.</p><p>"Goddamn, that stings," Shepard jumped with an amused chuckle.</p><p>"I couldn't resist," Kaidan admitted with a wicked grin.</p><p>"So— do you wanna borrow a pair of my jeans and a t-shirt, maybe?" Shepard asked as he retrieved an old pair of jeans for himself, as well as an old grey t-shirt.</p><p>"I don't know if they'd fit," Kaidan replied truthfully. "I think your waist is a bit too narrow. I doubt we're the same size. I'll just wear what I had on last night."</p><p>"If you're sure. You ready to hit the shower?" Shepard asked with a wink.</p><p>"Oh, I'm more than ready," Kaidan laughed as he followed Shepard to the washroom.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>Once the two young men finished their shower, they made their way to the kitchen where Shepard's family awaited—</p><p>"Hey, everyone," Shepard called out as he and Kaidan took a seat at the table.</p><p>"Hi, Kaidan," Hailey waved with a giggle as she continued to eat her cereal.</p><p>"Good morning, Hailey," Kaidan replied back with a smile.</p><p>"Kaidan, feel free to have anything you want," Kahlee insisted as she poured Shepard a cup of coffee. "Would you like some coffee?"</p><p>"Sure. Thank you," Kaidan replied with a smile as he decided to have the bacon and eggs.</p><p>"John, I made a fruit salad for you. I hope you can finish it," Kahlee said with a hopeful smile.</p><p>"I'll try," Shepard promised as he started picking at his food.</p><p>"David, does John look pale to you?" Kahlee asked in concern for her son.</p><p>"Not this shit again," Shepard mumbled in irritation.</p><p>"He does. Are you feeling okay, Son? You didn't have another nosebleed, did you?"Anderson asked, his brow furrowed in concern.</p><p>"Wait— what are you talking about? What nosebleed?" Kahlee asked in confusion.</p><p>"I had a small nosebleed a few weeks back. It wasn't a big deal, and no— I ain't had no more," Shepard lied as he continued to eat his food.</p><p>Kaidan gave Shepard a long glance, taking note of the unusual paleness in his lover's complexion.</p><p>"What?" Shepard asked when he caught Kaidan staring at him.</p><p>"Nothing— just admiring the view," Kaidan smiled as he took a sip of his coffee.</p><p>"Kaidan, do you and Loco wanna see my dress for the wedding? I'm Mommy's maid of honour," Hailey announced proudly.</p><p>"I'd love to," Kaidan agreed with a nod. </p><p>"Come on, and I'll show you," Hailey instructed as she grabbed Kaidan by the hand.</p><p>"Are you coming?" Kaidan asked Shepard with a smile.</p><p>"Sure," Shepard grinned as he stood up from the table.</p><p>"John, you haven't finished eating," Kahlee reminded the young blue-eyed blonde.</p><p>"I'll eat the rest later," Shepard shrugged as he took his sister's other hand as they made their way upstairs to her bedroom.</p><p>"I wish he'd start eating more," Kahlee said as she placed the leftover fruit salad in an airtight container.</p><p>"I'll have a talk with him," Anderson promised as he finished off his coffee.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"Isn't it beautiful, Loco?" Hailey said as she proudly showed off her silken periwinkle-blue dress, complete with lace, sequins, and a beautiful bow in the back with flowers in the centre of the said bow.</p><p>"It's beautiful, Hailey," Shepard agreed with an adoring smile.</p><p>"I'll bet you look like royalty when you're wearing it," Kaidan replied with a wink.</p><p>"Thank you, Kaidan. I do! I can't show you, though. Mommy says I can't wear it until the wedding."</p><p>"I'm sure you'll look like a beautiful princess," Shepard assured his little sister.</p><p>"I hope Ryan likes it," Hailey said as she returned the dress to the closet.</p><p>"I'm sure he will," Shepard chuckled.</p><p>"Loco, have you tried on your suit yet?" Hailey asked curiously.</p><p>"Not yet. I'll probably try it on tonight," Shepard replied with a shrug.</p><p>"Why don't you try it on now?" Kaidan asked with a suggestive wink.</p><p>"Yeah, Loco! I wanna see you in it," Hailey said in an excited voice.</p><p>"Now look what you did," Shepard chuckled as he finally gave in, "Fine! I'll go see if Daddy's picked it up yet."</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"Daddy, did you pick up my suit yet? Hailey and K want me to try it on," Shepard asked his father casually.</p><p>"I picked it up a few days ago. Come on, and I'll help you with the cumbersome parts," Anderson grinned as he led his son upstairs.</p><p>It took Shepard a little longer than usual to try on the brand-new suit. The suit itself was a beautiful midnight blue brocade three-piece suit with a matching tie, and it was definitely chosen with Shepard in mind.</p><p>"Well, look at you," Anderson grinned at his son. "You look very handsome. I think it suits you. Although, the pants look a bit baggy near the waist. I think they gave us the wrong size."</p><p>"Yeah. I think I might've lost a few pounds. It don't look bad, though— does it?" Shepard asked nervously.</p><p>"You look stunning," Kahlee called out from the door.</p><p>"You think so," Shepard asked with a shy smile.</p><p>"Oh, wow," Kaidan called out in wonder as he took in the sight of the blue-eyed beauty. "You're breathtaking."</p><p>"Loco, you're so handsome," Hailey praised with a smile.</p><p>Kaidan quickly took a few photos, knowing that he probably wouldn't get the chance to see Shepard in a suit very often.</p><p>"I think we can get the pants tailored before the wedding," Anderson explained with a smile. "Well, Son— what's the verdict? Do you like the suit, or do you want something else?"</p><p>"I love it. It looks great. It ain't very comfortable, but it sure looks good," Shepard admitted.</p><p>"It's like it was made for you. You're going to be so handsome," Kahlee praised as she kissed her son on the cheek. </p><p>"Thanks. Well, I guess I better get changed. I don't want to ruin it before the wedding," Shepard insisted as he made his way into the master washroom.</p><p>"He cleans up well," Anderson chuckled.</p><p>"He really does," Kaidan agreed with a nod.</p><p>"I wonder if he's going to cut his hair or not?" Kahlee asked aloud.</p><p>"Do you want him to cut his hair?" Anderson asked curiously.</p><p>"It really doesn't matter to me. He's handsome no matter how he chooses to wear his hair," Kahlee said with a smile.</p><p>"He really is," Kaidan admitted, causing Hailey to stare at the whisky-eyed brunette.</p><p>"Are you Loco's boyfriend?" Hailey asked, causing Kaidan to turn bright red in embarrassment.</p><p>"Uh—" Kaidan was saved when Shepard re-entered the room.</p><p>"Here's the suit. I hope I didn't wrinkle it," Shepard said as he handed it to his father. </p><p>"Shepard, I think it's about time I made my way home," Kaidan announced, trying his best to avoid answering Hailey's question.</p><p>"Uh— okay. Let me get the keys and I—"</p><p>Kahlee cut Shepard off mid-sentence—</p><p>"David, can you take Kaidan home?" Kahlee asked, needing the time to talk to her son alone.</p><p>"Sure. Are you ready, Kaidan?" Anderson asked with a smile.</p><p>"I just have to get my coat," Kaidan replied with a smile.</p><p>"It's in my room. I'll come with you," Shepard offered.</p><p>"Sure," Kaidan grinned.</p><p>"John, I want to talk to you after you say goodbye to Kaidan," Kahlee insisted.</p><p>"Uh-huh," Shepard nodded as he followed Kaidan downstairs.</p><p>"Mommy, can I go with Daddy to take Kaidan home?" Hailey asked, her big grey eyes pleading.</p><p>"Sure, baby," Kahlee agreed with a smile as Hailey ran to get her coat.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"Well, here's your coat," Shepard said with a grin. </p><p>"I had a really great time. Maybe we could do it again sometime," Kaidan suggested with a wink.</p><p>"Anytime, baby," Shepard whispered as he kissed Kaidan slowly.</p><p>"Mmm— you taste good," Kaidan admitted as he kissed Shepard once more. "I guess I should get going. How about I take you out for lunch tomorrow?"</p><p>"I'd like that," Shepard admitted. "Just let me know when, and I'll be there."</p><p>"Will do," Kaidan grinned as he made his way to the door. "I'll see you tomorrow, baby."</p><p>"I'm looking forward to it," Shepard grinned as he winked in a suggestive manner.</p><p>"Later, Shepard," Kaidan chuckled.</p><p>"Later, K," Shepard said with a wave as he watched Kaidan disappear behind the door.</p><p><em> 'I wonder what your mom wants? I hope she isn't gonna lecture you about Kaidan,' </em>the voice said with a sigh.</p><p>"God, I hope not. But with my luck— that's more-than-likely what it's about," Shepard sighed as he made his way upstairs— </p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"Mom, where'd you go?" Shepard called out.</p><p>"I'm in the bedroom. Have a seat on the couch, and I'll be out in a minute," Kahlee insisted.</p><p>Shepard couldn't help but feel uneasy— his mind going a million miles a minute as he nervously awaited his mother.</p><p>"JOHN," Kahlee called out as she touched her son's face in order to snap him out of his daze.</p><p>"Huh?" Shepard asked, his brow furrowed in confusion.</p><p>"Are you okay? You aren't having a seizure, are you?" Kahlee asked, knowing the signs well.</p><p>"Uh, no. I was just thinking. I feel fine— really, I do," Shepard assured his mother as he bounced his knee nervously.</p><p>"Okay," Kahlee smiled as she brushed her son's long dark-blonde hair away from his handsome face. "I wanted to talk to you about the wedding."</p><p>Shepard just nodded in confusion.</p><p>"Well, you know that my parents are coming to visit a few weeks before the wedding," Kahlee explained as Shepard continued to nod.</p><p>"They need my room, huh," Shepard figured.</p><p>Kahlee couldn't help but laugh at her son. "No. They'll be staying in the room above the garage."</p><p>"There's a room up there?" Shepard asked in amusement.</p><p>"You didn't know," Kahlee asked, surprised by her son's reaction.</p><p>"No. Daddy never showed it to me," Shepard admitted with a shrug.</p><p>"Knowing your father, he most-likely forgot it existed," Kahlee explained with a laugh.</p><p>"Yeah. I could see that," Shepard grinned.</p><p>"Anyway, as I was saying, your grandparents will be staying for a few weeks, and your grandmother is a devout Southern Baptist. She's set in her ways, so I thought it would be better if— how do I say it?" Kahlee struggled to find the right words.</p><p><em> 'She's gonna ask you to hide your sexuality, ain't she?' </em>The voice said with a disappointed sigh.</p><p>Shepard's brow furrowed. "I won't tell 'em I'm gay. That's what you were gonna ask me to do, wasn't it?"</p><p>Shepard's voice was quiet and sad— making Kahlee feel sick to her stomach.</p><p>"John, I just want them to get to know you first. You understand, don't you," Kahlee asked, feeling guilty for asking this of her son.</p><p>"I understand. I won't say nothin'," Shepard faked a smile before speaking once more. "Was there anything else you needed to tell me?"</p><p>"No. That was it," Kahlee replied as she rubbed her son's back gently.</p><p>"I'm gonna go finish working on my friend's bike. I'll be home before dark," Shepard promised as he made his way downstairs and eventually out of the house—</p><p>"Mom's ashamed of me," Shepard thought aloud as he began walking to his destination.</p><p><em> 'I don't know about that. It sounds like she's trying to keep you from getting hurt,' </em>the voice suggested.</p><p>"I don't know those people. I couldn't care less what they think of me, but she's my mom. It hurts a hell of a lot worse to hear her say that she wants me to hide how I am. It makes me feel like she's embarrassed because of me. I know that might not be the case, but I can't shake this feeling," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p><p>
  <em> 'I know. Just be grateful it's only for two weeks.' </em>
</p><p>"Yeah— that's something, I guess," Shepard nodded as he continued to his destination.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Monday morning—</b>
</p><p>Shepard was getting ready to meet Kaidan for lunch when his mother caught him at the door.</p><p>"John, you need to be home by six," Kahlee insisted, "Your grandparents are coming today, and I want you to meet them."</p><p>"Six? That's a bit early, ain't it," Shepard said with a disappointed frown.</p><p>"John, it's not going to kill you to spend one evening at home. Do this for me," Kahlee requested.</p><p>Shepard gave a heavy sigh. "I'll be here."</p><p>"Thank you, sweetheart," Kahlee smiled as she kissed her son on the cheek. </p><p>"I'll see you later," Shepard said as he made his way to the garage.</p><p><em> 'Ain't it a bit chilly to take your bike?' </em>The voice asked curiously.</p><p>"It'll be fine. I need the air," Shepard admitted as he started his bike and headed to the restaurant of Kaidan's choosing.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"I hope Kaidan hasn't been waiting long," Shepard said as he nervously made his way into the crowded restaurant.</p><p>"Shepard, over here," Kaidan called out, motioning his date over.</p><p>"It's a bit crowded, ain't it," Shepard said nervously, as he took his seat.</p><p>"It really is. We don't have to eat here, you know. We could always go somewhere else," Kaidan offered, noticing how uncomfortable his date was becoming.</p><p>"It's fine," Shepard insisted as he focused on the edge of the table.</p><p>"Are you sure?" Kaidan asked once more.</p><p>Shepard just nodded as he bounced his knee in nervousness.</p><p>The two sat in uncomfortable silence for several minutes, and when the waitress finally took their order— Kaidan requested it to go.</p><p>"You didn't have to do that," Shepard said quietly.</p><p>"I wanted to. I'd like to enjoy our time together. That's just not going to happen if you're upset," Kaidan explained honestly.</p><p>"I—I'm sorry," Shepard apologized, "I didn't mean to ruin everything."</p><p>"John, you didn't <b>ruin </b>anything. I think we'd have a far better time alone— don't you?" Kaidan insisted with a suggestive wink.</p><p>"Yep," Shepard grinned in agreement.</p><p>Once their food was ready, the two young lovers made their way to a quiet area of the nearby park—</p><p>"It's peaceful here," Kaidan announced as he handed Shepard a takeout container.</p><p>"It really is," Shepard agreed as he continued to take in the scenery.</p><p>"So, how's the food," Kaidan asked as he took a bite of his pasta.</p><p>"It's good," Shepard assured the whisky-eyed brunette.</p><p>"Your grandparents are arriving today. Are you looking forward to meeting them?" Kaidan asked as he handed Shepard a bottle of water.</p><p>"No, not really," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p><p>"I thought you were," Kaidan said in mild confusion. "What changed?"</p><p>"Mom's ashamed of me," Shepard shrugged as he picked at his food.</p><p>"What?" Kaidan asked in shock.</p><p>"She wants me to hide the fact I'm gay," Shepard explained, "So, I pretty much have to watch what I say and do for the next two weeks."</p><p>"Does that mean we can't be together for two weeks?" Kaidan asked anxiously, dreading the possibility of a separation.</p><p>"Fuck that! That ain't happening," Shepard assured his lover with a grin.</p><p>"Good," Kaidan chuckled as he continued to eat his food.</p><p>"Wanna walk the trail for a while," Shepard asked as he closed the takeout box.</p><p>"Sure," Kaidan agreed as he placed his empty container in the nearby bin.</p><p>Shepard quickly followed suit, placing his container in the bin before taking Kaidan's hand.</p><p>"It's a beautiful day," Kaidan smiled as he pointed out the vibrancy of the many trees. </p><p>"It really is," Shepard admitted as he leaned over to kiss Kaidan softly on the cheek.</p><p>"I think we can do better than that," Kaidan grinned as he kissed the blue-eyed blonde slowly— taking his time to savour the uniqueness of Shepard's kiss.</p><p>"That was way better than a peck on the cheek," Shepard chuckled as they continued to walk the path.</p><p>Further ahead, the sound of laughter rang out, causing Kaidan to immediately pull away from Shepard, releasing the young blonde's hand quickly.</p><p>Shepard's heart sank as he realized just how uncomfortable Kaidan really was when faced with other people.</p><p>Once they were past the small group, Kaidan immediately reached for Shepard's hand—</p><p>Shepard immediately put both hands in his pockets— successfully avoiding Kaidan's attempt.</p><p>Kaidan's brow immediately furrowed in confusion.</p><p>"Is something wrong?" Kaidan asked nervously.</p><p>"Nope," Shepard replied as he continued to walk beside the nervous brunette.</p><p>"Are you cold?" Kaidan asked, trying to figure out why Shepard's mood had changed.</p><p>"I'm fine," Shepard mumbled as he continued to focus on the path ahead.</p><p>"Is something wrong?" Kaidan asked as he gently tugged on Shepard's shoulder in order to stop the young man from walking.</p><p>"No," Shepard replied as he stared down at his feet.</p><p>"Are you sick?" Kaidan asked in concern.</p><p>"Nope," Shepard mumbled as he continued to stare down.</p><p>"John, look at me," Kaidan insisted as he held Shepard's head in his hands, "Talk to me— tell me what's wrong."</p><p>"I guess Mom ain't the only one ashamed of me, huh," Shepard replied with a quiet voice— a voice that held no anger, and no bitterness, just sadness.</p><p>"John, I'm not ashamed," Kaidan replied, confused by his friend's comment.</p><p>"K, don't fucking lie to me. I ain't stupid. You pulled away so goddamn fast that it was as if I had burned you," Shepard reminded his lover.</p><p>Realization dawned on the whisky-eyed young man, causing him to feel guilty of his actions.</p><p>"I'm sorry— it's a reflex, I never meant to hurt you. I just don't want my parents to find out. My parents have a lot of friends in this part of town, so— naturally, I panicked. I'm not ashamed of you, John. I'm just scared— I don't want them to disapprove of us. I'd like to give them time to get to know you before I just blurt it out to them," Kaidan tried desperately to explain.</p><p>"K, if you were afraid of someone seeing us, then why the fuck did you bring me here?" Shepard asked anxiously.</p><p>"I don't know. I thought it would be a nice place to show you. I wasn't thinking about anyone else, so I never considered the possibility of other people being here," Kaidan admitted truthfully.</p><p>"K, next time, let me pick the place. I know your parents ain't got no friends in the DTES. We can just eat there," Shepard suggested.</p><p>"I don't know. That area makes me uneasy," Kaidan replied with a disapproving frown.</p><p>"K, that's where I'm from. I won't let nothin' happen to you. I promise, you ain't got nothin' to worry about," Shepard tried his best to reassure his lover.</p><p>"Yeah. I suppose you feel just as uneasy here as I do there. It would be unfair of me not to trust you. Next time, we'll go wherever you want," Kaidan promised as he kissed Shepard softly.</p><p>"Okay. So— we're good, yeah," Shepard asked nervously.</p><p>"We're good, love," Kaidan assured the nervous blonde with another kiss.</p><p>"K— are we a couple, or is this just fun for you?" Shepard asked, still unsure as to where they stood.</p><p>"Oh, we are <b>definitely </b>a couple," Kaidan admitted with a grin.</p><p>"That's good," Shepard smiled as he took Kaidan's hand and kissed it lovingly. "Wanna finish our walk?"</p><p>"Sure," Kaidan replied with a nod as they continued down the path— walking hand-in-hand.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"Well, I hate to cut this short, but I gotta get home," Shepard said with a disappointed sigh.</p><p>"Yeah. I was hoping for a little more time with you," Kaidan admitted with a pout, causing Shepard to laugh.</p><p>"I thought I was the only one with a pout," Shepard teased his lover playfully.</p><p>"Well— for the record— your pout is <b>way</b> more impressive than mine," Kaidan said with a playful wink.</p><p>"I better head out. Call me tonight, eh" Shepard said as he quickly kissed Kaidan before putting on his helmet.</p><p>"I will. Text me when you get home," Kaidan instructed before watching his love disappear down the street. "Be safe, John."</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>Shepard pulled into the garage just as his parents arrived with Kahlee's parents in tow—</p><p>"<em>Whistle— </em>That's a sleek looking machine," Kahlee's father, Jon Grissom, noted as he stepped out of the car— his short grey hair blowing gently in the breeze as his crystalline-blue eyes sparkled in amusement. "I'm going to go take a look at that bike."</p><p>"Dad, why don't you wait and let John show you the bike. It would really make him happy," Kahlee pleaded with her stubborn father.</p><p>"Kahlee, he's young, I'm not. I could die well before that boy has time for me. Now, I'm going in that garage, and I'm going to examine that goddamn bike. Am I understood?" Jon said in a commanding voice.</p><p>"Don't use the Lord's name in vain," Kathleen scolded.</p><p>"Oh, shut up, woman. No one's disrespecting your god," Jon grumbled as he made his way into the garage.</p><p>"I swear, if I didn't know any better, I'd almost bet that he was Shepard's biological grandfather," Anderson chuckled as he retrieved the luggage from the trunk.</p><p>"I know. It's eerie," Kahlee said with a pleased grin. "That's why John and I butt heads so much."</p><p>"Don't tell me my so-called grandson is like that heathen," Kathleen said with a concerned look.</p><p>"Mama, would you please not call John your 'so-called grandson'— it's hurtful and disrespectful," Kahlee insisted.</p><p>"Kahlee, I'll never understand how you can feel so close to a boy that you barely know. He was already sixteen years old, for crying out loud. The most you two should have done was give him a place to stay until he graduated. That would have been the proper thing to do," Kathleen insisted, her light-brown hair fluttering in the wind.</p><p>"How very Christian of her," Anderson said sarcastically, as he began taking the luggage to the guest room.</p><p>"Mama, please— just give John a chance," Kahlee pleaded.</p><p>"I'm not going to judge the boy. I'm just stating the facts. Who knows, he might surprise me," Kathleen said, her light-brown eyes filled with doubt.</p><p>"What I don't understand is why you accepted Hailey so quickly, but still have a difficult time accepting John," Kahlee wondered aloud.</p><p>"Hailey's a baby. She's innocent, not like that boy. Besides, she looks like you and David," Kathleen said with a shrug.</p><p>"Mama, that's not a very good reason," Kahlee argued.</p><p>"Fine, you want the truth— I don't trust that boy. He's obviously a troublemaker. You even admitted that he scared you," Kathleen reminded her daughter.</p><p>"I wish I had never told you that. John's a good kid. He hasn't been in any trouble since he's been here. He plays junior hockey, and he's very successful at it. He's really nothing like you're imagining," Kahlee insisted, trying desperately to defend her son.</p><p>"We'll see," Kathleen shrugged. "Now, where's my beautiful grandbaby?"</p><p>"She's at a friend's house. You can come with me to pick her up if you'd like. Just, please, don't say anything bad about John. She adores her brother, and it's a sure-fire way to make her mad at you," Kahlee warned as her mother took her seat on the passenger's side.</p><p>"I'll behave," Kathleen promised as they pulled out of the driveway.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>Jon had been standing for several minutes, just watching the young blonde carefully— impressed by the young man's ethic when it came to maintaining his motorcycle.</p><p>"She's a beauty," Jon said aloud, startling the blue-eyed blonde.</p><p>"Thanks," Shepard said quietly, as he put away the cleaning cloth. "I didn't see you there, or I would have introduced myself. I'm Shepard— uh, John," Shepard nervously introduced himself as he offered his hand to the older man.</p><p>"I'm Jon Grissom— your grandfather, I suppose," the old man grinned as he shook his grandson's hand.</p><p>"It's good to meet you," Shepard smiled nervously.</p><p>"It's good to meet you too, son," Jon said with a smile as he turned his attention towards Shepard's bike. "She's been customized, hasn't she?"</p><p>"Yeah. You're actually the first person, other than my biker friends, that actually noticed," Shepard admitted, his eyes lighting up in interest.</p><p>"Yeah. Regular people can be a bit dull. I'd wager that your mother hates the fact that you even have a motorcycle. I'll bet she begs you not to ride her," Jon surmised, knowing his daughter well.</p><p>"Yep. She hates it. She's afraid I'll get in an accident, but I ain't stupid. I know how to drive, and I know how to do it safely," Shepard explained truthfully.</p><p>"Kahlee got that from the crone," Jon said with a sense of distaste in his mouth.</p><p>"The crone," Shepard asked in confusion.</p><p>"Kathleen, Kahlee's mother. I'm so glad I never married that bitch. My baby girl was the only good thing that ever came of that fuck-up," Jon admitted, causing Shepard's brow to rise in amusement.</p><p>"You and Grandma never married?" Shepard asked curiously.</p><p>"Married!? Hell, we <b>barely </b> dated," Jon laughed. "That woman is the goddamn devil. Don't ever let anyone tell you any different. I hate the fact that I'm going to be stuck with her— for two weeks— in the same room. My skin crawls just thinking about it. Kahlee refuses to let me get a hotel room. That stubborn girl always did like to argue. Now, <b>that</b>— she got from me."</p><p>"Can I ask you something? You don't gotta answer if you don't wanna, but why in the hell did you have a goddamn kid with somebody that you obviously don't fucking like," Shepard asked curiously. </p><p>"Boy, you got a foul mouth on you— I like it," Jon grinned.</p><p>"Oh— I ain't got no filter. My brain don't filter my words. I don't even realize how much I curse. Apparently, it's a whole fuckin' lot, though," Shepard explained nervously.</p><p>"Ah, I don't mind. Words only hurt if you mean them. Words are just words if there's no ill-intent behind them. At least, that's what I believe. I'm a military man, so I curse like a goddamn sailor," Jon admitted, trying to ease the boy's tension. "And to answer your question— she was hot as hell and much younger than me. Everything was great until the bitch opened her mouth. I don't regret it, though. I got my daughter out of the deal, and that's all that matters."</p><p>"True enough," Shepard agreed with a nod. </p><p>"So, what made you change the seat?" Jon asked as he noticed the custom seat.</p><p>"Well, I'm a tall motherfucker, and the bucket-like seat was just too goddamn uncomfortable," Shepard explained.</p><p>"I see you changed the suspension and altered the pipes a bit too. Who did the work for you?" Jon asked curiously.</p><p>"Well, I did, Sir," Shepard admitted nervously, afraid the man had spotted a mistake.</p><p>"<strong>You</strong> did <b>this</b>, by yourself— with no help," Jon asked in disbelief.</p><p>"Uh, yeah. I've been working on bikes since I was twelve. I kinda took to it, sorta like how I took to skating and hockey— it just comes naturally," Shepard explained honestly.</p><p>"You do damn good work! I'm impressed," Jon praised, causing Shepard's heart to swell with pride.</p><p>"Thank you, Sir," Shepard smiled.</p><p>Suddenly, their attention turned to the sound of footsteps as Anderson made his way down the stairs and into the garage.</p><p>"Your luggage is in the room, Dad," Anderson grinned as he came to stand next to his son.</p><p>"So that's where those stairs went," Shepard grinned as he playfully leaned against his father.</p><p>"I'm surprised you didn't explore the area sooner," Anderson chuckled.</p><p>"Honestly— I didn't even notice the stairs until Mom told me there was a room up there," Shepard admitted with a laugh.</p><p>"What am I going to do with you," Anderson asked as he kissed his son on the forehead.</p><p>"Well, Dad, what do you think of your grandson?" Anderson asked as he put his arm around Shepard's shoulder, obviously proud of his son.</p><p>"He's a fine young man, and sharp as a tack when it comes to mechanics," Jon said with a grin. "I can see why you're so proud of him, David."</p><p>"Thank you, Sir," Shepard said quietly.</p><p>"John, son, please don't call me Sir, just call me Grandpa," Jon insisted.</p><p>"Alright, Grandpa," Shepard agreed with a nod.</p><p>"I think we should order takeout tonight. What are you two craving?" Anderson asked as he retrieved his phone from his pocket.</p><p>"Kid, do you like Japanese food?" Jon asked with a mischievous grin.</p><p>"Yeah. Daddy introduced me to sushi recently. I really liked it. That's Japanese, right," Shepard said, hoping he didn't sound too ignorant as he spoke.</p><p>"It is. I want you to try the beef too," Jon insisted as he began to rattle off a list of things for Anderson to order.</p><p>"Okay, Dad, I think I got everything," Anderson said with an amused grin. "Here, you can review the list and add whatever you'd like."</p><p>"Daddy, why is he so happy about ordering Japanese food? Is it his favourite or something," Shepard asked his father curiously.</p><p>"Because your grandmother, Kathleen, can't stand Japanese food. He loves to piss her off," Anderson explained with a smile.</p><p>"Daddy— she ain't gonna like me, is she?" Shepard asked nervously.</p><p>"Son, it took Kathleen well over a year to even speak to me when Kahlee and I first got together. She's a harsh lady, but don't let that upset you," Anderson said with concern for his son, "Her opinion doesn't change the fact that your mother and I love you very much, so just do your best to tolerate her."</p><p>"I don't wanna upset Mom, and I really don't wanna fuck up your wedding," Shepard admitted anxiously.</p><p>"You won't, Son," Anderson promised as Jon cleared his throat.</p><p>"Do you mind if I go with the boy to pick up the food? I want to see how that baby rides," Jon said as he patted the seat gently.</p><p>"Do you mind taking your grandpa with you?" Anderson asked with a warm smile.</p><p>"Not at all. You have to handle Mom for me, though," Shepard insisted as he handed his grandfather a helmet.</p><p>"I'll take care of it. You two be careful, and Shepard, Son, don't get a speeding ticket," Anderson winked as they pulled out of the garage—</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next Chapter:  Shepard meets his grandmother—</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Grandmother</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Shepard meets his grandmother and struggles with her attitude—</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>There's some prescribed minor drug use in the form of marijuana, other than that— no warnings—</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"We're home," Shepard announced as he and his grandfather made their way into the house. </p><p>"Who's hungry? We brought Japanese," Jon announced as Hailey came bouncing through the house.</p><p>Jon couldn't help but chuckle as the tiny little girl hugged his waist. "This beautiful little angel must be my new granddaughter."</p><p>"Hello, Grandpa. I'm Hailey," the little girl announced with a bright smile that melted Jon's heart.</p><p>"Well, hello, angel. Do you like Japanese food?" The old man asked with an adoring smile.</p><p>"I do! Thank you for picking it up," Hailey said as she led her grandfather into the dining room with Shepard trailing behind them—</p><p>"Mommy, Loco's back! He and Grandpa picked up some food," Hailey explained with a grin.</p><p>"Loco?" Both grandparents asked in confusion.</p><p>"It's just a nickname my friend gave me. Hailey likes it better than Shepard," Shepard shrugged as he placed the food on the table.</p><p>"Ugh— I hate that foreign food. Why couldn't you pick up something edible, like barbecue," Kathleen complained as Shepard handed her a brown takeout bag.</p><p>"What's this?" Kathleen asked as she hesitantly took the bag from the blue-eyed teen.</p><p>"The boy picked up a barbecue plate for you. I told him not to waste his time, but he insisted," Jon explained with a sour look on his face. </p><p>Kathleen never said a word to Shepard as she opened the container. "It's not as good as Texas barbecue, but I suppose it'll do."</p><p>"See, John— she's an ungrateful bitch," Jon whispered, causing Shepard to snicker.</p><p>"Having fun?" Kahlee asked in amusement. </p><p>"A little," Shepard grinned as he retrieved the plates from the cabinet.</p><p>"He's a good boy, Kahlee," Jon praised as he took a seat at the table.</p><p>"He really is," Anderson agreed as he started serving up the food.</p><p>"He can be difficult at times, too, though," Kahlee reminded her husband. "Do you want a plate, Mama?"</p><p>"No. This is fine," Kathleen insisted as she took a bite of her food. "Boy, can you get me a Coke, please?"</p><p>"Uh— sure," Shepard agreed, his brow furrowed in annoyance. "What do the rest of you want to drink?"</p><p>"You can worry about them later," Kathleen snapped, "Now do as you're told."</p><p>Shepard flexed his jaw in anger, his fist clenching and unclenching in a steady rhythm.</p><p>"SON," Anderson said, a little louder than usual, "It's okay."</p><p>Shepard nodded as he quietly retrieved the drink for his grandmother. He said nothing as he handed it to her.</p><p>"It's about time," Kathleen said with a condescending look. </p><p>"I hope you choke on it," Shepard mumbled as he turned his attention to his little sister. "Hailey, what do you want to drink?"</p><p>"I want a pop," Hailey said with a smile as she ate a piece of the beef.</p><p>"Who else wants pop?" Shepard asked, trying to get an accurate count in his head.</p><p>"I do," Kahlee replied as she took a seat beside her mother.</p><p>"Daddy? Grandpa?"</p><p>"Do you happen to have a beer? Beer goes great with beef," Jon grinned.</p><p>"I'll have a beer too," Anderson grinned as Shepard retrieved the drinks.</p><p>"There ya go," Shepard said as he handed everyone their drink before taking a seat next to his father.</p><p>Shepard rolled his sleeves up and began to eat his meal.</p><p>"Are those tattoos?" Kathleen asked in shock.</p><p>"Uh, yeah," Shepard replied simply.</p><p>"You let him ruin his skin like that?" Kathleen asked in disappointment.</p><p>"Woman, you used to love my old Navy tattoos," Jon reminded the overbearing lady with a disappointed tone.</p><p>"That's different! That was a sign of camaraderie," Kathleen explained.</p><p>"How do you know his tattoos weren't? You never even bothered to ask him about them," Jon insisted as Shepard's knee began to bounce nervously.</p><p>"Daddy, can I eat in my room?" Shepard quietly asked his father, careful not to speak too loud.</p><p>"Okay, Son. If that's what you want," Anderson nodded as he rubbed his son's back gently.</p><p>Shepard quietly got up from the table, grabbing his plate and water before heading to his room.</p><p>"John, where do you think you're going?" Kahlee scolded,  causing Shepard to freeze in his tracks— unsure of what to do.</p><p>"It's okay, Son. You go on," Anderson called out, causing Kahlee to give him a disappointed look.</p><p>"David, you can't keep doing that," Kahlee insisted. </p><p>"What did he do? The boy was obviously uncomfortable. He just let the boy go eat in peace," Jon explained.</p><p>"Daddy, you don't understand. David lets him do anything he wants. It makes me look like the bad guy," Kahlee explained.</p><p>"Kahlee, that's not true," Anderson insisted.</p><p>"Yes, it is. You just don't see it," Kahlee said with a half-grin.</p><p>"If you ask me, that boy will be the end of your relationship," Kathleen said with an air of certainty.</p><p>"Nobody asked you," Jon scolded.</p><p>"Mama— David and I are fine. We might disagree a bit when it comes to John, but we always work through it," Kahlee insisted.</p><p>"Loco's a good person. Please, don't make him sad," Hailey pleaded, her big grey eyes shining with unshed tears.</p><p>"See what you did, Kathleen? You and your big mouth," Jon growled.</p><p>"Hailey, darling, Grandma doesn't mean anything by it. I'm just worried about your mommy and daddy," Kathleen tried to ease the little girl's mind.</p><p>
  <b>Fifteen minutes later—</b>
</p><p>"Mommy, can I go check on Loco?" Hailey asked, obviously worried about her big brother.</p><p>"Sure, baby," Kahlee smiled as she watched her little girl disappear down the hall.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Hailey met Shepard just as he was coming out of his room, carrying his half-eaten plate of food—</span>
</p><p>"Did Grandma make you sad?" Hailey asked as she hugged his waist.</p><p>"Nah. She just made me nervous," Shepard admitted as he gently stroked her dark hair.</p><p>"Where are you going?" Hailey asked, noticing the leather jacket Shepard was wearing.</p><p>"I'm going for a walk. Do you wanna come along?" Shepard asked his little sister with a smile.</p><p>"Can I," Hailey asked with an excited voice.</p><p>"Sure. Go tell Mom, and grab your coat. It's a little chilly outside," Shepard instructed as he watched the little angel disappear down the hall—</p><p>"Mommy, Loco and I are going for a walk," Hailey announced with a proud smile.</p><p>"Hailey, I don't think that's such a good idea," Kahlee said with a disapproving frown.</p><p>"Mommy, that's not fair," Hailey pouted.</p><p>"Kahlee, let her go with him. He won't go far, not with Hailey by his side. It'll be good for them," David insisted.</p><p>"Baby, listen to him. If they don't spend time together now, they'll regret it later," Jon explained honestly.</p><p>"Okay. You can go. Go get your coat," Kahlee smiled as she kissed her daughter on the cheek. </p><p>"Thank you, Mommy," Hailey hugged her mother tight before running to collect her coat.</p><p>"John, can you please come here for a moment," Kahlee called out.</p><p>"Can you come into the kitchen? I'm in here," Shepard replied back as he emptied his half-eaten plate of food into the disposal.</p><p>"You didn't eat much, did you," Kahlee asked with a sigh.</p><p>"I finished everything. I just left a little rice," Shepard lied. "I'll have her home before ten," Shepard said, already knowing what she wanted to say.</p><p>"Nine, John," Kahlee insisted.</p><p>"I was gonna walk to Kaidan's. That'll take longer," Shepard explained.</p><p>"John, I would prefer it if you kept the visits to a minimum. At least for the next few weeks," Kahlee insisted.</p><p>"Mom— nevermind. Whatever you want," Shepard mumbled as Hailey came running.</p><p>"I'm ready, Loco," Hailey announced, eager to be spending time with her big brother.</p><p>"I'm gonna stop and get Hailey an ice cream cone. So, if I'm a little late, don't be surprised," Shepard explained as he lifted Hailey up onto his shoulders.</p><p>"Isn't she supposed to be walking," Kahlee asked in amusement.</p><p>"She don't weigh much, and I need the exercise," Shepard admitted as he made his way to the door with Hailey still on his shoulders. "We gotta duck, or you'll hit your head, eh."</p><p>"Okay. I'll be careful," Hailey promised.</p><p>"John, don't forget your medication," Kahlee called out.</p><p>"I got it in my pocket. We'll be back soon," Shepard assured his mother as they continued out the door.</p><p>"You trust him alone with the baby," Kathleen called out, startling Kahlee.</p><p>"Mama, don't scare me like that," Kahlee scolded as she took the dirty dishes from her mother. "And to answer your question— yes, I trust him. He's very protective of Hailey. He would never let anything happen to her."</p><p>"What was that about medication? Is he sick?" Kathleen asked curiously.</p><p>"He's on seizure medication. It's a precaution," Kahlee half-answered.</p><p>"Is his skull still cracked?" Kathleen bluntly asked.</p><p>"No, Mama, the fracture healed. If it wasn't healed, do you really think I'd allow him to play hockey," Kahlee asked in annoyance.</p><p>"How is he doing on that front? Is he winning?" Kathleen asked curiously.</p><p>"His team is ranked second. So, yes, they're doing quite well," Kahlee informed her proudly.</p><p>"Your daddy has David in the garage. God only knows what they're up to," Kathleen pouted.</p><p>"Let them talk. It's good for them," Kahlee insisted.</p><p>"I'm looking forward to seeing Hailey's baby pictures. You said her aunt gave them to you," Kathleen said curiously.</p><p>"Yes, she thought Hailey should have them," Kahlee replied truthfully.</p><p>"I don't think it's a good idea for you to allow the aunt to be a part of Hailey's life. What if she tries to take Hailey away," Kathleen said with a concerned tone.</p><p>"Neesha wouldn't do that— she said that Nina would be happy that Hailey's in a safe and loving home. She's Hailey's mother's sister, so she would know Nina better than anyone. There's no way I'm keeping Hailey from her. She's been nothing but supportive of us. So, unless she starts acting suspicious, I don't see why Hailey shouldn't be allowed to talk to her," Kahlee insisted with a shrug.</p><p>"Just keep an eye out," Kathleen warned. "So— is that boy <b>really </b>seventeen?"</p><p>"Mama, he has a name. And, yes, he's seventeen. He just looks older," Kahlee explained.</p><p>"And you seriously see him as your baby?" Kathleen asked skeptically.</p><p>"I do. Is that so difficult to believe?" Kahlee asked with a chuckle.</p><p>"Yes, it really is," Kathleen laughed.</p><p>"Mama, he's just a kid. He may look a hell of a lot older, and he may act a hell of a lot older, but he's still a baby to me," Kahlee insisted.</p><p>"So, when you first saw him, you didn't think he was attractive— in an adult way," Kathleen asked seriously.</p><p>"Oh, my god! You're serious. Okay, fine— yes, when I first saw him— I thought he was quite attractive, but I never thought of him in that way. Ew— I just couldn't, not with the way David talked about him. He was David's baby, and I guess he always will be. Just like he'll always be <b>my </b>baby," Kahlee explained truthfully.</p><p>"Uh-huh," Kathleen said, still skeptical of her daughter.</p><p>"Mama, you need help. You're seriously checking out your GRANDSON. Don't you see how twisted that is?" Kahlee asked, shaking her head in disapproval.</p><p>"Kahlee, he ain't <b>really</b> my grandson, and he ain't <b>really </b>your son. No matter what you say— you haven't known him long enough to feel that way," Kathleen replied. "And to set your mind at ease, I would never hit on a kid, no matter how old he looks. But that don't mean I won't appreciate the view."</p><p>"Once you accept John, you are going to feel so guilty for ogling him— and you'll deserve it," Kahlee warned as she placed the dishes in the dishwasher.</p><p>"Oh, lighten up, baby girl," Kathleen laughed.</p><p>"Mama, why won't you give John a chance?" Kahlee asked seriously.</p><p>"Because I know his type. He's a leech, Kahlee. He's only interested in himself. Do you seriously think he'd hesitate to throw you and David away if it meant saving himself?" Kathleen explained. "It's their nature."</p><p>"That's absurd! It just goes to show how little you know about our son," Kahlee insisted. "And I pity you if that's what you think of him."</p><p>"Then why wasn't he adopted? Can you answer me that?" Kathleen asked in a firm tone.</p><p>"I—I don't know, Mama. John hasn't had an easy life. And he really doesn't need any more negativity around him. So, please, just stop picking at him," Kahlee pleaded.</p><p>"I make no promises," Kathleen replied as she helped Kahlee put away the leftovers.</p><p>"What are you two talking about?" Jon asked as he took a seat at the counter.</p><p>"Nothing, Daddy," Kahlee assured him, not wanting to start another argument. </p><p>"I'm staying with the boy. There's no way in hell I'm staying in the same room as her," Jon stubbornly announced as Kathleen stuck her tongue out at him.</p><p>"Daddy, that isn't a good idea. John— he's very particular. He likes his privacy. I don't think he'll agree to this," Kahlee tried to explain.</p><p>"Nonsense! The boy loves me. He won't mind," Jon insisted. "David's moving my things into the boy's room even as we speak. Trust me, angel, it's for the best." </p><p>"I hope so," Kahlee sighed, hoping her son would understand.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"How's the ice cream, squirt," Shepard asked his little sister as he held her hand tight.</p><p>"It's good. Do you want a bite?" Hailey asked as she offered him the cone.</p><p>"No, thanks anyway, baby girl," Shepard smiled as they continued to walk down the street.</p><p>"Is Kaidan your boyfriend," Hailey asked suddenly, causing Shepard's brow to raise in amazement.</p><p>"You caught on to that, did you?" Shepard asked anxiously.</p><p>"Yep. He looks at you funny— good-funny," Hailey explained.</p><p>"Is that right," Shepard chuckled, impressed by his sister's skills of observation. "And how do I look at him?"</p><p>"You kinda look at him in the same way you looked at Aaron— only sadder, more scared-like," Hailey replied truthfully.</p><p>"You are very observant. I'm impressed," Shepard smiled, just as his head started to swim.</p><p>Shepard began to stagger a bit, but he still had enough balance to pull Hailey close as he quickly found a wall to lean against.</p><p>"Are you okay?" Hailey asked in fear for her brother— her ice cream left forgotten on the sidewalk.</p><p>"I'm fine. I'm just a bit dizzy. Don't worry, Hailey. Just give me a minute, okay," Shepard replied, his voice low and steady.</p><p>"Okay," Hailey said as she hugged her brother tight— leaning her head against him lovingly.</p><p>"Hailey, I don't feel so good. I don't think I'll be able to carry you home. I'm sorry, angel," Shepard apologized as he rubbed her tiny back.</p><p>"That's okay. Maybe we should call Daddy. He can come and get us," Hailey suggested.</p><p>"No. Hailey, baby, listen to me— you can't tell Mom and Dad that I'm sick. It'll only worry them, and it ain't worth worrying about. It'll pass, it always does," Shepard insisted.</p><p>"But— if you're sick, maybe, you need a doctor," Hailey said with concern in her big grey-eyes.</p><p><em> 'The kid's right. Somethin' ain't right. You need a doctor,' </em>the voice agreed with the little angel.</p><p>"I'm fine. I'll be fine," Shepard promised. </p><p><em> 'Stubborn-ass boy,' </em>the voice complained.</p><p>"I guess we better head back, eh," Shepard grinned as he pulled himself up off the wall. </p><p>"Are you sure you're okay?" Hailey asked as she grasped her brother's hand tight.</p><p>"I'm fine, Hailey," Shepard assured her with a kiss to her forehead. "Do you want another ice cream cone— a cup of frozen yogurt, maybe?"</p><p>"Okay," Hailey nodded. "Will you get one too?"</p><p>"Sure," Shepard grinned, hoping the yogurt would somehow make him feel better. "After that— we'll go straight home, okay."</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>They managed to make it most of the way home when Hailey suddenly became very sleepy—</p><p>"Loco, I'm tired," Hailey yawned as she tugged on her brother's shirt.</p><p>"You sleepy, angel," Shepard asked as he picked her up and placed her on his hip. "I'll carry you home, baby."</p><p>"But— you don't feel very good," Hailey reminded her brother as she rubbed her sleepy eyes.</p><p>"I'll be okay," Shepard promised as he kissed her tiny head before continuing home—</p><p>"There you are! I was just about to send your father after you. It's already nine-thirty," Kahlee scolded.</p><p>"Shh— Hailey's asleep," Shepard whispered as he swayed back and forth with Hailey sleeping peacefully in his arms. "We stopped for ice cream."</p><p>"Here, let me take her," Kahlee insisted.</p><p>"I can put her in the bed, Mom," Shepard offered as Kahlee took her from Shepard's arms.</p><p>"She still has to brush her teeth. I'll take care of her, sweetheart," Kahlee replied as she kissed her son on the cheek. "Mama, I'll be back in a few minutes."</p><p>"No rush," Kathleen shrugged as she turned her gaze towards Shepard. "You are a tall drink of water. Was your daddy tall?"</p><p>Shepard visibly tensed at the question. "I never knew him."</p><p>"Well, I know you were too little to remember him, but I figured they would have given you something to remember your parents by. That's what they do in Texas when a baby is orphaned," Kathleen explained.</p><p>"I ain't an orphan— at least, I don't think I am. I'm what they call a safe-haven baby. My mother left me in the lobby of a hospital when I was a few days old," Shepard admitted nervously.</p><p>"Now, why on Earth did she do that?" Kathleen asked in a mocking tone. "Was she a whore?"</p><p>"Uh— I dunno. Maybe— it don't matter," Shepard said with a shrug.</p><p>"I don't know. I think it would bother me, not knowing who my mommy or daddy was," Kathleen said truthfully.</p><p>"I ain't you, though. I don't really give a fuck," Shepard shrugged.</p><p>"Boy, you've got the filthiest mouth I believe I've ever heard," Kathleen scolded.</p><p>"I'm sorry, Ma'am," Shepard sincerely apologized, "I don't mean nothin' by it. I just ain't got no filter. My brain can't seem to screen my words before they come out. I don't even realize I'm cursing half the time."</p><p>"Was your mama on drugs when she had you?" Kathleen asked curiously.</p><p>"Uh— I dunno. Why do you ask?" Shepard asked nervously.</p><p>"That damages the baby's brain. That's— probably— what's wrong with you. Have you ever been on drugs?" Kathleen asked with a judgemental tone.</p><p>"No, ma'am. I'm a hockey player— I steer clear of that shit," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p><p>
  <b>BEEP— BEEP— BEEP—</b>
</p><p>"Goddammit," Shepard cursed as he quietly retrieved a glass of water before taking the pill bottles from his inner pocket.</p><p>"Can you please not say that," Kathleen asked as she watched the boy carefully.</p><p>"Huh? I'll, uh, try," Shepard said as he quickly took his medication.</p><p>"What are those for?" Kathleen asked as she nodded towards the bottles.</p><p>"Um— my head— seizures and stuff," Shepard half-assed the explanation, much to the disappointment of his grandmother.</p><p>"Your granddaddy's taking your room. Your mama tried to stop him, but he's a stubborn man," Kathleen said with a sour look on her face.</p><p>"That's fine," Shepard said with a small smile. "I'll just sleep on the couch. It ain't a big deal."</p><p>"My, my— aren't you the model grandson," Kathleen chuckled in amusement. "Show me your arms."</p><p>"Do what now?" Shepard asked in disbelief.</p><p>"You heard me. Roll up those sleeves and show me those tattoos," Kathleen demanded as Shepard slowly rolled up his sleeves.</p><p>Kathleen took her time examining Shepard's inner-right forearm, tracing the image she found there. </p><p>"Is that a wolf?" Kathleen asked, already knowing the answer.</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>"Why did they add those awful faces coming from its mouth? It looks terrifying like that. It's awful," Kathleen said with a look of disgust on her face.</p><p>"It’s by design. It means something to me. You don't gotta like it. It ain't meant for your understanding," Shepard explained calmly.</p><p>"Uh-huh. I'm certain it means something deep, but it's above my head," Kathleen chuckled.</p><p><em> 'You ain't lying, bitch,' </em> the voice said in annoyance. <em> 'No offense, but your granny's a fucking twat.' </em></p><p>"I know," Shepard accidentally spoke aloud.</p><p>"Was that a dig at my intelligence, young man," Kathleen snapped.</p><p>"What? No ma'am," Shepard apologized.</p><p>"Don't let it happen again," Kathleen warned as she roughly grabbed his left arm. "That's cute. Is that the logo for some sort of football team?"</p><p>"No," Shepard laughed. "It's a hockey team."</p><p>"What happens if you end up working for a rival team?" Kathleen asked in confusion.</p><p>"So what. I'll always be a 'Nucks fan," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p><p>"You are a strange boy," Kathleen said, shaking her head in disbelief. "Who's Aaron?"</p><p>Shepard immediately pulled his hand away, pulling his sleeve down in the process. "My friend. He— uh— he died."</p><p>"Oh— it's a memorial thing— for a minute there, I thought you might be a queer," Kathleen laughed in relief. </p><p>"I take it, that's a huge issue for you," Shepard asked anxiously.</p><p>"It is. Don't get me wrong— I love all people. I just feel sorry for those people," Kathleen replied casually.</p><p>"What do you mean?" Shepard asked in confusion.</p><p>"Well, honey, they're all going to hell. Hasn't your mama ever taken you to church?" Kathleen asked curiously.</p><p>"Uh— no, I don't believe in organized religion," Shepard admitted truthfully. "Too much hate for my taste."</p><p>"Nonsense. You just haven't been to the right one," Kathleen insisted.</p><p>"It ain't for me— sorry," Shepard said with a shrug. "I'm gonna go see if Grandpa needs anything."</p><p>Just as Shepard was exiting the kitchen, his father met him in the hall—</p><p>"Where are you going, Son?" Anderson asked with a grin.</p><p>"To hell, apparently," Shepard sighed.</p><p>"What?" Anderson asked in confusion.</p><p>"Grandma just told me that all queers were going to hell. So— yeah," Shepard said with a sour grin.</p><p>"That woman. Did you tell her you were gay?" Anderson asked curiously.</p><p>"No, but damn if I didn't want to," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p><p>"If she keeps insulting you, I'll take care of it," Anderson insisted.</p><p>"Nah. Don't worry about it, Daddy. She's just a sad old lady that ain't got nothin' better to do in her life. I'm just glad Mom ain't like her," Shepard said with a grin. "I'm gonna go check on Grandpa."</p><p>"Alright, Son," Anderson chuckled as he made his way into the kitchen.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>
  <b>KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK—</b>
</p><p>"Grandpa, are you awake," Shepard asked, not wanting to interrupt the old man.</p><p>"Come on in," Jon replied loudly.</p><p>Shepard's eyes grew wide when he saw his grandfather looking through his picture albums.</p><p>"W—where'd you find those?" Shepard asked nervously.</p><p>"Relax, kid. You and your boyfriend are adorable together," Jon laughed in amusement.</p><p>Shepard let out a sigh of relief. "You ain't mad, or disappointed in me?"</p><p>"Why would I be? I served with people of all colours, creeds, and sexualities— and you know what it taught me? It taught me that people are just people. There are good people, and there are bad people— and I don't think your sexuality makes you bad. You're a great kid, and if he makes you happy, then I say— go for it. I'll accept him, just as I've accepted you," Jon insisted with a loving smile.</p><p>Shepard's sapphire eyes glistened with unshed tears. "Thank you. It means a lot."</p><p>"Do your parents know?" Jon asked curiously.</p><p>"Yeah. They're cool with it. I'm lucky, I guess," Shepard shrugged.</p><p>"So, are you gonna introduce me to this young man you obviously care so much for," Jon asked with a crooked grin.</p><p>"I really wish I could, Grandpa, but I can't. He would have loved you, though," Shepard smiled as a tear escaped his left eye.</p><p>"What do you mean, he <b>would </b>have? Did he break-up with you or something?" Jon asked in confusion.</p><p>Shepard shook his head slowly as he tried to hold back his tears. "No— he— uh— he died— about a year ago now."</p><p>"Oh— son, I'm sorry. I didn't know," Jon apologized as he hugged his grandson tightly. </p><p>"It's alright. You didn't know. I— uh— I have a guy in my life that I'd really like you to meet. I mean, if you're interested," Shepard smiled as he wiped the tears from his eyes.</p><p>"I'd love to meet him. Hell, I'll even give you my opinion on him," Jon offered, "I'm a pretty good judge of character."</p><p>"Right— what about Grandma," Shepard teased, causing his grandfather to break out laughing.</p><p>"You goddamn smart-ass," Jon joked as he punched Shepard playfully in the arm.</p><p>"Sorry. I couldn't resist," Shepard laughed. "I'd love your opinion on him."</p><p>"Good, because you're gonna get it anyway," Jon insisted.</p><p>"Feel free to look around, Grandpa. Just don't look in that long black box. You might get an eye-full," Shepard warned as he retrieved a baggy of weed from the grey box in his closet.</p><p>"Kahlee allows you to smoke weed," Jon asked in disbelief, "I don't believe it!"</p><p>"I got a prescription," Shepard laughed as he showed him the card.</p><p>"So— do you mind if your dear old granddad smokes a little of your stash," Jon asked with a serious look in his eyes.</p><p>"Sure— knock yourself out— literally, if you want. The stuff in the large bag is the best," Shepard explained as he grabbed a pillow and sheet.</p><p>"I can sleep on the couch," Jon offered.</p><p>"Nah. I'm good. I want you to have the bed," Shepard insisted.</p><p>"Thanks, son. Hey, are you headed out for a smoke?" Jon asked curiously.</p><p>"Uh, yeah. You wanna join me?" Shepard offered with a grin.</p><p>"Hell, yes, I do," Jon said as he placed the photo albums back into the large box. "Let me put these back, and we'll be on our way."</p><p>Shepard nodded as he watched his grandfather closely.</p><p>"You ready to go," Shepard asked as he opened the door for his grandfather.</p><p>"Yep, let's go," Jon insisted as he allowed Shepard to lead the way.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>Shepard lit a joint and took a deep hit before passing it to his grandfather.</p><p>"So— Mom wants me to hide my sexuality from Grandma," Shepard informed his grandfather.</p><p>"Well— that's bullshit. But— I get why she'd ask that of you. She wants to protect you from the crone," Jon said as he exhaled slowly before passing it back to Shepard. "That and she probably wants to prevent a scene. Kathleen really knows how to create a shitshow."</p><p>"She said I was going to hell," Shepard said calmly.</p><p>"Kahlee said that?" Jon asked in shock.</p><p>"No— Grandma said it. She doesn't know I'm gay, but said that all queers were going to hell."</p><p>"People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. That woman and her religion— she's a goddamn hypocrite. She had Kahlee out of wedlock and fucks anything that looks at her sideways. Then come Sunday, she acts as if she's never sinned a day in her life. It's sad, really," Jon said with a bitter smile. "Did it bother you?"</p><p>"Nah. I don't believe the way she does, so I don't give a fuck what she says. I've heard it before— And I'll, most-likely, hear it again. If I'm bothered by anything, it's the fact that she'll never accept me. That's gonna hurt my mom, and I fucking hate that," Shepard admitted as he took another hit.</p><p>"You're a good boy. Don't let anyone tell you any different," Jon said as he took the joint from the boy.</p><p>"What in heaven's name are you doing here? Is that pot? Are you giving that boy pot?" Kathleen snapped, angry at her ex-lover.</p><p>"Relax. It's the boy's pot, and he has a prescription, so go suck an egg," Jon growled as he passed the joint back to Shepard.</p><p>"Kahlee allows this," Kathleen asked in disbelief.</p><p>"I'm gonna go try to get some sleep— I'm pretty tired," Shepard admitted, trying to avoid the conversation as he turned his attention to his grandfather.</p><p>"Son, don't move," Jon said calmly, as he retrieved a handkerchief from his pocket. "You've got a nosebleed."</p><p>"Good Lord, it's pouring," Kathleen said as she rushed to the boy's side. </p><p>"I'm fine," Shepard insisted as he tried to help stifle the flow.</p><p>"Here, let me. Go get me a bowl of water and a cloth," Kathleen demanded as Jon hurried to the kitchen. "How much did you use?"</p><p>"What?" Shepard asked in confusion.</p><p>"Don't lie to me, boy. It's obvious— you don't get a nosebleed like this without snorting something," Kathleen snapped.</p><p>"Are you out of your goddamn mind!? I DO NOT DO DRUGS! And I don't appreciate the accusation," Shepard yelled as he removed her hand from his face. "Just leave me the fuck alone! I'll take care of it myself."</p><p>"Fine— if you want to be stubborn. It's your life," Kathleen replied as she made her way to the apartment above the garage.</p><p><em> 'That's telling her! Goddamn bitch,' </em>the voice cheered.</p><p>"Goddammit!" Shepard yelled, knowing he had royally pissed off his grandmother.</p><p>"Where'd she go?" Jon asked in confusion as he placed the wet cloth against Shepard's nose.</p><p>"I fucking snapped at her. She was accusing me of snorting drugs. I got pissed and yelled at her," Shepard explained nervously.</p><p>"I don't blame you. She pushed you far enough," Jon assured his grandson.</p><p>"Yeah. Is it stopping?" Shepard asked anxiously.</p><p>"It's trying to. Do you get these often?" Jon asked curiously.</p><p>"No, not really," Shepard lied.</p><p>"Well, it's nearly stopped. I think you'll live." Jon joked.</p><p>"Thanks, Grandpa," Shepard grinned as he slowly got to his feet. "Well, I'm going to sleep."</p><p>"Sleep is good. I think I'll hit the hay as well," Jon agreed. "Goodnight, John."</p><p>"Goodnight, Grandpa," Shepard said as he made his way to the couch.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next Chapter:  Kaidan and Shepard spend the day together—</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. Wrecked</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Kaidan and Shepard spend the day together. And a traumatic event from Shepard's past rears its ugly head—</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>***WARNING***<br/>GRAPHIC MENTIONS OF PAST RAPE &amp; ABUSE<br/>SEXUAL CONTENT</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>For the next week or so, everything seemed to be going well enough in the Anderson household. Shepard had decided to avoid his grandmother— and her snide remarks— as much as possible. He felt it was for the best, and— for the most part— his mother agreed.</p><p>
  <span>"Boy, put some clothes on. You're about to show everything, and there's a child present," Kathleen scolded as she yanked the sheet from Shepard's half-naked body.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I got pants on, so calm the fuck down. Besides— Hailey ain't even awake yet," Shepard mumbled as he attempted to wipe the sleep from his sapphire eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Those pants are hanging so low— I'm surprised they don't hit the floor when you stand up. Wear some underwear for God's sake," Kathleen scolded as she folded the sheet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What time is it," Shepard asked as he stretched his arms over his head, causing Kathleen to stare.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Mmm— It's seven-thirty," Kathleen replied as she continued to stare at the young man's well-muscled body. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"In the morning," Shepard asked in disbelief.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Of course. It's time to get up. David's taking you to have your suit re-fitted. Apparently, you have an eating disorder and won't stop dieting," Kathleen explained.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What? I ain't got no eating disorder. I eat just fine," Shepard said, confused by his grandmother's words.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm just telling you what your mama told me," Kathleen said as she nodded towards the kitchen, "There's coffee on the counter. If you're hungry, I can make you something."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Nah. I ain't hungry— it's a bit too early for me. But thank you, anyway," Shepard said as he made his way to the counter with his grandmother following close behind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That's a really pretty tattoo you have on your chest," Kathleen said as she touched the phoenix.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah— it is. It's probably my favourite," Shepard admitted as he sipped his coffee.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Boy, you are pure muscle," Kathleen said as she ran her hand along his chest— making him feel a bit uncomfortable. "I'll bet you have girls swarming all over you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Not really," Shepard replied as he began to bounce his knee nervously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why do you do that," his grandmother asked curiously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why do I do what?" Shepard asked as he stared into his coffee cup.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Bounce your knee," Kathleen clarified as she ran her hand along his right side, admiring the beautiful fall coloured maple leaves she found there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's a nervous habit," Shepard admitted as he continued to stare into his cup.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Do I make you nervous, boy?" The older woman asked with a slight chuckle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"A little, ma'am," Shepard admitted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"There ain't no need to be nervous, darlin'. And, please, call me Kathleen," Kathleen insisted as she continued to examine the leaves, "Why maple leaves?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"This </span>
  <b>is</b>
  <span> Canada, isn't it. It reminds me of where I'm from. Vancouver in the fall— it's beautiful. I think that's why Mom wanted to marry in the fall," Shepard answered honestly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why do you call my daughter Mom," Kathleen asked curiously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Because she's my mom. She loves me and cares about me— just like a mother would, or at least how I think a mother would," Shepard tried his best to explain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"She's far too young to be your mama. But— that's between you and her," Kathleen shrugged as she glided her hand over Shepard's sculpted abdomen, "Those are impressive. You must work out like a madman."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Uh, not really. I mean, I train, but I'm not fanatical about it. I guess it's genetic," Shepard admitted, feeling more-and-more uneasy as each second passed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Boy, you got some genes. You should be modeling, not playing hockey," Kathleen insisted as her hand crept ever-lower.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard suddenly stood up, causing his coffee to spill a bit on the counter—</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry. I'll clean it up," Shepard insisted as he grabbed a dishtowel.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Such a messy boy," Kathleen teased. "You better go change— I can see the base of your— thing, and I really don't want Hailey to see it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard said nothing— he just made his way down the hall—</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Trying to be as quiet as possible— Shepard slowly opened his bedroom door. His grandfather was sound asleep, snoring softly, as Shepard quietly made his way to the closet. After retrieving some clothes, his wallet, and a few condoms, the young blonde silently made his way towards the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Got a hot date, son," Jon asked in a playful tone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Nah. I'm meeting up with him later, though. So— you never know— I might get lucky, eh," Shepard grinned, causing his grandfather to laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Did I oversleep?" Jon asked with a yawn.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No, Grandpa. Grandma woke me early. I gotta go get my suit re-fitted," Shepard explained. "You can go back to sleep."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're a good boy," Jon insisted as he turned on his side— ready to get some extra sleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sleep well, Grandpa," Shepard quietly whispered as he made his way to the washroom.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, I guess you're ready to head out," Anderson grinned at his son.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yep. Grandma woke me earlier," Shepard explained.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Boy, I told you to call me Kathleen," Kathleen scolded the blue-eyed blonde.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sorry, ma'am," Shepard apologized, purposefully avoiding using the woman's name.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Let's go," Anderson grinned as he grabbed his keys—</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Do you wanna drive?" Anderson offered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sure," Shepard grinned as he caught the keys his father tossed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Do you know where we're going?" Anderson asked curiously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Uh— Nope. You'll have to tell me," Shepard admitted as he pulled out of the drive.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Alright. I'll guide you— just keep driving until you hit downtown," Anderson instructed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ugh, downtown. I fucking hate the downtown area," Shepard said with a half-chuckle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I know," Anderson chuckled. "The venue Kahlee chose is pretty posh too. I hope that doesn't make you too uncomfortable."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's her day— well, it's your day too, but Mom has been planning this since before I got here— I don't wanna ruin it by complaining," Shepard admitted with a shrug.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thank you," Anderson said, grinning proudly at his son. "Do you mind if we go through the drive-thru somewhere? I didn't have time for breakfast."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sure— if I can find a drive-thru," Shepard nodded as his father chuckled in amusement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We could just stop at a Tim Hortons. Their coffee is decent enough, and I do like their donuts," Anderson suggested.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shouldn't you be watching your figure? I mean— the wedding's in three days. You wouldn't want your suit to become too small for you, now would you," Shepard teased his father playfully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Look who's talking. We're on our way to take in your suit. So, shouldn't you make sure that you don't lose as any more weight before the wedding," Anderson said, only half-jokingly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, yeah— I'll do my best," Shepard promised as he pulled into the parking lot of the closest Tim Hortons. "Go and get your sugar bomb. I'll stay here and wait."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Do you want anything?" Anderson asked, hoping his son would eat something.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Nah. You can get me a coffee, though," Shepard replied as he tapped the steering wheel.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Son, eat something— for me," Anderson pleaded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I can't eat and drive, Daddy," Shepard reminded his father.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Then let's go in and eat. Come on," Anderson insisted, causing Shepard to sigh as he finally gave in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Okay, Daddy. You win," Shepard admitted as he got out of the car. "You can place the order, though."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Will do. What do you want— besides coffee," Anderson asked, pleased that his son had agreed to eat something.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't know— oatmeal, I guess," Shepard said as he opened the door for his father.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oatmeal— okay. Maple, mixed-berry, or plain?" Anderson asked, wanting to get— exactly— what his son wanted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Mixed-berry," Shepard replied as he pointed out a table to his father, "I'll be over there."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Alright," Anderson nodded as he went to place their order.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It only took about five minutes for their order to be complete— with Anderson, much to Shepard's delight, getting a breakfast sandwich instead of a donut.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm glad you decided to get something other than a fuckin' donut," Shepard grinned as he stirred his oatmeal. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, I figured the donut was a bad idea," Anderson shrugged as he took a bite of his biscuit. "How's your oatmeal?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hot," Shepard joked as he gingerly took a bite. "It's good, though."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That's good. Try to finish it, eh," Anderson said as Shepard gave him an amused look. "What?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Nothing— it's just— you don't say eh all that often," Shepard explained. "It sounds funny when you say it, but in a good way, eh."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anderson chuckled in amusement before studying his son's face— his brown eyes filling with concern.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're awfully pale, Son. Are you sure you're okay?" Anderson asked in a serious tone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm okay. I'm just tired. I don't sleep too good with clothes on," Shepard grinned, trying his best to dodge the issue.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"John— you aren't eating enough, and it's starting to show," Anderson explained.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I know— I just ain't got much of an appetite. I'll try to do better," Shepard said as he took another bite of his oatmeal.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Son, you can't force an appetite. You either have one— or you don't. If it doesn't get any better in a week or so— well, you're going to the doctor," Anderson informed his blue-eyed son.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Daddy, I'm fine," Shepard pleaded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Nope, not up for negotiation," Anderson warned his son.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Okay, Daddy," Shepard nodded as he forced down the rest of his oatmeal.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Are you ready to get going," Anderson asked with a smile, happy his son had finished his meal.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah," Shepard replied as he handed the car keys to his father, "You can drive."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That's odd— you love to drive," Anderson said, brow cocked in confusion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"The oatmeal made me sleepy," Shepard lied— when in reality, Shepard was nauseous.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Okay, Son," Anderson shrugged as he got into the driver's side.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It only took about ten minutes for them to reach their destination, and only another hour or so for Shepard's suit to be refitted—</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We were very lucky that it was such a simple fix. The suit will be ready by tomorrow evening," the tailor assured them as they made their way out of the building.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, that was easier than I thought," Shepard admitted as he held the door open for his father.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It really was. I'm glad," Anderson grinned as he noticed Kaidan leaning against his car, obviously awaiting his blue-eyed friend. "Look who's here."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kaidan," Shepard smiled, causing Anderson to smile as well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Go on," Anderson said with a nod. "I'll tell your mother you'll be home late. Have fun."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thanks, Daddy," Shepard grinned as he made his way over to his whisky-eyed lover, "Hey, babe."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey. Ready to go?" Kaidan asked with a grin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yep. I wanna show you something," Shepard said with a wink.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Okay— I'm game. Do you wanna drive?" Kaidan offered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Nah. You drive. I'll tell you where to go," Shepard insisted as he got into the passenger's seat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I can't wait," Kaidan grinned as he got into the driver's seat.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>
  <span>"Do you know where Wreck Beach is?" Shepard asked curiously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I've heard of it, but I've never been there. It doesn't have the best reputation for being family-friendly," Kaidan admitted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, duh. It's a gay cruising spot, but it's also beautiful there," Shepard explained with a smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I take it you've been there," Kaidan said with a sour tone that made Shepard feel like he was being judged.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah. I have, and I've met some very cool people there. So, try not to judge so goddamn much, eh," Shepard said, quietly, as he stared out the window.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Is that what you wanted to show me— Wreck Beach?" Kaidan asked, his brow furrowed in frustration.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Forget it. You can pick where we go," Shepard mumbled as he closed his eyes and leaned his head towards the car window.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"John— if that’s where you want to go— we'll go. It's not a problem," Kaidan insisted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You obviously don't wanna go, so just drop it, okay. I'll do whatever you want," Shepard shrugged as he kept his eyes closed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why do you always do that?" Kaidan asked, shaking his head in disappointment at his blue-eyed lover.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why do I do what?" Shepard mumbled, his voice tired and low.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're the strongest person I've ever met, but you always give in. You never demand anything. You just go with whatever I want. It doesn't make sense— not for someone as stubborn as you," Kaidan tried to explain, but knew he was failing miserably.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Would you rather I argued all goddamn day? You obviously already made up your mind the second I mentioned the goddamn beach, so why the fuck should I waste my goddamn breath?" Shepard replied, eyes still closed as he spoke.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I </span>
  <b>never</b>
  <span> said no. I never did. I just told you what I heard about it, and </span>
  <b>you</b>
  <span> changed your mind. You were the one that decided not to go," Kaidan argued.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Because </span>
  <b>you </b>
  <span>obviously didn't want to go. You can't help but think it's a sleazy place, and I don't wanna fucking see that goddamn look again. So— can we please just fucking drop it already," Shepard said as he continued to keep his eyes closed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Wait— what look?" Kaidan asked in confusion as he pulled the car over. "Shepard, look at me."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Can we just go, please?" Shepard mumbled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No— John, look at me," Kaidan demanded as he forced Shepard to look at him. "What look?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It wasn't just the look— it was the motherfucking tone, too," Shepard insisted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Explain," Kaidan demanded— still confused by Shepard's words.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I take it you've been there before," Shepard repeated, trying his best to mimic Kaidan's tone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaidan's eyes grew wide in realization. "I didn't really sound like that, did I?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, you did," Shepard honestly replied, "Then you looked at me with that sour look— like I was a goddamn whore. I don't need to feel like that again. I've had enough of it in my life, and I don't need no more of it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"John, baby, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it. I swear to you— it wasn't intentional, and I could never think of you as anything other than beautiful. I think you're an incredible man, so— please, show me what you wanted me to see. I'm begging you, eh," Kaidan pleaded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You really wanna see it?" Shepard asked nervously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I do— just tell me where to go," Kaidan insisted as he started the car before continuing on—</span>
</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Fifteen minutes later—</b>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, we're here," Kaidan announced nervously. "What did you want to show me?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Relax, K— I won't let nobody hurt you," Shepard assured his lover as he took him by the hand— leading him towards the beach.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Are they naked?" Kaidan asked, feeling uneasy and awkward.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yep. I think so," Shepard chuckled, "Don't worry, babe, we ain't going over there."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Good," Kaidan said as he squeezed his lover's hand in relief.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We're going over there," Shepard said, pointing towards the wooded area.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Where? All I see are bushes," Kaidan said in confusion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard couldn't help but laugh. "Well, yeah— that's the beauty of it. Come on— I'll show you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"O—okay," Kaidan agreed as he allowed himself to be led by the blue-eyed beauty.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Now, we might have to walk past some guys— and they'll probably be having sex— or some form of it anyway. Don't say anything. If anyone speaks, I'll take care of it. I wouldn't put you through this, but this is the only path I know of."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I trust you— just please get us there as quickly as possible," Kaidan pleaded as Shepard gripped his hand tighter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It only took a couple of minutes for Shepard to lead his lover to the trail, but for Kaidan, it had seemed like an eternity—</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, babe, the worst is over," Shepard promised as they continued to walk the trail.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I can't believe how many people were copulating," Kaidan said with a nervous laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Copulating— really, K," Shepard snickered, "Why can't you say fucking like a normal person."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We don't say that word in public where I'm from," Kaidan admitted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kaidan, I'm not the public— you can say fuck, babe," Shepard assured his lover with an amused grin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"How much farther?" Kaidan asked as he began to grow restless.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Just a little further," Shepard assured the restless young man.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Wait— I can hear water," Kaidan replied in surprise.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yep. Sorry in advance about your shoes. There're some mud-flats around here, and it's a bit of a marsh, but bear with me, okay," Shepard explained as he continued to lead Kaidan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shit," Kaidan called out in annoyance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You okay, babe," Shepard asked, pausing to check on his love.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"My foot is stuck in the mud. I can feel it in my shoe," Kaidan whined as Shepard broke out laughing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Aw, my poor baby," Shepard teased as he grabbed Kaidan's other hand. "I'll get you out."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"For the record— I don't mind the dirt and mud. I just hate that I ruined my shoes. I'm clearly not dressed for this," Kaidan explained as Shepard pulled him free from the mud.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"K, you need to relax. Do something on a whim, you know, just because you fucking want to. Live a little, baby," Shepard insisted with his trademark crooked smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Baby, you have me doing things I'd </span>
  <b>never </b>
  <span>do," Kaidan admitted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Does that bother you?" Shepard asked— nervously— as they continued on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No. I like it. I know I shouldn't, but I do," Kaidan admitted as he stared lovingly at the blue-eyed blonde.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm glad," Shepard smiled as he led Kaidan to a wooded clearing with a beautiful waterfall. "Well, we're here."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's beautiful," Kaidan said in awe as he took in the sights.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yep. It's calming, ain't it," Shepard said quietly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It is," Kaidan admitted as Shepard led him to a large rock.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I usually sit here," Shepard explained as he climbed atop the rock before helping Kaidan do the same.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I can see why you like this place," Kaidan said with a grin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I wanted to show you. I dunno why— I just felt like you needed to see it— at least once," Shepard explained truthfully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Did you ever bring Aaron here?" Kaidan asked quietly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No. Our place was the beach— Kitsilano Beach mostly," Shepard admitted, "I was gonna, eventually, show him this place, but— I ran outta time."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaidan grasped Shepard's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I know it must be hard. Nobody wants to hear about their lover's ex, especially when they're—" Shepard couldn't bring himself to say the word. "I ain't comparing you. I wouldn't do that. But I won't lie to you— I miss him every goddamn day. And I always will," Shepard admitted as he kissed the silver ring on the middle finger of his left hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I know. I hate seeing you in pain, and sometimes I hate myself for thinking how lucky I am to have you in my life— especially when I consider the reason. I liked Aaron. I never wanted him to die," Kaidan admitted, his voice cracking with emotion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I know. I really don't wanna go to that fucking wedding," Shepard admitted as he wiped a stray tear from his eye.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why not? Aren't you happy for your parents?" Kaidan asked in confusion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Of course, I am," Shepard nodded. "But— well, I just found out a few months ago that Aaron was gonna propose to me. He wanted me to marry him. His— uh— his dad talked him into waiting."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaidan's whisky-coloured eyes grew wide in shock. "Oh, God, Shepard— I'm so sorry. That couldn't have been easy to hear. I'm sure his father didn't mean to hurt you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He didn't. Andrew regretted it. He said he wished he could have seen it— our wedding, I mean. I would never blame Andrew. I know how much he loves Aaron, and I know he loves me too. I'm just afraid this goddamn wedding's gonna tear my fucking heart out. It's so fucking stupid! He's been gone for a year now. Ryan and me— we went to his grave. I ended up staying there most of the night— just sitting next to his grave, wondering why the hell he had to die. Why couldn't I stop it? I should have stopped it," Shepard cried as Kaidan just held him tight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You couldn't have stopped it. It just wasn't meant for you to stop it. I know you know that. Aaron told you that, remember, baby," Kaidan reminded his beloved as he, too, shed tears of sadness. "You know Aaron wouldn't lie to you. And I thank him every day for protecting you, so— you don't ever have to stop loving him— because I love him too."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thank you. I know some people think I should just let him go— forget him. But I can't, and I won't. Hell, I don't ever want to. He's such a big part of my heart— and I know nobody could ever take his place—" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard's words were painful for Kaidan to hear. The young whisky-eyed man was certain that Shepard was on the verge of ending their newly found relationship, and it scared the hell out of him. Not knowing what else to do, Kaidan just held the young blonde tighter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"But, since I lost him, I've felt so goddamn empty. Then I think of you, and I can breathe again. Whenever I see you, I can actually feel it in my heart— like a jolt. And I know I'm fucked up to the point that there might not be much of me left to give, but if you want it— you can have it. And that's okay, isn't it— if I let you take what's left," Shepard asked, his entire body shaking in fear of what Kaidan might think of him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'll take anything you wanna give me, and I'll treasure it forever," Kaidan assured his love as he kissed the young man's cheek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"My heart— it's yours," Shepard whispered as he leaned his head against Kaidan's chest and listened to the steady rhythm he found there— listening until he finally calmed— the tears no longer falling as he lifted his head to kiss the older man slowly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I adore you, baby," Kaidan whispered as he kissed Shepard's neck — gently sucking the soft flesh he found there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As time passed, the two lovers became bolder, and before long, Shepard found himself straddling Kaidan's lap as the whisky-eyed brunette stroked them both to completion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard held Kaidan as tight as he could as his body jerked in ecstasy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaidan rocked back-and-forth with Shepard in his arms until they finally came down from their high.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard smiled, lovingly, as he stared deep into Kaidan's whisky-coloured eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>'Aaron, baby, please forgive me, but I love this man— so goddamn much it hurts,' Shepard admitted to himself as he pressed his forehead to Kaidan's.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>'Aaron understands. It's what he wanted, after all,' </span>
  </em>
  <span>the voice reminded Shepard in a peaceful tone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>No words were spoken as Kaidan kissed him slowly, savouring the sweet taste that was uniquely Shepard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm glad we came here," Shepard whispered as the two lovers finally separated.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Me too," Kaidan agreed as he kissed Shepard's hand. "I'm sticky."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard broke out laughing. "Yeah— we're a mess, alright. I guess taking off our shirts was a good call, eh," Shepard grinned as he jumped down from the rock before offering his hand to Kaidan. "We can rinse off over there," Shepard explained as he nodded towards the waterfall.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sounds good," Kaidan nodded as he followed Shepard to the water's edge.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaidan watched as Shepard quickly rinsed himself, noticing the chill on his lover's skin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Is it cold?" Kaidan asked curiously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's fucking freezing," Shepard admitted with that crooked grin that Kaidan adored.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Great. I hope we don't get pneumonia," Kaidan said with a grin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"K, will you be my date— for the wedding, I mean," Shepard asked anxiously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Uh, I'd love to be your date," Kaidan replied with a surprised grin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Can I ask you one more favour?" Shepard asked, a hint of nervousness in his voice that Kaidan didn't like.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What is it?" Kaidan asked, the concern evident on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It ain't nothin' bad, so relax, eh," Shepard scolded before continuing, "I kinda need you to take me to see my doctor. I gotta get my depot-shot, and he's gonna give me something for my anxiety— you know— so I don't get manic."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sure," Kaidan agreed, happy to help his lover, "When do you need me to take you?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Now— if that's okay? I'm already about five minutes late for my appointment, but Doctor Smith won't mind if I'm late."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You seem pretty confident he won't mind," Kaidan replied skeptically.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah. He's a friend," Shepard said with a shrug. "Well, we should get going."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sure," Kaidan nodded as he let Shepard lead him back down the trail.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>About halfway down the trail, a stranger blocked their path—</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, well, well, what have we here?" The stranger— a large man with a beard and menacing dark coloured eyes— called out, causing Kaidan to grasp Shepard's hand just a bit tighter. "Is that— no, it can't be? Is that little Johnny— all grown up?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard tensed at the man's words. "You got me confused with somebody else," Shepard lied as he tried his best to go around the man.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't think so," the dark-eyed man insisted, "I'd know those blue eyes anywhere, and that mouth— ooh, boy— there's no way I'd forget that mouth. Not many boys have lips like yours," the disgusting man touched Shepard's lips gently, rubbing the blue-eyed teen's bottom lip slowly before Shepard swatted the man's hand away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I ain't Johnny— now get the fuck outta my way," Shepard warned, his heart racing as he was on the verge of panicking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Aw— don't you wanna play nice with your Uncle Bill," the man grinned, causing Shepard's eyes to go wide in understanding.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Please— let me go," Shepard demanded, his anxiety beginning to show. "I swear, I ain't who you think I am. We just wanna leave."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'll tell you what— why don't you and me head behind those bushes, and you can give old Uncle Bill a taste of that sweet mouth. I'll bet you could take it all now," The man suggested as he reached out to touch a strand of Shepard's dark-blonde hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Keep your goddamn hands to yourself," Shepard warned as he knocked the man's hand away before pushing past him, dragging Kaidan along roughly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard practically ran the rest of the way down the trail, all while keeping Kaidan close. Once they made it to the car, Shepard immediately asked Kaidan if he was alright—</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm fine, baby. What about you?" Kaidan asked, noticing just how badly his blue-eyed love was shaking. "Are you okay?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No—" Shepard admitted as he slid down the side of the car— letting his ass hit the dirt— as he struggled to catch his breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Baby, calm down," Kaidan pleaded as he rushed to his lover's side— kneeling down, so he was on Shepard's level.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I—I can't. He'll— hurt me— again," Shepard tried to explain, but his lack of breath was preventing him from speaking. "Dizzy—"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shepard, baby— I need you to take a deep breath. Here, I'll do it with you. Ready? Breathe in— and out— just like that. Let's do it again, eh," Kaidan instructed as he tried his best to calm his frantic lover.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a few minutes of breathing exercises, Shepard finally calmed enough for Kaidan to speak with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Are you okay, baby? Do you need anything— some water, maybe?" Kaidan offered as he stroked Shepard's long dark-blonde hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm okay. I don't need anything. W—will you take me to my appointment, please," Shepard asked nervously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sure," Kaidan helped his lover get into the car before getting into the driver's seat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As soon as Shepard was buckled in and ready to go, Kaidan wasted no time heading for the clinic.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Are you feeling better, baby," Kaidan asked anxiously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah. I'm sorry about that. That ain't never happened before," Shepard admitted as he fidgeted nervously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Did you know him? I mean— you said that he was going to hurt you again— did he hurt you before?" Kaidan asked, unsure whether or not he actually wanted to hear the answer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It don't matter," Shepard whispered as he stared out the car window.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"John, if he hurt you, I'd like to know," Kaidan said, finally deciding that he didn't want his lover to suffer alone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He hurt me— once. It was a long time ago. I don't even know how he recognized me— I was so young then," Shepard explained, his voice distant and detached. "It hurt so fucking bad— I thought they were gonna kill me, but they didn't."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What do you mean 'they'? Who's they?" Kaidan asked, growing increasingly worried for his lover.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"On my eleventh birthday, I was so happy— I got to see Aaron again after years of being separated. I thought nothing could ruin that day— I was so wrong— so goddamn wrong," Shepard explained, his voice steady and even.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What happened, John?" Kaidan asked, already knowing the answer, but dreading it anyway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That night, Robert— my foster dad— he raped me. It hurt so fucking bad. I thought I was gonna be torn apart. I was so goddamn ashamed, so goddamn afraid, that I didn't tell nobody— not even Aaron. And after that night, Robert— he trained me, trained my body— and once he was satisfied with my performance— he sold me. He made me a whore— for nearly ten months, I was used, over-and-over again. Then, one day, I got into a fight at school. They suspended me for three days. He made sure to use that time well— to use me well. He had so many men use me in such a short time— I was tired and sore, so I insulted him— told him he had a tiny dick," a strange smile appeared on Shepard's face, one that Kaidan didn't know what to make of. "He was so fucking pissed. He beat the hell outta me— before dragging me into his bedroom. He raped me then called a friend. I tried to get away, but he threw me into a mirror— that's where I got my scar," Shepard explained as he touched the scar in remembrance. "Somehow, in the chaos, I cracked my skull against a table. When I came to, Robert threw me on the bed. That's when I first saw him— Robert's friend, Bill— a big motherfucker with a massive fucking cock. I was only eleven, and it's still the biggest I've ever seen. I was terrified. I told him that there was just no goddamn way I could take that kinda abuse— But I did. I endured it for twenty-five goddamn minutes— twenty-five minutes of torture. I got scars where the fucker bit me. You gotta look close to see 'em. They're on my thighs, and near my— well, you know. Anyway, once he was done, I thought it was over, but Robert burst into the room— yelling, talking about how filthy I was, and how much he knew I liked it. He used me again before leaving to sleep in </span>
  <b>my </b>
  <span>goddamn bed. I staggered to the bedroom where he was sleeping, and I got one of my hockey sticks— and I beat the living hell outta him. I just kept hitting him— right in the motherfucking dick— over-and-over— until a lady cop stopped me. When the adrenaline finally started to wear off, I had a seizure— the first of my life. It turns out— he fucked up the left side of my head when he threw me against that goddamn table. But— I strayed off-topic, didn't I? Anyway— yeah— I know Bill. He's a mean son-of-a-bitch."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>By the time Shepard's story was finished, Kaidan was a mess— crying silently with tears streaming down his face. Kaidan didn't know what to say. What could he say? The one he loved had been tortured, and nothing he could say would ever be enough to make that pain go away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Do you still want me, Kaidan? There's bound to be more out there— more men that'll recognize me. I'll understand if you don't wanna see me no more," Shepard said with a sad smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaidan pulled into the parking lot of the clinic— parking the car before pulling Shepard into a tight hug—</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Nothing's changed, baby. I'm so sorry that happened to you," Kaidan cried.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Don't cry, K. It ain't your fault. It was a long time ago. I'm okay now. Really, I am," Shepard admitted truthfully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You are the strongest person I've ever met, and if you're ever uncomfortable with anything I do— please, baby— tell me," Kaidan said— wanting his lover to feel safe and happy at all times.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Don't worry, baby. I love being with you. I love sex— I do. If I ever freeze up, or anything like that— and I ain't gonna lie, it's happened to me before— just be patient with me. Talk to me— remind me of where I am and who I'm with, and I promise you, I'll be fine," Shepard explained as he kissed Kaidan gently. "I guess I better go in now. Do you wanna come with me?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah," Kaidan whispered as he dried his eyes. "Let's go, baby."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard just smiled as he took Kaidan's hand—</span>
</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hello, Shepard. This must be— Kaidan," Michael grinned as he shook the young man's hand. "It's nice to finally meet you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thanks," Kaidan said with a nod as he took his seat next to Shepard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So, how are you feeling today?" Michael asked as he prepared Shepard for his shot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm okay. I ran into a guy that abused me when I was a kid. That sucked. I kinda had a panic attack," Shepard admitted truthfully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I hate that you had to deal with that," Michael said as he finished giving Shepard his shot. "Are you feeling anxious?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I am. Can you give me something for it?" Shepard asked as he bounced his knee nervously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I can. I'll be at the wedding, so if you start feeling uneasy, just let me know. We'll take care of it discreetly. Okay," Michael insisted as he disposed of the used needle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thanks," Shepard said gratefully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael left the room to retrieve the antianxiety medication— leaving Kaidan and Shepard alone in the room—</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Doctor Smith is a nice guy, huh," Kaidan said with a smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He is," Shepard agreed as he continued to bounce his knee. "Does it freak you out— being in a mental health clinic?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No, not at all. In fact, I'm learning a lot," Kaidan assured his lover.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm back," Michael announced as he prepared Shepard for another shot— this time in the other arm. "You're going to have to stay here for a few hours. I'm pretty sure this is going to knock you on your ass."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Really? Fuck my life— Kaidan, you don't have to stay if you don't want to," Shepard said as he rolled up his sleeve for the doctor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'll stay. I don't mind," Kaidan insisted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm going to prescribe for you a few pills— just enough to do until after the wedding. You have your sleep meds, but don't take them while you're taking the antianxiety meds— not unless you absolutely cannot sleep. Even then— call me first, eh," Michael insisted as he injected the medication into Shepard's arm. "Let me know when you start feeling drowsy."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I will," Shepard assured the doctor as he continued to fidget.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The three sat and talked for about fifteen minutes when Shepard announced that he was, indeed, getting sleepy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michael and Kaidan slowly led Shepard to one of the rooms with a bed and quickly made the blue-eyed blonde comfortable.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'll be back to check on him in an hour or so. Once the drowsiness wears off, you can take him home," Michael explained.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Doctor Smith, I know I shouldn't ask— and I'm not even sure you can answer, but— does this happen often?" Kaidan asked curiously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"This— no. Shepard's emergencies are usually much more severe. You see, this— this is nothing. I wish all his episodes were this simple. He's a good man, Kaidan. He just has a few bad days here and there," Michael smiled as he left Kaidan alone to watch over Shepard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"A few bad days, huh," Kaidan whispered as he continued to watch over his lover.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Two hours later—</b>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, are you feeling any better?" Michael asked as he checked Shepard's vitals.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah. I am actually. I'm still a little sleepy, though," Shepard admitted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That's normal. You'll probably sleep like a baby tonight," Michael grinned as he handed Shepard a prescription. "Get those filled and start taking them tomorrow— along with your other meds. I'll see you in two weeks. The receptionist will give you the time. I'll see you at the wedding."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thanks, Michael," Shepard smiled as he waved goodbye to his doctor. "K, can you add my appointment to the calendar on my phone? I forget so easily that I always mess it up."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sure," Kaidan said as he waited for the receptionist's instructions. Once he had added the date successfully, he handed Shepard the phone. "Are you ready to head home?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah. I'm pretty fucking tired," Shepard admitted as he gave Kaidan a quick peck on the lips before buckling his seat belt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah. You look pretty tired," Kaidan admitted as he stroked Shepard's dark-blonde hair. "Are you hungry?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No. I'm too tired to eat," Shepard mumbled as he closed his eyes in exhaustion. "I'm gonna try to stay awake, babe— forgive me if I drift off, eh."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's okay, honey. You can sleep on the way home if you want," Kaidan assured his love as he kissed Shepard's forehead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I like it when you call me honey. It's different. Baby's good too, though," Shepard smiled as he slowly closed his hazy blue eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Rest now, honey," Kaidan whispered as he made his way to Shepard's house.</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next Chapter:  Anderson and Kahlee's wedding finally takes place—</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. The Best Man</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Anderson and Kahlee finally get married—</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>***WARNING***<br/>HOMOPHOBIA</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kaidan pulled into Shepard's driveway at around eight that evening—</p><p>"John, baby, we're here," Kaidan said as he shook the young man gently.</p><p>Shepard never stirred— he just mumbled incoherently as his head swayed back-and-forth.</p><p>"That medicine really did a number on you, eh," Kaidan whispered as he gently stroked Shepard's dark-blonde hair.</p><p>Not knowing what else to do, Kaidan decided to call on Shepard's father for help—</p><p>
  <b>KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK—</b>
</p><p>A few seconds later, an older lady answered the door, causing Kaidan to tense slightly.</p><p>"Can I help you, darlin'?" The lady drawled, her Southern accent thick.</p><p>"Yes, Ma'am," Kaidan nodded towards the lady. "May I speak to Mr. Anderson, please?"</p><p>"Well, aren't you a proper one," Kathleen teased as she called out for David, "David, there's a young man here to see you."</p><p>Anderson quickly made his way to the door— his mind automatically going into worry mode thinking of his son.</p><p>"Kaidan? Is everything alright?" Anderson asked, his brow furrowed in confusion.</p><p>"Everything's fine. May we speak— privately?" Kaidan requested in an insistent tone.</p><p>"Of course," Anderson nodded as he let Kathleen know that everything was fine before following Kaidan to his car—</p><p>The second Anderson saw Shepard— seemingly unconscious— in the passenger's seat, he immediately ran towards his son.</p><p>"Is he okay?" Anderson asked as he opened the car door to examine his son.</p><p>"He's fine. I took him to his appointment today. He was feeling anxious— so Doctor Smith gave him something for it. We stayed at the clinic for a few hours to make sure everything was fine. When Shepard woke, he checked his vitals and said he was good to go. He also said it would be normal for Shepard to be drowsy— So— I don't think it's anything serious. He's just tired, and I don't think I can get him out of the car without help," Kaidan explained nervously.</p><p>"Goddammit," Anderson said, disappointed in himself. "I totally forgot about his appointment. That's never happened before. He relies on me to take him. I should have been there today."</p><p>"Sir, with all due respect, you have a wedding to plan. It's only natural for you to forget some things. I added the information for the next appointment to Shepard's phone. I'll text you the date and time," Kaidan insisted as he leaned in to unbuckle Shepard's seat belt.</p><p>"Thanks, son. I appreciate it," Anderson smiled as he gently manoeuvred his son so he could lift him safely into his arms. "Do you know what caused the anxiety?"</p><p>Kaidan's brow furrowed— unsure of whether or not he should answer— in the end, Kaidan decided not to betray his lover's trust. "I'm not sure. You'll have to ask him, Sir."</p><p>"Okay. Can you get the door for me?" Anderson asked as he lifted the young man into his arms. "Son, you're losing way too much weight," Anderson complained— noticing just how much lighter his son had become.</p><p>Kaidan watched, patiently, as Anderson carried the sleeping blonde into the house— </p><p>Anderson gently placed his son on the couch before turning his attention towards Kaidan.</p><p>"Thank you for bringing him home," Anderson said as he shook the young man's hand.</p><p>"Anytime," Kaidan said with a nod as he glanced at his lover for a few more seconds before announcing his departure. "Well, I'll be on my way. Call me if you need me."</p><p>"We will. Drive safe, son," Anderson smiled knowingly.</p><p>"I'll walk the boy out," Jon insisted as he followed the young man to his car—</p><p>"What the hell did you do to my grandson?" Jon asked in irritation.</p><p>"Excuse me," Kaidan replied in confusion. "I don't know what you mean."</p><p>"Don't pull that crap with me! He's obviously sick, so tell me the goddamn truth," Jon demanded.</p><p>"He's not sick. I took him to his appointment, and the doctor gave him a shot that makes him sleepy— that's all. I swear it. I would never hurt John, I lo—" Kaidan stopped mid-word, causing Jon to grin.</p><p>"You love my grandson," Jon said with a satisfied look. "You must be Kaidan. He talks about you quite a bit, you know. And, just so you know, if you hurt him— I'll hurt you."</p><p>"Understood," Kaidan replied seriously.</p><p>"Well, I guess I better let you head home. I wouldn't want your parents to worry about you. One last question before you go— why didn't you kiss him goodnight?"</p><p>Kaidan's face turned an impressive shade of red as he struggled to find his words—</p><p>"Well— uh— you see— he was asleep, and I didn't want to wake him," Kaidan replied sheepishly.</p><p>"Uh-huh," Jon said with doubt in his voice. "You aren't ashamed of my grandson, are you?"</p><p>"No, Sir," Kaidan replied nervously, "It's complicated, Sir."</p><p>"Complicated, huh? I guess I can accept that. Drive safely, son," Jon waved as he turned towards the house.</p><p>"Sir," Kaidan called out, causing Jon to look his way. "Are you sure you're not a blood relative of John?"</p><p>"No, we aren't blood, but I love him just the same," Jon replied truthfully.</p><p>"You're very similar," Kaidan mused as he opened his car door. </p><p>"I know," Jon grinned. "Have a good night, kid."</p><p>"You too," Kaidan replied as he made his way home.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>The second Jon entered the house— he could hear arguing. As he got closer, he finally figured out the source— Kathleen and Kahlee.</p><p>"My son isn't a drug addict, and I don't appreciate the accusation," Kahlee yelled, growing increasingly more frustrated with her mother.</p><p>"Then what the hell's wrong with him? Can you answer that?" Kathleen asked— certain in her belief.</p><p>"He had a doctor's appointment today. This is just a side-effect of his medication— that's it," Kahlee explained.</p><p>"Fine! But you never answered me, Kahlee— what the hell is wrong with him?" Kathleen demanded.</p><p>"It's nothing serious, Mama," Kahlee insisted.</p><p>"Kahlee, I demand to know," Kathleen said as she slammed her fist down on the counter.</p><p>"Kathleen, it's none of your goddamn business. Now shut the hell up before you end up waking the boy," Jon insisted as Anderson made his way into the room— with Hailey trailing close behind.</p><p>"What's with all the noise? Shepard's trying to rest," Anderson scolded as his daughter made her way past him.</p><p>Hailey was silent as she touched her brother's face gently before kissing his forehead. "Loco needs a blanket," Hailey announced as she disappeared into his bedroom before returning with a blanket. "Daddy, can you help me?"</p><p>Anderson smiled at his daughter as he helped her cover the sleeping blonde with the warm blanket.</p><p>"If you're gonna argue— go upstairs and do it," Hailey demanded as she pointed towards the stairs.</p><p>Kahlee and Anderson couldn't help but smile at their little girl. </p><p>"The baby's right. Let's stop arguing and let the boy rest," Jon suggested as he picked up the little angel. "Well, baby girl, what do you say we go get us a cup of hot chocolate?"</p><p>"Okay, Grandpa," Hailey nodded as she blew her sleeping brother a kiss. "Sweet dreams, Loco."</p><p>"Kahlee, we'll talk about this later," Kathleen insisted as she headed towards the kitchen. "Hold on, Jon— I'll make the cocoa. You'll just end up burning the house down."</p><p>Kahlee sighed as she watched her mother leave for the kitchen.</p><p>"He's going to be fine, honey," Anderson assured his fiancée. </p><p>"I know. I just hope he feels better before the wedding," Kahlee said as she stroked her son's long dark-blonde hair as he slept. "I wonder if he'll cut it for the wedding. "</p><p>"Who knows," Anderson grinned as he placed his hand upon Shepard's forehead. "Let's go see what the rest of the family's up to."</p><p>"Yeah—"</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Later that night—</b>
</p><p>Anderson and Kahlee were awakened suddenly by a blood-curdling scream—</p><p>"What the hell was that?" Kahlee asked in fear.</p><p>"PLEASE, STOP! NO MORE—"</p><p>"John," Anderson exclaimed as he rushed down the stairs to his son.</p><p>Shepard was writhing as if fighting off an unseen enemy— his screams so loud that they were nearly deafening.</p><p>"Shepard, Son, it's me," Anderson pleaded as he tried his best to hold onto his son.</p><p>"What the hell is going on?" Kathleen complained, eyes going wide when she saw the young blonde struggling.</p><p>"Is the boy alright," Jon asked in concern.</p><p>"I don't know," Anderson admitted truthfully.</p><p>Kahlee was standing with a look of complete fear on her face. "David, do I need to call 911?"</p><p>"Not yet," Anderson said as he continued to struggle with the boy.</p><p>"Mommy, what's wrong with Loco?" Hailey asked, rubbing the sleep from her beautiful grey eyes.</p><p>Kahlee motioned for Hailey to come to her. "It's okay, baby. John's going to be just fine."</p><p>Suddenly, Shepard made a strange sound before his body went taut.</p><p>"He looks possessed," Kathleen whispered, as she kissed the cross she wore on her neck.</p><p>"David, is he having a seizure?" Kahlee asked anxiously.</p><p>"I think so, but I'm not sure," Anderson admitted.</p><p>Shepard's body jerked violently for just a few moments before it stilled—</p><p>"It looked a bit like a seizure, but something was off about it," Jon said as he continued to study the boy.</p><p>Shepard started screaming once again as Anderson tried desperately to keep him from hurting himself.</p><p>"I need to wake him," Anderson said as he tried his best to rouse his son.</p><p>"David, you aren't supposed to wake someone from a night terror," Kahlee reminded her soon-to-be husband.</p><p>"Kahlee, if I don't, he's going to have a goddamn heart attack," Anderson insisted as he slapped his son roughly— eventually waking the frightened blonde.</p><p>"W—where am I?" Shepard mumbled as his blue eyes darted around the room in a panic.</p><p>"It's okay, Son. You're home," Anderson explained as he rubbed his son's back gently.</p><p>Shepard started to weep, uncontrollably, as he buried his head into his father's chest.</p><p>"It's okay, Son. You're safe. Daddy's got you," Anderson promised as he held his son tight.</p><p>It took several minutes for the blue-eyed teen to calm down.</p><p>"I'm sorry, Daddy. I didn't mean to cause no trouble," Shepard cried as he struggled to keep his eyes open. "Don't leave me. He's gonna hurt me again," Shepard mumbled.</p><p>"Who's going to hurt you? Tell Daddy who it is?" Anderson pleaded.</p><p>"I'm tired, Daddy. Please don't leave," Shepard cried.</p><p>"It's okay. I'm not going anywhere. Daddy's here," Anderson promised as he turned his attention to Kahlee, "Honey, I'm going to stay here with him. You can go on back to bed."</p><p>"Are you sure, love?" Kahlee asked, anxiously, as she continued to comfort her daughter.</p><p>"I'm sure. He's gonna be fine," Anderson insisted.</p><p>"Okay— Hailey, let's go back to bed, eh. Your brother is going to be just fine," Kahlee insisted as she led her daughter up the stairs and back to bed.</p><p>"I can stay with you if you'd like," Jon offered, "I can help you with him if he has another terror."</p><p>"Thanks, Jon, but I think he'll be okay," Anderson said with a grateful smile.</p><p>"Well, call me if you need me," Jon yawned as he made his way back to the bedroom.</p><p>"I still think he's possessed," Kathleen grumbled as she turned to head back to her room.</p><p>"Shut up, you old bat," Jon scolded as he shut the door behind him.</p><p>Anderson just sighed as he continued to soothe his tired and confused son.</p><p>"You're okay. I won't let anyone hurt you," Anderson whispered as he kissed the top of his son's head.</p><p>Anderson made himself as comfortable as possible before letting himself, slowly, drift off to sleep.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The next morning—</b>
</p><p>Anderson woke early— and after checking on his son— decided he would go ahead and make some coffee. Once the coffee had finished brewing, Anderson took a seat at the counter, pleasantly surprised when his son wandered into the kitchen.</p><p>"Hey— how are you feeling, Son?" Anderson asked as he took a drink of his coffee.</p><p>"I'm alright. Did you sleep down here?" Shepard asked in confusion— his memory of the previous night nonexistent.</p><p>"You don't remember?" Anderson asked in surprise.</p><p>"Remember what," Shepard asked as he rolled his shoulders.</p><p>"You had a nightmare— well, a night terror is a more accurate description," Anderson replied as he watched his son pour himself a cup of coffee.</p><p>"I don't remember having a nightmare. I'm sorry if I kept you up," Shepard apologized.</p><p>"Don't worry about it, Son," Anderson said, hoping his son wouldn't dwell on it.</p><p>"What was the dream about? Did I say anything?" Shepard asked curiously.</p><p>"I don't know what it was about, but it was a bad one. You kept saying he was going to hurt you again. You weren't very lucid," Anderson explained honestly.</p><p>"Hn."</p><p>"Well, do you feel up to attending the rehearsal," Anderson asked as he finished off his coffee.</p><p>"What the hell are you talking about? What rehearsal?" Shepard asked in confusion.</p><p>Anderson couldn't help but laugh at his clueless son. "The wedding rehearsal. It's to make sure everyone knows where to go and what to do come Saturday."</p><p>"It can't be that difficult to figure out— can it?" Shepard asked anxiously.</p><p>"You'd be surprised," Anderson laughed. "You can invite Kaidan if you want. There's a dinner afterwards."</p><p>"Sure. I ain't got nothin' better to do," Shepard agreed. "I'm gonna go take a shower."</p><p>"I'll go ahead and start breakfast," Anderson grinned as he made his way to the refrigerator. "How about bacon and eggs— or do you want sausage instead?"</p><p>"Anything's fine— I ain't picky," Shepard assured his father as he headed to the washroom.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Later that day—</b>
</p><p>"I'm sorry I dragged you all the way out here. There's supposed to be a nice dinner afterwards, though," Shepard apologized— just loud enough for Kaidan to hear.</p><p>"I don't mind. I've been to a ton of these," Kaidan admitted.</p><p>"So, I don't wanna look like a total fucking idiot— can you tell me where I'll be standing?" Shepard asked curiously.</p><p>"Well, you're the best man, so you'll be standing beside your dad. You'll enter from the side. You won't have to walk down the aisle," Kaidan explained.</p><p>"Thank fuck," Shepard said with a relieved grin.</p><p>The rehearsal went smoothly, and before they knew it— it was time for the rehearsal dinner—</p><p>"Son, you sit here, to your mom's left. This is where you'll give the toast on Saturday. Do you want to practice by saying something now or—" Anderson was cut off mid-sentence.</p><p>"Hell no," Shepard said quickly.</p><p>The entire room burst out laughing, causing Shepard to blush a little.</p><p>"That's alright, Son. We won't force you into saying anything," Anderson promised as he rubbed his son's back gently.</p><p>"Where will Kaidan be sitting?" Shepard asked, just loud enough for his father to hear.</p><p>"He's your date, so he sits beside you," Anderson explained with a smile.</p><p>"Well, I guess— Grandma's going to find out about me, huh," Shepard said with nervous-laugh.</p><p>"Don't worry about it, Son," Anderson said as he kissed his son's temple.</p><p>"Ryan sits beside Hailey, and Alex sits beside Ryan— right," Shepard asked, trying to get the seating right in his head. </p><p>"That's right. Hailey will be seated to my left, then Ryan, and Alex," Anderson said as he pointed to the seats.</p><p>"Is this where we eat tonight or do we all just eat family-style," Shepard asked in confusion.</p><p>"Tonight it'll be family-style," Anderson assured him. "Come on— we'll go ahead and take our seats."</p><p>"Boy, you can sit next to me," Kathleen called out, motioning for Shepard to sit.</p><p><em> 'Well, fuck! This is gonna suck donkey dick,' </em>the voice complained.</p><p>"You think," Shepard mumbled as he walked towards his grandmother.</p><p>"Kathleen, he doesn't want to sit around a bunch of women— no offense Kahlee, you're an angel— he wants to sit next to his grandpa, and that's where he's going to sit goddammit," Jon insisted as Shepard took his seat beside his grandfather.</p><p>Shepard motioned Kaidan over to sit in the seat next to him.</p><p>"Well, you must have gotten lucky," Jon teased as he motioned to Shepard's neck.</p><p>"What do you mean," Shepard asked, his brow furrowed in confusion.</p><p>"You got a couple of love bites," Jon grinned as he took a sip of his wine. </p><p>"I do— huh. I guess," Shepard chuckled as he looked at the plate he was given. "The pizza looks good."</p><p>"It better be. It's from the best pizza joint in Vancouver," Jon said in an amused tone.</p><p>"It's really good. Here, K— try it," Shepard smiled as he hand-fed his lover.</p><p>"It <b>is</b> really good. I really love their Margherita pizza," Kaidan admitted.</p><p>"That's Mom's favourite! I'll bet they have that. I'll go trade your plate for one with the Margherita pizza," Shepard offered.</p><p>"John, you don't have to do that. This is fine," Kaidan insisted. </p><p>"K— I insist, yeah," Shepard said with a wink, causing his grandmother to stare in disbelief.</p><p>"So— are you and the boy close?" Kathleen asked as she continued to stare at the blue-eyed blonde.</p><p>"Yes, Ma'am— I suppose we are," Kaidan replied nervously.</p><p>"Here you are— one Margherita pizza, just for you," Shepard grinned as he handed Kaidan the plate.</p><p>"Thanks," Kaidan smiled as he started to eat his food.</p><p>Shepard continued to eat until he had an overwhelming feeling of being watched. He quickly glanced up from his food, only to see his grandmother staring at him strangely.</p><p>"Is there something wrong?" Shepard asked nervously.</p><p>"You got something on your neck," Kathleen said, pointing out the locations as she spoke. "That girl you were with must have been quite the little hell-cat."</p><p>"I guess," Shepard shrugged as he started to pick at his food.</p><p>"I'll bet it's that Jack girl. You can do so much better. Those tattoos are so garish," Kathleen said with an air of disapproval.</p><p>"I think Jack's tattoos are beautiful, but I ain't sleeping with her, and we sure as hell ain't dating. She ain't my type," Shepard assured his grandmother.</p><p>"Let me guess— you prefer the blue-eyed, blonde-haired, cheer-leader type," Kathleen grinned, trying her best to get to the truth.</p><p>"Wrong again— not my type," Shepard admitted as he took a drink of his water.</p><p>"Hmm— you like older women. I'll bet she's a lot older than you," Kathleen's smile turned to a smirk when she noticed the tension in Shepard's shoulders. "That's it, isn't it?"</p><p>"Kathleen, leave the boy alone, and eat your damn food," Jon scolded his ex.</p><p>Kathleen just grinned before turning her attention to Kaidan—</p><p>"So, handsome, I see that you're drinking wine. I guess that makes you legal, doesn't it?" Kathleen said with a wink.</p><p>"I'm nineteen, Ma'am," Kaidan replied awkwardly.</p><p><em> 'Is she seriously hitting on Kaidan?' </em>The voice said in amusement.</p><p>"She really is," Shepard mumbled aloud.</p><p>"Did you say something, boy?" Kathleen asked curiously.</p><p>"Nope— not a thing," Shepard said as he took another drink of water.</p><p>"So— what's your type?" Kathleen asked Kaidan with a suggestive grin.</p><p>"Honestly— dark-blonde hair, incredible sapphire-blue eyes, long legs, a nice tone body, and full, pouty lips," Kaidan replied with a wicked grin, causing Shepard to smile in amusement.</p><p>Kathleen couldn't help but notice how the two boys were grinning at each other—</p><p>"I see— How long have you two been friends?" Kathleen asked curiously.</p><p>"About a year," Shepard answered with a shrug.</p><p>"Will you be attending the wedding, Kaidan?" Kathleen asked, feeling more-and-more uneasy as time passed.</p><p>"Yes, Ma'am," Kaidan replied simply.</p><p>"You wanna get some fresh air with me, K?" Shepard asked as he stood up from the table.</p><p>"I'd love too— if you'll excuse us," Kaidan apologized as he followed Shepard outside.</p><p>"Something feels off about those two," Kathleen complained as she continued to eat her meal.</p><p>"Jesus— you can't possibly be that fucking stupid," Jon snapped at his ex-lover. "Kaidan is John's plus-one. Do you understand what that means, or has the hair dye finally rotted what's left of your tiny little brain?"</p><p>"I don't believe you! That boy is way too attractive to be a queer," Kathlee argued.</p><p>"Why can't you just accept the boy for who he is— a kind and thoughtful kid— why pull his sexuality into it? I mean— seriously, what does it matter if he's gay or straight? In the end— John is just John," Jon said in an irritated tone.</p><p>"I'm telling you he is <b>not </b>gay! Kahlee would never allow it," Kathleen insisted.</p><p>"If you believe that— then you don't know our daughter at all," Jon informed his ex. "I'm going to the washroom. Please, try your best not to ruin our daughter's wedding with your hateful bullshit. If you have a problem with John, you wait until <b>after </b> the wedding. Be warned, though— <b>no one </b> will support you on this. We all love that boy for <b>who </b>he is, not who he's attracted to."</p><p>Kathleen watched in shock as Jon exited the room.</p><p>"He's wrong. There's just no way that boy could be gay. I'll prove it to him," Kathleen got up from the table and marched outside with purpose—</p><p>"Where did you go?" Kathleen asked as she searched the grounds for her grandson.</p><p>When she finally caught sight of him, she nearly passed out in shock—</p><p> Kaidan was leaning against a wall with Shepard standing between his legs. The older boy had Shepard pressed close to his body— his hands firmly on Shepard's ass as they kissed each other passionately.</p><p>"Oh, my Lord," Kathleen whispered, covering her mouth in shock. "I need to talk to Kahlee. He can't be around Hailey acting like that."</p><p>Kathleen never said another word until she made her way back to Kahlee—</p><p>"Kahlee, we need to talk. It's an emergency," Kathleen insisted as she practically dragged her daughter outside—</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"Kahlee, I have to tell you something— and I don't want you to panic. And just know— he can be fixed, so just keep that in mind," Kathleen said, causing Kahlee to cock her head to the side in confusion.</p><p>"Mama, what on Earth are you talking about?" Kahlee asked anxiously.</p><p>"The boy is queer. I saw him kissing that Kaidan boy," Kathleen explained. "But we can fix it before he corrupts Hailey, and if we can't— well, he's just a foster kid."</p><p>"<strong>Mama</strong>,<b> stop! </b>Are you listening to yourself? What do you mean— we can fix him?" Kahlee asked in anger.</p><p>"There's a lovely conversion program," Kathleen suggested.</p><p>"Okay, just stop right there! Please, just <b>STOP</b>," Kahlee demanded. "This is exactly why I didn't want him to tell you. I knew you would pull something like this! There is <b>nothing</b> <b>wrong </b>with my son. He's not a bad influence on Hailey. Hailey has known the whole time, and guess what, Mama— she still likes boys. I won't deny that sometimes I feel like it would be easier if he were straight, but he's not— and that's okay. I'll love him unconditionally— no matter what. So, for you to even suggest that I throw away <b>my </b>son based upon something as trivial as his sexuality — it makes me sick! How could you!? You're supposed to be his grandmother— his family! If you can't accept him, Mama, then just stay the hell away from him."</p><p>Kahlee, you can't possibly be okay with this," Kathleen said, still shocked by her daughter's words.</p><p>"Did you not hear me? I love you— you're my mama— but I won't allow you to hurt <b>my </b>son," Kahlee insisted with tears in her eyes.</p><p>"Do you want me to leave?" Kathleen asked in a serious tone.</p><p>"No, Mama. I don't want you to leave. All I'm asking is for you to stay away from my baby. Don't antagonize him. If you can't accept him— if you can't say anything nice to him, then, please— I'm begging you— stay away from him. He can't take any more pain," Kahlee explained as the tears fell silently from her crystalline-blue eyes.</p><p>"Kahlee— I don't think I'll ever be able to accept him— it goes against my religion, and you know how much that means to me," Kathleen insisted.</p><p>"And you know how much my son means to me. I'm not pushing you away, Mama— but if you hurt John— I will. Do you understand what I'm saying?" Kahlee asked, hoping to avoid any unnecessary drama.</p><p>"I understand. I'll avoid him— I won't ruin your wedding. I love you, baby," Kathleen said as she hugged her daughter tight.</p><p>"I love you too, Mama," Kahlee replied as she kissed her mother on the cheek. </p><p>"Kahlee— you said that you didn't want me to cause him any more pain— what did you mean by that? What happened to that boy?" Kathleen asked as she rubbed her daughter's arms.</p><p>"Mama, please don't ask me that now. Ask me after the wedding. We really don't need a dark cloud hanging over us, so— please, let it go for now," Kahlee pleaded.</p><p>"Okay— I'll let it go for now," Kathleen promised. "Let's go back inside."</p><p>"Sure," Kahlee smiled as she followed her mother into the building.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Saturday morning—</b>
</p><p>"Well, Daddy— how do I look?" Shepard asked anxiously.</p><p>"You look very handsome. Kaidan's going to love it," Anderson teased with a grin. "It was nice of you to cut your hair."</p><p>"Yeah— it's just my usual cut. I was gonna buzz it all off, but I figured I'd better not. I didn't want Mom to have a heart attack. She likes my hair," Shepard explained.</p><p>"That she does. I'm sure your grandmother will love your new haircut. She was bitching all week," Anderson said, shaking his head in mild irritation.</p><p>"She ain't really spoke to me much. I think she knows I'm gay," Shepard said as he helped his father with his jacket.</p><p>"She knows. She and Kahlee had a very heated discussion about it. Apparently, Kathleen wanted to convert you," Anderson admitted truthfully.</p><p>Shepard tensed at the word. "D—did Mom consider it?"</p><p>"Of course not," Anderson said as he touched his son's face, "We love you, and we know there's nothing wrong with the way you are. You are as God intended."</p><p>"Thanks, Daddy. You look great— very handsome," Shepard smiled as he brushed the shoulders of his father's jacket. "So— are you nervous?"</p><p>"I shouldn't be. I mean— this is number two for me— but I am. I'm as nervous as a priest in a whorehouse," Anderson said with a crooked smile.</p><p>"I think I'm rubbing off on you," Shepard laughed.</p><p>"Yeah— you probably are. I don't mind, though," Anderson admitted. "Well, you'll get to meet your other grandparents soon— their names are Paul and Ursula. You don't have to worry— they know all about you, and they don't mind at all. So, try not to be nervous."</p><p>"I'll try not to be," Shepard promised. "Why didn't they visit sooner?"</p><p>"Well, they're older, and they live in London— so, yeah— it's not an easy flight," Anderson explained as he handed Shepard the rings. "Don't lose these."</p><p>"God, I hope I don't fuck this up," Shepard said as he placed the rings in his inner pocket. "Are you ready to go?"</p><p>"As ready as I'll ever be," Anderson grinned as they made their way to the wedding.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>The wedding went on without a hitch— much to the relief of all those involved. </p><p>Shepard was moved by his mother's beauty as she made her way down the aisle— loving the unbelievably happy smile she wore on her face.</p><p>Hailey was equally as beautiful as Ryan walked her down the aisle— much to the amusement of Alex.</p><p>And even though everything was perfect, Shepard just couldn't stop thinking of Aaron and of what might have been. </p><p>The thoughts weren't unpleasant. They mostly consisted of daydreams of a wedding that could never be— Aaron and Shepard's first kiss as a married couple, their first dance, the cutting of the cake— even the wedding night— they all flashed through Shepard's mind, leaving him wanting and on the verge of a breakdown—</p><p>"Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for the toast. So, without further ado, I give you the best man," the emcee announced as Shepard nervously rose to his feet.</p><p>"Um— I ain't very good at talking in public, so I'll just say what I feel— Mom, you couldn't ask for a better man to share your life with. He's strong and handsome— stubborn and funny— generous and kind— but I guess you already knew that. And he's loving— and I know for a fact that he loves you more than anything in this world. So you'll never have to fear being lonely— not ever again. His heart is yours. And Daddy— well, you know Mom's beautiful, and she's so kind— I guess that's what drew you to her. I know she's the sweetest person I've ever met, and her stubbornness is something to be seen. It's impressive, for sure. She's overprotective to a fault, but only because she cares so much. She chose you, Daddy. You're the one she gave her heart to. So— cherish her, yeah. And, Mom— you cherish him too, yeah. Because you never know when it'll be taken away— believe me— I know. Congratulations! May your love surpass all eternity."</p><p>Anderson kissed his wife's hand as she wiped the tears from her crystalline-blue eyes before standing to hug her son tightly.</p><p>"That was beautiful, baby. I love you," Kahlee whispered as she kissed her son's cheek.</p><p>Anderson smiled proudly at his son as he too hugged his son.</p><p>Once Shepard took his seat, Kaidan grasped his hand tight before kissing his lover on the cheek.</p><p>"That was beautiful, John," Kaidan smiled as he and Shepard watched the newlyweds dance.</p><p>"They look so goddamn happy," Shepard admitted with a grin.</p><p>"They do. It's quite beautiful," Kaidan agreed as he stood and offered his hand to Shepard, "Dance with me."</p><p>"I'd love to," Shepard grinned as he allowed Kaidan to lead him to the dancefloor.</p><p>They danced for several minutes until Shepard's grandmother, Ursula, asked to cut in—</p><p>"Of course," Kaidan bowed, allowing Ursula to take his place.</p><p>"My, you are a handsome young man. You have good taste, as well. He's quite the looker, and so polite. You did well choosing that one," she winked as they continued their dance.</p><p>"Thank you, Grandma. He's a good man— for sure," Shepard said as he glanced briefly at his lover.</p><p>Once the dance was over, Shepard kissed his grandmother on the cheek— thanking her for a lovely time.</p><p>The party was in full swing when Kaidan noticed the far-off and anxious look in Shepard's sapphire eyes—</p><p>"I guess now is as good a time as any," Kaidan whispered aloud as he took a deep breath.</p><p>Shepard was leaning against the wall, watching as the people danced all around him, when Kaidan made his move—</p><p>"Hey, baby," Kaidan greeted his lover with a kiss as he wrapped his arms around Shepard's narrow waist. "Are you ready to leave?"</p><p>"Seriously," Shepard asked, cocking his brow in curiosity, "You'd let me ditch this scene?"</p><p>"I would. I— uh— I want you alone," Kaidan admitted, causing Shepard's heart to race in anticipation.</p><p>"Hell, yes," Shepard agreed with a smile, "Let me go say goodbye to my parents. I'll be back in a second."</p><p>Kaidan watched patiently as his lover said his goodbyes.</p><p>"I'm all yours, babe," Shepard whispered into Kaidan's ear as they walked out of the building.</p><p>"Do you mind if we go to your place? I'd like to spend the night— if that's alright with you," Kaidan asked nervously.</p><p>"Sure, K— anything you want," Shepard replied with a loving smile as he got onto the passenger's seat of Kaidan's black BMW.</p><p>"I've got a surprise for you when I get you home," Kaidan grinned as he kissed Shepard's hand.</p><p>"Baby, I can't wait," Shepard grinned in anticipation of what was to come—</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next Chapter:  Kaidan decides to take their relationship even further—</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0028"><h2>28. Two Become One</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Kaidan decides it's time to take his relationship with Shepard to the next level—</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>***WARNING***<br/>GRAPHIC SEXUAL CONTENT</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Make yourself at home," Shepard insisted with a grin as he unbuckled his seat belt. "I'm gonna go change out of this suit. Do you wanna borrow something to wear?"</p><p>"Actually, I brought a change of clothes with me," Kaidan replied as he motioned to the bag in the back.</p><p>"Prepared— I like that," Shepard winked as he exited the car. "Do you want me to get your bag?"</p><p>"I got it, but thank you for offering," Kaidan said with a smile.</p><p>Shepard unlocked the door quickly before motioning Kaidan inside.</p><p>"You can use the downstairs washroom. I'll just use an upstairs one," Shepard suggested as he headed to his bedroom to retrieve a change of clothes.</p><p>"Shepard," Kaidan called out, causing the blue-eyed blonde to look his way.</p><p>"Yeah," Shepard asked.</p><p>"Don't bother with a shirt," Kaidan winked as he disappeared behind the washroom door.</p><p>"Fuck yes," Shepard exclaimed as he grabbed the first pair of sweats he saw before making his way to an upstairs washroom.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p><em> 'So— things are looking very promising. I think you're finally gonna get good and properly fucked,' </em>the voice said in a pleased tone.</p><p>"I fucking hope so! I mean— it's about goddamn time, right?" Shepard chuckled as he put his suit away.</p><p><em> 'You ain't fucking lying,' </em> the voice admitted. <em> 'Are your grandparents coming home tonight?' </em></p><p>"Nope," Shepard explained, "Kathleen's taking Hailey to some theme park at Cultus Lake. Grandpa didn't trust Kathleen to be alone with Hailey, so he insisted on going with them. They're gonna get a hotel room and spend the day there tomorrow."</p><p><em> 'So— you and Kaidan have the entire house to yourselves— that's fucking awesome,' </em> the voice replied with an excited laugh.</p><p>"Do you think Kaidan would like the hot tub?" Shepard asked in amusement as he glanced at the hot tub in his parents' master bath.</p><p><em> 'I don't think it would hurt to ask,' </em>the voice replied.</p><p>"Hey, K," Shepard called out as he made his way towards the living room.</p><p>"Yeah," Kaidan replied back, turning his attention to his blue-eyed lover.</p><p>"You wanna play around in the hot tub," Shepard asked with a suggestive grin.</p><p>"What about your grandparents?" Kaidan asked curiously.</p><p>"They're taking Hailey to some sort of theme park and won't be back until tomorrow. The house is ours for the night," Shepard explained truthfully.</p><p>"In that case— sure," Kaidan agreed as Shepard took his hand and led him upstairs.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"What if we make a mess?" Kaidan asked nervously.</p><p>"We won't— and even if we do— it's self-cleaning," Shepard assured his love.</p><p>"Well— I suppose we <b>could </b>use it for foreplay," Kaidan suggested as he removed his sweatpants.</p><p>"That's the spirit," Shepard smiled as he too removed his sweats.</p><p>Shepard was the first to enter the water.</p><p>"Damn, that feels good," Shepard admitted as he let the heat loosen his tight muscles.</p><p>"How hot is it?" Kaidan asked curiously.</p><p>"Not as hot as you," Shepard said with a cheeky grin.</p><p>"You're a terrible flirt," Kaidan chuckled as he finally entered the water— taking his place beside Shepard. "This <b>does</b> feel good."</p><p>The two sat in silence for several minutes— just enjoying the relaxing heat until, finally, Kaidan became bold—</p><p>The young whisky-eyed brunette let his hand drift to Shepard's impressive manhood— giving it a few gentle tugs before kissing the blue-eyed beauty slowly.</p><p>Shepard moaned into the kiss as Kaidan continued to stroke his lover gently.</p><p>"That feels good, baby," Shepard admitted as his breath began to heighten.</p><p>"I want you," Kaidan whispered as he continued his assault on Shepard's flesh.</p><p>"I want you too," Shepard replied as he took Kaidan in hand.</p><p>The two continued to stroke each other as they covered each other with hungry kisses.</p><p>"I'm close, baby," Shepard admitted. "Do you wanna cum?"</p><p>"I do," Kaidan replied with a nod as he continued to stroke Shepard faster.</p><p>"Cum with me, K," Shepard pleaded as he continued to stroke his lover. </p><p>It didn't take long until both were revelling in their release— ribbons of hot semen mingling with the water— their bodies writhing as the water splashed around them.</p><p>"I needed that," Kaidan admitted with a grin as he tried to catch his breath.</p><p>"Mmm— Me too," Shepard chuckled as he gave Kaidan a quick peck on the lips.</p><p>"We better get out of here before we completely shrivel up," Shepard suggested with a playful splash.</p><p>"You go first. I wanna get a good look," Kaidan said with a suggestive wink.</p><p>"Are you checking out my ass, K?" Shepard asked with an amused laugh.</p><p>"Me? I would never," Kaidan grinned, feigning innocence.</p><p>"Uh-huh," Shepard said— skeptically— as he exited the tub. "Join me in my room?"</p><p>"Looking forward to it," Kaidan admitted as he moved to exit the tub.</p><p>"I'll go on ahead," Shepard insisted, "You stay and dry off. I'll call you when everything's ready."</p><p>"I don't understand," Kaidan admitted in confusion, "Aren't we ready now?"</p><p>"Relax, baby," Shepard assured his lover, "I'm just gonna change the sheets and get myself ready. It'll save time."</p><p>"I see— but why change the sheets when we're only gonna mess them up again," Kaidan asked in confusion.</p><p>"My bedsheets smell like Grandpa. Don't get me wrong— I love my grandpa, but I don't want to inhale his scent while you're fucking me," Shepard explained with an amused laugh.</p><p>Kaidan's dick began to stir at Shepard's words, and it took every ounce of control he had to will away his erection.</p><p>"It'll only take a few minutes, babe," Shepard promised. "Feel free to grab something to eat or drink."</p><p>"Okay— be quick, love," Kaidan said with a smile as he watched his lover exit the bedroom.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>Shepard rushed to change the sheets— making absolutely sure they were fresh and comfortable before moving to retrieve the condoms and the lubricant from his nightstand drawer.</p><p>"I'll just put these here," Shepard said to himself as he placed the items on the nightstand table. "Now— all I have to do is get myself ready and — hopefully— Kaidan will finally fuck my brains out."</p><p><em> 'Wow— very romantic,' </em>the voice teased with a snicker.</p><p>"Fuck you! I fucking <b>want </b> this— I <b>need </b>it," Shepard admitted. "I ain't felt this way since Aaron. Hell, I never thought I'd feel this way again. I just hope I do good, and that he likes it."</p><p><em> '</em><b><em>Sigh— </em> </b> <em> You're still the same— always worrying about disappointing someone. Can you, please, just concentrate on enjoying yourself— just this once.' </em></p><p>"There ain't nothin' wrong with wanting Kaidan to feel good," Shepard said in irritation.</p><p><em> 'There ain't nothin' wrong with you feeling good either,' </em>the voice reminded the young blonde.</p><p>"I guess— I'm going to go get ready. Please, don't say anything tonight. I just wanna focus on K. Can you do that for me," Shepard pleaded.</p><p><em> 'Fine— but you owe me,' </em>the voice insisted as he went blissfully quiet.</p><p>Once Shepard had prepared himself for the night to come, he sought out his whisky-eyed lover—</p><p>"K, baby— where'd you go," Shepard asked as he searched the house for the missing man.</p><p>"I'm up here," Kaidan called out from the second-floor landing.</p><p>"What are you doing up there?" Shepard asked curiously.</p><p>"Just looking at this photograph," Kaidan replied with a smile.</p><p>"What photograph?" Shepard asked as he made his way to Kaidan's side.</p><p>"This one of you," Kaidan answered, motioning to the small black and white photo.</p><p>"I didn't know that was there. Goddamn, I look pissed as hell," Shepard chuckled in amusement.</p><p>"When was this taken?" Kaidan asked curiously.</p><p>"Hmm— I'd say I was about fourteen in that pic— maybe fifteen," Shepard replied with a shrug.</p><p>"Where was it taken? There's no background, just a grey wall," Kaidan stated with his head cocked in amusement.</p><p>"I can't remember," Shepard shrugged. "It was either at a group home or a hospital. It was most likely taken in a hospital. I wonder how Daddy got that pic."</p><p>"You aren't the one that gave it to him," Kaidan asked in confusion.</p><p>"Nope. I didn't even know that photo existed," Shepard replied honestly.</p><p>"Your hair looks lighter in this photo," Kaidan noticed as he traced the image with his fingertips.</p><p>"Yeah— it was taken in summer. It gets lighter in the sun, especially when it's cut short like that. I think the sun bleaches it or something," Shepard explained.</p><p>"It looks good," Kaidan said with a nod.</p><p>"I guess," Shepard shrugged.</p><p>"So— is everything ready?" Kaidan asked anxiously.</p><p>"Yep. Are <b>you</b> ready?" Shepard asked nervously.</p><p>"Come here," Kaidan instructed as he took Shepard by the hand, kissing him softly before leading him to Shepard's downstairs bedroom—</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>The minute they were behind closed doors, Kaidan was all over the blue-eyed beauty— kissing his way all along Shepard's neck before grinding himself against the blonde's clothed sex. </p><p>"I can't wait to be inside you," Kaidan whispered into Shepard's ear, causing the younger man to shiver in anticipation, "Are you cold, baby?"</p><p>Shepard shook his head slowly. "Just excited— maybe a little nervous," he admitted as he kissed Kaidan gently.</p><p>"Let's get those pants off you, eh," Kaidan said with a wicked grin.</p><p>Shepard just laughed as he quickly removed his sweats— leaving him naked and vulnerable under Kaidan's gaze.</p><p>"I will never grow tired of the sight of your body," Kaidan whispered as he reached out to touch Shepard's growing erection.</p><p>"Mmm—" Shepard hummed in appreciation of Kaidan's touch. "I wanna taste you, baby."</p><p>Kaidan said nothing— he just removed the towel he wore around his waist before gently pushing Shepard to his knees.</p><p>Shepard just grinned as he stroked Kaidan firmly before kissing the tip of the whisky-eyed man's beautiful cock.</p><p>"Don't tease me, honey," Kaidan chuckled as he playfully tugged on his lover's dark-blonde hair.</p><p>Shepard laughed in amusement as he took the head into his mouth— sucking gently as he worked the shaft.</p><p>Kaidan moaned as Shepard licked the slit while he sucked the head with a little more urgency.</p><p>"God, you're so good at this," Kaidan praised as he ran his hands through Shepard's dark-blonde hair.</p><p>"Mmm—" Shepard hummed as he licked his way down the shaft until he reached his lover's sack. He then surprised Kaidan by taking one of the orbs into his mouth— sucking it gently before giving the same attention to the other.</p><p>"Oh, God," Kaidan moaned, causing Shepard to grin as he continued to stroke his lover.</p><p>"Rahna never sucked your balls," Shepard asked bluntly.</p><p>"Damn, you're blunt. No, she never did," Kaidan admitted.</p><p>"Baby, I'm gonna do things to you that'll blow your mind," Shepard promised as he kissed Kaidan passionately. </p><p>"I'm looking forward to it," Kaidan grinned.</p><p>"Kaidan— can I touch you— here?" Shepard asked as he gently ghosted a finger over Kaidan's virgin entrance.</p><p>"What?" Kaidan asked nervously.</p><p>"I promise not to hurt you— and I promise you it <b>will</b> feel good," Shepard explained, hoping his lover trusted him enough to experiment.</p><p>"I—I don't know if I'm ready for that. I mean— it's kinda dirty," Kaidan replied, blushing in embarrassment.</p><p>"K, baby, please— trust me," Shepard pleaded, his too-blue eyes shining with an almost ethereal glow.</p><p>"I do— I trust you," Kaidan whispered as he touched Shepard's left cheek. "Okay."</p><p>Shepard leaned into Kaidan's touch before standing to lead Kaidan to the bed.</p><p>Once Kaidan was comfortable, Shepard positioned himself between his lover's spread legs—</p><p>"Relax, baby. I'm gonna make you feel real good," Shepard whispered as he picked up right where he left off— </p><p>Shepard took his time, making sure to kiss every inch of Kaidan's manhood. Kaidan gasped in shocked surprise when Shepard kissed him in his most private of places—</p><p>"Don't kiss me there," Kaidan whined, his face burning in embarrassment.</p><p>"You don't like how it feels," Shepard asked anxiously— afraid he had ruined everything with his eagerness to please. </p><p>"N—no— it's not that! It's just— it's dirty," Kaidan replied quietly.</p><p>"Baby, sex is dirty. You're kidding yourself if you think any different. If you like it, and it feels good to you— then, please, let me do it for you," Shepard said in a pleading tone.</p><p>"You don't mind," Kaidan asked nervously.</p><p>"Of course not, baby. I want you to experience how good sex can feel," Shepard explained with a sweet smile that melted Kaidan's heart. "Now— sit back and relax. I'll take good care of you."</p><p>Kaidan did just as he was told, and within minutes, the whisky-eyed brunette was writhing on the bed— pleasure sending his body into orbit.</p><p>"I'm gonna finger you now," Shepard explained as he placed his fingers in his own mouth— making sure to get them nice and wet before adding a single digit into Kaidan's virgin entrance.</p><p>Kaidan tensed up, causing Shepard to rub his lover's stomach as he tried to soothe him as best he could.</p><p>"Am I hurting you, baby," Shepard asked— his brow furrowed in fear.</p><p>"No— it's just— different," Kaidan admitted truthfully.</p><p>Shepard sighed in relief as he added another finger. "I ain't gonna stretch you too much. I just wanna make you cum."</p><p>Shepard continued his work until he found— exactly— what he was looking for—</p><p>Kaidan's hips bucked as he let out a sharp cry. "What the hell was that?"</p><p>Shepard laughed in amusement at his whisky-eyed lover.  "That's your prostate, babe. It feels good, eh?"</p><p>"Fuck yes— it does," Kaidan admitted as he continued to push back, trying to fuck himself on Shepard's long fingers.</p><p>"I'm gonna take you into my mouth. You can use my throat, okay," Shepard said as he took Kaidan's entire length into his throat as he continued to simultaneously finger his lover.</p><p>Kaidan's senses were in overdrive as Shepard ramped up his efforts, allowing Kaidan to fuck his throat in wild abandon— </p><p>"I'm so close," Kaidan whined as Shepard continued his assault on Kaidan's prostate.</p><p>It only took a few more strokes for Kaidan to find his release— his hips jerking as he released stream after stream of cum down Shepard's well-used throat.</p><p>Shepard took his time, cleaning the semen from his lover's spent cock before allowing it to fall from his mouth.</p><p>"Was it good for you, baby?" Shepard asked nervously.</p><p>"It was fucking incredible," Kaidan admitted as he tried to catch his breath.</p><p>"I'm glad you enjoyed it," Shepard grinned as he kissed Kaidan languidly. "Do you always curse when you have sex?"</p><p>"Huh?" Kaidan asked in confusion.</p><p>"You only say fuck when you're about to cum, or when you're coming down from your orgasm," Shepard explained as he kissed his lover's cheek.</p><p>"I never realized that," Kaidan chuckled as he kissed Shepard on the top of the head.</p><p>Shepard shifted a bit as he tried to take the pressure off his erect penis.</p><p>"What's wrong," Kaidan asked in confusion before realization dawned on him— "Oh, my God, you didn't cum! I'm so sorry— that was selfish of me."</p><p>"K— it's fine," Shepard insisted, "I'm waiting for you to fuck me. I don't wanna cum until you're inside me. I mean— you still wanna fuck me, don't you?"</p><p>"More than anything," Kaidan assured him with a kiss.</p><p>"Good— that's good," Shepard said with a gentle smile, relieved that Kaidan still wanted him. "If you think you're ready, we can try to go again."</p><p>"I'm willing, but I don't know if my body is able," Kaidan admitted as he took himself in hand— stroking the softened flesh.</p><p>"Oh, I can get you there— trust me," Shepard grinned as he replaced Kaidan's hand with his own. "Just let me know when you're ready."</p><p>"If you think you can get me hard again, then by-all-means—"</p><p>Shepard gave Kaidan a suggestive wink as he used his talented mouth to bring 'little Kaidan' back to life.</p><p>It only took a few minutes for Kaidan to reach maximum arousal.</p><p>"That's enough, baby," Kaidan whispered as he pulled Shepard in for a long kiss.</p><p>"How do you want me?" Shepard asked in an almost shy voice.</p><p>"To be honest— I'm not really sure. I know I want to see your face, but that's just about all I know," Kaidan admitted. "To tell you the truth— I'm nervous as all hell. I've never been with a guy, and I've never had anal sex. I have no idea what I'm doing, and I'm terrified of hurting you."</p><p>"K, baby, you ain't gonna hurt me," Shepard insisted.</p><p>"You don't know that," Kaidan replied nervously. "I guess what I want is for you to help guide me. I want you to control the tempo. I've wanted this for so long, and I want it to last. You're more experienced. You know all the tricks for prolonging things. If you let me control the tempo, it'll be over way too soon."</p><p>"I think I understand. Do you want me to ride you?" Shepard asked curiously.</p><p>"I guess I do," Kaidan admitted truthfully.</p><p>"I can do that," Shepard assured his lover as he reached for the bottle of lube sitting on the nightstand. "I already prepped myself, but if you want to be extra careful— you can open me up."</p><p>"O—okay," Kaidan agreed— nervously— as they changed positions— with Kaidan now positioned between Shepard's spread legs, and Shepard lying comfortably on the bed.</p><p>"It's okay, babe. I ain't uncomfortable. You can add another if you want," Shepard instructed as his lover continued to stretch him.</p><p>Once Kaidan was convinced that Shepard was ready for him, he slowly removed his fingers—</p><p>"Wait," Shepard whispered as he caught Kaidan's hand— slowly guiding it back to his entrance. "Put them back in. I want to guide you."</p><p>"Guide me?" Kaidan asked in confusion.</p><p>"To my prostate. You know, that spot that makes your eyes roll back in your head," Shepard explained with a grin. "Once you find it, just aim for that spot with your cock, and you'll make me cum like a goddamn volcano."</p><p>"Seriously," Kaidan grinned in amusement as Shepard guided his hand until—</p><p>"Oh, fuck, yes! That's the spot," Shepard whispered as he continued to fuck himself on Kaidan's fingers. "Can you feel it, baby?"</p><p>"I can," Kaidan replied as he continued to stroke the spot in fascination.</p><p>"That's enough, babe," Shepard insisted as he pulled Kaidan's hand away.</p><p>"Are you ready," Kaidan asked nervously.</p><p>"I'm ready," Shepard smiled as he kissed Kaidan gently. "Lie back on the bed."</p><p>Kaidan did as he was told— watching Shepard closely as the young blonde retrieved a condom from the table.</p><p>Shepard took Kaidan into his mouth briefly before placing the condom onto his lover's sex.</p><p>"Just relax, babe— let me do all the work," Shepard insisted as he added more lubricant to both Kaidan and himself.</p><p>Kaidan watched in fascination as Shepard lowered himself slowly onto his lover's cock.</p><p>Kaidan automatically tried to thrust up into Shepard, causing the blue-eyed blonde to hold him steady.</p><p>"Easy, baby," Shepard whispered. "Let me adjust. It won't take long."</p><p>"I'm sorry— I didn't mean to. It was a reflex," Kaidan apologized. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"</p><p>"No, baby— you didn't hurt me," Shepard grinned as he finally took all of Kaidan inside him.</p><p>"God, you're so— tight. I've never felt anything like it," Kaidan admitted truthfully.</p><p>"Your cock feels good," Shepard grinned as he began to move his hips. </p><p>"I can't believe I'm inside you," Kaidan whispered as he grabbed Shepard's hips tight.</p><p>"Are you ready, baby? I'm gonna give you everything I have," Shepard whispered as he really started to ride Kaidan.</p><p>It wasn't long before Kaidan was thrusting up into Shepard's willing body, trying desperately to reach his peak.</p><p>Shepard immediately slowed his pace, causing Kaidan to whine in frustration.</p><p>"Not yet, baby. You said you wanted it to last— well, I'm gonna give you what you want," Shepard promised as he started to ride Kaidan slowly.</p><p>Shepard rode Kaidan until the sweat poured from their oversensitized bodies. Shepard was close, and he could tell that Kaidan was even closer.</p><p>Shepard put his hand in Kaidan's as he leaned forward— close enough for their foreheads to touch. "Baby, I'm gonna cum," Shepard whispered as he kissed Kaidan passionately.</p><p>"Cum for me, John," Kaidan pleaded as he took Shepard's cock in hand— stroking his lover in time with his sharp thrusts.</p><p>As if by command, the beautiful blue-eyed blonde came hard as he buried his head in the hollow of Kaidan's neck—</p><p>"Oh, fuck— that feels so good," Kaidan admitted as Shepard continued to milk the whisky-eyed brunette dry.</p><p>Once Shepard's orgasm was over, he started riding Kaidan as hard as he could— knowing that his lover was close to the edge.</p><p>In just a few brief moments, Shepard had Kaidan cumming in ecstasy—</p><p>Kaidan's body jerked as he held Shepard tight to his chest.</p><p>The two said nothing for a long while— they just held each other as they came down from their sexual high.</p><p>Shepard sighed as Kaidan slipped from his well-used body. </p><p>Kaidan quickly removed the condom before tossing it in the nearby trash can— trying his best to avoid any unnecessary movement.</p><p>Shepard, on the other hand, retrieved a damp cloth from the nearby nightstand.</p><p>"I'm sorry I got you all sticky," Shepard apologized as he gently cleaned Kaidan's chest.</p><p>"No need to apologize— I don't mind being sticky," Kaidan admitted with a smile as he kissed Shepard softly.</p><p>Once Shepard had finished cleaning the semen from their chests, he quickly tossed the cloth back onto the table.</p><p>"That was beautiful," Kaidan whispered as he pulled Shepard into his arms.</p><p>"You liked it, then? I did good," Shepard asked nervously.</p><p>"Of course, I did. You were incredible. I've never experienced anything like that before. I loved every minute of it," Kaidan explained truthfully.</p><p>"I'm glad," Shepard whispered as he began to tap Kaidan's chest nervously.</p><p>"Are you okay, baby?" Kaidan asked, immediately catching on to the nervousness of his love.</p><p>"I love you, K," Shepard said in a voice just loud enough for Kaidan to hear. "You don't gotta love me back or nothin'— I just wanted you to know, yeah."</p><p>Kaidan's eyes went wide in surprise before smiling lovingly at the blue-eyed beauty. "I love you too, baby," Kaidan admitted as he kissed the top of Shepard's head, "I really do."</p><p>"That's good— I'm happy," Shepard whispered as he wiped a stray tear from his sapphire-blue eyes.</p><p>"God, you're beautiful," Kaidan praised as he held Shepard tight, causing the blue-eyed teen to laugh in amusement.</p><p>"I'm tired," Shepard whispered as he kissed Kaidan's chest.</p><p>"Me too. I think we should call it a night, eh," Kaidan suggested with a grin.</p><p>"Yeah. I think we should," Shepard agreed as he rolled over and turned out the light. "Hey, K?"</p><p>"Hn?"</p><p>"What made you decide that tonight was the night?" Shepard asked curiously.</p><p>"I'm not really sure. I— honestly— didn't know for sure until I saw you standing there beside your father. You were so handsome. All I could think of was how much I wanted you. Then I realized that I had to have you— to make you mine. Is that too forward for you?"</p><p>"Not at all. I'm glad you wanted me. For a while, I thought you were getting cold feet— that maybe you had changed your mind about me," Shepard admitted. "I love you, so I'll be honest with you— life with me ain't easy— just ask my mom and dad. But— if you'll be patient with me— I'll try my best to make you happy."</p><p>"John, you already make me happy. So, don't worry so much, eh," Kaidan insisted as he kissed Shepard gently. "I can tell you're exhausted— you can barely hold those beautiful sapphire eyes open— so let's close our eyes and get some much-needed rest."</p><p>"Okay," Shepard agreed as he tried to stifle a yawn. "Goodnight, baby."</p><p>"Goodnight, John— sweet dreams," Kaidan whispered as he closed his whisky-coloured eyes and allowed sleep to overtake him.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next Chapter:  Shepard gets blackmailed—</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0029"><h2>29. Blackmail</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Shepard gets blackmailed—</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>***WARNING***<br/>MENTIONS OF PAST TORTURE/RAPE</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kaidan was sound asleep, enjoying a peaceful dream when he was suddenly jolted awake by the feel of something ice-cold against his feet—</p><p>"What the hell?" Kaidan mumbled as he wiped the sleep from his eyes.</p><p>Looking around in confusion— the whisky-eyed young man was at a loss— unable to see the source of the cold. Eventually, his eyes landed upon the form of his sleeping lover. Shepard was sound asleep— lying on his side— his chest rising-and-falling in a peaceful rhythm. </p><p>"He looks like an angel when he's sleeping," Kaidan mused as he curled in close to his lover— wrapping an arm tightly around Shepard's narrow waist before attempting to rub their feet together—</p><p>"Shit," Kaidan cursed as his feet recoiled from the cold. He had finally pinpointed the source of the shocking cold— Shepard's feet—</p><p>"His feet are freezing," Kaidan thought aloud as he ran his hand along Shepard's body. Upon noticing his lover's lower-than-average body temperature, Kaidan quickly decided to try and wake his sleeping lover.</p><p>"John, baby— your feet are freezing," Kaidan spoke, loudly, as he continued to jostle his unconscious lover.</p><p>"Hn—" Shepard groaned as he slapped Kaidan's hand away. "Fuck off," Shepard mumbled in irritation.</p><p>Kaidan couldn't help but laugh, amused by his grouchy lover. "Well, good morning to you too. You really aren't a morning person, are you?"</p><p>"Hn—" Shepard groaned as he pulled the sheet over his head before mumbling, "Cold—"</p><p>"Are you cold, honey?" Kaidan asked as he rubbed his lover's shoulder.</p><p>"Uh-huh," Shepard admitted as he allowed himself to be warmed by Kaidan's body heat.</p><p>'I hope he's not getting a cold. His body temperature usually runs hot,' Kaidan thought to himself as he kissed his lover's neck.</p><p>Shepard eventually shifted to his other side. Now that he was facing Kaidan, his lover could see just how pale the young man had become.</p><p>"Cold," Shepard mumbled as he buried his face in the hollow of Kaidan's neck.</p><p>"Your nose is cold, baby," Kaidan chuckled as he rubbed his lover's back.</p><p>Kaidan could feel his lover's grin against his neck before Shepard nipped the tender flesh playfully.</p><p>"I know how you can warm me up," Shepard mumbled as he licked the pulse of Kaidan's neck.</p><p>"How's that," Kaidan asked in amusement.</p><p>"You could fuck me again," Shepard suggested as he pressed his naked body into his lover's own.</p><p>"Yeah. You sure you're up for it," Kaidan asked with a grin.</p><p>"Oh, I'm up for it," Shepard insisted as he guided Kaidan's hand to his hardening flesh.</p><p>"That you are," Kaidan chuckled as he kissed Shepard languidly. </p><p>"The condoms are on the table," Shepard whispered as he motioned to the nightstand.</p><p>"How do you want me to take you?" Kaidan asked curiously.</p><p>"Surprise me," Shepard grinned as he kissed his lover playfully.</p><p>And surprise Shepard— he did. Kaidan ending up taking Shepard from behind in a position that made it easier for Kaidan to hit the young blonde's sweet spot— </p><p>And with the constant stimulation, it wasn't long before Kaidan had Shepard cumming hard— his cum flowing in ribbons against his chest and the bedsheets. Kaidan quickly followed suit as he thrust hard into Shepard one last time before reaching his peak.</p><p>"Feeling any warmer, baby," Kaidan asked as he placed a kiss between Shepard's shoulder blades.</p><p>"Much," Shepard chuckled as he turned his head so he could kiss his whisky-eyed lover.</p><p>"I hate to ruin the moment, but I'm gonna have to hit the washroom," Kaidan announced as he disposed of the used condom.</p><p>"Yeah— same here. I gotta piss like a motherfucker," Shepard admitted with a yawn.</p><p>"Have you always been so blunt?" Kaidan asked with an amused grin.</p><p>"Yep. Does that bother you?" Shepard asked as he stretched his arms over his head.</p><p>"No. I think it suits you," Kaidan assured him with a wink. "Which washroom do you want to use?"</p><p>"It don't matter to me," Shepard shrugged. "The house has three— I'll just use one of the upstairs ones. You can use the one in the hall."</p><p>"Okay. I'm gonna take a quick shower while I'm at it," Kaidan replied as he grabbed his travel bag.</p><p>"Just let me grab my toothbrush," Shepard smiled as he followed Kaidan out of the bedroom.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>Once Shepard had finished his shower, he decided to make breakfast for Kaidan—</p><p>"What the hell should I make?" Shepard mused as he stared into the refrigerator. "Eggs, maybe? It's kinda hard to fuck up eggs. He likes bacon— so, maybe I'll make him some bacon and eggs. Yeah, that should work."</p><p>Shepard retrieved everything he would need and began making breakfast for his love.</p><p><em> 'So— was it good for you or what?' </em>The voice asked curiously.</p><p>"It was very good. In fact, it was great," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p><p>
  <em> 'That's good to hear. Did he enjoy it?" </em>
</p><p>"I think he did. I hope he did, anyway," Shepard shrugged as he continued to cook.</p><p><em> 'Well, I hope he still wants you after he tastes your cooking,' </em>the voice snickered, causing Shepard to grin in amusement.</p><p>"Fuck you," Shepard chuckled as Kaidan entered the kitchen.</p><p>"Excuse me?" Kaidan asked in confusion.</p><p>"Hey, K— Ignore me. I was talking to— well— I think I told you about the voice in my head," Shepard shrugged— falling silent as he concentrated on preparing the food.</p><p>"John, are you okay?" Kaidan asked— noticing the change in Shepard's mood.</p><p>"I'm fine," Shepard shrugged as he retrieved two plates from the cabinet.</p><p>"You got awfully quiet," Kaidan said as he continued to study the blue-eyed blonde.</p><p>"So?" Shepard mumbled as he placed the food on the plates.</p><p>Kaidan noticed the flame still flickering on the stovetop. "You forgot to turn off the burners," Kaidan informed his love as he quickly turned them off.</p><p>Shepard began to fidget restlessly. "I was gonna turn it off," Shepard said— his tone a bit harsh.</p><p>"Okay. Do you want me to make some coffee?" Kaidan asked.</p><p>Shepard furrowed his brow in confusion. "I already started the coffee."</p><p>"Oh—" Kaidan nodded as he stood to press the power button on the coffee maker, causing the machine to— instantly— come to life. "You forgot—"</p><p>"Yeah, yeah— I forgot to turn on the goddamn machine," Shepard admitted as he hit the side of his head hard. "I'm so fucking stupid."</p><p>"Hey, John— you're not stupid. You just forgot. Everybody forgets, sometimes," Kaidan assured him. </p><p>"It's my goddamn brain. It don't work the way it used to. I forget the simplest shit— it's fucking embarrassing," Shepard insisted.</p><p>"Baby, you're doing fine," Kaidan said as he hugged Shepard's narrow waist.</p><p>"Thanks. K— do you think it's weird that I talk to the voice in my head?" Shepard asked nervously.</p><p>"Is that why you got all nervous and quiet?" Kaidan asked, already knowing the answer.</p><p>"I guess—" Shepard shrugged. Can you, please, answer the question, K? I really need to know how you feel."</p><p>"It's strange to me, but it doesn't bother me. As long as it doesn't cause you harm— I can live with it," Kaidan assured his lover.</p><p>"He don't hurt me. He helps me. I can't explain it. He's not me— but he's a part of me. It sounds stupid," Shepard tried hard to explain.</p><p>"If he's a part of you, then I'll accept him. It's that simple," Kaidan replied with a sincere smile.</p><p>"That's good. I gotta take my meds. Sit and eat before your food gets cold. I'll make toast in a second," Shepard promised as he quickly took his medication.</p><p>"I can make toast. I'm closer to the toaster," Kaidan winked.</p><p>"Appreciated," Shepard nodded as he poured two cups of coffee. "Do you want cream or sugar, maybe— or do you like it black?"</p><p>"Lots of cream and lots of sugar," Kaidan grinned. "What about you?"</p><p>"I can't handle sugar. It makes me nauseous— cream is fine, though— but it don't really matter. As long as it ain't got sugar in it— I'll drink it," Shepard admitted as he handed Kaidan the cream. "The sugar is on the table."</p><p>"Thanks," Kaidan smiled as he stirred his coffee. "The food looks good."</p><p>"Yeah— I hope you can eat it. I can't cook for shit," Shepard admitted as he took a seat at the table.</p><p>"It tastes great," Kaidan assured his love, "You did well."</p><p><em> 'You might wanna hold on to this one. It ain't every day you find someone that can stomach your food,' </em>the voice teased.</p><p>'Fuck you. I think I will keep him around. I love him,' Shepard thought silently.</p><p><em> 'I can tell. I hope it works out,' </em>the voice said sincerely.</p><p>"Me too," Shepard said aloud as he picked at his food.</p><p>"Huh?" Kaidan asked.</p><p>"Nothing. So— you're taking college courses already— what do you wanna do— as a career, I mean," Shepard asked curiously.</p><p>"I want to become a neurosurgeon," Kaidan admitted as he continued to eat his breakfast.</p><p>"Like a brain surgeon," Shepard asked as he drank his coffee.</p><p>"Exactly. I guess my migraine issues are probably the reason I decided to go that route," Kaidan admitted with a smile.</p><p>"Well, you're definitely smart enough for it," Shepard said as he sat his plate of half-eaten food aside.</p><p>"Is that all you're going to eat," Kaidan asked, his brow furrowing in concern.</p><p>"I ain't very hungry," Shepard shrugged.</p><p>Kaidan placed his hand atop Shepard's, rubbing his lover's knuckles. "Are you feeling okay?"</p><p>"I'm fine, K. You don't gotta worry about me," Shepard insisted.</p><p>"Yeah— well, I'm always gonna worry about you. I love you, John," Kaidan admitted as he leaned over to kiss the blue-eyed blonde.</p><p>"We're home," Kathleen announced before freezing in her tracks,  quickly placing her hand over Hailey's eyes. "Have you no shame?"</p><p>"Relax, woman— it was only a kiss," Jon insisted as he retrieved a beer from the refrigerator.</p><p>"Grandma, I've seen a kiss before. You can uncover my eyes now," Hailey said in an annoyed tone.</p><p>Kathleen reluctantly removed her hand from her granddaughter's eyes. </p><p>"You're home early, squirt," Shepard teased as Hailey ran to get in his lap.</p><p>"The park was closed," Hailey pouted.</p><p>"That's too bad," Shepard said, apologetically, as he kissed her tiny forehead. </p><p>"Can I have your bacon?" Hailey asked as she motioned towards his plate.</p><p>"Sure, baby girl," Shepard said with a smile.</p><p>"I'm going to go pack. We're leaving this evening," Kathleen announced. "Hailey, baby, when you're finished eating, go and pack your things. We'll drop you off at your friend's house on the way."</p><p>"Why can't I stay here? Loco's here— he takes good care of me," Hailey insisted.</p><p>"I can watch her. I'll make sure she gets to school," Shepard assured his grandmother.</p><p>"I say we let her stay with her brother," Jon said with a wink to his tiny granddaughter.</p><p>"I don't think that's a good idea— but we'll talk about it later. I really have to pack. Jon, you better pack too," Kathleen insisted.</p><p>"Woman, we don't even live in the same state. I'm pretty sure we don't have to leave at the exact same time," Jon said with an annoyed look.</p><p>"If you want a free ride to the airport, you'll be ready to leave when I leave," Kathleen insisted as she made her way to the guest room.</p><p>"That woman is a pain in my ass. So— I guess you got lucky last night," Jon teased his grandson playfully. </p><p>"Yeah— does it show," Shepard asked with a grin.</p><p>"It does. It looks good on you," Jon admitted truthfully.</p><p>"Thanks," Shepard grinned.</p><p>"Hello, Kaidan. You're looking happy," Jon said with a wink.</p><p>"Hello, Sir. I am quite happy— thank you," Kaidan replied with a grin.</p><p>"Hailey, I'm gonna go call Mom and ask her if you can stay with me," Shepard said as he sat her down in the nearby chair. "You know how Mom is, so don't be surprised if she says no."</p><p>"Okay. I won't be— but I will be disappointed," Hailey admitted as she ate the last of Shepard's bacon. </p><p>Just as Shepard suspected, Kahlee refused to allow Hailey to stay— citing Shepard's unpredictable health as the reason. And even though Hailey was disappointed, she seemed to accept and understand her mother's decision. </p><p>It was another three hours before Shepard's grandparents were ready to depart Vancouver—</p><p>"Jon, hurry up and get in the car," Kathleen insisted as she placed her luggage in the back. "Hailey, baby, get in the car."</p><p>"Loco, you'll come, see me— won't you?" Hailey asked as she hugged her brother tight.</p><p>"I will. I promise. You be good," Shepard said as he kissed her on the cheek.</p><p>"I will. I love you, Loco," Hailey said as she made her way to the car.</p><p>"Well, son— it's been a pleasure," Jon said as he shook his grandson's hand before pulling him into a tight hug. "I'm proud to be your grandfather. I love you. Be safe, especially on the ice."</p><p>"I will, Grandpa. I love you, too. Thanks for everything. I'll miss you, yeah," Shepard said with a smile.</p><p>"I'll miss you too. Goodbye, Kaidan. It was nice meeting you. Take care of my grandson and be good to him," Jon insisted as he shook the young man's hand.</p><p>"Goodbye, Sir. I promise to take care of him," Kaidan replied with a sincere smile.</p><p>"Jon, get in the car already," Kathleen yelled.</p><p>"I'm coming, you old crone," Jon said as he made his way to the car.</p><p>Shepard and Kaidan watched quietly as they finally drove away.</p><p>"I noticed your grandmother never said goodbye to you," Kaidan observed curiously.</p><p>"She fuckin' hates me," Shepard said with a shrug.</p><p>"No, she doesn't," Kaidan insisted, "She's your grandmother— there's no way she hates you."</p><p>"K, she <b>hates</b> me. She don't consider me her grandson. Hell, she don't even say my name. She just calls me 'boy'— It don't bother me, though," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p><p>"I see," Kaidan said with a disappointed voice, "I find that very sad."</p><p>"Hey, forget about Kathleen. You wanna go find something to get into?" Shepard asked playfully.</p><p>"Sure," Kaidan chuckled as he followed his lover into the house.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Two weeks later— </b>
</p><p>"Hey, babe," Shepard grinned as he handed Kaidan his hockey bag.</p><p>"How was practise?" Kaidan asked as he placed the bag into the trunk.</p><p>"It was good. Things got a little heated with Jake and his crew,  but I think I made my point," Shepard grinned.</p><p>"And how did you manage that?" Kaidan asked in amusement.</p><p>"I knocked his ass into the boards. I told them that if they didn't start pulling their weight— I was gonna kick their fucking asses. It must have, finally, sunk in, because they were actually decent for the rest of practice," Shepard explained as he got into the passenger's side.</p><p>"Let's hope it lasts. You guys have a tough game coming up," Kaidan said with a concerned look on his face.</p><p>"Yeah— the Hellhounds," Shepard said with a sigh. "Let's not talk about that now."</p><p>"Okay. So— what would you like to do this evening?" Kaidan asked as he rubbed Shepard's hand gently.</p><p>"I dunno— we could always park somewhere and make out," Shepard suggested with a wicked grin.</p><p>Kaidan couldn't help but chuckle. "I don't think I know of a place quite that secluded around here."</p><p>"I know of a place. It's near a club in the DTES— if you're interested," Shepard said with a shrug.</p><p>"I'm game," Kaidan grinned as he pulled out of the parking lot.</p><p>
  <b>One hour later—</b>
</p><p>The sound of Kaidan's car horn rang out in the empty lot, causing Shepard to laugh as he adjusted his body to prevent any more unwanted noise.</p><p>"Sorry about that," Shepard apologized with an amused grin as he continued to grind himself on Kaidan's lap.</p><p>"Don't worry about it," Kaidan laughed as he pulled the younger man closer, loving the feel of Shepard's naked skin.</p><p>The two continued their dance until the sight of headlights interrupted them—</p><p>"Fuck," Shepard cursed as he awkwardly manoeuvred himself off of his lover's lap— eventually settling into the passenger's side.</p><p>"God, I hope that's not a cop," Kaidan said nervously. "You don't have a shirt on— so this might get very awkward if we have to explain anything."</p><p>"I'll handle it— if it comes to that," Shepard assured his nervous love.</p><p>"Why aren't they getting out of the car?" Kaidan asked curiously.</p><p>"I don't think they're cops," Shepard admitted as he opened the car door.</p><p>"Where are you going?" Kaidan asked anxiously.</p><p>"I'm gonna go see who they are and try to figure out what the fuck they want," Shepard explained as he stepped out of the car.</p><p>"John— don't do that. Let's just go, eh," Kaidan pleaded.</p><p>"Relax, K. I think I know that vehicle," Shepard said with a shrug, "I'll be right back."</p><p>"John? John, at least put your shirt back on," Kaidan called out as he watched Shepard approach the strange car. "Stubborn!"</p><p>"Well, if it isn't John Shepard," a young Asian man said in an arrogant voice.</p><p>"Jin? What the hell do you want?" Shepard asked in annoyance.</p><p>"Is that any way to speak to your lover?" Jin asked in amusement.</p><p>"You ain't my lover," Shepard reminded the delusional man.</p><p>"Oh— and Alenko is?" Jin asked in an ominous tone.</p><p>"Are you spying on me?" Shepard asked in surprise.</p><p>"I would never—" Jin grinned, "You aren't very discreet— you're in his car, and you're practically half-naked— the evidence speaks for itself. But— I wonder what his parents would think if they knew their precious baby boy was out here in the middle of the DTES— slumming it up— with a half-illiterate thug."</p><p>"Stay away from Kaidan. His personal life ain't none of your business. Am I clear?" Shepard warned with an ominous tone to his voice.</p><p>"As long as he's sniffing around what's mine— then he's absolutely <b>my </b>business," Jin insisted.</p><p>"Are you insane? I ain't yours. I never was! There was nothing between us except sex— that's it," Shepard reminded the obsessed man.</p><p>"I won't accept that! You're mine until I say so. You don't get a say in the matter," Jin said in a dominating tone.</p><p>"You're out of your goddamn mind. I won't tell you again— stay away from Kaidan," Shepard warned one last time before turning to walk away.</p><p>"I wonder what your precious Kaidan would say if he knew you were in porn," Jin called out casually, causing Shepard to freeze as his blood ran cold.</p><p>"Is what he says possible? Could he have seen something like that?" Shepard asked aloud quietly.</p><p><em> 'I hate to say it— but, yeah— it's possible,' </em> the voice answered with remorse, <em> 'You went through a hell of a lot and were used by some pretty sick people. I'm sorry, but he might not be lying.' </em></p><p>"Goddammit," Shepard whispered as he turned his attention back towards Jin— </p><p>"What the fuck are you talking about?" Shepard asked anxiously.</p><p>"Oh, so now you're interested," Jin chuckled in amusement as Shepard walked back towards his car. </p><p>"Seriously, what the fuck are you talking about?" Shepard demanded.</p><p>"Not here. I'll text you a time and place to meet. We can discuss things then. In the meantime, you better get back to your little friend before he gets suspicious, eh," Jin suggested as he gave Shepard a dark grin.</p><p>Shepard said nothing— he just clenched his fist as he worked his jaw in anger.</p><p>"I'll see you soon, darling," Jin grinned as he blew a kiss at the blue-eyed blonde before pulling out of the empty lot— leaving Shepard standing alone in the dark.</p><p>"John, is everything okay?" Kaidan asked nervously— the concern for his lover apparent in his voice.</p><p>Shepard took a second to put on a fake smile before returning his attention to his beloved—</p><p>"I'm fine, babe. It was just some guy that won't leave me alone," Shepard admitted as he made his way back to the passenger's side door.</p><p>"Why does he keep bothering you?" Kaidan asked curiously.</p><p>"I dunno— we slept together a few times. It was nothing serious— just sex— no dating or anything like that," Shepard explained, "Anyway, he started getting really clinging— acting like he owned me and shit. So— I told him to fuck off. I've been ignoring him ever since, but he just shows up randomly and starts shit. He's an annoying little fuck, but don't worry— I'll take care of him."</p><p>"Can't you just ignore him?" Kaidan asked curiously.</p><p>"I dunno," Shepard shrugged. "He don't seem the type to give up on stuff. It don't matter, though. Either way, I'll take care of it. I won't let him mess with you, K— so don't worry about it, eh."</p><p>"Mess with me? Did he threaten me?" Kaidan asked nervously.</p><p><em> 'Way to go, big mouth,' </em>the voice scolded.</p><p>"Shit— K, please, trust me. He's all talk— he won't do nothin' stupid," Shepard insisted.</p><p>"What— exactly— did he say about me?" Kaidan asked anxiously.</p><p>"He threatened to tell your parents that you were screwing around with a piece of trash gutter kid from the DTES," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p><p>"You <b>aren't</b> trash," Kaidan insisted.</p><p>"Not the point, K," Shepard chuckled in amusement.</p><p>"I know— it just pissed me off that he said that about you," Kaidan explained.</p><p>"Thanks for— uh— defending me, but I ain't good enough for you, and Jin fucking knows it," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p><p>"Jin? Jin Leng?" Kaidan asked curiously.</p><p>"Yep. That's him. I figured you'd know him. Judging by the way he talked about you, it was obvious he knew <b>you</b>," Shepard replied with a nod.</p><p>"I had no idea he was gay," Kaidan admitted. "In fact, I think he has a fiancée."</p><p>"He might be bi— or in the fucking closet. Who knows— he likes to use people," Shepard explained, "I know that for a fact."</p><p>"Can I ask you a question?" Kaidan asked nervously.</p><p>"Sure," Shepard replied with a nod.</p><p>"Why did you sleep with him?" </p><p>"I wanted to fuck. He was there— and he was obviously interested— he ain't too bad to look at either, so— yeah, we fucked a few times," Shepard truthfully explained. "Does that bother you?"</p><p>"I'm not sure. I'm still processing it," Kaidan admitted truthfully.</p><p>"K, I know you hate the way I am when it comes to sex. The way I approach it so casually— it really bugs you, but that's the way I am. I've always been that way. I don't associate sex with love. How could I? I mean— love can make the sex better, but it ain't needed to enjoy sex. If you can't wrap your mind around that, and you feel like I'm dirty or something— then maybe you should tell me now," Shepard suggested.</p><p>"That's not what I meant," Kaidan said, shaking his head for emphasis. "Shepard— I'm a jealous guy. That's the truth. It's sad, I know— but whenever I think of anyone else with you, I get angry. I hate the thought of anyone else touching you. I know it's irrational, and I'm working on it. So, please, don't ever think you're dirty. I certainly don't think you are— if I did, I wouldn't be here with you now— would I?"</p><p>"I guess. I'm sorry. I'm just paranoid— forgive me, eh," Shepard begged as he kissed Kaidan's right hand.</p><p>"Don't worry about it," Kaidan smiled. "I just hope Jin keeps his mouth shut. I want to be the one to tell them."</p><p>"I swear to you, Kaidan, I won't let him out you— no matter what I have to do. I'll protect you, yeah," Shepard promised.</p><p>"John, promise me you won't do anything stupid," Kaidan pleaded.</p><p>"No promises," Shepard chuckled, "I'm about as stupid as they come."</p><p>"No, you aren't," Kaidan disagreed as he started the car. "I guess we should get home. I'll take you to your door."</p><p>"Nah, babe. You can just leave me at the corner. I can walk the rest of the way," Shepard insisted, not wanting to trouble his whisky-eyed lover.</p><p>"Are you sure? It's chilly out— I don't want you to catch a cold," Kaidan said with a concerned look on his handsome face.</p><p>"I'm sure," Shepard nodded. "I feel like walking. It clears my head, and right now, I need the air."</p><p>"Okay— I'll drop you off," Kaidan reluctantly agreed as he headed towards his destination.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>After an extremely long kiss, Shepard reluctantly said goodbye to his lover before making his way home. He made it about halfway when his phone began to buzz—</p><p>BUZZ— BUZZ— BUZZ—</p><p>Shepard sighed as he quickly checked his texts—</p><p>"A text from Jin— how nice," Shepard said sarcastically, as he slowly read the text—</p><p>– <b>Jin:</b>  "Meet me at the hotel by the club where we first met. Be there tonight at midnight— don't be late!" –</p><p>"What a smug son-of-a-bitch!? Goddamn asshole," Shepard snapped as he quickly texted the man back.</p><p>– <b>Shepard:  </b>"I can't come tonight. I'm tired as fuck— and there just ain't no goddamn way. Pick another night." –</p><p>– <b>Jin:  </b>"This isn't a negotiation! Come tonight— or I'll send the entire video to your precious little Kaidan. He'll see what a whore you are, first hand, and— well, do I really need to say more?" –</p><p>Shepard was becoming more-and-more frustrated with the man and his threats.</p><p>– <b>Shepard:  </b>"You're a goddamn liar. I ain't never done nothin' like that, so fuck you!" –</p><p>A few brief minutes later, Jin texted Shepard back— his sapphire-blue eyes going wide when he saw a small video attachment.</p><p>The young blonde stood frozen— too terrified to hit the play button— totally afraid of what he might see.</p><p><em> 'You'll never know whether or not he's lying unless you hit play,' </em>the voice admitted.</p><p>"Fuck it," Shepard whispered as he hit play, causing the video to come to life, and, sure enough— there on the tiny screen— was none other than Shepard— obviously high, and most certainly bound— brutally taking a stranger's cock down his throat.  The sight made Shepard's head spin— becoming nauseous as he watched the brief video clip end.</p><p>"I'm gonna be sick," Shepard mumbled as he immediately puked on the sidewalk.</p><p><em> 'I'm sorry, kid. I know you don't remember much about that night. And you sure as hell don't need to see that shit now. I'd like to know how the little fucker got such a thing,' </em> the voice said in an angry voice. <em> 'Look, you ain't gonna like what I gotta say, but— you should tell your dad— show him the video. Let him deal with the little shit.' </em></p><p>"I ain't showin' that shit to Daddy," Shepard replied anxiously. "I don't want him to see that shit. I don't want nobody to see it. I got no choice— if K sees this— he'll fucking hate me. I gotta try and make a deal with him."</p><p><em> 'Shepard, this fucker </em> <b> <em>cannot</em> </b> <em> be trusted— you </em> <b> <em>know</em> </b> <em> that,' </em>the voice scolded.</p><p>"I gotta try to fix this! If he sends this to anybody— I'm fucked," Shepard said with an air of panic in his voice.</p><p>– <b>Shepard:  </b>"I'll be there." –</p><p>Shepard quietly put his phone away as he slowly made his way home.</p><p>"I'm home," Shepard announced as he entered the house from the garage.</p><p>"John, dinner's ready. Come and eat something," Kahlee called out to her son.</p><p>"I already ate," Shepard lied, feeling too nauseous to eat anything. "I'm going to bed. I'm pretty tired."</p><p>"John— sweetheart— you have homework, remember," his mother reminded him.</p><p>"Ugh— I'll get it done," Shepard assured her as he made his way to his room.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>Shepard managed to finish all of his assignments before deciding to take a quick nap— He woke up just shy of midnight.</p><p>"Goddammit, I overslept," Shepard groaned as he rubbed his face hard. "I need to text Jin and tell him to pick me up at the corner."</p><p><em> 'Are you sure that's a good idea?' </em>The voice asked.</p><p>"What choice do I have? I can't fucking walk there, and my motorcycle's too goddamn loud— it'll wake my mom and dad," Shepard said as he grabbed his leather jacket.</p><p><em> 'True enough, I guess,' </em>the voice sighed.</p><p>Once Shepard received an answer, he walked to the corner and waited patiently for the obnoxious man.</p><p>Jin arrived a little before one—</p><p>"You should have texted me sooner if you needed a ride. This messes with my entire schedule," Jin bitched as Shepard buckled his seat belt.</p><p>"I fucking told you I was tired. I fell asleep," Shepard admitted.</p><p>"Maybe you wouldn't have been so tired if you and Alenko hadn't been fucking," Jin snapped as he drove in the direction of the hotel. </p><p>"It ain't none of your goddamn business, who I fuck," Shepard reminded the cocky man.</p><p>"Always so full of vinegar, aren't you," Jin grinned in amusement.</p><p>"Where'd you get that goddamn video?" Shepard asked anxiously.</p><p>"Wouldn't you like to know?" Jin teased as he continued to concentrate on the road.</p><p>"You could get into a fuck-ton of trouble, you know. I'm a goddamn minor in that video," Shepard explained, hoping Jin would see reason.</p><p>"I doubt anyone would believe that. I've seen the whole thing, and you certainly don't look like a minor in it," Jin laughed in amusement.</p><p>"Well, I was, you fucking cunt," Shepard growled.</p><p>"No reason for name-calling," Jin complained. "If you didn't want people watching it, you shouldn't have agreed to let people fuck you on camera."</p><p>"You don't know what the fuck you're talking about," Shepard yelled, causing the older man to jump slightly.</p><p>"Enlighten me," Jin instructed as he glanced towards the young blonde.</p><p>"Why bother? We both know— no matter what I say— you're still gonna use it to get what you want— because you're nothing but a selfish cunt," Shepard said with an angry look on his face.</p><p>"I see. I'm not a fool— I know what you're getting at. I guess that would explain the slight bondage in the film," Jin shrugged as he pulled into the hotel parking lot. "And you're absolutely correct— I don't give a fuck how the film got made. Hell, I don't even care about all the pain they inflicted upon you. In fact, I think it helped give you your fire."</p><p>"You're fuckin' sick," Shepard said, shaking his head in disgust.</p><p>"Well, come along," Jin insisted.</p><p>"Why can't we talk in the car?" Shepard asked nervously.</p><p>"Because I want to talk in the hotel room," Jin demanded as he opened the passenger's side door for Shepard.</p><p>"Fine," Shepard sighed as he followed the older man to the room.</p><p>Once they were inside, Jin immediately locked the door behind them.</p><p>"Please, make yourself comfortable," Jin said as he pulled off his long coat— hanging it on the nearby coat rack.</p><p>"I'm good. Look, I ain't got all night— so, talk," Shepard demanded.</p><p>"Always in such a rush. It isn't good for your heart," Jin warned as he took a seat beside Shepard.</p><p>"Shut up," Shepard said as he bounced his knee nervously. "Look, just tell me what you want. What's it gonna take for you to erase that goddamn video?"</p><p>"Oh, nothing much— just one more night with me. That wouldn't be so bad, would it?" Jin asked with a pout.</p><p>Shepard's brow furrowed in thought before he finally decided—</p><p>Shepard said nothing as he quickly started to remove his clothing.</p><p>"Not now, silly boy," Jin chuckled. "This weekend— it'll give me enough time to set everything up," Jin said, causing Shepard to stare in confusion.</p><p>"What do you mean? What are you setting up?" Shepard asked anxiously.</p><p>"The re-creation, of course," Jin laughed in amusement.</p><p>"The what?" Shepard asked in confusion.</p><p>"Since I first watched your video, I haven't been able to get you out of my head. The way you take the pain— it's unreal. And the way you fuck— even when struggling against your bonds— it gets me hard just thinking about it. So, I called up a friend. He's agreed to join us this weekend— and he's agreed to bring the drug of your choice— fentanyl was your favourite, if I recall, correctly. I've even picked out a cheap hotel to match the video— the Paradise Hotel— if I'm not mistaken. Of course, your bonds will be padded. I'm not a total monster," Jin insisted.</p><p>"Are you fucking serious?" Shepard asked in disbelief. "You think I'm gonna recreate that night. They <b>raped </b>me, you goddamn twat! Fuck you!"</p><p>"You loved every goddamn minute of it! I could see it in your eyes. You did every dirty little thing they asked of you, and you did it without complaint. Hell, you even came," Jin reminded the blue-eyed blonde.</p><p>"What's your goddamn point? I was a scared kid— and to top it all off, they fucking drugged me, but you already knew that. Tell me, Jin— how the fuck did you know all that? You even knew what drug they used. That's impossible— unless you know somebody that was there," Shepard said— his mind going in a million different directions.</p><p>"Relax, Shepard," Jin chuckled, "You can ease up on the paranoia. I read the police report. I managed to get access to your files. Once I saw the video, it was easy to pinpoint the details."</p><p>"How the hell did you manage that?" Shepard asked in annoyance.</p><p>"Now, Shepard— you know I would never give away my source, especially not when your dear old daddy is part of the police force," Jin grinned.</p><p>"Did you get the video from the police files?" Shepard asked nervously.</p><p>"I did. They had filed it digitally— but with my contact's information, it was quite easy to view all of the evidence— the video included," Jin admitted. "It must have been horrible for your father— seeing as he was the one that had to examine and file the video."</p><p>By this point, Jin was doing everything in his power to upset Shepard— and as much as Shepard hated to admit it— Jin's plan was working.</p><p>"Look, Shepard— just give me this one night, and I swear I'll erase the video," Jin promised.</p><p>"No way— I ain't doing that. You can go to hell, 'cause that ain't happening— not ever again," Shepard replied adamantly.</p><p>"You are so goddamn stubborn," Jin said in annoyance. "If you don't reconsider, you're going to lose everything, including your precious Kaidan."</p><p>Shepard's brow furrowed in contemplation.</p><p>"I need to use the washroom," Shepard mumbled.</p><p>"Go ahead, but I expect your answer when you get back," Jin grinned as he lit a cigarette.</p><p>"Oh, you'll get it, don't worry," Shepard promised as he made his way to the washroom.</p><p>Once Shepard was in the washroom, he immediately retrieved his phone from his pocket, making sure to hit the stop button on the phone's audio recorder.</p><p><em> 'You know, sometimes you surprise the hell out of me. That was goddamn brilliant! Hopefully, everything recorded properly, so you can nail his ass to the wall,' </em>the voice said proudly.</p><p>"Hopefully— here goes nothing—"</p><p>Shepard took a deep breath as he replayed a section of the conversation—</p><p>Once he was satisfied the recorder had done its job,  Shepard immediately called his father—</p><p>"Anderson, here," David's voice was groggy with sleep, and Shepard immediately felt guilty for waking him up.</p><p>"Daddy, I need you to listen to the audio file I'm sending you, but not around Mom. It's pretty self-explanatory, so— once you get it— I need you to come, get me." Shepard replied quickly.</p><p>"Shepard? Son, where the hell are you? What are you talking about?" Anderson asked in confusion.</p><p>"I'm at a hotel. I'm texting you the address. I'm sorry for causing you so much trouble, but I don't know what else to do. I feel like I'm fucked no matter what I do. I'm trying to fix it, Daddy— but I don't know if I can. I love you." </p><p>Anderson could hear the click of Shepard ending the call. "Son— Son, are you there? Goddammit," Anderson got dressed as quickly as possible before moving to exit the bedroom.</p><p>"David, where are you going?" Kahlee asked with a yawn.</p><p>"I got an emergency call. It shouldn't take too long. Go back to sleep, sweetheart," Anderson insisted as he left the house—</p><p>Shepard finally exited the washroom— his heart racing as his anxiety skyrocketed.</p><p>"It's about time. So— what's your answer," Jin asked with a smirk.</p><p>"My answer stands. I ain't letting you do that to me. It ain't happening," Shepard replied seriously.</p><p> "I hope you kissed your little boyfriend goodbye, 'cause come tomorrow— he's never gonna want you again," Jin grinned as he pressed a button on his phone.</p><p>"You know, you need some fucking help. You're sick in the goddamn head. And if you don't delete that goddamn video, right now, I am gonna fucking end you," Shepard warned.</p><p>"You won't touch me. You fucking know better," Jin insisted with a cocky smirk.</p><p>"I won't have to touch you— I have a phone too, and it records audio— just like any other smartphone. In fact, the sound quality is pretty damn good. I don't think my dad will have much trouble understanding it," Shepard explained, "So— I'll ask you one last time— delete that goddamn video."</p><p>"You're bluffing," Jin said in an annoyed tone.</p><p>"Try me," Shepard challenged the cocky man as he played a short clip of the recorded audio.</p><p>"Fine— you win, Shepard. I'll delete it. But this isn't over. I'll still have you," Jin insisted.</p><p>"Seriously? You have got to be fucking kidding me. Let me make this perfectly clear— if you don't stay the fuck away from me, I'm gonna make damn sure you rot in jail." Shepard promised in a tone that told Jin he wasn't kidding.</p><p>"Fine— No one's worth this much trouble," Jin agreed as Shepard watched him delete the video. </p><p>"I swear to god if that video ever resurfaces— I'll make your life a living hell. So, if you made copies, you better damn well delete those as well," Shepard warned.</p><p>"Consider it done," Jin promised as a knock on the door caught his attention.</p><p>"Is that you, Dad?" Shepard called out.</p><p>"Yeah, Son— it's me," Anderson called out from behind the door.</p><p>"Who's your source? I know it's a cop— so who is it? If you don't tell me, my father's going to arrest your ass— and there ain't a damn thing I can do about it," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p><p>"But you promised—" Jin's words were cut off by Shepard.</p><p>"I fucking lied. I ain't got no control over what the law does. You shouldn't have tried to blackmail me, you dumb cunt. I might be able to get you out of this, but you'll have to give up your source," Shepard suggested.</p><p>"Son, open the door," Anderson insisted.</p><p>"You got thirty seconds," Shepard said as he made his way to the door.</p><p>"It was a cop named Harkin," Jin yelled out. "He sells info on a dark website. I can give you the URL."</p><p>"That might just save your ass," Shepard said as he quickly unlocked the door for his father.</p><p>"Hey, Daddy," Shepard whispered as Anderson hugged him tightly.</p><p>"Are you alright?" Anderson asked in concern for his son.</p><p>"I'm fine," Shepard assured his father. "He deleted the video. I promised I wouldn't press any charges."</p><p>"Son, that isn't up to you. He has information that's—" Anderson's words were cut short by Jin.</p><p>"It was Harkin! I have the URL. Shepard can explain everything," Jin pleaded.</p><p>"Harkin—" Anderson repeated the name, totally unsurprised by the revelation.</p><p>"See, Daddy— he can be an anonymous source or something. Can you please let him go?" Shepard asked, not wanting to break his word.</p><p>"Why are you helping him? He was willing to hurt you for his own twisted pleasure. He's sick," Anderson said, confused by his son's actions.</p><p>"It was the only way to get him to delete that goddamn video. I gave my word, Daddy. Please, don't make me break it," Shepard pleaded.</p><p>Anderson sighed hard before making his decision—</p><p>"You're free to go— but if you ever come near my son again, I'll nail your ass to the wall. Am I clear?" Anderson asked in a menacing tone.</p><p>"Crystal, Sir. I'll just be on my way," Jin insisted as he left the room in haste.</p><p>"Son, what video? I'm lost," Anderson admitted as he rubbed his son's back gently.</p><p>"The one from the night we first met. I couldn't remember anything— but when I saw that video, pieces came rushing back— like a drunken fog. I couldn't stand the thought of anybody else seeing it, so— I threatened his ass," Shepard explained in a far off voice, "I'm sorry, Daddy."</p><p>"Did he send it to you?" Anderson asked, feeling sick to his stomach.</p><p>"Yeah, just a small clip, though," Shepard admitted with a shrug, "I deleted it. I'm sorry if that was wrong of me."</p><p>"It's alright, Son. Harkin's gonna pay for this. I promise," Anderson assured his son as he rubbed his back gently.</p><p>"Daddy— I think the bastard sent something to Kaidan. He was playing with his phone when he told me that Kaidan wouldn't want me no more. Do you think he'll hate me— if he sees— I mean?" Shepard asked with a sad look on his face.</p><p>"No, Son— he won't hate you. We'll just have to explain what happened. Kaidan will understand," Anderson promised.</p><p>"I think I'd rather have him hate me than know the truth about me," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p><p>"You don't mean that," David insisted. </p><p>"I kinda do, though," Shepard whispered as he walked towards the door, staggering— slightly— as he exited the room.</p><p>"Whoa, Son! Are you alright?" Anderson asked as he steadied his son.</p><p>"I'm dizzy," Shepard admitted as he leaned against his father's chest. </p><p>"Do you want to sit down?" Anderson asked in concern.</p><p>"No— I'm tired. I just wanna go home," Shepard replied as he allowed his father to help him to the car.</p><p>On the way home, Anderson made sure to keep an eye on his son— looking for any signs of distress. And once they were home, Anderson— noticing how exhausted his son appeared— decided to help him to his room—</p><p>"Do you need any help getting undressed?" David asked quietly.</p><p>"Nah. I think I got it. Thanks. I love you, Daddy," Shepard said as he peeled off his shirt.</p><p>"I'm proud of you, Son," Anderson said with a smile.</p><p>"Thank you, Daddy," Shepard whispered as he removed the rest of his clothing before climbing into bed.</p><p>Anderson covered his son with a blanket before kissing him on the cheek. "I love you, Son," David whispered before turning out the light and exiting the room, closing the door behind him as he left.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next Chapter:  Shepard becomes very popular—</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0030"><h2>30. Popular</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Shepard becomes very popular and he finally meets Kaidan's parents—</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next morning, Shepard tried texting Kaidan several times— but to no avail. Shepard couldn't help but feel a growing sense of dread with every moment that passed.</p><p>Once the blue-eyed teen was ready, he headed off for school. Deciding to take his bike to avoid being late, Shepard arrived on campus in record time.</p><p>The minute he got there, Shepard tried desperately to find his whisky-eyed lover—</p><p>"Hey, Joker— have you or Edi seen Kaidan around anywhere?" Shepard asked curiously.</p><p>"Yeah. He gave us a ride this morning. He was talking to Garrus and James earlier. You might wanna see if he's still there," Joker replied as he took a drink of his coffee.</p><p>"I will. Thanks," Shepard nodded as he started to make his way inside.</p><p>"Shepard," Edi called out, causing Shepard to look her way.</p><p>"Yeah?"</p><p>"We're having a party at my house tomorrow night. You're welcome to attend," Edi invited him with a smile.</p><p>"Thanks. I'll think about it," Shepard said with a halfhearted smile before disappearing behind the door.</p><p>"Oh, man— are you sure it's a good idea— inviting him like that? There's obviously something going on between Kaidan and him," Joker reminded his girlfriend.</p><p>"I believe they are lovers," Edi grinned.</p><p>"Uh— not what I meant. I mean— I think it's obvious that they're into each other— but it seems like they're having problems. Is it really a good idea to have them both in the same place— especially if they're fighting. I mean, do we really need that drama," Joker asked.</p><p>"You worry too much, Jeff," Edi teased just as the bell rang out, signalling the start of a new school day.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>The rest of the day went by, and every time Shepard got close to Kaidan, something would prevent them from actually speaking to each other. The lack of communication was driving Shepard insane. He soon realized that the lunch period would be his last chance before practice—</p><p>"Hey, Garrus. James," Shepard nodded as he sat down next to his friends. "Have you seen Kaidan?"</p><p>"Yeah. He's over there," James said as he pointed to the table on the far side of the room. "He's eating with Rahna, Tali, and Liara."</p><p>"Why aren't they eating here?" Shepard asked in confusion.</p><p>"They're talking about what to wear to Edi's party Saturday," Garrus explained. "Why Kaidan felt the need to sit with them is beyond me. Did you guys have a fight?" </p><p>"No— not that I know of. I don't know what the hell's going on," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p><p>"Well, try not to think about it. We have practise coming up, and we need you sharp," Garrus insisted.</p><p>"Yeah. Don't worry— I'm good to go," Shepard assured his friend as he picked at his food.</p><p>"Loco, you gotta start eating more. Your gear is starting to look a bit too large on you," James said, a look of concern on his handsome face.</p><p>"Thanks so much for worrying about my aesthetics, James," Shepard said sarcastically.</p><p>"Jimmy has a point. Your complexion is off too. You look like a fucking ghost," Garrus said, hoping his friend would take better care of himself.</p><p>"As long as I'm doing my goddamn job, you guys ain't got the right to bitch. Bitch at me when I fuck up— until then, leave me the fuck alone," Shepard growled as he unceremoniously left the cafeteria.</p><p>"What the hell was that about?" James asked in confusion.</p><p>"I have no idea," Garrus said as he continued to stare at the door.</p><p>"Let's hope he ain't grouchy during practice. I don't think Jake will survive it," James joked as they finished their lunch.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>The rest of the day passed fairly quickly and— before Shepard knew it— their practice was over—</p><p>"Good practice, Shepard," Garrus praised. "I really think Jake and his boys are starting to improve."</p><p>"Yeah. Let's hope they keep it up," Shepard said as he held the door open for Garrus and James.</p><p>"They'd better! We're close to the finals— if they blow it, I'll kick their asses myself," James promised with a grin.</p><p>"So, is Kaidan picking you up," Garrus asked, curiously, as he looked around the parking lot.</p><p>"I guess not," Shepard said with a sad look in his sapphire eyes.</p><p>"You need a ride, Loco?" James asked quietly.</p><p>"Nah, I brought my bike," Shepard said as he motioned towards his motorcycle.</p><p>"Well, we'll see you at the party, eh," Garrus said as he got into his car— with James taking the passenger's seat.</p><p>"Maybe," Shepard mumbled as he waved goodbye to his friends.</p><p>Shepard sighed hard before making his way over to his bike.</p><p>"I guess I'll head home," Shepard whispered to himself as he started his motorcycle.</p><p><em> 'What the hell's going on with Kaidan?' </em>The voice asked in an angry tone.</p><p>"We know what's going on. Jin sent him that goddamn video. Now, he thinks I'm fucking trash and don't want me no more. It ain't that goddamn hard to figure out," Shepard explained aloud, his voice cracking as he spoke.</p><p><em> 'He should at least have the balls to talk to you about it,' </em>the voice insisted.</p><p>"I probably made him sick," Shepard said with a bitter laugh as he pulled out of the parking lot before heading home—</p><p>Shepard made it home fairly quickly, much to the surprise of his mother.</p><p>"John, what are you doing home so early?" Kahlee asked curiously.</p><p>"I'm tired, and I got some homework to do. So— I figured I'd come straight home," Shepard explained.</p><p>"Do you want anything to eat?" Kahlee asked as she continued to prep for dinner.</p><p>"Nah. I'll just wait for dinner," Shepard replied as he made his way to the bedroom.</p><p>Once Shepard was alone inside of his room, he quickly collapsed onto the bed.</p><p>"I'm so goddamn tired," Shepard admitted as he texted Kaidan once more.</p><p>– <b>Shepard:  </b>"K, please, at least tell me what I did wrong. The silent treatment ain't exactly fair. Please— talk to me." –</p><p>Shepard waited for over an hour— but still received no response from his lover.</p><p>"Fuck my life. I don't even know why I fucking bother," Shepard said as he curled onto his side.</p><p>
  <b>KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK—</b>
</p><p>"John, sweetheart, it's time for dinner," Kahlee announced from behind the door.</p><p>"I ain't hungry," Shepard replied truthfully.</p><p>"John, don't do this. You need to eat something," Kahlee insisted, causing Shepard to rub his face hard in annoyance.</p><p>"I'll be there in a second," Shepard said as he finally forced himself to move.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>Shepard quietly took his place next to his father at the table.</p><p>"Well, this is a welcome surprise," Anderson grinned, "It's rare to have the entire family present for dinner."</p><p>"Mommy, do I have to eat that," Hailey asked as she pointed at the odd-looking salad her mother had placed on the table.</p><p>"Hailey, if you try it, you might like it," Kahlee insisted.</p><p>"I'll pass," Hailey insisted as Kahlee shook her head in amusement.</p><p>"It's a lentil salad, baby girl. And it actually tastes quite delicious," Anderson said, hoping to sway his daughter.</p><p>"Nope— I'll have the fried chicken," Hailey insisted as she pushed the salad closer to her brother.</p><p>"I take it, the salad is mine," Shepard surmised as he put a serving on his plate.</p><p>"It is," Kahlee admitted as she served up the rest of the food.</p><p>Shepard ate a little over half when he asked to be dismissed.</p><p>"Son, can you at least try to finish your dinner," Anderson pleaded.</p><p>"I'm full. Really, I am," Shepard insisted.</p><p>"Okay. You can go to your room," Kahlee said, knowing that arguing with her son would serve no purpose.</p><p>Once Shepard disappeared behind the door, Kahlee immediately voiced her concerns—</p><p>"David, something isn't right with John. He's not eating well, and he's losing way too much weight," Kahlee insisted.</p><p>"I agree, but he's stubborn. I'll try to get him to see a doctor, but I make no promises," Anderson said as he continued to eat his dinner.</p><p>"I hope you can convince him. He's scaring the hell out of me," Kahlee admitted truthfully.</p><p>"I'll see what I can do," Anderson promised.</p><p>Meanwhile, in Shepard's bedroom— exhausted from the day— the young blonde decided to turn in early, dreading what tomorrow would bring—</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The following day—</b>
</p><p>Shepard had slept for well over half the day and didn't stir until the relentless buzzing of his phone finally brought him out of his slumber.</p><p>"Yeah," Shepard groaned as he brought the phone to his ear.</p><p>"Are you <b>still</b> sleeping?" Garrus asked in amusement.</p><p>"Yeah. Did you want something?" Shepard asked as he rubbed his face.</p><p>"I want you to get your ass out of bed and get ready. I'm coming to pick you up. We're going to Edi's party," Garrus explained.</p><p>"I don't feel like it," Shepard admitted.</p><p>"I'm not taking no for an answer," Garrus insisted.</p><p>"I ain't going! I don't feel like being around nobody today," Shepard said in annoyance.</p><p><em> 'Maybe you should go. It'll get you out of the house. Besides, if you don't go, your mom is gonna worry, and I know how much you hate it when she worries,' </em>the voice reminded the blue-eyed teen.</p><p>"Shepard— you're going— even if I have to drag you," Garrus insisted.</p><p>"Fine," Shepard agreed with a sigh. "I'll be waiting outside."</p><p>"Excellent! I'll be there in ten," Garrus said as he ended the call.</p><p>"I fucking hate this," Shepard whispered as he quickly changed his clothes.</p><p><em> 'Aren't you gonna shower?' </em>The voice asked in confusion.</p><p>"I ain't got the time. And I don't really give a fuck right now," Shepard said with a shrug as he grabbed his hoodie.</p><p><em> 'You aren't wearing your leather jacket?' </em> The voice asked.</p><p>"Nope. I ain't staying long. I'm only going so Garrus will shut the hell up," Shepard admitted.</p><p>
  <em> '<b>Sigh— </b> Fair enough— I guess.' </em>
</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>True to his word, Garrus arrived ten minutes later, and within the hour, they safely arrived at Edi's—</p><p>"Goddamn— her family's rich, huh?" Shepard asked in amusement.</p><p>"Yep. They may even have more money than the Alenko's," Garrus said as he shut the car door.</p><p>"Kaidan's house is big, but this is borderline obnoxious," James said as he got out of the car.</p><p>"I agree with James. I don't think I'll go in. I obviously don't belong here," Shepard explained as he leaned against Garrus's car.</p><p>"Don't be like that— Edi's cool," Garrus assured his anxious friend.</p><p>"Yeah— it's her sister you have to avoid," James informed his friend.</p><p>"Edi has a sister?" Shepard asked curiously.</p><p>"Yep—" James replied as Garrus cut him off mid-sentence.</p><p>"Don't listen to Jimmy. She's probably not even here. She and Edi aren't close. They don't even go to the same school. You have nothing to worry about, Shepard," Garrus insisted as he slapped James on the back of the head.</p><p>"Ow! Asshole," James whined, as a familiar voice caught his attention.</p><p>"Yo, Muscles," Jack called out as she ran and jumped into his arms, wrapping her legs tightly around his waist. </p><p>"Hey, babe," James grinned as he kissed his girlfriend in greeting.</p><p>"Hey," Jack grinned before turning her attention to her melancholic friend, "Hey, Shepard. You look like shit. Are you feeling okay?"</p><p>"Nice to see you too, Jack," Shepard said in a tired voice. "I'm fine."</p><p>"Uh-huh," Jack said skeptically.</p><p>"I'm gonna go find a beer," Shepard said as he walked away from his friends.</p><p>"What's up with, Shepard?" Jack asked in concern for her friend.</p><p>"I think he's being ghosted by Kaidan," James admitted truthfully.</p><p>"Why? Did Shepard do something to offend his delicate senses? I swear— rich people never change," Jack said in disappointment.</p><p>"We don't know what happened. Shepard's not exactly an open book," Garrus explained honestly.</p><p>"I'll check in on him later, but now— let's party," Jack suggested as they made their way into the house.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>Shepard found himself in the kitchen— sitting on the counter, and that's where he remained— spending the next thirty minutes drinking alone— when, finally, Kaidan entered the kitchen with Liara by his side.</p><p>Shepard said nothing— he just sipped his beer as he continued to glance at the whisky-eyed brunette.</p><p>Kaidan adamantly avoided Shepard's gaze as Liara asked him for two beers.</p><p>Shepard remained quiet as he handed them each a beer. His heart clenched in pain as Kaidan walked away without a word.</p><p>"Thank you, Shepard," Liara said with a sad tone to her voice.</p><p>Shepard just nodded as he grabbed another beer before jumping down from the counter and heading out the door to the backyard.</p><p>Liara sighed as she quickly made her way back to Kaidan—</p><p>"Kaidan, that was very rude! I don't know what happened between you, but treating Shepard like a stranger is not the best way to handle it," Liara scolded her friend.</p><p>"I don't know what to say, Liara," Kaidan admitted as he took a drink of his beer.</p><p>"Kaidan, what happened? Maybe I could help if I just understood the situation a bit better. Did he do something to hurt you? Did he cheat?" Liara asked curiously.</p><p>"NO! It's nothing like that. I can't tell you what's wrong, because it's not my place to tell. Let's just say that something bad happened, and I'm not sure how to handle it. I don't know what to say. If I say the wrong thing— I'll end up hurting him, and he's been hurt enough," Kaidan explained nervously.</p><p>"Don't you think that, maybe, this hurts worse? The look on his face when you refused to even look at him— it was heartbreaking," Liara spoke sadly.</p><p>"What do I do, Liara? I would never forgive myself if I said something to hurt him or if I ended up dredging up memories that were better off dead and buried. I'm just not sure how to handle it without doing more harm than good. So— avoiding him just seems like the best option," Kaidan explained anxiously.</p><p>"Kaidan, trust me— avoiding him is <b>not</b> the best way to handle this," Liara insisted.</p><p>Kaidan contemplated his friend's words before making his decision—</p><p>"You're right, Liara. I need to talk to him. I need to know the truth of it anyway— for my own sanity," Kaidan replied in a determined tone as he made his way towards the kitchen.</p><p>"Kaidan," Liara called out, "He headed outside the last I saw him. So— if he's not in the kitchen, you might want to try outside."</p><p>"Thanks, Liara," Kaidan said with an appreciative smile.</p><p>Liara just smiled as she watched her friend exit the crowded room.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>The moment Kaidan realized that Shepard was no longer in the kitchen— he took to the backyard, asking everyone he saw if they had seen the blue-eyed blonde.</p><p>He was just about to give up when he noticed a lone figure, sitting under a tree, far away from the other partygoers—</p><p>Kaidan took his time, dreading the inevitable conversation— hoping it wouldn't be the end of them as a couple.</p><p>"Hey," Kaidan softly whispered— upon getting no response from the young blonde, Kaiden decided to get a little closer.</p><p>As Kaidan stepped closer, he could hear the faint sound of music.</p><p>"He has his earbuds in," Kaidan smiled as he slowly knelt beside his beloved.</p><p>"John," Kaidan whispered as he touched Shepard's shoulder, causing the young man to jump in surprise. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you."</p><p>"Kaidan," Shepard exclaimed in shock as he quickly wiped his eyes.</p><p>'He's been crying,' Kaidan thought as his brow furrowed in sadness.</p><p>"Did you need something?" Shepard asked nervously.</p><p>"No. I just wanted to talk to you— if that's alright," Kaidan asked as he sat down next to his love.</p><p>"It's fine, K— I—I mean, Kaidan," Shepard corrected himself, and it broke Kaidan's heart when he did.</p><p>"You can call me K," Kaidan whispered.</p><p>"That's kind of you— but you don't gotta say nothin'. I know that Jin sent you a video, and I know it was about me. So— it's okay. I got the picture. I ain't mad. I understand, so— go and enjoy the party, eh," Shepard said as he faked a smile. "I'll be fine."</p><p>"John, I'm sorry for ignoring you, but I didn't know what else to do," Kaidan said as he struggled to explain.</p><p>"Kaidan— I get it. You don't want me no more. And I don't blame you. So, let's just forget it," Shepard suggested in a sad tone.</p><p>"No— you don't understand. I need you to hear me out. Please, baby— hear me out," Kaidan pleaded.</p><p>Shepard's heart skipped at the affectionate term— as he nodded in agreement.</p><p>"Good. Uh— this is hard. How do I explain it?" Kaidan asked himself nervously.</p><p>"Just say whatever you're thinking. I promise to be truthful with you," Shepard said as he continued to watch his beloved.</p><p>"Why? Why did you— I mean, it didn't even look like you were enjoying it. Did you need money? Were you on drugs? Just help me understand why you'd allow people to treat you that way. And why on Earth did you let them film it?" Kaidan asked, struggling hard to understand the situation.</p><p>Shepard closed his sad blue eyes as he tried to find the words—</p><p>"I didn't enjoy it— and I didn't <b>let</b> them," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p><p>Kaidan's eyes went wide in shock. "You were— Who? Who did that to you!?"</p><p>"Kaidan, please, calm down. It was a long time ago. Hell, I couldn't even remember much of it— until I saw that video," Shepard explained.</p><p>"You <b>saw</b> it. That bastard sent it to you," Kaidan asked in disgust.</p><p>"Yeah. I didn't believe him when he said he had a video of me. Boy, did he prove me wrong," Shepard laughed bitterly.</p><p>"Where did he get it?" Kaidan asked anxiously.</p><p>"He got into my case records. Apparently, the video was logged into the police database," Shepard explained nervously.</p><p>"He hacked the police records," Kaidan asked in disbelief.</p><p>"Not exactly. A crooked cop gave him the info. Daddy took care of it, but not before Jin downloaded the video," Shepard admitted.</p><p>"What are you going to do?" Kaidan asked curiously.</p><p>"Don't worry, Kaidan. I had Jin delete it. He won't bother me no more. And he definitely won't bother you," Shepard assured his love.</p><p>"Are you sure?" Kaidan asked skeptically.</p><p>"I'm sure. I never wanted you to see that video. Jin sent it before I could stop him," Shepard explained in an apologetic tone.</p><p>"I'll be honest— I'm afraid to speak— afraid I'll say something to hurt you. And I'm even more terrified to touch you. I'm so afraid it's going to bring back some horrible memory for you, and I, honestly, don't know how to handle that," Kaidan admitted.</p><p>"How much did you see?" Shepard asked, dreading the answer.</p><p>"Honestly— not much. I was in shock, so I guess it played for about thirty seconds or so, but that was enough. I could tell something was wrong. You looked— wrong. And I knew, deep down, what I was watching, but I was, honestly, hoping I was wrong— that, maybe, you had made a horrible mistake and that it was consensual. The alternative— even though I knew it was true— it broke my heart, and I didn't know how to process that. I know I'm rambling— forgive me," Kaidan replied anxiously.</p><p>"I'm sorry you had to see that," Shepard apologized, "You should never have been subjected to that."</p><p>"John, why are you apologizing? You were the one that was hurt, not me. It was selfish of me to avoid you. I thought I was doing it to spare you from any unnecessary harm, but thinking on it now— I was protecting myself. I didn't want to think about it. I wanted to pretend like nothing had happened— that you were never truly hurt by anyone, but every time I saw you— I couldn't. I couldn't pretend that nothing happened. Can you forgive me, honey?" Kaidan pleaded to his love.</p><p>"There ain't nothin' to forgive," Shepard smiled, his face full of sadness as he spoke, "K, baby— I love you— but things can never work between us when you can't even look at me."</p><p>"John, please, give me a chance to show you that I <b>can</b>. I made a mistake by avoiding you— I admit that, but I don't want to lose you. I love you," Kaidan admitted truthfully.</p><p>"I don't wanna lose you, either. But I can't stand pity, K. So, please, don't look at me with pity. I can't take it," Shepard warned.</p><p>"I understand. But you gotta promise me something," Kaidan insisted.</p><p>"Sure," Shepard nodded.</p><p>"If you ever need to stop when we're— <b>together</b>— if you ever feel wrong, please, tell me to stop. Can you promise me that?" Kaidan asked seriously.</p><p>"I promise," Shepard smiled as he kissed his lover softly.</p><p>Kaidan smiled as their lips parted. "Are we good?"</p><p>"We're good," Shepard chuckled as he kissed his lover once more before a sudden flash caught their attention.</p><p>"What the hell?" Kaidan asked as he struggled to focus his eyes.</p><p>"Edi?" Shepard asked in confusion.</p><p>"Don't mind me. I'm just getting some photos— for posterity. Memories are precious after all," the young woman smirked as she made her way back towards the house.</p><p>"That was fuckin' weird," Shepard said, cocking his brow in confusion.</p><p>"Ignore her. That wasn't even Edi," Kaidan replied, causing Shepard to stare at him in utter confusion.</p><p>Upon seeing his lover's face, Kaidan couldn't help but laugh. "That was Eva— Edi's twin sister. It was hard to tell in the dark, but Eva's hair is brown, and her eyes are dark. Other than that, they're pretty much identical."</p><p>"Hn. I guess. We got a game tomorrow. It's against a high ranking team. Are you coming to watch?" Shepard asked nervously.</p><p>"I'll be there. Don't worry," Kaidan promised as he took his lover's hand. "Do you wanna go get something to eat? This party is giving me a headache."</p><p>"Is it a migraine," Shepard asked in concern.</p><p>"Maybe. I'll be fine, though. Let's go eat, eh," Kaidan insisted as he helped Shepard to his feet.</p><p>"Sure," Shepard grinned as he let Kaidan lead him to the car.</p><p>Eva watched the two lovers closely, taking a few more photos before watching them disappear into the night.</p><p>"What are you doing?" Edi asked in an aggravated tone.</p><p>"Relax, dear sister. I'm just observing. It's not every day you see the Captain of the hockey team out with another guy. It's absolutely scandalous," Eva grinned, wickedly, as she walked past her sister.</p><p>"Eva, I don't know what you're planning, but I want you to stop. They've done nothing to you. So, please, leave them be," Edi pleaded, hoping her sister would listen.</p><p>"Don't worry. Shepard doesn't interest me— not yet anyway," Eva admitted as she made her way into the house, leaving Edi standing alone in the dark.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Three days later—</b>
</p><p>"Shepard's really shining tonight, huh," Jack grinned as she watched Shepard score another goal.</p><p>"He's been impressive all night. Pretty goddamn good, considering he's weaker than usual," Zaeed admitted as he continued to watch the game.</p><p>"Yeah. I noticed that too. I have no idea where he gets his energy. He's like a demon on the ice," Jack said with an amused laugh.</p><p>"That's— exactly— what he is. They're going to want to interview him after the game— live on television. I hope he doesn't curse," Zaeed grinned as Shepard came in from his shift. "Do you want to tell him about the interview, or should I?"</p><p>"He's all yours," Jack chuckled as she motioned towards the blue-eyed teen.</p><p>"Yeah— I thought you'd say that," Zaeed said as he moved to speak to his star player—</p><p>"Damn good playing, Shepard," Zaeed praised as Shepard thanked him in return. "After the game, they're going to want to interview you. It's nothing weird, just some talk about the game."</p><p>"Seriously?" Shepard asked in disbelief as he took a drink of his water. "I ain't good with words, and I cuss like a motherfucker. Is it really a good idea to have me on camera?"</p><p>"You'll do fine. Just answer their questions. Be sure to take your time, that way, you can choose your words wisely," Zaeed suggested.</p><p>"Then they'll think I'm a goddamn idiot," Shepard said with a disapproving frown.</p><p>"Point taken. Fuck it— they can edit it later. Just be yourself, Shepard," Zaeed insisted. "There's one more thing, and it's very goddamn important. There's a couple of NHL scouts that want to have dinner with you tonight. I've already made the arrangements, and your parents will be there as well. So, if you have any plans— cancel them."</p><p>"Are you serious— NHL scouts? And they're interested in me? Do they know anything about me?" Shepard asked in utter surprise.</p><p>"They know you're a damn good hockey player. That's all they need to know. So, you'll be there for dinner, right?" Zaeed asked, already knowing the young man's answer.</p><p>"Yeah. I'll be there," Shepard grinned as he got ready to take the ice. </p><p>"Good. Give 'em hell, Shepard," Zaeed grinned as Shepard took his place on the ice.</p><p>The rest of the game went on without a hitch, and the Renegades dominated the competition with Shepard leading the way.</p><p>Shepard was caught by the press before he even made it to the locker room, and despite his nervousness, gave an excellent post-game interview.</p><p>As soon as his shower was over— after saying goodbye to his team, Shepard took his gear and made his way outside.</p><p>Upon exiting the building, Shepard could see his parents standing with three strangers whom Shepard assumed to be scouts. As he glanced further out, he saw his boyfriend waiting patiently beside his car.</p><p><em> 'What are you gonna say to Kaidan?' </em>The voice asked curiously.</p><p>"I'm gonna tell him the truth. K will understand," Shepard said as he made his way towards his lover.</p><p>"Hey, babe. You were great tonight," Kaidan started to lean into Shepard when the blue-eyed teen quickly held his hand up, signalling for him to stop as he nodded towards the men standing with Shepard's mom and dad. "Who are they?"</p><p>"Scouts," Shepard answered truthfully. "I gotta go have dinner with them. Do you wanna come along?"</p><p>"I better not. I don't want to ruin things for you," Kaidan admitted.</p><p>"I fucking hate this. I mean, seriously, who gives a fuck if I'm gay? I can play hockey— shouldn't that be enough," Shepard asked quietly.</p><p>"We both know that's not how it works," Kaidan chuckled.</p><p>"I just hate not being able to kiss you right now. It fucking sucks," Shepard said with a frustrated sigh.</p><p>"Same. You go on to dinner, and when it's over, call me. We'll talk for as long as you want. Deal?" Kaidan suggested.</p><p>"Deal," Shepard agreed with a wink. "I love you, babe."</p><p>"I love you too," Kaidan replied with a smile as he got into his car.</p><p>Shepard waved as he watched his boyfriend disappear down the street.</p><p>"John, sweetheart— are you ready for dinner?" Kahlee called out, causing Shepard to walk to her side.</p><p>"Son, these three gentlemen are scouts for the NHL. They would like to talk to you tonight over dinner," Anderson explained as he introduced the three gentlemen.</p><p>"Is Coach Massani coming with us?" Shepard asked curiously.</p><p>"You're goddamn right— I'm coming with you. Someone has to look out for your interests," Zaeed insisted as Anderson started to introduce the three gentlemen. "We've met. Gentlemen, shall we be on our way?"</p><p>The dinner was pleasant, and Shepard was greatly amused by the various things the gentlemen offered. They each praised Shepard's ability while also suggesting subtle changes to his personality. By the end of the dinner, Shepard was certain of one thing— he wasn't interested in any of it. </p><p>Once the dinner was over, they said their farewells to Shepard, promising to consider each of their offers. The three gentlemen took their leave— leaving Shepard, his family, and Zaeed alone to discuss what had been offered.</p><p>"Well, baby— what did you think," Kahlee asked nervously.</p><p>"I didn't like anything they offered. I felt like they were more interested in marketing my goddamn face than my actual talent," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p><p>"I agree. They're not offering anything worthy of your talent. I'm glad you weren't swayed by the money they offered," Zaeed praised, "I'm goddamn proud of you."</p><p>"My boy's not stupid— he knows what he wants," Anderson said with a proud smile. </p><p>"Can we go home now?" Shepard asked, growing tired of the restaurant setting.</p><p>"I think so," Kahlee chuckled as they made their way home.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>The next few weeks were strange— to say the least. Every practice was packed with people— all coming to catch a glimpse of the young blue-eyed hockey prodigy. Shepard had officially become popular— especially with the female persuasion. After every game, Shepard was swamped with people wanting his autograph— as well as young girls throwing themselves at him— some even going so far as to offer sexual favours. It was becoming a bit maddening for the young player.</p><p>"Ugh—" Shepard groaned as he noticed a gaggle of young girls following him to the lunchroom.</p><p>"You should be flattered, Loco," James said with a chuckle. "It's not every day that half the girls in school wanna jump your bones. Enjoy it, eh."</p><p>"I ain't interested. And I think it's fucking annoying," Shepard admitted as he took a bite of his apple.</p><p>"I'll bet it makes it more difficult for you and Kaidan," Garrus said in a sympathetic voice.</p><p>"No shit," Shepard snorted. "I'm tempted to just out myself. Maybe it'll stop this madness."</p><p>"You have to think about your career," Garrus reminded his friend.</p><p>"Yeah, yeah," Shepard said as he rolled his eyes.</p><p>"So, I'm inviting you to dinner— tomorrow at six— if you're interested," Kaidan said with a grin as Shepard fed him a piece of his apple.</p><p>"Sure," Shepard agreed with a smile. "I don't gotta wear a suit— do I?"</p><p>"No, honey— Just wear whatever makes you comfortable," Kaidan replied with an amused grin.</p><p>"Okay," Shepard smiled as he wiped some apple juice from Kaidan's bottom lip.</p><p>The entire table was startled when Miranda Lawson took a seat beside Kaidan, crossing her long legs before looking Shepard directly in the eye—</p><p>"Hello, Shepard. I just wanted to let you know that I'm quite interested in getting to know you better. You've caused quite a stir, and I think we can be beneficial to one another. Call me if you're interested," Miranda grinned as she handed Shepard a card with her contact information. "Kaidan, it's lovely to see you."</p><p>Kaidan said his farewells as Miranda made her way out of the cafeteria.</p><p>"Well, it's official— you are the most popular motherfucker in the entire school," James announced as he slapped Shepard on the back, "Congratulations, Loco."</p><p>"What the hell was that about?" Shepard asked curiously.</p><p>"Miranda thinks she can use you to gain even more popularity. In return, she thinks she can boost your popularity as well. She's obviously working an angle, but we'll never know what it is," Kaidan explained. "She does this all the time."</p><p>"Are you friends with her?" Shepard asked with a grin.</p><p>"I am. She's a good person, but she's vicious when she wants something," Kaidan explained.</p><p>"Well, I ain't interested," Shepard said as he tore the card into several little pieces.</p><p>"Kaidan, is it true that Miranda's having an affair with Principal Harper— owner of the Cerberus Hellhounds? I heard her call him Jack, and it was in a very friendly tone," Tali asked with a grin.</p><p>"I have no idea. And I don't want to know," Kaidan insisted as the bell rang, signalling the end of lunch and the start of practice for the hockey players.</p><p>"Well, I gotta go. I'll see you soon, babe," Shepard said as he followed Garrus and James to the car.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>Before Shepard knew it, it was time for dinner with the Alenko's. Shepard took his time picking out an outfit— trying his best to look decent.</p><p>"Goddammit! I still look like a fucking thug," Shepard growled as he looked at himself in the mirror.</p><p><em> 'You're paranoid! You look fine. You're going to be late if you don't fucking hurry,' </em>the voice warned.</p><p>"Shit! You're right. I guess this will have to do," Shepard said as he settled for a simple dark-red shirt and a pair of light-silvery-coloured jeans.</p><p><em> 'Weren't those supposed to be skinny jeans?' </em> The voice teased, making a crack about Shepard's weight.</p><p>"Fuck you! They ain't skinny jeans, and I ain't that goddamn skinny," Shepard said as he quickly put on his leather jacket.</p><p>"Well, aren't you handsome? They're going to love you, sweetheart," Kahlee insisted as she kissed her son on the cheek.</p><p>"I'm gonna take the car— if that's alright. I don't think my motorcycle would make a great first impression," Shepard admitted.</p><p>"Wait here," Kahlee insisted as she retrieved a bottle of expensive wine from the kitchen. "Here. You can tell them it's a gift from the family."</p><p>"Seriously! Thanks, Mom," Shepard smiled as he hugged her gratefully.</p><p>"You're welcome, sweetheart," Kahlee smiled at her son. "Be back before eleven, and drive safe."</p><p>"I will," Shepard smiled as he made his way to the car, then on to the Alenko residence—</p><p>
  <strong>~~~☆~~~</strong>
</p><p>
  <b>BUZZ—</b>
</p><p>Shepard held the doorbell down for a few seconds before releasing it.</p><p><em> 'Relax. Everything will be fine,' </em>the voice assured the nervous blonde.</p><p>"God, I hope so," Shepard whispered as the door slowly opened.</p><p>"John— Please, come in," Kaidan smiled as he led his love into the house. "Welcome to the Alenko residence."</p><p>Shepard couldn't believe the sheer size of the house. The architecture was stunning, and Shepard was in awe of it.</p><p>"Your house is unbelievable," Shepard admitted, "I feel a bit out of place."</p><p>"Don't be nervous," Kaidan said as he gave Shepard a quick peck on the lips.</p><p>"Do they <b>know</b> about us?" Shepard asked curiously.</p><p>"No. Not yet. I wanted them to meet and get to know you first," Kaidan admitted.</p><p>"Okay," Shepard said as he took a deep breath. "I— uh— brought wine. Well, my mom sent it."</p><p>"That was very nice of her," Kaidan smiled as he looked at the bottle. "It's expensive."</p><p>"Yeah. She wanted to help me make a good impression," Shepard explained.</p><p>"You'll be fine, John," Kaidan assured with a wink as he led his lover to the dining room—</p><p>"Mother, I'd like to introduce you to my friend, John Shepard. Shepard, this is my mother, Elena Alenko," Kaidan introduced them with a smile.</p><p>"Hello, it's very nice to meet you," Shepard smiled as he shook her hand.</p><p>"The pleasure is all mine," Elena smiled, noticing the nervous look in Shepard's sapphire eyes. "My, you have beautiful blue eyes— they're absolutely stunning."</p><p>"Thank you, Ma'am," Shepard replied nervously.</p><p>"Kaidan, will you, please, place the glasses on the table while I go and get your father," Elena requested with a smile.</p><p>"Of course. Shepard brought wine," Kaidan said as he handed the bottle to his mother. </p><p>"It's actually from my mom," Shepard corrected.</p><p>"Well, that was very generous of her. Please, John, feel free to sit. I'll be back shortly," Elena said as she left to retrieve her husband.</p><p>"Well, what did you think of my mom?" Kaidan asked as he sat the wine glasses on the table.</p><p>"She's very beautiful. You have her eyes," Shepard said as he continued to fidget where he stood.</p><p>"Babe, calm down— take a seat," Kaidan grinned as he motioned to an empty chair.</p><p>"Yeah— thanks," Shepard said as he took his seat. "K— what do I do if my alarm goes off? I don't want 'em to know I take meds," Shepard asked anxiously.</p><p>"John, don't worry so much. Is it too early to take them now?" Kaidan asked curiously.</p><p>"I don't think so," Shepard replied with a shrug. </p><p>"Then take them now," Kaidan suggested as he poured Shepard a glass of water.</p><p>"Okay," Shepard agreed as he quickly took his medication. </p><p>Shepard had just put away the bottles when Kaidan's parents entered the room.</p><p>"Kaidan, Son, you didn't take your friend's coat?" Mr. Alenko chuckled as he motioned for his son to take Shepard's jacket.</p><p>Once Kaidan returned from taking Shepard's jacket, he immediately introduced his father to Shepard—</p><p>"Dad, this is my friend, John Shepard. Shepard, this is my father, Aleksander Alenko," Kaidan said with a smile.</p><p>"It's nice to meet you," Shepard said as he shook the man's hand.</p><p>"The pleasure is all mine. You are quite the hockey player," Aleksander grinned.</p><p>"Thank you, Sir," Shepard smiled nervously.</p><p>"Honey, you can talk all about hockey with John later, but for now, let's eat, shall we?" Elena suggested as she placed the rest of the food on the table. "I hope you like roast beef."</p><p>"I do," Shepard said as he took the seat opposite Kaidan.</p><p>The dinner went well, the only hiccup being Shepard's lack of appetite.</p><p>"Is the food alright?" Elena asked, noticing the way Shepard picked at his food.</p><p>"It's great. I'm just not very hungry," Shepard admitted.</p><p>"So, what are your plans after high school?" Elena asked as she took a sip of her wine.</p><p>"Um— if everything goes well— I hope to be playing professional hockey," Shepard said as he bounced his knee nervously.</p><p>"Son, surely, you realize you need other skills to fall back on," Aleksander insisted.</p><p>"I work on motorcycles. I'm pretty good at it," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p><p>"So, you're going to attend a trade school?" Elena asked with a smile.</p><p>"I dunno. I guess. I ain't very good at the whole school thing," Shepard replied nervously.</p><p>"I see," Aleksander said in a less than pleased tone. "Tell me, John— where were you born?"</p><p>"Vancouver— I'm from the Downtown Eastside," Shepard replied.</p><p>"Do you know your birth parents?" Aleksander asked, causing Shepard to visibly tense.</p><p>"Dad," Kaidan pleaded.</p><p>"I'm just curious, Kaidan," his father insisted.</p><p>"It's okay, K," Shepard said with a halfhearted smile. "No, Sir. I don't. I was a foster kid until a little over a year ago. That's when my dad adopted me."</p><p>"That was very kind of him. Most kids your age, they end up aging out of the system. You must be very grateful to him," Aleksander said as he took a drink of his wine.</p><p>"I am," Shepard said with a nod.</p><p>"It must be so strange— living on this side of the city. Tell me, how do you like it?" Elena asked curiously.</p><p>"I—I don't fit in here," Shepard admitted truthfully, "I know I ain't good enough for this side, but my dad's here and my mom's here— my little sister. That makes it better, I guess."</p><p>"You shouldn't talk that way about yourself. You should have more pride," Aleksander insisted.</p><p>"I got pride— I do— in the things I do, and in my family— in K," Shepard said quietly.</p><p>Aleksander and Elena stared at each other for several seconds until Elena broke the silence—</p><p>"Well said, John," Elena smiled as she raised her glass to the teen.</p><p>"Thank you," Shepard nodded as he lifted his glass to her.</p><p>The rest of the evening went well, and Kaidan was pleased with the way things had gone.</p><p>"John, it was very nice to meet you," Elena said as she kissed the young man on the cheek.</p><p>"I agree. You're welcome to come to dinner anytime you'd like, John," Aleksander said as he shook Shepard's hand. "Good luck in the finals."</p><p>"Thank you," Shepard said with a smile.</p><p>"I'll walk you to your car," Kaidan insisted as he retrieved Shepard's leather jacket from the closet before walking Shepard out of the house.</p><p>"Well, how did I do?" Shepard asked nervously.</p><p>"You did great. I think they like you," Kaidan said with a warm smile.</p><p>"So— when are you going to tell 'em about us?" Shepard asked nervously.</p><p>"Soon. I think they might already suspect something. I'll let you know how it goes," Kaidan promised as he opened Shepard's car door.</p><p>"I love you, K," Shepard said as he kissed his lover goodbye.</p><p>"I love you too. Drive safe," Kaidan said as he watched his lover disappear from sight before entering the house.</p><p>"He's a lovely young man," Elena said with a smile.</p><p>"When were you going to tell us the truth?" Aleksander asked in a serious tone that made Kaidan feel uneasy.</p><p>"What do you mean?" Kaidan asked nervously.</p><p>"We're not blind, Son. We saw the way you look at him. And he obviously adores you. He gave it away when he said he has pride in you. You gave it away the minute you asked him to dinner," Elena teased.</p><p>"I've had enough time to process things, and while I wish he was more educated— I do find him charming. So— if he makes you happy— we accept the relationship," Aleksander grinned as he hugged his son tightly.</p><p>"Thanks, Dad," Kaidan smiled as he hugged his father back.</p><p>"My family won't like it— but I don't care. As long as you're happy— that's what matters. Just promise me— if this gets serious— I want a wedding and grandchildren. It's not negotiable," Elena insisted as she kissed her son's cheek.</p><p>Kaidan laughed a bit at his mother. "Agreed."</p><p>"He is a handsome young man. You have good taste. I love you, my beautiful boy," Elena said as she touched his cheek. </p><p>"Dad? Are you <b>sure</b> you're okay with this?" Kaidan asked seriously.</p><p>"If I wasn't, would it change anything? Would you stop seeing him?" Aleksander asked curiously.</p><p>"I'm sorry, but no. I love him," Kaidan admitted truthfully.</p><p>"That's all I needed to hear. I'm okay. He seems like a very— different type of person. He's very interesting. I don't think a life with him would be easy, but I think you know that already," Aleksander said with a wink. </p><p>"Thank you, both— for understanding," Kaidan said with a slight bow.</p><p>"Okay, enough of that. Come, help me clear the table," Elena insisted as she led her son to the dining room.</p><p>'I can't wait to tell John the good news,' Kaidan thought with a smile as he helped his mother with the dishes.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next Chapter:  Shepard gets outed—</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0031"><h2>31. Out</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Shepard gets outed and his health falters—</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>***WARNING***<br/>HOMOPHOBIA</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Kai, I have something for you," Eva grinned as she made her way towards her associate.</p>
<p>"Oh, and what is this regarding?" Leng asked in mild amusement.</p>
<p>"Shepard. I have a way to make him go away. He's obviously a problem. His name is all over the hockey scene. They're saying he's the best they've seen. We both know that honour belongs to you and you alone," Eva said with a menacing grin.</p>
<p>"Hn. I hope you're more competent than my idiot cousin. Shepard scared him so much that he refuses to even speak about the man," Leng said bitterly.</p>
<p>"Oh, I'm way more competent, and I'll prove it— Take a look at these. The golden boy isn't as he seems," Eva said as she handed Kai her phone.</p>
<p>"I knew it! Jin was far too obsessed with him," Leng said with a disappointed frown.</p>
<p>"Jin and Shepard were—" Eva let the words die on her tongue. "And he never brought you proof? How incompetent can one be?"</p>
<p>"I think— in Jin's mind— he was in love with Shepard. He played around, thinking he could control Shepard— he was wrong, and it bit him in the ass. The idiot should have given me the dirt I needed. He could have at least gotten his revenge," Leng said, shaking his head in disappointment. "Is that Alenko? Strange— he doesn't look the type to slum it. Oh, this is good. You've managed to capture a few of them kissing. This is perfect. A gay hockey player— it might not be new, but there's no way the team will accept a gay Captain. It simply isn't done. Get me a few more. I'll post them as the game starts tomorrow night. He'll be ruined. The scouts will stop coming around, and the universe will realign once more."</p>
<p>"Of course. I'm sure I can get a few more," Eva assured her friend.</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>The trail near Wreck Beach—</b>
</p>
<p>"Well, that was good," Shepard said as his breathing started to even out.</p>
<p>"The best," Kaidan chuckled as he kissed Shepard's naked chest. "I'm definitely benefiting from your overactive libido."</p>
<p>"I better try to get my pants back on," Shepard chuckled as he climbed off of Kaidan's lap and back into the passenger's seat. </p>
<p>"What are you doing?" Kaidan asked in mild amusement as he disposed of the used condom.</p>
<p>"I'm opening the car door, so I can stand up and put on my jeans," Shepard explained.</p>
<p>"Oh," Kaidan said with a nod as he manoeuvred himself enough to button his jeans.</p>
<p>Once Shepard had his pants on, he invited Kaidan to walk with him a bit—</p>
<p>"Watch your step, babe," Shepard warned as they hopped a stream to get to the other side.</p>
<p>"The leaves are gone," Kaidan said as he continued to take in the scenery.</p>
<p>"Well, it's winter, ain't it?" Shepard asked in amusement.</p>
<p>"Yeah. It makes this place look so cold," Kaidan admitted </p>
<p>"I don't like it either. It smells too clean— damn-near sterile— like the hospital," Shepard said as a shiver coursed through his body.</p>
<p>"You're freezing. Why didn't you put your shirt back on?" Kaidan asked as he placed his own coat over Shepard's broad shoulders.</p>
<p>"I don't want you to get cold," Shepard argued.</p>
<p>"John, I have a sweater on. You have nothing. Trust me— you need the coat." Kaidan insisted as he kissed Shepard's neck.</p>
<p>"Do you wanna go back?" Shepard asked, his voice tired.</p>
<p>"Sure," Kaidan said as he took Shepard by the hand.</p>
<p>Once they were back in the car— comfortable and warm— Kaidan decided it was time to head home.</p>
<p>"Do you want anything to eat before we go home?" Kaidan asked his lover.</p>
<p>"Nah. You can get something if you'd like. I ain't hungry," Shepard admitted as he leaned his head against the car window.</p>
<p>"John, you need to see a doctor. Your appetite has gone from weak to damn-near non-existent," Kaidan said truthfully.</p>
<p>"I'm fine, baby. Once hockey season's over— I'll go," Shepard promised.</p>
<p>"Honey, if you keep this up, you won't have enough strength to finish the season," Kaidan reminded his blue-eyed lover.</p>
<p>"K, I know what I'm doing," Shepard snapped, Kaidan's eyes going wide as he scrambled to find his handkerchief. </p>
<p>"Hold still, babe," Kaidan insisted as he pressed the handkerchief to Shepard's nose.</p>
<p>"Goddammit," Shepard whispered. </p>
<p>"I thought the nosebleeds had stopped. How often has this been happening?" Kaidan asked as he tried to stifle the bleeding.</p>
<p>"I dunno. I don't really think about it," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p>
<p>"It's bleeding quite a bit," Kaidan said with a look of concern on his handsome face.</p>
<p>"It does that. It'll stop in a minute," Shepard assured his lover. "Did I ruin my shirt?"</p>
<p>"Yeah. The front looks pretty bad. It just started running like a river. There wasn't any time to react. Why are you worried about a shirt, anyway?" Kaidan asked in amusement.</p>
<p>"I like this shirt," Shepard shrugged. "It's comfortable."</p>
<p>"I'll get you another— don't worry," Kaidan insisted as he checked the blood flow once more.</p>
<p>"You don't gotta do that, K," Shepard smiled.</p>
<p>"I want to. It looks like it's finally starting to subside," Kaidan said with a grateful sigh.</p>
<p>"Yeah. I told you it wouldn't last long," Shepard grinned as Kaidan finally removed the handkerchief.</p>
<p>"<em>Sigh— </em>You look so pale, honey," Kaidan said as he touched Shepard's face.</p>
<p>"I'm okay. We better get home. It's starting to get dark," Shepard said as he buckled his seat belt.</p>
<p>"Yeah," Kaidan agreed as he started the car and headed home.</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>"Hey, K," Shepard called out suddenly.</p>
<p>"Yeah?"</p>
<p>"That car— it's been following us all day," Shepard explained nervously.</p>
<p>"Are you sure? I haven't noticed anything," Kaidan admitted truthfully.</p>
<p>"Maybe I'm just paranoid," Shepard chuckled as he took Kaidan's hand in his— entwining their fingers.</p>
<p>"Your hands are cold, baby," Kaidan said as he kissed Shepard's hand.</p>
<p>"Sorry about that," Shepard said with an apologetic grin.</p>
<p>"Well, we're almost home. I'm going to take you to the door. And no arguing— it's far too chilly for you to walk," Kaidan insisted.</p>
<p>"Okay," Shepard agreed with a smile as they turned up the street. "Are you going to be at the game tomorrow night?"</p>
<p>"Actually, I can't make it. I promised my mother I'd help her out, and the game <b>is </b>out of town. I wouldn't be able to make it even if I tried," Kaidan said in an apologetic voice.</p>
<p>"I understand. I'll let you know how everything goes," Shepard promised with a grin.</p>
<p>"Well, we're here. I'll call you when I get home," Kaidan said as he kissed his lover goodnight.</p>
<p>"I love you, babe. Drive safe," Shepard said as he exited the vehicle.</p>
<p>"I love you too," Kaidan said as he pulled out of the drive.</p>
<p>Shepard watched until his love was out of sight before entering the house, eager to get some much-needed sleep—</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>The following evening—</b>
</p>
<p>"Shepard's killing it— AGAIN," Jack chuckled as she watched her friend closely.</p>
<p>"He's damn good. There's another scout here tonight. Hopefully, I can set up another meeting for Shepard," Zaeed said just as the crowd started chanting. "What the hell are they saying?"</p>
<p>"I dunno— it sounds like 'faggot'. What the hell's going on," Jack asked just as her phone buzzed.</p>
<p>Jack checked her notifications, only to find intimate images of Shepard and Kaidan loading on her phone.</p>
<p>"Shit! Pops, we got a huge problem," Jack said as she showed her father the images. </p>
<p>"Bloody hell," Zaeed said as he rubbed his face hard. "This shit shouldn't matter. It has nothing to do with playing goddamn hockey. They're gonna try to tear him apart on a personal level. This fucking reeks of Cerberus."</p>
<p>Shepard made another goal, only to be booed by half the people in attendance.</p>
<p><em> 'What the hell's going on?' </em>The voice asked in confusion.</p>
<p>"I have no fucking idea," Shepard admitted as he ended his shift.</p>
<p>The minute he took the bench, he was taunted by fans to the point of being called 'faggot' and having trash thrown at him.</p>
<p>Garrus took his seat, with Miller on Shepard's other side—</p>
<p>"What's going on?" Garrus asked as another piece of garbage hit Shepard on the back of the head.</p>
<p>"Quit it, goddammit! If you don't stop throwing your trash at me, I'm gonna kick your motherfucking ass," Shepard yelled as he stood to face the heckler. </p>
<p>Paul held Shepard back as Garrus tried his best to calm his blue-eyed friend.</p>
<p>"What's this all about?" Paul asked as he handed his Captain a fresh bottle of water.</p>
<p>"I got fucking outed," Shepard admitted as he tried his best to ignore the hecklers.</p>
<p>"Outed?" Paul asked, the truth— finally— dawned on him as he spoke. "You're—"</p>
<p>"Gay— yeah, Miller, I am," Shepard admitted, hoping Paul would accept him.</p>
<p>"That's— surprising," Paul said with a nod.</p>
<p>"Who would've done that?" Garrus asked in annoyance.</p>
<p>"I dunno. Well, it was a good dream," Shepard mumbled as he returned to the ice.</p>
<p>"What did he mean by that?" Paul asked in confusion.</p>
<p>"I think Shepard's gonna quit," Garrus replied truthfully.</p>
<p>"That's bullshit! He's the best player we have. Hell, he's the best player in the whole damn league," Paul insisted.</p>
<p>"True, but how many openly gay players have you seen in the NHL?" Garrus asked seriously.</p>
<p>"So? Shepard will be the first. We can't let him quit," Miller insisted.</p>
<p>"Agreed," Garrus grinned as they watched their Captain closely.</p>
<p>"Jake and his goons are just standing there!" Jack yelled as she watched Shepard working alone on the ice.</p>
<p>"Those four are a goddamn embarrassment," Zaeed growled as he called for a shift change.</p>
<p>The rest of the game passed fairly quickly, and the Renegades won by a narrow margin. On the way to the locker room, Shepard was bombarded by reporters, all of which he ignored as he continued on his way—</p>
<p>"I knew something was up with him. I guess that explains that bitchy attitude," Jake said as he continued to talk to his buddies.</p>
<p>Shepard remained quiet as he removed his gear.</p>
<p>"Boys, don't go anywhere. The coach wants to talk to you. You can hit the showers, but don't leave," Jack announced before quickly exiting the all-male locker room.</p>
<p>Shepard said nothing as he followed his three friends to the showers.</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p><em>'Are you alright?' </em>The voice asked anxiously.</p>
<p>"I'm fine. It was bound to happen sometime," Shepard admitted as he made his way back to the locker room. </p>
<p>Shepard just shook his head when the rest of the team went to take a shower.</p>
<p><em> 'Oh, look— they're afraid to take a shower in your presence. What a bunch of assholes,' </em>the voice said with an air of disgust.</p>
<p>"The bullshit is already starting," Shepard said as he quickly got dressed before sitting back down on the bench. "I wish Coach Massani would hurry the fuck up. I'm tired as all hell."</p>
<p>"Yeah, you worked your ass off for sure," Miller said as he rubbed his Captain's back.</p>
<p>"You better watch— you'll catch the gay," Shepard joked, causing Miller to break out into laughter.</p>
<p>It wasn't long after the players all returned to the locker room that Zaeed entered the room.</p>
<p>"Well, tonight was a goddamn mess," Zaeed admitted aloud. "But— you did well. You kept your heads in the game, and you got it done. Well, most of you got it done. Jake, your line was a fucking disgrace. What do you have to say for yourselves?"</p>
<p>"Coach, you can't blame us for that! None of us want to play with a Captain like that. Get him off the ice, and we'll play," Jake demanded.</p>
<p>Shepard shook his head as he collected his things. "I'll go. It's obvious I ain't wanted here. But before I leave, I just want to thank all of you— well, most of you— it has been an honour to play with you. And I'm proud to have been your Captain. I'm sorry if I offended anyone. That was never my intent. I just wanted to play hockey. Good luck in the finals. I know you'll do well."</p>
<p>Shepard made it to the door before Zaeed grabbed him by the shoulder.</p>
<p>"That was goddamn beautiful, but sit down, kid," Zaeed demanded, "It ain't over yet."</p>
<p>Shepard looked at Zaeed in confusion but reluctantly did as he was told.</p>
<p>"You say that no one wants to play as long as Shepard is on the team. Well, let's see if there's any truth to that statement. Shepard, come— stand by me— Jake, you stand over there. All those who refuse to play alongside Shepard, go stand behind Jake. Anyone who wishes to support Shepard, stand behind him."</p>
<p>The locker room was filled with the sounds of people shuffling their feet, and when silence fell upon the room, the truth was obvious—</p>
<p>"Well, Jake— it appears that the only people with an issue here is your line. Well, all except Vale, that is," Zaeed said with a grin.</p>
<p>"Are you fucking kidding me? You guys can't possibly be okay with this! He's a fucking faggot. You know his kind have no business playing hockey. Don't be afraid to speak up, guys. Who's with me?" Jake asked, eyes going wide when no one changed sides.</p>
<p>"Majority wins," Zaeed announced, "Reed, Evans, Pearson, and Adler— get your gear and get the fuck out. You're done. Don't bother coming in for practice— the four of you are fired. There's no room for ignorant goddamn hate on this team. You'll be paid for the week."</p>
<p>Jake growled in anger as he hastily left the locker room with his friends in tow.</p>
<p>"Don't worry— their replacements have already been found. Before we go on— does anyone have a problem with Shepard's sexuality? If you do— let's get it all out in the open now," Zaeed insisted.</p>
<p>"No, Sir," the team replied in unison.</p>
<p>"Good. I'm proud of all of you," Zaeed praised his team. "I'll see you tomorrow. You're dismissed. Shepard, I need a word with you."</p>
<p>"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cause trouble," Shepard apologized.</p>
<p>"You're fine. I just thought you should know— the scout— he left," Zaeed said with a sympathetic tone.</p>
<p>Shepard nodded as he spoke. "I understand."</p>
<p>"They'll come around," Zaeed insisted.</p>
<p>"Maybe," Shepard smiled a fake smile.</p>
<p>"Don't let this stop you, Shepard. Show them how goddamn good you are— make them beg to have you on their team. You can do it. I know you can. You can go now," Zaeed smiled as he slapped Shepard on the shoulder.</p>
<p>"Thanks, Coach," Shepard said as he exited the building.</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>"I'm home," Shepard announced as Anderson greeted him at the door.</p>
<p>He said nothing— he just hugged his son tightly.</p>
<p>"I guess the NHL dream is pretty much over, eh," Shepard whispered as he quickly dried his eyes. "Are my eyes red? I don't want Mom to worry."</p>
<p>"You're fine," Anderson assured his son as they walked towards the kitchen.</p>
<p>"Are you okay, sweetheart? They didn't hurt you, did they?" Kahlee asked, remembering the way some of the crowd had acted towards her son.</p>
<p>"I'm fine. They're harmless, Mom. The— uh— scout— he left. I don't think they're interested anymore," Shepard explained. "I'm tired. I think I'll go on— to bed."</p>
<p>"Did you call Kaidan?" Anderson asked as he took his son's hockey bag.</p>
<p>"Yeah. We talked on the phone as I was coming home. He said it was okay. I just hope his parents aren't pissed. Well, goodnight. I love you, both," Shepard said as he made his way towards his bedroom.</p>
<p><em> 'You ain't gonna give up, are you?' </em>The voice asked anxiously.</p>
<p>"Nope. I'm gonna show them how goddamn good I can be. I'll play my goddamn heart out. They'll have to acknowledge me— and if they don't— fuck them! We're winning that goddamn title," Shepard promised.</p>
<p><em> 'That's what I like to hear! If anyone can do it— you can,' </em>the voice assured the blue-eyed blonde.</p>
<p>"I'm fucking gassed. I'm going to bed," Shepard announced as he turned out the light and prepared for bed.</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>One week later—</b>
</p>
<p>"Tonight's a huge game for us," Shepard admitted as he picked at his lunch. "We're playing against the Hellhounds on their turf. We have to win— if we don't, I don't know if we stand a chance against them in the finals."</p>
<p>"I think we've got a great chance. The team has really started to gel. As long as we listen to you, we should be good," Paul assured him with a grin.</p>
<p>"I hope so. I ain't feeling the best today," Shepard admitted as he took a drink of his water.</p>
<p>"Are you okay, John?" Kaidan asked in concern for his love.</p>
<p>"Yeah, babe. I'm just tired. All these fucking questions about my sexuality instead of questions about hockey— I think they're making me sick," Shepard chuckled.</p>
<p>"Once we beat the crap outta the Hellhounds, they'll start respecting you again," James said with a grin.</p>
<p>"I don't care about that. As long as the team's respected— I'm good," Shepard said with a grin.</p>
<p>"Well, we should get going. The game starts soon," Garrus said as the players readied themselves for the door.</p>
<p>"Are you gonna be there tonight?" Shepard asked his lover quietly.</p>
<p>"I'll be there, honey," Kaidan grinned as he kissed Shepard goodbye. "Good luck, babe."</p>
<p>"Thanks," Shepard winked at his lover as he followed his friends out of the building.</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Later that night—</b>
</p>
<p>"What are you doing out there!? You're letting Shepard make fools of us," Kai Leng yelled at his teammates, obviously frustrated by Shepard's success.</p>
<p>"We're doing our best! The way he passes the fucking puck is unreal. It's like the bastard has eyes in the back of his head," a young right-wing forward said as he took a drink of his water.</p>
<p>"Yeah. It's like he's got some kind of sixth sense or something. He knows exactly where the puck is and exactly where it's going. I'm sorry, but you're going to have to deal with him," another teammate insisted.</p>
<p>"Fine! I'll deal with Shepard," Kai growled as the shifts changed, and he took his place on the ice.</p>
<p>Leng had a smug grin when he managed to steal the puck from Shepard. The look was immediately wiped from his face as Shepard called out to Garrus.</p>
<p>Garrus immediately took the puck from Leng just as Shepard called out to Paul, causing Garrus to send the puck into Miller's direction. </p>
<p>Once Miller had control of the puck, Shepard called for the shot. At the sound of the goal going in, Kai Leng immediately threw a fit, charging Shepard in a fit of rage.</p>
<p>It only took a few seconds for the gloves to come off— with Shepard immediately punching Kai Leng right in the mouth.</p>
<p>Blood flowed freely from Leng's mouth as he staggered backwards, eventually landing on his ass. It took two of Leng's teammates to help the dazed man to his feet.</p>
<p>The referee immediately called a penalty on Shepard, causing Zaeed and half the spectators to express their displeasure with the obviously bad call. </p>
<p>"Are you out of your goddamn mind!? He attacked Shepard without cause, and you have the goddamn nerve to try and throw him into the goddamn penalty box. That ain't happening," Zaeed said with a serious tone.</p>
<p>"Goddamn, that felt good," Shepard grinned as he awaited his fate while speaking to his teammates.</p>
<p>"There's no fucking way you're gonna be penalized. That fucker Leng attacked you out of nowhere. He's the one going in the box," Vale said as he took a drink of his water.</p>
<p>"Hey, I'll take one for the team," Shepard grinned, "I liked punching that cunt." </p>
<p>"No need for that," Miller grinned as he motioned towards the second referee.</p>
<p>The penalty was called on Leng, and Shepard couldn't help but grin at the pissed off look in the arrogant man's eyes.</p>
<p>The rest of the game went by fairly quickly— ultimately ending in a solid victory for the Renegades.</p>
<p>And just like that— the switch flipped once again, and all attention was back on Shepard. He skillfully navigated through the various interviews before making his way to the locker room.</p>
<p>Once all the players were in the locker room, they began to celebrate. Shepard was happy to see how close they had become in such a short time and was confident that they would be the team to beat during the finals. After a few minutes, Shepard excused himself to take a shower.</p>
<p>Once his shower was over, he went outside to meet his lover—</p>
<p>"Hey, baby," Shepard called out as he hugged his lover tight.</p>
<p>Kaidan gave him a quick kiss. "Great game tonight, babe. Are you ready to go home?"</p>
<p>"Hell, yes. I'm so goddamn tired," Shepard admitted as he placed his hockey bag in the trunk.</p>
<p>"You look exhausted. But, I must say, you looked like you were having fun tonight," Kaidan said with a grin.</p>
<p>"I was having fun. Leng got what was coming to him. That made me extremely happy for some reason," Shepard laughed. "I never asked— are your parents okay with everything? They aren't pissed about those photos, are they?"</p>
<p>"They know it wasn't your fault. And there weren't many graphic ones— just a few of you in my lap," Kaidan explained, "They know that, given your profession, these things could happen. So, don't worry— we're golden."</p>
<p>"Oh, no! You've been around me too long. You're starting to pick up my words," Shepard teased as he continued to gaze lazily at his lover.</p>
<p>"John, honey— why don't you take a nap. I'll wake you when we get you home," Kaidan suggested, noticing how Shepard was struggling to keep his eyes open.</p>
<p>It took Kaidan about forty-five minutes to get to Shepard's place, and another ten to get him to the bed—</p>
<p>"He's pretty exhausted. I guess he has a right to be, though. He was so unbelievably good tonight. They blew Cerberus away," Kaidan said with a proud smile on his face.</p>
<p>"We saw. The sports media seemed to be quite impressed. I hope that's a good sign," Anderson said as he walked Kaidan to the door.</p>
<p>"I think it is. Sir, can you— maybe— keep an eye on John. He was so tired after the game— I don't know— I'm just worried about him," Kaidan admitted truthfully.</p>
<p>"I'll keep an eye on him," Anderson promised as he shook Kaidan's hand. "Drive safe, Son."</p>
<p>"Will do. Have a good night," Kaidan smiled as he made his way to his car.</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>The next morning—</b>
</p>
<p>Shepard woke— feeling tired— and just a bit nauseous— he slowly put on a pair of sweatpants before attempting to make it to the kitchen.</p>
<p>He staggered about halfway down the hall before he found himself leaning against the wall— his head swimming as he called out—</p>
<p>"Dad— Daddy— DADDY," Shepard called out, his voice getting louder each time.</p>
<p>"Son? SON!?"</p>
<p>Anderson's eyes went wide as he took in the sight of his son leaning against the wall— his nose pouring blood as it dripped onto his chest.</p>
<p>"I—I can't— I'm tired," Shepard admitted as he slid down the wall, his head falling forward as his body went still.</p>
<p>"Kahlee, call 911," Anderson yelled as he tried his best to wake his unconscious son. "I need to stop the bleeding."</p>
<p>"David, what's going— Oh, my God," Kahlee gasped as she immediately dialed 911.</p>
<p>Anderson pulled his shirt off and immediately pressed it to his son's nose, applying pressure in hopes of staunching the blood flow.</p>
<p>"They're on their way," Kahlee called out as she moved to hold her son's head in her lap. "He's so pale."</p>
<p>"I think I've almost got the bleeding under control. But he's still unconscious," Anderson explained as he waited patiently for the EMTs.</p>
<p>"Mommy, is Loco okay?" Hailey asked as she watched the scene before her.</p>
<p>"He's going to be fine, baby," Kahlee promised as she stroked her son's dark-blonde hair.</p>
<p>A few minutes later, the doorbell rang—</p>
<p>"That's the EMTs. I'll go let them in," Anderson insisted as he placed Kahlee's hand over the strategically placed t-shirt. "Keep applying pressure."</p>
<p>Within a few minute's time, the EMTs decided to take Shepard to the emergency room— citing his unpredictable vitals as the reason.</p>
<p>"Once Shepard was admitted, he immediately received an emergency blood transfusion before being subjected to a battery of tests.</p>
<p>The tests lasted well into the night, and before the Andersons knew it, it was past midnight.</p>
<p>"Kahlee, baby— you can go on home if you'd like. Hailey's exhausted, and she'd be better off in a bed. I can stay with him tonight," Anderson suggested, knowing how exhausted his girls were.</p>
<p>"I'm afraid to leave him. What if he gets worse, David? I want to be here for him," Kahlee said in a concerned tone.</p>
<p>"Mom," Shepard whispered just loud enough for his parents to hear. </p>
<p>"Hey, sweetheart," Kahlee whispered as she kissed his forehead.</p>
<p>"Mom, I'm okay. You can go on home. Hailey's tired, and you both need rest. I'll be fine, eh," Shepard said, his voice just a touch louder than a whisper.</p>
<p>"Are you sure, baby?" Kahlee asked anxiously.</p>
<p>"I'm sure. I love you, Mom," Shepard said as he closed his eyes to sleep.</p>
<p>"I love you too, baby," Kahlee whispered as she kissed her son's forehead.</p>
<p>"I'll carry Hailey to the car," Anderson insisted as he picked up his sleeping daughter. "Are you ready to go, honey?"</p>
<p>"I guess. Be sure to call me if anything changes," Kahlee demanded as she followed her husband out the door.</p>
<p>They made it halfway down the hall when they ran into Kaidan. </p>
<p>"I came as soon as I could. Is he okay?" Kaidan asked in a worried tone.</p>
<p>"He's fine. They're giving him blood now, and he's sleeping a bit," Anderson explained.</p>
<p>"Do you mind if I stay with him?" Kaidan asked nervously.</p>
<p>"I think John would like that," Kahlee smiled as she rubbed her sleeping daughter's back.</p>
<p>"I'll be back soon. You can go on ahead. He's in the last room, down the hall on the right," Anderson explained before continuing to walk his wife to the car.</p>
<p>Kaidan tried to be as quiet as possible upon entering the room— not wanting to disturb his sick lover. Kaidan's heart dropped when he noticed just how pale his lover looked. </p>
<p>'John, baby, what's going on with you?' Kaidan wondered as he kissed Shepard's forehead before taking the seat closest to his love. </p>
<p>"K?" Shepard mumbled as his sapphire eyes fluttered open. </p>
<p>"Hey, honey," Kaidan whispered as he took Shepard by the hand. "How are you feeling?"</p>
<p>"Not great," Shepard gave a weak smile. "I'm tired. I'm glad to see you, baby."</p>
<p>"I'm glad to see you too," Kaidan smiled as he kissed Shepard's hand. "Do they know what's wrong?"</p>
<p>"Not yet. They're running tests. I feel like a goddamn pincushion," Shepard laughed weakly. "I wanna talk more, but I'm so tired."</p>
<p>"I'll be here when you wake up, so just concentrate on getting some rest. We'll talk tomorrow," Kaidan promised.</p>
<p>"Love— you," Shepard whispered as he drifted off to sleep.</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>The next morning—</b>
</p>
<p>"He's looking much better," Anderson smiled as he watched his son closely.</p>
<p>"His colour has definitely improved," Kaidan admitted with a smile.</p>
<p>"I just wish they'd tell us what's wrong with him," Anderson said as he ran a hand through his son's dark-blonde hair.</p>
<p>"Hey," Shepard mumbled as he slowly began to stir. </p>
<p>"Hey, did I wake you?" Anderson asked in an apologetic tone.</p>
<p>"No," Shepard assured his father. "I'm feeling a bit better."</p>
<p>"You <b>look</b> better," Anderson grinned.</p>
<p>"Do you feel like eating something?" Kaidan asked as he took his lover's hand.</p>
<p>"Not really, but I could try," Shepard said as he sat up in the bed.</p>
<p>"Here, let me adjust the bed for you," Anderson insisted as he made his son more comfortable.</p>
<p>"I'll go tell the nurse that you're ready to eat," Kaidan said as he quietly left the room.</p>
<p>Shepard waited until Kaidan was out of sight before speaking, "Daddy, what's wrong with me?"</p>
<p>"They haven't said," Anderson admitted. "The doctor should be here soon. I'm sure he'll have an answer for us."</p>
<p>"The nurse will bring you something in a few minutes," Kaidan announced as he re-entered the room.</p>
<p>"Thanks, K," Shepard said as he kissed his lover gently.</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>Just as Shepard had finished eating, the doctor arrived to check in with the young blonde—</p>
<p>"How are you feeling today?" The doctor asked as he quickly examined the blue-eyed teen.</p>
<p>"Better than I was yesterday," Shepard admitted.</p>
<p>"You look much better. The blood did its job— your colour is much better," the doctor said with a smile. "Well, I have some good news— you tested negative for leukemia. There's no sign of cancer in any of the tests. But— you do have severe anemia— hence the need for a blood transfusion. It's very likely that you've had some form of anemia for a very long time— perhaps from birth. Your records show that you suffered several bleeding episodes from a hit-and-run accident. That was— probably— what triggered the severe symptoms. Your iron is a bit low, so we're going to give you an IV. After that, we'll need to keep an eye on you for a few days to ensure there's no further bleeding."</p>
<p>"I won't have to take anything for this— will I?" Shepard asked, not wanting to add to his list of medications.</p>
<p>"No, there will be no pills for you to worry about. You may— eventually— have to have another transfusion— especially if your anemia is genetic. I may have you take a vitamin B12 shot, depending on your numbers. It's a simple injection that you take once a month at home."</p>
<p>"Okay," Shepard nodded with a sigh. "Speaking of shots— I need my depot shot. I got the reminder this morning. Can you call my doctor and have him come, give it to me? His name is Doctor Michael Smith."</p>
<p>"Sure," the doctor said with a nod. "Doctor Smith should be doing his rounds in a few hours. I'll be sure to have him drop by. Are there any other questions?"</p>
<p>"When can I go back to playing hockey?" Shepard asked curiously.</p>
<p>"Two weeks from today," the doctor insisted.</p>
<p>"Okay," Shepard said as he tried to count the number of games he would have to miss. "I think I'll end up missing like four games. That ain't too bad."</p>
<p>"You'll be ready to go for the finals. I've seen you play. You're quite talented. I can't believe you were playing so well— your blood count was extremely low. We had to give you three units of blood. It's a miracle you were able to stand, let alone skate," the doctor said in wonder.</p>
<p>"I'm stubborn," Shepard shrugged.</p>
<p>"That's quite obvious," the doctor laughed. "Well, I have other patients to see. I'll check in with you later."</p>
<p>"See you then," Shepard said with a wave as the doctor made his way out of the room.</p>
<p>"That— was a relief," Kaidan admitted as he gave Shepard a quick kiss.</p>
<p>"That's good news, for sure," Anderson grinned as he retrieved his phone from his pocket. "I'll call your mother."</p>
<p>"I'm glad it ain't serious. Now I can't wait to go home," Shepard admitted with a chuckle.</p>
<p>"It won't be long, honey," Kaidan promised with a smile.</p>
<p>"I hope so," Shepard laughed as he kissed his lover's hand.</p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next Chapter:  Shepard gives Kaidan an odd gift—</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0032"><h2>32. Strange Gift</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Shepard offers Kaidan an odd gift. Shepard spends the night with Kaidan—</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>***WARNING***<br/>GRAPHIC SEXUAL CONTENT</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Shepard was released from the hospital with a clean bill of health five days after being admitted. Feeling 110% better than he was, Shepard was eager to get back on the ice. It took him about half a game to get back into his groove, and before he knew it, he was back to top form.</p><p>The scouts began swarming like flies, each one eager to sway the young blonde their way. And although Shepard was grateful for the opportunities they were offering, the constant unwanted attention was starting to get to him.</p><p>"Hey, babe," Shepard greeted his lover with a quick kiss. "Were you waiting long?"</p><p>"Honestly— I was. I've been waiting for a little over an hour," Kaidan admitted truthfully.</p><p>"Shit. K, baby— I'm so sorry. That goddamn scout wouldn't leave me alone. Every time I tried to leave, the dude had something else that he insisted on telling me," Shepard explained in frustration.</p><p>"Hn. Where was this guy from?" Kaidan asked as he placed Shepard's gear in the trunk.</p><p>"Calgary— as if I'm gonna play for the fucking Flames— not goddamn likely," Shepard said as he made his way to the passenger's seat.</p><p>"Do you really have a grudge against the Flames?" Kaidan asked in amusement.</p><p>"Nah— they just remind me of an old foster dad I had. He was from Calgary, and he fucking <b>loved</b> the Flames. He used to chew me out for wearing my Canucks jersey. So, yeah— he soured me on that fucking team," Shepard said with a shrug.</p><p>"Any scouts from Vancouver yet?" Kaidan asked, knowing how much Shepard loved the home team.</p><p>"Yep. I'm having lunch with him tomorrow. I want you to be there— if you ain't busy," Shepard asked nervously.</p><p>"Are you sure?" Kaidan asked, slightly surprised by the offer. "I won't make you nervous."</p><p>"K, baby— I want you there to make me less nervous. I've already been outed. I ain't nervous being me. Hell, I was more nervous trying to keep it from my team," Shepard admitted.</p><p>"If you're sure. I'll be there," Kaidan promised as he buckled his seat belt. "I'm starving. I made reservations, but I'm pretty sure we missed our window."</p><p>"I'm sorry," Shepard said quietly.</p><p>"It's fine. Where do you want to eat?" Kaidan asked as he took Shepard's hand.</p><p>"Anywhere you want. I'll eat anything," Shepard assured his love.</p><p>"How about we eat at Bishop's?" Kaidan suggested. </p><p>"I ain't never ate there. Is it good?" Shepard asked curiously.</p><p>"It's very good. The Death by Chocolate dessert is absolutely delicious. They also have takeout if you don't feel like eating in," Kaidan explained.</p><p>"Sounds good. Can we get takeout?" Shepard asked anxiously.</p><p>"Sure," Kaidan smiled as he kissed his lover's hand. </p><p>Kaidan pulled into the parking lot a few minutes later—</p><p>"Do you want to come in and have a look at their menu? They don't look very crowded," Kaidan asked, trying to coax his lover into accompanying him.</p><p>"Okay," Shepard agreed as he followed his lover inside—</p><p>"It's a nice place," Shepard whispered nervously.</p><p>"It is," Kaidan smiled as he led Shepard to the counter. "Hello, we'd like to order the special takeout for two."</p><p>"Of course, Sir. What wine would you like?" The young man asked with a smile.</p><p>"The Blue Mountain Gold Label Brut," Kaidan replied with a smile.</p><p>"Will that be all?" The young man asked.</p><p>"Yes. Thank you," Kaidan replied with a nod.</p><p>"Your order will be ready shortly. Please, feel free to have a seat while we complete your order," the young man said as he motioned to one of the empty tables.</p><p>"It shouldn't take too long," Kaidan assured his lover.</p><p>"This place is a bit expensive, ain't it," Shepard asked as he bounced his knee nervously.</p><p>"I don't mind," Kaidan said with a wink.</p><p>"It sucked that your birthday passed without us celebrating. That's on me. I'm sorry, baby," Shepard apologized.</p><p>"Honey, that was a while back. I understand why we didn't celebrate. You don't have to worry about that," Kaidan insisted. "Has that been bothering you all this time?"</p><p>"Well— yeah," Shepard admitted. "You deserved to be celebrated, but— I fucking forgot. It's been bugging me ever since. I love you, so there's no excuse for shit like that. I <b>should </b>have remembered." </p><p>"John, I know you love me. And as far as I'm concerned, you show that love every day. We both know you aren't good with dates. So, please, don't dwell on it, eh," Kaidan pleaded as he kissed his lover's hand.</p><p>"I don't deserve you. You know that, right, K," Shepard smiled as a young blonde-haired man approached their table—</p><p>"Hey, you're Shepard, right— number 7," the young blonde man asked, causing Shepard to turn his attention towards him.</p><p>"Uh-huh— that's me," Shepard replied with a half-smile.</p><p>"Can I have your autograph?" The young man asked nervously.</p><p>"I guess," Shepard shrugged, "Do you have a pen?"</p><p>"Uh— wait here," the young man instructed as he went off in the direction of the counter.</p><p>"That's weird," Shepard said as he continued to bounce his knee.</p><p>"No, it isn't. He's a fan. You should get used to signing autographs. You're about to become <b>very </b>popular," Kaidan explained honestly.</p><p>"I write like a fuckin' girl," Shepard admitted.</p><p>"So? No one's going to care. They'll be so excited that it won't matter how pretty your signature is," Kaidan chuckled in amusement.</p><p>"I'm back! Can you make it out to Conrad, Conrad Verner— V-E-R-N-E-R?" The young man asked with a smile.</p><p>"Uh— okay," Shepard agreed as he signed the back of the man's bill. "Here you go."</p><p>"Thank you so much. My girlfriend will love it," Conrad smiled as he exited the restaurant.</p><p>"How does it feel being so famous?" Kaidan asked with a smile. </p><p>"Fuckin' weird," Shepard admitted as he began to fidget with the pen.</p><p>It was then Kaidan noticed two young ladies giggling at the table next to them.</p><p>"Oh, my god— he's so hot. He looks like a freaking model. I'll bet I can change his mind," one of the girls insisted.</p><p>"I think you have a few more fans," Kaidan teased with a wink.</p><p>"Laugh it up, K," Shepard said as he rolled his eyes playfully.</p><p>Just as their order was called— the two ladies made their way towards Shepard—</p><p>"Can we have your autograph?" The two ladies asked in unison.</p><p>"Uh, sure," Shepard agreed as he uncapped the pen.</p><p>Shepard quickly signed their ticket stubs before handing them back.</p><p>"Did you have fun at the game?" Shepard asked curiously.</p><p>"We did. You absolutely dominated the competition," One of the girls praised with a wink.</p><p>"I got a good team. They make me look good," Shepard insisted.</p><p>"Trust me— you don't need any help in that department. You look plenty good," the other girl flirted.</p><p>"Thanks. Well, it was nice meeting you, but we have to get going," Shepard said with an apologetic smile. "Ready, babe?"</p><p>"Ready when you are," Kaidan grinned as he gave Shepard a quick kiss.</p><p>"You two are so cute. Here's our number— just in case you guys ever wanna hang out and have some fun," the young woman suggested with a wink.</p><p>"Uh— thanks," Shepard said, cocking his brow in amusement.</p><p>"Have a good night," Kaidan nodded as he took Shepard's hand before leading him out of the building— </p><p>The two men couldn't help but laugh once they were in the car.</p><p>"That was goddamn hilarious," Shepard said as he handed Kaidan the number.</p><p>"Why are you handing it to me?" Kaidan asked in between laughs.</p><p>"You're the bi-sexual one, not me," Shepard teased.</p><p>"Funny— that was very funny," Kaidan chuckled as he crumpled the paper up before tossing in the takeout bag.</p><p>"Do you wanna stay at my place tonight?" Shepard asked curiously.</p><p>"I was hoping you would stay with me tonight," Kaidan admitted.</p><p>"Your parents won't mind?" Shepard asked skeptically.</p><p>"Nah. I'm an adult, and they accept that. They won't say anything. I promise." Kaidan insisted.</p><p>"Okay. I'll spend the night. I have my meds with me, so I'm good to go. I just have to text my parents and let them know," Shepard said as he quickly texted his father.</p><p>It only took a few seconds for his father to reply—</p><p>"He said it was fine," Shepard said as he let his fingers entwine with Kaidan's.</p><p>"I have to get a couple of wine glasses, but after that, we can go straight to my room," Kaidan said as he pulled into the garage. "Are you ready to go in?"</p><p>"Yep," Shepard said as he unbuckled his seat belt. "I'm gonna leave my gear in the back. It probably stinks to high heaven."</p><p>Kaidan just laughed as he took his lover by the hand and led him inside—</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"Mom— I'm home," Kaidan called out as he led Shepard to the kitchen.</p><p>"Hello, sweetheart. I see you brought John with you. Tell me, will you be spending the night?" Elena asked as she put away the last of the dishes.</p><p>"If that's okay with you, Ma'am," Shepard replied nervously.</p><p>"That's fine, dear," Elena insisted as she watched Kaidan retrieve two wine glasses from the bar. "Kaidan, I hope you aren't thinking of serving a seventeen-year-old boy wine. We have plenty of non-alcoholic alternatives for him to enjoy."</p><p>Shepard couldn't help but snicker in amusement, causing Kaidan to give him a disapproving look.</p><p>"Don't worry, Mom— I'm bringing water for Shepard to enjoy," Kaidan said as he kissed his mother on the cheek. "Where's Dad?"</p><p>"He got called in— there was an emergency. He most certainly won't be home until late tonight," Elena explained.</p><p>"Well, we're going to go enjoy our dinner while it's still warm," Kaidan said as he kissed his mother on the cheek. "Goodnight, Mom."</p><p>"Goodnight, baby. Goodnight, John," Elena said with a smile as she headed towards the entertainment room. "I'm going to go watch a nice romantic comedy."</p><p>"Goodnight, Ma'am," Shepard called out as Kaidan motioned for him to follow.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"You can take your jacket off now," Kaidan grinned as he sat the food down on the table, along with the water and glasses.</p><p>Shepard grinned as he removed his leather jacket, watching as Kaidan did the same.</p><p>"Your bedroom is massive," Shepard said as he took in the surroundings.</p><p>"Yeah. I like a lot of space," Kaidan admitted as he opened their takeout boxes. "I also have a personal washroom. It's a decent size as well."</p><p>"Hn," Shepard mumbled as he peeked into the washroom. </p><p>"Honey, come and eat before it goes completely cold," Kaidan insisted as he poured them both a glass of wine.</p><p>"Didn't your mother tell you not to serve me wine," Shepard teased as he sat on the bed— opposite his lover.</p><p>"What she doesn't know won't hurt her," Kaidan winked as he handed the glass to his blue-eyed lover.</p><p>"I'm a horrible influence on you," Shepard admitted with a grin as he kissed the whisky-eyed beauty.</p><p>"How about a toast?" Kaidan asked as Shepard nodded in agreement. "To us."</p><p>"To us," Shepard grinned, "May we never fuck it up."</p><p>Kaidan laughed out loud at Shepard's words. "To not fucking it up."</p><p>"Cheers," Shepard said with a wink as he took a drink of the citrusy wine. "Damn, that's good. It's not what I was expecting. I like it."</p><p>"I was hoping you would. It goes great with the roast chicken," Kaidan said as he hand-fed his love.</p><p>"Mmm. What's the soup?" Shepard asked curiously.</p><p>"It's Salmorejo soup. It's Spanish tomato soup. It's served cold, so don't be surprised when you taste it," Kaidan explained as he started to enjoy his meal.</p><p>"Thanks for this," Shepard said quietly.</p><p>"You're very welcome. We should do this more often. You're really beautiful when you're like this," Kaidan insisted with a smile.</p><p>"When I'm like what?" Shepard asked in confusion.</p><p>"When you're unguarded— when it's just you and me. You look so peaceful, like an angel," Kaidan replied with a soft smile.</p><p>"I ain't no angel. I've been called a devil a few times, though," Shepard joked, causing Kaidan to shake his head.</p><p>"Save room for dessert," Kaidan suggested. "The dessert is delicious."</p><p>"What was it called again— Death by Chocolate," Shepard asked, uncertain whether he had remembered correctly or not.</p><p>"That's right," Kaidan grinned as he continued to eat his dinner. "I'm so glad you're getting your appetite back. It's nice to see you enjoying food again."</p><p>"Yeah. I'm feeling better for sure," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p><p>"Well, I'm ready for dessert," Kaidan said as he sat his container aside.</p><p>"Mmm. Me too," Shepard said with a suggestive wink.</p><p>"We'll get to that— but food first," Kaidan insisted.</p><p>"Aw— I want you for dessert," Shepard pouted as Kaidan kissed him playfully.</p><p>"Here— try a bite," Kaidan smiled as he fed his lover.</p><p>"It's good— but you taste better," Shepard said with a wicked grin.</p><p>"Behave— and eat your cake," Kaidan insisted as he wiped some raspberry sauce from Shepard's full lips. "I love your lips. They're so full and soft."</p><p>Shepard just smiled as he kissed Kaidan passionately.</p><p>It only took a few brief moments for the dessert to be set aside— forgotten in the wake of their passion.</p><p>"John, honey, let me put the containers on the table," Kaidan said as Shepard continued to devour his skin. "Come on, baby. I don't want to make a mess."</p><p>Shepard sighed in disappointment but allowed Kaidan to do as he wished.</p><p>"Can I play now?" Shepard asked, pouting like a little kid.</p><p>"Hold that pose," Kaidan said as he quickly retrieved his phone to snap a quick photo. "Beautiful!"</p><p>"Come here," Shepard growled as he pulled Kaidan close, just resting his head against Kaidan's stomach.</p><p>Kaidan just stroked Shepard's dark-blonde hair as the blue-eyed teen hugged him even tighter. </p><p>"What's wrong, love?" Kaidan asked, knowing something was on his lover's mind.</p><p>"I just wanna hold you like this for a while," Shepard admitted as he closed his eyes.</p><p>"Baby, talk to me. I know something's bothering you. What is it?" Kaidan insisted.</p><p>"It's nothing," Shepard said as he looked up at his lover, "I love you. You know that, right."</p><p>"I know. I love you too," Kaidan smiled as he kissed his lover's head, confused by his lover's behaviour.</p><p>"Ah— ignore me, K. Let's just concentrate on us, eh," Shepard suggested as he kissed his lover deeply.</p><p>Kaidan said nothing— he just straddled his lover's lap, slowly grinding himself against Shepard.</p><p>Shepard slowly removed Kaidan's shirt before removing his own.</p><p>Shepard lifted Kaidan up as he manoeuvred their bodies so that Kaidan was lying flat on the bed with Shepard atop him.</p><p>"You're strong," Kaidan grinned— pleasantly surprised by the way Shepard was able to manhandle him so easily.</p><p>"Hn," Shepard shrugged as he kissed his way down Kaidan's chest.</p><p>Shepard slowly unbuttoned his lover's pants before pulling them free from Kaidan's hips.</p><p>Shepard softly kissed Kaidan's well-toned stomach as he slowly removed the whisky-eyed brunette's underwear.</p><p>Shepard gave Kaidan a few firm strokes before taking him into his mouth.</p><p>"Hmm," Kaidan moaned as his blue-eyed lover continued to please him in a way that only Shepard could.</p><p>"Do you wanna cum now, baby?" Shepard asked as he licked the underside of Kaidan's cock.</p><p>"Not yet. I want to be inside you," Kaidan admitted truthfully.</p><p>Shepard just nodded as he silently removed his jeans.</p><p>"John, honey, do you ever wear underwear?" Kaidan asked with an amused grin. </p><p>"K, you've seen me in underwear. I just don't bother sometimes. Does that bother you?" Shepard asked as he cocked his head to the side.</p><p>"No— it's sexy," Kaidan said as he casually stroked himself.</p><p>"Do you have any lube?" Shepard asked curiously.</p><p>"In the drawer," Kaidan said as he motioned towards the nightstand.</p><p>"K— I got tested like three weeks ago, and I ain't been with nobody, but you—" Shepard paused mid-sentence— unsure of what to say.</p><p>"You don't want to use a condom," Kaidan asked, his brow furrowing in confusion.</p><p>"It don't bother me— one way or the other— it's all the same to me. But I trust you. So— anytime you wanna cum in me— you can," Shepard offered nervously.</p><p>"Is that something you enjoy?" Kaidan asked, trying not to offend his lover.</p><p>"Well— yeah— with people I love. I'm only offering this because I love you. I wouldn't suggest it if I didn't love you," Shepard explained nervously.</p><p>"John, I've never been tested," Kaidan admitted truthfully.</p><p>"You said you ain't been with nobody except Rahna," Shepard reminded his love. "I highly doubt she's dirty."</p><p>"Well— I don't think she is either," Kaidan agreed. "But—"</p><p>"But— you think I'm dirty," Shepard whispered in a hurt tone. </p><p>"John."</p><p>"Don't— I don't blame you. It's okay. I'll— uh— get a condom from my wallet," Shepard said as he swallowed down the hurt.</p><p>"John— I trust you. I just wish you didn't trust me so much. You shouldn't trust so easily," Kaidan explained.</p><p>"I DON'T! I don't fucking trust <b>anyone</b>. You think I trust every goddamn guy that treats me good? Fuck you, Kaidan! I've been used so goddamn much that I'd rather die than have some random fucker cum in me. Do you fucking know how long it took for me to be comfortable enough to let Aaron inside me without a condom? He was my entire fucking world, and I made him wait. I offered you this because you made me feel safe and clean. I'm sorry I fucking asked. I—I should go," Shepard said as tears glistened in his sad blue eyes.</p><p>"John, please, don't go," Kaidan held Shepard from behind, kissing his shoulder in apology. "I didn't mean to hurt you— I was only worried for you. I was insensitive, and I'm sorry. Please, stay. We don't have to have sex. I just want you with me."</p><p>"I fucking love you, K," Shepard explained as the tears finally fell, "I love you so much. I just wanted to give you this. This is the most personal thing I got. I know it's stupid, but that's how I feel. And I didn't mean to yell— I just— I'm so fucking stupid. I can't find the words. I try, but— I'm sorry."</p><p>"I understand, honey. I love you too. And I want whatever you want. I'll take whatever you offer, and I'll cherish it. I swear, I will. So, can we please just start over?" Kaidan asked with a sense of fear in his voice. "Please— I don't wanna lose you, John."</p><p>Shepard just nodded as he turned to look at his whisky-eyed lover.</p><p>"I hate to see you cry," Kaidan whispered as he helped to dry his lover's sapphire eyes.</p><p>"I'm sorry. My mood swings— you don't deserve this shit. I snapped at you, and you didn't deserve it. Forgive me, eh," Shepard pleaded.</p><p>"You have nothing to apologize for. I'm just glad you aren't giving up on me," Kaidan said with a sincere smile.</p><p>"Never— I'd never give up on you. You're the best thing in my life," Shepard said quietly.</p><p>Kaidan hugged his lover as tight as he could. "I love you so much, John."</p><p>Shepard kissed his lover slowly, and it didn't take long until they were in the exact same position they were in earlier.</p><p>"Where do you keep your condoms?" Shepard asked quietly.</p><p>"We don't need them," Kaidan insisted as he kissed Shepard gently.</p><p>"K, we don't have to," Shepard whispered, not wanting his lover to feel pressured.</p><p>"John, I <b>want </b>to. I was going to say yes before, but I let my lecturing get in the way," Kaidan admitted truthfully.</p><p>"Okay," Shepard nodded as Kaidan lifted Shepard just enough to switch their positions— with Shepard now on his back and Kaidan sprawled over his naked body. "Your tattoos are beautiful."</p><p>"Thank you," Shepard whispered as he kissed Kaidan languidly.</p><p>"Lift your legs, baby," Kaidan whispered as he prepared his lover thoroughly.</p><p>"Hm. It feels good," Shepard hummed as he stroked himself.</p><p>"Are you ready for me?" Kaidan asked as he kissed Shepard's jawline.</p><p>"Fuck, yes," Shepard grinned as Kaidan slowly entered his lover.</p><p>"You're so hot," Kaidan whispered as he slowly started to move.</p><p>Shepard wrapped his long legs around his lover, taking Kaidan deeper inside his tight heat.</p><p>"Fuck me, K," Shepard whispered in his lover's ear.</p><p>Kaidan did just as he was told, his movements becoming more aggressive with each thrust.</p><p>"Fuck," Kaidan groaned as Shepard ran his nails down Kaidan's back.</p><p>"Does it feel good, baby," Shepard asked with a wicked grin.</p><p>"God, yes," Kaidan admitted as he continued to thrust into Shepard with reckless abandon.</p><p>Kaidan continued to fuck his lover until they were both dripping with sweat.</p><p>"I'm close, baby," Kaidan admitted truthfully.</p><p>"You wanna cum, baby," Shepard asked as he kissed his lover hard. "Cum in me, K."</p><p>"Fuck," Kaidan's thrusts became erratic as he chased his orgasm. "Cum with me, John."</p><p>Shepard started stroking himself rapidly. "I'm fucking there, K," Shepard whined as he finally found his release.</p><p>Shepard's release was— exactly— what it took to send Kaidan over the edge—</p><p>Shepard could feel Kaidan's body spasming and heat filling him as Kaidan released his seed deep inside him.</p><p>Kaidan collapsed atop his lover— his body utterly spent as he buried his face in the hollow of Shepard's neck.</p><p>"I love you," Kaidan whispered as he tried to catch his breath.</p><p>"I love you too," Shepard smiled.</p><p>"I should probably get a washcloth. We're pretty sticky," Kaidan chuckled as he carefully pulled out of Shepard's well-used body.</p><p>"Sorry about that. I came a lot," Shepard admitted as he sat up in bed.</p><p>"Here— let me clean you," Kaidan insisted as he ran the damp cloth over Shepard's well-defined abdomen. "I love watching your muscles dance."</p><p>Shepard just chuckled before kissing Kaidan slowly.</p><p>"I came a lot too. It's leaking a bit. I'm sorry," Kaidan admitted, his face red in embarrassment.</p><p>"I know. I can feel it inside me. I like it. It makes me feel closer to you. Is that weird?" Shepard asked curiously.</p><p>"I don't think so," Kaidan replied honestly. "I think it's a beautiful thought."</p><p>"I think we should sleep now," Shepard suggested as he kissed Kaidan on the cheek.</p><p>"Yeah. I'm pretty tired. Just let me turn off the light," Kaidan said as he flicked the switch before joining his lover in bed. "Do you mind if I hold you?"</p><p>"Not at all. I think I'd like that," Shepard admitted as he curled into Kaidan's touch.</p><p>"Goodnight, honey," Kaidan smiled as he kissed the blue-eyed beauty's forehead.</p><p>"G'night," Shepard mumbled as he slowly drifted off to sleep.</p><p>
  <strong>~~~☆~~~</strong>
</p><p>The lovers slept peacefully until around three in the morning— when Shepard began thrashing about as if fighting an unseen enemy. Shepard was screaming— begging for mercy— for the pain to stop when he accidentally punched Kaidan right in the jaw—</p><p>"Shit! John, honey, wake up," Kaidan yelled as he tried to avoid getting punched again.</p><p>"Please, no more— it hurts. I'm tired," Shepard cried.</p><p>Kaidan finally managed to manoeuvre Shepard into a safer position— holding him tight as he wept.</p><p>Shepard's screams were so loud that it eventually alerted Kaidan's parents. And it wasn't long until there was a knock on Kaidan's bedroom door—</p><p>"Son, is everything okay?" Aleksander asked, his voice full of concern.</p><p>"The door's open, Dad. I could use some help," Kaidan admitted as his father entered the room.</p><p>"Is he alright," Elena asked as she looked in on her son.</p><p>"I think he's having a night terror," Kaidan attempted to explain as he held his lover tighter.</p><p>"Don't wake him— just let it pass," Aleksander suggested.</p><p>"Dad, his heart is beating way too fast," Kaidan admitted with a hint of fear in his voice. "He needs to wake up— now."</p><p>"Kaidan, I know what I'm talking about. Let it pass," Aleksander insisted.</p><p>Kaidan sighed as he did as we told, holding John until he eventually woke on his own.</p><p>Once Shepard was awake, Kaidan began stroking his lover's dark-blonde hair as a way to soothe his confused lover.</p><p>"Who? Where am I?" Shepard asked anxiously.</p><p>"You're in my room, baby. Do you know who I am, honey?" Kaidan asked as he brushed a stray hair from Shepard's brow.</p><p>"You're my K," Shepard whispered as he looked around the room.</p><p>"That's right, baby. You had a night terror, but you're okay now," Kaidan explained.</p><p>"I'm going to get my bag. I want to check his heart," Aleksander insisted as he left the room.</p><p>"Is his heart still racing, Kaidan?" Elena asked in concern.</p><p>"Yeah— it's pretty fast," Kaidan admitted as his father returned. "John, Dad is going to examine you, okay."</p><p>Shepard said nothing— he just nodded in understanding.</p><p>"This won't hurt a bit," Aleksander said with a smile as he thoroughly examined the young blonde.</p><p>"Well— how's he doing, Dad?" Kaidan asked, noticing the concerned look on his father's face.</p><p>"He has severe tachycardia. We need to try to calm him. John, I need you to take deep breaths. Can you do that for me?" Aleksander asked as he continued to monitor the young man.</p><p>Shepard nodded as he did as he was told— breathing deeply until— eventually— his heart rate was within an acceptable range.</p><p>"Do you feel better, son?" Aleksander asked as he rubbed Shepard's back gently.</p><p>Shepard nodded.</p><p>"Is he going to be okay, Dad?" Kaidan asked nervously.</p><p>"For now— but he needs to see a heart specialist. I would be happy to suggest a physician if the young man is interested," Aleksander offered.</p><p>"I'm sure John would appreciate it, Dad," Kaidan replied as he stroked his lover's dark-blonde hair.</p><p>"I'll contact a friend of mine and see what he thinks of the situation. If he agrees with me, we'll set up an appointment for the boy soon," Aleksander explained as he checked Shepard's heart one last time.</p><p>"Thanks, Dad. I really appreciate it," Kaidan admitted with a grateful smile.</p><p>"Well, he seems to be okay now," Aleksander said with an understanding smile. "Elena and I will take our leave. Let us know if you two need anything."</p><p>"Thanks, Dad," Kaidan said with a grateful smile.</p><p>"I hope you're feeling better, John," Elena said as she took her husband's hand.</p><p>"Wait," Shepard finally spoke, causing the Alenkos to look his way—</p><p>"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you," Shepard sincerely apologized.</p><p>"That's okay, son. You weren't at fault," Aleksander insisted, "It was just a dream."</p><p>"Thank you. That's kind of you to say," Shepard said as he sat up in bed, "I appreciate what you're doing for me— with the heart specialist and everything."</p><p>"It's my pleasure, son. It might not be anything, but it's better to be safe than sorry— especially when it comes to the heart. Well, we'll give you your privacy. Goodnight, Son. John," Aleksander said as he led his wife out of the room.</p><p>"Goodnight," the two young men called out in unison as they watched the door shut behind the couple.</p><p>"I'm sorry, K. I didn't mean to scare you," Shepard apologized with a sad look in his eyes.</p><p>"It's okay, baby. It wasn't your fault," Kaidan assured his love as he gently rubbed his back. "Do you wanna try to get some rest?"</p><p>"Yeah. Okay," Shepard nodded as he allowed Kaidan to hold him once more.</p><p>Shepard's heart sank when he saw the small bruise forming along his lover's jaw. </p><p>"I hurt you, baby—" </p><p>"I'm okay, honey. It was an accident," Kaidan assured his love.</p><p>"I'm so sorry," Shepard cried as he kissed the small bruise.</p><p>"Shh— it's okay. I'm okay. Let's get some sleep, eh," Kaidan insisted as he held his lover tight.</p><p>"I love you, K," Shepard whispered as he finally drifted off to sleep.</p><p>"I love you too, John," Kaidan whispered as he kissed Shepard on the top of the head.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The next morning—</b>
</p><p>"Wake up, honey," Kaidan whispered as he kissed the shell of Shepard's ear. </p><p>"No— fuck off," Shepard growled as he covered his head with the sheet.</p><p>Kaidan couldn't help but snicker. 'He's a devil in the mornings.'</p><p>"John, baby— I wouldn't wake you if it wasn't important. You have a lunch date with the scout from Vancouver. Your parents and Zaeed are going to meet us there," Kaidan reminded his love, causing Shepard to bolt upright in the bed.</p><p>"I'm up," Shepard insisted as he tried to focus his eyes.</p><p>"I'm glad that worked. I was fearful for my life," Kaidan chuckled as he kissed the blue-eyed beauty.</p><p>"Huh?" Shepard asked in confusion.</p><p>Kaidan shook his head in amusement. "Nevermind, honey."</p><p>Kaidan kissed Shepard quickly as he headed towards his dresser.</p><p>"You have the best ass I've ever seen," Shepard praised as he watched his naked lover closely. "It goes straight to my dick every goddamn time."</p><p>"Easy, baby," Kaidan warned, "We can't get distracted, or we'll be late."</p><p>"Not if you fuck me in the shower," Shepard suggested in a dead-serious tone.</p><p>"Seriously? You have the highest sex-drive I've ever seen," Kaidan laughed in amusement.</p><p>"Yeah— I've been like that since I was thirteen. I dunno why," Shepard shrugged.</p><p>Kaidan's smile turned to a frown as he considered the possible reasons. Kaidan wanted to tell him it was because it's what he was taught, but he didn't have the heart to hurt his lover by dredging up the past.</p><p>"You got awfully quiet. Did I offend you by asking for sex?" Shepard asked, his brow furrowed in confusion. "I'm sorry. You can ignore me when I say something stupid. I don't mean to be offensive."</p><p>"John, stop," Kaidan insisted in a serious tone that made Shepard tense.</p><p>"Stop what?" Shepard asked in an almost innocent and childlike tone.</p><p>'He really doesn't understand,' Kaidan thought to himself.</p><p>"Stop apologizing for everything. There's no need for it. You have the right to speak your mind, and you shouldn't have to apologize for it. I swear— I just don't understand you sometimes. I've watched you interact with people for the past year now, and you <b>always</b> say what you think. You <b>never </b>apologize for anything you say. So— why do you always feel the need to apologize to me?" Kaidan asked curiously.</p><p>Shepard remained quiet as he stared down at his hands.</p><p>"Say something, John," Kaidan demanded as he turned to stare at his lover.</p><p>"I don't know why," Shepard whispered, his voice quivering as he spoke. "Aaron used to get mad at me over it too. But— I just can't stop doing it. Aaron said it was because I was so afraid of being alone, but that ain't it. I've been alone most of my goddamn life— that don't bother me. There are ways to ease loneliness. I guess the truth was— I didn't want to lose Aaron. I didn't want him to stop loving me because of the way that I am," Shepard explained as he kissed the silver ring on his left hand. "I guess that's why I do it— because I'm afraid that you won't love me no more. I apologize so you won't be upset with me. I'll try to do better. I swear, I will."</p><p>Kaidan said nothing— he just held his lover tight.</p><p>"Are you still pissed at me?" Shepard asked nervously.</p><p>"No, honey. I'm not pissed," Kaidan assured his lover as he brushed a stray hair from Shepard's too-blue eyes.</p><p>'How can a man so strong be so unbelievably vulnerable at the same time?' Kaidan asked himself silently.</p><p>"We better take that shower, eh," Kaidan suggested as he kissed his lover.</p><p>"Yeah. I didn't bring nothin' with me. Can I borrow some of your clothes?" Shepard asked anxiously.</p><p>"Sure. My jeans might be a bit baggy on you, but I think they'll work," Kaidan replied as he helped his lover rise from the bed. "We better hurry if we don't want to be late."</p><p>"Agreed," Shepard grinned as Kaidan led him to the washroom.</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Later that afternoon—</b>
</p><p>"It was a pleasure meeting you. We're looking forward to having you in our family," the scout said with a smile, "We'll work out all the details, and come draft day, you will officially become one of the Vancouver Canucks."</p><p>"I'm looking forward to it. It's been my dream since I was six years old. The only thing I'd like to request is to keep my number. The number 7 means a lot to me," Shepard explained truthfully.</p><p>"I'm sure that won't be a problem. I'll keep in touch. Good luck in the finals," the scout grinned as he turned to leave.</p><p>"One more thing," Shepard called out, causing the young scout to look his way. "There's a player in the CHL— he plays for Ottawa— the Knights. His name is Ryan Walker. I've played with him for years, and we flow really well together. He's from Vancouver, and he'd love to come home. He's damn good. I thought you should know."</p><p>"I've seen Walker. We were hesitant to make an offer due to his ongoing contract. But if you're certain he's interested— I'll look into it," the scout promised with a smile. </p><p>"Thanks," Shepard grinned as he watched the scout exit the parking lot.</p><p>"You are goddamn brilliant," Zaeed insisted with a grin. "Since when am I your personal manager."</p><p>"Since noon, I guess," Shepard chuckled.</p><p>"Son, you are a very good negotiator. I wouldn't be surprised if you took your entire line with you," Anderson grinned in amusement.</p><p>"I don't know about that," Shepard shrugged. "I hope Ryan gets an offer. He fucking deserves it."</p><p>"I have a feeling he will," Anderson said with a wink.</p><p>"My baby's gonna be a Canuck! I'm so proud of you, sweetheart," Kahlee smiled as she kissed her son's cheek. </p><p>"Hailey's going to flip. She's going to be so excited for you," Kaidan said as he slapped his lover on the back.</p><p>"Well, I have to get to practise," Shepard announced as he kissed his lover goodbye.</p><p>"I'll go get your gear," Kaidan insisted as he made his way to the car.</p><p>"Just dump it in the back of my car," Zaeed instructed. "Shepard can ride with me."</p><p>"I warn you— it stinks. I didn't air it out last night," Shepard admitted with a sheepish grin.</p><p>"John— what am I going to do with you," Kahlee asked with a groan.</p><p>"I'll air it out tonight and wash everything then. I promise," Shepard said as he kissed his mother's forehead.</p><p>"I'll pick up a pizza for you tonight. I think you deserve a treat," Anderson insisted as he hugged his son goodbye.</p><p>"I'll see you guys tonight. K, baby— I'll see you after practise," Shepard said as he made his way to Zaeed's car.</p><p>"I'll see you then," Kaidan grinned as he watched his lover disappear into the car.</p><p>"Kaidan, you're welcome to have dinner with us tonight," Kahlee offered with a smile.</p><p>"I'd love to. I hate to go, but I have to head home. I promised my mother I'd help her with some invitations," Kaidan explained as he said his farewells before heading home—</p><p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p><p>"Guys, I'm home," Kaidan announced as he put his coat away.</p><p>"We're in the kitchen," Elena announced, causing Kaidan to seek them out.</p><p>"Hey," Kaidan greeted with a happy smile. "So— what did you think of John?"</p><p>"He's lovely and very— interesting," Elena said in a tone that made Kaidan very uneasy.</p><p>"About John—" Aleksander stated in a serious tone.</p><p>"What about John?" Kaidan asked nervously— his mind automatically thinking the worst about his lover's health.</p><p>"Son, we need to talk—"</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next Chapter:  Kaidan's parents have opinions about his relationship with Shepard—</p><p> </p><p>I hope you are enjoying the story so far. Only three more chapters to go. I hope you stick around for the end. Thanks for reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0033"><h2>33. Dread</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Kaidan's parents have strong opinions about their son's relationship with Shepard. Shepard runs into a woman who makes his blood run cold—</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Sweetheart, we need to discuss some things that have come to our attention," Elena explained.</p>
<p>"Is there something wrong? Is something wrong with John's heart?" Kaidan asked in a worried tone.</p>
<p>"No, son— this has nothing to do with John's heart," Aleksander assured his son.</p>
<p>"I see— Do you have an issue with John?" Kaidan asked anxiously.</p>
<p>"Not exactly. He seems like a fine young man. We just have some questions," Aleksander insisted.</p>
<p>"You don't think he's good enough for me," Kaidan surmised.</p>
<p>"Kaidan, that's not what this is about," Elena assured her son.</p>
<p>"Then what's it about, Mom? Enlighten me," Kaidan said in an angry tone.</p>
<p>"It's about what we witnessed last night," Aleksander said in a stern voice.</p>
<p>"What about it? He had a bad dream— I don't see why it's an issue," Kaidan said with a shrug.</p>
<p>"Kaidan, terrors, like that, are usually caused by trauma. We just want to know the young man's history. What happened to him?" Elena asked, her voice gentle as she spoke.</p>
<p>"I can't tell you that. It's not my place to talk about his past," Kaidan insisted, shaking his head for emphasis.</p>
<p>"Son, nothing you say will leave this room— you know that," Aleksander promised.</p>
<p>"Dad, I don't know if I'm comfortable talking about him without his permission," Kaidan admitted truthfully.</p>
<p>"Kaidan, baby— we need to know. We won't say anything, and we won't judge the boy. We promise," Elena said, trying her best to get her son to agree.</p>
<p>"Fine— he's a foster kid. He was in the system his entire life. He's only been with the Andersons for a year. He's not well-educated, but he's intelligent. You may not think so because of how he speaks, but he's one of the smartest people I know. He just has trouble with words. Is there anything else you want to know?" Kaidan asked anxiously.</p>
<p>"Son— you're dodging the question," Aleksander insisted in irritation.</p>
<p>"Kaidan, you're only telling us things we already knew. You told us all of this before you introduced us. And now, we want to know what happened to him," Elena explained.</p>
<p>"Think of the worst possible thing that could happen to a foster kid, and it's probably happened to John. Is that what you wanted to hear?" Kaidan asked in anger.</p>
<p>"We want to know the truth, Kaidan," Aleksander insisted.</p>
<p>"That <b>is </b>the truth! He was dreaming about being violated— is that what you wanted to hear?" Kaidan yelled, obviously upset with the situation.</p>
<p>The room grew silent as Elena and Aleksander stood in shocked silence. It was several moments before Elena finally found the words to speak—</p>
<p>"Kaidan, I'm so sorry that happened to John, but are you sure you can handle that? The nightmares— they're bound to happen again, you know that— don't you? Sweetheart, people that have suffered great trauma— they can grow to be unstable. Sometimes the trauma is so overwhelming that it causes severe psychological issues— issues that they can never overcome. If this has happened to John— will you be able to handle that? Will you be able to deal with the constant stress that kind of relationship entails?" Elena asked, obviously concerned for her son.</p>
<p>"I can handle it, Mom. It isn't that bad," Kaidan insisted.</p>
<p>"I didn't want to mention this, but I feel it's necessary— what are those pills he's always taking?" Aleksander asked in a serious tone.</p>
<p>"What are you talking about? What pills?" Kaidan asked, knowing— exactly— what his father was talking about but refusing to admit it.</p>
<p>"We saw him taking something this morning. There were several bottles, so we were curious as to what they were," Elena explained.</p>
<p>"Were you spying on him?" Kaidan asked in annoyance.</p>
<p>"No— of course not! It was an accident. We didn't even confront him about it. We respected his privacy," Elena insisted.</p>
<p>"Yet— here you are— questioning me," Kaidan laughed bitterly.</p>
<p>"Kaidan, we love you, and we just want what's best for you. You don't need to associate yourself with a drug addict. These athletes, they start out taking things to ease the pain—" Aleksander's words were cut short by Kaidan.</p>
<p>"Stop right there! John is <b>not </b>an addict! Those weren't opiates he was taking. He was taking his medication. And he was taking it properly. He doesn't abuse drugs," Kaidan insisted.</p>
<p>"Why is he on medication? What's wrong with him?" Elena asked in a tone that demanded an answer.</p>
<p>"He has seizures on occasion, so he takes anti-seizure medication," Kaidan said with a shrug.</p>
<p>"That explains one of the drugs," Aleksander said, his brow cocked in annoyance. "What about the others?"</p>
<p>"If I tell you— please— don't let on that you know. I don't want John to feel like I betrayed him," Kaidan pleaded.</p>
<p>"We promise— John will never know that we know," Elena insisted.</p>
<p>"John has schizoaffective disorder. He's on mood stabilizers and other things to help control it. He also takes a depot shot every two weeks for his anti-psychotic medication. He's meticulous about taking his medication, so you don't have to worry about him refusing to take it," Kaidan explained nervously.</p>
<p>"Have you ever witnessed one of his episodes?" Aleksander asked curiously.</p>
<p>"Well— no. Why do you ask?" Kaidan asked in confusion.</p>
<p>"So, you have no idea whether or not he's violent," Elena asked anxiously.</p>
<p>"No, but I'm positive I can handle it," Kaidan insisted.</p>
<p>"Son, are you sure you want to continue this relationship?" Aleksander asked, hoping his son would reconsider.</p>
<p>"I'm positive," Kaidan answered simply.</p>
<p>"Kaidan, baby— do you realize just how difficult this relationship will be? Think about what you want out of life. Think of your goals. Are you really going to have time to take care of someone like John?" Elena asked seriously.</p>
<p>"I love him— more than I've ever loved anyone. He's worth it, Mom. I'll make it work. I won't give him up. I'll do whatever I have to. I'm sorry if that upsets you, but that's my decision," Kaidan insisted.</p>
<p>"If that's your decision— we won't interfere. We just wanted to voice our concerns, and let you know, that we aren't thrilled with the relationship," Aleksander explained truthfully.</p>
<p>"Will you accept him, or are we going to have a problem?" Kaidan asked seriously. "Because if you can't accept John, then you might as well not accept me either."</p>
<p>"Of course we'll accept John. And <b>if</b> he— <strong>somehow</strong>— ends up being the one for you, then we will welcome him with open arms. We're just wary of the relationship, just as you should be. We don't want you to get hurt. Do you understand, sweetheart?" Elena asked as she tried to explain their stance.</p>
<p>"I understand," Kaidan nodded slowly. "Now, if you're finished looking for an excuse to dislike him— I have to get ready to pick him up from hockey practice. And, not that you care, but he's going to be signing a full NHL contract soon. So, yeah— John's doing just fine."</p>
<p>"Kaidan," Elena called out as her son stormed off to his bedroom. </p>
<p>"He'll be fine. Soon, he'll realize that we meant well, and all will be forgiven. Kaidan's a good boy, after all," Aleksander insisted.</p>
<p>"I hope you're right," Elena smiled as she hugged her husband tight. </p>
<p>"You'll see—"</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Later that evening—</b>
</p>
<p>"Is it true you're being scouted by several NHL teams?" The reporter asked as he pushed the mic closer to Shepard.</p>
<p>"Yeah, but I've already chosen where I'll be going. It's just a technicality at this point," Shepard explained with a grin.</p>
<p>"Can you tell us where you'll be heading?" The reporter asked curiously.</p>
<p>"If everything goes as planned— I'll still be in Vancouver. Take that as you will," Shepard winked as he continued towards the locker room.</p>
<p>Once Shepard had showered and said goodbye to his teammates, the blue-eyed blonde headed straight for the parking lot—</p>
<p>"Hey, babe," Shepard greeted Kaidan with a wink and a smile as he hugged his lover tight. "Ready to head home?"</p>
<p>"I am," Kaidan smiled as he watched his lover place his gear in the trunk.</p>
<p>"What's wrong?" Shepard asked, his brow furrowed in confusion.</p>
<p>"Huh?" Kaidan asked nervously.</p>
<p>"You look upset," Shepard admitted. "Did something happen?"</p>
<p>"No— everything's fine," Kaidan smiled as he got into the driver's seat.</p>
<p>"Are you sure?" Shepard asked as he got into the passenger's side.</p>
<p>"Positive," Kaidan grinned as he kissed his lover's hand.</p>
<p>"Okay," Shepard sighed just as his phone began to buzz. "Shepard," the blue-eyed boy greeted— simply— as he answered his phone.</p>
<p>"Hey, Walker," Shepard grinned as he spoke. "Hold on— I'm gonna put you on speaker."</p>
<p>"You aren't driving, are you?" Ryan asked curiously.</p>
<p>"Not today. K's driving. We're in his car," Shepard explained.</p>
<p>"Hey, Kaidan. How's my Baby Boy doing? Is he getting better?" Ryan asked anxiously.</p>
<p>"He's doing <b>much </b>better. His appetite has returned. And his colour is almost back to normal," Kaidan replied with a grin.</p>
<p>"He's taking good care of me," Shepard insisted.</p>
<p>"He better," Ryan chuckled.</p>
<p>"Hey, blue-eyes. We miss you," Alex stated loudly.</p>
<p>"Hey, Alex. I miss you guys too," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p>
<p>"So— I just got an offer to play for the Canucks. And they said that I came highly recommended. Did you happen to have anything to do with that?" Ryan asked in an amused tone.</p>
<p>"Goddamn, they work fast. Yeah— that was me. If I'm gonna play for 'em, I need to have a familiar face around me," Shepard explained with a grin.</p>
<p>"Seriously!? Did you already sign?" Ryan asked anxiously.</p>
<p>"Not yet, but it's as good as done. They're just getting the details ironed out. Are you gonna sign, or are you gonna leave me all alone?" Shepard asked with a pout.</p>
<p>"Are you kidding? Of course, I'm signing. Alex can't wait to come home, and frankly, he ain't the only one," Ryan chuckled.</p>
<p>"I'm glad to hear it. I fucking miss you guys," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p>
<p>"Same here, Baby Boy. Hopefully, we'll be home soon. Well, I gotta go. I'm fucking starving, and Alex just ordered takeout."</p>
<p>"Okay. I'll talk to you soon, eh. I love you. I love you too, Alex," Shepard said with a smile.</p>
<p>"I love you too, blue-eyes," Alex yelled back.</p>
<p>"I love you, Baby Boy. I'll talk to you later," Ryan promised as he ended the call.</p>
<p>"He's very attached to you," Kaidan observed as he continued to keep an eye on the road.</p>
<p>"Yeah. We're really close. It's just the two of us now. You ain't jealous, are you?" Shepard asked nervously.</p>
<p>"Maybe a little. Envious is a better word," Kaidan admitted.</p>
<p>"Why are you envious," Shepard asked in confusion.</p>
<p>"He's known you longer than anyone. He probably knows you better than anyone, too," Kaidan explained with a shrug.</p>
<p>"I guess," Shepard shrugged, feeling uneasy with the conversation.</p>
<p>"You never considered dating him?" Kaidan asked curiously. </p>
<p>"No— We love each other, but not like that— we just ain't meant for that. I can't explain it," Shepard said as he gave up trying to explain.</p>
<p>"I think I understand," Kaidan nodded.</p>
<p>"K, please, don't ever be jealous of Walker. He's my family, yeah," Shepard pleaded.</p>
<p>"I'll try not to be jealous. Well, we're almost home. I can't stay the night, but I'll stay for dinner," Kaidan promised.</p>
<p>"Okay," Shepard nodded. "I love you, K."</p>
<p>"I love you too, honey," Kaidan smiled as he pulled into the drive.</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>Once dinner was over, Kaidan reluctantly made his way home, leaving Shepard to spend the rest of the evening with his family.</p>
<p>"Son, I won't be able to take you for your shot tomorrow. I was hoping to ask Kaidan to take you, but it slipped my mind," Anderson explained with an apologetic look.</p>
<p>"That's okay," Shepard assured his father. "Kaidan's helping his mom, so he can't go. So, I'll take my bike and take care of it."</p>
<p>"Are you sure?" Anderson asked.</p>
<p>"Yeah. I'll go— after school. We don't have to practise tomorrow, so I'll have the time," Shepard explained with a smile.</p>
<p>"Loco, I want you to spin me 'round," Hailey said as she tugged on Shepard's shirt.</p>
<p>"Okay," Shepard grinned as he picked his sister up, "I'll spin you."</p>
<p>Anderson and Kahlee watched in amusement as Shepard spun the little angel 'round-and-'round, causing her to giggle in amusement.</p>
<p>"It's been a while since we've seen them like this," Kahlee mused.</p>
<p>"It really has," Anderson agreed. "I think it's a good sign. If Shepard feels good enough to keep up with Hailey, he must be feeling pretty damn good."</p>
<p>"Let's hope he keeps feeling good," Kahlee said with a smile.</p>
<p>Shepard played with Hailey well up into the night. It wasn't until Kahlee insisted that Hailey go to bed that the two finally stopped.</p>
<p>"That was fun, Loco. I love you," Hailey said as she kissed her brother's cheek. "Goodnight."</p>
<p>"Goodnight, angel. Love you, " Shepard smiled as he hugged his sister tight.</p>
<p>"Come on, baby," Kahlee said as she led her daughter to her room.</p>
<p>"Well, I better try and get some sleep," Shepard announced as he turned to head to his room.</p>
<p>"Are you not sleeping well, Son?" Anderson asked in concern.</p>
<p>"I just had a bad dream last night. It's nothing serious," Shepard assured his father, "Goodnight, Daddy."</p>
<p>"Goodnight, Son," Anderson smiled as he watched his son disappear down the hall.</p>
<p>
  <strong>~~~☆~~~</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Later that night—</b>
</p>
<p><em> 'Are you still awake?' </em>The voice asked in a slightly annoyed manner.</p>
<p>"Yeah. I can't stop thinking. I'm worried about Kaidan. He was upset, but he wouldn't tell me why," Shepard explained nervously.</p>
<p><em> 'You're paranoid— now get some fucking sleep,' </em>the voice demanded.</p>
<p>"Yeah. I hope you're right," Shepard said as he turned onto his side and closed his tired blue eyes.</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>The next morning, Shepard woke to a knock on his bedroom door—</p>
<p>"John, sweetheart— you overslept. Are you awake?" Kahkee asked, hoping her son could hear her.</p>
<p>"Yeah. I'm up," Shepard said as he rubbed his face.</p>
<p>"Your breakfast is on the table. I'm going on ahead. Try not to dawdle. Be careful on your bike," Kahlee informed her son.</p>
<p>"Okay. I shouldn't be too late," Shepard promised as he slowly got dressed. </p>
<p><em> 'You should have listened when I told you to get some sleep,' </em>the voice said in a disappointed tone.</p>
<p>"I tried! Stop bitching at me," Shepard insisted as he made his way to the kitchen—</p>
<p>"I ain't really hungry, so I'm just gonna go," Shepard said as he emptied his plate.</p>
<p><em> 'Not again,' </em>the voice sighed.</p>
<p>"Relax— I ain't sick. I'm just in a goddamn hurry," Shepard assured the voice as he quickly made his way to the garage.</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>Shepard made it to school with just a few minutes to spare—</p>
<p>"There you are," Kaidan grinned. "I thought you weren't coming."</p>
<p>"Yeah. I overslept," Shepard admitted as he gave Kaidan a quick kiss.</p>
<p>"Did you finish your homework?" Kaidan asked curiously.</p>
<p>"Fuck! No— I totally forgot. I was playing with Hailey, and it totally slipped my mind," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p>
<p>"How much did you have left?" Kaidan asked, hoping they could work something out.</p>
<p>"I ain't sure. My mind is all over the place, and I can't fucking remember," Shepard replied as he hit the side of his head in frustration. "Fucking stupid!"</p>
<p>"Don't do that. I hate it when you do that," Kaidan said as he took Shepard's hand. "I can help you during lunch. I think you'll be fine as long you turn it in before the end of the day. They're pretty lenient with you because of your memory issues."</p>
<p>"Yeah. I fucking hate that I can't remember stuff. It fucking sucks," Shepard admitted as they walked towards the building.</p>
<p>"I think you're handling it well. You're doing great," Kaidan smiled as the starting bell rang out.</p>
<p>"Yeah— you say that now," Shepard laughed as they made their way into the building.</p>
<p>The rest of the day went by without a hitch. And just as Kaidan had promised, he assisted Shepard with his homework, making sure the assignments were handed in before the end of the day.</p>
<p>After lunch, Shepard found himself with nothing to do. There was no practise and no classes for Shepard to attend— leaving him bored and full of nervous energy.</p>
<p>"I feel like I was supposed to do something today, but I dunno," Shepard said to himself as he tried turning on his phone— </p>
<p>"Shit. I forgot to charge the goddamn thing. Now I can't check my motherfucking calendar," Shepard said in frustration.</p>
<p><em> 'That sounds like you,' </em> the voice teased. <em> 'Well, you can't stay here. You're not allowed on campus if you don't have any classes.' </em></p>
<p>"I know. I guess I'll have to wait to text K," Shepard sighed as he made his way to the parking lot.</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>Shepard spent the rest of the day on the beach— just taking the time to enjoy the sound of the waves— closing his eyes as the feeling of peace washed over him.</p>
<p>It wasn't until dusk that he finally decided to move—</p>
<p>"I'm hungry," Shepard admitted aloud as he made his way to his parked motorcycle.</p>
<p><em> 'There's a restaurant not far from here. They even have salmon. You can eat without breaking your diet— I know how you hate to disappoint your mom,' </em>the voice suggested with a snicker.</p>
<p>"You laugh, but Mom is scary as fuck when she's mad," Shepard admitted as he made his way to the restaurant.</p>
<p>
  <em> 'It ain't very crowded. I think you should eat-in. It's too fucking cold to eat outside.' </em>
</p>
<p>"Yeah, I think you're right," Shepard nodded as he entered the restaurant.</p>
<p>Shepard was pleasantly surprised when he saw that the restaurant was nearly empty. Once he made his order— a Cajun salmon burger with a Caesar salad for the side— he found a small table by the window.</p>
<p>"Here you are. One Cajun salmon burger with a side of Caesar salad," the waitress smiled as she placed his order on the table. "Would you like anything else?"</p>
<p>"No— this will be all, thanks," Shepard smiled as he took a drink of his water.</p>
<p>"Just let me know if you need anything, and I do mean <strong>anything</strong>," the waitress said with a suggestive wink.</p>
<p><em> 'They're determined— I'll give 'em that,' </em>the voice laughed in amusement.</p>
<p>"Yeah. I don't mind it. They're harmless," Shepard shrugged as he took a bite of his burger.</p>
<p>"That's Shepard— the hockey player everyone's talking about. He's so gorgeous. Those blue eyes are so intense," the waitress gushed to her friend, unable to wipe the smile from her face.</p>
<p>"He's gay, though. So— you're wasting your time," her friend chuckled in amusement.</p>
<p>"Trust me— if he's a hockey player— he's bi. Hockey players will fuck anyone when they're horny," the waitress insisted. </p>
<p>"I hate to disappoint you, but you're wrong," her friend informed her with a grin. "He's 100% gay."</p>
<p>"I could change his mind," the waitress grinned as she watched the blue-eyed blonde closely. "Damn, he's hot."</p>
<p>"Yeah, Shepard's gonna look damn fine in a Canucks jersey," her friend admitted as she cleaned the counter.</p>
<p>"I wonder how much they offered him?" The waitress asked curiously.</p>
<p>"Oh, you can bet it was a pretty penny. He's so damn good on the ice," her friend said with a nod.</p>
<p>"Excuse me," a woman— no older than thirty-two— with honey-blonde hair and copper-coloured eyes asked as she placed her elbows on the counter, "But did you say the name Shepard?"</p>
<p>"That's right— John Shepard. He's a big-shot hockey player whose career is about to blow up," the waitress smiled. "Haven't you heard of him?"</p>
<p>"I have— I've just never gotten a very good look at him," the woman admitted as she tapped the table in nervous habit.</p>
<p>"He's gorgeous," the waitress cooed.</p>
<p>"You should keep your voice down— he's sitting right over there," her friend scolded, causing the woman at the counter to tense. "Ignore her— may I take your order?"</p>
<p>"Uh— yeah. I'll have the Pacific salmon burger with the Caesar salad," the woman replied with a smile.</p>
<p>"Is that for here or to go?" The young lady asked as she typed in the order. </p>
<p>"To go, please," the copper-eyed woman replied.</p>
<p>"What drink would you like?" </p>
<p>"Diet Coke," the woman stated simply.</p>
<p>"It'll be ready shortly," the waitress smiled. "What name do I call?"</p>
<p>"Shepard— Hannah Shepard," the woman replied, causing the young women to stare at her curiously.</p>
<p>"No relation," the older woman chuckled as she waited for her order.</p>
<p>"Okay. That was quite a coincidence," the waitress laughed.</p>
<p>"Indeed," Hannah smiled as she took a seat at the nearby table. Eventually, she decided to chance a glance at the blue-eyed blonde. "Hmm—"</p>
<p>Hannah watched as the young blonde paid his cheque.</p>
<p>"Thanks for the tip, handsome," the waitress called out with a wink.</p>
<p>"No problem," Shepard smiled as he turned to exit the restaurant— stopping in his tracks as he felt a cold shiver run through him. </p>
<p>Unable to help himself, he turned his head and ended up staring into a pair of copper orbs. It only took a second for Shepard to break eye contact before he made his way out of the building.</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>"That was goddamn weird," Shepard said as he shivered in the night air. "My fucking skin feels like it's crawling."</p>
<p><em> 'So— you got no idea what that was about?' </em>The voice asked curiously.</p>
<p>"Not a fucking clue. It's probably just me. I get paranoid like that sometimes," Shepard reminded the voice.</p>
<p><em> 'That's true,' </em> the voice admitted.   </p>
<p>"I can't fucking breathe," Shepard said as he tried to catch his breath.</p>
<p><em> 'You're having a goddamn panic-attack! Focus on something— like your bike— focus on her. Take a deep breath, and try to calm the fuck down,' </em> the voice instructed anxiously.</p>
<p>Shepard did as he was told and— eventually— his breathing calmed.  </p>
<p><em> 'What the fuck brought that on?' </em> The voice asked curiously.  </p>
<p>"That woman— the one from the restaurant— there was something about her— she made me feel wrong. I got an overwhelming sense of dread just by looking at her, and I don't know why," Shepard explained nervously.  </p>
<p><em> 'Well, it's over now. Let's head home, eh,' </em> the voice suggested.  </p>
<p>"Fuck!" Shepard called out in pain as he covered his left eye.  </p>
<p><em> 'Well, ain't that just peachy!? A cluster headache at the worst goddamn time— as if the panic attack wasn't bad enough,' </em> the voice sighed.</p>
<p>"There ain't no way I can drive home," Shepard admitted as he paced the parking lot.</p>
<p>"Shepard, are you okay?" A familiar voice called out, causing Shepard to seek out the speaker.</p>
<p>"Elliot? What are you doing here?" Shepard asked curiously.</p>
<p>"I'm taking my little girl home, and she wanted burgers for dinner," Elliot grinned as he showed Shepard the takeout bag.</p>
<p>"That's nice," Shepard said as he paced the parking lot.</p>
<p>"What's wrong, beautiful?" Elliot asked, his voice full of concern.</p>
<p>"I got a fucking cluster headache, and I can't drive home," Shepard explained truthfully.</p>
<p>"I can drive you— just give me about ten minutes. Deidre lives nearby, so it won't take long. Do you wanna meet my little girl?"</p>
<p>"Sure," Shepard nodded as Elliot stood aside, revealing a tiny little girl with big chocolate-coloured eyes.</p>
<p>"Angel, this is Daddy's friend, Shepard. Shepard, this is Angelina," Elliot introduced them with a smile.</p>
<p>"Hi," Angel waved as she smiled brightly at the blue-eyed teen.</p>
<p>"Hi," Shepard waved with a smile. </p>
<p>"He's pretty, Daddy," Angel giggled as she waved at Shepard.</p>
<p>"That he is," Elliot agreed with a grin.</p>
<p>"Thank you. So are you," Shepard smiled as he spoke. "She's beautiful, Elliot."</p>
<p>"Thanks. Well, I'm gonna go take her home. I'll be back in a few minutes," Elliot promised. "Don't go anywhere, eh."</p>
<p>"I won't," Shepard assured his ex.</p>
<p>True to his word, Elliot returned a few minutes later—</p>
<p>"I can drive you home, then catch an Uber back— if you don't mind me driving her, that is," Elliot offered.</p>
<p>"That's fine. Can we go now, please?" Shepard asked, eager to get to his medication. </p>
<p>"Sure," Elliot grinned as he put on a helmet before reaching one to Shepard. "Hold on tight, eh."</p>
<p>"Will do," Shepard said as he wrapped his arms around Elliot's waist.</p>
<p>It didn't take long for them to arrive at Shepard's place— </p>
<p>"Thanks, Elliot. I appreciate it," Shepard said gratefully.</p>
<p>"Do I get a kiss for my trouble?" Elliot asked with a grin. </p>
<p>"Sure," Shepard agreed as he kissed Elliot slowly. "You can come in if you want. I really gotta take that medicine, so—"</p>
<p>"I understand. I'll just call an Uber and be on my way," Elliot smiled.</p>
<p>"You can come in and wait. I don't mind, Elliot," Shepard insisted.</p>
<p>"Sure," Elliot agreed as he followed Shepard into the house.</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>Elliot watched, closely, as Shepard prepared his injection.</p>
<p>"Do you still get those headaches often?" Elliot asked as he watched Shepard inject himself with the medication.</p>
<p>"Not a whole lot. My boyfriend gets migraines all the time— a lot more frequently than I get cluster headaches," Shepard replied as he handed Elliot a beer.</p>
<p>"Thanks," Elliot grinned as he opened his beer. "So— that guy you were talking to — he's your boyfriend now?"</p>
<p>"Yeah. He's a great guy," Shepard said with a smile.</p>
<p>"What's he like?" Elliot asked as he took a long drink of beer.</p>
<p>"He's my exact opposite. The only thing even remotely the same is that we're both stubborn as hell," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p>
<p>"And that works for you?" Elliot asked curiously.</p>
<p>"So far— yeah." </p>
<p>"I'm glad. You look good. You're not so pale anymore," Elliot smiled.</p>
<p>"Yeah. Apparently, I'm anemic," Shepard chuckled. "It's under control now."</p>
<p>"That's good. Hey, beautiful— did you ever get diagnosed properly?" Elliot asked nervously.  </p>
<p>"You mean my mental stuff?" Shepard asked curiously.</p>
<p>"Yeah. I know it's none of my business— it's just— I remember how they used to just dope you up— like they weren't even trying to help you— like they didn't give a fuck what happened to you. I fucking hated that. Look, I understand if you'd rather not tell me," Elliot assured the young blonde.</p>
<p>"It's fine. Uh— yeah. I'm schizoaffective with manic episodes," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p>
<p>"Is that bad? I mean— is it hard to live with?" Elliot asked with a sad tone.</p>
<p>"Sometimes," Shepard nodded. "I feel bad for the people around me, though. I put them through hell sometimes."</p>
<p>"You're worth it, though," Elliot assured the young blonde.</p>
<p>"Nah. Not really," Shepard disagreed as Elliot's phone buzzed.</p>
<p>"Well, my ride is out front. Thanks for the beer, beautiful. I'll call you later to check on you— if you don't mind," Elliot promised as he kissed Shepard goodbye.</p>
<p>"I'd like that. Have a good night, Elliot," Shepard grinned, "I love you, you ass."  </p>
<p>"Later, beautiful, and I love you too, <strong>always</strong>," Elliot called out with a wink as he exited the house.</p>
<p>"Were you talking to someone," Anderson asked as he walked into the kitchen.</p>
<p>"Yeah— Elliot was here. He drove my bike back for me. I got a fucking cluster headache and couldn't drive home," Shepard explained.</p>
<p>"That's your old boyfriend, isn't it," Anderson asked as he sat down on a stool.</p>
<p>"Yep. He's a nice guy— when he wants to be," Shepard joked with a cheeky grin. </p>
<p>"Has your headache eased?" Anderson asked curiously.</p>
<p>"A little. It still hurts like a motherfucker," Shepard admitted.</p>
<p>"Did you eat anything?" Anderson asked.</p>
<p>"Yep. I got a bad feeling when I was at the restaurant, though. I have no idea why. I just felt like my skin was crawling. It was so goddamn strange. I got this overwhelming sense of dread. It threw me into a goddamn panic-attack. I don't know what the fuck's going on with me," Shepard explained nervously.</p>
<p>"Are you sure you're feeling okay?" Anderson asked seriously.</p>
<p>"You think it's the start of an episode?" Shepard asked nervously.</p>
<p>"I don't know. Do you feel okay?" Anderson asked in concern.</p>
<p>"Yeah. I feel fine. I mean— I didn't sleep too good last night, but other than that— I'm good," Shepard replied truthfully.</p>
<p>"Hn. Well, you let me know if you start feeling sick," Anderson insisted.</p>
<p>"I will. Well, I'm gonna go see if I can get some sleep. Goodnight. Love you, Daddy," Shepard said as he headed to his bedroom.</p>
<p>"I love you too," Anderson said as he watched his son disappear down the hall.</p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next Chapter:  Shepard meets someone he never expected to know—</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0034"><h2>34. DNA</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Shepard meets someone he never expected—</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>***WARNING***<br/>PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE<br/>PSYCHOLOGICAL ISSUES<br/>SUICIDAL THOUGHTS</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>For the next week or so, Shepard had trouble sleeping— no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't shut off his brain. The lack of sleep was starting to affect Shepard negatively, but he had somehow managed to keep himself together— often playing with Hailey to keep his mind occupied. But nothing lasts forever— as Shepard was about to learn first hand—</p>
<p>"Loco, come play with me," Hailey called out as she tugged on her brother's shirt.</p>
<p>"Alright," Shepard laughed as he picked her up, tossing her in the air before spinning her 'round-and-'round.</p>
<p>The house was filled with Hailey's laughter when there was a sudden knock at the door—</p>
<p>"Mom, someone's at the door. I can't answer it— I'm playing with Hailey," Shepard called out.</p>
<p>"I'll get it," Kahlee chuckled as she answered the door.</p>
<p>Standing behind the door was a woman with honey blonde hair and cold copper-coloured eyes—</p>
<p>"May I help you?" Kahlee asked casually.</p>
<p>"I hope so. Is this where John Shepard lives?" The woman asked curiously.</p>
<p>"Who, may I ask, is asking?" Kahlee asked cautiously.</p>
<p>"His mother," the woman replied seriously.</p>
<p>"His mother?" Kahlee asked in disbelief.</p>
<p>"That's right. My name is Hannah Shepard, and I'm here to see my son," the woman announced.</p>
<p>The name sent a chill down Kahlee's spine.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry, but I don't feel comfortable letting a total stranger into my home," Kahlee explained, not knowing how to handle the situation. "How do I even know if you're telling the truth?"</p>
<p>"How do I prove it to you? Do you want his birthdate or something?" Hannah asked in annoyance.</p>
<p>"Anyone can get his birthdate," Kahlee insisted as she started to close the door.</p>
<p>"I left him in the lobby of Vancouver General, two days after he was born," Hannah said as she stopped Kahlee from shutting the door. "Now, where is <b>my </b>son?"</p>
<p>"Show me your ID," Kahlee demanded.</p>
<p>"<em>Sigh— </em>fine," Hannah frowned in annoyance as she handed Kahlee her ID.</p>
<p>Kahlee considered her options, and not knowing what else to do, she allowed the woman to enter the house.</p>
<p>"John is playing with his little sister, and before I call for him— I have a few questions," Kahlee insisted as she returned the card to Hannah.</p>
<p>"I'm listening," Hannah shrugged as she looked around the room.</p>
<p>"Why are you here? You abandoned him seventeen years ago, so why seek him out now?" Kahlee asked anxiously.</p>
<p>"That's none of your business. That's between my son and me," Hannah insisted.</p>
<p>"<strong>My</strong> son is very much my business, and if you upset him in any way— I will not hesitate to throw you out. Am I clear?" Kahlee threatened, sensing an ill-intent in the woman's tone.</p>
<p>Hannah sighed in annoyance. "Look, lady, just let me see my son. I don't have all day."</p>
<p>Kahlee couldn't help but roll her eyes at the obnoxious woman.</p>
<p>"John, sweetheart, can you come here, please? You have a visitor," Kahlee called out.</p>
<p>Kahlee couldn't help but smile as she watched her son emerge from the hall with his sister on his back—</p>
<p>"Who is it? Is it Kaidan?" Shepard asked with laughter in his voice.</p>
<p>"No, baby— it's not Kaidan," Kahlee said as her smile faded into a frown.</p>
<p>Shepard's laughter stopped as he finally got a look at his guest. </p>
<p>"Who?" Shepard asked as he slowly put his sister down. </p>
<p>"Hailey, baby— go play in your room," Kahlee insisted.</p>
<p>"Mommy, is something wrong?" Hailey asked, noticing the tension in the room.</p>
<p>"No, baby. Nothing's wrong. Now, go play," Kahlee smiled as she watched her daughter disappear up the stairs.</p>
<p>"Mom, who is this lady?" Shepard asked nervously.</p>
<p>"John, sweetheart— this is—" Kahlee's words were cut off mid-sentence.</p>
<p>"I'm your mother," Hannah called out suddenly.</p>
<p>"My— my mother? That ain't right. She can't be," Shepard said, his heart racing as he tried to process the situation.</p>
<p><em> 'That would explain that odd feeling you got at the restaurant,' </em>the voice said anxiously.</p>
<p>"Mom, is she telling the truth? Is she my— my mother?" Shepard asked nervously.</p>
<p>"I think so. She says her name is Hannah Shepard," Kahlee nodded, frowning at the lost look in her son's too-blue eyes.</p>
<p><em> 'Well, she got the name right. What the hell is she doing here? I mean, why show up now?' </em>The voice asked in irritation.</p>
<p>"Why is she here?" Shepard asked, refusing to look in the strange woman's direction.</p>
<p>"I don't know," Kahlee admitted truthfully.</p>
<p>"I came to talk to you. Is that so hard to believe?" Hannah asked in an amused tone.</p>
<p>"It is, actually," Shepard replied. "I need to sit down."</p>
<p>"Okay, sweetheart," Kahlee said as she led her son to the couch. "Are you okay?"</p>
<p>"I'm okay," Shepard assured his mother with a weak smile before turning his attention to the strange woman, "Are you really my mother?"</p>
<p>"I am. Look, I'll be honest— I'm not here for some sappy reunion. I've always been the type to say what I mean. I don't pussyfoot around. I'm here because I see you, and I realize just how well you turned out. And I'd like to think I had a part in that," Hannah grinned.</p>
<p>"What?" Shepard asked in confusion.</p>
<p><em> 'How does she figure that one? Is she crazy?' </em>The voice asked in confusion.</p>
<p>"Yeah. I birthed you, so half of your genetic gifts came from me. And I made you tough, right. If I hadn't left you, you wouldn't be half the man you are," Hannah insisted. "Do you get what I'm saying?"</p>
<p>Kahlee, not liking where the conversation was heading, decided to speak up—</p>
<p>"You obviously have an agenda, so spare us the run-around and tell us what the hell it is that you want," Kahlee demanded.</p>
<p><em> 'She wants something— money would be my guess,' </em>the voice surmised.</p>
<p>'Yeah— it sure seems that way,' Shepard agreed silently.</p>
<p>"Fine. I hated dancing around the subject anyway. Look, kid, I did the hard part— I birthed you, so— I figure it's time for you to pay up," Hannah stated shamelessly.</p>
<p><em> 'I fucking knew it! Is this bitch for real?' </em>The voice asked in amusement.</p>
<p>"How dare you come in here and ask that of him? He doesn't owe you anything?" Kahlee asked, angry at the woman's unmitigated gall.</p>
<p>"Mom— it's okay," Shepard said in a quiet voice.</p>
<p>"There's a good boy," Hannah chuckled as she lit a cigarette. "Do you mind if I smoke?"</p>
<p>"I do, actually," Kahlee said as she took the cigarette from the woman's fingers. "We don't allow smoking in the house."</p>
<p>"Whatever," Hannah said, rolling her eyes in annoyance. "Now, back to what we were talking about."</p>
<p>"How much do you want?" Shepard asked nervously.</p>
<p>"John," Kahlee frowned, hoping her son wouldn't give in.</p>
<p>"It's alright, Mom," Shepard insisted. "How much?"</p>
<p>"I want half of whatever they offered you. You're a big-shot hockey player, so I know you're worth a mint," Hannah replied with a smirk.</p>
<p>"Before I give you a dime— I got some questions for you, and I want some goddamn answers," Shepard demanded. </p>
<p>"Fine. What do you wanna know?" Hannah asked with a shrug.</p>
<p>"I want the truth— no lies. I know you don't fucking care about me, so there's no need to sugarcoat anything," Shepard said in a serious tone.</p>
<p>"You're smarter than you look. Sure— I'll tell the truth," Hannah promised with a nod.</p>
<p>"Did you even consider keeping me?" Shepard asked nervously.</p>
<p>"No— I never did. Hell, I tried my best to get rid of you even before you were born. You were so damn stubborn.  You just grew and grew. You weren't a particularly big baby— you were about five pounds and change, that made birthing you a bit easier, but still, I never wanted you," Hannah admitted truthfully.</p>
<p>Kahlee was disgusted by the way the woman talked about her son. "You're sick."</p>
<p>"Whatever, lady. Get off your high-horse," Hannah snapped as she rolled her eyes at Kahlee.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry I survived if it ended up causing you pain," Shepard replied quietly.</p>
<p>"Baby, don't say that," Kahlee insisted as she rubbed her son's back.</p>
<p>"You should be happy— he's a considerate boy. Did you teach him that shit?" Hannah asked in a joking manner.</p>
<p>"You really are a monster," Kahlee whispered as she shook her head in disappointment.</p>
<p>"Oh, honey— I'm an angel compared to most," Hannah chuckled.</p>
<p>"Do I have any brothers or sisters?" Shepard asked curiously.</p>
<p>"Not that I know of. I can't have any kids. Having you made sure of that. I suppose I should thank you, though. I hate kids," Hannah laughed as Shepard looked at her in disbelief.</p>
<p>'I can't believe that's my mother,' Shepard thought sadly to himself.</p>
<p><em>'She's a cunt for sure. I'm glad you ain't like her,' </em>the voice admitted.</p>
<p>"Were you on drugs when you were carrying me? Do you have any health issues, like are you bipolar or—" Shepard was interrupted by his biological mother.</p>
<p>"I was a fifteen year old kid that wanted you out of me— of course— I dabbled in drugs. But I wasn't an addict. If something was wrong with you when you were born— well, that's not on me. I ain't crazy either— all that is on your father. He was the crazy one," Hannah explained.</p>
<p>"Who's my father?" Shepard asked as he stared at the wall.</p>
<p>"It's not important," Hannah said, shaking her head for emphasis.</p>
<p>"It's important to me. If you want your goddamn money, then answer the goddamn question," Shepard insisted in a demanding tone that shocked both Kahlee and Hannah.</p>
<p>"You're just like him," Hannah chuckled bitterly. </p>
<p>"Explain," Shepard demanded.</p>
<p>"You have the same foul mouth. You look like him too. Those same blue eyes— and that face— you seem to have his temper too," Hannah mused as she stared at her son. "You're father was a fucking monster."</p>
<p>"What's his name?" Shepard asked with tears in his eyes.</p>
<p>"What does it fucking matter? He didn't want you either. Hell, he's not even around anymore," Hannah chuckled.</p>
<p>"It fucking matters! Now, what's his name?" Shepard asked loudly.</p>
<p>"None of your goddamn business!" Hannah yelled.</p>
<p>Shepard started laughing. "You don't know his name, do you?" </p>
<p>"Listen, you goddamn ungrateful brat, that man is a fucking monster. I'm doing you a favour by not telling you," Hannah insisted.</p>
<p>"Whatever," Shepard said, "If you ain't gonna answer my questions, then get the fuck out!"</p>
<p>"Not until you pay me my due," Hannah insisted.</p>
<p>"My son doesn't owe you anything! I think it's time you left," Kahlee demanded.</p>
<p>"Listen, bitch— I want what's mine! Do you realize what his existence has done to me? That little bastard ruined my life! Now I want compensation," Hannah yelled, causing Shepard to rise to his feet.</p>
<p>"Don't you dare talk to my mom like that? You ain't got the right. Who the fuck do you think you are? You say I ruined your life— well, fuck you! You sure as hell didn't do me any goddamn favours," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p>
<p>"How dare you talk to me like that? I gave you life, you little bastard," Hannah yelled as she slapped Shepard hard across the face.</p>
<p>"Don't you fucking touch me, you goddamn bitch," Shepard screamed as he raised his hand to strike the obnoxious woman.</p>
<p>"John, stop," Kahlee yelled as she grabbed his arm, causing Shepard to jerk and elbow her in the side of the jaw.</p>
<p>"Oh, my god, Mom— I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to," Shepard cried as he began to panic.</p>
<p>"It's okay, baby. I'm okay. It was an accident," Kahlee explained as she tried her best to calm her son.</p>
<p>It was then that Hannah burst out into laughter. "Like father, like son. You really are your daddy's son. You're a monster, just like him," Hannah grinned in amusement.</p>
<p>"Get the hell out of my house! And if you ever come near <b>my </b>son again, you'll regret it," Kahlee warned as she watched the woman make her way to the door.</p>
<p>"This isn't over. He'll pay what he owes. I'll get my due," Hannah insisted as she exited the house.</p>
<p>Kahlee sighed as she turned her attention to her son, who was pacing anxiously, back-and-forth.</p>
<p>"John, baby— are you okay?" Kahlee asked as she tried to get her son to stop pacing.</p>
<p>"I'm a fucking monster," Shepard cried, "You heard what she said. I'm a horrible person. Mom, I swear— I never meant to hurt you. I'd rather die than hurt you. I need — I need to go. I don't wanna hurt nobody," Shepard explained as he rushed out the front door.</p>
<p>"John, baby— no, come back," Kahlee pleaded as she watched her son continue on down the street. "Dammit! I need to call David." </p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>One hour later—</b>
</p>
<p>"Has he come back yet?" Anderson asked as he hugged his wife tight.</p>
<p>"No— I'm worried, David. He wasn't himself when he left. He was so upset. This is all my fault. I should have never let her see him," Kahlee explained with tears in her crystalline-blue eyes.</p>
<p>"It's okay. You couldn't have known what would happen. Who was this woman? Are you sure she was really his mother?" Anderson asked, hoping the woman was a fake.</p>
<p>"She told me where she left him. I don't think that's common knowledge. And, they both have that straight-to-the-point attitude. He doesn't look like her, though— not even a little bit. But, she claims he looks exactly like his father. So— I don't know, David. I wish I did, but I don't," Kahlee replied honestly.</p>
<p>"And she said her name was Hannah Shepard," David asked, preparing to run a background check on the woman.</p>
<p>"Yes. I saw her ID— that was her name," Kahlee said nervously.</p>
<p>"I'll run a background check on her. In the meantime— I want you to call Garrus, James, and Paul. Ask them to try searching for him. I'll call Kaidan and let him know what's going on," Anderson insisted as he started to dial his phone.</p>
<p>"Kaidan's on his way. I called him just before you got here. If anyone can find John— it's Kaidan," Kahlee explained.</p>
<p>"That's good. I'm going to call Doctor Smith— just in case John needs him," Anderson said as he quickly dialed the number. "I wish Ryan were here. He'd know where to find our boy."</p>
<p>"Doctor Smith here," Michael replied with laughter in his voice.</p>
<p>"Michael, this is David Anderson."</p>
<p>"David, what can I do for you? Do you need to bring Shepard over for his depot shot today?" Michael asked casually.</p>
<p>"He took his shot last week," Anderson said in confusion.</p>
<p>"No— he never came in. I assumed it had something to do with his schedule. Is everything alright?" Michael asked, his voice going tense.</p>
<p>"No— it isn't. John's biological mother showed up, demanding money from him. Things got heated, and he accidentally grazed Kahlee with his elbow. Kahlee demanded that the woman leave, but by that time, John was so upset that he ran out of the house. He hasn't been sleeping well, and I'm afraid he's on the verge of having a minor episode," Anderson explained truthfully.</p>
<p>"Do you have the sedatives I prescribed in case of an emergency?" Michael asked in a serious tone.</p>
<p>"We do," Anderson said with a nod. </p>
<p>"If he comes back before I get there, and he seems to be a bit manic, I want you to have him take a dose along with his oral antipsychotic medication," Michael instructed. "I'll be there shortly with his depot shot."</p>
<p>"Thank you— we appreciate it," Anderson said gratefully.</p>
<p>"It's not a problem. I'm on my way now," Michael assured David as he ended the call.</p>
<p>"Is John okay?" Kaidan asked as he entered the room with purpose.</p>
<p>"We don't know," Kahlee admitted. "Kaidan, you've been spending a lot of time with John— do you have any idea where he may be going?"</p>
<p>"I'm not sure, but I'm willing to search. I'll go right now," Kaidan replied as he turned to go.</p>
<p>"Kaidan, wait," Kahkee called out. "John didn't take his coat. It's going to be dark soon. Let me get his coat. I don't want him to be cold."</p>
<p>"Okay," Kaidan said as he watched an obviously distraught Kahlee head towards her son's room.</p>
<p>"Kaidan, if you find John and he's not acting like himself— I want you to have him take these," Anderson instructed as he handed the concerned young man a small bottle with a few pills inside. "This is just one dose, so make sure he takes all three pills."</p>
<p>"I understand. I'll text you if I find him," Kaidan promised just as Kahlee returned with Shepard's hooded coat.</p>
<p>"It's supposed to be cold tonight, so I picked the heavy one," Kahlee explained as she handed Kaidan the coat.</p>
<p>"Thanks. I'm going to head out," Kaidan said as he turned to leave.</p>
<p>"We'll text you if he comes home," Anderson promised as Kaidan made his way out of the house.</p>
<p>"I appreciate it," Kaidan called out as he got into his car and started his search—</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>Kaidan searched for hours with no luck. It was beginning to turn dark when Kaidan had the idea to look in one last place—</p>
<p>Kaidan parked the car in the empty lot, then opened the trunk to retrieve a bottle of water,  a flashlight, and a blanket in the hopes he would find his love. He carefully made his way down the steps to the hidden trail that he and Shepard had travelled so many times before.</p>
<p>Kaidan was about three-fourths the way up the trail when he heard a distraught voice in the distance—</p>
<p>"Why won't you let me be? I ain't got nothing to give you. If I had it to give, I'd give it— just to make you go away. I know you want me dead, but why? I don't understand. What did I do? Why do you hate me," Shepard called out, speaking to the phantom figure of the one woman that could make him feel less than zero. </p>
<p>Kaidan watched in shocked fascination as Shepard conversed with himself— his words becoming faster and much less coherent.</p>
<p>"I'm tired— I just wanna sleep," Shepard mumbled as he staggered around the small grove.</p>
<p>"John," Kaidan called out, causing Shepard to jump in surprise. "It's me— K. Are you okay, honey?"</p>
<p>"My K," Shepard smiled before his brow furrowed in confusion.</p>
<p><em> 'If he comes close, you'll just end up hurting him. You're a monster, remember. All you do is hurt people, just like your dear old dad,' </em>the phantom of his mother taunted him mercilessly.</p>
<p>"Stay away, K! I don't wanna hurt you. I love you, baby," Shepard pleaded.</p>
<p>"John, honey— you're not going to hurt me," Kaidan insisted. "Trust me, baby."</p>
<p><em> 'Shepard, listen to me, goddammit! That bitch is nothing but a goddamn liar. And even if she was telling the truth about your father— you </em> <b> <em>ain't </em> </b> <em> him. You need to block her out. She can't hurt you! This phantom ain't nothing more than the manifestation of all that bitch's negative energy. You don't fucking need it! So, please, J— let it go,' </em>the voice pleaded.</p>
<p>"Let it go— I wanna let it go, but it's in my blood. I can't escape it. No matter what I do— she's a part of me, and so is he— the alleged monster whose face I wear. I just wanna scream it all away," Shepard admitted as he fell to his knees in exhaustion, his breath noticeable in the cold night air as he looked to the moon and screamed— creating an image eerily similar to the tattoo on his right forearm.</p>
<p>"Shepard," Kaidan whispered as he ran towards his love.</p>
<p>Kaidan immediately knelt down in front of the troubled teen— taking Shepard's face into his hands, effectively forcing the young blonde to look directly at him—</p>
<p>"John, honey— it's me. It's K," Kaidan said in a gentle but firm tone.</p>
<p>"K— baby, I don't wanna hurt you. I don't wanna hurt nobody," Shepard admitted with the saddest look Kaidan had ever seen.</p>
<p>"I know, baby. You won't hurt me. You won't hurt anyone," Kaidan promised as he continued to study his lover's sad blue eyes.</p>
<p>"Yes, I will! I'm a monster— just like my father! I hurt my mom, K— I hurt Kahlee," Shepard explained as his eyes suddenly settled on something over Kaidan's shoulder.</p>
<p>Kaidan studied Shepard's eyes as they dilated in what Kaidan suspected to be fear, judging by the look on his lover's face.</p>
<p>"Please, go away. Don't hurt my K," Shepard begged with tears filling his sapphire eyes.</p>
<p>Kaidan glanced over his shoulder to try and figure out who or what was making his lover so upset. Seeing nothing, Kaidan assumed that Shepard was indeed having an episode.</p>
<p>"John, look at me," Kaidan insisted, "Look at <strong>me</strong>. I don't know what you're seeing, but try to block it out. Just focus on me. Can you do that, honey?"</p>
<p>Shepard's gaze shifted back to Kaidan as he tried his best to focus on the man he had grown to love. Kaidan noticed how irregular his lover's breathing had become, and it scared him greatly.</p>
<p>"John, honey— I need you to take a deep breath. Just do as I do— Inhale— exhale. Inhale— exhale," Kaidan coached him through the breathing exercises until Shepard's breathing had calmed. "That's right. Just breathe, John— just like that. You're doing great."</p>
<p>"I'm tired, K— but it won't let me sleep," Shepard admitted as he began to grow restless once again. </p>
<p>"Here, baby— I have something that'll help," Kaidan promised as he retrieved the bottle from his inside coat pocket. </p>
<p>"What is it?" Shepard asked nervously.</p>
<p>"It's something to make you feel better— that's all," Kaidan explained slowly.</p>
<p>"Will it make her go away?" Shepard asked anxiously.</p>
<p>"I think so," Kaidan replied with a nod as he opened the bottle of water.</p>
<p>"Okay," Shepard agreed as Kaidan placed the pills into his lover's mouth before putting the water bottle to Shepard's lips.</p>
<p>Once Shepard took the medication, Kaidan quickly put the water bottle away before taking the blanket and placing it around his lover's body.</p>
<p>"You're freezing, honey. Let's get you to the car, eh," Kaidan whispered as he kissed Shepard on the forehead.</p>
<p>"I love you, K," Shepard whispered as he pressed his forehead against Kaidan's.</p>
<p>"I love you too, honey," Kaidan assured the blue-eyed beauty as he led the broken teen to the car.</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>"Here, baby— put this on," Kaidan instructed as he helped Shepard into his heavy coat. "Let me get you settled."</p>
<p>Kaidan helped Shepard into the passenger's seat before buckling his lover's seat belt. </p>
<p>"Are you comfortable, love?" Kaidan asked as he touched Shepard's face gently.</p>
<p>"I'm tired. I just wanna sleep," Shepard admitted as he leaned into Kaidan's touch, turning his head so he could kiss his lover's warm palm.</p>
<p>"Okay, babe— we'll be home soon," Kaidan promised as he kissed his lover gently on the lips.</p>
<p>Once Kaidan was in the driver's seat, he immediately called Shepard's parents—</p>
<p>"Hello, Mr. Anderson— I found John. We're on our way home." … "He's definitely not himself. I gave him the medication. He's calmer now, so I think it's working." … "We'll be home in about twenty minutes." … "Will do. Bye."</p>
<p>Kaidan quickly ended the call before turning his attention to Shepard, who was bouncing his knee nervously.</p>
<p>"Are you ready to go home, honey?" Kaidan asked as he placed his hand on Shepard's bouncing knee.</p>
<p>"Uh-huh," Shepard nodded as Kaidan started the car and headed home.</p>
<p>They were about halfway to Shepard's house when the blue-eyed teen broke the silence.</p>
<p>"I think it would be better if I wasn't here no more," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p>
<p>Shepard's words sent a shot of fear down Kaidan's spine.</p>
<p>"What? John, honey— what do you mean by that? Do you not wanna live in Vancouver?" Kaidan asked, hoping that's what his troubled lover had meant.</p>
<p>Shepard shook his head before speaking. "It would be better for everybody if I was gone— that way, I couldn't hurt nobody no more."</p>
<p>Shepard's voice was almost robotic, and his face was blank as he stared straight ahead— unblinking.</p>
<p>"John? <b>JOHN</b>," Kaidan yelled in a panic as he pulled the car over—</p>
<p>Kaidan quickly unbuckled his seat belt before rushing to the passenger-side door— opening it to gain better access to his lover.</p>
<p>"John, honey— look at me," Kaidan pleaded as he tried to get Shepard to focus on him instead of staring into space. "Baby, don't do this. Come back to me," Kaidan begged.</p>
<p>Kaidan, not knowing what else to do, slapped Shepard as hard as he could, causing Shepard to blink in confusion.</p>
<p>"What? Where am I?" Shepard asked with a quiver in his voice.</p>
<p>Kaidan sighed in relief as he held Shepard's face in his hands. "You're with me, John. We're going home. Do you remember?"</p>
<p>Shepard shook his head slowly— his brow furrowing as he struggled to remember— his eyes going wide as he broke out in tears.</p>
<p>"I hit my mom," Shepard cried as Kaidan held him close.</p>
<p>"John, honey— listen to me— it was an accident. Your mom is fine. She's worried about you. She wants you to come home, baby," Kaidan explained honestly.</p>
<p>"I didn't mean to hurt her, K. I'd rather die than hurt my mom," Shepard sobbed as Kaidan stroked his dark-blonde hair.</p>
<p>"I know, honey. It's alright," Kaidan insisted as he kissed Shepard atop the head.</p>
<p>"I'm so tired, K," Shepard admitted, his voice slurring as he spoke.</p>
<p>'The medication must be kicking in,' Kaidan thought to himself.</p>
<p>"Let's get you home, eh," Kaidan said with a smile as he leaned the seat back for his lover. "You can sleep on the way. Okay, love."</p>
<p>Shepard just nodded as he motioned for Kaidan to come closer. Once Kaidan was close enough, Shepard kissed his whisky-eyed love gently before mumbling— "I love my K."</p>
<p>Kaidan smiled a sweet smile. "I love you too, honey."</p>
<p>Once they were back on the road, it only took a few minutes for them to make it home.</p>
<p>"John, wake up. We're home, honey," Kaidan said as he shook his lover— just hard enough for Shepard to stir. </p>
<p>"Hn," Shepard groaned as Kaidan helped the groggy teen out of the car and into the house.</p>
<p>Anderson and Kahlee were ecstatic to see their troubled son safe-and-sound.</p>
<p>"Get him to bed, and once he's settled, let me know, and I'll come in and give him his shot," Michael instructed as he looked through his medical bag.</p>
<p>Once in the bedroom, Kaidan helped Shepard strip before helping his lover into the bed. Satisfied that Shepard was comfortable, Kaidan called for Doctor Smith to enter the room.</p>
<p>It only took a few seconds for Michael to administer the dosage. Once that was done, he examined his patient thoroughly— making sure his heart rate was within a normal range. </p>
<p>During the examination, Kaidan told Doctor Smith all about what had happened, trying his best not to leave anything out.</p>
<p>"Is it always this bad," Kaidan asked, stroking Shepard's dark-blonde hair as he slept.</p>
<p>"Son, this wasn't bad," Michael answered truthfully.</p>
<p>"It wasn't," Kaidan asked in confusion.</p>
<p>"No— it wasn't. This was a mild episode brought on by stress. The fact that he hasn't been sleeping and his lack of medication was most likely the catalyst. The confrontation with his biological mother was the trigger. He'll be fine by morning— and if he isn't— well, we'll take care of him," Michael promised. </p>
<p>"Okay. I'm going to stay with him tonight— if that's alright," Kaidan said as he continued to stroke Shepard's dark-blonde hair.</p>
<p>"That'll be fine. You did well tonight. You were calm and understanding— you were everything Shepard needed. I'm impressed. I haven't seen anyone with the ability to do that for Shepard— not since Aaron, I mean," Michael smiled a sad smile. "He must really love you. Well, I had better get going. Call me if you need me."</p>
<p>"I will. Thanks for taking care of him," Kaidan said with a grateful smile. </p>
<p>"It's no trouble. He's my patient, after all," Michael smiled as he made his way to the door. "Have a good night, Kaidan."</p>
<p>"You too," Kaidan nodded as he watched the door close as the doctor exited the room. </p>
<p>Kaidan sighed as he made himself comfortable by his lover's side. "Sweet dreams, love," Kaidan whispered as he kissed Shepard's naked shoulder. </p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>The next morning—</b>
</p>
<p>Kaidan woke to the sight of Shepard's sapphire-blue eyes staring directly at him, startling him with their intensity—</p>
<p>"Did I scare you, baby?" Shepard asked quietly— his voice apologetic.</p>
<p>"No— you just startled me. How long have you been awake?" Kaidan asked as he pulled Shepard closer.</p>
<p>"A while now," Shepard shrugged. "You're beautiful when you sleep."</p>
<p>Kaidan smiled gently. "Are you feeling better this morning?"</p>
<p>"I—I think so. I still need to apologize to my mom," Shepard said with a sad look on his handsome face.</p>
<p>"John, honey— you already did. She doesn't blame you. It was an accident. You understand that— don't you?" Kaidan asked in a gentle voice.</p>
<p>Shepard's brow furrowed before he finally nodded in agreement.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry," Shepard whispered.</p>
<p>Kaidan's brow furrowed in confusion. "What for?"</p>
<p>"I ain't sure what happened, but I know I had some sort of episode. I can feel it inside. I never wanted to subject you to that. I'm so sorry," Shepard sincerely apologized.</p>
<p>"John, I love you, and I'll walk by your side no matter what. You don't have to worry about me. I'm here for the long haul," Kaidan promised. </p>
<p>Shepard smiled as he kissed Kaidan softly. "I fucking love you, K— even if you are a goddamn masochist."</p>
<p>Kaidan couldn't help but laugh as he hugged his lover tight.</p>
<p>"Why don't we get some breakfast? You have to be starving," Kaidan insisted as he dragged his lover out of bed.</p>
<p>"I am pretty hungry," Shepard admitted as he put on a pair of sweats.</p>
<p>"Let's go see what we can find, eh," Kaidan winked as he led his lover down the hall.</p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next Chapter:  Shepard receives an unbelievably generous gift from his parents—</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I made this version of Hannah a terrible person. This is strictly for the purpose of the story. The Hannah from the Spacer timeline in the Mass Effect Trilogy is a totally different person than the one I created for this story. I just used her name because it's the canon name for Shepard's mother. I hope that makes sense. The final chapter is coming up. I hope you enjoyed the story so far. Thanks for reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0035"><h2>35. I'm Still Breathing</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Shepard receives an unbelievably generous gift from his parents. Shepard and Kaidan take a big step towards their future—</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>***WARNING***<br/>SEXUAL CONTENT </p>
<p>This is the final chapter— I hope you enjoy the ending.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had been a week since the incident, and Shepard had yet to speak about it to anyone. It wasn't until his father had decided to take him out for lunch that Shepard finally opened up—</p>
<p>"How did your appointment with Doctor Smith go?" Anderson asked as he took a bite of his food.</p>
<p>"It went okay," Shepard shrugged as he took a drink of his water. "He said I was doing fine."</p>
<p>"That's good. I know you probably don't want to talk about it, but I'm here if you want to talk," Anderson offered with a smile.</p>
<p>"I hit Mom. I still can't believe I fucking did that," Shepard shook his head as he continued to eat his lunch.</p>
<p>"From what I hear, it was an accident. Your mother said she grabbed you— your arm jerked, and your elbow grazed her. You didn't mean to do it, so try not to beat yourself up over it. You've done that enough, eh," Anderson insisted.</p>
<p>"I dunno— I think maybe my birth mother was right. I think I might be a monster," Shepard said, his brow furrowed in contemplation.</p>
<p>"Son, what on Earth are you talking about?" Anderson asked in confusion.</p>
<p>"My birth mother— I wanted to throttle the goddamn bitch. Hell, I <b>would</b> have if Mom hadn't stopped me, and I wouldn't have felt the least bit guilty about it. Don't you think that's a sign?" Shepard asked nervously.</p>
<p>Anderson sighed hard. "Shepard, Son— I don't think you're a monster. You were upset and with good reason. Your birth mother pushed you— it's only natural to feel angry about it. You just need to work on your anger a bit more."</p>
<p>"The fact that I have that anger— don't that make me just like my father," Shepard explained nervously.</p>
<p>"John, you <b>aren't </b> your father— whoever the hell he is. You are you— John Devon Shepard, you are <b>my </b>son, and you're a great kid," Anderson insisted.</p>
<p>"I dunno, Daddy," Shepard whispered, doubting himself.</p>
<p>"Son— you say you would have hurt your birth mother and wouldn't have felt the least bit guilty, but that's simply not true," Anderson explained with a knowing smile.</p>
<p>"What do you mean?" Shepard asked in confusion.</p>
<p>"Son— you feel guilty right now, and you didn't even touch your birth mother. You don't realize it because you resent her so much," Anderson said with a reassuring smile.</p>
<p>"I dunno, Dad— I think I'd punch her now if I could," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p>
<p>"No, you wouldn't. You just think you would. Son— look at it this way— monsters don't care if they hurt people. They aren't afraid of being monsters. That alone should tell you that you're no monster," Anderson insisted, "That being said— you <b>are </b>a lot like your daddy."</p>
<p>Shepard paled at his father's words. "I am," Shepard asked nervously.</p>
<p>"Yep. You are a lot like me, and <b>I'm </b>your daddy. No matter what anyone says— that's the truth," Anderson explained with a proud smile.</p>
<p>Shepard couldn't help but smile at his father. "Thanks, Daddy."</p>
<p>"I just told you the truth. How's your lunch?" Anderson asked with a lighthearted smile.</p>
<p>"It's good," Shepard admitted as he continued to eat. "Daddy— she kept saying that he was a monster and that I had his face— but she wouldn't tell me his name. Is there any way you can check the police records?"</p>
<p>"What do you mean, Son? Without his name, it'll be difficult," Anderson replied, wishing his son would let it go.</p>
<p>"I know— but maybe you can check the mugshots or something— look for my face, maybe," Shepard suggested anxiously.</p>
<p>"Son, why? What good will it do?" Anderson asked in a pleading tone.</p>
<p>"If you can't find anything, then maybe he ain't as bad as she says," Shepard said with a shrug. "She talked like he was the motherfucking devil, but maybe she lied. I dunno— forget I said anything. You're my <b>real</b> father. He don't matter."</p>
<p>"I love you, Son," Anderson smiled sympathetically. "I'll see what I can find, but I don't expect I'll find much of anything."</p>
<p>"I know. Thanks for trying, though," Shepard smiled appreciatively. "Are you about ready to go?" </p>
<p>"I am. Are you meeting Kaidan?" Anderson asked curiously.</p>
<p>"No. I have hockey practise. We're in the final stretch of the playoffs now— best of seven," Shepard reminded his father.</p>
<p>"What do you think the team's chances are against the Hellhounds?" Anderson asked as he paid the cheque.</p>
<p>"About fifty-fifty— it could, honestly, go either way. I fucking despise Kai Leng, but the bastard can play, and his teammates are as solid as they come. My team's strong, though— so we got a great chance of taking the cup," Shepard explained truthfully.</p>
<p>"Well, I'm going to try to be at all seven games— if I can't— I'll definitely be at game-seven," Anderson insisted as they walked to the car.</p>
<p>"I know you will," Shepard grinned as they made their way home.</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Two weeks later—</b>
</p>
<p>The Renegades had managed to win the first game in the series by an impressive six to two. The Hellhounds answered with a narrow victory— winning by just one point in game two. The back-and-forth continued until they found themselves in game-seven— one last dance to settle it all.</p>
<p>Kai Leng started out strong— scoring two points in the first period, with Shepard answering with two of his own. The second period was eerily similar, with Miller and Garrus scoring one goal each, with Shepard assisting. The Hellhounds were relentless, answering with three goals, putting them ahead by one at the start of the third period.</p>
<p>Shepard started out strong in the third, pulling off an impressive hat trick to regain the lead. Shepard led his team well, and with only a few seconds left, Shepard scored one last goal to secure the cup for his team.</p>
<p>The second Shepard scored the final goal, the entire rink erupted in celebration, with Shepard's teammates showering him with proud affection.</p>
<p>Shepard couldn't wipe the smile off his face as he celebrated with his teammates before searching out a certain face in the crowd—</p>
<p>"There's my K," Shepard grinned as he hugged his lover tight before giving him a kiss.</p>
<p>The photographers were having a field day, but they didn't mind. They were happy in their own world, and that was enough for them.</p>
<p>"I'm so proud of you, honey," Kaidan said with a proud smile on his face as he kissed his love again.</p>
<p>"There's my boy," Anderson called out as he hugged his son proudly. "I knew you could do it."</p>
<p>"Thanks, Daddy," Shepard grinned as he hugged his father back.</p>
<p>"Loco, you did so good! I'm so proud of you," Hailey giggled as Shepard picked her up and put her on his hip before placing his helmet on her tiny head.</p>
<p>"Thank you, baby girl," Shepard grinned as he reached out to hug his mother with his free hand. "I love you, Mom."</p>
<p>"I love you too, sweetheart," Kahlee said with tears of joy in her crystalline-blue eyes. "Congratulations— I'm so proud of you."</p>
<p>Once the celebration died down, the entire team headed to a huge party the Anderson's had set up for the team to celebrate the end of their season—</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>"I really wish Ryan could have been here. I just know he's kicking himself right now," Shepard mused as he took a drink of his beer.</p>
<p>"Yeah— he's definitely going to be disappointed," Garrus agreed with a chuckle as Tali kissed his cheek.</p>
<p>"Have you guys seen Kaidan? I haven't seen him in a while," Shepard asked curiously.</p>
<p>"Yeah— I saw him with some brunette girl that I've never seen before," Paul replied as he took a drink of his beer.</p>
<p>"Hn," Shepard grunted, his brow furrowed in confusion.</p>
<p>Shepard lingered with his friends for a short while before finally deciding to go look for his missing lover.</p>
<p>Shepard could hear the sound of voices just outside the banquet hall, so he decided to take a closer look—</p>
<p>"Kaidan," Shepard called out, causing Kaidan to look his way.</p>
<p>"Hey, Shepard," Kaidan smiled sweetly.</p>
<p>"I was wondering where you ran off to," Shepard smiled as he put his arm around his lover's waist. "I missed you, baby."</p>
<p>"I was just talking to Ash. She's visiting for the week," Kaidan explained nervously.</p>
<p>"Oh— hey," Shepard said, nodding in her direction.</p>
<p>"Hi— Kaidan, can I talk to you for just a second— privately?" Ashley asked with a hint of irritation in her voice.</p>
<p>"Do you mind, honey?" Kaidan asked with a nervous look in his whisky-coloured eyes.</p>
<p>"Not at all," Shepard assured his love as he kissed Kaidan's cheek.</p>
<p>"I'll be right back," Kaidan promised as he followed his cousin to the edge of the garden—</p>
<p>"Ash, before you say anything— I was going to tell you— I just didn't know how," Kaidan explained.</p>
<p>"Kaidan, please tell me you aren't sleeping with him," Ashley said in disappointment.</p>
<p>"Ash, I love you— but it's really none of your business," Kaidan replied in annoyance.</p>
<p>"Oh, my God— you are! Kaidan, you need to think this through. He's not right for you, and I'm not just saying that because he's a guy. He's not our kind, Kaidan. He'll never fit in with our family. He'll be uncomfortable as hell, and he'll never be happy. You should think about that," Ashley lectured. </p>
<p>"I have— believe me, but we can make it work. We've been doing just fine. I don't think that's changing anytime soon," Kaidan admitted truthfully.</p>
<p>"Kaidan, you need to get your head on straight. We both know that Rahna is the girl for you. She always was, and she always will be," Ashley insisted.</p>
<p>"Stop it! Just stop! I don't <b>want </b>Rahna. I'm not in love with Rahna— I'm in love with John, and I know for a fact, he loves me. I'm sorry if you can't accept that, but it isn't going to change. I love you, Ash. You mean a lot to me, but I'm not leaving John."</p>
<p>Ashley considered things for a brief moment before answering—</p>
<p>"Fine, you win, Kaidan. I'll accept it, but I won't be happy about it. I still think Rahna's the one for you," Ashley admitted.</p>
<p>"Ash, please— don't talk like that in front of John," Kaidan pleaded.</p>
<p>"I won't. I'll behave— I promise," Ashley said as she put her arm around his. "Let's go talk to your boy."</p>
<p>"Thanks, Ash," Kaidan smiled as he followed his cousin to Shepard's side.</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>The three talked for a short while before Shepard decided it was time for he and Kaidan to head out—</p>
<p>"I'm gonna go tell my parents goodnight," Shepard said as he gave his lover a quick kiss.</p>
<p>"Hurry back," Kaidan smiled as he watched the blue-eyed blonde disappear into the hall.</p>
<p>"So— where are you two going?" Ashley asked in a teasing tone.</p>
<p>"Probably to his place," Kaidan admitted with a grin.</p>
<p>"Ew— at least wear a condom," Ashley said in annoyance.</p>
<p>"Your concern is touching," Kaidan laughed as Shepard made his way back.</p>
<p>"You ready to go, babe?" Shepard asked as he took Kaidan by the hand.</p>
<p>"Yep," Kaidan answered with a wink. "Goodnight, Ash. I'll talk to you tomorrow," Kaidan said as he kissed her on the cheek.</p>
<p>"Goodnight— play safe," Ashley teased.</p>
<p>"Later, Ash," Shepard said with a smile as he led Kaidan to the car.</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>It only took about fifteen minutes for the lovers to arrive at Shepard's house—</p>
<p>The minute they entered the house, they were all over each other— awkwardly bumping into furniture as they kissed their way to Shepard's bedroom.</p>
<p>Once they were inside, they immediately began taking off their clothes—</p>
<p>"I could stare at your body forever," Kaidan admitted as he licked a trail down the center of Shepard's well-muscled chest.</p>
<p>Shepard just laughed as he pushed Kaidan down on the bed.</p>
<p>"I can't wait to taste you," Shepard grinned as he stroked Kaidan gently before gently licking the tip, "Your cock always tastes so goddamn good."</p>
<p>Kaidan blushed at Shepard's words.</p>
<p>"I can't believe you're still able to blush. You should be used to my filthy mouth by now," Shepard chuckled in amusement as he continued to lick the entire length of Kaidan's shaft.</p>
<p>"Oh, I'm used to your mouth— it just turns me on so damn much that I just have to blush," Kaidan explained with a bold wink.</p>
<p>"That's what I like to hear," Shepard admitted as he took the full length of Kaidan's cock deep into his throat, bobbing up and down until Kaidan decided to take control— holding Shepard's head as he fucked his lover's throat.</p>
<p>Once Kaidan was on the very edge— he let go of Shepard's head. Not wanting to cum too soon, Kaidan slowly pulled Shepard off his dick.</p>
<p>"Come here and let me taste you now," Kaidan instructed as he took Shepard into his mouth.</p>
<p>"Hmm— you're getting so much better at this," Shepard praised, causing Kaidan to smile around his cock.</p>
<p>Kaidan stopped just long enough to speak— "I had a very good teacher," Kaidan winked before he continued his efforts.</p>
<p>"K, baby— I'm gonna cum," Shepard said as he gently stopped Kaidan.</p>
<p>"I want you to. Let me finish you off, okay," Kaidan insisted as he took Shepard back into his mouth.</p>
<p>It didn't take long for Shepard to cum, spilling inside of Kaidan's mouth— flooding it with his essence.</p>
<p>It took Kaidan a few seconds, but surprisingly, he managed to swallow all Shepard had to give.</p>
<p>"You taste so sweet," Kaidan grinned as he kissed the blue-eyed beauty passionately.</p>
<p>"I want you inside me, baby," Shepard whispered as Kaidan smiled— his whisky-coloured eyes shining in adoration.</p>
<p>Kaidan retrieved the lubricant from the nightstand and quickly prepared Shepard before slowly entering his lover. It wasn't long until Kaidan found himself buried to the hilt inside of the blue-eyed blonde.</p>
<p>"Are you okay, honey?" Kaidan asked, wanting his lover to be totally comfortable before moving.</p>
<p>"I'm good. You can move now, K," Shepard assured his lover with a kiss.</p>
<p>Kaidan started out slowly— taking his time while he enjoyed the feeling of Shepard's tight heat before finally picking up the pace.</p>
<p>"Fuck me harder, K. Make me feel it deep inside," Shepard pleaded as Kaidan did as he was told, angling his hips so that he hit his love's prostate with every hard thrust.</p>
<p>Shepard moaned as he wrapped his long legs around the whisky-eyed brunette's waist, pulling his lover deeper into him.</p>
<p>"I'm so close, John," Kaidan admitted as he kissed Shepard's neck.</p>
<p>"Cum for me, K. I wanna feel it inside," Shepard admitted as he held on tight to his lover.</p>
<p>Shepard's words were just enough to send Kaidan over the edge— his body dripping sweat as his hips stuttered.</p>
<p>"Fuck yeah," Shepard moaned as Kaidan continued to cum hard into Shepard's hot body.</p>
<p>The instant Kaidan had finished, he immediately started stroking Shepard, hoping to make his lover cum.</p>
<p>Within minutes Shepard's body went taut as he let out a grunt before cumming on his own chest.</p>
<p>"That was so good," Shepard chuckled as Kaidan buried his face in the hollow of Shepard's neck.</p>
<p>"Mmm—" Kaidan hummed in satisfaction.</p>
<p>"I wish we could do this every night," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p>
<p>"Maybe we could," Kaidan said with a serious look on his handsome face.</p>
<p>"Huh?" Shepard asked in confusion.</p>
<p>"Move in with me," Kaidan asked suddenly.</p>
<p>"Very funny, K— you live with your parents. Are you trying to make them hate me?" Shepard pouted.</p>
<p>"I'm moving out after graduation. I was hoping you could help me go house-hunting," Kaidan suggested.</p>
<p>"Are you serious? You ain't playing with me, are you, baby?" Shepard asked anxiously.</p>
<p>"No, honey— I'm not playing with you. I really want you to move in with me. Please, John— consider it, eh," Kaidan pleaded.</p>
<p>Shepard's eyes grew wide in surprise as his heart started to race—</p>
<p>Kaidan noticed that Shepard had been subconsciously holding his breath—</p>
<p>"John, love— you need to breathe for me," Kaidan insisted as he shook his lover out of his reverie.</p>
<p>Shepard finally took a breathe— "I'm still breathing, baby— I was just in shock. Do you really want me to move in with you?"</p>
<p>"I do," Kaidan admitted truthfully.</p>
<p>"I—I don't know what to say," Shepard said honestly.</p>
<p>"You don't have to answer right away. We have to find a place first," Kaidan reminded his lover.</p>
<p>"Okay," Shepard smiled as he kissed his lover slowly. </p>
<p>"I love you, honey," Kaidan said as he held Shepard tight.</p>
<p>"I love you too, K," Shepard yawned as he closed his eyes. "Goodnight, baby."</p>
<p>"Goodnight, love," Kaidan whispered as he, too, closed his eyes.</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>The next morning the lovers were awakened by the sound of knocking—</p>
<p>"Who is it?" Kaidan called out in a hazy voice.</p>
<p>"It's Kahlee— can you guys come out to the kitchen? We have a surprise for John," Kahlee explained.</p>
<p>"I'll try to wake him," Kaidan called out.</p>
<p>"Oh, sweetie, I wish you luck," Kahlee teased. "I'll see you guys in the kitchen."</p>
<p>"Thanks," Kaidan agreed as he attempted to wake his cranky mate, "John, baby— it's time to wake up. Your parents want to see you."</p>
<p>"Hn— No," Shepard grunted as he pulled the sheet over his head.</p>
<p>"As adorable as you are when you're acting like a prickly porcupine, you have to get up," Kaidan insisted.</p>
<p>"Fuck you— I ain't movin'," Shepard growled.</p>
<p>"If you love me, you'll get up," Kaidan grinned as he kissed Shepard's naked shoulder.</p>
<p>"That's dirty, K," Shepard complained as he sat up in bed.</p>
<p>"I know," Kaidan admitted as he handed Shepard a pair of sweats, "Put these on."</p>
<p>"Fine," Shepard said as he quickly put them on. "Can we go now? I wanna come back and sleep some more."</p>
<p>"We will— I promise," Kaidan smiled as he led Shepard to the kitchen—</p>
<p>"Hey, sweetheart," Kahlee smiled as she kissed her son on the cheek. "Do you want anything to eat?"</p>
<p>"Nah— I'm gonna go back to bed in a few minutes," Shepard explained.</p>
<p>"Well— I guess we should give him his graduation gift now, huh," Anderson suggested.</p>
<p>"I ain't graduated yet. I got two more months to go," Shepard said in confusion.</p>
<p>"Well, it's also a congratulatory gift for winning the cup last night," Anderson chuckled as he handed his son a folded document.</p>
<p>"What's this?" Shepard asked, his brow cocked in amusement.</p>
<p>"Open it and find out," Kahlee insisted.</p>
<p>"Alright," Shepard shrugged as he opened the document. "Are you guys serious?"</p>
<p>"We are," his parents replied in unison.</p>
<p>"You're putting the house in my name," Shepard asked in amazement. "Why?"</p>
<p>"Oh, my silly boy— we're not just putting the house in your name— we're giving it to you. We know you're going to need a place of your own, so we decided to give you the house," Kahlee explained with a smile. </p>
<p>"Where the hell will you guys live?" Shepard asked curiously.</p>
<p>"We're buying a bigger house— one in Shaughnessy," Anderson explained.</p>
<p>"And Hailey's okay with this," Shepard asked, motioning towards his little sister.</p>
<p>"Yep. I get a bigger room. Don't worry, though— I picked out a room for you too. You can stay with us sometimes, but only if I can stay with you sometimes too," Hailey insisted.</p>
<p>"Guys, this is too generous— I can't accept this," Shepard said as he tried to hand the document back to his father.</p>
<p>"Son, don't make us beg. This was your first real home, and we want you to have it," Anderson explained.</p>
<p>Shepard chewed his lip in contemplation before answering—</p>
<p>"Fine— I accept. Thank you guys, so much," Shepard said as he hugged his parents in thanks. "I love you guys, yeah."</p>
<p>"We love you too," his parents said in unison.</p>
<p>"You can go back to bed now," Anderson chuckled as he watched his son head back into his bedroom.</p>
<p>
  <b>~~~☆~~~</b>
</p>
<p>"That was very generous of them," Kaidan said with a smile as he removed his sweatpants to curl up beside his naked lover.</p>
<p>"It was. I'm lucky to have them, 'cause I sure as hell don't deserve them," Shepard said with a fond smile.</p>
<p>"I don't know about that. You're a pretty great guy, you know?"</p>
<p>Shepard shrugged as he decided to change the subject—</p>
<p>"Hey, K," Shepard called out, "When can you move in?"</p>
<p>"Seriously? You want me here," Kaidan asked with a grin.</p>
<p>"Of course, I do," Shepard nodded as he kissed Kaidan on the top of the head. "If it wasn't for you, I don't think I'd remember how to breathe. Because of you— I'm still breathing."</p>
<p>"I love you, John Devon Shepard," Kaidan grinned as he kissed Shepard passionately.</p>
<p>"I love you too, Kaidan Aleksander Alenko," Shepard chuckled in amusement.</p>
<p>"Do you think your parents would allow me to move in before they move out?" Kaidan asked curiously.</p>
<p>"I don't see why not," Shepard said with a shrug.</p>
<p>"Good," Kaidan nodded in relief. "I'll start moving in first thing tomorrow— if that's alright with you."</p>
<p>"Hell, yes! I can't wait," Shepard admitted truthfully.</p>
<p>"I can't wait to share the rest of my life with you," Kaidan replied with a loving smile.</p>
<p>"I must be dreaming. I'll be able to wake up next to my K— every day and every night. It doesn't seem real. I wonder if I'm actually breathing, or if I'm in the middle of some odd dream," Shepard smiled as he kissed his lover slowly. </p>
<p>"Trust me, honey— you're still breathing— I can guarantee you that," Kaidan smiled as he curled up beside his lover.</p>
<p>"Yeah— I'm still breathing—"</p>
<p>'Keep breathing, J,' Aaron's voice was a welcome whisper in Shepard's head, and he couldn't help but smile— feeling warm as he cuddled up against his whisky-eyed love.</p>
<p>The two lovers drifted off to sleep in each other's arms, each one dreaming of starting their new lives together— just the two of them.</p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Well, that— as they say— is that. I hope you enjoyed the story, as well as the trilogy as a whole. It took a while for Shepard and Kaidan to get there, but they finally made it. I really enjoyed writing this story, and I am grateful to anyone who took the time to read my work. It means a lot. I hope it brought some enjoyment to you. Thanks for sticking around to the end. I appreciate it— much love to you all! &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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